Total Drama Shuffle Party
by Asujoll
Summary: Twenty-four teenagers have gathered at the Tuhinga Islands to play a new round of Chris McLean's world-famous game show. But with the game drastically changing the way things play out every few rounds, winning will be no easy feat by any stretch. Who will adapt to the ever-uncertain nature of the game, and who will emerge victoriously?
1. Stop Trying To Be Relevant

_A/N: Lol so much for not double dipping stories anymore. Don't listen to me when I say I definitely will or won't do something. But yeah, I just felt like a change of pace. Hope you guys enjoy!_

* * *

A cargo helicopter flew directly above a group of four islands. The helicopter's cargo door was open, and a man in his thirties could be seen overlooking the islands. This man was Caucasian and had chin-length black hair, stubble, and bright white teeth.

"Welcome to the Tuhinga Islands!" the man said to the camera. "I'm Chris McLean, here to bring you yet another exciting bout of Total Drama goodness! And this... is Total Drama Shuffle Party!"

The helicopter landed on the largest island, an island covered in trees and other various plant life. The descending vehicle scared some of the various wildlife away from the scene - birds, pigs, bears, etc. Chris hopped out of the copter and onto the ground.

"This season is going to be one to remember," Chris said to the camera as he began walking. The camera followed after him. "Twenty-four teenagers are here to compete in the competition of a lifetime! They'll be forced to complete challenging tasks, make connections with their peers, and use their brains to make it to the end of the game and win that sweet cash prize."

* * *

Chris had exited the forest and ended up at what looked to be a beach. There was a dock jutting out from the solid land where the beach cut off and extending out into the water itself.

"Of course, you all know that much already," Chris said as he stepped onto the dock. "There's going to be a lot more to this season, believe me. But the new bits are things our campers should hear too, so why don't we bring our campers out here first? It looks like the first one is just showing up, in fact."

Chris looked out to the horizon to see a speedboat headed towards the dock. The boat stopped briefly at the dock to let its passenger off before speeding off again.

"Welcome to the game, Virgil," Chris greeted.

"Welcome yourself, Cupcake," Virgil smirked.

Virgil was a black young man with messy, dyed-orange hair. He wore a grey hoodie jacket over a pink t-shirt, as well as dark khaki shorts and blue slip-on shoes. He had a small white stick coming out of his mouth, which he removed to reveal that he had been sucking on a lollipop.

"What'd you call me?!" Chris winced.

"Not a fan of sweet talk?" Virgil chuckled.

"Right, your mom owns a candy store," Chris remembered.

Virgil stuck his lollipop back into his mouth. "I've always loved sweets. Still do. Probably always will."

"I guess we all need a hobby," Chris shrugged.

"So, am I the first one here?" Virgil asked as he looked around for more people.

"Yep. Stick around while the others arrive," Chris instructed.

"Sweet," Virgil said as he stuck his hands in his jacket pockets and moved to the other end of the dock.

Another boat arrived, this time with a girl.

"Liberty, glad you could make it," Chris smiled.

"Uh..." Liberty emoted as she shuffled to the other end of the dock.

Liberty was a white girl whose black bedhead hair was tamed only by an orange sleeping cap. She wore a flowy, pale blue nightgown and pink slippers.

Once she made it to the other side of the dock, she curled up into a ball and went to sleep.

"Our future winner, I imagine," Virgil remarked.

"With all the twists this season, anything is possible!" Chris said proudly.

"Anything is possible if you genuinely believe!" added a new face as he stepped onto the dock.

The young man was Hispanic, well-built, and had spiky, dark brown hair and a short goatee. He wore an orange cargo vest over a brown muscle shirt, as well as olive cargo shorts and camel-colored hiking boots.

"You sure about that, Jeremy?" Chris asked. "Could you grow a third arm if you believed you could?"

"With enough passion and effort, your dreams _can_ become a reality!" Jeremy declared. "My dream is to be the first man to scale Olympus Mons!"

"Scale what?" Virgil asked.

"Olympus Mons, the tallest mountain on Mars!" Jeremy explained excitedly. "Anyone can climb Mount Everest. I want to make a mark in history! Climb a mountain thrice the height of Everest, on a whole other planet!"

"So loud..." Liberty whined as she pulled her cap over her ears.

The next boat to arrive carried a tall Hispanic girl whose black hair was done up in two long pigtails. She wore a blue, low-cut tank top, black fingerless gloves, a black pleather skirt, navy leggings, and black knee-length boots. Most notably, however, was the dark grey gas mask that covered her face.

"Roxie?" Chris asked. "Uh, this island isn't radioactive. We made sure of it."

Roxie silently made her way to the other end of the dock and removed her mask.

"Nice to meet you, Roxie," Jeremy beamed. "What's your passion?"

"Passion?" Roxie asked. "Passion is lame," she answered with a nonchalant shrug.

Jeremy gasped loudly.

"That can't be possible," Jeremy denied. "Everyone has a dream. A goal they want to fulfill in their life."

"Nah," Roxie said as she put a cigarette between her lips and lit it. "I'm here to win, of course, but that's the only goal I really need right now."

"Is this the oral fixation club, or what?" Virgil chuckled as he took his lollipop out of his mouth.

Another boat arrived with another girl, this one caucasian with messy brown hair and oval glasses. She wore a green hoodie, faded blue jeans, and brown sneakers.

"Remember the exact time and date," the girl smirked. "You'll want to remember the exact moment when you came across the genius who would change the world."

"See, _that's_ what I like to hear!" Jeremy beamed. "What are your ambitions... uh...?"

"Ginger," the girl introduced herself. "I am Ginger Wakeman, the young genius who will define the future of the robotics industry."

"Robots, huh?" Virgil asked.

"Not just robots," Ginger said proudly. "Androids and gynoids. Artificial intelligence. Anyone can program a machine to mass-produce goods or react to certain stimuli. Few would dare to even attempt to recreate the human mind through mountains and mountains of code. I am one of the few. So when you're making love to your robot wife twenty years from now, you'll have me to thank for bringing her into this world."

"Geez, I'm not even married and I'm already dealing with my overbearing mother-in-law," Virgil remarked as he stuck his lollipop back in his mouth.

The next boat arrived, this one carrying a skinny young man. This boy was Caucasian and had very short brown hair and stubble on his face. He wore black sunglasses, a simple red t-shirt on top of a long-sleeved white shirt, ripped blue jeans, and brown sandals. As the boat pulled in, he faced away from the dock.

"Yo, 'sup, guys!" the boy waved to the ocean.

"Uh, Fred, we're over here," Chris pointed out.

"Whuh? Oh, my B," Fred apologized as he slowly made his way across the boat, tripping and falling his way off the ramp and onto the dock.

"Nice going," Roxie commented emotionlessly.

"I'm alright!" Fred insisted as he stood up, dusted himself off, and faced the island.

"Fred. Over here," Chris repeated.

"Right. I knew that," Fred grinned.

"What are you, blind?" Ginger scoffed.

"Legally, yes," Fred shrugged. "But I'm not about to let it get in my way! I never use my cane, because I don't need one, I don't care what everyone says!"

Jeremy and Virgil glanced at each other unsurely.

The next boat to arrive carried a short, Caucasian young man whose chin-length brown hair fell over the right side of his face. He wore a pink hoodie with a red heart design on the chest, brick-colored shorts, and blue tennis shoes with white socks. He timidly stepped off his boat and played with his hands before making eye contact with the other campers.

"H-Hello," the boy murmured.

"Hello!" Jeremy greeted enthusiastically.

The boy tensed up, took a deep breath, and slowly approached the others.

"I'm, um... I'm not used to being out on my own," the boy admitted.

"No kidding," Ginger scoffed. "Need your mommy to hold your hand?"

"Th-That would be nice, actually," the boy smiled. "M-My name is Hiram, by the way. Please, be gentle."

"You want gentle, I think this chick has you covered," Roxie said as she gestured her head at Liberty, who had fallen asleep on the dock.

Hiram approached Liberty and sat down next to her.

"Um... hi," Hiram greeted quietly.

Liberty snored lightly.

"...Okay," Hiram responded.

The next camper was a Caucasian girl with bottom-length red hair partially obscured by the spangen helmet she wore. She wore a simple metal breastplate on top of a faded green t-shirt, khaki slacks, and brown boots. She also carried a wooden spear with a metal blade.

"Good morrow, Lady Hildegard!" Chris greeted.

"Well met," Hildegard nodded. She turned to face the other campers. "And much the same to thee, fellow warriors! I am Lady Hildegard, paladin in training!"

"What a dork..." Roxie commented.

"I beg thee to repeat thineself," Hildegard requested. "Your whispers were alas too soft for mine own ears."

"Wasn't talking to you," Roxie said as she discarded her finished cigarette into the water.

"As I am a good knight with whom you share no yet acquaintance, I shall let thee off with a warning," Hildegard glowered. "T'would be unwise to be discourteous towards me, especially when unarmed."

"You threatening to kill me?" Roxie asked. She put her gas mask back on. "Doesn't sound like something a good knight would do, but what do I know?"

"Nothing of manners, certainly," Hildegard spat.

"Still didn't threaten to kill anyone," Roxie mentioned.

"Am I interrupting something?" a voice from behind Hildegard asked.

The voice belonged to a Hispanic young man with curly black hair. He wore a steel blue sweater vest over a lavender polo shirt, black khaki pants, and brown loafers.

"Ah, well met, stranger," Hildegard greeted. "I am Lady Hildegard. To whom do I have the pleasure of introducing myself?"

"You used the correct 'whom'. Nice," the boy smiled. "Don't see correct grammar in casual conversation that often."

"I inquired unto thee that I might know thy name," Hildegard reminded strictly. "Thy refusal to acknowledge my question is immeasurably rude!"

Hildegard pointed her spear's tip at the boy.

"Oh, um, sorry," the boy apologized. "Elmer. Elmer is my name. And, uh, technically I did acknowledge it, I just didn't _answer_ it."

Fred, Ginger, and Virgil chuckled at Elmer's response.

"And what, pray, doth the lot of you find so humorous?" Hildegard challenged.

"Technically he's not wrong," Fred told Jeremy.

"It is rude to avoid eye contact when spoken to," Hildegard stated as she marched up to Fred and turned him to face her.

"Oh, you're this direction. Heh. I knew that," Fred chortled.

"I'm sure the audience is enjoying this as much as I am, Hildegard, but we still have several campers to introduce," Chris piped up. "Can't have you taking all the screentime."

"Verily. As a good knight, I shall consider the feelings of others!" Hildegard declared.

Elmer glanced skeptically at the camera as he joined the rest of the campers.

A tall, blonde caucasian girl arrived on her boat and stepped onto the dock excitedly. She wore a hot pink crop top that exposed her pierced navel, skimpy daisy dukes, and gold high-heeled sandals.

Virgil, Jeremy, and Elmer all stared at her.

"Heehee," the girl giggled. "Trying to figure out where you remember from?"

"Should I... remember you from something?" Elmer asked. "No, sorry, you're right, I shouldn't have stared. I have a girlfriend."

"It's okay if you recognize me, big boy," the girl purred as she put her finger underneath Elmer's chin. "I'm flattered more than anything."

"I'm confused. Who is this?" Fred asked.

"Does the name Rhiannon Rispoli ring a bell?" the girl, Rhiannon, asked.

"Can't say it does, sorry," Fred admitted.

"Well, legally, most of you aren't old enough to watch porn anyway, so..." Chris mentioned.

"Wait, _porn_?" Ginger asked in disbelief.

"Are we to assume you are one who prostitutes herself on film?" Hildegard asked.

"That's such an ugly word," Rhiannon frowned. "I prefer to call myself an 'adult film actress'."

"Is... that allowed?" Jeremy asked Chris.

"I'm nineteen," Rhiannon answered. "Old enough to be in the business, but still young enough to be considered a teen."

Rhiannon strutted up to Hiram, who had avoided eye contact with her the entire time.

"Aww, there's no need to be shy, sweetie," Rhiannon cooed. "I won't bite... unless you want me to."

Hiram's face turned bright red as he put his hood up and pulled the strings on his hoodie.

The next boat arrived with an Asian girl with rose-colored hair. She wore a white sundress and red-and-white sneakers. She staggered off the boat as she took in the sights around her.

"Hey, Wisdom," Chris greeted. "Excited to be here?"

"Who wouldn't be?" Wisdom asked neutrally. "Are we not all here of our own desire to be here?"

"Still not sure about this one," Roxie said as she gestured to Liberty.

"Did you consider that she may have been up all night in anticipation?" Wisdom asked. "Could it be that she's tired as a result of that?"

"She hasn't been awake long enough for anyone to ask, I don't think," Virgil mentioned.

"Besides, she's in her pajamas," Elmer noted.

"Aren't pajamas comfortable?" Wisdom asked. "Do we not wear them for that exact reason? Why not wear pajamas outside of bed?"

"I go to bed wearing nothing at all," Rhiannon pointed out.

"Hmm... could it be that sleeping nude is more comfortable?" Wisdom asked no one in particular. "Should I try it myself tonight?"

"Do whatever works for you, sweetie," Rhiannon winked.

"...Are you flirting with me?" Wisdom asked. "Why?"

"You're cute and thinking about sleeping nude," Rhiannon giggled. "Maybe you wouldn't mind me joining you."

"...Is that an innuendo?" Wisdom asked.

"Oh my goodness, she's precious," Rhiannon squealed.

Another boat arrived, this one with a black young man with black hair in a buzzcut. He wore a purple long-sleeved shirt, burgundy jeans, and dark green tennis shoes. He swallowed and cleared his throat before stepping onto the dock.

"Gotta make a good first impression," the boy muttered to himself.

"How's it going, Jim?" Chris asked.

"It's GREAT, HOW ARE YOU CHRIS?!" Jim responded enthusiastically.

"Uh... I'm fine," Chris said unsurely.

"Are you feeling alright?" Jeremy asked Jim. "You seem a bit on-edge."

"On-edge? Naw, I'm, I'm _peachy_ keen!" Jim said with a forced smile. "It shows, right? That I'm fine?"

"Totally!" Fred said without a hint of irony.

"Wanna smoke?" Roxie offered when Jim joined the rest of the campers. "Help you relax?"

"Smoking? Oh, god, no!" Jim gasped. "I need to remain a good influence on any future children I might have someday! Not soon! Just throwing that out there! My girlfriend is not pregnant and I am _not_ relying on this game to help support the kid!"

"Oh, whew, I was worried that might be the case," Virgil quipped.

"Deep breaths, man," Jeremy told Jim. "You'll do alright. Trust me."

"You're right... I can do this..." Jim said between deep breaths.

"Atta boy," Jeremy encouraged.

The next camper was an Indian girl with purple, shoulder-length hair which had a long cowlick. She wore a red button-up shirt which was unbuttoned and exposed a grey t-shirt underneath, a dark mocha skirt, black mary jane shoes, and calf-length grey socks.

"Ooh, what an interesting mix of side characters," the girl smiled.

"Did she just call us 'side characters'?" Wisdom asked Jim.

"I wonder who will be my rival. The main antagonist," the new girl mused. "Who may be my deuteragonist? My love interest, perhaps."

"I'm sorry, what's your name?" Elmer asked, confused.

"Oh, right," the girl cleared her throat. "My name is Gretchen. I'm just an ordinary high school girl who's found herself wrapped up in this weird game. Every day, we compete in smaller games, and the losers have to decide who among them should leave the game for good. The last one standing wins fame, glory, and one million dollars. The slightest mistake could cost me. This is my story... my Total Drama story..."

"Is she narrating her own intro?" Wisdom asked Jim.

"Why are you asking me?" Jim winced.

"Every good story needs a good protagonist," Gretchen explained. "This good story will have me. I look forward to seeing what roles the rest of you fall under, though."

"I'll be the winner, thank you," Ginger scoffed.

"Hmm, seems arrogant, but not so much so that she's likely to go early," Gretchen narrated. "Minor antagonist, probably not a huge threat to me."

"Excuse me?!" Ginger snapped. "How many artificial intelligences have _you_ programmed, kid?"

"Her skillset doesn't seem to be relevant to the game," Gretchen continued narrating. "Maybe she will go home early. Either way, I don't think I'll have to worry about her."

"Yeah, not after you get voted out first," Ginger muttered.

The next girl to set foot on the dock was an overweight Asian girl with black hair. She wore a brown dress shirt with a red neckerchief, a dark grey skirt, white loafers, and ankle-length black socks.

"Hey, guys!" the girl greeted sunnily. "Who wants to go first?"

"I'm not sure anybody wants to," Fred told her.

"Aw, why not?" the girl frowned. "It's super fun, I promise!"

"Have you... done it before?" Wisdom asked.

"Oh, tons of times!" the girl answered.

"I can relate," Rhiannon giggled.

"Really? You do caricatures, too?!" the new girl asked excitedly.

"Oh, no, I thought we were talking about something completely different," Rhiannon tittered.

"I don't know what you guys thought I meant. I'm Bunko," Bunko introduced. "I've been called the ultimate caricaturist."

"By whom?" Hildegard asked.

"Uh... some people," Bunko answered airily. "I don't remember. You want me to draw you?"

"I suppose a bout of amusement may be in order whilst we wait for the others to arrive," Hildegard smiled.

"It's a yes or no question," Bunko said as she tilted her head to the side.

"She seems absentminded, but chipper," Gretchen narrated. "Could be someone to keep an eye on."

"Are you going to do this with everyone?" Virgil asked Gretchen.

"Until we get access to the confessional," Gretchen answered.

The next boat arrived with a chubby red-haired boy with a dark brown newsie cap. He wore a black sweater with white stripes on the chest, khaki slacks, and black sneakers.

"Morning, Kirkland," Chris greeted.

"Morning," Kirkland responded.

Without another word, Kirkland joined the rest of the campers.

"Are you nervous, too, like so many of the others?" Wisdom asked.

"Eh. Not really," Kirkland answered.

"Not much of a talker?" Roxie figured.

"Not really," Kirkland answered.

"Cool. Me neither," Roxie said.

"Cool," Kirkland responded.

Silence.

"The taffy barrel ran low, eh Chris?" Virgil asked.

"I cast everyone for a reason," Chris assured him.

"Yeah! Everyone has the potential to do amazing things!" Jeremy added.

"But, uh, there can only be one protagonist," Gretchen reminded everyone.

"Are we not all the protagonist of our own story?" Wisdom mused.

"Nah," Kirkland answered. "I'm nothing special."

Silence.

"I'm done!" Bunko announced as she showed everyone her caricature of Hildegard.

"Fie! My nose reaches no such great size!" Hildegard objected.

"Looks right to me," Kirkland snickered.

"Aw, thanks," Bunko said with a wide smile.

A tall, muscular Arabic girl stepped onto the dock. Her long, black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore a goldenrod tank top, dark-salmon shorts, and periwinkle running shoes.

"I have to apologize in advance," the girl began. "I know you all came onto this show to win, but I'm afraid that is simply impossible."

"Challenges aren't everything," Elmer stated.

"You misunderstand," the girl said. "I am Shadya Aiyub. I have trained my body and mind from childhood in order to become the perfect human being. I know eight languages. I always finish first in each marathon I run. I have perfect scores in every class I have ever taken."

"Shadya Aiyub... I know you!" Jeremy realized. "You're the youngest person to ever climb Mount Everest on your own!"

"I know that name, too!" Ginger remembered. "You programmed that AI that's never lost a game of tic-tac-toe!"

"Both of these are correct," Shadya nodded. "Quite simply, I am human perfection. Victory is inevitable."

"Hm, she believes right out of the gate that there is zero chance of losing," Gretchen narrated. "Maybe she'll be my rival. Maybe even the main antagonist."

"Please. 'Rival' implies that you have a remote chance of comparing," Shayda stated.

"I may not have as many accomplishments as you, but you're forgetting one important thing," Gretchen said confidently. "Underdogs never lose."

"In that case, I must be the world's biggest underdog," Shadya remarked.

"No... she has to lose..." Jim muttered as he began trembling. "She _has_ to."

A caucasian girl skipped off her boat and onto the dock. Her neon green hair had streaks of blue and pink as well as a black bow hair-clip adorning it. She wore a purple tube top with a green logo on it, a black skirt, blue-and-pink striped thigh-high socks, black sneakers, and rubber bracelets of many colors on each arm.

"Rawr!" the girl shouted.

"Eep!" Hiram jumped.

"Oh, no worries," the girl giggled. "That means 'hello' in dinosaur."

"I didn't realize Hot Topic was capable of giving birth," Virgil remarked.

"Roflmao!" the girl responded. "My name's Tegan. This game is going to totally roxxorz!"

"Not anymore," Kirkland chimed in.

"Awww, how come?" Tegan pouted. "Does somebody got a case of da grumpies? Need hugs?"

"My Chemical Romance will never get back together," Kirkland stated.

Tegan burst into tears.

"Too soon!" she sobbed. "The Black Parade will always carry on!" She immediately stopped crying. "Okay, quiz time: Do you like waffles?"

"They're fine, but I prefer _syrup_ if you know what I mean," Rhiannon said as she licked her lips.

"Epic fail!" Tegan whined. "That's not how the video goes."

"It's how _my_ videos usually go," Rhiannon tittered.

"End me," Kirkland grumbled.

An overweight black boy with fluffy, dark-blue hair made his way onto the dock. He wore a tan-and-brown striped sweater, black shorts, and forest green sneakers.

"Big cast for a newbie cast," the boy noted. "Then again, the TDI cast was pretty big, and that's most people's favorite cast, though I'm still convinced that's originality bias."

"Pardon?" Shadya asked.

"Oh, right. Sorry," the boy apologized. "I'm Nestor. You might recognize me from my Total Drama blog, where I discuss all things Total Drama, from the show itself to the people who make the show what it is. I know what makes a good season and what makes a bad season, and I can assure you, I will not allow this to be a bad season."

"One thing any season needs is a good protagonist," Gretchen said. "At your service."

"Oh, honey," Nestor said patronizingly. "The protagonist is never the fan favorite, and never wins anyway."

"And who do _you_ think will win?" Gretchen huffed.

"If I had to guess... her," Nestor pointed to Roxie. "I can see it now. From asocial beginnings, she slowly comes out of her shell, makes friends, maybe even falls in love, and finds her passion and drive to win it all!"

"I can win without doing that," Roxie said as she narrowed her eyes behind her gas mask.

"Okay, but what kind of boring winner story would that be?" Nestor asked rhetorically.

"Exactly, which is why I should stay as the protagonist!" Gretchen added loudly.

"Does a good season entail her going home early?" Hildegard asked.

"Oh, for sure, sweetie," Nestor chuckled.

"Hey!" Gretchen objected.

An Asian boy with tidy brown hair and glasses stepped onto the dock. He wore a yellow polo shirt with a mint green tie, charcoal slacks, and black dress shoes.

"Um, hey, everyone," the boy started. "Um, my name is Kun, and, um, I am here to lead my team to victory."

"We don't have teams yet," Jim said. "At least not that I'm aware of."

"Um, well, you know, in the future, if we do," Kun said. "Um, but yeah, even if you aren't on my team, um, we can still chat, and, um, maybe I can help you out with whatever."

"Thy stammering betrays thee!" Hildegard accused. "Have you any confidence?"

"Um, well, I'm just trying to..." Kun began fidgeting. "Um, I will be leading my team, and, um, if you don't like it, then you can leave?"

"Is that a warning, or a question?" Shadya challenged.

"Um, well, you know, I just... please, just let me have this," Kun requested.

"He lacks confidence _and_ he's trying to be the leader," Gretchen narrated. "Nothing to worry about here."

"Honey, honey, honey," Nestor said as he shook his head. "Do the words 'character development' mean anything to you?"

"Stop trying to be relevant," Gretchen snipped.

"Kun! Truth or dare!" Tegan randomly shouted.

"Um... truth?" Kun responded tentatively.

"...I didn't think of a truth. Poop!" Tegan pouted.

"Um, I can help you think of some in case you want to play later?" Kun offered uncertainly.

"Woot!" Tegan cheered.

A thick caucasian girl with spiky brown hair had just arrived. She wore a black t-shirt, blue jeans, pink sneakers, and a rose gold heart pendant.

"Hey, Louise," Chris greeted.

"Hey, Chris," Louise acknowledged. "I'm ready to kick ass! When can I kick some ass?"

"Soon enough, Louise," Chris answered. "Only a couple more campers to introduce, and a bit of orientation first. Then you can kick as much ass as you want."

"Gah. I can't wait that long," Louise complained.

Louise scanned over the other campers before settling on Elmer.

"Wait, Elmer?!" Louise gasped.

"You two know each other?" Bunko asked.

"Yeah, we've met," Elmer admitted.

"'Met', my ass!" Louise said as she ran up to the boy and hugged him tightly. "We're dating!"

"Ooh, so _you're_ his girlfriend?" Rhiannon asked.

"He's mentioned me?" Louise asked. "Elmer, don't flatter me like that behind my back! Do it to my face, you big goof."

"Right," Elmer chuckled awkwardly.

"You don't sound that enthused to see her," Fred noted.

"It's not that!" Elmer insisted. "I'm just... so surprised by what's happening that it's stunned me to silence."

"Elmer, we talked about that," Louise frowned playfully. "You need to vocalize your feelings more, remember?"

"Right," Elmer said as he rubbed the back of his head.

The next boat arrived with a caucasian young man with shaggy blond hair and a soul patch. He wore a green jacket over a white tank top, blue jeans, and black flip-flops.

"I'm gonna have to apologize in advance," the boy began. "I know you all came onto this show to win, but I'm afraid that ain't happening."

"Didn't you basically say the exact same thing?" Wisdom asked Shadya.

"Yes," Shadya answered.

"What? Oh hell naw, that can't be," the boy denied. "You know why? Cuz I'm Steve Jenkins. Steve Jenkins is the original. Steve Jenkins is everyone's role model. Steve Jenkins is a way of life, G. Never forget. I'm Steve Jenkins."

"So who is he supposed to be?" Wisdom asked.

"I think it's Steve Jenkins," Bunko answered.

"Who's Steve Jenkins?" Wisdom asked.

"That guy," Bunko answered.

"Hey, I think y'all are ignoring the important thing here. And that's Steve Jenkins," Steve Jenkins frowned.

"What makes Steve Jenkins so great, exactly?" Rhiannon purred.

"Steve Jenkins is more than greatness," Steve Jenkins boasted. "Steve Jenkins is the answer and the question. The beginning and the end. Anyone on my team will be lucky to have me. You know why? Cuz I'm Steve Jenkins."

"Yeah, having an easy vote right out of the gate is pretty lucky," Kirkland smirked.

A petite black girl with wavy blonde hair stepped onto the dock. She wore an orange cardigan over a denim-colored romper as well as dark navy sandals.

"Hey there, Rowan," Chris greeted.

"Hey, Chris," Rowan smiled. "Hey, fellow campers. Who's ready to win?"

"That's the spirit!" Jeremy beamed.

"As the protagonist, this game is mine," Gretchen boasted.

"Um, not a chance, chica," Steve Jenkins said. "I'm winning this. You know why? Cuz I'm Steve Jenkins."

"You kids believe whatever you wish, but it won't save you from the inevitable reality of your loss," Shadya sighed.

"Wow, lots of confident players here," Rowan said, impressed. "I wonder which of you really will take it all."

"Not her," Nestor whispered as he pointed his eyes to Gretchen.

"I don't care what your made-up trends say, I'm winning!" Gretchen insisted.

"Not as long as me and Elmer are here," Louise grinned. "We're going to destroy this whole game together!"

"Ooh, a couple, I presume?" Rowan asked.

"The strongest power couple since Alejandro and Heather," Louise nodded.

"It looks like we have some strong competition," Rowan giggled to a number of campers who hadn't spoken up yet.

"Um, perhaps, but, um, anything can happen... right?" Kun figured.

"Maybe, but we'll have to work for it if we want to beat the strong players," Rowan pointed out.

"Do you think we can?" Hiram asked timidly.

"We can do anything we set our minds to!" Jeremy exclaimed.

"...I see," Hiram mumbled.

Rowan chuckled to herself as she joined the other campers.

A pale young man with messy brown hair that covered his eyes curiously stepped onto the dock. He wore a long-sleeved brown shirt, dark grey sweatpants, and grey sneakers.

"Where... am I?" the boy asked.

"I'll explain everything to everyone shortly," Chris assured him.

"...Okay..." the boy complied.

"Rawr!" Tegan greeted. "What's your name?"

"I... I can't remember," the boy admitted.

"Nice to meet you, Icantremember!" Bunko said cheerily.

"Did you hit your head on the way here?" Shadya deduced.

"My head doesn't particularly hurt..." the boy admitted. "I'm not sure what's going on, honestly."

"Well, if you don't remember your name, we'll still have to call you something," Nestor thought aloud.

"Should we call him Icant for short?" Bunko offered.

"How about Mark?" Elmer suggested. "Since he seems to be one big question mark."

"It's... It's as good a name as any," Mark agreed. "By the way, I know this whole... not remembering thing... might be kind of hard to deal with. If I ask stupid questions, I just ask that you please be patient."

"Chris, you know his name, right?" Louise inquired.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I know all about this kid," Chris confirmed. "But where would the fun be in telling you? Ahaha."

"It's less 'for fun' and more 'so I know what's going on'," Mark frowned.

"A mystery contestant. Always a polarizing concept in the fandom," Nestor noted. "I might have to vote him out early just to be on the safe side."

"Hey, narrating is my shtick!" Gretchen objected.

"Welp, I think that's everyone," Chris said. "If you'll all follow me to the campfire site, I'll explain to you all how this game is going to go."

Chris returned to land from the dock, and the campers all followed him, except for Liberty, who continued sleeping on the dock.

Hildegard returned to the dock.

"Hark! Slumbering child!" Hildegard shouted.

"Unnnnnnnnnnnh," Liberty moaned.

"It's time for Chris to explain the game to us," Hildegard informed her.

"I don't wanna..." Liberty whined.

"I did not give you an option," Hildegard stated as she lifted Liberty up and carried her bridal style to join the rest.

Chris led the campers to a small clearing in the forest which was lit with tiki torches. There was an unlit campfire pit in the center. There were six tree stumps in a semicircle around the campfire pit, upon which Ginger, Gretchen, Nestor, Rhiannon, Shadya, and Steve Jenkins all immediately sat. Off to the side was a wooden outhouse.

"Welcome, one and all, to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said grandly. "This is-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!" a voice called as a weedy young man ran onto the scene. "I... I made it...!" the boy panted.

"Oh. Right. Forgot about you," Chris said. "This is Dean."

Dean was a Caucasian boy with short black hair. He wore a white-and-blue striped shirt, olive shorts, and black sandals.

"Why so late, Dean?" Chris asked. "We almost started without you."

"I... I wasn't late," Dean said, confused. "My boat left at the exact time it was supposed to."

"Oh. Must have just forgotten about you," Chris shrugged.

"It happens," Dean sighed. "Often."

"Anyway, as I was _saying_..." Chris glared at Dean. "Total Drama Shuffle Party will work a bit differently from other seasons. As you may or may not know, this season will take place on the Tuhinga Islands. There are four islands, and every few eliminations, we'll move on to the next island. Each island will have its own twists that will change how you approach the game."

"What twists does this island have?!" Fred asked excitedly.

"Glad you asked, Fred," Chris grinned. "This is Whenua Island, an island of the earth's bounty and providence. So much so, that we decided that you will not get any cabins, dining hall, restrooms, or anything of the sort."

"Interesting," Rowan commented.

"That's bullroar!" Steve Jenkins complained. "I deserve nothing but the best. Cuz I'm Steve Jenkins!"

"Yes, you will have to forage for your own food, build your own shelter, and live off the land as best you can," Chris continued. "All this, on top of the regular Total Drama fare of challenges and eliminations."

"Sounds tough..." Hiram quivered.

"You guys should know to expect this kind of thing from this show," Chris chuckled.

"I take it that's the confessional booth over there?" Jim asked as he pointed to the outhouse.

"Indeed it is, Jim," Chris confirmed. "Actually, before I forget, why don't you guys go ahead and drop a quick one? Confessional, that is."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** It's pretty sweet being out here. I like to think I'm pretty laidback overall, don't really let things get to me. I won't say for sure that this game will be like taking candy from a baby... maybe candy from my mom's store. Seriously, the security measures there are ridiculous. I just wanted some licorice!

 **Liberty:** I just wanted to sleep in all summer... That's what summer is for... I don't care about making memories... _(She whines.)_

 **Jeremy:** I truly do believe that you can achieve anything with enough grit and determination. Mountain climbing is my achievement of choice, but Total Drama doesn't seem too far off so far. I've hiked enough trails to know what to do in an emergency, and right now, the lack of food and shelter is an emergency!

 **Roxie:** _(Her gas mask is off and she's smoking a cigarette.)_ Passion is stupid. It's just nothing but cringey. I do not need it... I'm still here to win. Make no mistake of that, 'kay? This game will be mine.

 **Ginger:** I am almost always the smartest person in any given room. I actually have built a fully-functioning robot before. And imagine how much more advanced I could get if I had the funds from winning this game. That's the carrot at the end of the stick for me, here.

 **Fred:** _(He is facing the wall.)_ People always tell me that they feel sorry for me because I'm blind. I don't get why. I'm proud of being blind! It honestly doesn't really affect me. I can still win this game in spite of it.

 **Hiram:** I've never been away from my mommy for this long, but she insisted that I do this so I could be more independent. I didn't want to, but Mommy knows best, so... here goes? I'm not going to lie, I'm really scared.

 **Hildegard:** Growing up, it was always the same things. "Fantasy Nerd", "Goody Two Shoes", "not girly enough". These are titles I wear with pride! These are titles that shall guide me through the treacherous dungeon that is Total Drama Shuffle Party! My holy lance shall assist as well.

 **Elmer:** Yeah, Louise and I are dating. This is actually the first time we've met in real life. We met online. We both applied for the show, and I honestly didn't think we'd both get accepted. As happy as I am to see her, I wish she didn't tell the others about our relationship. I don't want either of us to get targeted for it.

 **Rhiannon:** I'm just _dripping_ with anticipation for this game. I didn't think I'd be allowed on, but nineteen years old is still legal. _(She winks.)_ I'm going for the "cute and harmless" angle here. If it works for my videos, it should work here, right? _(She giggles.)_

 **Wisdom:** Am I likely to win? Am I likely to last long? Why do I overthink things? Don't I realize that it doesn't get me anywhere? Will I ever break this habit? Will it cost me this very game? Am I taking too long in here? Should I let the next person go?

 **Jim:** _(He sighs.)_ Yeah. What I said before is true. I got my girlfriend pregnant. I've tried getting a job, but every time I've applied for one, it's been a bust. Not that my parents would let me drop out of school anyway. So I need this prize money. I'm just... Anything could go wrong, and I could lose the game in an instant. That _terrifies_ me.

 **Gretchen:** I don't know who the rest of these losers think they are, but I am the protagonist of this story. I will be the main character that everyone loves, and I will be the winner. It's as simple as that. My first goal right out of the gate is to vote out anyone who thinks they can challenge me for that title.

 **Bunko:** I don't think you need strategy to win. Lots of winners on this show have gotten by by being friendly and getting along with others. And I love being friendly and getting along with others! Drawing caricatures for people is fun, too. I wonder if I can get pictures of everyone before the season is over.

 **Kirkland:** Yeah, not really a spotlight kind of guy. Might just stay under the radar and leave the drama to everyone else.

 **Shadya:** I simply do not fail, because I do not allow myself to. I have not trained my body, mind, and spirit relentlessly so that I can accept anything less than perfection. The other twenty-three could all band together at once, and still not stand a sliver of a chance. Simple as that.

 **Tegan:** Lawl, this bunch seems so random! I can tell this is going to be fun! We can stay up all night on energy drinks and give our testimonials on how Hayley Williams has touched our lives. I really want bacon cupcakes. Roflcopter!

 **Nestor:** So far this cast seems... very okay. We'll see how things branch out. Not a lot of people stand out as potential strategic masterminds, so I might have the edge here. I'm a student of the game, and honey, I know a thing or two about what strategies work and what strategies don't.

 **Kun:** Um, so my parents told me that they expected me to be a strong and charismatic leader here, but, um, I'm not really sure I'm qualified? My parents expect a lot out of me, and, um... they're going to see this, aren't they? I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. Um, I'm still going to try my best.

 **Louise:** Elmer and I met online, and we've been talking about getting together in real life for a while, but meeting on Total Drama is somehow even better than a fancy date! We both love Total Drama, and I'm ready to destroy the competition in the name of love!

 **Steve Jenkins:** I don't think the others know who they're dealing with here. I'm Steve Jenkins. I'm not to be messed with, and not to be trifled with. And I'll prove it once the game happens. They'll truly know what it means to be in the presence of Steve Jenkins.

 **Rowan:** See, the key to getting by in this game is to make sure there's always a bigger target than you. So you might catch me... persuading the others that such and such a person is too big a detriment to let stay, or too big a threat to keep around. Whatever lets me stick around.

 **Mark:** So, from what I've gathered, we're in a competition for a million dollars, where someone leaves the game permanently every day or so. Interesting. I can see why I might have signed up for this kind of game. I can't remember my own name, but I know this sounds enjoyable. But... why have I forgotten so much...?

 **Dean:** I get picked on a lot. It happens. I've learned to accept it... for the most part. It still gets to me sometimes, but letting myself stay down isn't going to help me any. So I'm going to win this game and prove to myself and others that I'm not just some lame kid. I'm a lame kid who won Total Drama! Er, wait...

* * *

As Dean exited the confessional booth, Chris resumed explaining the game.

"You might get called in to give confessionals once or twice a day. This is also where you'll be casting votes at the elimination ceremony," Chris continued.

"When do we get split into teams?" Louise asked excitedly.

"I was just about to get into that," Chris answered. "And this, campers, is your first challenge! Hidden around Whenua Island are four empty campsites. You'll know you've found one by the big round Total Drama Shuffle Party rug we've placed there. Your job is to find one. Once six campers have settled on a campsite, that campsite is full, and that will be your team. Once you've made it to a campsite, you cannot leave it unless that campsite is full. And as an incentive for getting to your campsites quickly, I will offer rewards to the first three teams to fill up. The first team will receive tools for building a shelter, a box of granola bars, and an advantage in our first Invincibility challenge. The second team will receive the tools and the granola bars. The third team, just tools. The last team to fill out will earn nothing."

"Um, sounds like good incentive," Kun noted.

"Glad to hear it. Because your challenge starts... NOW!" Chris announced.

The campers immediately ran out of the campfire site.

* * *

Louise immediately pulled Elmer aside.

"I can't wait for us to take this game by storm!" Louise cheered.

"Uh, yeah," Elmer responded. "Look, Louise, I-"

"Alright, guys, where are we going?" Gretchen asked.

"Huh?" Elmer asked.

"Obviously both members of the alpha couple are destined to make the merge," Gretchen explained. "And so does their close friend. I'll be the LeShawna to your Gwen and Trent. The Cameron to your Mike and Zoey. The... uh... Sky to your Shawn and Jasmine?"

"I like the sound of that," Louise smiled.

"Wasn't Samey the friend to Shawn and Jasmine?" Elmer pointed out.

"Don't recall asking you," Gretchen dismissed.

Elmer sighed. "Fine. Let's go."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I was about to explain to Louise that we should be on different teams, so that when we merge, we'll have allies from multiple teams, and that'll give us much more of a foothold in a circumstance where we'll probably be targeted for being a couple. I love Louise, so much, and I don't want either of us to go home early because of that. Gretchen... I'll trust her for now, but I don't expect us to be best friends like she seems to.

* * *

Shadya had already begun running through the forest to search for a campsite. Jeremy and Ginger caught up with her.

"Shadya!" Ginger greeted. "Mind if we tag along?"

"We're big fans," Jeremy beamed. "It'd be cool if we were on a team together."

"How on Earth are you keeping up with me?" Shadya asked Ginger. "Him, I understand, but you're small and scrawny."

"I don't tire easily," Ginger boasted. "Helpful for those long nights of programming and engineering."

"Very well," Shadya agreed. "I could use people like you on my team. You may feel free to join me."

"Awesome! Thanks so much!" Jeremy beamed.

"So, uh, do you know where we're going?" Ginger asked.

"That big tree," Shadya pointed to a giant oak tree in the distance. "I am positive that there is a campsite near it."

"Great call, Shadya," Jeremy said with a thumbs-up. "I was just thinking the same thing."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Ginger and Jeremy both seem to understand the mental and physical heights I have reached. If they wish to assist me in my eventual win, who am I to deny them? If they stay truly loyal, I may let them take 2nd and 3rd place.

* * *

Hildegard held Liberty's hand as she made her way through the island.

"Let gooooooooo," Liberty whined.

"Nay!" Hildegard objected. "You will only return to thy slumber if I do."

"...Yes," Liberty said.

"Being on this show is a great honor," Hildegard frowned. "Why squander such a blessing?"

"I don't wanna," Liberty pouted.

"Pray, how didst thou come to be among the chosen few against thine own will?" Hildegard inquired.

"I thought this was one of those games where you live in a nice house and don't have to try that hard," Liberty explained.

"So you are interested in the game?" Hildegard asked.

Liberty had already fallen asleep.

"Are you-?" Hildegard winced. "Awaken, child of slumber!"

"No," Liberty pouted.

Hildegard groaned as she continued to pull a sleeping Liberty along.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** The sleeping girl... I can't recall her name, but her essence of sloth is an insult to those who would be here in her stead! Indeed, I have had mine own applications rejected in the past, so to see such an opportunity wasted, I can't but scoff at such ignorance.

* * *

"Yeah, let's go!" Fred cheered as he ran through the forest, eventually running face-first into a tree. "AUGH! Am, am I bleeding?"

Fred felt his face for wounds when Roxie slowly approached him.

"Maybe don't run around in a forest when you can't see?" Roxie suggested.

"Being blind is nothing," Fred insisted. "I can get by."

"Evidently not," Roxie tsked. She removed her gas mask, put a cigarette in her mouth, and lit it. "Follow the smell of my smoke."

"Don't patronize me. I know what I'm doing," Fred said defiantly.

Roxie walked off without a word.

"Did you leave?" Fred asked. "Hey! Get back here!"

Fred sniffed the air for smoke and ended up following the smell until he was able to catch up to Roxie.

"So you do need me," Roxie commented.

"I do not!" Fred insisted.

"Then why did you follow me?" Roxie asked.

"You don't think I can get by because I'm blind, huh?" Fred challenged. "Well, I'm going to show you!"

"By following me?" Roxie droned.

"If we stick together, we'll be on the same team, right?" Fred asked. "I'll prove myself then!"

"If you say so," Roxie said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** Fred is just bizarre. Ignorant of his blindness. He's going to get hurt... It's not that I care. He's blind in more ways than one. Can't stand to see it.

* * *

Hiram tentatively approached Mark.

"Hey, so..." Hiram began. "I'm not going to lie, I don't have any idea what I'm doing. But neither do you, right? Want to stick together?"

"Wouldn't it make more sense to stick with someone who does know what they're doing?" Mark asked.

"You're right," Hiram sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, guys!" Bunko greeted. "Want to look for a campsite together?"

"Do you know what you're doing?" Mark asked.

"Probably," Bunko answered.

"It's better than the two of us going alone," Hiram told Mark.

"Perhaps," Mark conceded.

The three went off in search of a campsite.

"...Remind me of your names?" Mark requested

"Whoa, you really are forgetful!" Bunko gasped. "I'm Bunko!"

"H-Hiram," Hiram introduced.

"Hm. I wonder if my real name is as uncommon," Mark mused.

"I can help you try and remember," Bunko offered with a smile.

"I'm not sure I'll be of much help, but I'd be happy with being friends with you guys... if that's alright," Hiram added.

"Of course!" Bunko beamed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I'm glad that those two are willing to help, but how do they plan on going about it? I don't even know how I _lost_ my memory, let alone how I can get it back...

* * *

Kun approached Nestor and Rowan.

"Um, how would the two of you like to accompany me?" Kun offered. "Um, the two of you seem to understand the ins and outs of Total Drama, so, um, I think we could, um, make a good team."

"Honey, please," Nestor responded. "I'm a slut for flattery. Keep going."

"Oh, um..." Kun responded, taken aback. "You said you ran a Total Drama blog, right? I bet you know what it'd take to win, right?"

"I bet he does," Rowan added. "You'd best watch out for him."

"I try," Nestor said in faux-modesty. "Alright, honey, you win. Let's team up."

"Um, okay, good," Kun said with a small smile. "Now, um, where do you guys figure a campsite might be?"

"Hmm, knowing Chris, probably somewhere super out-of-the-way," Nestor figured. "Somewhere dangerous that probably doesn't have anything we can actually live off of."

"Um, that does make sense," Kun agreed. "Um, is there anywhere we can see that fits that description?"

"Is that a mountain over there?" Rowan pointed off to the distance.

"Ooh, looks like it," Nestor agreed. "Good call, honey."

"Oh, anyone could have seen it," Rowan dismissed.

"Alright, um, let's head out then," Kun suggested.

"Let's!" Nestor said readily.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** Note to self: keep good suggestions to a minimum. If I look _too_ smart, people might notice, and that could mean a target on my back later on down the line. You can never be too careful. _(She winks at the camera.)_

* * *

Wisdom wandered aimlessly when Rhiannon approached her.

"Hey, sweetie," Rhiannon greeted. "You lost?"

"Does anyone truly know where they are going?" Wisdom mused. "Does anyone know this island better than anyone else? Are we not all lost?"

"You've got me there," Rhiannon giggled. "Want me to come with?"

"If you wish to accompany me, who am I to say no?" Wisdom figured. "Do you still intend to sleep with me?"

"Oh, that?" Rhiannon asked. "I mean, if you want to, I certainly won't complain, but I respect your boundaries if you don't."

"Why don't we stick with being friends?" Wisdom suggested flatly. "Have you seen any of the others? Do you know where they might have gone?"

"Can't say I did, sorry," Rhiannon admitted. "I think the boys are embarrassed to be around me."

"Why?" Wisdom asked.

"That's right, you weren't there for my introduction, were you?" Rhiannon remembered. "I'm an... adult film actress. I think any boy who wants to work with me might be labeled a pervert. It happens more often than you'd think."

"Outside of work, I presume? Outside of the game?" Wisdom asked.

"...So, what are your hobbies, Wisdom?" Rhiannon asked.

"Why are you changing the subject?" Wisdom asked.

"I don't want to talk about that," Rhiannon said.

"Then why did you bring it up?" Wisdom asked.

"Can we just drop it?" Rhiannon asked testily.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** At first I thought Wisdom's whole little airhead shtick was cute, but now I'm just wondering if she genuinely just doesn't understand social cues. I'm not sure if I want to stick around with her.

* * *

"Alright, deep breaths," Jim muttered to himself as he paced back and forth. "Find an ally. Someone you can go far with. Someone you can trust."

"You alright, man?" Virgil asked. "Want some gum?"

"GUM?!" Jim asked. He took a deep breath. "Gum would be nice, thank you."

"What flavor?" Virgil asked.

"What flavors do you have?" Jim asked.

"All of them," Virgil answered simply.

"Cinnamon?" Jim requested.

"Take the pack, honestly," Virgil said as he gave Jim a fresh pack of gum.

"Want to go to the final two together?" Jim immediately offered.

Silence.

"Sure, why not?" Virgil shrugged.

"Thanks," Jim said with a sigh of relief. "Sorry, I'm kind of on-edge."

"Eh, I get it," Virgil said casually. "Low key I'm kind of nervous, too."

"Really? It doesn't show," Jim commented.

"I have all this candy on me for a reason," Virgil said as he opened a bag of gummies and began eating it.

"Is candy therapy a thing?" Jim asked.

"Probably not," Virgil said. "But it makes me happy, so it's, like, whatever."

"Well, in any case, I'm grateful for the gum," Jim smiled as he began chewing a piece. "To the final two!"

"Hell yeah," Virgil smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jim:** I definitely came on too strong to Virgil, but he didn't seem to mind that much? Hopefully? Either way, I could definitely take a hint from him as far as hiding my emotions goes. It's never been a strong suit of mine.

* * *

Kirkland had silently broken off from the campers and went exploring the island on his own.

"No sense in overplaying right out of the gate," Kirkland told himself. "I'll make friends after I'm already on a team."

"Rawr!" Tegan roared from right behind him.

"Christ on a unicycle!" Kirkland shouted. "Where the hell did you come from?"

"Well, you see, when a mommy and a daddy love each other veeeeeeeeery much..." Tegan giggled.

"Can you bother literally anyone else?" Kirkland chided.

"But Kirkland, friendship is magic!" Tegan giggled.

"So is the fact that you haven't been arrested for harassment yet," Kirkland remarked.

"Hey Kirkland. Hey, hey, hey, hey Kirkland," Tegan goaded. "Kirkland. Kirky dirky dirkland. Kirkitty Dirkitty Hirkitty Burkitty Shirkland."

" _What_?" Kirkland asked through his teeth.

"Tacos!" Tegan laughed.

"What about them?!" Kirkland shouted.

"Tacos are teh awesomes!" Tegan beamed. "Hey, did you know 'tacocat' spelled backwards is still 'tacocat'?"

"Did you know that the autism rate in children is increasing?" Kirkland retorted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kirkland:** Tegan is proof that hell is real, because I am already there.

* * *

"Guys, come on!" Steve Jenkins objected. "How come no one wants to team up with me?!"

"I'm still here," Dean pointed out.

"Literally anyone at all?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"No one picked me either," Dean repeated. "We could still-"

"Don't make me go by myself!" Steve Jenkins whined. "You can't do that to me! I'm Steve Jenkins!"

Dean sighed as he went off on his own.

"Man, you know what, screw this!" Steve Jenkins shouted. "I'm Steve Jenkins! I don't need help from _anyone_. I can win this all on my own!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** I mean, yeah, I knew what's-his-face was there, but let's be real, dude seemed like a total lamer. I'm Steve Jenkins, I can't be associated with lamers.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dean searched through the forest on his lonesome.

"Can't say I'm surprised nobody wanted to search with me," Dean sighed. "But I'm still here to win this. They can ignore me, or count me out, or whatever. But the game's not over until it's over. And this game has only just begun."

* * *

Chris stood at the campfire site.

"The campers have set off!" Chris said to the camera. "They've formed groups already, but will those groups be able to stick together? Who will win the rewards, and who will be left in the dust? Will any new friendships emerge? Any new rivalries? It's an all-new season with all-new possibilities, dear viewers, and I, for one, am excited to see how it all turns out! So stay tuned, dear viewers, to Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"


	2. Only Because You Pritheed

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the dock. "In our last episode, we met the twenty-four teenagers who would soon begin their journey for a sweet cash prize. From the porn star to the energetic blind kid, the mountain climber to the scene girl, to the self-proclaimed protagonist and the guy who lost his memory, it's certainly an interesting bunch. The campers have split off on their search for a campsite. Once six campers reach a campsite, their team will be established, and being fast to establish a team means sweet rewards, baby! Who will get a foothold in the game, and who will ultimately struggle? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Elmer, Gretchen, and Louise found themselves in a craggy part of the island.

"I just can't believe I finally get to hold you," Louise swooned as she linked arms with Elmer. "I've been dreaming about this for so long."

"Me too," Elmer smiled. He glanced at Gretchen. "Maybe we should wait until our DAs are less P, though."

"Oh, sorry Gretchen," Louise apologized.

"No, please, by all means," Gretchen smiled. "Nobody wants a protagonist who takes _all_ the screentime from her best-friends-slash-foils. Besides, my love interest arc will take off soon enough."

"Insisting you're the protagonist won't make you the protagonist by default," Elmer pointed out. "Actions speak louder than words, they say."

"Who do you think your love interest will be?" Louise blurted excitedly.

"Well, Elmer, Jim, and Nestor are right out," Gretchen listed. "Elmer and Jim are taken, and Nestor obviously isn't interested, if you catch my drift."

"Well, we've got all season to find out," Louise said confidently.

"Until then, let's focus on the challenge," Elmer suggested.

"Aw, come on, Elmer, aren't you curious to know who Gretchen might end up with?" Louise asked.

"No, I'm very curious to know who would date Gretchen," Elmer said. "But I'm also very curious to know what being on the winning team might be like. We're here to play, aren't we?"

"Ooh, good point!" Louise agreed. "We can discuss this later. Let's go, Gretchen!" she urged as she ran off ahead, with Elmer following behind.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** Elmer's right. Above all else, I'm here to win! Total Drama is one of our favorite shows, and we both want to do well. Can't do that if I'm getting distracted. It's a bad habit of mine.

* * *

Ginger, Jeremy, and Shadya had all arrived at the giant oak tree.

"Does anyone see the campsite rug?" Ginger asked.

"Not yet," Jeremy denied. "It's got to be around here somewhere."

"Hey, where'd Shadya go?" Ginger asked.

"I'm back," Shadya informed the two as she ran up to them.

"Where were you?" Jeremy asked.

"I ran a lap around the tree," Shadya informed them. "There was not a rug to be seen. We should continue our search elsewhere."

"What a rip," Ginger spat. "We were totally onto something."

"We'll just have to continue searching," Shadya stated matter-of-factly.

"There's a mountain over there!" Jeremy mentioned as he pointed to a mountain not too far from where the trio stood. "My home turf. What say we go check it out?"

"Works for me," Shadya nodded.

"Hell yeah!" Jeremy beamed as he began his dash towards the monument in question.

Shadya wordlessly followed him, catching up to Jeremy with ease.

"H-Hey! Wait up!" Ginger cried as she sprinted up to the two.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** Having camp on a mountain would be more than ideal for me. I climb mountains every weekend, so I should know the ins and outs of the area. With my help, there's nothing my team won't be able to accomplish!

* * *

Hildegard continued to carry Liberty with her through the island when she ran into Rhiannon and Wisdom.

"Good day!" Hildegard greeted.

"Heyyyyy," Rhiannon winked.

"Have you had any luck in finding a campsite?" Wisdom asked.

"Nay, none such," Hildegard said with a shake of her head. "And thee?"

"If we had, would we be here now?" Wisdom asked.

"In that case, why didst thou ask me?" Hildegard scoffed.

"What's wrong with attempting conversation?" Wisdom winced.

"Thou art mocking me for responding in the manner same as thee!" Hildegard scowled.

Liberty began to stir in Hildegard's arms.

"How long has she been out?" Rhiannon asked.

"Too long," Hildegard sighed. "I will ensure that she and I are on the same team, that I may whip her into shape."

"Why join a game that you intend to sleep through?" Wisdom wondered. "Why play when you have no intent to play?"

"I have asked her myself, to nary a result," Hildegard grumbled.

"Want to travel together?" Rhiannon offered.

"Perhaps," Hildegard answered firmly. "What have thee to add to my roundtable?"

"Sex appeal?" Rhiannon answered. "It'll keep the boys on the other team distracted, and the boys on our team motivated."

"Would that were of any use," Hildegard said as she shook her head.

"So you'll let Sleeping Beauty here on your team, but not me?" Rhiannon pouted.

"Er..." Hildegard began. "Fine. Thou may accompany me, but take care to not get in my way."

"Is that an African swallow?" Wisdom asked as she looked at a bird in a tree. "Aren't they non-migratory?"

Wisdom approached closer, only for the bird to fly away.

"Why are birds so afraid of humans?" Wisdom wondered. "Then again, wouldn't a human fear any creature that much larger than it? What do you girls think?"

Wisdom turned around to find Hildegard, Liberty, and Rhiannon had already gone off.

"Girls? Where did you go?" Wisdom asked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Hehe... I wonder if Hilde would let me borrow her spear sometime? Just in case. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

* * *

Fred continued to follow the smell of Roxie's cigarette.

"I can't tell. Are you even old enough to smoke?" Fred asked.

"Has that ever stopped anyone?" Roxie retorted.

"Good point," Fred nodded. "I hate when people think they can tell others what they can't do when they think others can."

"You get that a lot, huh?" Roxie figured.

"So much!" Fred confirmed. "Being blind does not mean I'm not capable of doing anything a seeing person can."

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Roxie remarked.

Fred felt around for a bit before taking hold of both of her hands, which hadn't been held up in the first place.

"Zero," Fred answered.

"Fair enough," Roxie shrugged.

"See, I can get by," Fred insisted as he let go of her.

"Could you find your way to a campsite without me?" Roxie questioned.

"Of course!" Fred grinned.

"Because it looked to me like you were running face-first into trees without my help," Roxie remarked.

"That's, uh, all part of the learning experience," Fred stated. "Just getting the lay of the land."

Roxie shrugged. "Whatever you say," she said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fred:** People like Roxie are nothing new to me. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them I can do anything a seeing person can.

* * *

Bunko, Hiram, and Mark found themselves by a rockier part of the forest.

"How pretty," Bunko said in awe. "I wish I could draw nature sometimes and not just goofy pictures of people."

"I liked your picture of Hildegard," Hiram complimented.

"Who's Hildegard?" Bunko asked curiously.

"The... girl you drew a caricature for," Hiram answered unsurely.

"Ohhhhhhh, yeah, that would make sense," Bunko nodded. "I'm gonna draw you guys when we find a campsite."

"This is a televised event, right?" Mark asked.

"Yeah," Hiram confirmed.

"And this is not the first iteration of the game?" Mark continued.

"Nope," Hiram denied.

"Have either of you watched previous airings of the game?" Mark asked.

"Of course!" Bunko smiled.

"Yeah, why?" Hiram responded.

"I was wondering if you knew anything about past trends that we might be able to take advantage of," Mark thought aloud. "Anything that might serve as a clue to where a campsite might be."

"Well, this is the first time these islands have been used," Hiram explained. "So that might be difficult."

"I see," Mark acknowledged. "If I had to venture a guess, and correct me if I'm wrong, but if I were in charge, I'd place the campsites as far away from each other as possible, in order to prevent people from wandering into another team's campsite."

"That would make sense," Bunko agreed.

"I'm thinking they're likely on four corners of the island," Mark continued. "We just need to figure out where those corners are."

Hiram opened his mouth for a second before timidly closing it and looking to the side.

"Is something on your mind?" Mark asked.

"I was just going to suggest something really obvious," Hiram said. "That we go around the edges of the island until we find something."

"That sounds like a great idea!" Bunko encouraged.

"Agreed," Mark agreed with a faint smile. "Let's get as close to the edge of the island as we can and circle the perimeter."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** Hiram and Mark both seem really smart! I hope we get to be on the same team together.

* * *

Kun, Nestor, and Rowan continued on their way to the mountain.

"So, Nestor, you run a Total Drama blog, you mentioned?" Rowan inquired.

"I do," Nestor said proudly. "I've reviewed each and every episode of the show in-depth, written essays on each contestant and their respective performance in each season, and accumulated thousands of followers, including some past contestants of the show. Not to brag."

"Um, wow," Kun responded. "I've just, um, been watching for the past few seasons."

"I've been a fan ever since the very first episode," Nestor boasted. "I was hooked from day one, so actually getting to be here? Lordy, it's a dream come true."

"It is kind of surreal, isn't it?" Rowan agreed. "So, Kun, you said you planned on leading your team?"

"Um, that's right," Kun confirmed. "If I'm to take over my father's company, I should, um, have some sort of leadership skills. So, um, my parents told me that they expect me to use this game as, um, practice."

"What kind of company is it?" Rowan asked.

"Pencils," Kun answered. "Wood pencils, mostly."

"I didn't know people still used wood pencils," Nestor said.

"They do!" Kun insisted. "Um, in fact, the graphite in wood pencils doesn't break as easily as in mechanical pencils. That's a fact."

"What about you, Rowan? What's your story?" Nestor asked.

"Oh, me?" Rowan asked modestly. "Not much to speak of."

"Come on, honey. No way would they have let you join if you didn't have _something_ ," Nestor said savvily. "Then again, they let Zoey join, so who knows?"

"Well I should hope they saw more in me than just being cute," Rowan huffed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Rowan's definitely got more to her than she's letting on. Potential villain with good publicity a la Alejandro? Maybe. But she's definitely downplaying her own smarts, and honey, I am _not_ underestimating her.

* * *

Dean continued to wander through the woods.

"I wonder if anyone has found a campsite yet," Dean thought aloud. "I can't be the last one to find one. Chris would probably just direct me to the only empty one. ...Okay, no, he probably wouldn't."

Dean shouted as he lost his footing and nearly tripped over a root.

"Ahhh!" Dean shouted.

"Are you alright?" a voice asked.

Dean looked up to see Wisdom looking at him curiously.

"I've had worse," Dean said as rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"You didn't?" Wisdom asked.

"I was the last one to arrive," Dean reminded her.

"You were the boy we almost started the game without, right?" Wisdom asked.

"Yeah, that's... that's me," Dean chuckled uncomfortably.

"Where are you headed?" Wisdom asked.

"I'm just kind of searching for a campsite," Dean shrugged. "There's no real objective direction here."

"May I join you?" Wisdom asked.

"You wouldn't mind?" Dean asked. "Coming with me, I mean."

"Should I?" Wisdom asked.

"Most people would," Dean explained. "But, uh, if you want to come with me, then yeah, I could use the company. Thanks."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** That girl with the pink hair... she never did tell me her name, now that I think about it... if she wants to be my friend, then I'm definitely on board with that. She seems a bit out there, but friends are not something to take for granted.

* * *

Jim and Virgil continued on their way through the island.

"So, what's your girlfriend like?" Virgil asked.

"Probably really stressed," Jim said in a slight panic.

"I mean, you're probably not wrong, but I was thinking outside of the whole teen pregnancy thing," Virgil said.

"Right," Jim said. "Her name's Sapphire. She's kind of quiet when you first meet her, but when you get to know her, she's the sweetest thing. She loves to draw. I swear I've seen her go through like five sketchbooks in the year we've been dating."

"She sounds cute," Virgil nodded.

"Impossibly cute," Jim agreed. "What about you? Any girlfriend to speak of?"

"Nah," Virgil denied. "Haven't really found anyone I want to commit to."

"It's the best feeling," Jim smiled.

"Oh, no, I don't doubt that," Virgil said. "I just haven't found anyone."

"Well hey, if we get the chance, maybe I'll help you out," Jim offered. "Of course, our top priority will be doing whatever it takes to win the game."

"Of course," Virgil said. "If I wanted someone that badly, I wouldn't have signed up for a game where you have to backstab your friends."

"Aptly put," Jim figured. "Er, you don't _plan_ on backstabbing me, do you?"

"Not if I have no reason to," Virgil said nonchalantly.

"...Right," Jim responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Jimmy Beans... He seems like a trustworthy guy. I can't promise him final two this early on, but we'll see how things play out. He seems to trust me, and you definitely want people who trust you to stick around.

* * *

Kirkland ran as fast as he could as Tegan chased him.

" _Everything is awesoooooooooooome!_ " Tegan sang. " _Everything is cool when you're part of a team!_ "

"Lord, is it too late to repent of the things that I have done to deserve this?" Kirkland muttered a prayer.

Kirkland began wheezing as he propped himself up against a tree for support.

"Getting tired already?" Tegan asked as she caught up. "Would glomps make you feel better?!"

"I don't know what that is, but I can say with confidence that they will not make me feel better," Kirkland grumbled.

Before Tegan could explain what "glomps" were, she took notice of someone jogging past.

"Hey, Steve Jenkins!" Tegan shouted as she waved to him.

Steve Jenkins stopped as he took notice of the other two teens. "Hey, 'sup!" he answered. "Have you guys found anything?"

"Nooooooooooooot YET!" Tegan answered. "How about you? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Uh, no," Steve Jenkins winced.

"Whaw whaw whawwwwwwwwwww," Tegan responded.

"Uh, hey, Tegan? What's that shiny thing over there?" Kirkland asked.

"Shinies?! I like shinies!" Tegan bubbled as she ran off into the direction Kirkland pointed.

"Book it," Kirkland told Steve Jenkins once Tegan was out of earshot. The two boys ran away from where Tegan went as quickly as they could.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tegan:** Turns out the shinies was just the sun. And I ended up losing my new bestie Kirkland! I must finds him!

* * *

Ginger, Jeremy, and Shadya arrived at the base of the mountain.

"I don't see a campsite here, either," Ginger pointed out.

"No, but there seems to be a path leading up the mountain," Jeremy noted as he approached an incline. "I've got a good feeling about this!"

"I get the sense that you have a good feeling about everything," Ginger remarked.

"...Not _everything_ ," Jeremy mumbled.

"We're wasting time," Shadya stated. "Let's check the top of the mountain for a campsite."

With that, Shadya began jogging up the incline.

"Onward!" Jeremy cheered as he followed after her.

"Ah, geez," Ginger grumbled as she followed after the two.

Shadya made short work of the mountain trail and eventually reached a plateau at the very top, which was adorned with a large circular rug which read "Total Drama Shuffle Party".

"And, as expected, I am the first of anyone to arrive," Shadya stated.

"Congratulations, Shadya, on being the first camper to find a campsite!" Chris announced on a megaphone from high up in a helicopter. "And since you were the first to find your campsite, you get to pick your team's name!"

"My team will be called The Best Team," Shadya stated simply. "Because that is exactly what it is."

In the top corner of the screen, a golden emblem with a #1 design on it appeared.

"Nice job, Shadya!" Jeremy complimented as he joined her at the mountaintop.

"Not only the first on my team but the first overall to find a campsite," Shadya nodded. "A satisfactory outcome."

"Are you sure you're not a robot?" Ginger asked as she joined the two.

"I trained myself relentlessly to reach the potential that I have attained," Shadya leered. "To insinuate that I was built with such skill from the outset is an affront to my hard work."

"I'm just saying, you could afford to talk more like an actual person," Ginger shrugged.

"Hey now, let's not fight," Jeremy mediated. "We're the first three to make it to a campsite, and we're going to be on a team together! That's something to celebrate!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Yeah, Shadya's done some amazing things, but she's so cold, so stoic. It's almost like she's only here out of obligation or something, not because she wants to be.

* * *

Elmer, Gretchen, and Louise continued on their way through the island.

"Are we lost?" Louise asked. "I feel like we're lost."

"We're not lost!" Gretchen said proudly. "We're just biding time so that I don't seem too skilled at the game. Being overpowered is such a turn off when it comes to protagonists."

"The implication being that you know exactly where to find a campsite and just won't tell us," Elmer sighed.

"The protagonist is the good guy, right?" Louise asked. "So Gretchen wouldn't do that."

"The protagonist is the main character, not necessarily the good guy," Elmer explained. "Larry is the protagonist of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', but you'd be hard-pressed to call him the good guy."

"What do you see in this guy again?" Gretchen asked Louise.

"He's so smart and cute, and he understands me so well," Louise swooned. She wrapped her arms around her boyfriend as they continued walking. "Hey. I love you."

"I love you too," Elmer smiled as he gave his girlfriend a kiss on the forehead.

Gretchen shot the couple an annoyed look when she was sure they couldn't see it. "So, anyway, you were saying about me not being a good person?" she asked Elmer.

"That's not what I meant to imply," Elmer said. "Simply that the concepts of 'protagonist' and 'good person' are not one and the same.

"Yeah, well, no one likes a know-it-all," Gretchen dismissed.

"No one likes an attention hog either," Elmer whispered to Louise, who giggled in response.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I'm starting to really hate those two. I will do everything in my power to make sure they're not the alpha couple of the season.

* * *

Hildegard, Liberty, and Rhiannon had found a small river coming from a waterfall which ran off a rock face.

"Can we take a break?" Rhiannon asked.

"I do believe that this dame has done so from the start," Hildegard grumbled as she eyed Liberty, who still rested in her arms.

"I'm all for sleeping around, but this is ridiculous," Rhiannon purred.

"I warrant you, however," Hildegard agreed as she set Liberty down by the rock face. "Though she may be small, to carry someone on foot whilst adorned in armor is no easy task."

As the paladin set Liberty down, she noticed an opening in the rock face behind the waterfall.

"Soft!" Hildegard exclaimed. "I believe I have found a cave!"

"Behind the waterfall?" Rhiannon asked. "There's definitely a cave where my waterfalls come from."

"Cease thy perverted quips," Hildegard grimaced. "I prithee, keep an eye on Liberty whilst I investigate."

"Well, only because you pritheed," Rhiannon joked.

Hildegard entered the cave, which was lit only by the sunlight coming in from the other side of the waterfall. The cave was very small, and, to Hildegard's surprise, had a large, round Total Drama Shuffle Party rug.

"Behold, Rhiannon!" Hildegard called. "I have discovered a campsite!"

"Congratulations, Hildegard, on being the first to find the second campsite!" Chris's voice announced. "As a reward, you get to pick the team name!"

"Can we be the Sultry Sex Kittens?" Rhiannon asked as she entered the cave, Liberty in her arms.

"Nay, and there an end," Hildegard scoffed. "My team shall be christened the Knights of Goodness!"

In the top corner of the screen, a blue emblem with a sword-and-shield design appeared.

"I just hope others can find this campsite as easily," Hildegard mentioned. "I'd be loath for our team to miss a reward."

"I'll keep an eye out from outside," Rhiannon winked. "You rest those pretty legs up."

"Er, Gramercy," Hildegard thanked awkwardly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** I wish you'd stop making me do these... Ugh... I don't like my team very much.

* * *

Fred and Roxie had wandered to a sandier part of the island.

"Where are we going?" Fred asked. "The ground feels a lot less sturdy."

"I think it's the beach," Roxie answered. "I'm just kind of going wherever."

"What kind of plan is that?" Fred accused.

"You're the one who chose to follow me," Roxie retorted.

"You're the one who offered," Fred retorted back.

"Look, nobody knows where they're going," Roxie stated. "It's been about half an hour and only two of the campsites have even been found."

"Man, screw this," Fred decided. "I'mma run ahead!"

Indeed, Fred ran off ahead of Roxie, towards the coastline.

"Don't drown," Roxie called after him half-heartedly.

"I know how to swim!" Fred called behind himself.

Fred immediately tripped on a piece of driftwood and fell face-first into the sand.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** Fred is a huge pain... Part of me wants to ditch him... But that'd mean trouble. He'd tell the others... I would never live it down... They would vote me out.

* * *

Bunko, Hiram, and Mark continued searching around the perimeter of the island.

"So, do you guys have any hobbies?" Mark asked the two.

"I like to draw caricatures, remember?" Bunko grinned.

"Nothing beyond that?" Mark asked.

"Nothing major. Why do you ask?" Bunko asked.

"Just curious," Mark said. "What about you, Hiram?"

"N-Nothing, really," Hiram stuttered.

"Wow. That's so profound," Bunko said in awe.

"It is?" Mark asked.

"What about you, Mark?" Bunko asked. "What are your hobbies?"

"I can't remember," Mark reminded her with a resigned chuckle.

"Oh. Right," Bunko said as she rapped herself on the head. "Ooh! I should go through a list and see if it jogs your memory!"

"Do you think that'll work?" Hiram asked unsurely.

"We won't know unless we try!" Bunko said with determination. "Is it caricatures? Is it nothing?"

"Not ringing any bells," Mark admitted. "Wait a second... is that one of those big rugs that guy was talking about?"

Mark pointed off towards a part of the beach that did, indeed, have a Total Drama Shuffle Party rug on it.

"Yay!" Bunko cheered as she ran for the rug. Mark and Hiram followed suit.

Bunko arrived at the rug first, with Mark and Hiram shortly after.

"Congratulations, Bunko! You're the first to arrive at our third campsite!" Chris announced on his megaphone. "And yep, you guessed it, you get to choose the team name!"

"Neat!" Bunko chirped. "How about Team... I don't know."

"Well, you've got time to think of-" Hiram started.

In the top corner of the screen, a dull green emblem with a question mark design appeared.

"Did... you just name us Team I Don't Know?" Hiram asked.

"I didn't mean to! Promise!" Bunko cried.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hiram:** I like to think that Bunko and Mark are my friends. I haven't really had a lot of friends aside from my mommy, so I can't say for sure, but I'm going to stick close to them, no matter what.

* * *

Kun, Nestor, and Rowan continued on their way.

"Looks like we're almost there," Nestor noted. "What are the odds that this is the last campsite that no one has found yet?"

"One in four," Kun answered.

"Oh, he... he actually answered," Nestor pointed out.

Just then, the three heard a high-pitched scream from a short ways behind them.

"What could that be?" Rowan asked.

"It, um, sounds like someone's in trouble!" Kun gasped. "I should, um, go investigate."

Kun ran off towards the direction of the scream.

"Kun! Wait! I see some people up on top of the mountain!" Nestor called.

Kun ignored Nestor's information and continued to run.

"He'll be back," Rowan assured Nestor. "Let's secure our places in a team."

"Good call," Nestor agreed as the two made their way up the mountain path. Rowan's eye twitched slightly.

The two made it to the top of the mountain, where Ginger, Jeremy, and Shadya sat on the rug.

"Heyyyy!" Nestor winked at his new teammates.

"Hey, guys," Jeremy greeted. "Welcome to The Best Team."

"Is that actually what you called us?" Nestor chuckled to Shadya.

"I stand by it," Shadya stated. "Any team with me on it is by default the strongest team."

"Even with the shortie and the fattie on it?" Ginger muttered to Shadya.

"Any doubts you may have towards my strength will be proven null as soon as we are permitted to leave the campsite," Shadya told her.

"We can't leave yet?" Rowan asked.

"Naw, not until six of us show up and the team is finalized," Jeremy explained. "Which stinks. We're itching to get started on building a shelter and getting a fire burning."

"We have a third guy, actually. He should be here soon," Nestor informed them.

"Why isn't he here now?" Ginger asked impatiently.

"He got... sidetracked," Rowan answered.

"I see..." Shayda said as her eyebrows furrowed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** If our team fills out before any of the other teams, we'll get a bunch of great rewards for it. Any advantage we can take will definitely be put to good use, so I hope this last guy shows up soon.

* * *

Kun ran back into the forest to where he had heard the scream.

"Hello?" Kun called.

"H-Hewwo?" a voice asked from the side.

Kun turned his head to see Tegan up in one of the trees, hugging a branch for dear life.

"Do you, um, need help getting down?" Kun asked.

"Yes please," Tegan squeaked.

Kun waked up below the branch and held his arms out.

"Okay, um, I'm ready to catch you, as soon as you're ready to drop," Kun said unsurely.

"Are you sure that's safe?" Tegan asked.

"I, um, promise I won't let you get hurt," Kun said.

Tegan fell down on top of Kun, sending him crashing to the ground with her sitting on top of him.

"Awesomes! You broke my fall!" Tegan beamed.

"And my spine..." Kun moaned from under her.

Tegan hopped off of Kun.

"Say, did you see my bestie, Kirkland?" Tegan asked. "I was in teh trees so I could find him maybes."

"Sorry, you're the first person I've seen since, um, Nestor and Rowan," Kun answered as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Which reminds me, I should, um, be going."

"I'm coming with you!" Tegan decided. "We will be teh epic duo!"

"Um, alright," Kun said unsurely. "Let's see... which... direction did I come from...?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Um, I can't be a good leader if I don't help others out, right? That's what leaders are for, right? Helping others achieve a common goal?

* * *

Jim and Virgil made their way through a different part of the forest.

"There are supposed to be four teams, right?" Jim asked. "Chris said teams of six, and there are twenty-four of us."

"I think you just answered your own question," Virgil remarked.

"Because there have only been three announcements regarding someone being the first one to find a campsite," Jim continued. "So there's one team that hasn't even begun yet."

"Amazing how logic works, isn't it?" Virgil quipped.

"I'm just trying to piece things together in my head," Jim explained. "There's a lot running through my mind right now. I can't let any detail go unrecognized."

"The game hasn't even really started yet," Virgil assured him. "I don't think you have anything to worry about right now."

"There's a common saying in games like this," Jim began. "'The moment you feel safe is the moment you've lost.' Just because the politics of the game aren't in place yet doesn't mean the game hasn't started."

"I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, but I think I found the last campsite," Virgil said as he walked towards a small clearing in the forest, which was indeed adorned with a Total Drama Shuffle Party rug.

"Congratulations, Virgil, on being the first to locate the last campsite!" Chris's voice announced as the sweet-toothed boy set foot on the rug. "Of course, you get to pick the team name for doing so!"

"No kidding?" Virgil smirked as he stuck a lollipop in his mouth. "Mmm, this is a good one. I love cherry. Deep, luscious cherry..."

Jim stood awkwardly on the rug as Virgil lost himself in the lollipop's flavor. He cleared his throat.

"Oh, uh, right. Team name," Virgil said as he broke his trance. "Screw it. This team will be the Luscious Lollipops."

In the top corner of the screen, a pink emblem with a lollipop design appeared.

"Want one to commemorate?" Virgil offered Jim as he held an unwrapped lolly up.

"I'm good. The gum should be enough sugar for me," Jim declined.

"'Enough sugar'. Whatever you say," Virgil chortled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jim:** Having an ally on my team right out of the gate is good, but one won't be enough. I'm not sure who all has found a team, except for Shadya, Hildegard, and Bunko. That leaves nineteen other potential people to join the Luscious Lollipops. I'll need to make a list of everyone so I can keep track of this easier.

* * *

Fred and Roxie continued their way through the beach.

"Is there anything that looks like a campsite around here?" Fred asked.

"Not that I can see from here," Roxie answered. "What, your blindness superpowers couldn't clue you in on that?"

"Har har har," Fred droned. "Just because I can do anything a seeing person can, doesn't mean I have superpowers. I'm not Daredevil."

"Whatever," Roxie sighed. "Wait a minute, I think I see some people."

"Really? Who?" Fred asked.

"I can't tell from here. There's three of them," Roxie explained.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Fred beamed before running off towards the people.

"Hey, guys!" Fred called as he ran up to the three, who turned out to be Bunko, Hiram, and Mark.

"Hey, you two!" Bunko greeted.

"Looks like our team is almost finished," Roxie commented as she joined the group. She discarded her cigarette but and put her gas mask back on.

"Seems like it," Mark nodded. "At this rate, we may very well get first prize."

"That'd be nice," Hiram added quietly.

"So, who all is here?" Fred asked.

"I'm Bunko, and here we have Hiram and the guy who can't remember his name so we just call him Mark!" Bunko explained.

"Alright. I'll have to get acquainted with you guys' voices and stuff, but five people shouldn't be tough to remember," Fred nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** From what I understand, this game consists mostly of athletic tasks that will determine whether or not your team will end up losing a member. No one on my team seems very athletic, so I'm hoping our last member is able to provide. Logically, the more the team loses the athletic tasks, the more at-risk my friends and I are of losing the game altogether. Unless I'm missing something, which I very well could be.

* * *

Kirkland and Steve Jenkins had continued on their way through the island.

"Man, I can't believe all the team names were already claimed," Steve Jenkins griped. "I was going to call mine 'Team Steve Jenkins'."

"Bet it took you all day to come up with that one," Kirkland gibed.

"Naw, it just, like, _came_ to me," Steve Jenkins boasted. "What would you have called your team if you got to name it?"

"I honestly have no idea," Kirkland answered.

"See, that's why I'm so great," Steve Jenkins grinned. "I came prepared. You always gotta come prepared, bro. That's the Steve Jenkins way."

"Are you prepared for that?" Kirkland asked as he pointed to the mountain ahead of them, which had people at the top.

"You know it," Steve Jenkins affirmed. "I'm Steve Jenkins. No measly mountain is enough to stop me."

"Well, it's a team," Kirkland decided.

"Hell yeah!" Steve Jenkins resounded as he dashed up the mountain path.

Kirkland sighed before following Steve Jenkins, albeit much less quickly.

Before long, Steve Jenkins arrived at the top of the mountain.

"Congrats, guys! You get to share a team with the one, the only, Steve Jenkins!" Steve Jenkins grinned.

"And that's six!" Chris announced on his megaphone. "The Best Team, consisting of Shadya, Jeremy, Ginger, Nestor, Rowan, and Steve Jenkins, is the first team to be completed! They will receive tools for building a shelter, a box of granola bars, and an advantage in the next challenge!"

"Ugh, seriously?" Kirkland grumbled from halfway up the mountain trail. He turned around made his way back down.

"Wait, we're seriously called 'The Best Team'?" Steve Jenkins beamed. "Now that's a name I can get behind. We _are_ the best team! You know why? Because this team's got Steve Jenkins."

"My salvation," Ginger droned. "Does this mean we can start working on setting up camp?"

"Wait for our rewards to be delivered," Shadya said. "You'll need them."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Our team's definitely got some muscle, and it looks like we've got some nerds for if we have to do a puzzle or something. I think my team's pretty much unstoppable. Not surprising, because, you know, I'm Steve Jenkins, but still.

* * *

Dean and Wisdom continued on their way through the woods.

"Isn't it weird how well trees grow without a gardener to attend to them?" Wisdom mused.

"I, uh, I hadn't really thought about it, but I guess that's true," Dean agreed.

"Why is it that so many plants die even when attended to, but so many plants out in the wild are able to do so well?" Wisdom continued.

"I guess it's a habitat thing," Dean figured. "Gardens aren't really a natural habitat for any sort of plant."

"How does that make sense?" Wisdom asked. "Isn't the very point of gardens to serve as a habitat for plants?"

"I... don't know. I'm not an expert," Dean sighed. "Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Wisdom asked.

"Force of habit, I guess," Dean answered. "Hold on, I think I see people."

"Where?" Wisdom asked.

"Over here, come on!" Dean encouraged.

Dean and Wisdom had found the Luscious Lollipops campsite.

"Oh, uh, hey guys," Jim greeted awkwardly.

"Hey," Dean greeted back. "So... this is our team, huh?"

"We still need two more people," Virgil pointed out. "So, no, this is not our team yet."

"Well... I mean... yeah, you're right," Dean said defeatedly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** _(She stares blankly at nothing in particular.)_ If it's not yet a team, then why does it have a name?

* * *

Kun and Tegan had left the forest, only to find themselves in a rockier part of the island.

"Um, yeah, it seems like we lost Nestor and Rowan," Kun admitted.

"I thought we were looking for Kirklaaaand," Tegan pouted.

"Well, yeah, um, him too," Kun agreed. "I don't think I've, um, been in this part of the island."

"This is actually where I lost him!" Tegan realized. "He must be around heres. He MUST."

"Well, hopefully, he didn't get too far," Kun thought aloud. "We were quite a ways away from here at the start. He could, um, be somewhere completely different, assuming he didn't find a campsite over here."

"You think there's a campsite over heres?" Tegan asked curiously.

"There could be," Kun figured. "All of them have been found, so if we, um, find someone else, a campsite might not be far off."

"We should ask whatsername over there!" Tegan suggested as she pointed to Rhiannon, who leaned against a rock wall, right next to a waterfall.

"Hey, you two!" Rhiannon called. "There's a campsite behind the waterfall over here!"

" _Behind_ the waterfall?" Kun asked.

"Kiiiiiiiiiirklaaaaaaaaaaand!" Tegan cried as she ran right through the waterfall and into the cave behind it.

"Fie!" Hildegard scolded. "For what reason does such loudness come?"

"Is Kirkland here?" Tegan asked.

"Doesn't look like he is," Kun noted as he entered.

"Well that suxxorz," Tegan griped.

"Maybe he'll, um, turn up soon and be the last member of our team," Kun suggested.

"I hope someone arrives soon," Hildegard half-agreed. "I would like our team to earn _some_ rewards."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** In thinking about it, this may be the worst possible place to set up camp. True, we have protection from the elements, but a fire would only fill the cave with smoke, and being hard to find may mean no rewards for us.

* * *

Elmer, Louise, and Gretchen found themselves in the forest.

"I hope we find a campsite soon," Elmer thought aloud. "No matter what, we'll be at a disadvantage against Shadya's team in the next challenge, so any rewards we can get would help immensely."

"Agreed," Gretchen nodded. "We can't be the best right out of the gate, otherwise I won't have any arc of self-improvement, but not being last would also be nice."

"We'll definitely find someplace soon," Louise said with confidence. "We've been searching for hours. Something's got to come up soon."

Out of the corner of her eye, Gretchen saw the Luscious Lollipops campsite. With a smirk, she grabbed Louise by the wrist and ran towards the site.

"Hey! Gretchen! What's up?" Louise gasped.

"Louise!" Elmer called as he ran after the girls.

Gretchen and Louise arrived on the rug a second before Elmer did.

"The second team has been filled out!" Chris announced over the island. "The Luscious Lollipops, consisting of Virgil, Jim, Dean, Wisdom, Gretchen, and Louise, has been completed! They will receive tools for building shelter and a box of granola bars."

"Shoot..." Elmer grimaced. "Well, Louise, best of luck out there."

"...Wait, what?!" Louise gasped. "No way am I leaving you!"

"I don't think you can leave now that team's been locked in," Dean piped up. "Chris said-"

"No one asked you, Dean!" Louise snapped. "Elmer..."

"I'll be fine," Elmer assured her. "And hey, I know you're a tough girl. Kick ass, okay?"

Elmer gave Louise a kiss before leaving the campsite. The campsite was silent after his departure.

"...What kind of granola bars do you think we'll get?" Wisdom asked nobody in particular.

"I hope it's the s'mores kind," Virgil grinned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** That worked out _perfectly_. Elmer and Louise will be on different teams, meaning no chance of them taking up too much of my screen time. What a happy coincidence! _(She smiles innocently.)_

* * *

Kirkland wandered the island on his own.

"Two teams filled up, huh?" he asked himself. "Shoot, I'd better pick up the pace."

* * *

Elmer, meanwhile, began searching for a campsite on his own.

"Both unfinished teams have at least been started," Elmer told himself. "There's a very real chance that they're both waiting on their last member. Where could they be, though?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Louise and myself ending up on different teams works out. She's a black belt in karate, and she's one of the coolest people I know, so I know she's not going to be in any danger of going home early. I'm not really strong or cool, but I know the game, and I'm hoping that will get me by.

* * *

Rhiannon, still by the cave entrance, noticed one young man passing by.

"Hey! We still have a spot open if you want to join!" Rhiannon called.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Yeah, at this point, I'll take it," Kirkland agreed as he followed Rhiannon inside the cave.

"Hey guys, I found one more for our sixsome~" Rhiannon announced.

"Kind of dark in here, isn't it?" Kirkland asked as he stepped onto the rug.

"Is that Kirkland?!" Tegan asked excitedly.

"Oh god no," Kirkland grumbled.

"Our third team has been filled out!" Chris announced. "The Knights of Goodness, consisting of Hildegard, Liberty, Rhiannon, Tegan, Kun, and Kirkland, will receive a set of tools for building a shelter!"

"I'm sure we can, um, find a use for those," Kun told his team.

"That means that, by default, everyone who has not yet found a team will end up on the last place team!" Chris announced. "And by 'everyone', I mean just Elmer! Hahaha. Follow the helicopter, dude. I'll lead you to your campsite."

"Though we have not emerged in the most favorable position, a lesser victory is a victory nonetheless," Hildegard told her team. "We shall take this in stride and use it to pick up momentum for a yet greater win!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kirkland:** So yeah, just about the only plus to being on a team with Tegan is that I can vote her off personally. The others, I have no strong feelings towards. I'll figure something out.

* * *

Elmer followed Chris's helicopter to the Team I Don't Know campsite.

"Hey guys," Elmer greeted. "Sorry, I'm late. I take personal responsibility for our last place."

"Think nothing of it!" Bunko said sunnily.

"And with that, our last team has been completed!" Chris announced as he flew back to the center of the island. "Team I Don't Know, consisting of Bunko, Mark, Hiram, Fred, Roxie, and Elmer. They will receive no reward whatsoever!"

"Good! I don't want any special treatment," Fred insisted.

"Chris mentioned building shelter. That's probably a good idea," Mark brought up.

"Since the teams are now formed, you are free to leave your campsite as necessary!" Chris announced. "Just try not to get lost!"

"Well, there we go," Mark said. "I think we should still try and get materials for potential shelter."

"L-Like what?" Hiram asked.

"A giant sand castle!" Bunko suggested.

"It won't hold," Roxie said bluntly.

"Thick branches and big leaves are probably our best bet," Elmer said.

"Good call," Mark agreed. "Let's go with the buddy system and go out in pairs."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I don't remember anything about who I am, but I think I'm starting to get an idea as time goes on. I've kind of fit myself into a leadership role with Bunko and Hiram, and so far no one else has really objected to that. I think I'll stick it out for now and see where it takes me. It might jog my memory, who knows?

* * *

With Chris's announcement of dismissal and the rewards granted to the winning teams, each team had decided to begin work on constructing shelter and split up accordingly. Jeremy and Rowan were one group for The Best Team, searching for building materials down in the forest, axes in hand.

"This is great, isn't it?" Jeremy beamed. "A mountain campsite is _perfect_ for me! I love hiking, so this works out amazingly."

"I trust you'll make an effective team leader," Rowan smiled.

"Oh, me? No way," Jeremy chuckled. "Not that I don't think I'm qualified, but, well, Shadya's definitely got the one-up on me."

"You think so?" Rowan asked. "What makes you say that?"

"Haven't you heard of her before?" Jeremy asked. "Shadya Aiyub. Climbed Mount Everest. Programmed an AI that's never lost a game of tic-tac-toe. And that's just what Ginger and I know about her. Knowing her, she could have done even more."

"No kidding?" Rowan asked. "Do you think she has what it takes to win it all?"

"I believe we all have what it takes!" Jeremy declared.

"Perhaps, but from what you're saying, Shadya seems like a real contender to win," Rowan pointed out.

"Oh, undoubtedly," Jeremy agreed. "It's an honor to be able to play alongside her."

"What do you think of the rest of our team so far?" Rowan inquired.

"I think we have the potential to do amazing things!" Jeremy beamed.

Rowan glanced at the camera in disbelief.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** So Jeremy's kind of thick. I guess all his stock went into beauty and brawn. I'm not sure he's going to catch on to any subtle little nuances I might throw his way. That could be a problem.

 **Jeremy:** I firmly believe that anybody can accomplish anything that they set their mind to. I train my body every day for my eventual Mount Olympus climb. Anyone, with enough passion, can win this game, be it Shadya, or even that sleepy girl.

* * *

Ginger and Nestor stayed at the campsite and attempted to get a fire started. They had set a circle of rocks in the middle of the plateau and had gathered branches and leaves for tinder.

"So, how do they expect us to ignite this?" Ginger asked.

"With our glasses?" Nestor joked.

"Come on, we have to have flint or something in here," Ginger griped as she rummaged through the box of tools.

"Oh! Duh!" Nestor remembered. "Tree sap."

"Pardon?" Ginger asked.

"Season 1, Episode 8," Nestor recalled. "Izzy used tree sap as a firestarter."

"I've never seen this show before," Ginger said. "How does tree sap start fires?"

"Only one way to find out, honey," Nestor said as he stood up. "Want to help me find some?"

"Might as well," Ginger figured reluctantly.

"Word of advice, honey?" Nestor offered. "Unless you want to go home early, you might not want to seem so annoyed at the basics of it."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Ginger scoffed. "You just sit on your ass and memorize useless trivia about a TV show. I'm on the brink of a breakthrough in AI technology. Don't patronize me. _Honey_."

"Oof. Savage," Nestor smiled. "Come on. Let's find that tree sap."

Nestor went back down the mountain trail. Ginger rolled her eyes before following him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Nestor thinks he's smarter than everyone else because he's weirdly obsessed with this show. Tch. Whatever. If anyone here's going home early, it's him.

 **Nestor:** My team would be foolish to ignore my advice. I know Total Drama like the back of Duncan's hand. I know what it'll take for us to get ahead. I'm not infallible, nobody is, but this team could definitely take advantage of my expertise.

* * *

Shadya and Steve Jenkins had gone into the forest to collect materials for the shelter. They, too, had axes with them.

"So, you're supposed to be kind of a big deal, huh?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"I am the strongest and smartest contestant in this game," Shadya said matter-of-factly. "These skills will lead me to win the game. If that makes me a 'big deal', then yes, I would be 'kind of a big deal'."

"If you say so, fam," Steve Jenkins chuckled. "Just keep one thing in mind: I'm Steve Jenkins. If anyone's going to win, it's me."

"I see. Your sense of humor should help with team morale," Shadya responded.

"Hell yeah it will," Steve Jenkins grinned.

"Your physical strength does not go unnoticed," Shadya stated. "But we already have Jeremy and me. You'll have to bring more than just that."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Steve Jenkins apologized. "I guess I wasn't clear before. That's my bad. I'mma lay it out real nice and clear for you: I'm Steve Jenkins. What more could I possibly bring?"

"Actual results?" Shadya suggested. "Proclaiming your own greatness does not equal greatness. What have you accomplished that makes being Steve Jenkins such a boon?"

"Man, you are just not getting it," Steve Jenkins laughed. "Look me in the eyes, Shady."

"Don't call me 'Shady'," Shadya instructed.

"You see this?" Steve Jenkins pointed to his eyes. "These are the eyes of the one, the only, Steve Jenkins. You may not get it, but everyone else does. You're going to have to get with the program, you feel me?"

Shadya walked up to the nearest tree and, with a few swings of her ax, felled the wooden column. It landed inches away from Steve Jenkins, causing the blond to jump.

"Timber," Shadya said dryly. "Help me carry this back to camp."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** People like Steve Jenkins are the exact kind of people I can't stand. People who believe that respect is a right, not a privilege. I do not plan on losing any challenges, but that will make putting up with him... tricky.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Yeah, I'm definitely feeling some sexual tension with Shady. I'll give it some time before I do her the honor of taking things any farther, though. I'm Steve Jenkins. I can't be won so easily.

* * *

Dean and Gretchen were on fire duty at the Luscious Lollipop camp while the others had split up.

"Let's see, we're going to need something combustible, and something to actually light the fire..." Dean thought aloud.

"Want to contribute something my three-year-old sister doesn't already know?" Gretchen chuckled.

"Uh!" Dean flinched. "Maybe... digging a little into the ground and setting rocks around the indent to keep the fire contained?"

"Cool. You do that, I'll collect firewood," Gretchen told him.

"Alright," Dean agreed. "Wait, isn't that what the others are-?"

Gretchen had already left.

"This is going to be harder than I thought," Dean sighed.

Dean took a trowel from the box of tools his team had received and began digging.

Gretchen, meanwhile, found a berry bush and began snacking on the berries.

"Why does Dean have to exude such an aura of loser-ness?" Gretchen thought aloud. "At least I found berries. So now I can provide for my team."

Gretchen removed her button-up shirt and used it as a pouch to carry several berries back to camp.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** If there's one thing this show has taught me, it's that the protagonist really only has to do the bare minimum to get by, as long as she's cute and relatable. Which I am.

 **Dean:** I've got the fire pit started, but no idea how to ignite it once we do get firewood. Does rubbing sticks together actually work? Might be worth a try.

* * *

Jim and Louise had gone out to get materials for shelter.

"So, that guy you were with is your boyfriend?" Jim inquired.

"Yep!" Louise confirmed. "This game is our first time meeting in person." Louise's face fell. "That kiss he gave me before he left... that was our first kiss."

"If it makes you feel any better, my girlfriend is back home," Jim told her. "I feel _awful_ for leaving her behind, but I'm playing this game for her sake. I just need to keep reminding myself of that."

"Awwwww," Louise cooed. "If me or Elmer don't win, I hope you do."

"I appreciate that," Jim smiled.

"What do you think of our team?" Louise inquired. "I was the last one to show up, so I haven't gotten to know you all yet."

"Our team is something, alright," Jim chuckled. "Between you and me, I feel like the two of us will be doing a lot of the heavy lifting."

"I'm okay with that," Louise said readily.

"You were with that girl with purple hair, too, right?" Jim asked. "Gretchen, I think? What's she like?"

"Oh, Gretchen's cool," Louise smiled. "I can tell she's a big fan of the show, too. So, what's your girlfriend like?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jim:** Louise is a friendly girl. I think she's someone I could work with long-term. Very optimistic, too. I'm not sure I could come up with such a positive description of Gretchen if I tried. But the game could use some optimism, I think.

 **Louise:** Being on a different team than Elmer kind of sucks, but I think I'm making friends on this team already. I think I can stick it out until we get to the next island. Maybe I'll be reunited with him there.

* * *

Virgil and Wisdom headed out to search for food.

"Our selection of granola bars was very disappointing," Virgil griped.

"What kinds of granola bars did we get?" Wisdom asked.

"Nothing sweet. Just basic nuts-and-fruit-type stuff," Virgil sighed.

"Isn't fruit sweet?" Wisdom pointed out.

"Not as sweet as chocolate chips or marshmallows," Virgil smirked. "Good thing I brought a bunch of candy myself."

"You really like sweets, huh?" Wisdom mentioned.

"Love 'em," Virgil nodded. "What about you, Strawberry? You like sweets?"

"...Strawberry?" Wisdom asked as she cocked her head to the side.

"Your hair reminds me of strawberry candy," Virgil shrugged.

"Why is strawberry candy pink, instead of red?" Wisdom wondered as she absentmindedly played with her hair.

"Some of it's red, but red is usually reserved for cherry," Virgil explained. "Cherry is a really popular flavor, so it's more likely to show up than strawberry."

"Did you dye your hair to match your love of orange-flavored candy?" Wisdom asked.

"Huh? Oh, naw, I just thought it looked cool," Virgil answered. "My favorite flavor is actually pineapple, but I could not pull off pineapple-yellow hair. What about you? Why'd you dye your hair pink?"

"Why not?" Wisdom figured. "Why do you ask? Does it not look good?"

"Naw, it looks fine, I was just curious," Virgil said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I don't know, Strawberry's not a bad girl, but she's kind of weird. Not a great conversationalist, that's for sure. Not that I'm one to talk, but Strawberry's just kind of tough to talk to, if that makes any sense.

 **Wisdom:** Is he going to keep calling me Strawberry? Do you think that suits me?

* * *

Kirkland and Rhiannon had gone to collect food for the Knights of Goodness.

"So, you and Tegan, huh?" Rhiannon teased.

"I don't think I've disliked anyone more in my life," Kirkland said flatly. "It's probably forward of me to even ask, but would you consider voting her out if we lose?"

"Oh, I'm _used_ to forward," Rhiannon purred. "We'll see."

"Fair enough," Kirkland figured. "So, you're a real porn star, huh?"

"That's right," Rhiannon winked. "Really young girls like me tend to get a lot of airplay, too. There's always a market for barely-legal babes. Surely you've seen me in action before."

"Yeah, I'm not really comfortable sharing those kinds of things with a complete stranger," Kirkland said.

"There's no shame in it. Everyone watches porn," Rhiannon told him.

"Even if I have seen you before, I don't remember," Kirkland said. "How often do people really remember the names of whoever's in some random video they'll happen upon?"

"...I see," Rhiannon muttered. "You'll look me up when you get home, though, right?"

"If you promise to stop talking about porn with me in the future," Kirkland answered.

"Aww, you're no fun," Rhiannon pouted playfully.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kirkland:** I have little tolerance for over-the-top people in general, so of course I end up on a team with the porn star, the fantasy cosplayer, and Tegan. Good grief.

 **Rhiannon:** I don't understand why everyone is so hesitant to talk about sex. It's a perfectly natural and beautiful thing. It's the reason we all came into this world, isn't it? Such a shame.

* * *

Hildegard and Tegan went out to find food as well.

"I wish they had muffins in the wild," Tegan frowned. "I loves teh muffins!"

"Alas, though this island displays the bounty of nature, I've yet to see any sort of grains which may be turned into muffins," Hildegard commented. "What is thy stance on meat? I've seen a few wild animals that may be our next dinner."

"Does that mean BACON?!" Tegan asked excitedly. "Bacon is teh most awesome food evers!"

"Actually, I have seen a wild pig or two," Hildegard mentioned. "Go to, we may yet dine on bacon."

"Woot!" Tegan cheered. "Where did you find them? Let's go a-huntin'!"

"Soft, I cannot claim to know where they are at this moment," Hildegard said.

"Then let's make like Dora and get explorin'!" Tegan suggested.

"E'en so," Hildegard agreed. "Art thou squeamish? Know that killing an animal is messy."

"I'm not squeamish at all," Tegan said proudly. "Horror is my favoritest genre."

"Good now, I shall remember to bring you when hunting," Hildegard decided. "I get the feeling that the others on our team might not be so keen."

"Epic!" Tegan cheered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Tut, the Knights of Goodness seem an overall weak party. When little Tegan is the most qualified to join in me in hunting, that is a problem! I shall whip my whole team into shape in the coming days!

 **Tegan:** This game is hella epic! I get to make my own BACON! I can't wait!

* * *

Kun was at work making a fire pit on his own. He set it up just outside the cave, a few feet away from the river.

"I really should give Liberty a stern talking-to once she's, um, awake," Kun told himself. "Sleeping while everyone else is hard at work is just, um, not going to fly."

Liberty exited the cave.

"Oh! Liberty!" Kun called. "Glad to see you're, um, awake."

"Geez," Liberty huffed. "I thought everyone had left."

"Everyone but us. I'm working on the fire," Kun explained. "Um, Liberty, I understand that this game isn't easy, but, um, sleeping while everyone else is working, well, it's not, uh, you see..."

"I don't care," Liberty leered. "I'm going out on my own."

"Um, well, see to it that you bring tinder for the fire," Kun instructed.

"Maybe," Liberty dismissed before leaving.

Kun sighed as he continued setting the fire pit up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** If I'm going to, um, lead this team, I'm going to need everyone to, um, respect my authority, and whatnot. ...How am I going to do that?

 **Liberty:** Geez, now I have two people down my throat? Mind your own business. My sleep schedule is different from yours. Get over it.

* * *

Bunko and Hiram left to gather food for Team I Don't Know.

"It's too bad we didn't get any rewards," Hiram muttered.

"Yeah, but we've still got each other!" Bunko chirped.

"Th-That's true," Hiram said with a small smile. "You, me, and Mark... if we stick together, we should be safe, right?"

"Totally!" Bunko agreed.

"If one of us was voted off... I don't know what I'd do," Hiram frowned.

"Thinking that negatively is no good," Bunko frowned.

"...You're right," Hiram said with a small smile. "What about Fred? I think we should vote him off first if we lose."

"Hey! That's negative," Bunko frowned. "Instead of focusing on the bad things that might happen, focus on the good things that will definitely happen."

"Like what?" Hiram asked.

"We're on Total Drama, we've already made friends, and we're going to have so much fun!" Bunko said with a large smile.

"Hey, I think this tree has apples," Hiram noted as he pointed to a nearby fruit-bearing tree.

"Ooh, we should ask if it's willing to share," Bunko smiled.

"...I'm not sure that's going to work," Hiram mumbled.

"That's being negative again," Bunko huffed. "You'll never know until you try!"

She marched up to the tree.

"Hey, can we have some apples?" Bunko asked.

Nothing happened.

"Maybe it's a peach tree," Bunko told Hiram.

Hiram sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** We've got to hold onto hope in this crazy, mixed-up universe of ours. Or, at the very least, make people laugh with goofy drawings of themselves. Whatever works.

 **Hiram:** If me or one of my friends gets voted out early, we won't be able to help each other out, and then we'll probably lose one-by-one. That'd just be awful...

* * *

Elmer and Fred stayed at camp to get the fire started. Elmer had begun digging the fire pit.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Fred asked.

"I'm getting the fire started like I said I would," Elmer said.

Fred felt the ground around the two. "Do you have any supplies?"

"I'll get those in a second," Elmer answered.

"Not a chance, bro! I'm getting wood for the fire!" Fred declared.

Before Elmer could object, Fred ran off, directly into a nearby tree.

"I'm alright!" Fred insisted.

"You sure?" Elmer called out.

"I'm not bleeding, am I?" Fred asked confidently.

Elmer glanced at Fred, whose nose was indeed bleeding intensely.

"Why don't you get the fire pit ready, and I'll get wood?" Elmer suggested.

"No way, man," Fred declined. "I'm getting wood all on my own!"

Fred ran into the nearby forest.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I don't want to let the blind kid go off into the woods by himself when he's very clearly going to hurt himself, but he's not making it easy. I'm just hoping that nothing drastic happens.

 **Fred:** Getting firewood is easy! Just find wood, and bring it back to camp. I'm not as dumb as Elmer seems to think I am.

* * *

Mark and Roxie searched for materials for their team's shelter.

"So, I've got to ask. Why the gas mask?" Mark wondered. "Is that a fashion trend I just don't remember?"

"Nah," Roxie told him. "It's just my thing."

"I can respect that. It works," Mark told her.

"So you really don't remember anything?" Roxie asked.

"I remember some things, but nothing about myself, or my past, or anything like that," Mark explained. "Of all the things to forget, right?"

"You seem pretty cool about the whole thing, all things considered," Roxie noted.

"It bothers me, don't get me wrong," Mark admitted. "But we've got a game to play, right? I don't know if I'm a fan of this game or not, but either way, it sounds fun, so I'm going to do what I can to win. I'm not sure I'll get another opportunity like this, you know?"

"Do you even know how to play the game?" Roxie asked.

"Not really, but I'm piecing the concept together little by little," Mark explained. "We're split up into teams, and we have to perform in small contests with the other teams, with the team who does the worst voting democratically for who they want out of the game for good. Do I have that right?"

"More or less," Roxie said.

"How long does it usually take before a team runs out of members?" Mark asked.

"...What?" Roxie asked.

"I imagine that the fewer members there are to a team, the harder it'll be to avoid losing members," Mark continued. "I imagine that one team losing all its members before other teams losing even one isn't uncommon."

"That's only happened once total," Roxie said. "Usually the teams merge before that kind of thing happens."

"The teams merge... that would make sense," Mark thought aloud. "Sorry if I'm asking really dumb questions."

"You're honestly a lot less annoying than I thought you'd be, so it's fine," Roxie responded.

"Uh, thanks?" Mark chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** To forget the past... Such innocence is almost... quite enviable. Mark's a mystery... I'm curious to know more... I may stick by him.

 **Mark:** I'm definitely interested to know what kinds of things I may have forgotten, but with no clear way of remembering, I'm going to focus my efforts on the game, I think. Clearly, I've still got some things to learn about it, though.

* * *

Chris stood at the campfire pit and looked into the camera.

"Our four teams have been established, and they're already hard at work... for the most part," Chris said. "With all the big egos on The Best Team, whose ego will come out on top? Will anyone on the Luscious Lollipops be able to lead the charge to bring their team to victory? Will the Knights of Goodness be able to keep themselves from driving each other crazy? Will Team I Don't Know win any challenge ever? I'm excited to find out, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"


	3. That Is Quantifiably Untrue

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the dock. "In our last episode, our twenty-four campers scoured Whenua Island on the search for one of four campsites that they will call home... for now. On the mountaintop campsite was the team dubbed The Best Team, where Nestor, Shadya, and Steve Jenkins have already begun grating on their teammates. In the forest campsite: the Luscious Lollipops, where Jim has made a couple friends in Louise and Virgil, and Dean has made zero. Ahaha. The cave campsite houses the Knights of Goodness, where Hildegard and Kun have already begun arguing over who will be the team leader, while Liberty and Tegan have already made an enemy or two. And at the beach campsite is Team I Don't Know, where Bunko, Hiram, and Mark have already formed a tight trio, and Fred keeps hurting himself. How will the team dynamics pan out when faced with an Invincibility challenge? And who will be the first one voted out of the game? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

It was the next morning after the teams had settled into their campsites, their shelters built and their fires started. Over at The Best Team's camp, Rowan had just awoken to find the rest of her teammates already awake and eating breakfast. A spit with an animal carcass - too torn up to recognize - had been placed above the fire.

"Good morning, Rowan!" Jeremy greeted jovially.

"You guys did all this without waking me up?" Rowan frowned. "I would have helped."

"Rest is imperative to maintain endurance," Shadya stated. "I will not let you tire yourself out before the challenge."

"Thanks... I think," Rowan said awkwardly as she sat down to join her teammates. "What's this?" she asked as she looked at the spit roast.

"I went and caught us a wild boar and Shady cooked it for us," Steve Jenkins boasted.

"Really? I seem to recall you being chased away by it while Shadya killed it, pelted it, cleaned it, and cooked it for us," Ginger remarked.

"And could she have done that if I hadn't brought it to camp?" Steve Jenkins scoffed. "Look, kid. I'm Steve Jenkins. I move in mysterious ways."

"Did he just compare himself to Jesus?" Jeremy whispered to Nestor.

"Are you surprised?" Nestor chuckled.

"Well hey, wake me up next time, please," Rowan requested. "I want to do my part to help the team as well."

"I would be happy to!" Jeremy beamed. "It warms my heart to see others try and achieve their best!"

"Then you will be ecstatic once we do compete in today's challenge," Shadya said. "As easy as it would be for me to carry us to victory each and every time, I do expect everyone else to pull their weight as well."

"Easy," Steve Jenkins winked.

"I'll do what I can," Ginger said bluntly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Shadya's done a great job providing for the team, and I have no doubt that she'll be helpful in challenges, too. Which is why she needs to go asap. If something isn't done about her soon, she's just going to power her way to the million, and honey, I am _not_ going to be playing in a season with such a boring winner. Have you _seen_ her personality? Me neither.

 **Rowan:** Well shoot, it looks like right out of the gate everyone sees me as the weakest link. Granted, this team does have some very strong members, but I cannot look like the biggest liability if I'm to get by. I need to find some way to expose someone else as the weakest link and fast.

 **Jeremy:** I think our team really does have the capacity to be the best team, just as the name suggests! Everyone is capable of great things, of course, but even with someone like Shadya on our team, the others aren't getting complacent, and they still want to do their part to help! It... _(he sniffles)_ It brings a tear to my eye.

* * *

The Luscious Lollipops ate breakfast - berries and other fruits, in their case - as a team.

"I wish we had something more substantial than just fruit," Louise commented. "Are you sure we shouldn't eat some granola bars, Jim? We could use the protein and sugar."

"Fruit actually has a healthy amount of sugar in-" Dean started.

"No one asked you, Dean," Gretchen interrupted.

"To answer your question, Louise, I think we should save the granola bars for an emergency," Jim answered. "In case we can't find food later."

"Would they put us in a situation where we could run out of food?" Wisdom asked. "What if we hadn't won the granola bars? Would they let us starve?"

"If all else fails, Virgil brought a bunch of candy he could share," Dean mentioned.

"I'm going to pretend that was a joke in poor taste," Virgil leered.

"Eep!" Dean flinched.

Wisdom gave Virgil a confused look.

"I know it's tough, but we need to stay strong," Jim said with a nervous smile. "We signed up for this. If we give in now, we could lose challenges, and if we lose challenges, we'll have to vote people out, and I don't think any of us want to get voted out, right? That's not just me?"

"Chill, dude. We got this," Virgil told him calmly.

"Besides, I know I'm not in any danger," Gretchen boasted. "I can't really be the protagonist if I go home this early. I'm guaranteed final five at worst."

"Well, I'm going to check around for any wild animals," Louise decided as she grabbed her team's machete. "Protein isn't on the food pyramid for nothing, and I don't want us eating unhealthy."

"I've got scorpion lollipops and candied crickets. Those have protein," Virgil shrugged.

"What?" Wisdom winced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** I'm not sure I understand why Jim doesn't want us taking advantage of our reward. It's not like we're actually going to run out of food anytime soon. It's a big island with lots of stuff on it. Dude's a bit too paranoid.

 **Virgil:** I need to make one thing perfectly clear: my sweets are mine. Not for sharing with just anyone. If we actually do end up in an emergency situation, and my stash is literally the only food we have access too, I _might_ bend. But otherwise? I'll guard it with my life if I have to.

 **Dean:** I don't think Virgil likes me very much. And I know Gretchen doesn't. Jim and Louise haven't really spoken to me, either. Wisdom doesn't seem to mind me, and she seems nice, but if we lose, it could very easily be four votes against me, and that's not good. What can I do to turn things around, though?

* * *

"We has teh bacon!" Tegan announced as she and Hildegard entered the cave which housed Knights of Goodness, awaking Kirkland, Kun, and Rhiannon.

"Gruh... I'm too tired and annoyed to come up with a sarcastic response," Kirkland grumbled.

"Um, were you two out by yourselves?" Kun asked.

"Verily!" Hildegard confirmed. "Little Tegan and I scoured the surrounding area for any beasts upon which to dine. The fruits of our labor wait outside."

"We found a wee little piggie!" Tegan giggled. "And he's gonna be BREAKFAST!"

"I _have_ been severely lacking in my pork sausage quota," Rhiannon winked.

"I, um, appreciate the effort, but, um, that seems a bit dangerous," Kun told Hildegard and Tegan.

"Fie! Unsex us now!" Hildegard objected. "Our gender does not make us weak by default!"

"I-It's not that!" Kun stammered. "It's, um, well it's dangerous to go out without telling the others where you're going. What if, um, you both got hurt, and, um, nobody knew where to find you?"

"Ooh! Ooh! OOH!" Tegan jumped up and down with her hand in the air. "Ummmmmmmmmmmmm Chris would know where we were! And the camera dudes!"

"Still, I don't want, um, my teammates to get hurt," Kun said.

"We were fine," Hildegard leered.

"That's, um, not the point," Kun responded. "It's, um, a matter of principle."

While the two debated, Kirkland glanced at a still-sleeping Liberty, whose sleeping cap was missing.

"Didn't she have an orange cap before?" Kirkland asked Rhiannon.

"Maybe she ate it in her sleep," Rhiannon giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I came to this island equipped with my holy lance, helmet, and breastplate. If anyone has the right to leave the camp without worrying the others, it is I! I take no orders from Kun.

 **Rhiannon:** In my line of work, arguments like this usually end in a... _happy compromise_... but I don't think these two are going to work things out like that. Sex is good stress relief, though, so I'd still recommend that they consider it.

 **Liberty:** _(She feels the top of her head.)_ ...Where the hell is my sleeping cap?

* * *

The members of Team I Don't Know sat around their fire, dining on berries.

"Hey, Elmer, you think you could get your girlfriend to give us some of her team's granola bars?" Fred asked.

"Sorry, I know this isn't much," Mark apologized.

"The rest of us all slept in while Mark got us breakfast," Hiram frowned. "Be grateful."

"Besides, even if I did ask Louise, and even if she went through with it, we wouldn't get them until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest," Elmer added.

Bunko, having finished her berries, grabbed her sketchpad and began drawing in it.

"What are you drawing?" Mark asked curiously.

"Roxie!" Bunko answered.

"Geez. I thought I told you I didn't want a caricature," Roxie grumbled.

"I drew one for everyone else," Bunko pouted. "And this is the first time you've sat down without your mask on."

Roxie stood up.

"Just let her do it. She won't bug you again if you just get it over with," Elmer advised.

With a grunt of acknowledgment, Roxie sat back down. "I don't want to see it when you're finished."

"That's fine," Bunko smiled. "I just wanted to draw a picture of everyone while I'm out here!"

"How does mine look?" Fred asked. "Does it look like me?"

"Of course it does. Bunko is very talented," Hiram insisted.

While the others talked, Mark stood up and left into the forest. Only Roxie took notice, but she did not speak up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I went to the forest to maybe find some sort of fallen branches that I could fashion into a fishing or hunting spear. If our team goes hungry, then winning the athletic challenges would be difficult, if even possible.

 **Roxie:** Mark perplexes me. He can't remember a thing. Yet so capable... I'll keep watch on him. I'm curious to know more. Just what is his deal?

 **Hiram:** I've never really liked Fred, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. He's so tactless and doesn't do anything to help the team. Bunko doesn't like me thinking such negative thoughts, but I can't help it.

* * *

Nestor and Rowan wandered into the forest, looking for firewood.

"You know, if we spend too much time together, people might start to get the wrong idea," Rowan pointed out.

"Girl, please," Nestor dismissed. "Anyone who thinks for a second that we're dating doesn't deserve to have their ideas acknowledged. No offense."

"That... isn't what I meant," Rowan winced. "I meant that they'll think we're an alliance."

"Well I don't see why we can't be, honey," Nestor said. "It's very obvious that Ginger and Jeremy aren't leaving Shadya's lap anytime soon. They'd be hypocrites to call us out."

"I'll do anything to keep the potential target off of me," Rowan explained. "Speaking of which, who would you say has the most potential to go home if our team loses?"

"Realistically? Steve Jenkins," Nestor answered. "If it were up to me, though? I'd send Shadya off of this island in an instant."

"Shadya has the potential to be a big threat," Rowan agreed. "But she's also helpful around camp, and I think the rest of the team likes her. What can we do to make her a bigger target?"

"Explain to the others that she's going to destroy them if she doesn't leave soon, of course," Nestor answered. "I don't think Jeremy would go for it, but Ginger and Steve Jenkins might."

"I heard my name!" Steve Jenkins announced as he ran up to the two. "I knew that the legendary name of Steve Jenkins would be on people's lips. What's up? Talking about how amazing Steve Jenkins is?"

"Actually, we were," Rowan smiled. "We were just saying that you would make a much better team leader than Shadya."

"Whoa whoa whoa," Steve Jenkins grimaced. "You're going to need to slow down there. You mean to tell me that people think _Shady_ is the leader of this team? And not Steve Jenkins? Aha. Ahaha! I can't believe that! I'm Steve Jenkins! Everyone looks up to me!"

"Sadly, it's the truth," Rowan told him. "Jeremy, in particular, seems to hold her in very high regard. Nestor and I are worried that he, Shadya, and Ginger might be trying to overthrow you."

"You're joking!" Steve Jenkins gasped. "The... The sheer audacity of it all!"

"Nestor and I were also thinking of voting Shadya out if we lose," Rowan continued. "What do you think?"

"I dunno," Steve Jenkins admitted. "She and I have kind of a 'thing' going, you know?"

Nestor and Rowan shared a skeptical glance.

"Well, think about it," Rowan suggested. "The longer she sticks around, the longer the others will think of her as the leader instead of you. Oh, and I wouldn't confront the others about this if I were you. They might-"

"Aaaaaaaand he's already gone," Nestor interrupted as Steve Jenkins dashed off. "But hey, you tried."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Look, I've played along with Shady's advances, because she's cute, and because I like playful banter, but if she thinks she can take over Steve Jenkins' role as team leader, she's got another thing coming!

 **Rowan:** That... could have ended better. But, at the very least, I have planted seeds of doubt in Steve Jenkins' head. Doubt that keeping Shadya or Jeremy around will do him any good. Lord knows them sticking around won't do me any good.

 **Nestor:** I have to admit, Rowan did a pretty good job out there with Steve Jenkins. Until the part where he failed to grasp the basics of formulating a blindside, but what else do you expect from a classic over-the-top-negative egomaniac? Tsk tsk tsk. She should have done her homework.

* * *

Jim and Virgil had followed Louise on her excursion.

"I don't need you guys' help, you know," Louise insisted.

"Be that as it may, I'm here with an offer. For the both of you," Jim said. "I think the three of us could get a lot of work done in this game. Four if we add Elmer later on. I'd like for us to be an alliance. That's not too presumptuous, is it? It's not too early to ask for an alliance, is it? Oh my god, Jim, stop talking."

Louise giggled. "Yeah, I'd be down. If Elmer _were_ here, he'd stress the importance of early-game connections, or something."

"Whatever," Virgil shrugged. "Who're we voting for?"

"I'd like for Gretchen to go," Jim admitted. "She gets on my nerves, and I know Dean and Wisdom feel the same at the very least."

"I'd rather lose Dean, honestly," Virgil said. "He's got some small dick energy that rubs me the wrong way."

"Yeah, I can see why someone would think she's annoying, but I don't mind Gretchen," Louise added. "...Also, 'small dick energy'?"

"I'm just calling it as I see it," Virgil stated. "Nah, but for real, I feel like Dean isn't really adding anything to the team. Gretchen at least gets us food sometimes."

"God, you're right, I'm such an idiot!" Jim chided himself as he smacked himself in the forehead.

"Hey, let's not overthink things," Louise consoled. "We haven't even lost a challenge yet. Let's focus on strengthening our friendship before we go arguing about who we should vote out."

"I just don't want to make any game-ending mistakes," Jim said after a deep breath.

"I get that, but beating yourself up over the little things isn't going to help," Louise told him. "So... what's your favorite candy? We all like candy, right?"

"Candy is my reason for being," Virgil said flatly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** I get that Jim is worried about his girlfriend back home, and rightfully so. I just don't want him alienating others by making such a... I guess display? Honestly, if it did come down to it, I might vote for Gretchen, but I don't want to think about that kind of thing before we've even had our first challenge, you know?

 **Jim:** Virgil and Louise are right. I can't vote someone out just based on if they're annoying or not. I need to think long-term, and maybe voting out someone who doesn't bring much to the team is the better call. ...But would keeping Gretchen affect team morale? Enough to the point that it keeps costing us challenges? Oh my god, what do I do?!

 **Virgil:** Real talk, I'm not really all that crazy about anyone on my team. Dean, Gretchen, and Strawberry are all annoying, and hell, Jimmy Beans is kind of a trainwreck, and Louise seems kind of dense. But this alliance is with probably the two best people on this team, and I know they aren't going to vote me out anytime soon, so I'll stick with them for now. Eh, maybe I just need some sugar.

* * *

Kun found Hildegard and Tegan tending to the fire outside of the team's cave.

"Hey, um, I just wanted to apologize if I came on a little strong before," Kun apologized.

"I could think of more apt descriptions of thee," Hildegard commented. "But I appreciate thine offer of peace. Gramercy."

"You're a silly billy, Kun," Tegan giggled.

"As the leader of the team, I want to-" Kun began.

"Soft, you!" Hildegard interrupted. "Thou art no leader. Thy weak constitution and meek demeanor are no traits for a general."

"I thought Hildegard was the leader," Tegan mentioned.

"Verily, if anyone is qualified to lead our team to victory, it is I!" Hildegard declared.

"Well, um, I'm afraid that isn't going to work," Kun informed her. "Since, well, you see, having two team leaders is not a very practical approach."

"And what makes you so sure that you have any right to crown yourself king?" Hildegard challenged. "As the leader of this team, I hereby relinquish your duties as team leader!"

"You can't just, um, decide you're the team leader just like that," Kun frowned.

"Marry I can't!" Hildegard shot back. "Didst thou not do the same? I see no reason why I cannot do the same!"

"I, um, well, I..." Kun stammered. "Fine. We shall let the people decide."

"Ooh! Ooh! OOH! I want Hilde to be teh team leader!" Tegan shouted as she jumped up and down with her hand in the air.

Hildegard gave Kun a smug smirk.

"There's still, um, three others who have not weighed in their opinion yet," Kun mentioned. "You haven't won anything yet."

"I fear not my chances," Hildegard bragged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Kun has slenderly known himself if he trowests himself a leader. I knowest not what attracts him to such a position, but rest assured, he will not sully my team on my watch! I christened the Knights of Goodness, and I will do what I can to ensure that my good Knights remain strong and capable!

 **Kun:** Oh dear, um, I did not expect this. When my dad lays his instructions down, people follow them without question. And that applies at home, too. Why isn't it working for me? Well, perhaps I can, um, count on Kirkland, Rhiannon, and Liberty to take my side. They seem, um, a bit more reasonable than Hildegard and Tegan do.

 **Tegan:** Heckles, Hildegard and I go and catch us a breakfast, and Kun still thinks he's the boss of us? Well, he's no fun! But surely Kirkityland will take Hilde's side. He roxxorz!

* * *

Elmer and Fred remained at their team's campsite while the others had gone off.

"So, Fred, how are you liking the game so far?" Elmer inquired.

"It's pretty tight," Fred grinned. "I'm psyched for our first challenge, you know? Can't wait to get out there and win!"

"Er, yeah," Elmer responded half-heartedly. "In the event that we lose, though, I think we should have a plan going forward."

"Naw, man, we should be good," Fred insisted.

"It doesn't hurt to come prepared," Elmer insisted back. "Now, you may not have noticed-"

"What, just because I'm blind, I might not notice something?" Fred interrupted, offended.

"...Bunko, Hiram, and Mark are all in an alliance," Elmer finished.

"Oh, shoot, I _didn't_ notice that!" Fred exclaimed.

"Which is why I think you, Roxie, and I should team up to counteract that," Elmer continued.

"Yeah, that makes sense, dawg," Fred nodded. "So, like, what happens when the votes tie, though?"

"That's a good point," Elmer nodded. "We'll have to convince one of those three to abandon ship and vote with us. It's just a matter of who."

"Hey, guys," Hiram greeted as he joined the other two boys. "Have you guys seen Bunko around?"

"I've got no idea where she went, sorry," Fred answered.

"I didn't see her leave either, sorry," Elmer answered as well. "Why, is something up with Bunko?"

"Nothing is _up_ with Bunko," Hiram frowned. "Bunko is an amazing human being. You should be so lucky that you're on a team with her."

"What's Bunko got that I don't?" Fred asked. "And don't say 'eyesight' because that's too easy!"

"Guys, this is not something to fight over," Elmer mediated. He turned to Hiram. "If you're looking for Bunko, I'd suggest waiting here until she comes back."

Hiram anxiously sat down in the team's shelter. Elmer gave Fred a concerned glance, before realizing that Fred wouldn't notice it and silently cursing at himself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I have nothing against the individual members of this alliance of three, but as a unit, it's clear that, when push comes to shove, they can and will vote me out in the future. So I'm going to do what I can to turn the tables in my favor. From what I've gleaned so far, Hiram is probably the least likely to betray the three, but Bunko isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and Mark lost his memory, so I may be able to take advantage of those two.

 **Fred:** Yeah, Roxie's tight, so I'd be down to work with her in an alliance kind of thing. Not so sure about Elmer, but hey, I don't see anyone else offering me an alliance. I just want to know how we're supposed to get someone from that other alliance to vote with us. They're an alliance for a reason, right? I don't know. I'll let Elmer figure it out.

 **Hiram:** I wasn't so sure about leaving home, because I never go anywhere without my mommy, but Bunko has brought me so much comfort since coming here. I'll take her to the final two, i-if I can.

* * *

Ginger, Jeremy, and Shadya sat around the fire at their campsite.

"So, what do you figure the first challenge will be?" Jeremy wondered.

"Does it matter?" Ginger asked.

"I'm just trying to strike up a conversation," Jeremy frowned. "Through the power of camaraderie and friendship, anything is possible!"

"Tell us about your proudest mountain climbing excursion," Shadya suggested.

"Oh, anything I might say would pale in comparison to what you've done, Shadya," Jeremy said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, unlike you, I'm not too humble to leave hickeys on Shadya's ass," Ginger scoffed amusedly as she adjusted her glasses. "I'll tell you about my accomplishments in robotics."

"There is nothing wrong with acknowledging someone else has accomplished more than you have," Jeremy grimaced.

"Well, Shadya has not accomplished more than I have," Ginger grinned.

"That is quantifiably untrue, but go on," Shadya remarked.

"In robotics, I mean. Smartass," Ginger tsked. "I'll have you know that I'm currently running experiments on an AI that is capable of speech _and_ learning."

"No kidding?" Shadya asked. "I was not aware anyone was capable of such a thing."

"Well, believe it," Ginger boasted. "I'm a genius, you know. I was certified as a child and everything."

"Interesting," Shadya nodded.

"I've been working on this one for years and years, but it's all going to be worth it when I sell the rights to Sony or Google or somebody and make trillions," Ginger said with sparkles in her eyes.

"Why would you part with such an accomplishment so readily?" Shadya frowned.

"Uh, what part of 'trillions' did you miss?" Ginger grinned. "That's enough for my _grandchildren_ to never have to work again. Not that I plan on marrying or having kids, but you know."

Shadya stood up and descended down the mountain path without a word.

"Tch. I bet she's just jealous that someone is better than her at something," Ginger told Jeremy.

"Frankly, I think I'll go see what Shadya is doing," Jeremy responded as he stood up and followed his teammate.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Jeremy wanted to make conversation, so I made conversation and all of a sudden _I'm_ the bad guy because I've got so much about my accomplishments to talk about. They're just jealous that I'm going to be filthy stinking rich in the future. People are always jealous.

 **Shadya:** I was just tired of hearing Ginger brag so much. I have a lot to brag about, but I never feel the need to do so. I let my accomplishments speak for themselves. To do otherwise is an admittance of insecurity. And here I thought Steve Jenkins would be the most annoying person on this team. ...Okay, I won't push it, he still is.

 **Jeremy:** Man, hearing about all that Ginger and Shadya have done makes me feel like I'm not accomplishing enough. And I've climbed Denali, the tallest mountain in North America! I'm no slouch! _(He sighs.)_ I'm probably just overthinking it. Ginger was pretty boastful about everything, so maybe that's where this negative energy is coming from.

* * *

Dean and Gretchen wandered through the forest searching for food and firewood.

"So, I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you to search for supplies with me," Gretchen began.

"Honestly, yeah," Dean confirmed. "I thought you didn't like me."

"I'm not sure anyone likes you," Gretchen remarked. "Which makes you perfect as my deuteragonist!"

"...I don't follow," Dean admitted.

"Any protagonist worth her salt has a bumbling sidekick who makes her look better in comparison," Gretchen explained. "The problem that usually occurs is that the sidekick ends up more popular than the protagonist herself, but in your case, I won't have anything to worry about."

"Okay...?" Dean cocked his head to the side.

"Look, Jim, Louise, and Virgil are very obviously getting close," Gretchen mentioned. "If they aren't an alliance already, they will be by the end of the day. Either stick with me or get voted off as soon as our team loses."

"That's fair," Dean sighed. "What about Wisdom? I assume you want her to work with us?"

"Never assume anything," Gretchen scolded. "Although you're right, we will need her vote."

"Are you guys talking about me?" came a voice from behind the two. Dean jumped a bit in surprise before he and Gretchen turned around to see Wisdom standing behind them.

"Oh, Wisdom!" Dean smiled. "We were just, uh, talking strategy."

Wisdom gave the two a suspicious look.

"What this idiot failed to mention is that we want you to work with us," Gretchen added as she leered at Dean. "We'll be voting out Jim at our earliest convenience."

"Why Jim?" Wisdom asked.

"Uh, have you heard his backstory?" Gretchen asked in disbelief. "Trying to win the game so he can raise money for his pregnant girlfriend and eventual child? That _screams_ protagonist! I won't let that happen!"

"Can we vote him out with just us three?" Wisdom wondered.

"Technically, yes, if the others split their votes," Gretchen said matter-of-factly. "Don't doubt me. I'm not the protagonist for nothing."

Dean and Wisdom shared a confused look. Dean shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** So I guess I'm aligned with Gretchen, maybe, somehow? I'll admit, she wouldn't be my first choice in an ally, but it's better than no allies at all, which looked like a very real possibility. And hey, she's cool with working with Wisdom, and Wisdom probably is my first choice in an ally, so it all works out, I think.

 **Gretchen:** Dean and Wisdom are some of the biggest losers I've ever met, and this alliance is definitely temporary, but at the very least I won't have to worry about them stealing my spotlight while I keep them around. Chris mentioned that we'll be moving to a new island with different gameplay every few rounds, so maybe by that point, I can pick up some better allies, but for now, these two will have to do.

 **Wisdom:** Can I really trust Gretchen? And why does Dean seem to trust her? Surely he can see she's just looking out for herself, right? Is it worth just going with it? Or should I talk to the other three and see about what they might have to offer? Am I on the bottom of the totem pole either way? Hmm...

* * *

Inside the Knights of Goodness cave, Kirkland and Rhiannon sat down while Liberty slept on the ground.

"We really could use some pillows," Rhiannon mentioned. "Or a mattress. Whatever works," she added with a wink.

"Is sex all you think about?" Kirkland asked.

"Force of habit, I suppose," Rhiannon giggled.

"Well, it's not half as annoying as just about everyone else on this team," Kirkland mentioned.

"Aw, I think their quirks are cute," Rhiannon smiled.

"I refuse to believe anyone finds Tegan anything but cancerous," Kirkland growled.

"The more you go on about her, the more it's going to look like she's all you think about~" Rhiannon winked.

"Yes, that joke was equally as funny the first time you told it," Kirkland grunted. "Anyway, what would you say about voting her out the first chance we get?"

"Perhaps," Rhiannon smiled. She glanced at Liberty. "Are you sure Tegan is our best option, though?"

"Actually, I was going to ask Liberty to join me in this vote at her earliest convenience," Kirkland explained. "She strikes me as the type who would be more than fine with getting rid of Tegan."

"Do I strike you like the same type?" Rhiannon purred.

"You strike me as the most reasonable person on this team," Kirkland admitted. "Tegan is Tegan, Liberty is nocturnal, and Hildegard and Kun are always going to be butting heads and trying too hard to assert themselves."

"Hm. So I'm your 'by-default', then?" Rhiannon asked.

"Do you disagree with my assertions of our teammates?" Kirkland challenged.

"No, but you're going to have to work on a little something called 'tact' if you want people to stick with you," Rhiannon noted.

"Whatever," Kirkland leered.

Liberty began stirring.

"Oh, is our little sleepyhead waking up?" Rhiannon cooed.

"Nnnnnnnnnnno," Liberty moaned.

"Do you want to vote out Tegan if we lose?" Rhiannon asked.

"Mm yeahsurewhatever..." Liberty mumbled.

"Sweet dreams, honey," Rhiannon smiled. She turned to Kirkland. "See what a little social awareness can do for you?"

"She would have agreed if I asked her, too," Kirkland huffed.

Rhiannon giggled. "Sure, hon."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** The others on this team all seem like the type to ruffle feathers. The good girl angle will do me well, here, if I want to avoid getting targeted. Kirkland isn't as brilliant or infallible as he thinks he is, but I think I'll stick with him for now. Either way, I should be good for these first few rounds.

 **Kirkland:** I know it's cliche, but I really am surrounded by idiots on this team. Thankfully, I have a plan in the works, and that plan begins with getting rid of Tegan. Once she's gone, I can well and truly take control of this team. Subtly, of course. Unlike those two morons who keep arguing over who gets to be the team leader.

 **Liberty:** Eughhhhhh... Which one's Tegan again?

* * *

Mark continued to search the forest, as he said he would before.

"Mark," Roxie greeted as she and Bunko approached him.

"Oh, Roxie, Bunko," Mark smiled. "What's up?"

"I saw you leave camp. I'm curious as to why. Without telling us," Roxie answered.

"I followed!" Bunko announced cheerily.

"Fred mentioned that the team was getting hungry, so I decided to see if there was something I could find that I could fashion into a hunting tool," Mark explained. "Or is leaving camp a taboo I didn't know about?"

"It definitely makes you look suspicious," Roxie mentioned.

"Oh. May I ask why?" Mark inquired.

"Some seasons have tiny hidden statues that could save you at elimination," Roxie explained. "If you go off without telling others, people might think you're looking for one."

"Really? Chris never mentioned anything about that," Mark said. "Well, maybe in the future, one or both of you can come with me if I want to explore the island."

"That might work, maybe. Why do you want to explore? It seems so random," Roxie asked. "It's not bad per se. But there's other things to do. Things to help the team."

"I... was trying to help the team, I thought?" Mark said confusedly.

"Hey, he doesn't understand what's going on, remember?" Bunko frowned. "Take it easy on him."

"Well, it's..." Mark thought to himself a bit. "I definitely want to understand what's going on, and I can't learn without making mistakes, but... I don't know."

"It's okay, Mark. I still like you," Bunko smiled.

"I don't dislike him. Don't make me the bad guy here. Just trying to help," Roxie said indignantly as she turned to walk away. She took her mask down and lit a cigarette.

"Hey, Roxie, I definitely wouldn't mind if you gave me some pointers," Mark requested. "You too, Bunko."

"I don't really know much about the strategy side of things," Bunko admitted. "I just came here to have fun!"

"...I'll do what I can. Don't expect too much from me. I'm not your mother," Roxie told Mark.

"Any help at all would be appreciated," Mark chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** It's fascinating how this game has its own culture and etiquette surrounding it that the average person might not even know about. As much as I like to think that I'm taking charge, it sounds like I still have a lot to learn. Having Roxie help me out even a little could keep me from losing.

 **Bunko:** Mark and Roxie are both super cool and mysterious! _(She begins gesticulating dramatically.)_ Mark: the boy who lost his memory. What was he like in his past life? What is his real name? Roxie: the girl who hides her face and keeps to herself. Why does she smoke cigarettes? Why does she let her guard down to Mark? The world... may never know!

 **Roxie:** I guess that happened. I wish Bunko didn't come. But what can you do? ...It's nothing like _that_. Amnesia's interesting. Nothing more, got it?

* * *

The twenty-four contestants met up with Chris underneath the giant oak tree in the center of the island.

"Welcome to your first real challenge of the season, campers!" Chris greeted.

"Was sleeping on the cold hard ground not our first challenge?" Kirkland quipped.

"You guys didn't build a shelter?" Gretchen chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm with Gretchen here, get good," Chris laughed.

Kirkland glared at Chris.

"Anyway, this challenge is important, because winning the challenge means there's no way you're going home first!" Chris continued. "Here's the deal: behind you, you'll see three signs pointing in different directions."

The contestants turned around to see red, blue, and yellow signs, pointing to the left, upward, and to the right respectively.

"You guys will split into three groups of two per team," Chris explained. "Follow the signs of the same color to make it to a different obstacle course. Each course will require one person to run it, while the other person has to help them not mess up. At the end of each course is a marshmallow painted in your team's color: gold for The Best Team, pink for the Luscious Lollipops, blue for the Knights of Goodness, and green for Team I Don't Know. The first three teams to bring back all their marshmallows will win Invincibility! The last team will be voting someone out. Any questions?"

"Yeah, didn't we win a challenge advantage because we were the first team formed?" Nestor inquired.

"Ah, yes, that is correct!" Chris remembered. "The Best Team will only have to bring back two of their three marshmallows. Meaning two of you can take it easy and not have to compete."

"That's a pretty hefty advantage," Roxie said jealously.

"You should have thought about that before losing yesterday's challenge. Hehaha," Chris teased. "Decide amongst yourselves who will go along which path, and we can get this challenge underway!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** Splitting the team up and having to sit two people out can play a crucial difference in the dynamics of our team. Nestor and I can start talking to the people we need to without Shadya or Jeremy overhearing or butting in. It's also an opportunity for me to prove myself to the team. I'm still kind of miffed that they didn't let me help with gathering food this morning.

 **Louise:** I wonder if I can swing it so Elmer and I take the same path. It's killing me that we're on opposite ends of the same island so much of the time. I wonder how he's doing on his team.

 **Kun:** This isn't the kind of challenge where I can take leadership over the whole team, but, um, perhaps I can take the chance to talk to Liberty while she's, um, awake. N-Not about the whole "sleeping and not helping out around camp" thing, more about the "I need someone to validate my position as team leader" thing. A good leader sets priorities.

 **Mark:** My first athletic challenge. I have to admit, I'm pretty nervous. I'm not sure what I should expect here, and I don't want that to be the difference between my team winning or losing. I guess I'll do what I can and hope for the best.

* * *

The contestants had discussed who would take which path and stood at the ready.

"Aaaaaaand... GO!" Chris announced.

Rowan, Steve Jenkins, Gretchen, Louise, Kun, Liberty, Elmer, and Mark all went down the red path. Jeremy, Shadya, Dean, Wisdom, Kirkland, Rhiannon, Bunko, and Hiram all went down the blue path. Jim, Virgil, Hildegard, Tegan, Fred, and Roxie all went down the yellow path. Ginger and Nestor stayed behind.

"So now what do we do?" Ginger asked.

"Wait for everyone else to finish," Chris answered.

"What? That's soooo boring," Nestor whined.

"Well you should have thought about that before you offered to sit out," Chris retorted.

* * *

At the end of the red path was a small chasm with the four colored marshmallows on the other side. There were four drawbridges that began from the side the contestants stood on, each of which was accompanied by a crank.

"It looks like one of us is going to have to use the crank to keep the bridge down while the other goes and gets the marshmallow," Elmer commented.

"Good thing Nestor stayed behind then, eh?" Steve Jenkins joked to Rowan.

"I don't know. Do you think you could keep the bridge held down better than he could?" Rowan teased.

"Do you question the amazing challenge capabilities of Steve Jenkins? For shame!" Steve Jenkins snapped. "I could keep four people on our bridge!"

"I'll walk the bridge. You'll be supporting me," Gretchen told Louise. "You're a supporting character anyway so it works out."

"Uh, whatever you say," Louise laughed. "Elmer! Stay back and hold the bridges with me!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, of course," Elmer agreed. "That's cool with you, right Mark?"

"I'm trusting your judgment. I have no idea what we should and shouldn't do here," Mark admitted.

"Obviously I'll go across the bridge," Liberty told Kun.

"Well, um, I was actually going to suggest that you crank the bridge, so that, um, you can actually say you've done something for, um, the team, and..." Kun stammered.

"Unggggggh _fine_." Liberty yawned. "If it'll get you off my back."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Success! See, I can, um, get people to listen to me.

 **Elmer:** As much as I want to act like I want to distance myself from Louise so we aren't an obvious power duo... I really have missed her over the past day. It'll be nice to catch up with her.

* * *

At the end of the yellow path was a sheer rock wall with the marshmallows at the top. There were four eye screws in the wall with long ropes threaded through them. The ropes were tied in thick knots at both ends.

"Ah, a mountain climbing challenge!" Jeremy recognized. "Shadya, I'll hold onto the rope to keep it steady if you use it to rappel up and get the marshmallow."

"You're the mountaineer. I trust you more to climb it," Shadya stated.

"I've never climbed Everest before. You have," Jeremy chuckled. "Besides, it'd be my honor."

"If you say so," Shadya reluctantly agreed.

"Would you mind climbing while I keep the rope steady?" Wisdom asked Dean.

"You're smaller and more lightweight than I am. Are you sure?" Dean pointed out.

"I'm wearing a dress, remember?" Wisdom frowned. "Would _you_ want to risk people seeing your underwear?"

"R-Right. True," Dean blushed. "Y-Yeah, I'll climb. That's cool. Cool with me. Yep."

Wisdom gave him a confused look.

"That looks pretty high up," Bunko winced. "Pretty scary."

"I'm willing to help in any way I can, Bunko," Hiram pledged. "Because I know you'd do the same for me."

"Ooh, really? Neat!" Bunko chirped. "Want to climb for me, then? I'll support you."

"You always do," Hiram sighed with a smile.

"Do you want to climb or to be the support?" Rhiannon asked Kirkland. "I'm good either way."

"So am I, truthfully, but since you asked, I'll stick with support," Kirkland decided. "I don't trust myself to climb quickly or you to hold this much weight."

"Your vote of confidence is flattering, sweetie," Rhiannon joked with a wink.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** Hiram's such a nice friend! We've only known each other for a couple days, and we already trust each other a whole lot. Together, we can do anything!

 **Shadya:** Jeremy's recognition of my abilities is nice, don't get me wrong, but I don't want him to feel like he can't contribute simply because I have more trophies on my proverbial - and literal - wall. We are The Best _Team_ , not just Shadya and Co.

* * *

At the end of the blue path were four towers with winding staircases, each with a marshmallow at the top. Each tower had parts of the staircase that were colored red, blue, or yellow and were retreated into the wall. In front of each tower was a console with red, blue, and yellow buttons.

"Ooh! I wanna push teh buttonz!" Tegan cheered as she ran up to a console and began mashing the buttons.

When the red button was pressed, the red bits of staircase extended. The blue button extended the blue bits of staircase, and the same applied to the yellow button.

"Calm thyself, little Tegan," Hildegard advised. "Pray, thou shouldst climb yon tower."

"Awww, but I likes teh buttons," Tegan pouted.

"Too much, I fear," Hildegard said.

"I'll be serious! Pinkie promise!" Tegan pled.

"What are either of them saying?" Jim asked Virgil.

"That we lucked out not ending up on a team with them," Virgil smirked.

"I climb the tower, you mess with the staircase?" Jim offered.

"Sounds good to me," Virgil said nonchalantly as he stuck a lollipop in his mouth. "Mmm. Grape is the flavor of victory, you know."

"Duly noted," Jim said.

"What's going on?" Fred asked.

"There's a tower with a spiral staircase," Roxie explained. "Parts of the staircase will only appear if you press the right buttons here." Roxie led Fred to the console in front of the tower with the green marshmallow. "I'm going to climb the tower for one of the marshmallows we need to win. I'm going to call out to you to press the left, center, or right buttons. All you have to do is press them when I say so."

"Why can't I climb the tower?" Fred asked indignantly.

"Uh, did you miss the part where there are gaps in the staircase?" Roxie asked flatly. "Besides, you won't be able to tell me what part of the staircase to extend when you're at the back of the tower. Just go with it. You can run into things and hurt yourself as much as you want back at camp."

"Works for me!" Fred agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jim:** I'm actually feeling pretty good about this one. Sure, we probably won't place first thanks to The Best Team having an advantage, but with the easily-distracted girl on the Knights of Goodness, and the blind guy on Team I Don't Know, Virgil and I should have this particular challenge in the bag. ...I hope I didn't just jinx it. Oh God I just jinxed it, didn't I?

 **Tegan:** I just can't help it! Pushing buttons totally roxxorz! I always press all the buttons every time I get on an elevator. People love it so much they always groan or sigh in excitement! Teeheehee. I'm quirky!

* * *

Ginger and Nestor sat back at the starting area.

"I'm bored," Nestor sighed.

"I don't feel boredom," Ginger grinned. "My mind is always working, always thinking."

"Oh really? Spill the deets, girl, what are you thinking about?" Nestor asked curiously.

"The potential for robots to become projectors through their eyes," Ginger explained. "But is it viable to put the ocular unit and a projector in such a cramped space?"

"Maybe if the eyes were big enough. I don't know," Nestor answered.

"That's the thing," Ginger continued. "I strive to make my robots as lifelike as possible. That's the goal. Any deviation could plunge it deeper into the uncanny valley."

"Yeah, I don't know enough about this kind of stuff," Nestor admitted. "My point of expertise is in this very show."

"Oh, really? Who's winning this game then?" Ginger challenged.

"Shadya," Nestor answered simply.

"Wrong. The answer is me," Ginger said proudly.

"Not as long as Shadya's in this game," Nestor explained. "You and Jeremy said it yourselves, she's a powerhouse and a genius. Who's going to compete?"

"Um, _I'm_ a genius," Ginger scoffed. "She's just some jack-of-all-trades."

"All I know is that if I was watching at home, I'd be begging for her teammates to vote her out before she steamrolls everyone. Because honey, nobody wants to see some boring winner who faced no adversity. I don't care what the Big Brother producers say."

"So, what, you're saying that voting out Shadya will make us adored by fans?" Ginger asked.

"Couldn't hurt," Nestor offered savvily.

Ginger simply smirked in response.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** I don't know if that smirk meant anything or not, but I'm glad I got the chance to talk to Ginger alone. This could make all the difference in the coming days.

 **Ginger:** Yeah, Shadya's a threat, but she's also a threat who I have in my pocket. Why cut her early when she's never going to cut me? Nice try, Nestor.

* * *

Steve Jenkins, Louise, Liberty, and Elmer all began cranking their respective drawbridges down. Liberty grew tired quickly, and, as Kun tried crossing the bridge, she stopped long enough to fling the drawbridge back up.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Kun screamed as he flew over the contestants' heads.

Liberty blinked twice. "My bad," she said nonchalantly.

"Yeah! I can crank it for hours!" Steve Jenkins boasted.

"Hehe. I'm sure," Rowan laughed to herself.

"So, how are things going on your team?" Louise asked Elmer as the two cranked their bridges down side-to-side.

"Could be better," Elmer admitted. "How about you?"

"It's going well!" Louise beamed. "I've got a good alliance right out of the gate with Jim and Virgil."

Louise lost her rhythm while talking, and, though Gretchen made it to the other side, the bridge had flung back upwards, leaving her trapped.

"Hey, Louise! Focus!" Gretchen scolded.

"Oops," Louise chuckled awkwardly as she began cranking the bridge back down.

"Steve Jenkins has returned!" Steve Jenkins announced as he returned to Rowan with his team's marshmallow in hand.

"Wonderful job," Rowan complimented as the two ran back to the starting area.

"I got the marshmallow," Mark told Elmer as he came back. "Is there anything else I needed to do?"

"I think that's all we have to do," Elmer told him. "The rest is on our teammates. Let's head back."

"Bye, Elmer...!" Louise called as Elmer and Mark ran off.

"Louise! Focus!" Gretchen scolded.

"R-Right!" Louise stammered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I'm glad to hear Louise is in a good position on her team, but if anything that's even more of a reason to focus on my game rather than on her. I'm in the minority, and that _will_ need to change before my team has to vote someone out.

 **Steve Jenkins:** See, Steve Jenkins isn't just all talk. I know how to kick ass in challenges, too. The Best Team is about to get that sweet first place winning streak, just you watch.

* * *

Jeremy, Wisdom, Bunko, and Rhiannon each grabbed hold of a rope and kept it steady, while their partners took hold and began climbing.

"You're doing great, Shadya!" Jeremy called up to his partner.

"Y-You're doing better, Bunko!" Hiram called down to his partner.

"Awwwww, thanks," Bunko chirped.

"Are you good?" Wisdom asked Dean.

"I'm... managing..." Dean struggled to say.

"Kirkland, can you pull the rope tighter?" Rhiannon requested. "Heh. Wouldn't be the first time I asked that."

Kirkland stepped back with the rope in his hands, but stepped back too far, and fell over, dropping the rope sending Rhiannon to the ground.

"Oof!" Rhiannon cried.

"Geez..." Kirkland grumbled as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Are you alright, Rhiannon?"

"Give me a minute," Rhiannon groaned as she stumbled back onto her feet.

Shadya made it to the top of the wall, grabbed her team's marshmallow, and quickly rapelled back down to the ground.

"Excellent!" Jeremy complimented.

"Let us go," Shadya stated as she and Jeremy ran back to the starting area.

Hiram, having seen The Best Team pull ahead, picked up the pace, and made it to the top of the wall swiftly.

"B-Bunko! I've got it!" Hiram smiled as he took the marshmallow with the hand not holding the rope.

"Awesome!" Bunko cheered as she threw her hands in the air. She let go of the rope in doing so, sending Hiram plummeting down.

"Gah!" Hiram cried.

"Hiram!" Bunko gasped as she ran up to catch him, which she did successfully. "I've got you!"

"Ahhhhhhhh~" Hiram emoted as he wrapped his arms around Bunko.

"Hurry! We need to get back with the marshmallow!" Bunko said urgently as she set Hiram back on his feet.

"Uh, right," Hiram remembered as he and Bunko made their way back to the starting area.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** There is nothing that can't be accomplished through teamwork! Having two experienced mountain-climbers on the team certainly doesn't hurt either. _(he chuckles.)_

 **Hiram:** When Bunko held me in her arms... that's the safest I've felt since stepping on the airplane that flew me out here. I'm so fortunate to have her.

* * *

Jim, Hildegard, and Roxie began climbing their respective towers

"Yellow!" Jim called, to which Virgil pressed the yellow button.

A yellow section of the staircase came out of the tower, allowing Jim to continue climbing.

"Which one's yellow?" Fred asked.

"Fred! Don't listen to the others," Roxie instructed. "The towers are all different in which buttons you need to press. Just listen to me. Press the button on the right."

"You got it, dawg!" Fred agreed as he slammed down on the blue button, allowing Roxie to keep climbing.

Tegan stared intently at the buttons on her console.

"Must... not... push the buttons..." Tegan told herself.

"Tegan! I require steps of red!" Hildegard called.

"Buttons!" Tegan shouted as she began pressing all of the buttons rapidly.

Hildegard had stepped on the red stairs that had extended, only for them to disappear beneath her feet, causing her to fall down.

"Tegan!" Hildegard scolded. "Thou hast lost thy button privileges!"

"I wanna push teh buttonz!" Tegan insisted.

"Tegan!" Hildegard shouted.

"...I'm sowwy," Tegan pouted as Hildegard walked up to the console. Tegan took the hint and skipped over to the tower.

"Blue!" Jim called, to which Virgil extended the blue stairs. Jim climbed up some more before calling "Yellow!"

"This is honestly way easier than the other teams are making it look," Virgil chuckled.

"I've got the marshmallow!" Jim announced from the top of the tower.

"Nice," Virgil responded. "How confident are you that you'll survive the fall if you jump down?"

"Heh. Confident. That's a good one," Jim chuckled nervously. "You'll have to keep the stairs coming."

"Eh, fair enough," Virgil shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** It's the grape lollipop, man, I'm telling you. Good candy means a good mood, which means good challenge performance.

* * *

Rowan, Steve Jenkins, Elmer, Mark, Jeremy, Shadya, Bunko, and Hiram all arrived back at the starting area with their marshmallows in hand.

"Guys!" Nestor cheered. "Tell me we did not just get first place already."

"You definitely did, Nestor," Chris chimed in. "The Best Team wins first place!"

The members of The Best Team all cheered, except Shadya, who gave a satisfied nod.

"See, even when only four of us are competing, we still kick ass," Ginger boasted to those on the other team.

"...Wait, but that was your advantage," Mark pointed out.

"She knows. She's just being unsportsmanlike," Elmer whispered.

"Fred had better not screw this up for us," Hiram mumbled.

Jim and Virgil arrived on the scene.

"Heh. Not the turnout I was hoping for," Jim admitted.

"We can still do this," Virgil assured him. "Louise and Gretchen are tough enough. And Dean and Strawberry are... We can still do this."

"Chris, are we allowed to help our teammates out?" Jim inquired.

"Nope!" Chris answered cheerily. "In fact, anyone who tries that will forfeit the challenge for their team automatically."

"Hmm, yeah, that skews a bit towards 'not worth it'," Virgil commented.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** This is good. I was in no way prepared to have to vote someone out so soon. Rowan and I still have time to skew things in the right direction.

 **Bunko:** Yay, Team I Don't Know is making a comeback! I was a little worried after we lost so bad the first time, but we've still got this! Go us!

* * *

Kun stumbled back up to the drawbridge.

"Urghhhh..." he groaned as he rubbed his head. "Why don't you, um, go get the marshmallow while I crank the bridge down?" he suggested to Liberty.

Liberty yawned. "Sure."

Liberty stepped aside and let Kun begin cranking the drawbridge down.

Gretchen had made it back from the other side of the drawbridge.

"Alright! Let's get back," Louise smiled.

"At least we're probably going to beat the Knights of Badness," Gretchen laughed.

"H-Hey! I resent that mocking, um, nickname!" Kun whined as the girls ran past him.

He glanced back at Liberty, who speed-walked across the bridge. Kun sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Louise got pretty easily distracted by Elmer before. Makes me wonder if I shouldn't cut her before Jim. The alpha couple _does_ tend to worm its way into protagonist status.

* * *

Rhiannon had started climbing the rock face again, while Dean slowly continued his way up.

"Don't look down, don't look down..." Dean told himself. He looked down and froze up.

"Dean, why did you tell yourself to look down?" Wisdom asked. "Don't you know people always look down when they do that?"

"S-Sorry," Dean stammered. "I'll, uh..." Dean forced himself to look back up, but his gaze immediately snapped back down.

"Rhiannon, I know you know better," Kirkland told his teammate.

"Of course," Rhiannon giggled. "Eyes on the prize. And I'll keep my eye on the marshmallow."

"Did she just tell you to look at her butt?" Wisdom asked Kirkland.

"Probably," Kirkland sighed.

Rhiannon managed to pass Dean and grab her team's marshmallow.

"I got it!" Rhiannon announced.

"Toss it down and I'll run it back!" Kirkland called back.

"Nice try. You still need to help me down," Rhiannon giggled.

"Can't I do that after the challenge?" Kirkland groaned.

Rhiannon shot Kirkland a look.

"I'm joking, geez!" Kirkland insisted indignantly.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Wisdom asked as Rhiannon began to rappel down.

"I'm... almost there," Dean insisted as he forced himself to keep climbing.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Just because I fuck for a living doesn't mean I can't pull my weight in a challenge. I have to have _some_ hobbies to fill out the PornHub bio, you know. _(she winks.)_

* * *

Tegan and Roxie continued ascending their respective towers.

"Center!" Roxie ordered Fred.

"Blue!" Tegan called to Hildegard.

Hildegard and Fred pressed the buttons as their partners called them out, extending bits of the staircase and allowing them to keep climbing.

"Almost there, Hilde!" Tegan cheered.

"How close are you, Roxie?!" Fred asked.

"I'm almost there, calm down," Roxie responded. "Now press red! Er, left!"

The two duos continued their work until both Tegan and Roxie made it to the top.

"Hurry down, little Tegan!" Hildegard encouraged. "We can win this challenge yet!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Tegan cheered as she ran down the tower, jumping over the gaps in the staircase.

"Never do that again!" Roxie called to Tegan as the loner made her way down.

"Do what?" Fred asked.

"Not you," Roxie sighed. She removed her mask and lit a cigarette. "We're good. Follow the smoke."

"Got it!" Fred nodded as he, Roxie, Hildegard, and Tegan made their way back to the start.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Little Tegan is a handful, but her energy translates well to challenges, methinks. When it doesn't prove too much, that is.

 **Roxie:** The smoke of guidance. Often thought the smoke of death. A bit ironic... He's okay with it. Most people simply are not. I'll count my blessings.

* * *

Gretchen, Louise, Kirkland, Rhiannon, Hildegard, Tegan, Fred, and Roxie had all made their way back to the starting area.

"And with all three marshmallows retrieved, Team I Don't Know takes second place for the challenge!" Chris announced.

"Wait, seriously?!" Fred beamed. "Hell yeah! Group hug!"

Fred hugged Jeremy. Jeremy laughed and hugged him back.

"We're just waiting on Kun and Liberty for the Knights of Goodness, and Dean and Wisdom for the Luscious Lollipops," Chris recapped.

"Ha! And Kun believes himself a leader," Hildegard scoffed amusedly.

"Of course it's Dean holding us back," Gretchen commented.

"The fine line between safety and danger hangs in the balance of those four," Chris continued. "I'd be stressing out right about now if I was on the Knights or the Lollipops. Hehaha."

"Wait, I hear someone coming," Shadya chimed in.

"You do?" Mark asked in disbelief.

Indeed, coming from one of the paths were a pair of contestants.

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"We, um, finally made it!" Kun announced.

"Yep," Liberty added.

"The Knights of Goodness win third place!" Chris announced.

"Oh thank god," Kirkland breathed a sigh of relief.

"I know, right?!" Tegan agreed as she glomped Kirkland.

"Nevermind, can I forfeit the challenge?" Kirkland added flatly.

Dean and Wisdom returned to the starting area with their marshmallow.

"Guys, I got the- WAHHH!" Dean tripped on a tree root.

"Sorry, Dean, you guys already lost. Hehaha," Chris informed him.

"O-Oh," Dean frowned.

"Now, obviously placing in the top three for the challenge guarantees Invincibility, but that's not all there is to it," Chris continued. "Rewards are on the line as well here on Whenua Island! The Best Team, for placing first, not only do you get Invincibility, but you'll also get blankets and pillows delivered to your camp."

"Finally, the camp will be suitable for Steve Jenkins," Steve Jenkins winked.

"Team I Don't Know, for getting second, you get to pick one: blankets _or_ pillows," Chris told the second-place team.

The six discussed it amongst themselves.

"We've decided on pillows," Elmer told Chris.

"Alright, pillows it is!" Chris acknowledged. "Knights of Goodness, your reward is simply not having to vote someone out tonight."

"I guess that's fair," Rhiannon figured.

"And, of course, Luscious Lollipops, you guys have a date with me at elimination tonight," Chris chuckled.

"Tch," Virgil emoted as he discarded his finished lollipop stick.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** I'm definitely a fan of the winning streak we've got going on. I dare say we could make it to the next island unscathed if we keep it up. Unless I decide to shake things up, of course. _(She winks to the camera.)_

 **Mark:** Things went a lot better than expected. I was kind of nervous going into our first challenge, but if all of them are that easy, then we shouldn't have anything to worry about.

 **Liberty:** Cool. Back to sleep.

 **Dean:** I feel like I'm responsible for our team's loss tonight. Why did I have to look down? I'm such an idiot!

* * *

Back by the Luscious Lollipop camp, Jim, Louise, and Virgil were out gathering supplies.

"So this basically confirms it, right?" Virgil asked. "That we're voting Dean out?"

"Let's not be hasty," Jim said. "We don't know it was him alone who lost the challenge for us. Wisdom could have had a hand in it, too. She's pretty tiny."

"Let's be real, it was Dean," Virgil chuckled. "Besides, we already discussed Dean before, right? This just simplifies things."

"I hate to say it, but I think Virgil's right," Louise agreed.

"Why do you hate to say it?" Virgil leered.

"It's not like that," Louise said as she rolled her eyes. "Dean seems like a good kid, he seems like he's trying hard."

"If that's him trying hard, then he should not stay on this team if it's going to cost us challenges," Virgil said.

"Yeah, I agree, I just feel bad," Louise clarified.

"Well, that's the game we signed up for," Jim said. "And I think we can all agree we'd rather lose Dean than, say, one of us, yeah? Because, I don't know about you guys, but I've got a lot to lose here and-"

"Hey, yeah, we understand," Louise said calmingly. "All agreed on Dean?"

Jim took a deep breath. "Yes."

"I've been onboard with voting him out from the start," Virgil mentioned.

"Hey, should we get a fourth vote, or...?" Jim asked. "Because if Dean, Gretchen, and Wisdom all vote together, it could tie, and one of us could lose the tiebreaker, and-"

"I'll talk to Gretchen," Louise said calmingly. "We clicked a bit at the start of the game, and I know she doesn't like Dean all that much."

"Sounds good," Virgil smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** It's a straightforward vote, but there's really no need to complicate things right out of the gate. Dean is holding us back, and he'd continue to do so if we kept him around.

 **Jim:** I'm really glad to have Louise on my side. She's no Sapphire, but she knows how stressed I am about all this, and it means a lot.

* * *

Back at the Luscious Lollipops camp proper, Gretchen had gathered Dean and Wisdom around the campfire.

"I just need to say, I'm really sorry that-" Dean began.

"No one cares, Dean," Gretchen interrupted. "Look, I've thought it over, and I think Jim is definitely the one who needs to go."

"Jim, huh?" Wisdom asked.

"Yeah, Jim," Gretchen repeated. "As far as I can tell, he's the one keeping Louise and Virgil working together. He's friends with Louise, and he's friends with Virgil, but I'm not sure Louise and Virgil are really friends with each other. If Jim goes, then those two will be powerless to stop us! Ahahahaha!"

"Do... Do protagonists usually laugh evilly after detailing their plans?" Dean asked.

"Oh my god, Dean, pay attention!" Gretchen shouted exasperatedly. "It's the 21st century and morally-grey protagonists are in right now!"

"Who would be our fourth vote?" Wisdom asked. "Aren't Louise and Virgil Jim's friends? Would they vote him out?"

"I'll talk to Louise," Gretchen insisted. "I think she still thinks I'm her friend from the start of the game. I'll tell her I'm planning a neat blindside on Virgil. Split the votes, you know?"

"Do you think that will work?" Wisdom asked unsurely.

"Of course it will! I'm the protagonist," Gretchen insisted. "The protagonist always votes right on their first vote."

"Is that right?" Wisdom asked.

"Well, I appreciate all the effort you're putting in to help me survive," Dean told Gretchen.

"Shut up, Dean," Gretchen said dismissively. She stood up. "Now if you excuse me, I've got a Louise to find."

"I'll come with you," Dean offered.

"Don't," Gretchen told him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Honestly, this is going a lot better than I expected my first vote to go. There's, I don't know, actually a chance I might not be the first boot. I expected a unanimous vote against me, I'm not going to lie. _(He chuckles awkwardly.)_

 **Wisdom:** ...How did Gretchen become the protagonist again?

* * *

Gretchen and Louise had gone to refill everyone's canteens together.

"So, hey, good news, I talked to Jim and Virgil, and they both want to vote out Dean," Louise told Gretchen.

"No kidding?" Gretchen asked. "As tempting as that is, I've actually got a juicier offer for you."

"Wait, what?" Louise asked. "I thought you wanted Dean gone."

"As much as I can't stand his constant aura of loser-ness, we can get rid of him whenever we want," Gretchen explained. "But consider this: we vote out Jim. He can and will be a huge threat if he sticks around. We need to strike while the iron is hot."

"No, I can't do that," Louise said with a shake of her head. "Jim's girlfriend is pregnant and he has no money or job. I can't vote him out."

"So, what, you'd prefer that he win over you? Don't be ridiculous," Gretchen countered. "If you and Jim were in the final two, would you just lie down and let him take the win?"

"I mean..." Louise began.

"Besides, who's to say everyone else won't use that same excuse to not vote him out?" Gretchen asked. "What if you and Jim are the only two targets, but everyone else thinks 'but Jim has a sad backstory, so we should keep him'. That kind of thing happens all the time, and it's infuriating!"

"Look, all I know is that Dean cost us the challenge today," Louise said. "Whereas Jim was the first one to finish his challenge for our team. If we vote Jim out, then we're even less likely to win challenges."

"And we can vote Dean out then," Gretchen said.

"I'm not bending on this," Louise said firmly.

"Well neither am I," Gretchen responded. "So unless you want to risk the dreaded tiebreaker rock drawing, you'd do well to consider my words."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Geez Louise, how can one person be so _dense_? I brought up the tiebreaker rock drawing, which is where, if there's a tie, and we revote, and that results in another tie, the people who weren't tied for the most votes have to draw rocks out of a bag, and the person with the differently colored rock is eliminated on the spot. That's no way for a protagonist to go home, let alone in the first elimination. Hmm...

 **Louise:** I thought Gretchen was cool, but here she is saying we should vote out Jim _because_ he's got a bad situation at home? How can you be so _heartless_? Although, I'd forgotten about the rock drawing. That would mean a one in four shot of me going home because Gretchen and I wouldn't budge. That... makes this a lot suckier.

* * *

Dean and Wisdom approached Jim.

"Hey, Jim, we've, uh, got something to tell you," Dean began.

"Huh? What's up?" Jim asked. "It wasn't my idea, I swear! It's just for the good of the team! It's nothing ag-"

"What are you talking about?" Wisdom asked as she cocked her head to the side.

"Uh, nothing," Jim said unconvincingly. "What did you have to tell me?"

"Well, Gretchen is gunning for you, and-" Dean began.

"What?! What did I do?" Jim gasped. "What's Grech- Why is she- What did- Why?!"

"Jim, why would we warn you if we were voting for you?" Wisdom asked.

"To get me to panic? To cushion the blow?" Jim guessed. "Those are complete opposites but they both make equal amounts of sense and I'm overthinking which one it is!"

"What if we voted off Gretchen?" Wisdom asked.

"...Wait, what?" Jim asked. "Are you... offering a deal to me?"

"It's not the worst idea. I think," Dean added. "She brings down morale a lot, and, you know, she's targeting you."

"I don't know. Louise and Virgil are pretty set on... uh... someone else," Jim stammered.

Dean's face grew anxious.

"Well, if it's just the three of us, that's still enough votes, right?" Wisdom guessed. "If they vote for this other person, and Gretchen votes for you, then three is the majority, yeah?"

"I don't know. That feels kind of dishonest," Jim admitted.

"Think about it, alright?" Dean asked.

"I will," Jim nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jim:** I have always thought that Gretchen would be the one to hold the team back, but then, the outcome of the challenge speaks a lot. Oh god, why did I have to be given a dilemma on the first vote? This game doesn't want to make itself easy for me, does it?

 **Dean:** A lot is riding on this plan. Whether or not Jim goes with it could be the difference between me staying in the game, or being the first boot. _(He takes a deep breath.)_ Here goes nothing.

* * *

Night had fallen, and Dean, Gretchen, Jim, Louise, Virgil, and Wisdom all met up with Chris at the campfire pit where the campers first met up at the start of the game. Torches surrounding the area were lit, as was the campfire himself.

"Luscious Lollipops... you were doing so well, but alas, here we are, at the first campfire ceremony of the season," Chris said. "Louise, what was the difference between yesterday and today that led to such a drop in performance?"

"I don't think it was anything in particular," Louise answered. "I think we just had better luck yesterday than today."

"Yesterday's challenge was all luck," Virgil added. "Today's challenge was our first real test of skill outside of maintaining camp. The results speak for themselves."

"So, Virgil, you think the Luscious Lollipops just aren't as skilled as the other teams?" Chris asked.

"Well, one person, in particular, isn't," Virgil said as he opened a bag of sour gummi worms and began snacking. "Dean is the reason we lost today. No two ways about it."

"Dean, do you feel responsible for your team's loss today?" Chris asked.

"I do," Dean admitted. "I messed up, and I'll own up to that."

"So, Gretchen, does that make the vote easy?" Chris asked. "Dean's holding you back, so logically, you should cut him, right?"

"Chris, you've hosted how many seasons of this show?" Gretchen asked condescendingly. "You should know by now that the vote is never that easy. There is never just one target in any given vote. Obviously, Dean won't be voting for himself."

"Jim, what other factors might play into the vote tonight?" Chris asked.

"Challenge performance is always a factor," Jim half-answered. "But the social game also means a lot. Morale can mean the difference between winning and losing just as much as actual skill can."

"Wisdom, do you think the person going home tonight will be surprised by the result?" Chris asked.

"They usually are, aren't they?" Wisdom asked. "Who truly knows what goes on in the heads of all six members of our team? Is anything really certain?"

"With that uplifting sentiment, it's time to vote!" Chris announced. "Virgil, you're up."

Virgil stood up and made his way to the nearby confessional.

* * *

After all six contestants had voted, Chris returned with a platter of five marshmallows.

"You have cast your votes and made your decisions," Chris smiled ominously. "One by one, I will call your names and toss you marshmallows. If you receive a marshmallow, you are safe. One of you will not receive a marshmallow. That person will be eliminated from Total Drama Shuffle Party."

The Luscious Lollipops all glanced at each other.

"The first marshmallow goes to... Wisdom!" Chris announced.

Wisdom wore a blank look on her face as Chris tossed her a marshmallow, which landed in her lap.

"Virgil!" Chris continued.

"Damn straight," Virgil smirked as he caught his marshmallow and shoved it in his mouth.

"Louise!" Chris confirmed as he tossed her a marshmallow.

Louise smiled as she held onto her marshmallow.

Dean, Gretchen, and Jim looked at Chris in eager anticipation.

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"Gretchen!" Chris continued.

"Wait, but..." Jim stammered.

Dean's teeth began chattering.

"The final marshmallow goes to..." Chris began.

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"Dean!"

Dean fainted. The marshmallow Chris tossed landed on his unconscious body.

"What the hell?!" Virgil snapped.

"You... You lied to me!" Jim accused Wisdom.

"Did I?" Wisdom asked airily.

"You told me you were voting for Gretchen!" Jim snapped.

"When did I do that?" Wisdom asked. "Did my offer ever explicitly say I would vote for her?"

"You...!" Jim burst into tears before he could continue. "Sapphire, I..."

Louise patted Jim's shoulder.

"Jim, you have been eliminated from the game," Chris smiled. "If you'll make your way to the new Dock of Shame and the new Boat of Losers..."

Jim sighed as he slumped his way to the Dock of Shame, where the Boat of Losers was docked awaiting its passenger. He didn't look at his teammates as he boarded the Boat, which took off as soon as he did so.

"Well, if this campfire ceremony proved anything, it's that anyone can truly go at any time," Chris told the five remaining Luscious Lollipops. "Head back to camp. We're done here tonight."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Did... Did _Wisdom_ convince Jim to vote for me to split the vote?! Wisdom is supposed to be an irrelevant side character who does whatever I tell her! I'm going to be having a word with her.

* * *

Chris stood on the Dock of Shame after the Luscious Lollipops had left and looked at the camera.

"Our first elimination, full of tears and accusations! Hehaha," Chris laughed. "How will Jim's blindside affect the dynamics of the Lollipops from here on out? Who will ultimately take charge of the Knights of Goodness? Will any big drama break out on Team I Don't Know? Will The Best Team keep up their winning streak? The answers to these questions and more, may or may not be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Louise:** You know what, even if I do lose to the random rock drawing, at least I'll have lost doing what I know in my heart is right. I won't betray my friends, and I'm voting for Dean tonight.

 **Gretchen:** Sorry, Jim, but this town ain't big enough for the two of us. Tell Sapphire I said hi, won't you?

 **Virgil:** There's no sense in keeping Dean around. _(he eats a handful of sour gummi worms)_ My teeth are going to rot out of my skull out here. But it's worth it.

 **Dean:** I really hope Wisdom's plan works. Sorry, but I'm voting for Jim. Nothing against you, I just, you know, don't really want to lose.

 **Wisdom:** Why would I betray Gretchen only to leave Jim's alliance in power? What good would that do me? Why not dismantle Jim's alliance and take the majority? And what better way to do that than to vote out Jim?

 **Jim:** You know what? If Dean and Wisdom want to make it easier for me and the others to vote them out in the future, I'll take it. I'm voting for Gretchen. I hope Louise and Virgil won't be mad that I'm going behind their backs. Oh my god, they will, won't they?

* * *

 _A/N: Jim was not a character I had considered for a potential first boot during the planning stages, but, as I've mentioned before in past fics, my boot orders change around a lot when the season goes from planning to execution. As the dynamics of the characters began to take shape, having Jim as a first boot suddenly made a lot of sense, and I thought it would be an interesting move to make._

 _Jim went in poised to be a mainstay who was destined for the merge at least, as a relatively capable guy who made fast friends with other relatively capable players, but at the end of the day, Jim's boot signifies that votes are what really matter in the end and that just one vote out of place can make all the difference, no matter how safe things look going in. I liked writing little nuances to Jim's character, like his paranoia and wanting to play a strong game for his girlfriend's sake, but in the end, those are the things that spelled his doom._


	4. I'm Not Four Years Old Anymore

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the Dock of Shame. "In our last episode, our contestants began playing the long-term game. On The Best Team, Nestor and Rowan began plotting to get rid of Shadya, attempting to turn Steve Jenkins against her. On the Luscious Lollipops, Gretchen roped Dean and Wisdom into an alliance to counter the trio of Jim, Louise, and Virgil. On the Knights of Goodness, Kirkland, Kun, and Rhiannon all vied for Liberty's loyalty, with mixed results. On Team I Don't Know, Hiram expressed a disdain towards Fred, while Elmer teamed up with Fred.

"The teams split into pairs to divide and conquer three different smaller challenges. The Best Team were the clear frontrunners, thanks in no small part to their advantage they won from the first challenge, but Team I Don't Know managed to get in some good time as well. It was a close race, but in the end, the Luscious Lollipops fell behind, forcing one of them to be the first boot. Jim's alliance had Dean in their sights, while Gretchen's alliance had Jim in their sights. Thanks to Wisdom tricking Jim into voting for Gretchen, the desperate father-to-be got the most votes against him, sending him home.

"What will happen amongst the Luscious Lollipops now? Will the other teams have to succumb to elimination? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The five remaining Luscious Lollipops returned to camp.

"What the hell was that?!" Virgil snapped. He approached Dean. "What did you do?!"

"M-Me?!" Dean panicked.

"Obviously Dean isn't smart enough to pull off a move like that," Gretchen commented. "Think about it. You know you didn't flip, right Virgil? And obviously, Jim didn't flip."

"...Hey, wait a minute!" Louise realized. "You're not trying to pin this on me, are you? Because I'm just as lost as Virgil, here."

"Actually, didn't Jimmy Beans say something about a deal with Strawberry, here?" Virgil remembered as he pointed to Wisdom.

"...Huh?" Wisdom asked as if she hadn't been paying attention.

"What deal did you make with Jimmy Beans to get him to flip?" Virgil leered.

"Does it matter what I said to Jim?" Wisdom mused. "Does knowing the exact details of what we discussed in the past truly affect the present? The future?"

"Wisdom's right," Dean said. "Jim's gone now. There's nothing we can do about that but try harder in the next challenge."

"Don't even get me started," Virgil spat. "You're the reason we lost, remember? It should have been you to go."

"Look, we're all upset about what happened. I get it," Louise mediated. "Let's use that passion to drive us towards winning tomorrow! And make sure we never have to vote anyone out again."

"Yeah, I agree," Gretchen said. "Voting once was fun, but I'd rather not do it again for a while, you know?"

"I'm taking a walk," Virgil told his teammates as he left the scene.

"Stay safe," Louise frowned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I'm so pissed right now. Jimmy Beans was neurotic, but he wasn't a bad guy. He kept the team strong. And now what have we got? Strawberry? Sour Grapes? Freaking _Dean_? Ugh, I just... What kind of _idiocy_?!

 **Wisdom:** Will Virgil continue to be blinded by rage? Will he come to resent me for simply trying to keep my ally safe? And why does he keep calling me Strawberry if he's cross with me? It sounds so endearing, doesn't it?

 **Louise:** I'm just not a fan of conflict, or, like, negative emotions in general, so tonight was not a good first impression of an elimination ceremony. I always kind of assumed my first vote would be an easy vote for someone that everyone wanted to see gone, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I won't let it keep me down, though! I just need to dust myself off and keep moving forward.

* * *

Morning shone over the cave housing the Knights of Goodness. Hildegard exited the cave and began stretching.

"O, most lovely morn!" Hildegard smiled. "I eagerly await today's caress!"

Liberty approached the campfire with a bundle of sticks in her arms.

"Liberty? Awakest thou so soon?" Hildegard queried.

"Huh?" Liberty flinched. "I, uh... What happened to your helmet?"

Hildegard felt the top of her head. Sure enough, her helmet had gone.

"Odd. Must have left it in the cave," Hildegard figured.

"Eh," Liberty shrugged. She dumped the pile of sticks on the fire and returned to the cave just as Rhiannon and Kun exited.

"Was that Liberty, awake, on purpose?" Rhiannon asked Hildegard.

"Perhaps," Hildegard thought aloud.

"She can't, um, sleep 24/7," Kun figured. "She may have tended to camp overnight."

"That'd explain the mango husk she just left here," Rhiannon giggled as she picked up the discarded fruit leftovers and tossed them in the fire.

Kirkland lumbered out of the cave with an annoyed look on his face. Tegan, still fast asleep, had wrapped her arms and legs around him from behind.

"Looks like someone made a friend," Rhiannon joked.

"Hildegard, by any chance are you willing to impale me and this hellspawn with that spear of yours?" Kirkland droned.

"Nay! My holy lance is for defending our camp and for hunting beasts which we dine," Hildegard answered.

"Defend our camp from _her_ , please," Kirkland seethed as he tried prying Tegan off of him, with minimal results.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** _(She shrugs.)_ I got bored and felt like exploring. Figured I'd bring some firewood or something to get the others off my back.

 **Kirkland:** I don't know what Tegan's obsession with me is all about, but all it's doing is making me more and more eager to vote her out. I swear, I'm this close to finding somewhere else to sleep just so she won't latch onto me again. I feel nauseous just thinking about it.

 **Tegan:** Teehee. Kirkityland is a funny! And who doesn't like a funny? I love love love love a funny so so so much! They make me XD. _(She tries recreating an XD face with her actual face.)_

* * *

Team I Don't Know ate breakfast around the campfire - more nuts and berries.

"Thanks again for getting breakfast for us, Mark," Elmer complimented.

"Oh, no problem," Mark responded. "I'm happy to provide for my team."

"Hey, didn't you say you were going to get a hunting stick and kill us some meat or something?" Fred asked. "How's that coming along?"

"Be grateful for what you have," Hiram frowned. "I didn't see you helping collect food."

"I was asleep!" Fred insisted. "I could totally provide for the team if Mark didn't keep beating me to the punch!"

"Such foolish bluster. Blind in both sight and mind. You yield no results," Roxie commented.

"Yeah, if you're so confident in yourself, then _you_ catch us some more food," Hiram leered.

"Hey, Roxie, that was a haiku!" Bunko pointed out.

"A what?" Roxie asked harshly.

"A haiku! It's a kind of poem that Japan invented," Bunko explained. "Five syllables, then seven, then five. Not as fun as caricatures, but they're neat."

"Never heard of it," Roxie said as she put her mask on.

"Really?" Elmer asked in disbelief.

"Either way, it was a coincidence," Roxie stated. "Mind your own business, Bunko."

"Hey! Bunko was just sharing a fun fact with us!" Hiram snapped. "Leave her alone!"

Everyone looked awkwardly at Hiram, except Fred who faced Hiram but of course could not look at him.

"...What? There's no need to be rude," Hiram frowned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hiram:** There's never a need to be rude to Bunko. She's the nicest person in the game, and she'd never hurt a fly. What did she do to deserve Roxie dismissing her like that?

 **Bunko:** I was born in Japan, you know. My parents grew up there, too, of course. We moved to Canada before I could really remember, but my parents still taught me all about Japanese culture. I know a haiku when I hear one.

 **Roxie:** _(She is smoking a cigarette.)_ Fred's an idiot. And I guess Hiram hates me. This team is so screwed... Ugh, freaking Bunko. I was dreading this topic. Won't elaborate.

* * *

The Best Team, as a group of six, searched through the forest for supplies.

"Are you sure one of us shouldn't have stuck by camp to watch the fire?" Ginger asked.

"Even if our fire should burn out, we can ignite it once again through the flames of passion!" Jeremy proclaimed.

"I want to build a sense of camaraderie between our team members," Shadya stated. "I want to re-emphasize that we are a team and that all six of us bring something to the table."

"Especially me!" Steve Jenkins chimed in.

"Yes, whatever you say," Shadya said dismissively.

"I knew she'd come around," Steve Jenkins whispered to Rowan.

"You're getting there," Rowan told him. "You'll take your true position as head of the team, yet."

"So what are we on the lookout for, babes?" Nestor asked Shadya. "We already have blankets and pillows. What else do we need?"

"More materials in case we need to repair the shelter," Shadya began listing. "More food to keep our energy up and hunger down. Making valuable memories as we explore the island together."

"No kidding?" Nestor asked skeptically.

"Shadya is more than just a badass! She has empathy out the wazoo as well!" Jeremy mentioned proudly.

Shadya sighed. "Thank you, Jeremy."

Rowan glanced at Jeremy with a sly smirk.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** I've made it my goal to make Steve Jenkins want to overthrow Shadya as the team leader. Once he makes his intentions public, and Shadya begins to oppose him, then Jeremy will obviously force himself into the conflict, and I know Nestor's been working on Ginger... And here I thought turning everyone against each other would be difficult. _(She chuckles daintily.)_

 **Shadya:** Jeremy is obviously a fan of mine, which is nice as far as having a loyal ally is concerned, but he keeps feeling the need to decide what's best for me or step in to speak for me like I'm some princess who can't do things for herself. Isn't the fact that I can do things for myself the whole reason he's a fan in the first place? I need to talk with him about this.

 **Ginger:** I didn't want to make memories bonding with people nor did I want to exert myself before we have a challenge and it's actually necessary. The only reason I went along with the others is in case they all suddenly decided as a collective to vote me off. Hey, you never know!

* * *

Gretchen led Wisdom to a part of the forest away from camp.

"Okay, we need to talk about last night's vote," Gretchen said sternly.

"Why are you upset?" Wisdom asked. "The vote went the way you wanted, right?"

"It's not about _how_ the vote turned out, it's about... how it... What did you go behind my back for?!" Gretchen snapped.

"What's wrong with going the extra mile to make sure things go according to plan?" Wisdom figured.

"I was doing just fine telling Louise to vote for Jim!" Gretchen insisted.

"Jim? Didn't you say you were going to tell her to vote for Virgil?" Wisdom asked. "Did you really think Louise would vote for Jim?"

"Look, I don't need your back-talk right now, missy," Gretchen glowered.

"Is that any way to treat your ally?" Wisdom asked. "Is that any way to treat the person who ensured you held the majority on this team?"

"Don't get self-righteous with me. It's not a good look on you," Gretchen scoffed.

"Any worse than it looks on you?" Wisdom asked.

"I don't have to take this!" Gretchen declared as she stormed off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Of all the smug, condescending little... Okay, deep breaths, Gretchen. Having literally the worst possible allies in the game does wonders for your underdog status. People like an underdog. Roll with the punches.

 **Wisdom:** When will Gretchen accept that she isn't very good at this game and that she needs Dean and me more than we need her?

* * *

Rhiannon sat next to a sleeping Liberty in the Knights of Goodness cave, absentmindedly running her fingers through the sleepyhead's hair when Kun entered.

"Um, may I speak with the two of you?" Kun asked.

"Hey, Liberty, sweetie," Rhiannon said softly as she shook Liberty awake. "Kun wants to talk to us."

"I don't wannaaaaaaa..." Liberty moaned.

"He won't be long," Rhiannon told Liberty as she glanced at Kun.

"I just, um, was wondering what you two thought of Hildegard in regards to, um, her potential role as team leader when compared to mine," Kun said.

"You both suck," Liberty griped as she sat up.

"But, um, she sucks more, yes?" Kun coaxed.

"Eh," Liberty responded.

"Well, um, I would like to offer that we vote out Hildegard at our earliest convenience," Kun continued.

"I thought we were voting Tegan or whoever," Liberty mentioned.

"Tegan?" Kun asked. "When did this happen? Did Hildegard put you up to it?"

"Kun. Tegan and Hildegard are friends," Rhiannon reminded him. "But, since you asked, Kirkland has been pushing to get rid of her."

"...Oh. I see," Kun said pensively. "And, um, what do you think of Kirkland?"

"As a person or as someone who might vote for Hildegard?" Rhiannon asked.

"As a person," Kun answered.

"He's kind of sour, but I don't think he's actively malicious," Rhiannon said.

"Hm," Kun emoted. "Well, um, thanks for talking, Rhiannon. Liberty."

Liberty had already fallen back asleep.

"No problem," Rhiannon winked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Perhaps I may have, um, misestimated my competition for, um, team leader. From what I have gathered, it seems as though only Tegan seems to hold Hildegard in any sort of high regard. But if Kirkland is already pushing to get the vote his way... that may prove detrimental to my leadership. They may see him as the man in charge. I may, um, need to do something about this.

 **Rhiannon:** The others can go around with their rivalries and all that, but I'm _more_ than content to get friendly with everyone. And for once I mean that perfectly platonically. People are more inclined to listen to people who listen to them, you know.

 **Liberty:** Urgh... Why can't people just talk about votes after we lose and it's actually relevant?

* * *

Bunko and Hiram strolled along the beach near their campsite.

"This is nice," Hiram smiled. "I never get to do things like this back home. I don't really have any beaches. Or friends."

"What?!" Bunko gasped.

"Yeah, I live in Saskatchewan, and we don't have any oceans," Hiram explained.

"Not that. What do you mean you don't have friends?" Bunko frowned.

"Well, I have my mommy," Hiram mentioned.

"But besides that?" Bunko asked.

"Nope," Hiram said as he shook his head. "I'm not really one to put myself out there. Frankly, I'm surprised you and Mark were so willing to help me out in that first challenge, let alone afterward."

"Of course!" Bunko said with a big smile. "You're a sweet guy, Hiram. I'm proud to call you my friend."

Hiram's face turned bright red. The tender moment was interrupted when Fred ran directly into Hiram from behind, knocking both boys to the ground.

"Ah!" Bunko gasped. "Are you guys alright?"

"Fred! What was that?!" Hiram snapped.

"Heh. Sorry, fam," Fred apologized as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Just going on a jog. What are you guys up to?"

"Taking a nice walk on the beach," Bunko said cheerily. "Want to join us?"

"Nah, I want to get a feel for my surroundings so I can get around without trying to smell cigarettes," Fred declined.

"Good luck! I know you can do it!" Bunko chirped.

"Thanks, B!" Fred grinned as he resumed his jog... directly into the ocean.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** It's so inspiring that I have teammates who are coming out of their shells like they are! Hiram is really shy, Fred is blind, and Mark has amnesia. Roxie's a tough nut to crack, but there's no nut that can't be busted!

 **Fred:** I hate having to rely on anyone for anything, and that includes Roxie with her "follow the smoke" nonsense! If I can map out the places surrounding the camp in my head, I won't need her anymore.

 **Hiram:** Listen to Fred. Calling her "B" like they're such close friends. Who does he think he is? I just want him to get lost. Literally.

* * *

Rowan ascended the mountain path up to camp when she began to overhear a conversation.

"Jeremy, we need to talk," she heard Shadya say.

"I would love to," she heard Jeremy say.

"What have we here?" Rowan muttered to herself as she kept herself hidden.

"I understand that you look up to me and my accomplishments in mountaineering, but I don't feel comfortable with the pedestal you've put me on," Shadya told Jeremy.

"I... don't understand," Jeremy frowned, taken aback. "You've always been proud of your accomplishments."

"Of course I am. Who wouldn't be?" Shadya said. "But the mentality that I'm stronger and smarter than everyone, though entirely correct, is going to cause the other five members of this team to think as though I'm the only one on the team that matters, which could cause them to start slacking, which could cost us challenges."

"Everybody matters and everybody can do whatever they desire!" Jeremy declared. "...You're right, though. I guess I'm just so starstruck meeting someone who's climbed Everest. Even I haven't done that yet."

"I may be skilled in myriad ways, but I am still only one person," Shadya reminded him. "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, and I want to keep our links strong."

"And we are all strong in our own ways!" Jeremy said proudly. "But not as strong as you!"

Shadya glared at him.

"Er, sorry. Force of habit," Jeremy chuckled.

"Interesting..." Rowan muttered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** Those two settled that awfully quickly, but there is definitely still some friction there that could be used to generate heat, which could... spark a flame if you will. I'm sure I could think of some way to use this to plant ideas in Jeremy's head, I'm just not sure of how exactly to do that, yet. Either way, those two are a dangerous duo that I do not want to stick together.

 **Shadya:** Of course I was aware of the possibility of someone out here recognizing me, but I was not expecting... well, Jeremy. I put it in a way he would understand. The truth is I just find his obsession with me to be not only creepy and annoying, but potentially detrimental. If everyone else sees me as the massive threat that I am, it could make me a target.

 **Jeremy:** Shadya is living proof that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to! She is a symbol of everything I believe in and hold dear to myself. So I guess it is kind of easy to get carried away with her. I'd hate for her to get mad at me, though, so I'll do what I can to bring it down a notch.

* * *

Louise sat down in her team's shelter, eating a granola bar.

"One upside of Jim not being here: I can eat these without him telling me I shouldn't," Louise told herself.

"Oh, are we allowed to eat the granola bars, now?" Dean asked as he walked up to her.

"Might as well, right?" Louise told him. "We need to keep our strength up."

"True," Dean agreed as he took a granola bar from the team's box.

"Not that one!" Louise shouted.

"Ack!" Dean flinched as he dropped the bar.

"Sorry. Virgil called dibs on the cranberry ones," Louise explained.

"Right," Dean said awkwardly.

"So, you're working with Gretchen, huh?" Louise asked.

"Yeah, sorry," Dean apologized. "I don't know who she wants out next. If it were up to me, it'd be Virgil."

"No kidding?" Virgil asked from behind Dean.

"Ack!" Dean jumped.

"Virgil! Don't scare the poor kid," Louise scolded.

"He literally just said he wants to vote me out," Virgil said flatly.

"Sorry," Dean moped.

"What if I offered another option?" Louise asked.

"What?" Dean and Virgil asked in unison.

"Dean, do you enjoy working for Gretchen?" Louise asked.

"I mean..." Dean non-answered.

"I think the three of us should vote her off," Louise said.

"You're joking," Virgil grunted. "I'm voting for Dean next time we lose. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."

"Well, I can't really argue with that," Dean said.

Louise sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** I was hoping to pull Dean into my alliance with Virgil so we could get rid of Gretchen. She treats him horribly, and he just lets her walk all over him. It's terrible. What awful luck, Virgil showing up at the worst possible time. I hope I can keep Dean convinced to get rid of Gretchen.

 **Dean:** Yeah, Gretchen picks on me, but so do a lot of people, so it's not a big deal to me. Besides, at least she offered to keep me safe if I voted with her. I don't think Virgil really has the same sentiment. Nothing against Louise, but I don't see us working out as allies.

 **Virgil:** I mean, yeah, Sour Grapes is really annoying, but even she pulls her weight around camp and in challenges more than Dean does. We can vote her out _after_ we get rid of Dean.

* * *

Kirkland had climbed to the top of the waterfall that fell over his team's cave and sat by the stream, looking out over the campfire. Hildegard returned to camp after a bout of hunting, with a freshly-caught rabbit pierced on the head of her spear.

"Soft, Kirkland!" Hildegard called.

"Shh!" Kirkland shushed harshly. "Don't alert her to where I am."

"If thou referest to little Tegan, I lost her during our hunting excursion," Hildegard admitted.

"Good call not searching for her," Kirkland chuckled. "Looks like that's not the first thing you've lost today."

"Ay, my holy helm appears to have been misplaced," Hildegard admitted. "As for Tegan, I trust she can find her way back. I felt it best to cook this before it goes bad." She removed the rabbit from her spear and approached the campfire.

"Why do you put up with Tegan, anyway?" Kirkland scoffed.

"She is but a young chick, rife with energy" Hildegard excused. "I hold no enmity towards children."

"Children are one thing. Tegan is a whole other beast," Kirkland seethed.

"Rawr!" Tegan shouted as she jumped out of a bush. "I was here all along!"

"I did trowest you could return," Hildegard smiled.

"Kirkland! I said rawr!" Tegan pouted.

"I heard you the first time!" Kirkland shouted back.

"Why didn't you say rawr back?" Tegan frowned.

"Because I'm not four years old anymore," Kirkland snarked.

Tegan burst into tears.

"Shame on thee, Kirkland, making a lady cry!" Hildegard scolded.

"I didn't do anything!" Kirkland said exasperatedly.

"'Rawr' means 'I love you' in dinosaur!" Hildegard informed him angrily.

"First of all, why do you know that?" Kirkland asked. "Secondly, even if I knew that, I don't love her. I have made this publicly known."

Tegan sobbed harder. Hildegard pulled her in for a hug and patted her on the shoulder. She glared at Kirkland. Kirkland rolled his eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tegan:** I changed my mind! Kirkityland is NOT a funny! He's just a MEANIE!

 **Kirkland:** Yeah, great, Tegan stalks me, harasses me, grabs me in my sleep, refuses to listen when I tell her to stop, and somehow _I'm_ the bad guy! Screw Tegan, screw Hildegard, I'm firmly in the camp of "Kun for team leader".

 **Hildegard:** If thou asketh me, Kirkland is but jealous of little Tegan still having her youthful innocence and lust for life. I can only hope the bitter taste in his mouth does not ruin the taste of the rabbit I caught.

* * *

Elmer, Mark, and Roxie sat around the campfire at their campsite.

"So, Elmer, what's life like back at home?" Mark inquired. "Not remembering my own past has made me curious about everyone else's."

"Oh, well..." Elmer thought about it. "I lead a relatively quiet life. I get good grades, and I'm really good at math in particular. I'll be honest, I don't have a whole lot to give you."

"What about Louise?" Roxie mentioned.

"Hey, I'm not just 'Louise's boyfriend', you know," Elmer huffed.

"The fact that you're dating another contestant is the most interesting thing about you that I know of," Roxie stated.

"Well, how about this," Elmer twitched. "I'll demonstrate my brain power right now. I think we should all be in an alliance."

"An alliance?" Mark asked.

"Yes, I think we should all vote the same way every time we're up for elimination," Elmer explained.

"...I'm confused," Mark admitted. "What purpose does that serve?"

"It ensures that none of us will be voted out on the off chance that we do lose," Elmer explained.

"So we'd have to vote for Fred, Bunko, or Hiram, right?" Mark pieced together.

"Look, I know you're friends with Bunko and Hiram, but in this game, you want strong allies," Elmer said. "Allies who can keep you safe when it comes down to it. Roxie's tough, and I'm smart. Bunko and Hiram, well..."

Elmer glanced at the shelter, where Bunko and Hiram were sitting and playing patty-cake.

"I'm feeling some sort of weird emotion," Mark admitted. "Confliction, I guess you could call it."

"That's understandable," Roxie said. "But hey, we don't have to vote for anyone right now. You have time to think about it."

"I suppose," Mark nodded. "So, Roxie, what's your past like?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Roxie smirked beneath her gas mask.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I'm in a pretty bad position out here: on the outs of my team, separated from my girlfriend that everyone knows about and will probably target me for sooner or later. But I'm going to do my damnedest to get out of that position. I didn't come here for twenty-third place.

 **Mark:** It's strange. I feel a bond with Bunko and Hiram, like I can trust them, even though I've only known them for a few days. But I'm supposed to vote them out because they aren't very strong? Something about that just doesn't make sense, but I can't place what.

 **Roxie:** Alas, poor Elmer. He knows he's screwed if we lose. He probably is... Of course, he's not wrong. But he isn't right, either. How will this play out?

* * *

Ginger sojourned to the beach nearest her team's camp with everyone's water canteens, where she found Steve Jenkins admiring his reflection in the sea.

"Having fun?" Ginger quipped.

"Totally," Steve Jenkins grinned. "Hey, you're that robot girl, right?"

"Firstly, the name's Ginger, it's nice to meet you," Ginger said caustically.

"I'm Steve Jenkins," Steve Jenkins introduced.

"Secondly, I build robots. I myself am not a 'robot girl' per se," Ginger continued.

"...I don't get it," Steve Jenkins shrugged.

"Never mind," Ginger dismissed as she began refilling everyone's canteens.

"Say, what do you think about Shady?" Steve Jenkins inquired.

"Who?" Ginger asked. "Oh, Shadya? She's whatever."

"I don't care about your opinion of her," Steve Jenkins frowned. "The only personal opinion of yours that matters is your opinion of Steve Jenkins. I meant what do you think about her trying to act like the team belongs to her."

"I'm pretty sure the only one who genuinely believes that she runs the team is Jeremy," Ginger answered.

"Thank you!" Steve Jenkins agreed. "Obviously this is the team of Steve Jenkins."

"Hey, guys," Nestor greeted as he arrived on scene. "What's going on?"

"Nothing of value," Ginger answered.

"I thought I heard some tea on Jeremy and Shadya," Nestor said interestedly.

"Jeremy's a doofus and Shadya's full of herself," Ginger commented.

"Yeah, what lamers," Steve Jenkins chuckled.

"I thought you were into Shadya," Nestor told Steve Jenkins.

"She's cute, but anyone who thinks they're better than Steve Jenkins is just wrong," Steve Jenkins clarified.

Ginger and Nestor shared a skeptical glance.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I'm aligned with Jeremy and Shadya, but that doesn't mean I'm not aware of their shortcomings. I'm aware of their shortcomings, but that doesn't mean I'm keen to just flip on them right away. I'll wait until the mid-merge to do that.

 **Nestor:** I'm getting sketchy vibes from Ginger. I feel like she's going to be an issue if she sticks around, but is she a higher priority target than Shadya? I'm thinking not, but I'll keep an eye on that one.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Man, that's a relief. I was afraid Shady thought she was running the place, but my team's smarter than that. You don't just have Steve Jenkins on your team and _not_ listen blindly to everything he says.

* * *

The twenty-three contestants met up with Chris by the giant oak tree in the center of the island. Next to Chris were four small pedestals, each bolstering a large bowl with a different team's color.

"Welcome to your next challenge, contestants!" Chris introduced. "Winning teams, as you can see, Jim was voted out at last night's campfire ceremony."

Elmer breathed a sigh of relief.

"You seem relieved, Elmer," Chris commented.

"Well, er, Jim seemed like a big threat to win," Elmer explained.

"Oh. I thought you would have been happy that your girlfriend wasn't voted out," Bunko said cluelessly.

"Well, yes, that too," Elmer blushed.

Louise gave Elmer a confused look.

"Virgil, is losing Jim going to affect your team positively or negatively overall?" Chris asked.

"Well, Cupcake, everyone has a reason for casting the specific vote they do," Virgil responded sourly. "Jimmy Beans wouldn't be gone if a majority of people didn't somehow benefit from him going."

"Anyway, let's get to our next challenge!" Chris continued. "Like I said at the start of the game, Whenua Island is an island of the earth's bounty, and that means that all kinds of flora and plant life grow here."

"Don't 'flora' and 'plant life' mean the same thing?" Wisdom pointed out.

"It was for effect, smarty-pants," Chris said flatly. "Anyway, Whenua Island, with its fertile soil and humid climate, is home to all sorts of tropical plants. Your challenge today is a scavenger hunt. Your job is simply to find and retrieve three different fruit native to the island: a banana, a mango, and a dragonfruit. Place one of each in your team's bowl. The first three teams to do so will win Invincibility. Best Team, Team I Don't Know, and Knights of Goodness, since you all have an extra member, you'll have to sit someone out. The Best Team cannot sit out Ginger or Nestor since they sat out of the last one."

"I shall take respite for our team today!" Hildegard announced.

"...Wait, hey!" Liberty objected.

"Thou shan't worm thy way out of contributing so easily," Hildegard told Liberty.

"I will sit out of this one," Shadya volunteered.

"How come?" Rowan asked.

"This challenge doesn't require my skills," Shadya explained. "I trust you can win without me."

"Obviously, Fred is sitting out of this one, right?" Hiram asked.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" Fred snapped.

"It's a scavenger hunt, genius," Roxie commented. "Eyesight is literally the only thing you need to be able to contribute."

"If you sit out today, you'll be guaranteed to play in tomorrow's challenge," Bunko reminded him with a smile.

"Ugh. Fine," Fred reluctantly agreed.

"Alright, Hildegard, Shadya, and Fred will sit out," Chris announced. "Everyone else, the challenge starts... now!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Ah, fruit. Nature's candy. Actually, that's a terrible nickname for it, because no fruit comes anywhere near as close to being as delicious as candy. Except _maybe_ pineapple.

 **Hildegard:** I made Liberty join my team so that I could whip her into shape, something I have neglected of late! The rest of my team is such a handful as it is.

 **Fred:** I don't know what Hiram's deal is, but I feel like the dude doesn't like me. I didn't do anything to him! I don't think I've even spoken to him one-on-one before!

 **Shadya:** It's just as Bunko said: if I sit out of this one, I will have to compete in the next one. If we sit out a strong member today, we won't have to use a weak member tomorrow, as opposed to sitting out a weak member today and having to use them tomorrow. It's all about strategic sacrifices, so to speak.

* * *

The teams huddled to discuss strategies.

"Obviously, we'll be splitting up," Gretchen told her team. "Three fruit, and five of us. I'm thinking two pairs and one solo."

"That makes sense," Louise agreed.

"Wouldn't all of us going solo make more sense?" Wisdom asked.

"Two people can look through an area more thoroughly," Gretchen explained. "Anyway, Dean, you're coming with me."

"I am?" Dean asked as Gretchen grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off.

"You want to come with me, Virgil?" Louise offered.

Virgil shrugged. "Whatever," he agreed.

The two went off in a different direction from Dean and Gretchen. Wisdom, being left alone, took a third direction.

"I'm going with Libby!" Tegan announced.

"Who are you?" Liberty asked.

"I'm Tegan, silly billy!" Tegan giggled.

"Ohhhhhhhhh. That makes a lot of sense," Liberty realized.

"On that note, I'd prefer to work alone," Kirkland told his team as he left the scene.

"Good!" Tegan spat.

"I suppose that would leave, um, you and me," Kun told Rhiannon.

"I guess so~" Rhiannon purred.

"Please don't-" Liberty started before Tegan tackle-hugged Liberty and ran away with her.

Kun and Rhiannon shared a look before making their own way away.

"It looks like the other teams are splitting up into groups of two with one person going on their own," Mark noted. "Is that what we're supposed to do, or...?"

"The fruit will likely be in trees. Having a partner wouldn't hurt," Elmer figured.

"I want to go with Bunko," Hiram said.

"Ooh, yeah, can I go with Hiram?" Bunko agreed.

"You don't need our permission," Mark chuckled. "...Do they?" he asked Elmer and Roxie.

"Permission is lame. Do whatever you want to. Live your life your way," Roxie answered.

"Another haiku!" Bunko pointed out excitedly.

"Go away," Roxie leered.

" _You_ go away!" Hiram scolded.

"Hey, Hiram, it's okay," Bunko frowned. "Let's go searching!"

The two left the scene.

"What say you, Mark? Want to work together?" Elmer offered.

"Uh, yeah, sure, if you don't mind," Mark agreed.

"Yeah, I work alone. So this all works out to me. See you when we win," Roxie agreed.

The three split up.

"Alright, let's split up, gang!" Steve Jenkins told his team.

"Oh, we're listening to you, now?" Ginger snarked.

"Tch. Please," Steve Jenkins scoffed. "You should have been listening to me _always_. I'm Steve Jenkins."

"So what's the plan?" Rowan urged.

"Rowan and Jeremy will be one pair. Ginger and I will be another," Steve Jenkins explained. "That leaves Nestor to go alone."

"Why am I stuck with you?" Ginger asked.

"If you're trying that sexual tension thing, it isn't working," Steve Jenkins dismissed.

"I think this is a good arrangement," Rowan said.

"It works for me, too," Nestor agreed.

"It doesn't matter how we split up! We are champions and can do anything we set our minds to!" Jeremy announced.

"Ugh. Fine," Ginger reluctantly agreed.

"Hell yeah. Split!" Steve Jenkins ordered.

The fivesome split up into the groups assigned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Now that Jim is gone, Louise and Virgil are probably going to try to get Dean and Wisdom to flip to their side. Not on my watch! I'm keeping Dean on a leash. Which he'd probably like, he's so pathetic. Eugh, you know what, forget that analogy.

 **Kirkland:** Finally, some peace and quiet. My team has been sorely, sorely lacking in that.

 **Bunko:** I wonder if I'd get the chance to draw some fruit after the challenge is over. As much as I like doing caricatures of people, I want to branch out, you know? And who's ever done a caricature of fruit before?

 **Steve Jenkins:** Rowan's smart, so I know she can convince Jeremy that Shady is no team leader. And, of course, I'm a genius, so I can convince Ginger to stick by me. I've got plans for days in this beautiful head of mine.

* * *

Louise and Virgil searched the island for the fruit they sought.

"I can't believe whether or not one of us avoids getting voted out hinges entirely on whether or not we can find fruit faster than the other teams," Virgil commented.

"Well hey, maybe we can get lucky," Louise encouraged.

"With how crappy our teammates are?" Virgil scoffed.

"That's... er... why it's luck instead of skill," Louise conceded.

"I still can't believe you wanted to work with Dean," Virgil mentioned.

"Well, he seemed like the most trustworthy option," Louise figured. "Wisdom tricked Jim into splitting his vote, and Gretchen... yeah."

"But it's _Dean_ ," Virgil pointed out flatly.

"I know he's not the strongest ally... or the smartest... or has the best social game..." Louise admitted. "But I think we can trust him more than Gretchen or Wisdom."

"I'd rather just throw him under the bus to Sour Grapes, to be honest," Virgil said.

"I don't know. Strategy is hard," Louise frowned.

"Strategy isn't hard. Having to share a team with Strawberry, Sour Grapes, and Dean is hard," Virgil clarified.

"And yet you're giving them nicknames," Louise chuckled.

"I give lots of people nicknames, Licorice," Virgil shrugged.

"Wait, why am I the worst candy?" Louise pouted.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that," Virgil dismissed.

Kirkland peeked out from behind a tree that the two had just passed.

"Very interesting," Kirkland thought aloud.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Realistically, getting any of the other three on my team to flip onto my and Louise's side is going to be both risky and a huge pain. But maybe we won't have to... Hm...

 **Kirkland:** I hadn't considered that going alone would be good for eavesdropping on people from other teams. I shouldn't let myself get distracted, of course, but knowing the dynamics of the other teams could be invaluable in the future. Kehehe...

* * *

Kun and Rhiannon made their way through a different part of the island.

"Finding bananas should be no sweat for someone like me~" Rhiannon joked.

"I, um, knew you would say something like that," Kun mentioned.

Rhiannon gave Kun a look.

"N-Not that there's anything wrong with sexuality, but, um, the jokes are getting, um, predictable," Kun stammered.

Rhiannon stayed silent.

"So, um, our team..." Kun forced a conversation change. "Kind of messy, isn't it?"

"No kidding," Rhiannon agreed. "For what it's worth, I think Kirkland and Liberty are as against Hildegard being the team leader as you are. Although they might just be against Tegan, I'm not sure."

"That's, um, something," Kun smiled. "I'm, um, less concerned about Hildegard, though, as I am about Kirkland."

"Kirkland?" Rhiannon asked in disbelief. "He hates people as a concept. I don't see him clamoring to be the team leader."

"Well, no, but-" Kun cut himself off as he saw Bunko and Hiram in the distance, trying to climb up a tree.

"You think they found something?" Rhiannon asked.

Bunko propped Hiram up as Hiram pulled himself up the tree's branches.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bunko asked.

"I trust you will keep me safe, Bunko," Hiram smiled. "I can do anything as long as you're with me."

Bunko looked up at Hiram with concern as he pulled himself up through the branches of the tree. No fruit was actually in the tree, but Hiram was able to peek out from the top of the tree to survey the surrounding area.

"Do you see anything?" Bunko called up.

"I think so," Hiram told her. "There's a pinkish fruit over that way."

"That might be a dragonfruit!" Bunko cheered.

Kun and Rhiannon glanced at each other hopefully.

Hiram jumped out of the tree, and Bunko barely caught him. She set him down, and the two ran off towards the fruit. Kun and Rhiannon discreetly followed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Shoot, I thought the racy jokes would be endearing and get people to underestimate me, but it looks like that's backfiring. That's embarrassing. ...Kun's concerned about Kirkland, huh? Interesting.

 **Bunko:** I'm flattered that Hiram trusts me so much, but I don't want him to put himself in danger! I can't keep him safe from everything. I almost didn't catch him that time!

* * *

Roxie, with her mask down and a cigarette in her mouth, searched the island alone.

"Gah, it's nice finally getting a smoke without getting scolded by half my team," Roxie smiled.

"You're on the outs of your team, huh?" Nestor asked as he caught up to her.

"No, but Bunko's worried about my health, Hiram hates the smell, and Fred thinks I'm patronizing him because I've used them to guide him before," Roxie explained.

"Well, we should stick together anyway," Nestor said. "Making cross-team deals might get the producers to like us more, and the producers always help out their favorites. Remember Duncan in World Tour? I wish I didn't."

"I liked Duncan in all his seasons," Roxie said indignantly.

"And I'm still talking to you regardless of that fact, hon," Nestor said. "Anyway, Chris did mention that the game will change drastically every few rounds. I'm not sure how long that entails, exactly, but having friends in different places could benefit us."

"And what exactly do you have to bring to the table?" Roxie challenged.

"I know everything there is to know about Total Drama, sweets," Nestor reminded her. "I run a TD blog, remember? I know what it takes to win this game. Do you know what it takes to win this game?"

"Allies who aren't condescending scumbags, I'd imagine," Roxie snipped.

"If you're referring to Steve Jenkins, I don't intend to keep him around forever," Nestor said.

"I'll pass," Roxie scoffed.

"You'll come to regret that, babes," Nestor said.

"I'm sure," Roxie snarked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** "Ooh, look at me, I'm hot property because I'm a NEET who has nothing better to do than overanalyze some dumb TV show". ...Yes, I know I signed up for this dumb TV show. Shut up.

 **Nestor:** As I said before, I see Roxie as a very likely winner of this game, and I think sticking by her could be beneficial. Of course, if she won't have me, then I can do everything in my power to make sure she goes home. As of now, there isn't very much in my power, but I'll keep this in mind when we do shuffle things around.

* * *

Jeremy and Rowan scoured the area for fruit.

"This is just like our excursion this morning for camp supplies!" Jeremy beamed. "I just know that experience will give us the advantage."

"We've definitely grown close as a team," Rowan agreed. "I've noticed you and Shadya, in particular, seem to be getting along well."

"Haha. You think?" Jeremy asked as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"You spend a lot of time together," Rowan continued.

Jeremy sighed.

"Is something bothering you?" Rowan asked.

"Can I tell you something kind of personal?" Jeremy asked.

"Of course!" Rowan encouraged. "I'm your teammate. You can trust me."

"I think I might be developing feelings for Shadya," Jeremy admitted.

"Awwww," Rowan smiled.

"I always admired her from afar when I knew her as 'that girl who climbed Everest' but actually getting to meet her... She's so cool," Jeremy gave a small smile. "But I think I'm coming on too strong to her. I'm not trying to, but she doesn't seem comfortable with me complimenting her and such. So I'm asking your opinion as a woman. How do you think I should go about this?"

"I have definitely noticed you coming on pretty strong to her," Rowan began.

"...Oh," Jeremy frowned.

"And if you're making her uncomfortable with her advances, well, that certainly won't look good on you if someone gets the wrong idea," Rowan continued.

"What does that mea- Wait, what?!" Jeremy gasped. "I promise my intentions were pure! I-I would never..."

"If you ask me, I think you should keep your distance from Shadya for a while," Rowan said. "Even if people don't get that wrong idea, it's good to give her some space. Too much of any person can make that person wear thin on you."

"I see," Jeremy said. "Thanks for being honest with me, Rowan."

"It's what I do," Rowan smiled.

The two found Wisdom coming down from a tree with a banana in her hand.

"Hey, we needed a banana for the challenge, right?" Rowan asked Jeremy.

Jeremy nodded. The two made their way towards the tree.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** I will admit, I winged it for most of that conversation. I was still unsure of how I should use Jeremy's admiration towards Shadya against them, and then he just gave me the answer right then and there. It likely won't get Jeremy to vote her out - really, I'm not sure anything will - but if it keeps them separated, well, that's a start.

 **Wisdom:** Should I have waited for them to pass me by before dropping down from the tree? Maybe, but would it have been worth the risk of falling and injuring myself? Will it truly cost us in the long run?

* * *

Hildegard, Shadya, and Fred had stayed by the giant oak tree with Chris.

"Man, this is boring," Fred complained. "Has anyone even come back with fruit yet?"

"Nay," Hildegard answered.

"There aren't many tropical fruit trees here on Whenua," Chris chuckled.

"I thought you said this was an island of bounty," Shadya mentioned.

"I say a lot of things," Chris responded.

"No jest," Hildegard smirked.

Jeremy and Rowan arrived with a banana. They placed it in their team's bowl.

"Excellent," Shadya smiled at her teammates.

Jeremy avoided eye contact. "Let's go find the other fruit, Rowan," he told his other teammate.

Rowan giggled. "Let's," she agreed.

The two ran off.

"What the...?" Shadya wondered.

Wisdom arrived with a banana of her own and placed it in her team's bowl.

"Am I the first one of the Lollipops to succeed in bringing fruit?" Wisdom wondered. "What could be holding the others up that I might be first?"

Wisdom wandered away.

"The Best Team and Luscious Lollipops are in the lead!" Chris announced. "But only barely. It's still up in the air!"

Bunko, Hiram, Kun, and Rhiannon all arrived at once. Hiram and Rhiannon each placed a dragonfruit in their respective team's bowls.

"And it's all tied up!" Chris corrected. "Each team with one fruit apiece."

"I can't believe they followed us," Bunko pouted to Hiram.

"We just need to be more careful," Hiram told her.

The two left the scene.

"Should we follow them?" Rhiannon asked Kun.

"Um, let's just go our own way," Kun suggested. "Let's not make more enemies than we, um, need to."

The two left the scene.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Did Jeremy ignore me? I know I told him I wanted him to cool off with the hero worship, but ignoring me? That's not good. I may need a follow-up chat with him.

* * *

Dean and Gretchen made their own way through the island.

"Alright, Dean, we're in a tough spot," Gretchen said. "We're the only ones the other can trust on our team."

"What about Wisdom?" Dean asked.

"Don't be dense. She went behind our backs, remember?" Gretchen reminded him.

"She did?" Dean asked. "If you're talking about her deal with Jim, I was there. We were only trying to make things easier. And it worked."

Gretchen smacked Dean on the back of the head. "Why didn't you tell me, you idiot?!"

"What did you expect me to say?" Dean frowned. "'Hey, Gretchen, by the way, Wisdom and I just told Jim to vote for you.' We did it to save all three of us, and it worked, and you're still mad. Telling you could have put the plan at risk."

"You think you're so much smarter than me, huh?" Gretchen spat. "Just because the protagonist is never the smartest character doesn't mean _you_ get to be the token smart one! You're just my bumbling sidekick! Don't forget that! Got it?!"

Dean sighed. "Yes, ma'am."

"Libbyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Tegan called as she ran past the two. "Libby where are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuus?!" She ran back to Dean and Gretchen. "Hey, did you crazy cats see Libby anywheres?"

"Who?" Dean asked.

"No, we haven't," Gretchen informed her.

"What a whah," Tegan pouted. She ran off again.

"Can I just say how glad I am that she's not on our team?" Gretchen commented.

"I don't mind her," Dean said.

"Stop having opinions," Gretchen commented.

Dean hung his head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** I think Gretchen might just be jealous that someone other than her made a big move, even if it benefited her. I wouldn't dare say that to her face, of course, but there's really no reason to be so mad.

 **Tegan:** I keep on losing my friendies and teammates! That is _not_ sugoi! I needs to be more mindful, guys.

* * *

Kirkland continued to wander on his own.

"Man, I wish all the challenges were like this," Kirkland commented. "Just me on my own, looking around, snooping on other teams."

He spotted Elmer and Mark wandering around the island.

"The amnesia kid and the guy who's dating someone on another team? This should be juicy," Kirkland chuckled deviously as he snuck his way up to them and tried to listen in.

"I'm telling you, man, Bunko and Hiram are going to be loyal to each other over anyone else," Elmer told Mark. "You saw how quickly they said they wanted to search together for the challenge."

"That is true..." Mark admitted. "But they're still loyal to me, aren't they?"

"Well, think about it this way," Elmer continued. "If you join the alliance with me, Fred, and Roxie, that's four people, which is going to be stronger than three people any way you slice it."

"Wait, Fred?" Mark asked. "I thought we were going to vote for Fred if we lost."

"Well, er, uh..." Elmer stammered. "I may have neglected to mention Fred before, but trust me, working with us is so much smarter than working with Bunko and Hiram."

"How so?" Mark asked.

Elmer sighed. "I keep telling you. Roxie and I will always be more valuable allies then Bunko or Hiram. As for Fred, well, four votes is always better than three. Especially in a team of six where an unbroken tie could mean you going home by complete random chance."

"A lot of the intricacies of this game are still kind of lost on me," Mark admitted. "But you said you're a big fan of this show, right? You probably know what you're doing."

"I'm only telling you all this because I want to help you, Mark," Elmer said. "I know it probably looks bad that I'm telling you to turn on your friends, but you need to be adaptable in this game. Make new friends if necessary."

"That sounds tough, but it makes sense," Mark nodded. "Hey, is that a banana tree?"

Elmer looked up to where Mark pointed to find, indeed, a banana tree.

"Nice!" Elmer smiled. "Hopefully no one else on our team already found a banana,"

Kirkland, hiding behind a tree, snickered to himself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kirkland:** So it's an even three-three split on Team I Don't Know, and Elmer's trying to work over Mark. Interesting. I wonder if it would benefit me any to tell Bunko and Hiram.

 **Mark:** I may not remember very much, but I'm not stupid... or at least I don't think I am. I can't remember. Either way, what Elmer's trying to sell me seems really fishy. I'm trying to humor him, but I don't think I'll be turning on my friends anytime soon. It just doesn't feel like a good idea.

* * *

Ginger and Steve Jenkins scoured the island.

"Man, this is wack," Steve Jenkins complained. "We haven't found _anything_. I'm Steve Jenkins. The fruits should be lining up to get picked by me."

"I'm sure they usually are back home," Ginger sniggered.

"Excuse me?!" Steve Jenkins snapped. "What do you take me for? I'm Steve Jenkins! I'm not some homophobe who's uncomfortable getting attention from gay men! Any and all attention I get is warranted and appreciated."

"Alright, fine, don't go with the joke," Ginger said as she threw her hands up.

"It wasn't that funny," Steve Jenkins shrugged.

Ginger rolled her eyes.

"You know what is funny, though? Shady thinking she runs the place," Steve Jenkins laughed. "Please. As if any team with Steve Jenkins could have anyone else in charge."

"Yes, we've been over this before," Ginger said dryly.

"I know, but I want to make this, like a _thing_ ," Steve Jenkins said. "An alliance, I mean. I know you want a piece of Steve Jenkins, but I'm not that desperate yet."

"With an offer like that, how can I refuse?" Ginger snarked. "Also, are we going to talk about how those two are climbing that tree?"

Ginger jerked her thumb in the direction of Louise and Virgil. Virgil had just tossed a mango down from the tree for Louise to catch.

"Who cares about them? We need to focus on the challenge," Steve Jenkins opined.

Ginger grabbed Steve Jenkins by the ear and dragged him over to the mango tree.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Steve Jenkins cried.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I don't know if Steve Jenkins was serious about that alliance offer, but either way, accepting it was the easiest way to get him to shut up about it. Why was I stuck with him again?

 **Virgil:** Mango is an underutilized candy flavor. You mostly find it in international candy. Not that that's ever stopped me from getting some, but you couldn't just go to any old grocery store and find some. Damn shame.

* * *

Louise and Virgil returned to the oak tree and put a mango in their team's fruit bowl.

"Yes! We're in the lead!" Louise cheered. "Come on, Virgil. We have a dragonfruit to find!"

Virgil tossed a piece of bubblegum into his mouth. "Let's do it."

The two ran off just as Ginger and Steve Jenkins arrived to add a mango of their own to their team's bowl.

"Excellent work," Shadya nodded.

"The Best Team have now tied with the Luscious Lollipops for first place!" Chris announced.

"Come on, we can still get first!" Steve Jenkins encouraged Ginger as he ran off ahead.

"Yeah, no, I'm going this way," Ginger scoffed as she went the opposite direction from Steve Jenkins.

Elmer and Mark arrived with a banana for their team's fruit bowl.

"And Team I Don't Know are back in the running!" Chris announced.

"Nice! You can do it, teammate or teammates!" Fred cheered.

"It's Elmer and Mark," Elmer explained.

"Hell yeah! Bros for life!" Fred beamed.

"...Right," Mark muttered.

The two competing boys ran off.

"My good knights shan't fail me," Hildegard told herself.

Just then, Kirkland arrived with a banana for his team.

"Looks close," Kirkland commented as he placed his banana in his team's bowl, glancing at the other team's bowls.

"Hurry thyself!" Hildegard commanded. "To locate our final token of victory!"

"You're not helpful," Kirkland countered as he jogged off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fred:** I'm not able to "officially" compete in this challenge, but that doesn't mean I can't cheer my team on, right? ...Look, man, I just hate being left out. It happens too much.

 **Hildegard:** Hmph. I only opted not to help to put the pressure on mine own team to work harder. Something Kirkland appears to have forgotten.

* * *

Dean and Gretchen continued to meander throughout the island.

"I can't believe we still haven't found anything," Gretchen griped.

"It's a big island," Dean offered. "And I doubt they'd put the fruit trees so close to each other."

"It's still stupid," Gretchen grumbled. "Losing the first challenge might make me an underdog, sure, but losing the first two? That'll pretty much just guarantee that no one on our team wins."

"We shouldn't give up," Dean smiled. "No matter how dire things get, there's always a way."

"Is that what you tell yourself every day to keep yourself from breaking down in tears under the sheer weight of your own unlikability?" Gretchen asked.

"...Yes," Dean admitted.

"Hey, you two~!" Nestor greeted as he ran up to the duo.

"Oh, great, it's you. What do you want?" Gretchen asked.

"I want that hot goss, girl," Nestor said. "Voting Jim out first? Over people like Wisdom or Dean? What happened there?"

"Hey, I'm right he-" Dean frowned.

"None of your business," Gretchen interrupted. "I don't owe you anything."

"I think he's just here to tease us," Dean chimed in.

"Why, Dean, I'm hurt," Nestor smirked.

"You're about to be if you don't leave us alone," Gretchen threatened.

"Alright, but I'll keep this in mind for the future," Nestor said. "We won't be in our four teams forever, you know."

"Do you think threatening him was a good idea?" Dean asked Gretchen as Nestor walked off. "He said he writes a Total Drama blog, right? He probably knows all about strategy."

"If that was true, he wouldn't be a douchewaffle to people on other teams and acting like he wants to be our friend and ally," Gretchen sniffed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** It's Total Drama 101. If you want people to stick with you, you need to be personable and agreeable to them. Like me.

 **Nestor:** Voting out a threat like Jim over a weaker teammate is the exact kind of thing I would do. I'm targeting Shadya, aren't I? Gretchen always made me out to be her rival, but I think we could work together. Her ego's the size of Camp Wawanakwa, though, so working around that might be tough.

* * *

Roxie continued her own search throughout the island.

"I should have found something. After so much time searching. This is annoying," Roxie mused.

She noticed something pale blue on the ground off in the distance. She approached it to find Liberty, fast asleep, with a mango in her hands.

"Well, that's convenient," Roxie noted as she pried the mango from the sleeping girl's hands.

"Roxie Doxie Poxie!" Tegan called as she skipped up to the loner. "You finded Libby!"

"Was any of that in English?" Roxie clipped.

Tegan then took notice of the mango in Roxie's hand. "Hey, where did you get that? Huh? Huh? Where? Where? Where?"

"The mango tree. Where else?" Roxie lied.

"Where it be?" Tegan inquired.

"Like I'll tell you," Roxie scoffed as she made her way back to the big oak tree.

"Hey! Tell me tell me tell me!" Tegan whined as she pulled on Roxie's shirt.

"Let go of me," Roxie said harshly.

Liberty stirred awake. "What the hell's the ruckus?" she groaned.

"Roxie Doxie has teh mango but she won't tell me where she finded it!" Tegan pouted.

Liberty sat there for a few seconds, connecting the dots in her head when she looked at her empty hands.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Liberty scowled. "That's my mango!"

Roxie shoved Tegan, prying her grip from Roxie's shirt, and ran to the big oak tree.

"You won't get away with this!" Tegan shouted as she gave chase.

Liberty watched the two run off before lying back down and returning to sleep.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** All's fair in love and Total Drama. If Liberty hadn't fallen asleep mid-challenge, this might not have happened.

 **Tegan:** I will save teh mango from teh evil Roxie Doxie! No one steals from my team and gets away with it!

* * *

Jeremy and Rowan returned to the oak tree with a dragonfruit. Rowan placed it in their team's bowl.

"And The Best Team takes first place once again!" Chris announced.

"Yes!" Jeremy cheered.

"I knew you guys could do it," Shadya said with a slight smile.

"We aren't The Best Team for nothing," Rowan smiled.

Louise and Virgil showed up shortly after with a dragonfruit of their own, which Louise promptly placed in their team's bowl.

"Second place goes to the Luscious Lollipops!" Chris announced.

"Thank god," Virgil said with a sigh of relief.

"See, we can win challenges yet!" Louise beamed.

"It's down to Team I Don't Know and the Knights of Goodness," Chris said. "One team will be safe, the other will be voting someone out tonight."

"It won't be the Knights!" Hildegard declared.

"It totally will," Fred grinned. "Team I Don't Know has this in the bag, dawg!"

Roxie ran up to the oak tree, with Tegan hot on her tail.

"Give it back!" Tegan shouted before tackling Roxie to the ground, causing her to drop the mango.

"Gah, get off of me! This challenge is mine to win! Give it up, you child!" Roxie struggled.

Both girls reached for the mango.

"You go, Tegan!" Hildegard cheered.

"Kick her ass, Roxie!" Fred cheered.

The girls struggled against one another, but, ultimately, one of them managed to free herself from the tussle, grab the mango, and run it up to her team's bowl.

"And that's that!" Chris announced. "Taking third place in this challenge..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Team I Don't Know!"

"Yeah!" Fred whooped.

"Which means that the Knights of Goodness will be voting someone out tonight," Chris concluded.

All twenty-three contestants had gathered at the oak tree.

"Alright, now that everyone's back, it's time to hand out rewards," Chris said. "The Best Team, for placing first in the challenge, you get a fishing kit and a hunting kit! Everything you'll need to catch fish and beast to nourish yourselves during your time on the island."

"Not a reward we needed badly, but one we'll gladly accept," Shadya nodded.

"Luscious Lollipops, for placing second, you get your choice of either a fishing kit or a hunting kit," Chris continued.

"It'd make more sense to get the hunting kit, right?" Wisdom asked. "Since our camp has no easy access to saltwater?"

"I agree," Dean nodded.

"And my vote makes three," Louise chimed in. "We'll take the hunting kit," she told Chris.

"Team I Don't Know, you don't get an extra reward, but you can rest easy knowing you're safe tonight."

"Sounds good!" Bunko winked.

"Knights of Goodness, I'll be seeing you guys at the campfire ceremony tonight," Chris chuckled. "Have fun deciding who to cut! Hehaha."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** I may not have found anything, but we still got first place. I'll take it. Although, this could give off the impression that my team may not need me. I'll have to work extra-hard to prove myself from here on out.

 **Louise:** Whew. After all that happened last night, the last thing I wanted was to go to another vote. And hey, we even got something to help out at camp, too. Things are really looking up!

 **Elmer:** It sounds like things were close. I'm not fully confident that I'd have the numbers going into a vote, so I'm glad we missed out on this one. I still need to get a foothold over here.

 **Kun:** Well that's, um, unfortunate, but perhaps it could be a blessing in disguise. Our team is, um, not getting along tremendously, so perhaps losing someone could, um, benefit us in the long run.

* * *

After the campers were dismissed back to their campsites, Kirkland, Liberty, and Rhiannon met up at a spot not far from their camp.

"Honestly, I'm not even mad that we lost," Kirkland said. "And you want to know why?"

"Because you get to vote for Tegan?" Rhiannon guessed.

Kirkland narrowed his eyes at Rhiannon for a moment. "Yes. That technicolor nightmare needs to go _now_."

"Yeah, I want her gone, too," Liberty drowsily nodded. "She didn't work with me at all in the challenge."

"That's great and all, but do you think Kun would go for it?" Rhiannon asked. "Obviously Tegan and Hildegard won't. We'll need his vote, and I think he's dead set on voting for Hildegard."

"If he does vote Hildegard, then Tegan still goes," Kirkland said. "A 3-2-1 split will favor us just as much as a clean 4-2. Either way, the three of us will hold all the power on this team after tonight's vote. Hell, we basically already have all the power."

"How fortunate," Rhiannon smiled.

"Vote Tegan. Cool. Can I go back to sleep?" Liberty asked.

"You're dismissed," Kirkland nodded.

Liberty trudged off.

"If she were on any other team, she'd be screwed," Rhiannon commented.

"I don't know. The other teams seem to have their share of drama as well," Kirkland mentioned.

Rhiannon glanced at Kirkland.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kirkland:** I will never know what drew Hildegard to want Tegan as an ally, but it's going to prove _very_ detrimental to her game in the long run.

* * *

Hildegard and Tegan, meanwhile sat outside their team's cave as Hildegard cooked a wild rabbit.

"Aw, po' widdle wabbit," Tegan sniffled.

"It was not domesticated and would not have made a good pet," Hildegard said.

"Are rabbits tasty?" Tegan asked.

"So I'm told," Hildegard said. "Anyway, how wouldst thou feel about eliminating Kun from this team?"

"I barely know the guy," Tegan said. "So I has no emotional attachment and don't mind seeing him go! Teehee."

"That's what I like to hear," Hildegard nodded. "We will need at least two other people to join us, however. Two votes do not an elimination make."

"How about Libby and Rhi-Rhi?" Tegan suggested. "But NOT Kirkityland! He's a meanie!"

"I fear Liberty may not be so receptive to either of us," Hildegard pondered. "But I believe she considers Rhiannon to be a friend. We should speak to Rhiannon and ask her to spread the idea to Liberty."

"Works for me!" Tegan agreed.

"I will finish dinner preparations and then speak to her," Hildegard said. "Feel free to go play in the meantime."

"Play? I likes teh play!" Tegan acquiesced as she stood up and cartwheeled away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I may yet speak to Kirkland regardless of how Tegan feels. I know that little Tegan and I are likely targets of Kun's and Kirkland's, respectively, but I shan't let the odds intimidate me! What paladin lies down in the face of adversity! None like Lady Hildegard!

* * *

Liberty fell asleep within the cave while Rhiannon sat next to her. Kun entered the cave.

"Oh, just the people I was, um, looking for," Kun smiled.

"Got something _special_ in mind?" Rhiannon purred.

"Um, well, yes, but it's probably not what you're, um, thinking of," Kun blushed. "Kirkland."

"What about Kirkland?" Rhiannon asked.

"I'm considering, um, turning the vote against him," Kun explained.

"Right, you mentioned being wary of him before," Rhiannon recalled. "I'll admit, I'm surprised to see such a power play come from you."

"Well, um, what sort of leader would I be if I didn't take risks?" Kun responded.

"You hear that, Liberty?" Rhiannon asked as she shook Liberty awake.

"Ugh. Whaaaaaaaaat?" Liberty groused.

"Kun here wants to vote for Kirkland," Rhiannon explained.

"Why? That's stupid," Liberty said bluntly. "Vote for Tegan like the rest of us."

"Well, um, I fear that Kirkland may be becoming too, um, powerful too quickly," Kun explained. "He may very well, um, be a threat down the line."

"You're overthinking it," Liberty said as she lay her head back down.

"I'll talk it over with her," Rhiannon told Kun.

"So, um, you're in?" Kun asked hopefully.

"I'll talk it over with her," Rhiannon repeated.

"Well, um, I would appreciate your votes," Kun told Rhiannon as he took his leave.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I'd be stupid not to notice that Kirkland is slipping through the cracks and taking advantage of the conflict on our team. He trusts me, so he's told me, but I also get the feeling that he'd be willing to drop me if it benefited him. It's something to think about, it really is.

* * *

As Kun left the cave, he found Hildegard tending to the rabbit, and Tegan cartwheeling in circles. He cleared his throat.

"Um, I would like to speak with the both of you," Kun began.

"Here to concede defeat?" Hildegard asked.

"Bwahaha! Good one, Hilde!" Tegan laughed.

"No, I'm not," Kun huffed. "I'm, um, here to let you in on something you may want to hear."

"What could it possibly be?" Hildegard asked dismissively.

"I wish to, um, blindside Kirkland," Kun explained.

"Vote out Kirkityland?!" Tegan gasped. She dashed up to the two aspiring team leaders. "I'm in!"

"Soft, little Tegan!" Hildegard warned. She turned to Kun. "How are we to trust you? You are no secret rival to the two of us!"

"It's true. Y-You can ask the other girls," Kun stammered. He cleared his throat again. "I think Kirkland is planning on taking power for himself. He plans on voting out Tegan and then leaving you and me against each other, so he, Rhiannon, and Liberty can have all the say."

"Voting for Tegan does sound like something Kirkland would do," Hildegard conceded.

"Yeah, 'cuz he's a butt!" Tegan added.

"And he does seem to confer with those two often..." Hildegard conceded.

"Really, um, I'd have nothing to gain by lying to you," Kun said. "If I was voting for Tegan with them, why would I, um, tell you?"

"And what about those girls?" Hildegard asked. "One of them would have to join us in this vote."

"I spoke to them," Kun said. "Liberty wasn't keen, but, um, I think Rhiannon is thinking about it.

"I say we should do it!" Tegan told Hildegard.

Hildegard looked pensive.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** I think that, no matter what happens, I should be, um, safe, and, um, might even have people who listen to me. We'll see what, um, happens. Fingers crossed.

* * *

Night had fallen, and Hildegard, Kirkland, Kun, Liberty, Rhiannon, and Tegan all met up with Chris at the campfire pit where the campers first met up at the start of the game. Torches surrounding the area were lit, as was the campfire itself.

"Good morrow to thee, Knights of Goodness," Chris chuckled.

"Art thou mocking me?!" Hildegard accused.

"Rhiannon, now that you've had some time to settle in, how are things at camp?" Chris asked. "Is everyone getting along?"

"No team will ever get along perfectly," Rhiannon answered. "That's just not how the game works. The possibility of having to vote is always present, and people are always preparing themselves. And, of course, people will disagree on who needs to go and who needs to stay. And, sadly, having anger sex to resolve tension is not on the table. I checked."

"Can you go one day without trying to screw someone?" Liberty asked.

"Ah, Liberty, wide awake, I see," Chris chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm normally awake at around this time," Liberty clarified.

"But not at the time when the challenge happened, apparently," Chris mentioned.

"Look, I tried to stay up. I always do for challenges," Liberty defended. "But imagine waking up at 4 am and being expected to do some strenuous task. That's basically what happened to me."

"Kun, does this make Liberty a target?" Chris asked. "Why keep someone who won't stay awake in challenges, right?"

"One would, um, think, but it's as Rhiannon said: people have been planning this vote since long before Liberty's, um, blunder at the challenge," Kun explained.

"Hildegard, what might factor into someone's plans to vote so early in the game?" Chris inquired.

"One's social game can be downright damning," Hildegard answered. "Sometimes, people are liable to butt heads, and those who do may scheme to eliminate their rival from the game."

"Yeah! Like Kirkityland!" Tegan accused.

"Kirkland, Tegan just threw you under the bus," Chris pointed out.

"Tch. I'd be a hypocrite to get mad after I've spent pretty much the entirety of my time since I first set foot on that dock throwing her under the bus," Kirkland scoffed. "I've made it no secret that I cannot stand Tegan and want to get rid of her as soon as possible."

"What did I ever do to you?!" Tegan cried. "I just wanted to be your friend because I thought you were funny! But you're just so mean!"

"I never asked to be your friend!" Kirkland snapped. "I find your mannerisms juvenile and obnoxious. The fact that you seem to think it's all cute makes it all even worse. Because it isn't cute, you blithering puzzle piece! Nobody here thinks it is, except _maybe_ Hildegard, who doesn't know better because she's also dedicated herself to some annoying shtick! It's like fate went out of its way to put me on the same team as the two most annoying people in this game! But, as fate would have it, terrible minds think alike, and the two of them made the mistake of working together. This will make it easy to get rid of Hildegard after Tegan is voted out tonight."

Silence.

"Quite some choice words from Kirkland, there," Chris laughed. "Tegan, any rebuttals?"

"Well, I think KIRKLAND is a rebuttal!" Tegan cried. "And I'm ready to vote HIM out!"

"Well, with all that said, I'd say now's as good a time as any to vote," Chris grinned. "Hildegard, you're up first. Head to the confessional booth."

Hildegard nodded as she stood up and did as she was told.

* * *

After all six contestants had voted, Chris returned with a platter of five marshmallows.

"You have cast your votes and made your decisions," Chris smiled ominously. "One by one, I will call your names and toss you marshmallows. If you receive a marshmallow, you are safe. One of you will not receive a marshmallow. That person will be eliminated from Total Drama Shuffle Party."

Kirkland and Tegan glared at each other.

"First up is Liberty," Chris said as he tossed the first marshmallow.

Liberty grinned as she caught the marshmallow.

"Rhiannon."

"Hildegard."

"Kun."

The three smiled as they caught their own marshmallows

"You're going down, Tegan," Kirkland grinned darkly.

"Not if you go down first!" Tegan insisted.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"The final marshmallow goes to Kirkland," Chris finally announced.

"W-WAT?!" Tegan gasped. "You guys, you..."

"Ha! Haha! Gyahaha *snort* Haha *snort* Haha!" Kirkland burst into laughter. "Get fucked, infantile girl."

"I can't believe this!" Tegan sobbed. "How could you guys side with a bully over me?!"

"Little Tegan!" Hildegard called. She stood up and gave her friend a tight hug. "Worry not, faithful squire. I will see to it that these four get their just desserts."

"No, don't do that," Tegan sniveled. "They don't deserve desserts."

Hildegard smiled. "Never change."

"Tegan, you have been eliminated from the game," Chris smiled. "If you'll make your way to the new Dock of Shame and the new Boat of Losers..."

"If you need me, I'll be at the dark side. We have cookies!" Tegan taunted as she made her way over to the Dock of Shame. She boarded the boat of losers, and the vessel drove away.

"Sometimes, emotions overtake logic in voting ceremonies," Chris told the five remaining Knights of Goodness. "But how viable is that really? Head back to camp. We're done here tonight."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I have failed as a paladin and as a friend! But I will not let this bullying go unpunished! Kirkland, if thou thinkest me annoying now, thou hast seen naught!

* * *

Chris stood on the Dock of Shame after the Knights of Goodness had left and looked at the camera.

"Man, I knew that team was going to deliver in the drama. Hehaha," Chris grinned. "Will Kirkland continue to gain power over his team? Which of his teammates will Mark stay loyal to? Will Gretchen become the protagonist she says she is? Will Rowan keep driving wedges between her teammates? The answers to these questions and more, may or may not be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Liberty:** Yeah, I'm voting for Tegan. Useless _and_ annoying? Come on.

 **Hildegard:** Kirkland, I was apprehensive about voting for you at first, but thou hast given me every reason to do so! Good riddance to thee!

 **Tegan:** Kirkland Kirkland Kirkland Kirkland Kirkland Kirkland Kirkland Kirkland Kir-

 **Kirkland:** Tegan, this is a round overdue, but it gives me such great pleasure to say your name for the final time. Now please exit my life forever.

 **Rhiannon:** Ugh, after that outburst, I actually kind of want to vote for Kirkland now. But if I do, and Kun doesn't, that could spark even _more_ drama that none of us really need. I really hate to do it, but, sorry, I vote for Tegan.

 **Kun:** Well, um, I think Kirkland proved that I have nothing to worry about with him. After that, um, speech he gave, I don't think anyone's clamoring to listen to him. So, to stick with the old plan of weakening Hildegard, I, um, vote for Tegan.

* * *

 _A/N: And Tegan, unlike Jim, was a character who was always going to be a very early boot. I think the farthest she ever went was the third boot, maybe fourth, but she was always going to go home in the early game after a couple episodes of being over-the-top and quirky enough to annoy everyone._

 _Then again, while plenty of readers couldn't stand her, plenty of readers actually really liked her, which I did not see coming, but I certainly won't complain about. I like to think I'm past what I did in Explore Party and make characters annoying solely so they won't be missed after going early, but Tegan may or may not be an exception to that. I wrote her to be annoying, but the kind of annoying that someone could feasibly find charming or funny or otherwise entertaining if they were so inclined, and some were. That said, her shtick did get tiring for me to write very quickly, and, as such, I think now is the best time to get rid of her. To her fans, I'm sorry, and to her haters, you're welcome._

 _And since I've been asked about it, the list of contestants with their labels and such at the end of each episode a la Virtual Party will return on the second island._


	5. I'm Legally Not Allowed To Lay Low

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the Dock of Shame. "In our last episode, lines were drawn in the sand, and some contestants dared to cross those lines. On The Best Team, Rowan did what she could to cause tension between Jeremy and Shadya, while Steve Jenkins did what he could to assert himself as the man in charge. On Team I Don't Know, Elmer made a case to Mark about potentially joining sides with him, while Hiram made himself a concern for a number of his teammates. The Knights of Goodness were a nice bundle of trouble, with the Hildegard/Kun rivalry and the Kirkland/Tegan rivalry growing ever-stronger. And on the Luscious Lollipops, Louise tried to sway Dean to join her alliance with Virgil, although Virgil wasn't so receptive to the plan.

"The challenge saw the teams searching the island for tropical fruits. Some contestants grouped up with their teammates, while others went at it alone. It was a close race, but, after a tense struggle between Roxie and Tegan for that final mango, the Knights of Goodness found themselves on the chopping block. Kirkland pushed for Tegan to go, Hildegard pushed for Kun to go, and Kun pushed for Kirkland to go. Tegan was the one voted out that night, although Kirkland found himself on no shortage of bad sides after his diatribe against Tegan before the votes were cast.

"Who will take ultimate control of the Knights of Goodness? And will any spine-tingling drama unfold amongst the other teams? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The Knights of Goodness returned to their cave after the night's elimination.

"Well, team, we can sleep easy tonight," Kirkland said proudly.

"Thou hast best sleep with one eye open, foul villain!" Hildegard shouted to Kirkland.

"Or what, you'll stab me in my sleep?" Kirkland scoffed. "Is that what a good knight would do? Throw a hissy fit and start injuring others when they don't get their way?"

"As, um, the leader of this team, I strictly prohibit violence of any sort," Kun chimed in.

"And I, for one, am glad to be on a team with Kun in charge," Kirkland said.

"Unbelievable!" Hildegard shouted. "Have any of thou morals?! Tegan was but an innocent child, and you all cast her aside for no reason!"

"She was not innocent, and, yeah, she was a child," Liberty said.

"Kirkland, I will have you know that Kun threw you under the bus to me and Tegan," Hildegard mentioned. "It was his idea to vote for you."

"Lying also isn't very becoming of a good knight," Kirkland tsked.

"It is no lie!" Hildegard shouted defensively.

"If I may make a suggestion," Rhiannon piped up. "As much as I endorse people sleeping together, I think it'd be best for everyone if Kirkland and Hildegard stayed separated."

"Am I to believe thou art banishing me from the cave?" Hildegard spat.

"No one is, um, banishing anyone from anywhere," Kun said sternly. "Kirkland, you sleep over there. Hildegard, you sleep over there."

"Whatever you say, team leader," Kirkland smiled as he made his way to the far end of the cave.

Hildegard growled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** While all the conflict is good for keeping the target off of me, it's not good for my stress levels, or anyone else's for that matter. I just hope it doesn't start costing us even more challenges.

 **Hildegard:** It is me against the world right now, but no world is too powerful for a holy knight such as myself! I shall do whatever it takes to remain a strong contestant in this game. My game will not end until I am officially eliminated!

 **Kun:** I think last night I, um, firmly established my place as the, um, leader of this team. I'm still, um, wary of Hildegard and Kirkland, but, um, with those two at each other's throats, I can't imagine the others will be listening to them all that much.

* * *

The next morning, Mark sat by the fire at Team I Don't Know's camp, sharpening a long, firm tree branch with a pocket knife as Roxie watched. The other four members of the team remained asleep.

"Thanks again for letting me borrow this," Mark told Roxie as he held up the knife. "Man, if we had just done a little bit better in the challenge yesterday, we could already be hunting for food, huh?"

"Such cruel irony. But then, is that not just life? What a world, indeed," Roxie mused.

"Is that one of those haikus Bunko was talking about?" Mark asked.

"Yep!" Bunko informed them as she appeared behind Roxie out of nowhere.

"Geez!" Roxie jumped, turning around to face Bunko.

"Eek!" Bunko jumped.

"Hey! Don't scare Bunko like that!" Hiram snapped as he appeared behind Roxie out of nowhere.

"GEEZ!" Roxie jumped again.

"What's all the hubbub?" Fred groaned as he and Elmer awoke.

"I'm going for a smoke," Roxie grumbled as she grabbed a cigarette and her lighter from her bag and left.

"Roxie, no," Bunko frowned.

"It's probably best if you just let her," Elmer told Bunko.

"Smoking kills," Bunko sniffled.

"So do a lot of things people do on this show," Elmer chuckled. "She'll be fine."

"...Hey, wait a minute," Mark realized. "If Roxie had this pocket knife the whole time, couldn't we have been hunting with this?"

"Give me that! I'll go hunting!" Fred said enthusiastically as he reached for the knife but only succeeded in grabbing Mark's hair.

"Try not to hurt yourself..." Hiram giggled under his breath.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Our team's gotten by on the various fruits we've managed to scrounge up, but with this spear I've crafted, maybe we can finally get some meat. We could certainly use the protein.

 **Fred:** Hiram keeps on whining about how I "don't contribute", so if I can catch us some food, he'll have no choice but to eat his words _and_ a delicious meal!

 **Bunko:** I've always been uncomfortable with people smoking. When I was little, my grandpa died of lung cancer, and, yeah, he smoked. I've always connecting smoking with dying, so Roxie smoking makes me think about her dying, and I hate it!

* * *

The Luscious Lollipops sat around the fire at their camp, dining on a wild boar.

"This is delicious!" Dean gushed.

"Nice going catching us something this big, Louise," Virgil complimented.

"Aw, it was nothing," Louise laughed.

"You've got to take me hunting next time," Gretchen urged. "A good protagonist always learns some skill that seems like generic character development at first but then comes into play during the final act of the story."

"How will hunting come into play at the endgame of Total Drama?" Wisdom asked.

"It just will. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules," Gretchen insisted.

"She doesn't?" Wisdom asked Dean quietly. Dean laughed.

"I've just got to say, if doing well in challenges means more rewards like this, I'm certainly more motivated to do well in challenges," Virgil reiterated.

"And to think, it's not even candy that's motivating you," Louise joked.

"Candy always motivates me," Virgil said. "If the reward for one of our challenges is candy, then I will guarantee first place for the Luscious Lollipops."

"Too bad we never know what the reward is until after the challenge," Dean pointed out.

"Shut up, Dean," Gretchen said. "Just assume that every reward will be candy. There's no indication that it isn't until after the fact, right?"

"I'm not sure if that makes no sense or perfect sense," Virgil remarked.

"Would it not benefit you most to assume it makes perfect sense?" Wisdom mentioned.

Virgil shrugged as he stuck a lollipop in his mouth.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** Things have definitely cooled down since our vote, and I couldn't be gladder. We even managed to have a nice lunch together, with no arguing or anything. If that isn't a good sign, I don't know what is!

 **Wisdom:** If the wild boar is so delicious, then why is it not so readily available in grocery stores or restaurants like chicken or beef? Are wild boars that uncommon? Couldn't we raise them on a farm? Or would that make them no-longer-wild boars? Is that just what pork entails?

 **Virgil:** Candy is the best thing about being alive, but I can enjoy a good non-sugary meal, too. ...While I'm not as mad about the other night's vote as I was before, I'm still not happy about it I've still got ideas of ways to turn things around, though.

* * *

The six members of The Best Team had gone to a beach near their camp to try out their new fishing kit.

"Man, this is boring," Steve Jenkins complained.

"An old outdoorsman joke goes as follows:" Jeremy began. "Catching fish is the last thing you want to do when fishing."

"...I don't get it," Ginger said flatly.

"The point of fishing isn't to fish, it's to sit back, relax, and enjoy some good company!" Jeremy explained.

"Perhaps that applies recreationally, but in our case, fish provide quick-and-easy-to-prepare meat that we could all use in our systems," Shadya pointed out.

Jeremy opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but chose against doing so.

"Jeremy, I've never been fishing before," Rowan said. "Could you give me some pointers?"

"Of course!" Jeremy agreed as the two moved further away from their team.

Steve Jenkins, meanwhile, scooted closer to Shadya.

"Catch anything yet?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"I clearly have not," Shadya pointed out.

"I know what she's caught. Jeremy Fever," Nestor chuckled.

"I beg your pardon?" Shadya asked as she furrowed her brow.

"Come on, I've seen the way you look at Jeremy with jealousy as he starts spending more time with Rowan," Nestor said. "And hey, I'm the last person to call any fault in checking out hot guys, so there's no judgment here."

"Physical attractiveness is an illusion," Ginger said. "Intelligence and productivity are the most attractive traits in a person. And in a robot, for that matter."

"I bet that's what her mom told her when she didn't get asked to the prom," Steve Jenkins whispered to Nestor and Shadya.

"To return back to the previous topic: no, I hold no romantic or sexual sentiment towards Jeremy," Shadya stated.

"Whatever you say, boo," Nestor said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** I know how people like Shadya work. Accuse them of letting emotions get in their way, and they'll do whatever it takes to prove otherwise. Which could include voting for Jeremy. Voting for Jeremy isn't the plan, but if she casts a hinky vote, that could make all the difference in making this season interesting, or boring.

 **Jeremy:** I'm more of a mountain man than a fisherman, but I've done my share of just about any outdoor activity you can think of! Fishing is no exception. And hey, Rowan was pretty receptive to my tips and tricks. She'll be a great provider for this team yet!

 **Shadya:** I can say with the utmost honesty that I truly do not hold any sort of attraction towards Jeremy unless one counts trust in him to remain loyal to me in this game as "attraction". It does bother me a little that he's been ignoring me, but once I can get him in a one-on-one to talk about it, I'm sure we can work things out. He can't ignore the youngest person to climb Mt. Everest forever.

* * *

Hildegard marched up to Kun as he tended to his team's fire.

"You!" Hildegard accused.

"Me?" Kun asked.

"You liar! Deceiver! Villain!" Hildegard listed dramatically.

"Um, what's this all about?" Kun flinched.

"Thou toldst your fair knight yesternight that thy intentions were to rid our team of Kirkland," Hildegard explained.

"And, um, they were," Kun frowned. "But, um, things changed."

"What changed? And why didn't you tell me?!" Hildegard shouted.

"Well, um, it was during the elimination ceremony," Kun stammered. "After Kirkland's, um, speech about you and Tegan, well, I'd say that erased any traction he may have had in gaining, um, power over the team. He was no longer a threat."

"Fool! He still has Liberty and Rhiannon at his side, no?" Hildegard inquired.

"Well, um, Rhiannon looked pretty uncomfortable with the whole thing," Kun said. "If it had, um, gone to a tie, I, um, might have flipped my vote back to, um, Kirkland."

"'Might have'. Truly a dependable man thou art!" Hildegard scoffed.

"Look, I'm just, um, trying to make my way through the game, just like everyone else!" Kun cried. "It's not easy!"

"Hey, guys, have you seen my hat anywhere?" Kirkland asked as he left the cave, his newsie cap missing.

"You as well?" Hildegard asked. "Something's amiss."

"What?" Kun asked.

"Once is a fluke. Twice is a coincidence. Thrice is a trend," Hildegard said. "Three Knights of Goodness joined our order with headgear, and now all three find themselves unprotected!"

"So, what, there's a hat thief going around?" Kirkland asked.

"Don't you dare blame Tegan," Hildegard warned.

"I still had my hat when she was last here. I'm not stupid, I know she didn't do it," Kirkland said indignantly. "But one of the rest of us five may have done it. Or someone from the other teams could be sneaking over to our camp at night."

"At night..." Hildegard thought aloud. Her eyes narrowed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** My Knights of Goodness are losing personal items overnight! It could be someone from another team, but it seems more likely that it's one of us. And who among us walks at night? I shall begin interrogations shortly!

 **Kun:** I, um, figured Hildegard might be upset with me for, um, misleading her last night. And, well, she has every right to be. I just did what I thought would be best for the, um, team. And, well, for my game, too, of course.

 **Kirkland:** Heh. Hildegard was so distracted by the idea of a thief for her to stop that she completely forgot about how mad she was at me and Kun. I mean, I'll take it. I can always just buy another hat, but getting her off my back is priceless.

* * *

Hiram and Mark had gone out to a nearby forest with Mark's makeshift hunting spear.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mark asked. "I've never killed an animal before, to my knowledge, but I can't imagine it's pretty."

"Mommy wants me to expand my horizons," Hiram said. "I get so scared without her. I don't want to be scared."

Mark looked deep in thought.

"Mark?" Hiram asked.

"Oh, sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind," Mark apologized. "The, uh, amnesia thing is still kind of freaking me out."

"Do you even remember your mommy?" Hiram asked.

"I can't say I do..." Mark admitted sadly. "I don't know who my family is, or even where I live. It's _terrifying_. I'm just doing what I can to distract myself from all that. Hunting for food should take my mind off of things."

"I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't remember my mommy..." Hiram shuddered.

"You'd... just not remember her, I guess," Mark figured. "You wouldn't understand how much you love her because you wouldn't even be aware that she exists."

Hiram's eyes went wide and his hands started shaking.

"Man, there are no animals anywhere," Mark commented as he looked around.

Hiram smelled the air. "Roxie," he determined.

Mark smelled the air as well. "You may be right. Hey, Roxie?" he called.

Roxie approached the two from the side with a lit cigarette in her mouth.

"What's up?" Roxie asked.

"Hey, uh, I think the smoke might be scaring off the animals," Mark said. "Would you mind doing that somewhere else?"

Roxie sighed. "The empty forest. A locale of solitude. Banished yet from here."

"Sorry," Mark apologized. "We won't be long."

Roxie blew a cloud of smoke in Hiram's face before walking off. Hiram began coughing heavily.

"That wasn't necessary!" Mark called to Roxie. He turned to Hiram. "Are you alright?"

"I hate it..." Hiram said softly.

Mark looked at his friend with concern.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I'm not going to tell Bunko or Hiram about how Elmer wants me to vote them out. I think it'd just freak them out, and I don't plan on voting them out anyway, so what they don't know won't hurt them, right? ...Wow, that's not a sentiment I should really be thinking about. What sorts of things am I not remembering?

 **Hiram:** Fred may be my least favorite teammate, but Roxie's probably second. She never talks to me, she's always smoking, and she's pretty rude to Bunko. I hope we can lose her and Fred soon.

 **Roxie:** The beach has people. The forest has animals. Is there no solace?

* * *

Gretchen relaxed in her team's shelter when Virgil sat down next to her.

"We should talk," Virgil began.

"You finally realized my worth and want to leech off my plot armor, huh?" Gretchen asked. "Fair warning: the protagonist's friends don't always make it far."

"Look, do you want to keep working with Dean and Strawberry, or do you want real allies who can actually help you?" Virgil asked.

"Oh, Virgil, I thought you'd never ask," Gretchen faux-swooned.

"You and I both know that those two aren't going to add anything to the team," Virgil sighed. "And they certainly won't help you as the game goes on. Licorice and I can. We actually know what we're doing and have the skills to do it. And we're willing to vote out Dean next time we lose."

"That's nice and all, but if I'm turning on my allies, we're voting out Wisdom," Gretchen decided. "Dean's so useless that he's a non-threat who won't be able to get anything against us going forward. Wisdom might, though. Remember that she's the reason Jim was voted out at all."

"Tch. You got me there," Virgil admitted. "Fine, Strawberry works too. In fact, Licorice is probably more inclined to vote her out anyway."

"Okay, seriously, what's with the flavor nicknames?" Gretchen asked. "It always takes me a second to figure out who you're actually talking about."

"Catch up," Virgil shrugged.

"Hey, I'm not the one in the minority who's trying to get people to flip on their allies," Gretchen pointed out. "You're the one catching up, here."

"Whatever you say," Virgil said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** If you can't beat 'em, convince their allies to kick 'em to the curb. Sour Grapes will never be my first choice in an ally, but right now, the pickings are slim, and I'll take what I can get. You can never be too prepared.

 **Gretchen:** As useless and pathetic as Dean is, I'm the only one who's ever going to offer him safety, so I know he's going to stay loyal to me. Wisdom has already proven that she can't even do that much, so I'm more than happy to throw her under the bus if it means two more capable allies.

* * *

Ginger and Shadya sat at their team's shelter when Jeremy made his way up the mountain to camp.

"Oh, Jeremy, can we talk?" Shadya asked.

"I, uh, actually just remembered that I left my canteen behind," Jeremy lied. "I'll be right back!"

Jeremy ran back down the mountain trail. Shadya sighed.

"He's been ignoring me for the past day or so," Shadya told Ginger. "I told him to cool it down with the hero worship, and I think he's taken it to heart. I keep trying to tell him that he doesn't need to ignore me, but, well, he keeps ignoring me."

"You want me to talk to him?" Ginger asked.

"No, this is something I'll need to tell him personally," Shadya answered.

"Oh thank god. I'm terrible at emotional junk," Ginger said with a sigh of relief.

"So am I," Shadya admitted. "And Jeremy is very emotional. I may be a genius, but even I don't know what to do here."

"Maybe ask Rowan. They've been hanging out, right?" Ginger suggested.

"Perhaps," Shadya conceded. "I've always felt that there was something off about Rowan, but I can't quite place what."

"That she's fake as hell and not showcasing any form of being the best at anything in spite of being on The Best Team?" Ginger guessed.

"She must be good at something if she's gotten Jeremy to trust her so quickly," Shadya pointed out. "We shouldn't underestimate her."

"We shouldn't stress ourselves overestimating her, either," Ginger said. "Just talk to Jeremy, tell Steve Jenkins that she's bad-mouthing him or something, and that's four votes against her easily."

"You say that as if we're going to lose a challenge," Shadya chuckled. "Don't forget what team you're on."

"Heh. True," Ginger chuckled back. "You think we'll get a mental challenge anytime soon?"

"We may or may not," Shadya figured. "Either way, our team is stronger than the others in every way. Of that, I am sure."

"The numbers don't lie, and right now our numbers are 1st, 1st, and 1st," Ginger agreed.

"Ready to make it four?" Shadya asked.

"Hahaha! Yeah!" Ginger agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I can't help but notice Ginger's inclination towards voting out Rowan over Steve Jenkins in the astronomically unlikely event that we lose a challenge. Perhaps she's more worried about Rowan than she lets on. Either way, I'm certainly worried about her.

 **Ginger:** If you ask me, Rowan's just taking advantage of Jeremy being as dumb as the rocks he likes to climb. She's getting into his head and probably getting him to avoid Shadya so they stop trusting each other. I see right through you, Rowan! You are _not_ the smartest person on this team.

 **Jeremy:** I'm just trying to figure out how I _should_ be talking to Shadya in light of... well, everything I've been told recently. The last thing I want is to say something stupid and completely mess everything up. Shadya's my hero, after all... See, if I'd told her that, she might've gotten mad! This is tough!

* * *

Rhiannon searched through the nearby forest.

"Liberty?! Are you out here?!" Rhiannon called.

Rhiannon found Liberty's unconscious body a short distance away. Rhiannon sighed as she shook her head, approaching the sleeping girl.

"Liberty," Rhiannon coaxed as she shook the girl awake.

"Urghhhhhhh what?" Liberty asked.

"You fell asleep while you were away from camp," Rhiannon explained. "Come on, let's head back to camp."

"Why can't I just sleep here?" Liberty asked indignantly as she slowly stood up.

"Because it's not safe out here," Rhiannon insisted.

"Neither is screwing strangers, but here we are," Liberty droned.

"Actually, porn stars get to know each other before shoots," Rhiannon said matter-of-factly. "We need to establish each other's boundaries, maybe discuss kinks that we're okay with sharing. Plus, developing chemistry certainly doesn't hurt the believability factor of the video itself. And we're disease-free. They're very careful about that kind of thing."

"Let's just head back to the damn camp already," Liberty grunted.

"Hey, so we're good going forward, right?" Rhiannon asked. "Like, as allies?"

Liberty ignored Rhiannon as she hobbled her way back to the Knights of Goodness camp.

"I'll take her silence as a yes," Rhiannon tittered as she followed the sleepyhead.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** The fact that Liberty sleeps during most of the day and doesn't like talking strategy makes her a tougher ally to work with, but I know I'm not her least-favorite teammate, so that's a start. If I keep her safe, I can't imagine she's going to be scheming to flip on me anytime soon.

 **Liberty:** Nyeh... If nothing else, being awoken by someone talking about their sex life is preferable to Tegan. Or Hildegard. Or Kun. ...Geez, my team sucks.

* * *

Bunko and Fred sat by the fire at their team's camp. Fred had removed his sunglasses while Bunko drew a picture of him.

"Does it really make a big difference drawing me without my shades?" Fred asked.

"Of course!" Bunko insisted. "Eyes are the gateways to a person's soul, you know. Also, I just really like drawing and didn't have one of you without them yet."

"Yeah, well, my gateways are kind of broken, hence why I'm always wearing these things," Fred said as he held up his sunglasses.

"I still think it's really neat that you wanted to come out here in spite of that," Bunko smiled. "I'm not sure I could do it."

"Heh. That's what makes your boy a cut above the rest," Fred boasted.

"Hey, guys," Elmer greeted as he sat down next to Bunko. "It looks good," he commented.

"Thanks!" Bunko chirped.

"I think this might be the first time I've seen Fred without his sunglasses on," Elmer pointed out.

"Yeah, well, apparently my eyes cross without me even realizing it," Fred confessed. "These keep everyone else from seeing that. Besides, sunglasses look cool, right?"

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you become blind?" Elmer inquired.

"I was, like, pssh, seven," Fred recalled. "My friends and I were trying to see who could stare at the sun the longest. And guess who won?"

"You did?" Bunko guessed.

"No, it was Kyle Welborn, that son of a bitch!" Fred snapped. "Dude won the contest _and_ kept his eyesight."

"Aw," Bunko frowned. "Hey, could you hold still, though?"

"Right, sorry," Fred apologized.

"So, what do you guys think about Mark?" Elmer asked.

"I think he's cool," Bunko giggled. "So mysterious~"

"We don't talk much, but he seems alright," Fred answered.

"Interesting..." Elmer muttered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I've managed to get at least one caricature of each of my teammates, but I'm hoping I can get some of the people on other teams, too. I've already done Hildegard, but there's so much more that can be done! Jim already got voted out, and the Knights voted out someone last night, too. I need to catch up before I miss my chances!

 **Fred:** I like to think of myself as proof that just because you're blind doesn't mean you can't still be awesome. Here I am on Total Drama and my team hasn't even lost a challenge. ...Unless you count that first challenge, which, I wasn't even the last one on the team to show up, so yeah, awesome.

 **Elmer:** I feared as much, but Bunko just confirmed it: people are intrigued by Mark's amnesia, and it's likely that people will avoid targeting him because of it. I won't act like I'm not curious about Mark's past, but if it comes down to people deciding between voting out me or Mark, I don't want my game to be damned by my memories being intact. But is it viable to do anything about it right now?

* * *

Dean and Wisdom scoured the forest near their camp for food and/or supplies.

"So, uh, Louise extended me an offer to join her and Virgil's alliance," Dean mentioned.

"Really?" Wisdom asked. "What did you say?"

"Well, before I got the chance to say anything, Virgil showed up and vetoed her proposal," Dean admitted. "Turns out he wants to vote me out. Go figure."

"Why?" Wisdom asked.

"I mean, I haven't really been performing in challenges," Dean pointed out. "Or, you know, socially, but I guess that goes without saying. Then again, I guess the challenges part goes without saying, too."

"Would you be averse to working with Louise if Virgil was out of the picture?" Wisdom asked.

"I guess not," Dean answered. "But I'm not sure she'd be willing to turn on him, either. Otherwise, she would have offered to do so. I think."

"If she knew Virgil might have shown up to the conversation, do you think she would have offered it to you openly?" Wisdom leveled.

"I don't think she knew," Dean mentioned. "But it sounds like you really want to work with Louise."

"Over Gretchen? Who wouldn't?" Wisdom figured.

"Gretchen's not the worst person I've ever dealt with," Dean said. "Besides, she called me her deuteragonist or something, which I think means she wants to keep me around. Well, okay, not so much 'wants' as much as 'is doing so for my vote', but safety is safety, right?"

Wisdom giggled. "Either way, voting out Virgil means we lose no allies, right? Although, do you think we can keep Louise on our side if we do so?"

"I don't really have much confidence in my ability to keep _anyone_ on my side," Dean admitted.

"Not even me?" Wisdom frowned.

"Well, I mean, er, I..." Dean stammered. "Oh my god, shut up Dean. I trust you, Wisdom. I really do."

Wisdom giggled again. Dean cocked his head to the side.

"Hey, guys!" Louise called as she ran up to the two. "Find anything?"

"Nope," Dean said. "We may need to start straying farther from camp to find more fruit."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** It's not that I don't trust Wisdom, because I do, but, well, I've misinterpreted people before. I get picked on a lot, so people who willingly spend time with me are an enigma. Is it just out of pity? It's usually just out of pity. But, I don't know, Wisdom went to the trouble of tricking Jim just to keep me safe. Was that just strategy? Either way, I think sticking with her and Gretchen is my best move going forward.

 **Wisdom:** Why does Dean have such a low opinion of himself? Is it because of people like Gretchen putting him down? If so, why does he trust her more than Louise? Gretchen clearly doesn't like him, right? Same as Virgil? That's why he's targeting Virgil, right?

 **Louise:** I may or may not have been listening in on their conversation. And honestly, I'd love to work with them... to vote out Gretchen. It sounds like Dean and Virgil are always going to want each other gone, though, and that's going to make getting three votes against Gretchen difficult. I might have to chat with Wisdom about this later.

* * *

Nestor, Rowan, and Steve Jenkins met up in the forest near the mountain.

"Alright, the first order of business," Steve Jenkins began. "Is my hair hot today or what? I mean, yeah, I'm Steve Jenkins, my hair is always hot, but today in particular, man, I don't know what it is..."

"I think I've successfully gotten Jeremy to stop talking to Shadya," Rowan mentioned. "Or to at least talk to her less."

"But will he vote for her?" Nestor asked. "Remember, the plan is to get the majority against Shadya."

"I believe he trusts and will listen to me," Rowan assured him. "He may not vote for Shadya, but perhaps he'd be willing to stray vote if I told him to. How are things with Ginger?"

"She's hopelessly in love with me," Steve Jenkins said. "It's not something I'm not used to, being Steve Jenkins and all, but there's no way she _won't_ listen to me."

"Well, we'd better hope that's the case, because I've gotten nowhere with her," Nestor sighed. "I don't trust her, frankly."

"How come?" Rowan asked.

"She's sketchy, babes," Nestor said. "I think she thinks she has us convinced that she's willing to backstab Shadya and Jeremy, but I know a liar when I see one, and honey, she ain't fooling anybody."

"Uh, were you not listening?" Steve Jenkins scoffed. "I have her in the palm of my pocket, remember?"

"Well, okay, she has one of us fooled," Nestor corrected.

"Thank you," Steve Jenkins said as he folded his arms, satisfied.

"Let's just continue to lay low for now," Rowan suggested. "If we try any harder to stir the pot, the others will suspect us."

"Uh, do you know who you're talking to?" Steve Jenkins scoffed. "I'm Steve Jenkins. I'm legally not allowed to lay low. Everyone loves me too much. Riots will occur in the streets if people don't get a satisfying amount of Steve Jenkins in their daily lives."

Nestor and Rowan rolled their eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** So, I'm on a team with some of the strongest and smartest people in the game in an alliance against me, and my allies include one of the tiniest girls in this game and a self-absorbed moron. I guess anything less would be too easy for _the_ Total Drama know-it-all of this game, but this is kind of ridiculous.

 **Rowan:** I've managed to convince Jeremy to trust me and keep his distance from Shadya. Perhaps I should work on convincing him that Ginger is sketchy like Nestor says she is. I know he's not likely to turn on Shadya so quickly, but Ginger? There could be something there. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing her go. _(she giggles)_

 **Steve Jenkins:** I don't get what they're so worried about. It's not like anyone's going to vote me out, and if I tell Jeremy and Ginger to vote for Shadya, obviously they'll do it. It's not that difficult, guys, come on.

* * *

The twenty-two contestants met up with Chris by the giant oak tree. Four large crates stood behind Chris: one of each team color.

"Alright, looks like everyone's here," Chris acknowledged. "Winning teams, as you can see, Tegan was voted out at last night's campfire ceremony."

"Can't say I'm surprised," Roxie commented.

"Heh. Imagine being such a lamer that they vote you out over someone who's always asleep," Steve Jenkins chortled.

Liberty yawned.

"Anyway, I'm sure you guys are wondering what your challenge is today," Chris teased.

"If I say we're not, will you just give us all Invincibility?" Virgil asked.

"Hehaha. Nope!" Chris grinned.

"It probably has something to do with these big boxes," Bunko figured as she knocked on the dark green one. It growled at her. "It growled at me," she frowned.

"Not surprising, considering the horrible beasts that lurk within," Chris said darkly.

"What is more frightening than the beasts that lurk within our hearts?" Wisdom mused.

"Bears!" Chris answered.

"Welp, he's got you there," Nestor told Wisdom.

"With a press of this button, the crates will all open, and the bears will escape," Chris explained as he held up a simplistic remote control. "Your job is to get your bear back into its crate. Once it's in, the crate will shut automatically. The first three teams to pull this off will win Invincibility and the first two teams will win a reward. The last place team, of course, will be sending someone home tonight. Any questions?"

"Yeah, uh, how are we supposed to get a _bear_ anywhere?" Kirkland asked.

"Get creative," Chris shrugged. "Oh! I almost forgot. The Best Team and Team I Don't Know - since you guys have six members to the other teams' five, I'll need one person from each team to sit out. It can't be Shadya or Fred since they sat out of the last one."

"I'll sit out of this one," Bunko offered.

"But... who will protect me from the bear?!" Hiram panicked.

"Your other four teammates?" Elmer reminded him.

"I think one of Jeremy, Rowan, or Steve Jenkins should sit out," Shadya suggested. "Since none of you have sat out before."

"I'll do it," Jeremy offered.

"Are you sure? You're probably the strongest person here," Ginger said in disbelief. "Remember that we're dealing with a _bear_ here."

"Actually, Sha- ...I'm sure," Jeremy nodded.

"We got this, bro," Steve Jenkins assured Jeremy.

"Alright, Jeremy and Bunko, you two are sitting out," Chris acknowledged. "Everyone else... Try not to die."

Chris pressed the button on his remote control. At once, all four crates opened, and a bear ran out of each one. Each bear's fur was painted to match the team color of the crate it has escaped from.

"...That means the challenge has started," Chris said flatly.

The contestants rushed to chase after their targets.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** With my holy lance, I expect that the Knights of Goodness will place no worse than first! I would have thee know that this is not my first encounter with an ursine foe!

 **Mark:** I feel like we're at a disadvantage with our bear painted the same color as the entire forest. Is that just me?

 **Virgil:** Do bears like candy? I may or may not use that to my advantage to lure it where I want it. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and right now I'm in the minority and my only hope is Sour Grapes of all people.

 **Shadya:** Is Jeremy intentionally avoiding me? Tell me Jeremy is not sitting out of the challenge just so he can avoid me. This is going too far! First: the challenge, but second: fixing this mess.

* * *

As the blue bear ran away, Hildegard gave chase with her spear in hand.

"Yield, azure beast! I do not wish to make this difficult!" Hildegard commanded.

The other four Knights of Goodness followed closely behind at their own pace.

"How does she run so fast with an actual metal breastplate?" Kirkland panted.

"Lots of, um, practice, I imagine," Kun figured.

"Does she even need our help?" Liberty droned.

"She may be strong, but, um, she is just one person," Kun said. "We should definitely be there to help her."

"How do you suppose we do that?" Kirkland inquired.

Hildegard cornered the bear against a small mountain. The bear turned around and stood on its hind legs, roaring at Hildegard.

"Thou scarest me not!" Hildegard laughed as she brandished her weapon.

The bear swiped its claws at the paladin, who blocked the attack with the shaft of her lance.

Rhiannon scanned the area around her team, particularly at the small mountain behind the bear. "Do you think we could drop something on the bear's head to knock it out?" she asked.

"Do you want to drag a bear all the way back to the big tree?" Kirkland pointed out.

"Well, um, we don't really have any other plans," Kun said.

"Hey, Hildegard! Can't you chase that thing back to the big crate?!" Kirkland called.

The bear managed to swipe Hildegard's spear from her hands and snap it in half. Hildegard's face fell.

"Retreat!" Hildegard shouted as she ran away, with the bear giving chase, completely ignoring the other Knights of Goodness.

"Or that works, too," Kirkland shrugged.

"Is she going to be okay?!" Rhiannon gasped.

"We should, um, catch up to her and make sure she doesn't, um, die," Kun told his teammates as he ran after the paladin and bear. Kirkland and Rhiannon followed. Liberty remained asleep on the ground.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** To fight a beast unarmed is foolish, I care not how much armor and experience thou possess!

 **Kun:** If we're having this much trouble even _with_ Hildegard on our team, I, um, can't imagine how the other teams are doing. I guess that's, um, a point in our favor, though.

* * *

Team I Don't Know chased their green bear through a grassier part of the island.

"Should we slay the beast? Make this easier for us? I'd recommend it," Roxie said as she twirled her knife in her hand.

"Is that allowed?" Mark winced.

"Chris didn't say otherwise, and he's very much an 'exact words' kind of guy," Elmer mentioned. "That said, killing it should be a last resort only."

"How come? Imagine how long that thing would feed us, bro," Fred mentioned.

"Ew," Hiram winced.

The bear found a pond and began to drink from it.

"Well, if you don't want to kill it, what do you suggest we do?" Roxie clipped at Elmer.

"Nothing dangerous, right?" Hiram gulped.

"Give me the knife, I'll kick its ass myself!" Fred declared.

The bear stopped drinking and looked behind itself at the five teenagers.

"Keep it down, you imbecile!" Hiram whispered to Fred.

"Huh? Why?" Fred asked.

The bear roared and began to run towards the five. Roxie grabbed Fred by the hand and began to run away. The other three all followed.

"Hey! What gives?! I can take it on!" Fred shouted.

"To answer your earlier question, Roxie, if we can lead it back to the crate-" Elmer began.

"Now is not the time, Elmer!" Roxie responded.

The group came across a rock face that was covered in ivy. Roxie led Fred to it and placed his hand on the ivy.

"Climb!" she ordered.

Fred complied, and Roxie followed closely behind, as did Hiram, Mark, and Elmer in that order. They all made it out of the bear's reach just as it found them and began clawing at the ivy. The five climbed to the top of the rock face as the bear tried clawing and jumping at them.

"What's up here that's so important, anyway?" Fred asked.

"Not dying seems pretty important," Mark answered.

"Aw, what, that's it?" Fred griped.

Elmer and Hiram shared an awkward glance.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** I don't care about Fred's ego or his need to prove himself. There's a time and a place for that, and it isn't when there's a bear involved!

 **Fred:** Man, for someone who's so obsessed with trying to seem cool, Roxie sure is a stick in the mud. I mean, yeah, in hindsight, fighting a bear _probably_ wouldn't have ended well, but it's the principle of the thing, man!

* * *

The pink bear found a beehive hanging in a tree and tried swiping at it. The Luscious Lollipops watched from behind another tree nearby.

"How are we going to do this?" Wisdom asked.

"Yeah, getting a bear to follow us doesn't seem easy," Dean gulped.

"In other news, the sky is blue and grass is green," Gretchen snarked.

"Well, actually-" Dean began.

"No one cares, Dean," Gretchen snipped.

Dean hung his head.

"I've got a plan," Virgil said. "It's not a plan I'm proud of, but it's one I'm willing to go through with if it means we win."

"What is it?" Louise asked skeptically.

Virgil took an amber-colored lollipop from his pocket and unwrapped it.

"What is that?" Wisdom asked.

"It's a honey pop," Virgil answered. "Bears like honey, right? That bear certainly seems to."

The bear continued trying for the beehive but to no avail.

"Do you think we can lure it back to the crate with the honey pop?" Dean asked.

"No, I'm just talking for my own health, don't mind me," Virgil droned.

He walked up to the bear with his honey pop in hand.

"Hey there," Virgil greeted the beast. "I'm not the kind of guy who shares his candy with just anyone, but a nice-looking bear like you looks like you could make some use out of my lollipop."

Gretchen tried and failed to stifle her laughter.

The bear looked at Virgil skeptically as he offered it his honey pop. The bear snatched it from his hands and stuck it in its mouth. The bear's eyes went wide and its smile grew wide, as it fell back a bit out through the sheer deliciousness of the candy.

The bear ended up knocking against the tree, which caused enough force to knock the beehive out of the tree and on top of the bear, breaking it and causing honey to splatter all over the bear and Virgil.

"Oh shit," Virgil grunted as his eyes went wide.

Predictably, bees began chasing both Virgil and the bear, who both ran away as quickly as they could.

"Should we... help them?" Louise winced.

"What power do we have amongst us that can stand up to the might of a thousand angry insects?" Wisdom mentioned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Which species first discovered the value of honey: bears or humans? Or would bees technically be the first? Actually, what did bees do before they invented the hive? Just fly around and nest within the bark of whatever tree they could find? ...We take bees for granted, don't we?

 **Dean:** Man, Virgil really Deaned that one up, didn't he? Haha... Hey, wait a minute, these guys have never heard that one before. Nice!

* * *

As the gold bear ran away, The Best Team gave chase as best as they could.

"Get back here!" Shayda ordered the bear.

"What she said! Except I'm saying it so it matters more!" Steve Jenkins echoed.

"I don't suppose you remember any bear-catching techniques from previous seasons?" Ginger asked Nestor.

"Off the top of my head, the only time anyone tried to catch a bear was Heather in Episode 20 of Total Drama Island, and it didn't end well for her," Nestor recalled. "She ended up on the wrong end of a tranquilizer gun."

"I do not suppose you have a tranquilizer gun robot with you?" Rowan asked Ginger.

"Tch. Please. Like they would allow a contestant to just bring a robot with them," Ginger scoffed. "Also, 'tranquilizer gun robot'? What does that even mean?"

"Sadly, my knowledge in robotics is lacking," Rowan admitted. "But if you have any questions about hairdressing, I'm happy to help."

"Mmm, girl, I _knew_ your hair was fierce," Nestor smiled. "You did it yourself?"

"I may or may not have had some help from a friend," Rowan said faux-modestly.

"Guys! Focus!" Shadya scolded.

The bear ran into a cave that had a waterfall falling above it.

"Did it just run into a wall?" Steve Jenkins asked in disbelief.

"Don't be ridiculous. There's clearly a cave behind the fall," Shadya told him.

"And... a campfire, apparently," Rowan nodded as she found a smoldering fire nearby.

"Is this another team's camp?" Nestor guessed.

"It was probably the bear's camp before the game happened," Ginger snickered.

"Well, the bear made a crucial mistake," Shadya mentioned. "It allowed us to corner it."

"But how are we going to get it out of there and back into the crate?" Ginger inquired.

"Like this," Steve Jenkins smirked. He walked into the cave. "Hey, bear! I don't know if you heard, but I'm Steve Jenkins. Want to do me a favor and head back to that dark, cramped box for me?"

The bear roared loudly. Steve Jenkins ran out of the cave screaming.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** You know what? Bears are overrated. Corduroy, Smoky, and Winnie the Pooh? All bitches as far as I'm concerned.

 **Nestor:** Don't think I didn't catch Rowan shading Ginger for her hair. Frankly, a girl could use a makeover. I don't think Ginger's even _heard_ of conditioner. _(He snaps his fingers dramatically.)_

* * *

Bunko and Jeremy sat by the big oak tree as Bunko drew Jeremy's caricature.

"You're not holding your smile," Bunko noted. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, my, uh, my mouth muscles are, uh, getting tired," Jeremy said.

"Jeremy, I've been drawing caricatures for years. I know that's not a thing," Bunko pouted.

"Well, if you must know, I made kind of a social blunder on my closest ally," Jeremy explained. "I'm still kind of upset with myself about the whole thing."

"Do you think you'll get voted out?" Bunko asked.

"Not necessarily," Jeremy answered.

"Then you can still make it right!" Bunko encouraged.

"I suppose," Jeremy said. "But I'm afraid of saying something she doesn't like again."

"You'll never make things better if you don't talk it out," Bunko told him. "If you do, then there's still that chance that you can patch things up. If you don't, then there's no chance."

"Of... Of course!" Jeremy smiled. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take! I've been saying that for years! How could I have forgotten?! Thanks, Bunko!"

"No problem!" Bunko chirped. "And hey, there's that smile again."

Jeremy beamed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** Everyone looks better when they're smiling. I always try to get my models to smile if I can, which usually helps the picture _and_ the model. A win-win if there ever was one.

 **Jeremy:** It's decided: I need to talk to Shadya, or else I'll never forgive myself! She may be a celebrity, but she's still a person. I guess I was so starstruck that I forgot about that. But no longer!

* * *

The blue bear continued to give chase to Hildegard as Kirkland, Kun, and Rhiannon followed.

"So what's the plan, o leader?" Kirkland asked Kun.

"Hildegard! Can you, um, lead it back to the crate?" Kun asked.

"I do not have the luxury of being able to take a second and figure out where that is!" Hildegard insisted.

"It's back at the big tree. To your left!" Rhiannon called.

Hildegard took a sharp left, which the bear was not prepared for, causing it to crash directly into a tree. The bear roared loudly in pain as it began to run even faster at the escaping Hildegard.

"It doesn't seem to like Hildegard all that much," Rhiannon noted.

"Can you blame it?" Kirkland snickered. "And hey, better her than us."

"Where's, um, Liberty?" Kun inquired.

"Guess," Kirkland snarked.

"Whatever the case, we need to make sure Hildegard is okay," Rhiannon reminded the boys.

"R-Right!" Kun agreed as he and Rhiannon gave chase to the bear.

Kirkland sighed and followed his teammates.

Further ahead, the bear began to close in on Hildegard.

"I shan't be bested by a mere beast!" Hildegard insisted. "I am a noble paladin of the Knights of Goodness! I will win this challenge for us yet!"

The bear tried to bite at Hildegard's backside and barely came up short, causing her to yelp and run even faster.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kirkland:** All I'm saying is that I genuinely trust Hildegard more than anyone else on this team to be able to stand up to and get away from a bear. And if she does get horribly injured and has to be removed from the game, I mean, we were going to vote her out next anyway, so...

 **Rhiannon:** This challenge is awfully dangerous, but I guess that's just how Total Drama is. I'm just hoping we place in the top two this time. We haven't won a single reward since the shelter-building kit that we didn't even really need.

* * *

The five members of Team I Don't Know sat atop the rock face as the green bear tried climbing up the ivy to get them.

"N-Now what?" Hiram quivered.

"Is this 'last resort' enough for you?" Roxie jeered at Elmer.

"Honestly, knocking it out or even killing it might be our only bet here," Elmer conceded.

"Is there anything heavy we can drop on it?" Fred asked.

"How much do you weigh?" Hiram asked.

"I dunno," Fred shrugged. "Hey, Roxie, you think you could throw your knife at it and kill it that way?"

"How would that work out? This ain't some video game. That just will not work," Roxie answered.

"Kind of a stretch to fit the haiku syllable count there," Elmer commented.

"Do you want to die?" Roxie threatened.

"I'm good," Elmer responded.

All of a sudden, Mark walked up to the edge of the rock face and dropped a stone on the bear. The rock clonked it on the head, and the bear fell over with a noticeable bump on its head.

"Where did that rock come from?" Roxie asked.

"Over there," Mark answered as he gestured to a small pile of similarly-sized stones a short distance away from the fivesome.

"So now what?" Fred asked.

"Now we take it back to the crate it was in, I guess," Elmer figured.

The teens climbed down the ivy one by one.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I can't be the only one on our team who noticed those rocks. I get being fixated on the bear, but come on, guys.

 **Elmer:** Our team's kind of a mess, but we've managed to get by for this long. If we can stick it out for just a few more rounds, I might not even have to worry about a potential vote.

* * *

Virgil and the pink bear both lied flat on the ground covered in bee stings.

"I'd say that was equal parts your fault and mine," Virgil groaned to the bear.

The bear grunted in agreement.

"What do you say we take you back to that box you were in, and maybe a doctor or someone can take a look at us?" Virgil suggested as he stood back up.

The bear reluctantly stood up as well, and the two made their way back to the big oak tree.

"Did... that just happen?" Wisdom asked in confusion.

"Hey, if it means an easier shot at us winning, I'll take it," Gretchen figured.

"I hope those two are okay," Louise frowned.

"'Those two'? The bear isn't on par with one of our human teammates," Gretchen scoffed.

"You're not an animal person, Gretchen?" Dean figured.

"Why should I be? If animals deserved equal treatment to humans, then they'd be fighting for their own equality," Gretchen figured.

"Either way, we should head back with them," Louise decided.

"If animals were capable of speech, would we think of them differently?" Wisdom mused. "Would we be more inclined to see them as equals? Or at least something closer to equals?"

"What about parrots? They can talk, right?" Dean brought up.

"...That does open a big hole in that line of thinking, doesn't it?" Wisdom sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** I've had my share of bee stings, and it's not fun. It's not _that_ weird that I feel bad for any living being getting stung by bees, human or bear. Give me a break.

 **Gretchen:** Part of me wonders if I should be stepping up more in these challenges to further cement my status as the main character, but another part of me feels like getting assaulted by insects is 100% not worth it.

* * *

The Best Team remained outside of the cave while the gold bear remained inside of it.

"So what's the plan?" Nestor asked.

"Here, let me just grab my tranquilizer gun robot," Ginger snarked.

Rowan rolled her eyes. "Surely there must be some way to force the bear out of the cave."

"I don't know, man. If it wouldn't listen to the almighty will of Steve Jenkins, I feel like it's never coming out," Steve Jenkins frowned.

"That was an attempt to coax it out," Shadya said matter-of-factly. "Rowan's right. We're going to need to force it out."

"But how?" Steve Jenkins asked.

Shadya eyed the nearby campfire. "If we can fill the cave with smoke, the bear will have no choice but to come out in order to avoid suffocating."

"Do you plan on carrying a burning pile of wood into this cave?" Nestor asked amusedly.

"No, but if we gather more wood, we can set it inside the cave and light it from there," Shadya figured.

"You're joking, right?" Ginger asked flatly. "And how do you intend to get it past the waterfall without it getting wet?"

"There's enough room to slip in and out without getting wet," Shadya said as she inspected the mouth of the cave and the waterfall that fell over it. "I know what I'm doing."

"Where will we find wood, though?" Rowan asked. "If this is another team's camp, they'll likely have taken all the wood that would be nearby."

"Well, we'd better start searching," Shadya said. "Believe me, if there was an easier way, I'd have already carried it out. Now, let's move!"

Shadya ran off to find wood. The other four remained by the waterfall.

"Now that she's gone, let's try my plan again," Steve Jenkins grinned. "The first time was a fluke, or my name isn't Steve Jenkins."

The other three all left to get wood.

"You're wasting your time!" Steve Jenkins insisted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** On one hand, I know that there simply has to be an easier way to go about this than what Shadya had suggested. On the other hand, none of us could really come up with anything better. So we ended up searching for firewood.

 **Shadya:** I am a genius, lest anyone forget. If I offer a cumbersome solution to a problem, it is only because it is, in fact, the easiest solution. I know exactly what I'm doing, and to suggest otherwise is ignorant at best.

* * *

Chris stood at the big oak tree, on a phone call.

"Yeah, I miss having you as a co-host, too," Chris said. "Did you hear they've got Topher hosting a season with some fancy VR machine? 'Budget cuts', my ass."

Just then, Hildegard ran up to the blue crate with the bear hot on her tail. She took a sudden turn which the bear was unprepared for, causing it to run directly into the crate, which shut automatically.

"I'll call you back; the challenge is ending," Chris said before hanging up. "And the Knights of Goodness go from last place to first!"

"Huzzah!" Hildegard cheered.

"Great job, Hildegard!" Rhiannon complimented as she, Kirkland, and Kun all arrived.

"About time we get a good placement," Kirkland nodded.

Shortly thereafter, the Luscious Lollipops arrived with the pink bear.

"Take care of yourself, yeah?" Virgil told the bear as it trudged into the pink crate and sat down. The crate shut.

"Luscious Lollipops take second place!" Chris announced.

"Not bad at all, I'd say," Dean smiled.

"We've still never gotten a first place win, though," Gretchen pointed out. "We can still do better."

"Is anything ever good enough for you?" Wisdom asked.

"Nope," Gretchen smiled.

"It looks like one of us is going to end up voting someone out tonight," Bunko told Jeremy.

"Best of luck," Jeremy smiled.

"You, too," Bunko smiled back.

Right on cue, Team I Don't Know returned, with Elmer, Fred, Mark, and Roxie all taking hold of one of the green bear's paws. They carried the still-unconscious animal over to the green crate and tossed it in.

"And Team I Don't Know gets third place!" Chris announced.

"Hooray!" Bunko cheered.

"All in a day's work," Fred boasted.

"All you did was piss the bear off," Hiram mentioned.

"And what did you do to help, huh?" Fred asked indignantly.

"Guys. We won. Let's look on the bright side, alright?" Mark suggested.

The Best Team all arrived with their bear - its once-gold fur now charred black - chasing them.

"There's the crate!" Steve Jenkins grinned.

The five gathered in front of the crate before splitting, forcing the bear to run inside and the crate to shut.

"Congratulations, The Best Team, you guys still get last place," Chris said smarmily.

"...Excuse me?" Shadya glowered.

"Yeah, the other three teams all beat you to the punch. Hehaha," Chris explained. "But hey, now that everyone's here - well, except Liberty, but she wouldn't listen to me anyway - it's time to hand out rewards!"

"We'll, um, pick her up after the rewards are handed out," Kun said.

"Knights of Goodness, for getting first place, you guys get a small selection of herbs and spices as well as a grill grate to go over your campfire," Chris announced. "That should make the dining situation here a lot more manageable."

"I'll say," Kirkland grinned as he wiped some drool from his lip.

"Luscious Lollipops, you guys get to pick one. Herbs and spices, or a grill grate?" Chris asked.

"The grill grate would go nicely with our hunting kit, wouldn't it?" Wisdom figured.

"I agree with Wisdom," Dean nodded.

"We'll take the grill grate," Gretchen told Chris.

"Team I Don't Know, you guys get the privilege of not voting someone out tonight," Chris continued.

"It's an honor, knowing we'll be the only team to have never voted someone out so far," Mark smiled.

"Somehow," Roxie added.

"Aaaaaand, The Best Team, you guys will not get that luxury," Chris chuckled. "I'll see you guys at elimination tonight."

"It was a valiant effort, guys," Jeremy consoled.

"Tch. Please. You should have seen what Steve Jenkins did to piss the thing off," Ginger scoffed.

"Shady said to use fire to force it out, so I did," Steve Jenkins insisted.

"I didn't mean to light the bear on fire!" Shadya snapped.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Well, it looks like we, um, bounced back rather effectively. I'll, um, chalk that up to the fact that I'm, um, officially the team leader. _(He chuckles nervously.)_

 **Virgil:** Never let it be said that I'm not willing to make abundant sacrifices for the good of the team. God, I need a shower and a nap.

 **Mark:** So far I've been pretty lucky with how things have turned out. Part of me wonders how long that's going to last, but I probably shouldn't think so pessimistically about it. Focus on the good, you know?

 **Shadya:** Today... has not been a good day. I swore that my team would never lose a challenge, and yet here we are! How on Earth did this happen?!

* * *

After the teams returned to their respective camps, Jeremy and Shadya went off to be alone.

"So, you finally want to talk to me again, now that it's time to vote, huh?" Shadya grunted.

"Th-That isn't the reason why at all!" Jeremy panicked. "Look, Shadya, I..." Jeremy sighed. "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you."

"So it has been intentional, then?" Shadya leered.

"But only because I didn't want to make you mad!" Jeremy insisted. "You told me you weren't comfortable with me admiring you so much, which I wasn't even really trying to do, so I figured, you know, if I gave us some space, I wouldn't keep making you uncomfortable on accident."

"Jeremy, even without the hero worship part, why on Earth would you think that ignoring your ally is a good idea?" Shadya asked.

"It was Rowan's idea," Jeremy said. "I asked her for her opinion on the situation, and that was her advice."

"...Jeremy, that was her plan all along!" Shadya told him as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I...I don't follow," Jeremy frowned.

"Meeting without me?" Ginger asked as she approached the two. "What's the deal?"

"Apparently, Rowan has been trying to separate Jeremy and me," Shadya explained.

"Yeah, she was really obvious about it, too," Ginger snickered.

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Shadya snapped.

"Well, one, I thought you already knew, Miss Know-It-All, and two, it's none of my business," Ginger answered.

"Jeremy and I are your allies. Of course, it's your business!" Shadya snapped.

"Someone's being a Testy Tiffany today," Ginger snarked.

"I'd... better go," Jeremy said as he dismissed himself from the scene.

"Jeremy, I..." Shadya sighed. "The vote tonight is Rowan."

"Not Steve Jenkins?" Ginger asked.

"He may be an idiot, but he's no threat to us," Shadya said.

"Understood," Jeremy nodded before leaving.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** Well, I apologized, and she just got mad at me again. So much for that. I guess it's true, what they say about never meeting your heroes. _(He begins to tear up.)_ Ugh, I need a moment.

* * *

Nestor, Rowan, and Steve Jenkins all remained at camp.

"You're sure none of them will arrive unexpectedly?" Rowan asked.

"Positive," Nestor nodded. "And if they do, we can see them coming from up here anyway."

"So, our first order of business is voting out Shady, obviously," Steve Jenkins mentioned.

"Yeah, but we'll still need a fourth vote, remember?" Nestor pointed out.

"Not necessarily," Rowan mentioned. "We could, of course, convince one of the other three to cast a stray vote. That way, our three-strong vote would be the majority."

"Ooh, you know your stuff, babes~" Nestor complimented.

"Who's it going to be, though?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"Do keep in mind that I've been doing what I can to get into Jeremy's good graces," Rowan reminded him. "If I were to tell him that, say, Ginger is planning on blindsiding him, well, he may just be dense enough to believe me."

"Or he could blab to Ginger and/or Shadya," Nestor pointed out.

"Jeremy is very much the type to avoid conflict. I don't think he would do something like that," Rowan said.

"Those are some famous last words if I've ever heard them," Nestor said. "Believe me, a lot can go wrong if you put faith in someone to not do something that would screw you over."

"Then what do you suggest?" Rowan huffed.

"First and foremost, we should find out who those three are targeting," Nestor said. "Let's say, for example, that their target is Steve Jenkins."

"Come on, at least pick something realistic," Steve Jenkins insisted.

Nestor gave Steve Jenkins a side-eye before continuing. "In this purely hypothetical and unlikely scenario, then the two of you could approach Jeremy and say something along the lines of 'Hey, we're planning on blindsiding Nestor and we want you to join us'."

"He may actually fall for that," Rowan conceded. "I'll see what I can do. I will speak with him in the near future."

"We got this. And you know why?" Steve Jenkins grinned. "Because we've got the power of Steve Jenkins on our side."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** This is a dire situation, to say the least, but if Duncan, Owen, and DJ alone could vote out Bridgette in TDI, then anything is possible dearest fans.

* * *

Rowan later met up with Jeremy by the beach.

"So, how are things with Shadya?" Rowan asked.

"Not good," Jeremy sighed. "I apologized to her about everything, but I think she's still mad about losing. She kind of went off on me."

"Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear that," Rowan frowned.

"At least I tried, right?" Jeremy forced a smile.

"Did she tell you who she wants to vote out?" Rowan asked.

"...Nope. Nothing. Not a thing about that particular subject, nope," Jeremy lied.

"Does she... want to vote for me?" Rowan winced.

"I, uh, well..." Jeremy stammered.

"Were you going to vote for me, Jeremy?" Rowan sniveled.

"I hadn't decided!" Jeremy cried. "I don't want to vote for you, Rowan, because you're my friend, but Shadya's my ally, and-"

"Your ally who went off on you for apologizing?" Rowan asked. "Your ally who got upset with you for being friendly and complimenting her? Your ally who wants you to turn on your friend?"

"I... I don't know," Jeremy said defeatedly. "I feel like there's no right answer here."

"Actually, I may have something in mind," Rowan smiled deviously. "I've been talking with Steve Jenkins recently, and we've both decided that we're sick and tired of Nestor always bragging about his blog and how much he knows about this show. And, between you and me, I think it could make Nestor a threat in the long run. We were thinking of blindsiding him, and I wanted you to join us in that vote."

"No kidding?" Jeremy asked. "I could vote for Nestor. He and I have never really _talked_ talked."

"Great!" Rowan smiled. "I'm glad to have you as a friend, Jeremy."

"Y-Yeah. Me too," Jeremy blushed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rowan:** That could not have gone any easier. There is always the risk of Jeremy spilling his plan to Shadya, of course, but with how poorly she seems to be treating him as of late, I'm not so worried about that. _(She giggles.)_

* * *

Shadya returned to camp to find Steve Jenkins sitting there all alone.

"Where are the others?" Shadya asked.

"I don't know. Getting food or something," Steve Jenkins shrugged. "It's not often you and I get any alone time together."

Shadya gagged a bit. "Listen, I want to... talk game with you," she forced herself to say.

"A bit of Steve Jenkins' trademark genius insight never hurt anybody," Steve Jenkins grinned. "What's up, Shady?"

"What do you think about Rowan?" Shadya asked.

"She's a nice kid. She seems to understand the lifestyle that is Steve Jenkins," Steve Jenkins answered.

"Is that what she told you?" Shadya asked.

"I mean, we hang," Steve Jenkins said. "She's hopelessly in love with me, of course. She hasn't told me, but I've seen the way she looks at me. I want to let her down easy, though."

"So you see her as a friend?" Shadya asked.

"Ohhhhhh, I see what's up," Steve Jenkins winked. "If you're jealous, you've got no reason to be, Shady. You're the cutest chick on this team, bar none."

Shadya threw up in her mouth a little.

"The fact that you're nervous about it makes you even cuter," Steve Jenkins said.

"Look!" Shadya said firmly. "Rowan has been pulling the strings from behind the scenes."

"Rowan? As if," Steve Jenkins dismissed.

"You've seen her talking to Jeremy, right?" Shadya asked.

"Yeah, she's manipulating him, obviously," Steve Jenkins told her.

"Obviously," Shadya agreed. "And who's to say she's not doing the same to you?"

"Uh, because I am above manipulation," Steve Jenkins said. "I'm Steve Jenkins. My mind is beyond comprehension."

"You've got that right," Shadya grumbled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Everyone knows Shadya is gunning for a piece, but I'm not going to give it up that easily. Steve Jenkins is one hot commodity, and I'm not going to give my virginity to just anybody.

* * *

Night had fallen, and Ginger, Jeremy, Nestor, Rowan, Shadya, and Steve Jenkins all met up with Chris at the campfire pit. Torches surrounding the area were lit, as was the campfire itself.

"Well, it looks like The Best Team was the worst team this round," Chris chuckled.

"How long have you been waiting to use that one?" Ginger snarked.

"Shut uuuuuuup," Chris pouted. "Jeremy, you opted to sit out of today's challenge, despite being one of the clearly stronger members of the team. Do you think things would have gone differently if you'd chosen to play and someone else had sat out?"

"No, sir!" Jeremy answered. "I believe that everyone is equally capable of accomplishing anything they want!"

"Realistically, with how difficult that bear was being, any extra muscle wouldn't have been put to any use, given the circumstance," Shadya added.

"Rowan, that's got to be good news for you, right?" Chris asked. "Hearing that muscle isn't necessarily a reason to keep one person over another."

"I may not be able to carry as much as some of my teammates, but I can be useful in other ways," Rowan said proudly. "I like to think I'm pretty smart, and if there's ever a talent show challenge, my team can certainly count on me."

"Physical strength may not have made a difference in today's challenge, but that doesn't mean it's useless," Shadya pointed out. "And Rowan, smart though she may be, is still the physically weakest among the six of us, and there are other smart members of this team as well."

"Well, how is that any different from Jeremy, who is strong but doesn't necessarily strategize?" Nestor pointed out.

"Because Jeremy is a trustworthy friend of mine," Shadya said plainly. "Rowan, on the other hand, seems to be doing whatever she can to undermine me."

"My, now that's quite an accusation," Rowan said, taken aback a bit.

"Jeremy told me all about how you've been trying to get him away from me and to start trusting you," Shadya said.

"Jeremy and I are just friends," Rowan frowned. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"If I may," Jeremy chimed in. "I am friends with both Shadya and Rowan. That's all there is to it. There are no agendas going on here. I just have friends who happen to not see eye-to-eye."

"Steve Jenkins, do you believe that there are no agendas going on, here?" Chris asked.

"Not for a second," Steve Jenkins answered. "I know for a fact that Rowan and Shadya want to vote each other out, and I'm like 90% sure they've both tried to get Jeremy to join them."

"Jeremy, is this true?" Chris asked.

"All I can say is that I will not be voting for Rowan or Shadya tonight," Jeremy answered.

"Uh, excuse me?" Ginger scoffed. "That's kind of the plan. If you don't vote for Rowan, then you're just opening up the chance for the other three to vote out Shadya."

"Which was Rowan's plan all along, I'd imagine," Shadya chimed in.

"Why can't I just be friends with Jeremy?" Rowan sniveled. "Is that really so wrong, that I happen to be friends with one of Her Highness's subjects?"

"Oh, don't give me that," Shadya spat. "Crocodile tears? Really? Are you a child, begging mommy for a toy?"

"I've heard enough!" Jeremy interrupted. "Neither of you are going home! Rowan gave me an offer to vote out Nestor alongside Steve Jenkins! You're welcome to join me!"

"I'm sorry, _what_?!" Nestor blinked. "Tell me I did not hear what I think I just heard come out of that boy's mouth."

"It was to get him to split his vote," Rowan said through her teeth to him.

"I, for one, am ready to begin voting," Ginger said.

"Then let us begin," Chris smiled.

Ginger stood up and made her way to the confessional booth.

* * *

After all six contestants had voted, Chris returned with a platter of five marshmallows.

"You have cast your votes and made your decisions," Chris smiled ominously. "One by one, I will call your names and toss you marshmallows. If you receive a marshmallow, you are safe. One of you will not receive a marshmallow. That person will be eliminated from Total Drama Shuffle Party."

Jeremy began rapidly tapping his fingers together nervously.

"Jeremy, you are safe," Chris said as he tossed the mountaineer a marshmallow, which he caught. "Also safe..."

"Ginger."

"Steve Jenkins."

Nestor, Rowan, and Shadya looked at Chris expectantly.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Nestor," Chris said as he tossed the fanboy a marshmallow.

Rowan took a deep breath. Shadya began cracking her knuckles one by one.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Shadya," Chris finally confirmed.

"Wh-" Rowan could barely muster a response.

"I already told you. I'm the best. And I will be winning this game," Shadya told Rowan.

"Okay, what the _hell_?" Nestor grunted.

"Yeah, how are you going to go against the wishes of Steve Jenkins like this?!" Steve Jenkins snapped.

"One of you must have flipped," Rowan told the boys through her teeth. "To the one who didn't: keep an eye out for the one who did. He can't be trusted."

"Rowan, I..." Jeremy began.

"Jeremy, you may just have been the one good person on this team," Rowan told him genuinely. "Never change, please."

"It's about time for you to go, Rowan," Chris urged.

"I can't believe this," Rowan said with disgust. "Voted out third... I am better than this."

"Evidently not. Hehaha," Chris chuckled.

Rowan kicked Chris in the shin as she walked towards the Dock of Shame.

"Ow! You're toying with your chances of coming back for All-Stars, missy!" Chris scolded.

Rowan ignored Chris as she boarded the Boat of Losers, which drove off as soon as she did so.

"Well, tonight was certainly a shock for a lot of people present. But how are you going to recover from said shock?" Chris asked. "Head back to camp. We're done for tonight."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** Tonight was never going to be fun, was it? I felt a real connection with Rowan, I truly did. It sucks to see her go, but, like I always say, you need to keep looking forward if you want to succeed! Focusing on the past won't get you anywhere! _(He sighs.)_

* * *

Chris stood on the Dock of Shame after The Best Team had left.

"No matter how safe you might feel, at the end of the day, it all comes down to how the votes fall," Chris said. "How will things shake out on The Best Team now that Rowan's been eliminated? Will Team I Don't Know continue to keep dodging elimination? Will the dynamics shift on the Luscious Lollipops? And who keeps stealing the Knights of Goodness's stuff? The answers to these questions and more, may or may not be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Ginger:** Eh, I never really cared for Rowan anyway, so if she's the target, that works for me, honestly.

 **Shadya:** Rowan, your attempts to fracture my alliance were cute, but you're starting to become too much of a nuisance for your own good.

 **Rowan:** Shadya is and will always be a threat, so to cut her now could change the game drastically in my favor. I look forward to it. _(She smiles.)_

 **Jeremy:** I meant what I said. I'm voting for Nestor. Hopefully, I can get the majority against him, because I don't want to turn on either of my friends!

 **Nestor:** At the end of the day, I need people I can trust on my side, and Rowan keeps making all these side deals and she's even throwing me under the bus now? I mean, that was my suggestion, but now it's putting me in real-ass danger with Jeremy announcing it to the world, so it looks like it's either me or her. Sorry, boo, but I vote Rowan.

 **Steve Jenkins:** I don't know jack about this Nestor vote Jeremy's talking about. Dude's probably just trying to psych me out. Well, I'm not falling for it. I'm sticking with the plan to lose Shady. This town ain't big enough for the two of us.

* * *

 _A/N: Another character who was originally going to make it farther, I found Rowan worked a lot better as a shorter-term power player who played too hard too quickly and getting tangled up in her own web of deals. She was a character largely defined by her gameplay, and even then, she started off more in the background than many other characters, making her a bit of a slow burn, but I think five episodes worked well enough for her arc. To my memory, nobody made any mention of feeling particularly strongly about her one way or the other, so I feel like Rowan's early loss won't make any huge waves among the reader base, but I enjoyed writing her well enough during her brief stint in the spotlight._


	6. Tell Me He's Not Saying the N Word

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the Dock of Shame. "In our last episode, the Knights of Goodness started really catching on to the fact that their stuff is going missing, and Hildegard has sworn to uncover the culprit. At Team I Don't Know, the Fred/Hiram beef seems to be growing stronger, while Roxie's beef with everyone seems to be growing stronger. At the Luscious Lollipops, Virgil tried convincing Gretchen to flip on her alliance, while Dean and Wisdom discussed the possibility of getting Louise to flip on hers. On The Best Team, Shadya began to show concern that the burgeoning Jeremy/Rowan friendship might be getting in the way of her own alliance with Jeremy, much to Nestor's amusement.

"Regarding the challenge, our contestants were tasked with bringing a team-specific bear back to the crate it'd been released from. Needless to say, everyone had their share of trouble. Hehaha. The Knights of Goodness managed to notch in a first-place win, albeit after Hildegard's spear got broken. The Luscious Lollipops came second after Virgil managed to tame his team's bear with candy... and get stung by bees. Team I Don't Know and The Best Team both had their share of issues with their bear, but Team I Don't Know managed to figure things out first, leaving The Best Team at the mercy of the vote.

"With Shadya targeting Rowan, and Rowan targeting Shadya, Jeremy found himself caught in the middle. Right before the vote, he announced to his team that Rowan had offered up a Nestor vote to him. Rowan never intended to go through with it, of course, but Jeremy didn't know that, and, more importantly, neither did Nestor, which led to another split vote, this time with Rowan going home.

"Will Nestor regret voting out his ally? Will we see anyone else voting out their allies? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The five remaining members of The Best Team returned to their mountaintop campsite after their elimination.

"Well, good riddance, I say," Ginger commented. "Rowan always rubbed me the wrong way."

"I will say, I am interested in the prospect that one of you two flipped," Shadya mentioned to Nestor and Steve Jenkins.

"It wasn't me, man!" Steve Jenkins insisted.

"Well, it wasn't me," Nestor denied. "I know that for a fact. So it has to be either Steve Jenkins or Jeremy. The other one would have had to vote for me."

"I outright said I was voting for you," Jeremy said. "Nothing personal. It was Rowan's idea; that much is completely true."

"See, if that's not a good reason for him to do it, I don't know what is," Steve Jenkins called out. "And I know everything! I'm Steve Jenkins!"

"Frankly, I don't know why the one who did vote correctly is denying it, because it isn't helping him any. Rowan already left," Shadya chimed in.

"He probably doesn't wish to start a scene. Something I can abide by," Jeremy said. "Let us rest up so that we can perform better tomorrow, team!"

"Stop shouting and maybe I will," Ginger snipped.

"Oop. Sorry," Jeremy whispered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I am fully aware that Nestor is the one who flipped. Let's be real: between the one who's studied every episode of this show, and Steve Jenkins, who's more likely to make a sneaky move? Why he did it, I cannot say, but either way, Rowan left, so I'm not complaining.

 **Nestor:** Mmm, yeah, basically I didn't want to make a scene with Steve Jenkins. I'm still kind of shook that my name was thrown out there so casually, and this mama doesn't need any more drama tonight. Frankly, I would have kept my vote on Shadya if I knew that Rowan and Steve Jenkins were going to vote for her, but I had no idea if they were going to or not, and I had to keep myself safe first and foremost.

 **Jeremy:** It sucks that Rowan's gone, but on the bright side of it all: my alliance with Shadya and Ginger now holds the majority, so on the off chance that we lose again, I won't have anything to worry about!

* * *

Night still lingered, and at the Knights of Goodness camp, Hildegard woke herself up. She looked around the cave, barely able to make out the sleeping figures of Kirkland, Kun, and Rhiannon.

"No Liberty..." Hildegard noted.

She stood up and made her way out of the cave. She found Liberty sitting by the campfire.

"Liberty!" Hildegard whispered.

"Whuh...?" Liberty asked as she turned her head. "Oh, it's you."

"What art thou doing?" Hildegard inquired.

"Keeping warm, thinking to myself," Liberty droned. "What are you doing? Can't sleep?"

"Liberty, art thou aware that members of this fair team are missing personal items?" Hildegard asked.

"Yeah, I'm still missing my sleeping cap," Liberty said as she rubbed the top of her head.

"Truly, though?" Hildegard wondered. "Liberty, hast thou seen any suspicious characters around who may be pilfering from us? I ask only because these things appear to be occurring overnight. And, if thou hast not seen anyone, then thou art the only one amongst us who could be committing such acts!"

"Whoa, excuse you," Liberty winced. "Look, I'm not always just sitting here at camp the entire night. Sometimes I look around for fruit or firewood or something. Someone could strike then."

"But thou understandest that thou art the prime suspect, aye?" Hildegard asked.

"You're going to need more solid proof than that," Liberty said. "Accusing people without solid proof won't do you any good."

"I do what I do for the good of the team," Hildegard insisted. "Something you could learn a lot from."

"If you want to do good to the team, maybe stop shouting for two seconds..." Liberty yawned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I have seen no more suspicious individual than Liberty! Though she is correct in that I lack solid evidence, I will keep a scrutinous eye on her! With my holy lance sadly destroyed in yesterday's challenge, I won't be able to hunt so readily, anyway.

 **Liberty:** I mean, I get why she's suspicious of me, but I also have no motive and like half an alibi. At least look into other possibilities before you go pointing fingers. Geez.

* * *

The next morning, the members of Team I Don't Know, sans Fred and Roxie - all ate breakfast around the campfire.

"Has anyone seen Fred and Roxie?" Elmer asked.

"Maybe they're sharing an emotionally intimate moment together on this fine summer morn~" Bunko smiled.

"Roxie isn't exactly the most emotionally intimate person I've met," Mark chuckled.

"That's what makes it so special," Bunko giggled.

"Seeing them gone has me thinking," Hiram began. "They really do contribute the least of our team, don't they?"

"I wouldn't say that," Elmer said with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah, that's mean," Bunko pouted.

"Without Roxie's pocket knife, Mark couldn't have made his hunting stick," Elmer pointed out. "And Fred has always been a source of optimism."

"Bunko's optimism helps us a hundred fold!" Hiram insisted.

"Hiram, it's alright, I don't really mind," Bunko told him.

"Guess what I found in the forest," Roxie commented as she led a limping Fred back to camp.

"I was just trying to get us some fruit," Fred insisted. "Because _some_ people here think I'm not helping the team any."

"Did it not occur to you even once that falling out of a tree might, you know, hurt?" Roxie sighed.

"Of course it did, but that's all part of the challenge of Total Drama, dawg!" Fred answered. "It ain't TD unless you're taking mad risks."

"Well, we're glad to see you two are safe," Mark said.

"You should rest that leg in the shelter, Fred," Elmer told his friend. "Maybe sit out of the challenge today, too."

"Man, I don't wanna," Fred huffed.

"By the way, has anyone seen my pocket knife?" Roxie asked Bunko, Hiram, and Mark.

"Can't say I have, sorry," Mark said as he shook his head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I know Hiram doesn't really have a lot of friends, so I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he's been getting so angry anytime he thinks someone's insulting me. Is that something his mom taught him?

 **Fred:** Your boy snuck off while everyone was asleep so I could go get us some food. Falling out of a tree was an honest mistake that anyone could have made!

 **Roxie:** Fred is going to get himself killed if he keeps this up. I get wanting to work around his disability, but he needs to be realistic about this. How is he going to get fruit out of a tree if he doesn't even know which trees have fruit in them?

* * *

The Luscious Lollipops gathered around their team's fire, where a bird roasted over the campfire atop the grill grate they had won.

"Smells pretty good," Virgil commented.

"I caught this one myself," Gretchen boasted.

"I still had to pluck the feathers and clean all the guts out," Dean frowned.

"That's the easy part. Stop complaining," Gretchen told him.

"If it's so easy, then why couldn't she do it?" Wisdom asked Dean quietly.

"Something about it being too gross to show in the episode and how she wanted as much screentime as she could get," Dean told her. "You know how Gretchen is."

"Man, this thing's going to be delicious," Louise said excitedly as she inhaled the aroma of the cooking food.

"So, how long do you think it'll be before we shuffle like Chris said?" Dean brought up.

"As far as I could see, there are four Tuhinga Islands," Gretchen said matter-of-factly. "If I were in charge, I'd change islands every six eliminations. That'd match up with there being twenty-four contestants rather well."

"Did Chris say each shuffle would involve moving to a different island?" Wisdom struggled to recall.

"I don't remember. It's all just speculation anyway," Gretchen shrugged.

"Either way, I'm feeling optimistic about our team," Louise beamed. "We've done pretty well, minus that first Invincibility challenge."

"Does that mean Jim was only holding us back or is it mere coincidence?" Wisdom wondered.

"There's no way Jimmy Beans was holding us back more than Dean," Virgil scoffed.

"I'm inclined to agree," Dean said.

"Hey, come on guys, there's no need to talk about any of our teammates like that," Louise said.

"As long as we keep winning, I could care less who our teammates are," Gretchen said.

"You mean you _couldn't_ care less," Dean corrected.

"Shut up, Dean," Gretchen scolded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Dean never contributes around camp and basically never contributes to challenges. He doesn't get food, he doesn't get firewood. I'm just calling it how I see it.

 **Dean:** It's not that I don't want to help, I'm just confident that if I tried, I'd manage to mess it up somehow, and I don't really want to get in the way. Watch, the one time I decide to forage, I'm going to get lost in the forest and injure myself or something. Then I'd be of no use to the team as opposed to barely any use.

 **Wisdom:** Do you think we've discovered every possible flavor there is to discover or are there things that we cannot yet comprehend that still have yet to be found? Where should we start looking?

* * *

Nestor had finished descending from his camp's mountain path when Steve Jenkins pulled him aside.

"What is your major malfunction, man?!" Steve Jenkins snapped.

"Pardon?" Nestor asked.

"The vote last night!" Steve Jenkins reminded him. "What'd you vote for Rowan for?! She was on our side!"

"I couldn't be certain of that," Nestor said with a furrowed brow. "She was getting awfully close to Jeremy, and then he starts announcing to Ginger and Shadya that she made plans to blindside my ass? Nuh-uh, sister. If I'd voted for Shadya, there was a real chance that I'd be the one voted out, and it'd be you against four people."

"What are you talking about? I'm Steve Jenkins. Nobody would dare flip on me and put me in the minority," Steve Jenkins disavowed.

"Sweetie, trust me, I know how this game works," Nestor insisted. "As big of a crime as it would be for Rowan to flip on you, it would also benefit her game a lot in the long run. And look, I'm not in any better position than you are right now. The two of us versus the three of them? Not good."

"So what's your plan then, Mr. I-Know-Everything-About-Total-Drama?" Steve Jenkins scoffed.

"Right now, the tentative plan is to throw Ginger under the bus," Nestor explained. "For now we just ride it out and play it by ear, maybe drop hints to Jeremy and Shadya that Ginger can't be trusted."

"I guess," Steve Jenkins conceded.

"I know what I'm doing. Trust me," Nestor assured him.

"If that were true, Rowan would still be here. I'm just saying," Steve Jenkins muttered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Last night was an absolute cavalcade of lameness. Not only did everyone _not_ vote the same way as Steve Jenkins, but the one person who did was voted out! Nestor keeps on talking about how he's got my back and stuff, but like I'm going to trust him now after he just got rid of Rowan like that! Tch.

 **Nestor:** Right now the tentative plan is to throw... Steve Jenkins under the bus. I don't believe for a second that Shadya would turn on Ginger, and by extension, neither would Jeremy. Those three are unbreakable, but the shuffle will have to happen sooner than later, so I'm just going to ride it out for now, and if all else fails, who's really going to miss Steve Jenkins? People like him are only funny for so long.

* * *

Fred sat in his team's shelter, resting his leg. Roxie sat in the shelter with him.

"You didn't have to help me get back, you know," Fred told her.

"Would you rather I just leave you there, at risk of getting attacked by a bear or boar or something?" Roxie asked.

"I could get back on my own! It's not difficult!" Fred insisted.

"Then why didn't you?" Roxie asked. "I feel like we have this conversation every day, Fred."

"Because you won't let me just be," Fred huffed. "How am I supposed to figure stuff out if you keep holding my hand?"

"You simply are not. You're unable to see, Fred. Don't act like you can," Roxie said.

"Sight is irrelevant! I'm just as capable as anyone else!" Fred snapped.

Roxie sighed. She removed her mask and lit a cigarette. "So, has Elmer told you about plans for a tentative vote?" she asked.

"About us three and Mark working together? Yeah," Fred confirmed. "I haven't talked to Mark a ton, and honestly I'd prefer to work with Bunko."

"Perhaps, but Mark is more likely to flip than Bunko, I think," Roxie said.

"That was the idea," Elmer confirmed as he arrived and joined the two in the shelter. "His memory loss means that he has less of an idea of what he's doing, so anything we tell him would be a revelation to him. If we tell him to leave his weaker allies for more capable allies such as ourselves, he very well could go through with it."

"See, Roxie? Elmer thinks I'm capable," Fred smirked.

Roxie rolled her eyes.

"So, hey, Elmer, what do you think about voting out Hiram?" Fred suggested. "That dude's starting to piss me off."

"Perhaps, but I would prefer to vote out Bunko if we can get away with it," Elmer said.

"Why? Bunko's cool," Fred frowned.

"Exactly," Elmer said. "She's more likely to make new friends or allies in the future than Hiram. Thus, she's a bigger threat."

"Bunko is hardly what I'd call a threat," Roxie chuckled.

"Not in the traditional physical or strategic sense, but socially? She could be scary," Elmer said.

"Whatever you say. But would Mark flip on Bunko? That is the question," Roxie said.

"If he'd flip on Hiram, he'd flip on Bunko," Elmer said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** Elmer has to be one of the most narrow-sighted people I've ever met. He's got his idea, and any other idea just isn't as good to him, no matter if it's actually a better idea or not. Frankly, I'd rather lose Hiram, too, and I think Mark would be more inclined to vote him out than Bunko. We need four votes to get someone out, not just Elmer's.

 **Elmer:** People like Bunko can't be underestimated. Hiram's social game is pretty bad, so I think it'd be easy to get rid of him at any time, but Bunko's the exact kind of person who could get by through her sheer inoffensiveness and ability to get people to like her, and that could take her all the way to the end if we're not careful. It simply makes more sense to nip that in the bud than to get rid of Hiram and risk her making the endgame.

 **Fred:** Man, nobody on this team seems to care what I think. Roxie ignores me when I say I don't want her help, Elmer ignores me when I say I want to get Hiram out. Hiram just talks crap about me all the time. Today's not my favorite.

* * *

Louise and Virgil had gone off on their own, leaving Dean, Gretchen, and Wisdom at camp.

"Has Dean told you about our plan?" Wisdom asked Gretchen.

Dean's face grew panicky as Gretchen's eyes grew wide.

"He did not," Gretchen said in mock interest. "Please, Dean, do tell me about your brilliant plan that's clearly better than mine."

"Er, well, uh, I mean, well, it's not that great or anything, in fact honestly you may have come up with it too, not that your plans are anywhere as bad as mine, but-" Dean stammered.

"Spit it out!" Gretchen ordered.

"The plan is to vote for Virgil!" Dean confessed desperately.

"Virgil clearly doesn't like Dean, right?" Wisdom asked.

"Does anyone?" Gretchen commented.

"He's been targeting Dean since day one, right?" Wisdom added. "And he doesn't provide for the team as much as Louise, right?"

"He's the sole reason we won yesterday's challenge," Gretchen pointed out.

"Am I to believe that you do not wish to eliminate Virgil?" Wisdom inquired.

"That's right," Gretchen confirmed. "We're voting out Louise if we lose."

"Oh, well that works, too," Dean accepted dejectedly.

Wisdom held her index finger up to Dean. "Why should we vote for Louise over Virgil?"

"Uh, hello, Louise has a boyfriend on another team, remember?" Gretchen mentioned. "As soon as they get reunited, then that's it. They will always be each other's closest ally. And, more importantly, way more likely to try and steal the role of the protagonist from me!"

"You are aware of what the alternative for Dean and me is, yes?" Wisdom mentioned.

"Yeah, you already mentioned Virgil," Gretchen dismissed.

"Did you know we've spoken to Louise about potentially working together?" Wisdom asked.

"You _what_?!" Gretchen snapped. She grabbed a nearby coconut and lobbed it at Dean's head, knocking him out.

"What greater poetry is there than you and Louise both wanting each other gone?" Wisdom gave a small smile. "How many more coconuts to the head do you think Dean will take before he decides that you aren't worth helping?"

"Dean knows his place," Gretchen seethed. She narrowed her eyes. "Maybe we should teach you."

Wisdom shrugged innocently.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** _(He rubs his head.)_ Ow... Coconuts hit a lot harder than the cartoons make them look.

 **Gretchen:** I don't know where Wisdom thinks she gets the right to act like she and Dean are above me, but it's starting to get on my final nerve. I'm going to need to cut her loose, and soon.

 **Wisdom:** When will those two realize that Gretchen does not have the final say in everything? That the world does not revolve around her? Will it take eliminating her to get the message across? If so, how soon can we start?

* * *

Kun exited his team's cave to find Hildegard and Liberty glaring intently at each other, sitting opposite each other at the campfire.

"Um, good morning, you two," Kun began.

"Kun, art thou aware of this wench's tendency towards pilfering?" Hildegard asked, not taking her eyes off of Liberty.

"Er, what?" Kun asked, slightly alarmed. "Liberty, is this, um, true?"

"No," Liberty answered simply.

"The exact sort of thing a thief would say!" Hildegard accused.

"It's the exact thing anyone would say regardless of if they did it or not," Liberty grunted.

"I refuse to let her out of my sight," Hildegard stated. "I would be remiss to allow her to cut any more purses!"

"Purses aren't what I want to cut right now," Liberty mumbled.

"What's going on?" Rhiannon asked as she and Kirkland left the cave.

"Yes, I thought we were finished with being awoken by shouting morons," Kirkland added.

"I have discovered our culprit!" Hildegard announced.

"What culprit?" Rhiannon asked.

"Our hats are getting stolen, remember?" Kirkland reminded her.

"Oh, right," Rhiannon remembered. "Was anything stolen last night?"

"Not when Lady Hildegard is on watch," Hildegard said proudly. She stifled a yawn.

"I think you both should, um, get some sleep," Kun suggested.

"But-" Hildegard began.

"She, um, can't steal anything in broad daylight," Kun interrupted. "I promise that, um, nothing will happen."

"Yeah, I'm going to sleep," Liberty decided as she stood up and returned to the cave. "Stare at me creepily all you want. I'm tired."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I didn't think much of this supposed thief before, because nothing incredibly valuable had been stolen, and we had more pressing matters at hand, but, um, now it's costing two of our teammates sleep, and causing a fracture between them. As the, um, team leader, I feel I should do something about this... but what?

 **Liberty:** The grand irony of it all is, by focusing so much on me, Hildegard's probably letting whoever actually did it just roam free and probably actually steal something in broad daylight. Tch. Give me a break.

 **Hildegard:** I will not rest until I can ensure that our thief is dealt with permanently! ...Is what I wish I could say, but alas, even the great paladin Lady Hildegard needs to rest up and restore her energy. How else am I to aid our team in the challenges?

* * *

Ginger and Jeremy sat at the beach, fishing for food.

"You know, for allies, I feel like we don't talk a whole lot," Jeremy mentioned.

"I'm not really good at the whole 'small talk' thing," Ginger said. "You trust me, right?"

"Of course!" Jeremy beamed.

"And I trust you. Why talk more than we have to, right?" Ginger figured.

"Establishing meaningful relationships is a very important part of Total Drama!" Jeremy declared. "Not just to solidify trust for the future, but to make lifelong memories of the bonds we've shared!"

"Does it have to be so loud, though?" Ginger winced.

"Sorry," Jeremy chuckled. "I know I can be a bit much. It's something I'm working on."

"Ah, don't buy into anything Rowan ever told you," Ginger dismissed. "All she ever wanted from you was her vote."

Jeremy shook his head. "Even if she did want me to vote with her, I could feel a genuine friendship with her. And I know she felt it, too!"

"You're going to get taken advantage of a lot with that mindset," Ginger commented.

"You say that as if helping others is bad," Jeremy laughed.

"Good morning," Shadya greeted her allies as she arrived.

"Ah, Shadya!" Jeremy greeted. "I feel I must apologize for my selfishness last night!"

Shadya waved her hand. "You were being manipulated. I can't blame you for being confused."

"So what's the plan, now?" Ginger asked. "Honestly, I wouldn't mind seeing either of those boys go. Nestor is annoying and game savvy, but Steve Jenkins is double annoying, so..."

"The plan is to continue to win challenges," Shadya said firmly. "Yesterday's challenge was based entirely on luck. Whatever obstacles we may face now and in the future, we will overcome them."

"That... That's beautiful," Jeremy sniffled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I've been in a very comfortable position ever since this game began. Chris promised that things will change drastically every few rounds, so honestly, I'm just enjoying the easy bit of the game while I can, because things _will_ hit the fan after that first shuffle. Count on it.

 **Jeremy:** Shadya's right! If our determination to win outshines everyone else's, then there's nothing we can't accomplish! And we aren't The Best Team for nothing! Here's to a future of victory for us! _(He beams.)_

 **Shadya:** Last night was... humbling, to say the least. Losing that challenge, in spite of my best efforts, is not something I ever expected to happen. I am Shadya Aiyub: star athlete and genius. I simply do not lose. I may have gotten complacent. I shall try even harder in the future.

* * *

Bunko and Mark wandered through a nearby forest, searching for food.

"Hey, Mark, can I ask you about something serious?" Bunko asked.

"Oh, sure," Mark agreed. "What are friends for, right?"

"I'm starting to get really worried about Hiram," Bunko admitted.

"What's wrong with Hiram?" Mark asked.

"Haven't you noticed him getting, well, angrier?" Bunko clarified.

"I guess he has," Mark agreed. "I just chalked it up to the stress of being away from his mother in an unfamiliar environment with a bunch of strangers and little food or shelter."

"I guess," Bunko said. "But haven't you noticed he's starting to get, I don't know, weird with me?"

"He is awfully protective of you," Mark nodded.

"Protective _and_ dependant," Bunko frowned. "I don't like it."

"So what are you saying?" Mark asked. "Do you want to vote Hiram out?"

"I'm... not sure," Bunko said. "He's our friend and ally, right? And we need allies, right? But I don't know."

"Well, we've got three other teammates," Mark pointed out. "If Hiram is making you uncomfortable, then we don't need to keep him, do we? I'm sure someone like Elmer would be willing to work with us."

"You think?" Bunko asked.

"Bunko! There you are!" Hiram called as he ran up to the two.

"Hiram? Is something wrong?" Bunko asked.

"I was so worried about you," Hiram panted. "Out there in the forest, where you could get hurt. I couldn't... I couldn't bear the idea of you getting hurt!"

"Hiram, I'm fine," Bunko sighed.

"Yeah, she's with me. You trust me, right?" Mark asked.

"Anything could have gone wrong!" Hiram began to hyperventilate. "What if you both got hurt? Or killed?!"

"Hiram. We're okay," Bunko told him.

"I'm so glad," Hiram smiled as he hugged her.

Bunko and Mark shared a concerned glance.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Elmer's been telling me that I should vote out Bunko and/or Hiram, and now Bunko isn't very comfortable with Hiram. This should be perfect, right? And yet, I feel like, if I do vote out Hiram, I'd be putting Elmer in a position of power that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with him being in. What would stop him, Fred, and Roxie from just voting out Bunko and me after that? Actually, would there be something? I genuinely wouldn't know.

 **Bunko:** I'm so glad I finally got that off my chest. Mark's been friends with Hiram for about as long as I have. If anyone understands, it's him, I think. And... yeah, I think I do want to vote him off. This level of attachment isn't healthy.

 **Hiram:** If anything happened to Bunko, then she wouldn't be able to keep me safe. I can't face the unknown alone! _(He whimpers.)_ I want my mommy.

* * *

Louise and Virgil took a walk through the forest surrounding their camp.

"So, I've been talking to Sour Grapes," Virgil mentioned. "She's down to vote out Strawberry if it comes down to it."

"Sour Grapes and Strawberry..." Louise pieced together who those were. "No kidding?"

"Yeah, as much as I'd like to get rid of Dean, I'm willing to vote out his girlfriend if it means an easier time getting rid of him later," Virgil nodded.

"Do you really want to work with Gretchen, though?" Louise asked.

"Not really, but look at our options," Virgil shrugged. "Sour Grapes hates Dean and Strawberry just as much as we do."

"First of all, I don't hate either of them," Louise frowned. "And secondly, asking Gretchen to work with us just makes it so that she has free reign over this team. It puts her squarely in the middle, where she can side with either us, or Dean and Wisdom. And you know she's going to take full advantage of that."

"That's still preferable to working with the two losers who tricked Jimmy Beans into getting himself voted out," Virgil argued. "Look at it this way: if we get rid of Sour Grapes, then Dean and Strawberry will be inseparable. If we get rid of Strawberry, then Dean's submissive ass will just keep latching onto Sour Grapes. If we get rid of Dean, that'll leave Sour Grapes and Strawberry, and you know they're just going to throw each other under the bus as soon as that happens."

"I thought you just said Gretchen wanted to vote out Wisdom, not Dean," Louise huffed. "And that you were willing to vote her out if it weakened him. If you're going to be difficult, at least be consistent."

"Look, I'm no fan of our situation here either, Licorice," Virgil grunted. "I'm just trying to figure out what our best option going forward is. Maybe it's voting out Strawberry. Maybe it's voting out Dean. But I'm certain it isn't voting out Sour Grapes right now."

Louise sighed. "This really sucks."

"Tell me about it," Virgil chuckled. He took a chocolate bar from his pocket. "Want some?"

"I thought you didn't share your candy," Louise pointed out.

"Not very freely," Virgil confirmed. "Consider it a sign of trust."

Louise looked skeptical but accepted the chocolate.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** Honestly, I'm not _that_ close to Dean or Wisdom, and I should be willing to vote either one of them out. It just feels wrong that I have to enable someone like Gretchen in order to survive on this team. Not that Virgil is necessarily a peach, either, but right now, we're all each other has on this team.

 **Virgil:** The stress of the situation I'm in is absolutely getting to me. I'll be real with you: right now my best strategy is to keep winning challenges so we don't have to vote. I'm doing what I can to make sure things go well if we do lose, and you can see how well that's going.

* * *

Kun gathered Kirkland and Rhiannon inside the Knights of Goodness cave.

"Okay, um, I'm not accusing anyone here," Kun began. "But, um, if either of you is the thief, I think it'd be best if you came clean right now."

"That is absolutely accusing both of us," Kirkland said with an eyebrow cocked.

"I get that you're concerned. So are we," Rhiannon told Kun. "But I don't think going on witch hunts for whoever the thief is is a good idea. You've already seen what it's done to Hildegard and Liberty."

"Perhaps, but, um, what if the thief keeps stealing from us?" Kun asked. "What if they take something, um, one of us can't do without, such as my glasses?"

"But they haven't yet, right?" Kirkland pointed out. "Accusing each other is probably exactly what the thief wants. Until they do steal something we can't live without, I'm not stressing out about it."

"I see," Kun nodded pensively. "In that case, um, what do the two of you suggest we do about this, um, recent divide between Hildegard and Liberty?"

"Why do we have to do anything?" Kirkland asked.

"Our team should be unified as we can be," Rhiannon reminded Kirkland.

"Yes," Kun affirmed. "Team synergy is, um, incredibly important for being successful. In this case, for winning challenges."

"I guess," Kirkland conceded. "Not that either of them was particularly easy to work with to start with."

"He isn't wrong," Rhiannon said. "Nor have they ever really gotten along to start with. It may be best that we don't get involved and just let them work it out."

"It appears to be, um, costing them sleep," Kun mentioned. "I worry that it may affect their challenge performance."

"Liberty had challenge performance?" Kirkland snickered. "But seriously, if we do lose, we can just vote out Hildegard. That's a pretty easy way to get them to stop fighting."

"Yeah, getting involved will probably just make things worse," Rhiannon said.

"I'm still not sure..." Kun admitted. "I feel like something should, um, be done about this."

"I understand," Rhiannon smiled sweetly. "But this isn't our battle to fight."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Wow, they were both, um, very quick to dismiss any discussion of any problem on our team. That's certainly suspicious. Although, part of me can't, um, help but think that they both may have a point. Arguing between teammates may be exactly what the thief wants, and, um, trying to fix this Hildegard and Liberty issue may just cause more arguing. But I'm not sure. I'll keep an eye on everyone and gauge what I should, um, do from here, I think.

 **Rhiannon:** Who do I think the thief is? Realistically, probably one of Kirkland or Liberty. So, either of my allies. It could also be someone from another team, I suppose, but, then, why was our team targeted specifically? Unless that's what the thief wanted us to think. I don't know.

 **Kirkland:** In all honesty, Liberty probably did steal our stuff. Again, I don't care all that much. What's important is that this is all keeping the target on Hildegard, and maybe even on Liberty as well. So, basically, far away from me. I'm not going to act like me getting votes a couple rounds ago wasn't warranted, so anyone else getting the target on their back is fine by me. Heheh _(snort)_.

* * *

The twenty-one contestants met up with Chris in a more open part of the island, where an amphitheater and several chairs had been placed.

"Welcome, one and all!" Chris greeted the contestants. "Winning teams, as you can see, Rowan was voted out at last night's campfire ceremony."

"Not who I expected, but not a surprise, either," Virgil commented.

"So their priority is to keep their team strong," Hildegard noted.

"Interesting..." Mark muttered.

"Today's challenge is a TD staple: the talent show!" Chris announced. "You'll have a couple minutes to decide which talents you'll be using. Each team will have three performances, judged by myself. Your performances can earn one of three scores: thumbs up, side thumb, or thumbs down. Think of a thumbs up as plus one point, a thumbs down as minus one point, and a side thumb as a neutral zero. Your team's ranking in this challenge will depend on how each act is ranked. Does everyone understand?"

"What if two or more teams tie?" Ginger asked.

"Ties are broken by how many thumbs up a team gets," Chris explained. "A team with one of each ranking would rank higher than a team with three side thumbs since they got one thumb up as opposed to the other team not getting any."

"And if two teams get identical scores?" Ginger pressed.

"A brief tiebreaker will occur," Chris said. "Any other questions?"

"Is this the part where we pick who's sitting out?" Hiram asked.

"I guess so," Chris figured. "Team I Don't Know, pick one person to sit out. It can't be Bunko since she sat the last one out."

"Only one?" Mark asked. "But only three of us will be competing, right?"

"Just do as I say," Chris groaned.

"We should sit Fred out again," Hiram suggested.

"And what's your talent, big shot?" Fred scoffed.

"What's yours?" Hiram challenged.

"I asked first!" Fred shouted.

"I'll sit out," Roxie offered.

"Alright, Roxie's sitting out," Chris acknowledged. "Everyone else, decide on which talents you'll be using."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** Talent shows aren't my speed. I'll let everyone else embarrass themselves up there. Besides, if I hadn't spoken up, Fred and Hiram would probably still be arguing right now. And I'm filming this confessional long after the challenge ended.

 **Wisdom:** What latent potential may our teammates hold that we can use to guide us to victory? Will this challenge prove concretely who is capable and who is not? Or is this but one showcase out of many?

 **Kun:** A talent show, hm? I'll admit, I'm not sure that, um, bodes too well for our team. Then again, The Best Team seems to be the only team that, um, has vast amounts of talent. I'm not expecting a first-place win for us today, but maybe a second or third is in the cards? ...What sort of leader am I if I have such little faith in my team? I should work on that.

 **Jeremy:** Yes, the noble talent show! Proof positive that everyone has that little something inside them that makes them truly unique and special. I look forward to seeing what everyone has in store!

* * *

Each team had been given a clipboard, piece of paper, and pen, and had broken off away from each other.

"Okay, who wants to go?" Shadya asked her teammates.

"Are any of our talents really suited for going onstage?" Ginger questioned. "I mean, mine is, but I don't happen to have a robot to show off."

"Never doubt Steve Jenkins," Steve Jenkins said.

"Being Steve Jenkins is not a talent," Shadya said flatly.

"Uh, first of all, yes it is," Steve Jenkins said casually. "And second of all, I've got a specific subset of that talent in mind: I can pop and lock."

"Works for me, honestly," Nestor said. "Anyone else?"

"I have honed my yodeling skills atop many a mountain peak," Jeremy boasted.

"Why does this not surprise me?" Ginger commented.

"You laugh now, but you will be amazed when we win with three thumbs up," Jeremy insisted.

"What about you, sweets?" Nestor asked Shadya. "Surely the all-powerful Shadya has something up her sleeve?"

"Only if you and Ginger don't have anything in mind," Shadya said.

"I really don't," Ginger said.

"Honestly, same," Nestor nodded. "My talents lie solely on the computer and in the bedroom."

Shadya wrote on the clipboard. "I'll be selecting heavy weight lifting," she told her teammates

"Hell yeah," Steve Jenkins grinned. "We've so got this."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** I've seen enough of this show to know that talent shows always end up with at least one act per team horribly embarrassing themselves, and honey, I am not risking the chance of that being me.

* * *

Team I Don't Know, sans Roxie, discussed their own talents.

"Bunko, is it safe to assume that you're going to draw a caricature?" Elmer asked.

Bunko nodded enthusiastically. "I haven't gotten to do one of Chris, yet."

"Just make sure it isn't ugly enough that he takes offense to it," Elmer warned.

"Bunko knows what she's doing," Hiram glowered.

"And what about you?" Fred asked. "What's your talent? Sucking up to Bunko?"

"I'll have you know that I'm very talented in sculpting with clay," Hiram huffed. "Mommy loves each and every sculpture I make."

"I'm starting to think I should have sat out," Mark admitted. "It occurs to me that I don't remember having any talents."

"Aw, I'm sure you do," Bunko consoled.

"Well, we only need one more act, and, if Mark doesn't have anything, it has to be Fred or me," Elmer mentioned.

"I thought you'd never ask, dawg," Fred grinned. "Fun fact: your boy listens to a ton of music, and I can rap like Kendrick."

"Elmer, please tell me you have a better idea," Hiram pleaded.

" _I_ certainly can't rap like Kendrick," Elmer responded. He wrote on the clipboard and then showed his teammates: Bunko - Caricatures, Hiram - Clay Sculpting, Fred - Rapping.

"Looks good," Mark nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** ...Wait, is Fred going to be saying the N word? Please, dear god, tell me he's not saying the N word.

* * *

The Luscious Lollipops, meanwhile, had their own discourse.

"Do any of us even have talents?" Gretchen questioned.

"Dean's talent is annoying everyone," Virgil quipped.

"Haha. True," Dean chuckled awkwardly.

"What do the two of you intend to bring to the table?" Wisdom asked Gretchen and Virgil.

"I could ask you the same," Gretchen scoffed.

"Guys!" Louise mediated. "I'll start. I can juggle a soccer ball for, like, an absurd amount of time."

"That could work," Dean smiled.

"You think that's cool? I can play the saxophone," Gretchen bragged.

"Do we have a saxophone handy?" Wisdom asked.

"I brought mine to the game, just in case," Gretchen explained. "It's in my bag back at camp. I'm sure an intern can go get it."

"Awesome," Louise grinned. "We just need one more talent."

Silence.

"Do you think I should sing?" Wisdom suggested.

"You can sing?" Virgil asked.

Wisdom moved her hand in a 'so-so' motion. "Two years of choir experience is better than nothing, right?"

"I'm sure you'll do great," Dean encouraged.

"I'm sure we'll all do great," Louise added genuinely. "Let's kick some ass, team!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Our talents might not be all that impressive - okay, Louise's and Wisdom's aren't; mine's awesome - but I have a good feeling about this one.

* * *

"Okay, so, um, what can we do?" Kun asked his teammates.

"Would that Lord McLean might allow thievery as a talent," Hildegard said with a side-eye to Liberty.

"Yeah, maybe your knack for stealing precious sleeping hours from me could come in handy," Liberty yawned.

"Neither of you will be, um, competing," Kun told the two.

"I beggeth thy pardon!" Hildegard snapped.

"I mean, I wasn't going to anyway," Liberty commented.

"You two need to learn to, um, get along if our team is going to work as a unit," Kun explained. "I want you two to, um, talk things out while the rest of us perform."

"Thou hast a lot of nerve acting like thou hast any right to tell me what I can't and should do," Hildegard accused.

"As physically ill as agreeing with Hildegard makes me, we might as well let her go," Kirkland chimed in. "I don't have any talents to speak of."

"Let's just start with who we absolutely want to go," Rhiannon figured. "Kun, by telling Hildegard and Liberty not to go, that implies that you want yourself and me to perform, right? What's your talent?"

"I'm, um, still thinking of something," Kun admitted.

"I'm not bad at gymnastics," Rhiannon offered.

"If I still had my holy lance, I would perform a showcase of warm ups," Hildegard lamented. "Lo, it was destroyed by that damned bear."

"I'll, um, write it down anyway," Kun said. "Perhaps, um, they can provide one."

"Given up on not letting her compete?" Kirkland asked.

"She makes a strong point," Kun gulped.

Hildegard smirked smugly.

"Our leader," Kirkland whispered sarcastically to Rhiannon.

"So, Kun, have you decided on a talent?" Rhiannon asked.

"Uh..." Kun tried to think of something. "Pencil sharpening?"

"Why do I believe without a shadow of a doubt that that is actually your biggest talent?" Kirkland quipped.

"I can, um, sharpen a hundred and twenty pencils a minute!" Kun insisted.

"It's something," Rhiannon figured.

Kun wrote it down.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** My talent is uhhhhhhhh disappointing my parents. Which I _probably_ couldn't translate into a talent show. Nyeh. I honestly don't care enough to try.

* * *

Each team had turned in their talent submissions.

"Alright, we have our submissions!" Chris announced to the contestants, each sitting in one of the audience chairs. "We're currently retrieving any items that may be necessary for specific talents, so let's start with one that doesn't require anything. For The Best Team, we have a pop and lock dance as performed by Nestor!"

"Um, excuse?" Nestor asked.

"I think you misread that, Chris," Steve Jenkins said. "I'm supposed to be doing that."

"Uh, I only asked you guys to give me talents," Chris laughed. "I don't know where you all got the idea that you guys got to decide who would be performing said talents. Hehaha."

"I can do a lot of things, but girl, you do _not_ want to see me dance," Nestor said with a snap of his fingers.

"You can pass if you want, but it'll be an instant thumbs-down for your team," Chris told him.

"Just do it, Nestor," Shadya said shortly.

Nestor forced himself to stand up and make his way up to the amphitheater.

"You can do it!" Jeremy encouraged.

Music began to play after Nestor had arrived onstage. He took a deep breath and began awkwardly moving in what could only vaguely qualify as dance steps. If one were generous.

"You call that pop and locking?" Chris laughed as he flashed a thumbs-down. "Get off the stage, kid."

"I'd like to see you do better, binch," Nestor grumbed as he got off stage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Damn, Chris has never pulled a twist on the talent show like this before. Which, honestly, I'm surprised it took him this long, but I'd rather he didn't spring it on us in the game _I'm_ playing. _(He huffs.)_

* * *

"Next up!" Chris segued. "For Team I Don't Know, we have caricatures as done by... let's have Elmer go up."

"Remember to make it silly but not humiliating!" Bunko told Elmer as she handed him her sketchpad and pencil.

"I have some drawing experience. I'm sure I'll get a side thumb at least," Elmer told her as he accepted the items and made his way on stage.

Elmer sat down on a provided stool and began drawing Chris.

"I didn't know Elmer had drawing experience," Bunko commented. "We could have talked about it."

"He must have known he'd never hold a candle to your amazing talent," Hiram told her.

Chris checked his watch. "How much longer is this going to take?"

"These things take time," Elmer winced.

"Take less time. We've got ten other performances to get through," Chris told him.

Elmer sped through the rest of the drawing as best as he could.

"It's no Van Gogh, but it's something," Elmer said as he walked up to Chris and showed him the drawing.

Chris examined it and gave Elmer a side thumb. "It's more of a cartoon than a caricature, but it's cute enough."

"I'll take it," Elmer nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** So far, so good. At this rate, if we get at least one thumb up, I think we'll have done better than The Best Team by default. The four-team layout is doing us wonders, huh? _(He chuckles.)_

* * *

"Alright, Luscious Lollipops..." Chris began. "Louise claims she can juggle a soccer ball, but I'm going to make Dean do it instead!"

"Of course," Dean, Gretchen, and Virgil all said at once.

An intern handed Dean a soccer ball, and Dean made his way up to the stage. He looked at his team hoping for reassurance. Wisdom gave him a small reassuring smile.

Dean took a deep breath. "Here goes," he decided.

Dean lobbed the ball in the air and attempted to juggle it with his knees, but he missed, and the ball fell straight back down to the ground.

Chris laughed as he gave Dean a thumbs-down.

"W-Wait! I can do it! Let me have another try!" Dean pleaded.

"Did Nestor or Elmer get another try? I don't think so," Chris said.

Dean sighed as he left the stage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** I guess that was inevitable. At least I got the band-aid off pretty quickly, right? _(He laughs awkwardly.)_

* * *

"Knights of Goodness!" Chris began. "Time for a performance of gymnastics, by Kirkland!"

"Of course it's me," Kirkland complained. He whispered to Rhiannon. "Any tips?"

"How flexible are you?" Rhiannon asked.

"How flexible do I look?" Kirkland asked flatly.

"Sometime today, Kirkland," Chris coaxed.

"Urgh," Kirkland groaned as he trudged onto the stage. "What even are gymnastics?"

Kirkland began performing basic stretches, looking to Rhiannon in hopes that she'd help. She simply shrugged.

Kirkland attempted to do a cartwheel, which ended up with him falling on his back as soon as his feet left the ground.

"Yeah, I think we've seen enough," Chris said with a thumbs-down. "So that's the end of Act 1. Right now, Team I Don't Know is in the lead with zero points, while the other three teams trail behind at a three-way tie for negative one! Hehaha."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kirkland:** I don't know what Chris is expecting. People tend to screw up the talents they actually _do_ have in these talent shows. How on earth are we supposed to pull off talents we don't have?

* * *

"To kick off Act 2, it's back to The Best Team!" Chris announced. "For this round, we will have a lovely yodeling performance by Shadya."

"Someone actually had yodeling as a talent?" Gretchen asked in disbelief.

"This will be the easiest challenge yet," Shadya declared as she made her way onto the stage.

Shadya cleared her throat before bursting out into a masterful bout of yodeling, the likes of which no one has ever heard before or since. The collective audience all had their jaws to the floor as Shadya wrapped it up before she took a bow and excused herself from the stage.

"Well shoot, I wasn't expecting that to actually be good," Chris said with his thumb up.

"I am perfection personified," Shadya stated. "Expecting any less from me is your own fault."

"I couldn't have done it better myself," Jeremy complimented.

"I could have," Steve Jenkins said. "But yodeling isn't very becoming of Steve Jenkins."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I had a feeling Chris would pull something like this. He only said we had to pick talents, which seemed like an odd way to word it. I wasn't sure if he was going to make our team do the talents we selected, or another team, which I why I chose weightlifting as mine: I figured almost anyone from our team could feasibly do it, but it would be a challenge for those on the other teams.

* * *

"Next up, for Team I Don't Know, our friend Mark will be sculpting with clay," Chris said as some interns set a table with a big lump of modeling clay atop it on the stage.

"Well, here goes nothing," Mark figured as he walked up behind the table. He examined the clay and began shaping something with it.

"What do you think he's making?" Bunko asked her teammates.

"A pumpkin," Fred answered.

"Maybe his muscle memory is kicking in and it'll reveal something about him that none of us knew," Bunko said excitedly.

"Like what?" Elmer asked.

"Don't doubt Bunko. She knows what she's talking about," Hiram growled.

Bunko and Elmer looked at Hiram uncomfortably.

"Ta-da..." Mark said uncertainly as he showed off his finished product, which didn't seem to resemble anything in particular.

"...What is it?" Chris asked.

"It's, uh, abstract," Mark said.

"This is why art is BS," Chris commented with a thumbs-down.

"You gave Elmer's art a side thumb," Mark muttered as he left the stage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Alright, so I think we can rule out "sculptor" as a potential backstory. I just hope the rest of the acts struggle as much as I did, because there's still a chance we can avoid last place.

* * *

"Someone on the Luscious Lollipops is a saxophonist," Chris said. "But she won't be playing for us today. Instead, we've got Virgil!"

"I feel like this is racist," Virgil said as he took the lollipop he'd been sucking on out of his mouth and handed it to Dean, who held onto it with disgust.

Virgil made his way onto the stage as an intern handed him Gretchen's saxophone.

"You'd better be careful with that!" Gretchen warned him. "Saxophones are not cheap to maintain!"

"You can pay for repairs after you've won the game," Virgil said cheekily.

Gretchen's hands balled into fists.

"He's not worth it," Dean told her.

" _You're_ not worth it!" Gretchen retorted.

Virgil began his attempt at playing the saxophone. From the very first note, it was off-key and ear-piercing.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Chris shouted. He jerked his thumb downward aggressively. "I can see now that this and everything I did that led up to this point was a mistake."

"So you liked it?" Virgil asked dryly.

He left the stage and returned the saxophone to the intern.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Evidently, playing the saxophone isn't as easy as "blow into the hole and press the buttons". Who'da guessed?

* * *

"To close off Act 2, we have another performance from the Knights of Goodness," Chris said. "Showcasing his skills with a spear, it's Kun!"

"O-Oh dear," Kun gulped.

An intern approached the Knights of Goodness with Hildegard's spear - now repaired.

"My holy lance!" Hildegard burst effusively.

"Ah ah ah. You mean _Kun's_ holy lance," Chris corrected.

"You can, um, have it when I'm done with it," Kun told her quietly as he accepted the spear from the intern.

Kun walked on stage, looked at the audience, and then looked at the spear. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked himself.

"Brandish thy weapon! Flourish!" Hildegard instructed him.

"Uh..." Kun weakly stabbed the air in front of him with the spear.

"Laaaaaaaame," Chris said with his thumb down.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** What sort of leader is unable to perform on behalf of his team in challenges? Sure, I've never touched a spear in my life, but, um, I should be able to adapt. Perhaps I should ask Hildegard permission to, um, practice with her spear sometime. Or, um, enact my authority as leader to do so without her consent. _(His eyes go wide.)_ ...That, that came out wrong!

* * *

"For those wondering about score right now..." Chris began. "The Best Team leads with zero total points. Team I Don't Know is currently in second place with negative one points, while the Luscious Lollipops and Knights of Goodness are tied for last with negative two. This last round could mean a lot."

"We're already guaranteed not to vote someone out at this point, right?" Ginger mentioned to her teammates. "Nice."

"I'm glad you think so, Ginger because you're up next!" Chris said. "Performing some impressive weight lifting."

As Chris said this, two interns carried a heavy barbell weight onto the stage.

"Pfft. Is that all?" Ginger asked, failing to hide her nerves.

"We can always make it heavier if you think it won't be impressive enough," Chris mentioned.

"I'm good! I'm good," Ginger insisted as she made her way onto the stage and behind the barbell.

Ginger studied the weight, trying to figure out what she should do. She bent down, grabbed onto it, and did what she could to lift the barbell. She strained and struggled, but she managed to get it above her head for a brief second before forcing herself to drop it back onto the stage.

Chris gave her a side thumb. "Better than I expected, but it could have been better."

"I literally could not have done better, but okay," Ginger grumbled as she left the stage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I think the fact that my team currently sits at zero points and is still holding a considerable lead says more about the challenge than I ever could.

* * *

"And now, presenting for Team I Don't Know..." Chris continued. "A stellar rap performance by Bunko!"

"Me?!" Bunko gasped.

"You're going to do great," Hiram told her.

"I've never rapped before," Bunko said unsurely. "But I'll give it a try!"

Bunko marched onto the stage and stood behind the microphone stand that had been placed there. She cleared her throat.

"Yo let me tell you something, let me tell you what's what. My name is Bunko and I'mma kick your butt," Bunko rapped. "Repping Team I Don't Know, the only team that's never lost. You're bringing weak shit and I'm bringing the sauce."

"Sauce?" Elmer asked Fred.

"I'm gonna win, let it be known," Bunko continued. "I'm the realest ni-"

"Alright, I'm going to cut you off there," Chris interrupted with a side thumb. "I've heard worse."

"Hey! She performed her heart out!" Hiram objected.

"We're still guaranteed not to get last, I think," Mark pointed out. "Besides, with all the thumbs-downs Chris has given out, a side thumb may as well be a mark of approval."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I think this could be the beginning of a long and successful rap career. You know, if the caricatures thing doesn't work out. I know where my passions lie.

* * *

"Moving right along, for our penultimate round..." Chris built up. "For the Luscious Lollipops, a singing performance by our very own Louise!"

"Well... how hard can singing be?" Louise figured as she made her way onto the stage.

Elmer discreetly gave her a thumbs-up. A smile adorned her bright red face. She stood behind the same microphone Bunko had just used and began to sing.

"All the... small things. True care... truth brings," Louise sang. "I'll take... one lift. Your ride... Best trip. Always, I know, you'll be at my show. Watching, waiting, commiserating. Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home! Na na na na-"

"Alright, we get the gist," Chris said with a side thumb. "Again, I've heard worse."

"I'll take it," Louise giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** Elmer and I both love Blink-182. I grew up with them, and he's just starting to get into them now that I've introduced him. Gotta love the classics, right? _(She giggles.)_

* * *

"And now... the final act!" Chris said. "As it stands, The Best Team and Team I Don't Know are in an impassable 1st and 2nd respectively. The Knights of Goodness will need a thumbs-up to place 3rd, or a side thumb to go into a tiebreaker with the Luscious Lollipops. And, displaying her skills in pencil sharpening, it's Liberty!"

Hildegard, Kirkland, Kun, and Rhiannon all glanced at Liberty, who had been asleep the entire time. Kirkland nudged her.

"Hey. Liberty," Kirkland urged.

"Slumbering child! Awaken thyself that thou may serve thy team!" Hildegard barked.

"Huh? What?" Liberty asked as she snapped awake.

"It's, um, your turn," Kun told her.

"I thought I wasn't doing anything," Liberty griped.

"Chris, um, is making other people do the talents we submitted," Kun explained.

"It's just pencil sharpening. Nothing difficult," Rhiannon told her.

"I, um, resent that," Kun said.

"Eh, whatever," Liberty sighed as she made her way onto the stage, where several unsharpened pencils and a manual pencil sharpener sat upon a table. She took a pencil, stuck it in the sharpener, and began slowly turning the crank.

"Come on, faster..." Kun muttered anxiously.

Chris yawned.

"Heh. Mood," Liberty commented. She yawned before falling back asleep.

Chris gave Liberty a prompt thumbs-down.

"Oh..." Kun frowned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** I fell asleep again during the challenge, didn't I? Of course I did. It's not like I'm trying to, I just, you know, don't usually stay up when there's daylight.

* * *

Chris now stood on the stage with his scorecard in his hand.

"Now, the placements here should be no surprise, since I just mentioned them," Chris said. "But The Best Team gets a very clear 1st place, with zero points overall. As a reward, you get a free bag of rice and a free bag of beans! That should help sustain you during your time here on Whenua."

"Aw, what, that's it?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"Or I could give you no reward and you can continue to starve," Chris suggested.

"Eh, nah, I prefer the first one," Steve Jenkins conceded.

"Team I Don't Know, with an overall negative one point, you get to choose between a bag of rice or a bag of beans," Chris continued.

The five competing members of the team discussed amongst themselves.

"We'll take the rice," Mark told Chris.

"Gotcha," Chris acknowledged. "Luscious Lollipops, with negative two points, you guys barely avoid elimination. Try to keep up."

"You're the one who arbitrarily assigned value to our performances," Gretchen muttered.

"And, of course, Knights of Goodness, with a nice even negative three points, you guys will be voting someone out tonight," Chris concluded. "Have fun deciding who that's going to be!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** A return to form worthy of The Best Team! It's no surprise that we were the only ones to score a thumbs-up!

 **Roxie:** Talent is abstract. Such is the case with all art. What a waste of time.

 **Wisdom:** How might things have differed if those who intended to perform got to showcase their real talents? Would we have done better? Worse? Does it truly matter one way or the other? It never happened, and never will, right?

 **Hildegard:** I may have my holy lance back, and in better condition than ever, but we still lost! Of course, it may be time to finally deal with the foul thief that's been plaguing my fair Knights!

* * *

After the teams returned to their camps, Hildegard spoke to Kun alone.

"Hear, hear! I think it's about time that we vote out our thief!" Hildegard told Kun.

"Erm, yes, well, are you sure we can do that?" Kun asked. "Keep in mind that Kirkland, Liberty, and Rhiannon are all, um, in an alliance."

"Dost thou doubt me?" Hildegard scoffed. "I know very well what I am doing. Besides, would doing what is best for the team not line up with your perception of authority? What other choice have thee?"

"I'm sure I don't, um, have to tell you about the push against you," Kun explained.

"Surely thou jest!" Hildegard scoffed. "I am the only one keeping this team from losing every single challenge. Excommunicating the great paladin Lady Hildegard would be an act most foolish! Suicidal, I daresay!"

"Well..." Kun trailed off.

"I cannot fathom any good reason to eliminate me!" Hildegard continued. "Not when there's someone else on this team actively sabotaging us!"

"Well, think about it," Kun said. "Why would any of those three, um, abandon an easy majority? Even if one of them is stealing from us, and even if the other two knew, it would be more practical to, um, stick together, right?"

"So thou throwest me under the bus?!" Hildegard accused. "What sort of leader art thou, that thou would cast a fellow teammate aside to save his own hide?!"

"The-The kind who is just doing what he can to get by!" Kun panicked. "Look, you're absolutely right about the whole 'challenge strength' thing. That does worry me. If you think you can, um, convince one of the others, then, please, by all means. But I can't, um, do anything for you."

"Tch. No kidding," Hildegard said as she made her leave.

Kun sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I do understand Kun's position, but that does not mean that I respect his decision! I have always known him to be cowardly and not fit to lead! So much for protecting his supposed position as team leader, if he's just going to let the other three call all the shots.

 **Kun:** All I know is that, um, if I were in the same position as Kirkland, Liberty, or Rhiannon, I wouldn't be so keen to turn on my allies. That's simply, um, bad gameplay. But if we lose Hildegard, then, um, I would be next, and if losing her means losing more challenges, then... yeah, not good.

* * *

Kirkland, Liberty, and Rhiannon, meanwhile, met up in the team's cave.

"So, we're voting Hildegard, right?" Liberty droned.

"Of course," Kirkland snorted satisfiedly. "She's been a pain in my ass for four days too long."

"Same," Liberty agreed.

"I'm still not sure we shouldn't vote out Kun," Rhiannon mentioned. "Hildegard has been helpful in challenges, and we could use that, with our current track record."

"Use your head, Rhiannon," Kirkland sighed. "We should be shuffling soon. Obviously, that will mean new teams. If we let Hildegard survive to that point, then she'll sell us out immediately to anyone who wants an easy target. Kun would do no such thing. He had every chance to vote me out in our last vote, and he stuck with us. That says a lot about him, doesn't it?"

"Plus, Hildegard's hella annoying," Liberty added.

"That, too," Kirkland affirmed.

"We don't know for sure when we'll be shuffling," Rhiannon pointed out. "There's every chance that, if Hildegard goes, the rest of the Knights of Goodness will follow, one after the other. That's basically what happened after Harold quit Team Victory, so don't tell me that can't happen."

"Liberty and I are not bending on this," Kirkland said firmly. "We will be getting Kun to vote with us. Please don't make this more difficult than it needs to be."

Rhiannon turned to Liberty, who had fallen asleep. She sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kirkland:** Rhiannon is smarter than you'd think, being a porn star and all. Which is why it bugs me when she tries pitching stupid ideas that won't benefit us as much as the idea that's already been established. She should know better.

 **Rhiannon:** I really don't think now is the time to vote out Hildegard. Don't get me wrong, I totally get why they want her gone, but we've lost half the invincibility challenges so far. We need Hildegard to win challenges, like her or not. None of the rest of us are exactly challenge-oriented, you know?

* * *

Rhiannon had left the cave, and Kun had entered.

"Oh, Kun, just the man I wanted to talk to," Kirkland greeted.

"M-Me?" Kun asked, surprised. "I mean, um, of course. As the team leader, it is my duty to-"

"Yeah, whatever," Kirkland dismissed. "I spoke to Liberty and Rhiannon, and it looks like there's a nice Hildegard vote on the way. I take it you're in?"

"That sounds, um, good," Kun said with a weak smile.

"You've seen the way she tries to act like she's so above us," Kirkland said. "The way she thinks she's in charge of anything around here. Gets real annoying, huh?"

"You don't, um, have to tell me twice," Kun agreed.

Liberty stirred in her sleep.

"Um, if you don't mind me suggesting something..." Kun whispered. "As annoying as Hildegard is, what about Liberty? She, um, doesn't really deliver in challenges, not to mention the thief allegations."

"Frankly, I couldn't care less about either of those things," Kirkland dismissed. We need to think long-term. And, in the long term, who's more likely to screw us over when we've got new teams? Sleepy little Liberty, or Hildegard, who's made it her mission to get in our way from the very second the Knights of Goodness were formed?"

"You do, um, make a good point," Kun said.

"I just don't want our wise leader doing something he may regret," Kirkland said insincerely.

"Well, I appreciate that," Kun said.

"It's not an easy position to be in. I feel that," Kirkland said. "But, if we play our cards right, the shuffle should be an easy time for the four of us who remain after the vote. And I guarantee that we'll all make the shuffle."

"I certainly, um, hope so," Kun agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** Yeah, this should be a pretty straightforward vote. I think. I didn't pay that close attention to the strategizing after we lost. Do I really need to? It's a straightforward vote.

* * *

Hildegard found Rhiannon tending to the team's fire.

"Pleasant eve, Rhiannon," Hildegard greeted.

"Hey, Hildegard," Rhiannon responded.

"Thou seem to have something on thy mind," Hildegard deduced.

"...You know what it is?" Rhiannon decided to disclose. "Kirkland wants to vote for you, but I'm not convinced that's such a great idea."

"Well, of course, it isn't," Hildegard scoffed. "Though I will say, his insistence on voting for me surprises me not!"

"You did kind of declare war on him after the Tegan vote," Rhiannon pointed out.

"I did nothing unprovoked!" Hildegard insisted.

"Well, anyway, he swears he's going to get Kun onboard for a 4-1 sweep," Rhiannon continued. "Have you spoken to Kun at all?"

"I have, though he remains a squire amongst this team of Knights," Hildegard said bitterly. "Do I detect hints of schemes in your words?"

"'Schemes' is a strong word," Rhiannon said. "I just don't want to vote you out, and wondered what you might be planning."

"It is my sworn duty to protect the Knights of Goodness from villainy!" Hildegard declared. "I would be remiss to call myself a paladin and then neglect such things! As you know, a thief lurks among us, and I wish to eliminate such a villain posthaste!"

"I see..." Rhiannon said unsurely.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Remember the part where I said that I'm pretty sure either Kirkland or Liberty is the thief? It looks like I've got a tough choice to make tonight. I just hope I make the right one. _(she bites her thumb nervously.)_

* * *

Night had fallen, and Hildegard, Kirkland, Kun, Liberty, and Rhiannon all met up with Chris at the campfire pit. Torches surrounding the area were lit, as was the campfire itself.

"Welcome back, Knights of Goodness!" Chris greeted. "I have to say if I had to pick one team to be the first to lose twice... I probably would have bet on you. Hehaha."

"Not the team who literally named themselves 'Team I Don't Know' on accident?" Liberty yawned.

"I know, right? Imagine being more pathetic than those guys," Chris chuckled. "So, Kirkland, last time, you managed to get out Tegan, who you'd sworn to eliminate early on. What's the plan for tonight?"

"I swore that Hildegard would be next, and that is exactly what is going to happen," Kirkland boasted.

"That's quite the claim," Chris noted. "Any comments, Hildegard?"

"I, meanwhile, have sworn to eliminate the thief that's been terrorizing our team!" Hildegard answered.

"Yeah, and she keeps swearing it's me," Liberty griped.

"Is it you?" Chris asked.

"Of course it isn't," Liberty grunted.

"Who do you think the thief is?" Chris asked.

"I dunno," Liberty admitted. "But I know it isn't me. Sleepwalking isn't my style."

"Kun, as the apparent team leader, does it concern you that allegations of thievery are going around?"

"Of course," Kun said. "We've suspected a thief for a while, but now it's starting to cause, um, friction between members of the team. Specifically, Hildegard and Liberty."

"Rhiannon, it seems clear where Hildegard, Kirkland, and Liberty are casting their votes," Chris continued. "How are you deciding your vote tonight?"

"I'm basing my vote on what will be best for the team," Rhiannon said.

"To add onto that, I would like to remind my fellow Knights of Goodness that this is a long game, with long-term consequences," Kirkland chimed in. "Even one off vote can be the difference between winning and losing. Keep that in mind."

"Worried about tonight's vote, Kirkland?" Chris asked.

"More than I would like to admit," Kirkland said. "In fact, why don't we get this over with?"

"Whatever you say," Chris said. "Why don't you start us off?"

Kirkland made his way to the confessional booth to cast his vote.

* * *

After all five contestants had voted, Chris returned with a platter of four marshmallows.

"You already know how it is," Chris said. "If you get a marshmallow, you're safe. If you don't, you're out."

"Kun!"

"Rhiannon!"

"Liberty!"

Kirkland's eyes went wide. "I thought you were voting for Liberty," he said to Hildegard.

"I have no memory of doing so," Hildegard said. "I said I would vote for our thief."

"The final marshmallow goes to..." Chris began.

"Hold on!" Kirkland interrupted. "You're accusing _me_?! After we've already voted? How cowardly. If you don't like me, just admit that's why you're voting for me."

"I would have thee know that this does not come from nowhere," Hildegard said.

"Yeah, you really need to work on your stealth," Liberty added.

"Excuse me?!" Kirkland snapped. "What on Earth is that supposed to mean?!"

* * *

On the night of the Tegan vote...

The Knights of Goodness were sound asleep, until Kirkland sat up, still wearing his newsie cap. He looked at his teammates to make sure they would not see him, stood up, and made his leave. Liberty, still wide awake but lying on her side, glanced at him when his back was turned.

Kirkland went to a part of the nearby forest where the soil had been recently disturbed and dug it back up. Liberty's sleeping cap was beneath the dirt, in a small hole.

"Better keep the suspicion off of me," Kirkland muttered to himself. He removed his cap, put it on top of Liberty's hat, and covered the hole containing the two items with dirt once again.

Kirkland returned to the cave, now without his hat, and returned to the spot where he'd been sleeping. Liberty sat up and took notice of Kirkland after he had lied back down to go back to sleep.

* * *

"I saw you leave the cave with your hat still on, and I saw you return without it," Liberty said. "And I know you didn't lose it, because you never said anything about that."

"Oh, I see how it is!" Kirkland sneered. "Hildegard suspects you of being the thief, so you pin it all on me. Classy. Real classy!"

"I suspected Liberty for all of a few minutes," Hildegard explained. "Until I talked it over with her, and she told me all!"

* * *

The wee hours of the morning...

Hildegard made her way out of the cave. She found Liberty sitting by the campfire.

"Liberty!" Hildegard whispered.

"Whuh...?" Liberty asked as she turned her head. "Oh, it's you."

"What art thou doing?" Hildegard inquired.

"Keeping warm, thinking to myself," Liberty droned. "What are you doing? Can't sleep?"

"Liberty, art thou aware that members of this fair team are missing personal items?" Hildegard asked.

"Yeah, I'm still missing my sleeping cap," Liberty said as she rubbed the top of her head.

"Truly, though?" Hildegard wondered. "Liberty, hast thou seen any suspicious characters around who may be pilfering from us? I ask only because these things appear to be occurring overnight. And, if thou hast not seen anyone, then thou art the only one amongst us who could be committing such acts!"

"Whoa, excuse you," Liberty winced. "Look, I'm not always just sitting here at camp the entire night. Sometimes I look around for fruit or firewood or something. Someone could strike then."

"But thou understandest that thou art the prime suspect, aye?" Hildegard asked.

"You're going to need more solid proof than that," Liberty said. "Accusing people without solid proof won't do you any good."

"I do what I do for the good of the team," Hildegard insisted. "Something you could learn a lot from."

"If you want to do good to the team, maybe stop shouting for two seconds..." Liberty yawned. "I know who the real thief is. I saw him the other night. Want to help me deal with him?"

* * *

"And you just believed her?" Kirkland scoffed at Hildegard. When he turned to look at Hildegard, he noticed that she wore her helmet once again. "What the-?" He turned to Liberty, who now wore her sleeping cap again.

"Right, I forgot to mention that I knew where you hid our stuff, too," Liberty grinned. "I followed you last night. We went and grabbed our stuff right before we left for the vote. Mostly for effect."

"I must admit, 'twas tough to keep up the act of ignorance," Hildegard admitted.

"Very tough," Rhiannon agreed.

"Rhiannon?! You were in on it, too?!" Kirkland snapped.

"We, um, all were," Kun chimed in. "Kirkland, I do not tolerate these kinds of things on my team."

"And, with that, I guess now's as good a time as any," Chris said. "The final marshmallow goes to... Hildegard."

"You bastards! Idiots, all of you!" Kirkland roared.

"Kirkland..." Rhiannon sighed. "Why bother stealing from us in the first place? What did you have to gain?"

"You wouldn't understand," Kirkland grunted. "The thrill, the rush you get when you steal something and get away with it." He made his way towards the Dock of Shame. "Fuck you all. I look forward to seeing the rest of you crash and burn."

Kirkland turned his back on his former teammates and boarded the Boat of Losers, which left as soon as he did.

"Well, it just goes to show that even a unanimous vote can be a blindside," Chris told the remaining four contestants. "But will that be enough to help you bounce back? Head back to camp. We're done for tonight."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** _(She yawns.)_ I guess sleepy little Liberty isn't so unable to screw people over after all. Thank god that guy's gone. He was a dick.

* * *

Chris stood on the Dock of Shame after the Knights of Goodness had left.

"The Knights of Goodness took out their thief and a power player all in one fell swoop," Chris said. "But what will this mean as far as alliances on the Knights of Goodness go? Who's in the most danger on the Luscious Lollipops? How much longer will Team I Don't Know go without voting? Will the Best Team keep being the best in challenges? The answers to these questions and more, may or may not be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Kirkland:** Hildegard, you brought this onto yourself, for being nearly as annoying as your annoying little friend that I've already taken care of. Goodnight and goodbye.

 **Hildegard:** It is at last time to purge this unholy coward, bully, cad, and thief from my team! Let this paladin's righteousness smite Kirkland where he stands!

 **Rhiannon:** Honestly, I've been looking for a window of opportunity to separate myself from Kirkland. I think this works out.

 **Liberty:** Yeah, I've about had it up to here with Kirkland's general insufferableness. Also, he's stealing from us, so there's that, too.

 **Kun:** I spared Kirkland before because I thought that he no longer had any say in this team, but he's, um, doing an awful job acting like he doesn't think he's running things. All this plus his past crimes give me, um, more than enough reason to vote for him tonight.

* * *

 _A/N:_ _Kirkland was definitely a character I knew I was going to enjoy writing, thief or not. I've made it no secret in the past that I enjoy writing dickish characters a lot, and Kirkland is one of the most unabashed douchebags in the cast, if not the most, so it was fun writing his interactions with his overall trainwreck of a team. He very clearly thought he was the smartest guy in the metaphorical room, which led to him underestimating the others on his team a lot, and that played a big part in his downfall._

 _As far as the thief plot goes, it was never going to be a big long-term thing that spanned the entire season or anything, because, even if he hadn't gotten caught, I think Kirkland is the kind of person who wouldn't have a tough time getting himself voted out. His hubris was always going to doom him in some form or another. I did initially have him making it to the first shuffle, but I didn't want the thief plot to overstay its welcome and take up too much screen time, or for Kirkland himself to overstay his welcome and take up too much screen time, for that matter. And thus, he goes here._


	7. That Was Almost A Polite Conversation

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the Dock of Shame. "In our last episode, our contestants grew increasingly wary of the constantly-shifting dynamics on their respective teams. Steve Jenkins had some choice words for Nestor following Rowan's elimination from The Best Team, and both boys swore to throw each other under the bus. Everyone on Team I Don't Know seems to be fighting for their voice to be heard, with Fred and Roxie in particular feeling not-listened-to. Gretchen's starting to find herself in the middle of the Luscious Lollipops dynamic, although none of the other Lollipops seems too happy about that fact. Hildegard officially began her crusade against the thief targeting the Knights of Goodness, calling out Liberty in particular as her prime suspect.

"Our challenge this time was a talent show with a twist: contestants would be 'randomly' selected to enact their teammates' talents. Needless to say, a lot of people embarrassed themselves that day. Hehaha. The Best Team took a big lead thanks to Shadya's apparent skills in yodeling, while the Knights of Goodness managed to screw up all three acts, putting them back in the hot seat.

"Kirkland still had his mind set on Hildegard, while Hildegard was determined to take out the thief. Imagine Kirkland's surprise when it turned out that Liberty had caught him in the act and had disclosed his identity as the thief to Hildegard that very morning, and that the two colluded to keep up his false sense of security. It turns out that crime doesn't pay, because Kirkland was voted out unanimously. Then again, his personality probably didn't help. Hehaha.

"How will things shake out this time? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The Knights of Goodness had returned to their camp after the marshmallow ceremony and sat around the campfire, roasting the marshmallows they had received.

"I had good faith in my team," Hildegard smiled. "I commend thee all for a vote most satisfying."

"I can't believe I just did that," Rhiannon said.

"Why didn't you two, um, tell me about this before it was time to vote?" Kun asked.

"Yeah, you said you'd known about Kirkland stealing from us for a while, right?" Rhiannon added.

"Didn't feel like causing a ruckus for no reason," Liberty shrugged. "Besides, four people keeping up an act is just asking for trouble."

"What's important is the distinct lack of thievery amongst us," Hildegard said proudly. "Naught but success shall adorn the path toward our future!"

"I would, um, like to demand that you be more upfront with us in the future," Kun told Liberty in a tone that wasn't as firm as he wanted it to be. "Not disclosing important information makes it, um, hard to trust you. Especially as your leader."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind," Liberty said nonchalantly.

"I, for one, am ready for a well-earned sleep," Hildegard said as she stood up and retreated to the team's cave.

"We should be well-rested for tomorrow's challenge," Kun agreed as he stood up and joined her.

"I'm going to go get something to eat," Liberty decided as she stood up and went out to the forest.

Rhiannon, sitting all alone, sighed before eating her marshmallow.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Kirkland was all talk. He threatened twice to have me eliminated, and now look where he is. I can only hope that little Tegan is keeping him good company, wherever those two may be. _(She laughs.)_

 **Kun:** Needless to say, I'm, um, more than concerned about Liberty's apparent capability to steer a vote in the direction she prefers such as she did. She and I have never, um, been close in any way, so if she decides that she wants me gone next, well, that could be problematic. But what can I do about it? Hmm...

 **Liberty:** _(She yawns.)_ Hopefully, this all makes up for me not performing in challenges or something.

* * *

The Luscious Lollipops had gone to a beach near their campsite. All of them had changed into their swimsuits, sans Gretchen, who sat nearby watching the others.

"I can't believe we've never taken time to enjoy the beach," Louise commented before splashing Virgil.

"I'll get you for that!" Virgil grinned as he splashed her back.

"Did any of us know about this place before Dean found it?" Wisdom asked as she buried Dean in the sand.

"Well, I didn't really 'find it' so much as 'stumble upon it by accident because I got lost', but you know..." Dean admitted.

"Are you sure you don't want to swim, Gretchen?" Louise offered.

"I don't swim," Gretchen said simply.

Louise nodded understandingly before Virgil splashed her in the face.

"I've got to admit, it's pretty nice taking time not worrying about maintaining camp or the game or anything," Virgil said.

"What good is a game if we can't have fun?" Wisdom mused. "Taking time to bond at the beach could help us all, couldn't it?"

Gretchen stood up and retreated back to the forest.

"Gretchen? Where are you going?" Wisdom asked.

"I've got to use the bathroom," Gretchen said. "Please, enjoy yourselves."

Wisdom gave Gretchen a curious look.

"Eh, forget her," Virgil commented. "If any of us were in her shoes, she'd just say something to make fun of us and tell everyone else to ignore us."

"Yes, but why would she tell us to enjoy ourselves?" Wisdom wondered. "Is something up with her?"

"Who cares?" Virgil suggested.

"Virgil. Be nice," Louise scolded.

"Has she ever been nice to us?" Virgil responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I've never felt comfortable in swimsuits. Not when I was younger, and not now. So, yeah, I'm not really a fan of the beach.

 **Virgil:** I can't recall Sour Grapes ever saying a single nice thing about anyone. Hence the nickname. Why should I care if she feels left out? She's the one who didn't want to change into a swimsuit.

 **Dean:** The morning at the beach was pretty nice. It only took twenty minutes for them to remember that they left me buried in the sand, too. That's got to be a new lifetime record!

* * *

The six members of Team I Don't Know sat around their campfire eating breakfast.

"Say, Roxie, did you ever find your pocket knife?" Mark inquired.

"Still haven't found it. Haven't been looking that hard. I'll find it sometime," Roxie answered.

"I'm sure you'll find it," Bunko smiled.

"Does that knife hold sentimental value?" Hiram wondered.

"What? No," Roxie answered. "I just don't want to leave my knife on this wilderness of an island."

"I'll help you look for it after breakfast," Mark offered. "It's helpful for the survival aspect of the game."

Roxie gave Mark a look, then looked away.

"So, Fred, how's your leg holding up?" Elmer inquired.

"My leg was always fine," Fred insisted as he stood up. "Watch, I'll go run to the shelter and back!"

Fred sprinted off towards the shelter, only to trip and fall on his face.

"Fred!" Bunko cried as she ran up to help the blind boy.

Hiram glared at Fred briefly before returning focus to his food.

"I've got to say, the extra bag of rice is making survival a bit easier," Elmer commented. "Any extra amount of food helps. You've got to stay nourished in times like these."

"The reward system is certainly nice," Mark agreed.

"They don't always have rewards for doing well in challenges, either," Roxie added. "I'd say we've been pretty lucky."

"Hopefully that luck continues," Mark smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hiram:** I'm torn. On one hand, a winning streak means there's no chance that you or any of your friends get voted out. On the other, there are some people on this team I _want_ to just vote out already.

 **Fred:** I've had my share of scrapes and bruises over the years. Tripping and falling ain't nothing. Hell, I'm probably the most resilient person on my team. Bring on whatever torture you've got in mind, Chris! I can take it!

 **Mark:** The more I hear about the harder aspects of this game, the more fortunate I feel. I mean, I guess there's still a lot of time for things to go horribly wrong, but hey, I'll savor the easy parts while I still can.

* * *

Ginger, Nestor, and Steve Jenkins each sat in their team's shelter, while Jeremy and Shadya each held a hot bowl of breakfast.

"Let the Battle of the Breakfasts officially commence!" Nestor announced.

"Both of you claim to be pretty good at making a good meal out of very little," Ginger recapped. "So now it's time to prove once and for all who's the best."

"My experience in mountaineering serves me well," Jeremy grinned.

"And I am human perfection," Shadya stated.

"Obviously, I'd destroy both of you, but I wanted to keep things fair," Steve Jenkins chuckled.

"Ladies first," Jeremy offered Shadya.

"Are you sure? I'll be a very tough act to follow," Shadya said emotionlessly.

"Bring us your bowl, Jeremy," Nestor coaxed.

Jeremy handed Nestor his bowl.

"Beans and rice with grilled sea bass," Jeremy described. "Enjoy."

Ginger, Nestor, and Steve Jenkins each took a spoonful of food and ate it.

"Mm, I've got to say, this comes awfully close to snatching my weave," Nestor complimented.

"I'm not even really a big fan of fish, but this isn't half-bad," Steve Jenkins added.

"It's okay," Ginger shrugged.

"I look forward to seeing what you've prepared," Jeremy told Shadya.

Shadya placed her bowl on Nestor's lap. The blogger set aside Jeremy's bowl.

"What I have prepared can best be described as an ahi chirashi bowl," Shadya explained.

"Sounds pretentious," Ginger commented.

"Tuna and rice, along with a few herbs I managed to find when scavenging," Shadya clarified.

Each of the judges ate a spoonful of the food.

"And there goes my weave, ladies!" Nestor announced.

"This is almost Steve Jenkins level quality right here," Steve Jenkins agreed.

"It's okay," Ginger shrugged.

"Congratulations, Shadya," Jeremy complimented as he extended his hand to shake.

Shadya stoically accepted the handshake.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Not only did Jeremy put his pride as a hiker on the line by challenging me to a cook-off, but he also accepted the loss with an almost proud smile. I cannot imagine why he would do this, knowing full well he would lose, and to take this loss so well. It's... confusing, to say the least.

 **Jeremy:** I tasted some of Shadya's tuna bowl, and it's the best thing she's made since we've been out here. This is exactly what I mean when I say that everyone has talents within that are waiting to be made known! A contest drove her to do even better than she normally would, and she was already pretty good. _(He smiles proudly.)_

 **Ginger:** I'm not really a foodie. So sue me.

* * *

Liberty slept tranquilly in the cave. That is until Hildegard came in.

"The morn doth greet thee, Liberty!" Hildegard announced.

"No, it doth not," Liberty growled as she pulled her sleeping cap over her ears.

"Come, how canst thou be an effective member of my round table if thou doth not rise at a reasonable hour?" Hildegard scolded.

"Your what now?" Liberty yawned.

"I deliberated thoroughly last night," Hildegard explained. "And have come to the conclusion that we need not hold enmity towards one another. Not after our good work to take down that vile Kirkland. What say we work together, as holy knights?"

"Yeah, uh, waking me up isn't the best way to get me to agree to whatever it is you have to say," Liberty dismissed.

"Thou hast no say in the matter," Hildegard said simply. "Making it through two eliminations is a tremendous blessing. Either thou begin to pull thine own weight, or thy game shall end swiftly by my lance!"

"I really wish Chris didn't fix that thing and give it back to you," Liberty sighed.

"If thou wish to avoid it, I prithee to hunt lunch for the team!" Hildegard ordered.

"Can I borrow your holy lance?" Liberty droned.

"Such privileges must be earned," Hildegard denied. "It now rests upon thee to earn them, ho!"

"What did you just call me?" Liberty winced.

"That is not what I meant and I think you knew that," Hildegard huffed.

Liberty simply snickered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I shall kill two birds with one stone, as it were! Not only to do as I once promised and awaken this slumbering child and let her true potential shine but also to ensure mine own safety. Liberty, and later Rhiannon, shall join my round table soon!

 **Liberty:** I immediately regret not voting out Hildegard last night.

* * *

Louise led Gretchen and Wisdom to a flowery meadow.

"You brought us to a meadow?" Wisdom asked.

"Yeah," Louise smiled. "I just wanted to hang out and have a girls' day out. We can gossip about who's cute and make flower crowns and it'll be hella fun."

"Louise, if this is about the beach..." Gretchen began.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Louise insisted. "Besides, our team's been getting a little stir crazy. I think we should make a concentrated effort to spend some real quality time together."

"What about Dean and Virgil?" Wisdom asked.

"They can talk about whatever it is boys talk about," Louise giggled. She began picking some of the flowers. "So, ladies, got any boys on your mind? Girls? Give me the goss."

"The goss?" Wisdom glanced at Gretchen unsurely.

"I will not be patronized like this," Gretchen told Louise firmly before walking away.

Louise simply responded with a sad nod.

"She's impossible, isn't she?" Wisdom told Louise once Gretchen was out of earshot.

"I just wanted to be inclusive," Louise sighed.

"And that's what matters, right?" Wisdom said. "Whose fault is it but Gretchen's that she's reacting this way?"

"I still feel bad" Louise admitted. "I don't know."

Wisdom nodded. "Would you still want to hang out if it was just me?"

"Sure!" Louise agreed enthusiastically.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I've never really been to just a girls-only thing. And it's not that I don't want to, but I can't shake the feeling that Louise was trying to earn some good girl points by going out of her way to include the trans girl, even though she's made it clear before that she doesn't even like me that much. _(She scoffs.)_

 **Louise:** It's true that Gretchen and I haven't really seen eye-to-eye ever since she voted Jim out, but we were friendly at the start of the game, right? I don't know. I just don't want any more conflict on this team, you know?

 **Wisdom:** _(She is wearing a flower crown.)_ Does this look work for me? Should I keep wearing flower crowns? Or would it be too tough to maintain? Flower crowns wilt pretty quickly, right? Is it worth constantly making more? Or is that what makes them so special?

* * *

Bunko and Fred were alone at Team I Don't Know's camp.

"Hey, Bunko, we're all alone, right?" Fred asked.

Bunko looked around the area. "I think so," she answered. "Why, what's up?"

"Well, don't tell anyone I told you this, but it seems like Elmer has you in his sights," Fred told her.

"Elmer wants to shoot me?!" Bunko gasped.

"What? Naw, naw, he just wants to vote you out," Fred clarified. "Something about you being a 'social threat' or some shiz. But like hell am I going to vote you out. You're hella tight!"

"Awwwwwww," Bunko cooed. "...I think that's 'awwww'."

"It is," Fred clarified.

"We should let Mark know about this to be sure," Bunko said. "If anyone can come up with a strategy for what we should do, it's him!"

"How is it that the guy who can't remember his own name is better at strategy than both of us?" Mark laughed.

"Fred! What are you doing to Bunko?" Hiram accused as he marched up to the two.

"Fred was just helping me out," Bunko explained.

"Yeah, so back off, buckaroo," Fred said as he pointed slightly to the right of Hiram.

"What was Fred telling you, Bunko?" Hiram asked with deep concern.

"Fred was just telling me that... um... he wants to start working with us. Like, with strategy," Bunko explained carefully. She looked at Fred desperately, only to realize that he couldn't see her facial cues.

"We can talk about this later, Bunko," Fred decided as he stood up. "When this kid doesn't want to interrupt and act like I'm trying to ruin your life or whatevs."

Fred jogged off, jumping over a rock that he'd no doubt tripped over several times before, albeit misestimating its height and tripping over it anyway.

"Hiram, why do you have to be like that to Fred?" Bunko pouted. "He was really trying to help. Honest!"

"I'm just trying to keep you safe," Hiram told her. "He could be lying straight to your face, you know. I've seen him talking to Elmer and Roxie, and I don't trust them as far as I can throw them, either. I just know those three are trying to mess with our alliance. Be careful."

Bunko looked pensive.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fred:** Yeah, forget Elmer and Roxie, I want to work with Bunko and Mark! I guess that means Hiram by extension, too, but I'd rather deal with one of him than two of those other guys. Elmer's a know-it-all and Roxie thinks she's too cool for school. Well, I've got news for them! He doesn't, and she's not!

 **Bunko:** I don't know. I want to trust Fred because he's super cool, and it seems like he really wants to help, but Hiram isn't really wrong. About how Fred could just be tricking me, I mean. This is tough.

 **Hiram:** I've never trusted Fred for a second. Even going beyond how his blindness holds the team back, he's always seemed way too comfortable in this game. I just know he's trying to be some sort of double agent for Elmer and Roxie. He is the least suspicious of the three. Or, at least, that's what they want us to think!

* * *

Ginger and Shadya had gone to the beach to fish for food.

"It's nice to have some peace and quiet away from the others," Shadya said with a slight smile.

"Amen to that," Ginger agreed. "Actually, I'd been meaning to discuss artificial intelligence with you. Clearly, you know a thing or two if you were able to write that program that never lost a game of tic-tac-toe. I was curious as to the extent of your knowledge in the field."

"I'm clearly knowledgeable enough," Shadya said.

"You're right, screw small talk," Ginger snarked.

"I apologize," Shadya apologized. "I can hardly call myself human perfection if I let my emotions get the better of me."

"Your... what?" Ginger asked, confused.

"I've been thinking a lot about what Jeremy said about Rowan," Shadya admitted. "How he felt a genuine friendship between them. She was obviously just manipulating him. Right?"

"So the wise and infallible Shadya is unsure, is she?" Ginger grinned. "Honestly, I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but the possibility that they were actual friends does exist. Are you sure you're not jealous?"

"Absolutely sure," Shadya said. "I understand that denying any affection towards him will only make you and the others more inclined to 'ship' us, as it were, but I speak only the truth."

"Frankly, I don't understand intimate attraction and probably never will. I just like teasing people," Ginger snickered.

"So I've noticed," Shadya droned.

"Wassup ladies," Steve Jenkins greeted as he forced himself into the conversation.

"Oh, not much, we were just discussing how attractive all the boys in this game are," Ginger grinned.

"Well, when Steve Jenkins is on the scene, the average hotness increases by, like, a kajillionfold," Steve Jenkins blustered.

"I mean, have you seen that guy Kirkland from the Knights of Goodness? Total hottie," Ginger continued.

"...Wait, what?" Steve Jenkins blinked.

"Oh, and Nestor, too. Absolute smokestack," Ginger snickered.

"Now you just wait a minute there, missy," Steve Jenkins leered.

"But the absolute hottest of them all... do I even need to say it?" Ginger faux-swooned.

"Please do," Steve Jenkins winked.

" _Dean_ ~" Ginger moaned.

"Okay, that's taking it too far!" Steve Jenkins snapped as he stormed off.

"What did I just witness?" Shadya asked Ginger.

"A genius at work," Ginger said proudly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I will never get tired of teasing idiots. Even when they don't pick up on it at all, that just reaffirms how stupid they are, which is almost as hilarious.

 **Shadya:** Jeremy is a friendly person, that much can't be denied. But Rowan was clearly trying to cause trouble on the team. There's no way she genuinely wanted to be his friend. Or is there? Why is this bothering me so much?

 **Steve Jenkins:** Tch. What does Ginger know? I'm totally hotter than those lamers. Are any of _them_ Steve Jenkins? I didn't think so!

* * *

Kun and Rhiannon searched the forest for food together.

"You've been, um, awfully quiet today," Kun noted. "Is there something on your, um, mind?"

"Nothing much. Thanks for your concern, though," Rhiannon said with a small smile.

"You're worried about Liberty and Hildegard working together behind our backs, right? Kun surmised.

"I won't lie, finding out that they'd been playing us all for a while doesn't sit well with me," Rhiannon admitted.

"Are you and Liberty still, um, aligned?" Kun inquired.

"I think so?" Rhiannon answered. "We haven't really had a one-on-one since the vote happened."

"Well, I think you and I should both, um, speak with her," Kun decided. "I'd like to see Hildegard gone sooner than later. She's, um, a very strong competitor, and that worries me."

"You're intimidated by powerful women, are you?" Rhiannon purred.

"Th-Th-That's not...!" Kun cleared his throat. "Please do not tease me. Look, Hildegard and I have never particularly seen eye-to-eye. In hindsight, I probably should have voted for her last night, but then, I never particularly trusted Kirkland, either. I would like to vote her out at our earliest convenience, and, um, I would like to work together with you in order to make that happen. What do you say?"

"Frankly, I can't remember Hildegard ever reaching out to me in earnest as you have," Rhiannon said. "I'm in!"

"That's wonderful to hear," Kun smiled. "Hildegard may have, um, named this team, but that does not mean it's her team. She should, um, remember that."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Despite being the, um, team leader, I've felt strangely powerless in our previous two votes, like everyone but me decides who should go home, and I just happen to vote correctly. I want to, um, change that, so I'm making a real effort to, um, make sure Hildegard goes if we were to ever, um, lose again. At this rate, it wouldn't surprise me...

 **Rhiannon:** I'm optimistic about working with Kun. He's not very assertive, but he might be the least dishonest person I've met in a while, and that means a lot in this game. I just hope Liberty is up to working with him.

* * *

Dean arrived at his team's camp with the team's hunting kit.

"That's where that thing went!" Virgil realized.

"Are you referring to me, or this?" Dean asked as he held the kit up.

"The kit, dingus," Virgil answered. "I was going to hunt for some food."

"Yeah, me too, but I couldn't find anything," Dean admitted. "Sorry."

"Did you at least see where any of the girls went while you were out?" Virgil inquired.

"No, sorry," Dean apologized.

Virgil grumbled to himself as he took a lollipop from his bag and stuck it in his mouth.

"You said your mom owns a candy shop, right?" Dean mentioned.

"You can't have any," Virgil told him.

"I wasn't asking for candy. I was just, I don't know, trying to strike a conversation?" Dean stammered.

"Yeah, she owns a candy shop in downtown Toronto," Virgil explained. "We've got a massive selection. It's great."

"'We'? Do you work there?" Dean asked as he sat by the campfire and set the hunting kit down.

"What? Naw, but I do get free samples of taffy and lollipops and all that," Virgil grinned. "What better way to test the merchandise, right?"

"Sounds pretty great," Dean said.

"It is pretty great," Virgil nodded.

Silence.

"Anyway, I was going to go hunt some food," Virgil said as he grabbed the hunting kit and set off for the forest. "Don't burn down the shelter or anything."

"I... wasn't planning to... Okay," Dean complied glumly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Well, that was almost a polite conversation. That's something, right?

 **Virgil:** Starting out on such a small team is starting to make me claustrophobic. Jimmy Beans is gone, so that leaves me with Licorice, Strawberry, Sour Grapes, and Dean. Licorice is okay, but those other three? Not exactly my first choice of company.

* * *

Elmer, Mark, and Roxie had gone off to a farther part of the beach to search for Roxie's knife.

"You come here to smoke pretty often, you said?" Mark asked Roxie.

"No one bothers me. A safe haven to myself. Perfect for a smoke," Roxie mused.

"You don't have pockets, so we can rule out the possibility of it slipping out on accident," Elmer surmised. "Are you sure you don't remember dropping it?"

"If I dropped it, I would have just picked it up," Roxie said flatly.

"And you don't remember lending it to anyone?" Mark wondered as he sifted through the sand.

"The only person I've lent it to was you a few days ago, and you gave it back," Roxie told him.

"I'm going to scour the path we just took," Elmer told the other two. "Just in case."

"You do that," Roxie said dismissively as the boy left the scene.

"So..." Mark began with a coy smile. "I'm the only one you trust with your knife, huh?"

"Don't twist it to sound like something it's not," Roxie grunted. "You're the only one who's ever even asked to borrow it."

"So you'll let anyone borrow it if they ask?" Mark asked.

"Are you going to help me, or are you going to keep testing my patience?" Roxie asked as she lit a cigarette.

"I'm helping, I'm helping, sorry," Mark chuckled as he moved a nearby piece of driftwood over. "Do you think it might have been stolen? I remember one of the girls from the Knights of Goodness saying something about her helmet getting stolen."

"That is possible. But why would someone steal it? And _who_ would do so?" Roxie wondered.

"It may be someone from our team, or from the Knights, or from one of the other teams," Mark said. "Or it could just be lost."

"Are you trying to confuse me?" Roxie leered.

"No, I'm just trying to look at the possibilities," Mark told her. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Roxie told him.

"Whatever you say," Mark chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I had my doubts that we needed three people to check that one spot, so I figured that breaking off and spreading out would be more beneficial. Still nothing on my end, though.

 **Roxie:** I think Mark is trying harder than I am to find my knife. God damn it, he'd better not _like_ me. I've got no energy for someone trying to get emotional with me.

 **Mark:** No luck so far. I'm starting to wonder if someone really did steal it. Would it be ethical to search through everyone's bags to see if it's in one of them?

* * *

Jeremy and Nestor ate lunch at their team's camp.

"So, Nestor, you're a Total Drama expert, right?" Jeremy asked.

"I don't want to brag... but I actually do. Yes, I know _everything_. Please, do go on," Nestor said cheekily.

"Who do you think the Knights voted out last night?" Jeremy wondered.

"If I had to guess, maybe Hildegard," Nestor figured. "Call it a gut feeling."

"I sure hope not. If anyone exemplifies the ideals of self-belief and passion, it's her!" Jeremy proclaimed.

"Somehow I don't think the Knights really appreciate those ideals as much as you do," Nestor giggled.

"Yeah, good point," Jeremy conceded. "Frankly, I'm not surprised they've already lost twice if that's the case."

"Well, that, and they've got Liberty always falling asleep," Nestor smirked.

"But I don't want to think so negatively of others!" Jeremy continued. "I believe everyone has the potential to do amazing things! ...They just... don't seem to want to look into that potential."

"Say, I've got an idea or two for you," Nestor started. "I'm willing to work with you and the girls going forward if you guys are willing to work with me."

"...You're the one who voted Rowan out the other night, aren't you?" Jeremy frowned.

"After she threw my name out there, it was the safest thing for me to do, boo," Nestor sighed. "I didn't like doing it either, but that's the way Total Drama works."

"You'd have to take it up with Shadya, not me," Jeremy said.

"I'll ring her up sometime," Nestor told him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Well shoot damn, I thought that if anyone would be my in for the majority alliance, it'd be Jeremy, but he figured out my Rowan vote pretty quickly, huh? Or maybe one of the girls told him. Either way, I'm not just going to lie down and stay on the outs. If sucking up to Shadya is what it takes to get by, then I'm gonna start sucking up.

 **Jeremy:** I just... have trouble trusting someone who was so quick to vote out his own trusted friend and ally like that. If he truly believed in Rowan, he would have stuck by her and voted for Shadya as he'd promised her! N-Not that that's preferable, in my case, but it says a lot about the guy, you know?

* * *

The twenty contestants met up with Chris by the big tree.

"Nice to see you're all here," Chris began. "Winning teams, as you can see, Kirkland was voted out in last night's marshmallow ceremony."

"I was _way_ off," Nestor commented.

"Didn't expect to see him go so soon?" Chris prodded.

"He wouldn't have been my first guess," Elmer chimed in. "No offense to Liberty, but falling asleep in the middle of the challenge might not have flown if she were on Team I Don't Know."

"Then I guess I ended up on the right team," Liberty sneered to Elmer.

"What's the challenge, Chris?" Louise piped up.

"Glad you asked," Chris grinned. "You guys remember those bears from the other day?"

"I actively try not to," Shadya answered.

A couple of interns ushered in the color-coordinated bears.

"Hey. Long time no see," Virgil smirked to the pink bear.

The pink bear winked back with a grin.

"These bears are very well-trained," Chris stated. "One day, they can act as mean as possible, and the next, they'll be cooperating with you for today's challenge!"

"How does that work?" Bunko asked curiously.

"Today's challenge is a relay race!" Chris announced. "You guys will be riding on the backs of these bears, guiding them through the marked path and up to the several checkpoints scattered around the island. Each checkpoint will house one of your teammates, and once a bear reaches a checkpoint, the person riding the bear will have to hop off and let the other person on to continue the race. Keep this trend going until the last member of your team crosses the finish line. Any questions?"

"What if someone, um, misses a checkpoint by accident and ends up at a different checkpoint?" Kun asked.

"An intern present will let them know and force them to backtrack until they find the right one," Chris explained.

Silence.

"Alright, time to pick who all is sitting out," Chris said. "The Best Team and Luscious Lollipops, choose one person to sit out. Team I Don't Know, pick two. Remember that you can't sit the same person out in back-to-back challenges."

"Steve Jenkins, you're the only one who hasn't sat out of a challenge yet," Shadya pointed out.

"Uh, yeah, you guys would be nothing without me," Steve Jenkins said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'll sit this one out," Nestor decided. "I've never been any good at races of _any_ kind."

"Dean, you're sitting out," Gretchen told her ally.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best," Dean agreed.

"Can I not be anywhere near a bear again?" Hiram whimpered.

"I was actually just going to suggest that you and Fred sit this one out," Elmer agreed.

"Bro, I could totally figure my way through this mess!" Fred insisted.

"Maybe, but the rest of us will have an easier time," Mark told him. "I don't doubt that you could do it, but-"

"I want Bunko to sit out with me," Hiram said.

"I don't think there's any convincing Fred," Bunko told her teammates. "I'll sit out."

"Yeet!" Fred cheered.

"Alright, with all that decided, we'll decide the order of runners per team randomly," Chris said. "Let's get this challenge underway!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Ha! I shall show this foul fiend what good Lady Hildegard is truly made of! Try to destroy my holy lance, and I shall take control of thee tenfold!

 **Wisdom:** Was the previously feral nature of the bears simply an act? Or were they trained so extensively in the span of a mere few days? Should I be worried?

 **Roxie:** It seems that I am... surrounded by idiots. My team's ridiculous

 **Jeremy:** The key to staying on a bear's good side is to make it known that you are no threat to it whatsoever. That knowledge has saved my life before!

* * *

Hildegard, Wisdom, Roxie, and Jeremy all mounted their team's respective bear. Each bear was reluctantly crouched at the starting line. Several flags had been placed in a path following the line.

"Are you ladies ready?" Chris asked as he held an airhorn aloft.

"Chris, I'm not a-" Jeremy began.

"GO!" Chris shouted as he blasted the airhorn.

The loud noise spooked all four bears, causing them all to start running.

"Whoa!" Roxie shouted as she tightened her grip on the green bear's fur.

"I don't believe we've met before! My name is Jeremy!" Jeremy told his bear. "If you can help me and my friends by following the flags, I'll reward you with a treat!"

The gold bear ignored the hiker's offer and ran wherever it pleased.

"...I'm no threat, I swear!" Jeremy cried.

"Um, Mr. Bear, would you mind following the flags for me?" Wisdom requested. "Do you know what flags are? Is it condescending to ask that? Maybe you know what red is? Can you follow the red things? ...Are bears colorblind? Or is that just dogs?"

"Heed my words, beast!" Hildegard barked to the blue bear. "Comply with my orders and thou may yet be spared! Go where my Knights and I guide you to!"

Hildegard kicked the bear's sides as if it were a horse. She pulled the fur she'd held onto in the direction of the flags, steering the bear in the right direction.

"That's not how you're supposed to do it!" Jeremy called.

"Speak to my dust, knave!" Hildegard mocked.

Roxie and Wisdom managed to get their bears onto the right path, and followed Hildegard in passing Jeremy.

"Aw, come on!" Jeremy objected.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** To be assertive is to command respect, and to receive it! This cerulean cretin is lucky I don't slay it with my holy lance right now! And it knows this.

 **Jeremy:** ...In my defense, I've never tried to _ride_ a bear before! Horses, sure, but that's an entirely different beast! Er, no pun intended.

* * *

Elmer, Ginger, and Gretchen all stood by a tall totem pole bearing Chris's visage. Liberty slept on the ground by said pole.

"So you've just built a robot with learning AI all on your own," Elmer parroted to Ginger in disbelief.

"That's right," Ginger bragged.

Hildegard arrived on the scene, riding the blue bear.

"Cease, beast!" Hildegard ordered it. The bear skidded to a halt. "Liberty! Awaken at once!"

Liberty snored lightly.

Hildegard hopped off the bear and lifted Liberty up by the collar of her nightgown. "Liberty!" she shouted in her teammate's face.

Roxie and Wisdom arrived on their bears.

"Finally," Gretchen said as Wisdom got off the pink bear.

"I won't let you down," Elmer told Roxie as he got on the green bear. "Let's go!" he ordered his bear, which ran ahead at his request.

"Follow him!" Gretchen ordered her bear, who did as she said.

"Where the hell is Jeremy?" Ginger complained.

"Ginger, was it? Assist me in the awakening of my teammate!" Hildegard ordered.

"Uh, yeah, not going to happen," Ginger responded.

"T'would be the courteous thing to do," Hildegard said.

"It would be the 'letting you win' thing to do," Ginger scoffed.

"Roxie? Wisdom?" Hildegard coaxed.

"I'm with her," Roxie said.

"Why would any of us help you if it means our teams are less likely to be safe?" Wisdom responded.

Hildegard stewed in anger.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** Yeah, I've, uh, barely slept these past couple of days. You know, relatively speaking. _(She yawns.)_

 **Ginger:** So much for "I'm a mountain climber and I know how to deal with bears". Tch.

* * *

Elmer and Gretchen sped through the path of flags on their bears.

"You're going down, Gretchen!" Elmer called.

"If I go down, so does your precious girlfriend!" Gretchen reminded him.

"...I'll settle for the Lollipops getting second!" Elmer compromised.

"Gangway!" Ginger called as she, riding the gold bear, sped past the two.

"What the hell?! Only the protagonist is supposed to suddenly surpass the competition when she needs it most!" Gretchen objected.

"Maybe Ginger was the protagonist all along," Elmer quipped.

Gretchen shot Elmer a look.

Meanwhile, back at the totem pole, Hildegard had tossed a still-sleeping Liberty on top of the blue bear.

"Follow the flags! Make sure she makes it to the next totem pole!" Hildegard barked at the ursine, who ran away from her as quickly as it could.

"What is it about Liberty that made her worth keeping for two eliminations?" Wisdom asked Hildegard.

"I prithee to mind thine own damn business," Hildegard said flatly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I forgot about how annoying Elmer is. I almost want to lose now so we can vote out Louise. We'll see who's so smug then!

 **Elmer:** Don't think I've forgotten about the little stunt Gretchen pulled to get Louise and me on separate teams. Granted, I was going to propose that she and I end up on different teams, but it's the principle of the thing, you know?

* * *

The second checkpoint, another Chris-themed totem pole, had Fred, Rhiannon, Steve Jenkins, and Virgil standing around it.

"I know it shouldn't be all that weird that you've never watched porn," Rhiannon said to Fred. "But you might be the only person I've met over age twelve who's never seen it."

"Going blind when you're a kid will do that to you," Fred said casually.

"But you're still human, right? You still have... needs," Rhiannon purred. "What do you do then?"

"Ah, yes, I remember the first time I met a blind person and immediately asked what he jacked off to," Virgil commented.

"It's not like I've never screwed before," Fred answered. "Otherwise, I just imagine... I guess you'd call them 'sexy concepts'. Specific scenarios leading to sex that I think would be hot."

"I _told_ them that plot is important to porn," Rhiannon muttered proudly.

Ginger arrived atop her golden steed.

"Oh thank Steve Jenkins you're here!" Steve Jenkins said with a sigh of relief.

"I've long past given up on questioning anything when you say things like that," Ginger remarked as she hopped off the bear.

"I sure hope you like sex talk," Virgil told Ginger.

"We aren't hurting anyone," Rhiannon frowned.

"Get me the hell out of here!" Steve Jenkins commanded the bear, which ran ahead.

Gretchen and Elmer arrived on their bears.

"I'm here, Fred!" Elmer called.

"About time," Virgil said to Gretchen.

"You'll have to excuse me - I'm a bit rusty on my bear riding skills," Gretchen snarked.

"You're forgiven," Virgil smirked as he hopped on top of the pink bear. "You ready to kick some ass?" he asked the bear, who nodded in response.

The pink bear sped off.

"You've got this, right?" Elmer asked the green bear unsurely.

"Totally, fam," Fred grinned.

The green bear did a so-so motion with its paw before running off ahead.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Don't think I've forgotten about how this bear screwed us over last time. I'm going to make sure he knows who's boss. Not that there should be any question when this guy's on the scene.

 **Rhiannon:** Liberty sure is taking a while. I guess that doesn't sound so weird when I say it out loud, but it's making me nervous. I don't want to lose _again._

* * *

"Alright, bear, it's about time you and I won a challenge," Steve Jenkins said. "I know you didn't really catch on last time, but you're in the presence of one Steve Jenkins. You're not going to let down Steve Jenkins, are you?"

The bear rolled its eyes but continued to follow the path of flags.

Just then, the pink bear, with Virgil riding atop it, sprinted past the gold bear and Steve Jenkins.

"H-Hey! I didn't give you permission to pass me!" Steve Jenkins objected.

"Sorry, Sweet Jenkins. Second place is still good, too," Virgil patronized.

"Are you just going to let him get away with that?!" Steve Jenkins challenged the gold bear. "Come on, let's show him what we're really made of!"

The gold bear made no noticeable increase in speed.

"Look out, world, here comes Fred!" Fred announced as the green bear ran its way through the path, only for the green bear to trip on a rock, sending Fred flying and the bear tumbling. "I'm okay!" Fred insisted.

Rhiannon, atop the blue bear, passed both the fallen boy and his fallen steed.

"I guess I can finally add 'rode a bear' to my resume," Rhiannon winked to no one in particular.

The gold bear, noticeably creeped out, finally put some effort into transporting Steve Jenkins to their destination quickly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Getting attacked by bees together can bring about a close bond between man and beast, it seems. Heh. Can we get the bear to be a permanent member of the Luscious Lollipops?

 **Fred:** It's times like these where you can't focus on the pain! Just dust yourself off and keep on going! It's not over until it's over! ...Although I think I might have bruised a rib, actually. Eh, I'll sleep it off.

* * *

Kun, Louise, Mark, and Shadya had gathered around a third Chris totem pole.

"As someone who uses pencils every day, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that mechanical pencils are more convenient," Shadya insisted.

"But are they truly?" Kun asked. "Can anything, um, truly match the confidence one has in oneself when they hold a firm, wooden pencil?"

"I have perfect confidence in everything I do," Shadya stated. "What do you know of confidence?"

"I have no memory of my time in school. Is this a common debate?" Mark whispered to Louise.

"I don't think so," Louise giggled.

"Hey Licorice!" Virgil called as he arrived on the pink bear.

"Virgil! We're in first?!" Louise cheered.

"Spend too long gawking, and that might change," Virgil reminded her as he hopped off the bear.

"Right!" Louise nodded as she replaced him. "Let's go!" she urged the bear as she spurred it.

"Not on Steve Jenkins' watch!" Steve Jenkins shouted as he arrived on scene. "Shady! You got this!"

"As usual, it falls on me to do what you cannot," Shadya told Steve Jenkins.

"Hey, the only thing you can do that Steve Jenkins can't is breastfeed!" Steve Jenkins objected as he and Shadya traded places atop the bear.

"I'm going to smack you so hard when this challenge is over," Shadya sighed before spurring the bear on herself.

"She digs me," Steve Jenkins bragged to Kun, Mark, and Virgil once Steve Jenkins was out of earshot.

Just then, Rhiannon arrived on the blue bear.

"We've still got this, Kun," Rhiannon winked. "Don't let me down."

"I-I, um, well, obviously, I, um, wasn't planning to," Kun stammered. "Um, let you down, I mean."

Rhiannon giggled as she hopped off the bear. Kun took her spot and continued the race.

"I hope Fred is safe, at least," Mark thought aloud.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** It's times like these where I wonder if it would have been worth it to let Rowan keep messing with Jeremy's head if it meant no more Steve Jenkins.

 **Kun:** As the, um, team leader, I am proud to bear the yoke of, um, our overall performance in the entire challenge resting on my, um, shoulders. _(He gulps loudly.)_

* * *

Louise and the pink bear made their way through the final stretch of flags.

"We've got this in the bag!" Louise cheered.

"If you think you'll be placing first, you're sorely mistaken," Shadya said firmly as she and the gold bear closed in on Louise.

"That's what you think!" Louise teased playfully.

Shadya's bear advanced right next to Louise's, allowing her to shove Louise off her bear entirely.

"Whoa!" Louise cried. "That's super not cool!"

"Pardon me," Kun said as he passed Louise.

"Quick, we need to catch up!" Louise told the pink bear, who nodded in agreement and let her back on.

As the pink bear picked momentum back up, Mark caught up in the race.

"Did you see what Shadya just did?" Louise asked Mark. "She pushed me right off my bear!"

"Hm. She was always confident, but I never saw her as aggressive," Mark responded. "Interesting."

Shadya maintained her lead, with Kun trailing behind her.

"Make sure we stay behind the gold bear but in front of the other two," Kun whispered to the blue bear. "If we get too close to Shadya, she may, um, push us over as well, and cost us the, um, race."

The blue bear nodded in understanding.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** For someone who says she's so perfect, you'd think Shadya would try to win with her own supposed talent instead of such a dirty trick!

 **Mark:** Is playing dirty encouraged in this game? I'd think it would make people more likely to vote you out. Then again, if you play dirty and win the challenge, it won't matter.

* * *

Bunko, Dean, Hiram, and Nestor sat by the giant oak tree as Chris stood by the finish line.

"So, do you guys like music?" Nestor asked.

"I like Imagine Dragons," Dean answered.

"Alright, sorry I asked," Nestor cringed.

In no time at all, Shadya crossed the finish line on her gold steed.

"The Best Team wins first place once again!" Chris announced.

"Yaaaaaaaaas!" Nestor cheered.

Shadya simply nodded.

Kun arrived not long after.

"Second place! The Knights of Goodness!" Chris announced.

"You did good, Kun," Kun told himself. "You, um, _are_ a leader."

"Looks like it's down to our teams," Dean said to Bunko and Hiram.

"Don't stress Bunko out, Dean!" Hiram accused.

"Sorry," Dean frowned.

Bunko sighed.

Louise and Mark both rode in close to the finish line, side-by-side.

"Shall we settle this fairly?" Mark asked Louise. "No sabotage or anything."

"What's wrong? Scared you're going to lose?" Louise teased.

"If that's a 'no', then I won't hold to the offer, either," Mark warned her.

"We're good, don't worry," Louise assured him.

"Then may the best of us win," Mark smiled as he spurred his bear on.

"Agreed!" Louise grinned as she did the same.

"It's neck and neck between Mark and Louise," Chris said.

"Elmer is in danger!" Mark called to Louise. "If you beat me, he might go home!"

"Nice try, buster," Louise retorted.

The two approached the finish line quickly, but one of them managed to cross a clear split second before the other.

"And that's the challenge!" Chris announced. "In third place..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"The Luscious Lollipops!"

"Great job, Louise," Dean complimented.

"Which means that Team I Don't Know's Invincibility streak has been broken," Chris continued.

"Sorry, guys," Mark apologized to Bunko and Hiram.

"Hey, you did your best," Bunko told him.

"Losing eventually was inevitable..." Hiram muttered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** Is Elmer really in danger? He might be, but he's, like, the smartest guy I know. If anyone can work his way out of danger in this game, it's him.

 **Shadya:** ...I could have won without pushing Louise over. This Jeremy and Rowan stuff is stressing me out. I should find a better outlet that won't put such a target on my back.

* * *

The contestants gathered by the giant tree.

"Congrats to our first place winners, The Best Team!" Chris announced. "For rewards, you guys get luxury items from home for the rest of the game."

"Really?!" Jeremy gasped in excitement.

Interns filed in, each with something for a member of The Best Team.

"Nice, I was hoping I'd get this soon," Ginger smiled as she received a small knapsack. "Some parts I've been tinkering with. It'll be nice to get back to work on these."

"My Rupaul bear!" Nestor cheered as he received a teddy bear with bountiful blonde hair and lots of makeup. "Aww, I got her as a birthday gift the same year I came out."

"I got my journal," Jeremy beamed. "So many stories of my outdoor excursions. I can't wait to add to this!"

"Hell yes!" Steve Jenkins grinned as he held up a skateboard featuring a stylized cartoon of Steve Jenkins on the bottom. "What'd you get, Shady?"

Shadya stared at the picture she had received, which featured her alongside an aging caucasian man.

"Who's the dilf?" Nestor teased.

"That's my dad, you ignoramus," Shadya answered. "This picture is a reminder of why I'm doing this. Why I do everything."

"Isn't that sweet?" Chris remarked facetiously. "Knights of Goodness, for placing second, you guys get to pick one person among you to receive a luxury item from home."

"One of you can have yours," Kun told his teammates.

"I don't really care that much," Liberty yawned.

"I bestow the honor upon Lady Rhiannon!" Hildegard said.

"Oh, really?" Rhiannon asked, a bit surprised. "If you guys don't mind, sure."

"Cool. You'll get it when you get back to camp since we're not actually allowed to show it on camera," Chris explained.

"...Oh," Kun winced in realization.

"Luscious Lollipops, none of you get a luxury item, but none of you are going home tonight, either," Chris continued.

"What greater luxury is there in this game than safety?" Wisdom mused.

"I don't know, a skateboard would be pretty cool," Gretchen commented as she glanced at Steve Jenkins skating around on his board.

"Team I Don't Know, your reward is the luxury of getting to vote someone out," Chris smirked.

"...Hey, that's not a reward at all!" Bunko realized.

"It's a matter of perspective," Chris shrugged nonchalantly. "You guys are dismissed back to your camps."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** See, even with a rocky start, we can still net a first place win! Because The Best Team has the most passion towards winning!

 **Hildegard:** With the luck of the heavens, Rhiannon may yet remember this good deed I have done for her should she and I have to share a vote once again. Er, though that be not the main reason as to why I offered! I do good for the sake of doing good! As any paladin does!

 **Wisdom:** Are they keeping everyone else's luxury items hostage? Will the rest of us be able to get ours at any point?

 **Elmer:** It was only a matter of time, I guess. How tonight turns out depends on how this evening goes, and I will not let things go awry.

* * *

Bunko, Hiram, and Mark met up at the beach away from their camp.

"So, what do you think we should do?" Bunko asked.

"I still think we should vote Fred out," Hiram stated. "He's our weakest link."

"He is the main reason we fell behind so much in the challenge," Mark said. "Although, I could have done a better job picking up the slack."

"It's not your fault, Mark," Bunko told him.

"Er, anyway, I think we can afford to lose Fred," Mark nodded.

"Won't we need a fourth vote, though?" Hiram asked. "What about Elmer?"

"Elmer and Fred are friends. I don't see him voting Fred," Mark explained. "I will talk to Roxie, though. She might go for it."

"I don't like the idea of working with Roxie, but if she's our only option, then so be it," Hiram agreed. "Actually, could we convince Elmer to vote out Roxie?"

"I think we'd have an easier time getting Roxie to vote for Fred," Mark said.

"I suppose we lose a detriment to the team either way," Hiram conceded. "Alright, let's vote for Fred tonight."

"So it's decided?" Bunko asked.

"Don't worry, Bunko. Fred won't be able to put us at risk for much longer," Hiram smiled.

"Yaaaaaaay," Bunko said unconvincingly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I don't like lying to people, so I let Mark play along with what Hiram wanted to do. In reality, Mark and I are also in an alliance with Fred, and obviously, that means we won't vote for him.

 **Hiram:** I know Bunko doesn't want me to speak so negatively, but it's hard not to when we have Fred and Roxie draining our team so much. I'll be happy to get rid of Fred tonight.

* * *

At the same time as this all happened, Elmer, Fred, and Roxie met up at the team's camp.

"So, I forget, are you still insistent that we vote for Bunko, or are you finally willing to vote for Hiram?" Roxie asked Elmer.

"I still think voting for Bunko is our best move," Elmer said. "I've spoken to Mark about it, and he seemed receptive to the idea."

"Really? Because I remember him dodging the question of whether or not he wanted to align with us," Roxie commented.

"Whoa, where was I when this happened?" Fred asked.

"Running around and hurting yourself, I think," Roxie answered.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Fred accepted.

"Well, you and Mark get along, right?" Elmer asked Roxie. "Surely you've talked about this with him."

"Don't say foolish things. Mark and I do not 'hang out'. We just share a camp," Roxie insisted as she removed her mask and lit a cigarette. "We're teammates, Elmer. Who else is there to talk to? Hiram? Yeah, no thanks."

"Big mood," Fred chuckled. "By the way, I'm totes down to vote Hiram. Bunko doesn't deserve to go over him."

Elmer sighed. "If you two are adamant, then I will vote for Hiram," he said. "Truthfully, I don't like Hiram all that much either. I just wanted to make a game-changing move."

"You can do that later if you survive tonight," Roxie told him.

" _'If'_? Am I in danger?" Elmer asked.

"I don't know what those three are thinking," Roxie shrugged. "Contrary to what you think, I don't hang out with any of them."

Elmer rolled his eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Roxie's starting to sketch me out a bit. I'm certain that she's not telling me everything, and now I'm worried that I might actually be in danger. I need to do something, fast.

 **Roxie:** Huh, so Elmer is capable of looking at points of view other than his own. Go figure.

* * *

Bunko, Fred, and Mark met up in a nearby bit of forest.

"Alright, I just finished a little powwow with Elmer and Roxie. It looks like Elmer finally bent and wants to vote for Hiram," Fred explained.

"Hiram, unsurprisingly, wants to vote for you, Fred," Mark said.

"But obviously you guys aren't going through with that, right?" Fred asked.

"Mark, did we ever decide if we wanted to vote for Elmer for sure or Hiram for sure?" Bunko asked.

"I had assumed we were voting for Elmer," Mark said.

"I mean, I'd rather not, to be honest," Fred said. "He's not a bad guy per se."

"Neither is Hiram. I promise," Bunko said. "He's still just getting used to the unfamiliar environment. He's a sweet guy."

"Well, we have to vote for one of them," Mark pointed out.

"What about Roxie?" Bunko inquired. "Hiram mentioned he wouldn't mind voting for her."

"I won't vote for Roxie," Mark said. "At the end of the day, these are votes cast by individuals, right? Not groups. I have a right to not vote for someone if I don't want to. Er, right?"

"I don't think Roxie's in any rush to vote me out, so I'm cool with keeping her," Fred said. "But by that token, I'm not voting for Elmer."

"Well, I'm not voting for Hiram!" Bunko insisted. "He really trusts me. I can't break that trust.

"What happened to being uncomfortable with how dependent and protective he is of you?" Mark asked Bunko.

"I just need to talk to him about it," Bunko said. "Mark, do you really want to betray your friend like that?"

"Well, if all of us refuse to vote for a particular teammate, then what do we do?" Mark asked. "Have faith that the other two among us will vote the way we want?"

"It's better than all the fighting and arguing," Bunko sniffled.

"Besides, we aren't voting for each other, right?" Fred asked. "We should still be safe when it's all said and done."

"Hmm..." Mark thought to himself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I can see why people try so hard to avoid these voting scenarios. Anyway, I don't want to vote for Roxie because I think she's someone I can trust. I'm not sure I want to vote for Hiram over Elmer, either, for the same reason, but if Hiram is already a target, would it be a safer bet to just go with what Elmer and Roxie are doing? I'm honestly not sure.

 **Fred:** Man, at this point, I might as well stick with Elmer and Roxie, if Bunko's going to be so difficult about Hiram. Man, I bet she probably feels the same way about me not wanting to vote for Elmer. I just don't know, dudes.

* * *

Mark and Roxie met up by the spot where they'd searched for her knife.

"So, what are you thinking for tonight's vote?" Mark asked. "I have no idea what to expect."

"The way I'm voting is none of your business," Roxie said. "Loose lips sink ships, you know."

"I can see how that would make sense," Mark nodded. "For what it's worth, I don't think anyone is voting for you tonight."

"Likewise," Roxie told the amnesiac.

Silence.

"If you must know, I'm voting for Hiram," Roxie said. "I know you're his friend, so I don't expect you to join me, but if you give me a better alternative, I might change my mind."

"Hiram entertained the idea of voting for Fred," Mark said. "I'm not sure where Bunko's head is at. Could be Fred, could be Elmer."

"Elmer?" Roxie asked.

"Are you interested in voting for Elmer?" Mark asked.

"Doubtful," Roxie responded.

"Hey, you two!" Elmer called as he ran up to the two. "Talking strategy?"

"When have my conversations ever been your business?" Roxie snorted.

"When the voting period began," Elmer said. "Mark, I'm sure I don't have to tell you because I'm sure Roxie already has, but we're thinking of voting for Hiram. I know you're apprehensive, but I implore you to consider it."

"Honestly, I'm apprehensive about everything. It's all so confusing," Mark said. "At this point, I just want to get the vote over with."

"Amen to that," Roxie said as she walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** What Roxie said about loose lips sinking ships may be the best advice I've heard all day. I almost told her about my side alliance, but maybe it's for the best that she doesn't know. She is still aligned with Elmer, and he definitely doesn't need to know. _(He takes a deep breath.)_

* * *

Night had fallen, and Bunko, Elmer, Fred, Hiram, Mark, and Roxie all met up with Chris at the ceremonial campfire.

"Team I Don't Know!" Chris greeted. " _I don't know_ how it took so long for you guys to lose a challenge, but it looks like it finally happened. Mark, this is your first-ever vote. Are you surprised by how much factors into it?"

"Absolutely," Mark nodded. "When you think of a vote, you think of it like a simple 'I like this person more than that person' or 'I think this person might be more useful than that person', but people are making deals with each other to not vote for each other, and with only six people between us, it makes things difficult, to say the least."

"Fred, what kinds of deals have you seen being formed?" Chris asked.

"Man, you totally said 'seen' on purpose, didn't you?" Fred griped. "Well, I know that Bunko, Hiram, and Mark are close, and that led to me grouping up with Elmer and Roxie to counteract that, or something."

"Safety in numbers. If you can't join them, beat them. That's how deals are formed," Roxie mused.

"So you're saying Elmer and Fred aren't your first choice in allies?" Chris asked Roxie.

"I'm a lone wolf, Chris. Nobody is my first choice. But what can you do?" Roxie answered.

"Elmer, what's your biggest concern going into tonight?" Chris asked.

"With so much time to talk things over between getting back to camp, and coming here, people can change their minds very quickly," Elmer said. "I even considered voting for Bunko for a while, but that's no longer the case."

Hiram's eyes grew wide.

"Hiram, it's okay," Bunko told him.

"No, it's not okay!" Hiram snapped. "What did Bunko ever do to you, Elmer?!"

"Nothing!" Elmer insisted. "I have nothing against Bunko! Nobody does! That's why she's a threat!"

"I'm a threat?!" Bunko gasped. "Oh no!"

"I'm not even voting for her anymore," Elmer said. "Hate to break it to you, kid, but everyone's voting for you."

"No!" Hiram objected. "No no no no no no NO! You can't take me away from Mommy!"

" _Mommy_?" Fred asked.

"We need to protect and look out for each other!" Hiram shouted. "From people like you, Elmer! People who want to vote out someone who never did anything wrong! Especially to you!"

Hiram took a pocket knife from his pocket and opened it.

"Hey! That's where that went!" Roxie accused. "That's mine!"

"Here's the deal, everyone," Hiram said. "We're voting for Elmer tonight. Anyone who doesn't vote for Elmer won't like the results." He shook the knife back and forth. "And don't think you can vote me out to stop me. If I'm voted out, I'm going to... hurt myself in front of all of you. You don't want that, do you? You don't want to be responsible for me bleeding out, writhing in agony? Well, Elmer might, because he's a heartless bastard! Heartless, heartless, heartless, HEARTLESS!"

Hiram bore a wide, toothy grin on his face.

"If nobody has any counterpoints, I think now's as good a time as any to vote," Chris said. "Hiram, please, start us off."

"With pleasure," Hiram chuckled.

* * *

After all six contestants cast their votes, Chris revealed a platter with five marshmallows.

"Here's the deal," Chris began. "There are six of you, and five marshmallows. If I hand you a marshmallow, that means that you're safe. But if you don't get a marshmallow, that means that you got the most votes, and you've been eliminated from the game. You'll have to walk down the Dock of Shame and board the Boat of Losers. Destination: out of here. Hehaha."

Hiram softly drew the point of the knife down his cheek.

"The following people... are safe," Chris began.

"Mark."

"Roxie."

"Fred."

"Bunko."

Elmer gripped onto his knees with shaking hands. Hiram could only grin.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Elmer, you are safe," Chris concluded.

Hiram immediately slashed at his upper arm with the knife.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!" Hiram cried. "Look... Look what you made me do! You monsters! Monsters, monsters, monsters!"

"Give me that!" Roxie said through her teeth as she wrenched the knife from the boy's hand. "No one made you do anything. You were crazy all on your own."

"...No..." Hiram sobbed. "Don't take Mommy away from me! I can't bear it! Please! PLEAHEAHEASE!"

Hiram burst into tears, falling to the ground as a weeping mess.

"Hiram..." Bunko held back tears.

"Ugh. There's always one, isn't there?" Chris groaned. "Security!"

A large, muscular intern arrived, picked Hiram up off the ground, and carried him to the Boat of Losers.

"No! No no no! NOOOOOOOOOO!" Hiram wailed. "MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

The intern tossed Hiram roughly onto the Boat, which promptly drove away.

"Man, that's two for two with me casting god-awful homeschoolers," Chris sighed. "Anyway, I don't think anything more needs to be said. Sleep tight, kiddies! Hehaha."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Did I bring up that I had considered targeting Bunko solely to get a rise out of Hiram? Because I knew it might shift more votes in his direction? It was a last-ditch effort, I'll admit, but it worked out in the end, didn't it? Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.

* * *

Chris stood alone on the Dock of Shame.

"That kid really needs to get out more," Chris chuckled to himself. "Anyway, after a dramatic first vote, how will Team I Don't Know draw their new lines? Will the Luscious Lollipops continue to sit pretty? Can anyone really trust each other on the Knights of Goodness? Will The Best Team show a more emotional side? The answers to these questions may or may not come, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Hiram:** Elmer, you've made a grave mistake. Nobody gets between me and my mommy!

 **Elmer:** Fingers crossed that this Hiram vote pans out. Louise would never let me hear the end of it if Hiram's little display actually resulted in me leaving.

 **Fred:** Hiram isn't just wack, he's wiggity-wack! Let's ditch this loser already, yeah?

 **Roxie:** You steal my knife, and then threaten to cut people if they don't vote your way? Jump in a ditch, Hiram.

 **Bunko:** Hiram isn't a bad person. I know he isn't. I can talk some sense into him, I promise! I vote for Elmer.

 **Mark:** I never thought it'd come to this, especially in my very first vote, but I guess I have no choice but to vote out Hiram. You can't just keep someone who's threatening to hurt his teammates in the game. I'm sure he didn't mean it when he said he'd hurt himself.

* * *

 _A/N: Lmao, fucking Hiram. Hiram ended up differently from his original inception, maybe not necessarily for the better, but I like to think that I know when to cut my losses. Hiram was always meant to snap during his first vote and threaten violence on his teammates, but I actually had him surviving the vote, ending up as a pariah among his team and going home early in the second island. But, Hiram was never super popular, to begin with, and I figured it wouldn't make any logical sense to keep him after, well, that. I think I made the right move getting rid of Hiram at this point in the story instead. Whatever the case, he's gone now._


	8. Chocolate Will Never Betray Me

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the Dock of Shame. "In our last episode, we explored the more casual side of camp life for our teams, although, that didn't mean any sort of lack of conflict. Hehaha. Hildegard declared it her mission to add Liberty and Rhiannon to her 'round table', while Kun seems to be taking a softer approach. Louise organized a girls' outing with Gretchen and Wisdom, to mixed results, while Dean once again failed to elicit anything but annoyance from Virgil. Tensions between Fred and Hiram increased, with Bunko caught in the middle, while Mark and Roxie seem to be growing a bit closer. Shadya confided in Ginger that she does actually have emotions, while Nestor tried and failed to get Jeremy to align with him.

"The challenge saw the return of the bears from our third round, forcing the contestants to ride upon their backs in a relay race that saw no shortage of spills and shake-ups. It really was anyone's race, but The Best Team managed to place first, granting each of its members a luxury item from home. Team I Don't Know, on the other hand, just barely took the L, sending the sixsome to elimination.

"Hiram and his alliance discussed voting for Fred, while Elmer and his alliance settled on voting for Hiram. Unbeknownst to both boys, however, a side alliance of Bunko, Fred, and Mark had already begun conspiring, torn between a straightforward Hiram vote or an Elmer blindside. After Elmer let it slip at the voting ceremony that he had at one point targeted Bunko, Hiram didn't take to it very well, calling out threats with the knife he'd stolen from Roxie. This was enough to push the votes against Hiram, leaving the boy crying for mommy on his way out.

"Now that each team has lost at least once, everybody has something to prove. Who will prove themselves worthy, and who will prove to be worth nineteenth place? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The five remaining members of Team I Don't Know returned to their campsite shortly after elimination.

"Well, that certainly was something," Elmer commented.

"So Hiram took your knife all along?" Fred asked.

"Don't know when he did. Or why he did it, either. But I got it back," Roxie answered.

"I wonder if that's just how he is normally and he was too shy to let it out, or if that's how he is under pressure since he seems so unused to it," Elmer wondered.

"It's got to be that second one," Bunko insisted.

"What makes you so sure?" Elmer inquired.

"He and I talked all the time. We had totally normal and honest conversations," Bunko continued. "He was just scared."

"That's no excuse... for stealing and threatening. Stop defending him," Roxie countered.

"I know y'all two were homies and shiz, but he still said he'd knife us if we didn't vote for Elmer," Fred added. "You can't justify that."

"Any added perspective as a friend of Hiram's, Mark?" Elmer queried.

"Huh? Well, I voted him out, didn't I?" Mark responded. "Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind."

"Hiram isn't a bad person," Bunko frowned under her breath.

"Good people don't do the things he did," Roxie said simply.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** Ugh, Bunko better not be under some kind of Stockholm Syndrome, or whatever it would be in this case. I don't think I can deal with that, not that I was all that fond of her to begin with.

 **Fred:** Things couldn't be going any better for your boy. I'm in the middle of two alliances of three, and the guy who wanted me gone most of all just hauled ass out of here. There's no excuse for anyone to vote me out now! Stupidnaysayerssaywhaaaaaat? _(He dabs.)_

 **Bunko:** I know Hiram did and said some really bad things back at the campfire ceremony, but that's only because of the stressful circumstances, not because of who he is. He's not a bad person. He's not.

* * *

Dean tended to a few slabs of meat on the team's grill grate, while the other four Luscious Lollipops sat on nearby logs.

"Come on, what's taking so long?" Gretchen complained.

"Meat takes time to cook," Dean said.

"I'm hungry," Virgil droned.

"Why don't you eat some of your bountiful stash of candy?" Wisdom asked.

"That isn't a meal and you know it," Virgil responded.

"Okay, guys, this should be ready," Dean announced as he moved the grate away from the fire.

"Great! It smells good," Louise said excitedly.

Dean used the team's machete to transfer the meat into hollowed coconut halves for each of his teammates.

"Cooking is a vital skill for the deuteragonist, you know," Gretchen said. "Unless the story is explicitly about cooking, the protagonist never cooks. Maybe you'll finally be good for something after all."

"Y-You really think so?" Dean asked hopefully.

Virgil took a bite of his meat. His eyes went wide.

"Eugh!" Virgil coughed. "It's raw!"

"I-It can't be!" Dean panicked. "I cooked them thoroughly."

Virgil inspected the middle of his pork cutlet, which was still pink.

"Then explain this," Virgil grunted as he showed Dean.

"Classic Dean, I guess," Dean laughed nervously. "Even when I think I do a decent job, I find some way to mess it up."

"Is this a joke to you? You could have poisoned me!" Virgil snapped.

"Virgil, it's fine," Louise said. "We can just put it back over the fire."

"This had better be the start of your 'getting good at cooking' arc," Gretchen scolded Dean.

Dean just sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** I don't have much experience cooking unless you count microwaving canned soup or maybe toast. I knew I didn't want to overcook the meat, and I thought maybe it'd count as medium rare or something? I guess that doesn't apply to pork though. _(He sighs.)_

 **Virgil:** See, with candy, there's no way you can mess that up. Candy is good no matter what. If I want a chocolate bar, all I have to do is unwrap it, and there you go. _(After a pause, he unwraps a chocolate bar.)_ Chocolate will never betray me. _(He takes a bite.)_

 **Wisdom:** Why is it that cow meat can be enjoyed without cooking it all the way, but other meats can't? Actually, you can eat fish raw, can't you? And other kinds of seafood, too? So why not pork, or chicken, or turkey? What's the determining factor?

* * *

Hildegard, Kun, and Liberty sat around the team's campfire, eating breakfast.

"Hast any of thou seen Rhiannon hither or thither?" Hildegard asked.

"I think she's getting more firewood or something," Liberty droned.

"Wearing her, um, luxury item, no less," Kun added.

"Surely thou jest," Hildegard groaned. "What would drive one to wear such a thing in any context, let alone nonsexual?"

"I think she said something about, um, normalizing sexual connotations in casual settings," Kun said.

"Is that what she calls it?" Liberty scoffed.

"Did Chris not say that she wasn't allowed to showcase it?" Hildegard asked.

"To keep a Teen rating, yeah," Kun confirmed. "So what if she, um, refuses to take it off?"

"Then the mighty fist of the law shall lay its righteous judgment upon her!" Hildegard declared.

"Is that what she calls it?" Liberty muttered to Kun.

"As long as she continues to be useful to the, um, team, I see little issue with it all," Kun said. "That said, um, if it proves a hindrance in any way, then I shall have to, um, make her take it off."

"Kinky," Liberty chuckled.

"Please, um, don't," Kun frowned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** I made the executive decision to, um, turn down my luxury item since, um, a good leader keeps the needs of his, um, followers in mind. Perhaps I should have, um, considered all the factors first. What did Rhiannon even plan on doing with that thing when she chose _that_ to be her luxury item?

 **Hildegard:** A good paladin remains chaste and pure in order to maintain a clear mind focused on what is truly important! How can I maintain a lawful good disposition if my mind is clouded with thoughts of boys?

 **Liberty:** _(She yawns.)_ I accepted long ago that my team was stupid. I don't think this is even in the top five stupidest things that someone on my team has done.

* * *

The members of The Best Team sat in their shelter as Jeremy read from his journal.

"'March 17th, 2013'," Jeremy read. "'Nothing compares to the satisfaction I feel when I reach the destination of my climb. They say that the journey, not the destination, that matters, but whoever said that has never seen the sunset on the horizon over gorgeous Lake Tahoe. The little bit of leftover winter snow on this mountain peak only emphasizes the beauty of nature'."

"Ooh, you've got a way with words, Jer," Nestor complimented. "Maybe you should keep a blog."

"I don't think blogging is for me," Jeremy chuckled. "At that point, it'd feel like I'm climbing for the sake of the blog, not for the accomplishment, the experience."

"To each their own, I suppose," Shadya said.

"If it were me, I'd let everyone know what was up," Steve Jenkins grinned. "Everyone deserves to know the goings-on of Steve Jenkins."

"While I am certainly no stranger to making my accomplishments known, there is a certain appeal to the intimacy of keeping your own personal journal," Shadya said.

"Do you keep a journal, Shadya?" Jeremy asked.

"Of course not. Everything I have accomplished is well-known, just as it should be," Shadya said.

"I can't afford to let my knowledge become public," Ginger chimed in. "If anyone is profiting from my hard work, it's going to be me, damn it!"

"It's always about the money with you, isn't it?" Nestor teased.

Ginger merely scowled in response.

"I wonder what Rowan's luxury item would have been if she were still here," Jeremy thought aloud.

Shadya rolled her eyes.

"Probably nothing as cool as a Steve Jenkins skateboard," Steve Jenkins said.

Shadya rolled her eyes harder.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** I've traveled all across North America for neat locales to visit and hike, and after a while, I started keeping a journal, so I can never forget all the great times I've had. Maybe I should start writing about my time out here!

 **Shadya:** I genuinely cannot fathom what Jeremy likes so much about Rowan. Or why he's still talking about her as if she ever mattered. ...To reiterate, I am not jealous.

 **Ginger:** My ideas will change the world as we know it. It's not unreasonable to want a fat-ass paycheck for that. Hmph.

* * *

Mark found Roxie smoking at her usual spot.

"Mark, me telling you about this spot was not an invitation for you to bug me whenever you want," Roxie leered.

"Sorry," Mark apologized. "I've just had something really bothering me and I just kind of wanted to get it off my chest, but I'll leave you alone."

"Just get it over with," Roxie coaxed. "I won't listen to a word you're saying, but I won't stop you from saying it."

"Uh... okay?" Mark said, confused. "Well, it's about yesterday's reward. The people who got a reward got something from home, something with sentimental value, right?"

Mark waited for Roxie to respond, only to remember that she said she wouldn't.

"So, er, I've been thinking about what the heck mine could be," Mark continued. "And maybe if it could have jogged my memories. It's just... What if we had won yesterday's challenge, Roxie? What if I had any tangible idea of who I am? I hate all this uncertainty. I just want answers! It's _killing_ me!"

Mark took a deep breath.

"You're lucky, Roxie," Mark said. "You're probably the person who's most sure of who she is that I've ever met. Well, that I can remember, anyway."

Roxie gave Mark a look.

"Did I... say something wrong?" Mark asked.

"'Sup, dawgs!" Fred interrupted as he ran up to the two. "I smelled Roxie smoking and couldn't help but wonder what was going on. Planning something dope?"

"I was just leaving," Roxie said as she flicked her cigarette butt at Fred's face. She made her way back to camp.

"What's with her?" Fred asked.

"I'm even more confused than you are," Mark admitted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I thought she said she wasn't going to listen to what I was saying. Well, either way, I get the feeling that I overstepped my boundaries. Roxie is someone I feel like I can trust, but at the same time, she's kind of an enigma. Not that I can talk, huh?

 **Roxie:** This is nothing new. I've dealt with people like Mark. He doesn't know me. If he did know me... he'd not want to be my friend. Don't patronize me.

 **Fred:** The worst part is, that was my first time in that part of the beach, so I had no idea where I was going or how to get back. Not that that ever stops me! It just... y'know... took some time to find my way back.

* * *

Dean walked through the forest on his own.

"Don't let them get you down," Dean told himself. "You've already outlasted five people. That's not bad at all."

"Are you doing well?" Wisdom asked as she appeared behind him.

"Oh, Wisdom!" Dean jumped. "You scared me."

"Am I scary?" Wisdom asked as she cocked her head to the side. "What about me intimidates you?"

"The fact that I wasn't expecting you to show up behind me, I guess," Dean figured.

Wisdom looked pensive for a moment before speaking up. "Why are you walking all alone?"

"Oh, I just needed to take a second to de-stress myself," Dean admitted. "Screwing up breakfast like that got to me more than I wish it did."

"Is it so unreasonable to make mistakes on your first time attempting something?" Wisdom figured.

"That's what I tried telling myself," Dean said. "But Gretchen and Virgil still weren't happy with me at all."

"Why do you care what they think?" Wisdom asked.

"Well, they could vote me out if we lost, mostly," Dean said.

"Would Gretchen vote out her deuteragonist?" Wisdom asked.

"If it's me, I can definitely see it happening," Dean answered. "By the way, if we do lose again, and the others all want to vote for me, please vote for me with them. I don't want you to become a target for going against the grain."

"You... _want_ me to vote for you?" Wisdom asked, confused.

"You saved me back in the first round," Dean smiled. "So I want to save you, too. Don't put yourself in danger just for loyalty's sake. That... That was a stupid way to word that. But you know what I mean, right?"

Wisdom looked deep in thought.

"Wisdom?" Dean prompted.

"...We won't have to worry about that if we keep winning challenges, right?" Wisdom mentioned.

"True, but how much longer can we go without me Deaning up a challenge?" Dean reasoned.

Wisdom looked at Dean with concern.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** How can one be so confident in the face of their own sense of self-defeat? How sure do you have to be that you will lose that you tell your friend to leave you behind when the time comes? Should I even humor his proposal? I should do what I can to keep him safe, right? But what if he's right, and Gretchen turns on him? What should I do then?

 **Dean:** I cannot thank Wisdom enough for what she did to keep me in the game. Nobody's ever done anything that nice to me before. Obviously, I'm going to stick it out as long as I can in this game, but after I go, I'll be rooting for Wisdom to win. And she can't do that if she's voted out right after me, right?

* * *

Hildegard, with her lance in hand, scoured the area near the Knights of Goodness camp for food.

"Nary a beast sleeps near our camp of late," Hildegard sighed. "Perhaps they know better by now. But then what will my good Knights eat?"

Hildegard leaned against a tree, removed her helmet, and wiped sweat from her brow.

"Our food runs scarce, as do our numbers," Hildegard continued. "Four of us to the other teams' five. An embarrassing display if ever I have been a part of one."

Hildegard put her helmet back on.

"If I can overcome four-to-one odds after little Tegan left us, I can overcome what lies ahead!" Hildegard decided. "A true paladin does not lay down and die until the undeniable end! How can I call myself a Knight of Goodness if I were to relent with such ease?"

Hildegard took notice of a nearby tree which bore plums.

"The Lord provideth for His disciples!" Hildegard cheered. She got down on one knee and began to pray. "I shall win today's challenge in thy name, O Lord. Thy generosity shan't be wasted."

Hildegard stood back up and approached the tree to harvest its fruit.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Ay, I do consider myself religious, roleplaying aside. The Lord watcheth over me, and always has, ever since I was but a babe. 'Tis part of why I chose to take up the lance of a paladin, specifically!

* * *

Jeremy and Shadya had gone to a stream near the base of The Best Team's mountain to refill their teammates' canteens.

"It's great that you found this stream," Jeremy beamed. "This will be a lot easier than boiling seawater constantly."

"Jeremy, I'm afraid I'm in a state of confusion," Shadya said bluntly. "And I do not wish for it to continue to affect my performance in challenges. Thus, I wish to speak to you about it."

"Whoa, it sounds serious," Jeremy said. "I'm all ears."

"You have said in the past that you have looked up to me since before we even met, right?" Shadya established.

"I thought you didn't want me to talk about that anymore," Jeremy said.

"And I wish for you to continue not talking about it," Shadya said. "What I'm confused about is how you were able to so quickly feel as loyal to Rowan, a complete stranger, as you are to me."

"Rowan and I got along really well," Jeremy frowned. "And don't tell me she was just manipulating me. Even if she did want my vote, we really did have a connection. That can't be faked. And after you scolded me for all the compliments, I-"

"Don't make me sound like the bad guy here," Shadya interrupted.

"Well, how would you word it?" Jeremy frowned.

"I simply advised you not to put so much stock in my potential that you ignore your own or your teammates'," Shadya said matter-of-factly.

"Well, you were a lot angrier than that implies," Jeremy admitted.

"I will not be put at risk again," Shadya said firmly. "I was nearly voted out the other day, you may recall. That is unacceptable. I will take any and all measures to make sure I win this game."

"For your dad, right?" Jeremy recalled.

"Keep your nose out of other people's' business," Shadya said harshly as she wagged her finger in the mountaineer's face.

"Y-Yes ma'am," Jeremy gulped.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** Well that certainly was... something. She tells me something is bothering her, she asks me about it, and then gets angry when I don't answer the way she wants? Now _I'm_ confused.

 **Shadya:** I really should come to accept that people like Jeremy will never make any sense. As long as he's loyal to me in the end, I couldn't care less. I should focus on my victory, first and foremost.

* * *

Elmer found Bunko pacing back and forth on her own.

"Hey, Bunko. How's it going?" Elmer greeted.

"Elmer, you're smart, right?" Bunko asked.

"Er, I like to think so," Elmer answered. "Why, what's up?"

"Do you think there's such a thing as good and bad people?" Bunko asked.

"Heh. Morality is something I don't think anyone has a concrete answer for," Elmer said. "I think it's up to the individual to come to their own conclusion. Although, that is how conflicts tend to arise, isn't it?"

"I don't know. I've never been that smart," Bunko said.

"Well, everyone does good and bad things," Elmer explained. "And even then, different people have different interpretations of what good and bad are. What some people consider good, others may consider bad, and vice versa."

"So good and bad are all meaningless?" Bunko asked, distressed.

"Not at all," Elmer said as he shook his head. "Without the concepts of good and bad, society as we know it wouldn't exist. We can only carry on as a species if we have some idea of what should be encouraged or punished. Otherwise, things would just descend into dangerous, violent chaos. Obviously, nobody is perfect, but I think as long as we all strive to be the best person we can be... well, who knows?"

"Now I'm even more confused," Bunko admitted.

"Yeah, I got kind of philosophical there, didn't I?" Elmer chuckled. "If you ask a deep question, you get a deep answer, I suppose."

"Can you simplify it?" Bunko asked.

"I don't think there's such a thing as good or bad people," Elmer summarized. "I think everyone has some good and some bad in them. Sure, some people do more good than bad, and some people do more bad than good, but honestly, all of us are just trying to get by in life, aren't we?"

"I guess so," Bunko said unsurely.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** She's still shaken about what Hiram did last night, I guess. I certainly can't blame her. Bunko's a simple girl - and I mean that in the nicest way possible - so she probably isn't used to... whatever was up with Hiram.

 **Bunko:** Nobody is good or bad, but somewhere in between. I don't think I believe that. Maybe... good people can do bad things, and bad people can do good things, but there are still good and bad people. Does Elmer think Hitler wasn't a bad person? Does he think Gandhi wasn't a good person? That just makes no sense!

* * *

Louise sat alone in her team's shelter, looking at her locket, which she had opened to reveal a picture of herself and a picture of Elmer on either side.

"I was wondering if that thing opened," Virgil commented as he sat next to the girl.

"Do you think Elmer made it through last night?" Louise asked. "The guy with the shaggy hair - Mark, I think - said Elmer was in danger. He may have been just trying to get me to lose the challenge, or he could have been telling the truth. Or both."

"I mean, if I was on Team I Don't Know, I don't think he would be my first choice in a target," Virgil shrugged. "Everyone else on that team looks like they kind of suck."

"Yeah, but you think everyone sucks," Louise pointed out.

"Not everyone. Just people who annoy me," Virgil said as he stuck a lollipop in his mouth.

"It's like that thing Elmer told me about once," Louise recalled. "About that guy who put his pet cat in a box and said it was both dead and alive at the same time."

"Yeah, I don't know much about that kind of stuff," Virgil admitted. "Either way, we'll find out when we get to today's challenge. If he's still here, great. If not, use your anger to drive you to win."

"I'd probably be more sad than angry," Louise said. "Geez, boys are so aggressive."

"And girls are so sensitive," Virgil countered. "Not that there's anything inherently wrong with either."

Virgil saw Gretchen returning to camp with a few pieces of fruit.

"Yo, Sour Grapes! How's _your_ love interest arc going?" Virgil called.

"It will happen! I'll probably meet them when we shuffle!" Gretchen insisted. "There are no viable options on this team!"

"Love you too, Grapes," Virgil chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Louise:** I know Elmer is really smart and knows how the game works, but that's never stopped people from getting voted out early before. I'd hate for him to lose so soon when he's been looking forward to playing this so much.

 **Gretchen:** Ah! The sheer unbridled _nerve_ of it all! Here I was, just minding my own business, getting food for the team, only for Virgil to make fun of me and give me a hurtful nickname! Okay, it was a really dumb nickname... but it's the intent, not the words themselves! He just may end up being my main antagonist. Assuming I don't vote him out the first chance I get.

 **Virgil:** Messing with Sour Grapes is fun. _(He shrugs faux-innocently.)_

* * *

Kun approached Liberty, who was fast asleep in the team's cave. He cleared his throat.

"Erm, Liberty?" Kun asked.

The girl remained unconscious.

Kun hesitantly bent down and shook Liberty lightly. "Liberty?" he coaxed.

" _What_?" Liberty asked harshly as she eased herself awake.

"Well, um, we should be called for a challenge soon," Kun said. "I figured, um, I should give you some time to wake up before it's officially time."

"So it isn't even actually challenge time yet?" Liberty spat.

"Liberty, I'm only, um, helping you," Kun frowned. "We both know you want to, um, stick around, and, um, being awake for the challenge should make that, um, a lot more attainable. You can sleep all you want after it's all, um, over."

"And what if we lose the challenge again?" Liberty challenged.

"Well, I should hope that would, um, affect how much you want to sleep," Kun said simply.

"You'd vote for me over Hildegard?" Liberty asked skeptically.

"Anything can, um, happen, realistically," Kun reminded her. "Please, I'm not asking much of you."

"Ughhhhhh. Fine," Liberty groaned.

"As I said, I'm, um, only doing this for your own benefit," Kun reiterated.

"Yeah, I'll wake you up in the middle of the night for your own benefit," Liberty muttered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Honestly, I wonder if I should, um, vote for Liberty if we do lose again. Hildegard may be a more, um, active threat, but should someone like Liberty really be allowed to stick around if she won't, um, contribute? My dad certainly wouldn't think so. But he also wouldn't put up with Hildegard, either.

 **Liberty:** Why the hell would you wake me up when it isn't even time to wake up yet? What kind of ass-backward logic is that?

* * *

Back at The Best Team's camp, Ginger sat in the shelter tinkering with a small machine.

"What'cha doing?" Steve Jenkins asked as he hovered over Ginger's shoulder.

"Robot stuff," Ginger said dismissively.

"Well, yeah, but _what_ are you doing?" Steve Jenkins asked. "Rewriting your future robot's personality so it matches Steve Jenkins'? Because, nice try kid, but there's only one Steve Jenkins, and he can't be replicated."

"Leave the girl alone," Nestor chuckled from his spot near the campfire.

"Aw, come on, robots are cool, and she never talks about them," Steve Jenkins complained.

"I guarantee that your understanding of robots is painfully limited thanks to all the gross exaggerations sci-fi media makes," Ginger said. "Believe me, if I tried talking with you about robots, you'd be bored in an instant."

"Been there, girl," Nestor chuckled. "You'd be surprised how many people _don't_ want to talk about this niche TV show all day. At least I've got my thousands of blog followers. I'm actually thinking of starting a Discord server."

"That's why you guys need to hop aboard the Steve Jenkins train," Steve Jenkins said. "Steve Jenkins is a way of life that everyone can relate to. When someone says 'Hey, what do you want to talk about?' and you answer 'Uh, Steve Jenkins, obviously', that person's going to be all 'See, that just went without saying. I was only trying to be polite'."

"I have had that exact conversation," Nestor joked.

"See, he gets it," Steve Jenkins said to Ginger.

"If I ever 'get it', you have my permission to shoot me in the head," Ginger remarked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Obviously the biggest downside to being on the literal Best Team is that you never get a chance to vote out the really annoying people. I guess I could have ended up with worse teammates, but I dare you to try spending a week with Nestor and Steve Jenkins and see if you don't want to flee to another hemisphere.

 **Steve Jenkins:** I feel like I'm really underappreciated out here. Just because Nestor has a blog and Ginger builds robots and Jeremy climbs mountains and Shady does... whatever she wants. I can do that stuff, too, I'm just too busy! As effortless as I make it look, being Steve Jenkins is hard work.

 **Nestor:** It's decided: if you donate ten dollars or more to my Paymeon, you can join the official "Talking Drama with Nestor" Discord server. Can't wait to see you guys there!

* * *

The nineteen contestants met up with Chris at the giant oak tree.

"Great to see you, campers!" Chris greeted. "Winning teams, as you can see, Hiram was voted out in last night's elimination ceremony."

Louise let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Told you Elmer could do it," Virgil said.

"Hiram was weak and looked to bring nothing to the team. I cannot say I'm surprised," Shadya commented.

"But over the, um, blind guy?" Kun mentioned quietly.

"He brings morale. Perhaps he has a social game, as well," Shadya stated.

"Anyway," Chris interrupted. "I'm sure you guys notice something different about our tree, here."

"What tree?" Fred asked.

Roxie rolled her eyes.

A quick scan of the giant oak tree proved Chris's statement correct. What was once a simple tree was now adorned with several wooden platforms and supports, as well as ropes, all painted to match the teams' colors.

"Your challenge today couldn't be simpler," Chris said. "Get all four participating team members to the highest platform in your team's color. You'll know which one it is by the team logo painted on it. The first three teams to do so will win Invincibility."

"Can we use ropes or platforms that aren't in our team color?" Gretchen asked.

"I mean, I guess, but it won't get you any closer to the platform you want to end up on," Chris shrugged.

"Why is Rhiannon wearing that? Is she even allowed to?" Elmer asked.

"We have tried reasoning with her. She will not unequip the item," Hildegard sighed.

"It's her loss in screentime," Chris figured. "If there are no other questions, it's time for The Best Team, Luscious Lollipops, and Team I Don't Know to pick someone to sit out. You can't sit the same person out in back-to-back challenges."

"I'll sit this one out," Ginger volunteered. "I've still got work to do on my luxury item."

"I will allow this, but do not allow it to distract you to the point of detriment in the future," Shadya said.

"I'm not going to let anyone get a peek up my skirt," Gretchen insisted. "I'm sitting this out."

"What about my dress?" Wisdom asked.

"You can climb below everyone else," Gretchen dismissed.

"I ain't sitting out," Fred insisted.

"Yes you ai," Roxie countered. "I don't care if you technically _can_ complete this, it's going to take way longer than if the rest of us with sight tried it."

"Brah, that's discrimination," Fred scoffed. "I cannot believe this rampant blindphobia."

"I'll sit out," Mark volunteered. "Fred is a contestant in this game, just like the rest of us," he told Roxie. "If he wants to play, then why not let him?"

"Because it'll cost us the challenge?" Roxie figured.

"Name one time I've cost us a challenge," Fred challenged.

"I have Ginger, Gretchen, and Mark as volunteers to sit out. Are these offers final?" Chris asked.

"Yes," Ginger, Gretchen, and Mark all said in unison.

"Alright. Let's get this underway," Chris said with a single clap.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** If my understanding of this game is correct, then we'll be rearranged into new teams in the near future. Talking to Ginger and Gretchen now might make them more inclined to be in an alliance with me if I end up on the same team as one or both of them. That's all it took for me to be in one with Bunko and Hiram.

 **Gretchen:** Am I confident that my team can win this without the help of the main character herself? Absolutely not. But hey, if we win, then great, we're safe. If we lose, then it only proves how valuable I am.

 **Ginger:** Those two from the other teams had better not try to talk to me. I sat out so I could work on my stuff in peace.

* * *

The groups of four had decided on the order in which each member of their team would begin their ascent.

"Is everyone ready?" Chris asked. "Well, you should be! GO!"

Elmer, Louise, Rhiannon, and Jeremy all began their ascent by climbing up a rope that hung close to the ground.

"Good luck, Elmer!" Louise called.

"Don't let your super hot girlfriend distract you, fam!" Fred reminded Elmer.

Louise giggled.

"May we both win," Elmer smiled to Louise.

"I'm with what's-his-face, don't get distracted," Virgil chimed in.

"Ah, young love," Jeremy smiled as he made a running jump from the top of the first platform to the next.

Elmer looked at the running jump he'd have to make warily. He looked at Louise, who had just finished performing hers.

"Virgil, you want to start climbing?" Louise called down.

"Might as well," Virgil decided as he climbed up the first rope.

"Alright, Elmer, your team is depending on you," Elmer decided quietly as he readied himself for the running jump. He went for it, and only barely made it on the platform safely.

"Rhiannon looks like she's high up enough," Kun decided. "I'll start my climb," he told Hildegard and Liberty.

"Godspeed!" Hildegard told him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** This challenge seems, um, dangerous, but with enough focus and finesse, I think we can, um, pull it off. I won't let my team down.

* * *

Jeremy found himself atop a platform which was jumping distance away from a rope which was jumping distance away from another platform.

"A rope swing? It's been too long since I've used one of these!" Jeremy beamed.

"Don't fall and die," Shadya mentioned as she ended up on the same platform.

Just as Shadya said this, Kun had attempted the rope swing himself, only to underswing and fall back to the ground below.

"You alright?" Liberty asked uncaringly.

"A-A team leader can bounce back from... any situation..." Kun insisted as he stood up. "Um, with time. Maybe you should go catch up to Rhiannon while I, um, recover."

"Eh," Liberty half-agreed as she began climbing the starting rope.

Louise, meanwhile, had just cleared the rope swing on her side of the tree as Virgil watched from the platform.

"Come on, Virgil! It's not hard," Louise encouraged.

Virgil spit out the gum he had been chewing, which landed in Dean's hair.

"Aw, man," Dean frowned as he tried pulling the gum out.

Virgil set up a running start before running up to the rope. He swung back and forth once before letting go on the second swing forward, joining Louise.

On Team I Don't Know's side of the tree, Roxie began coughing as she joined Elmer on the first platform of the rope swing.

"Er, are you good?" Elmer asked once the coughing died down.

"Peachy," Roxie responded.

"Fred, you can feel free to start whenever you want!" Elmer called down.

"Excuse me?" Roxie asked harshly. "You'd better not be implying that I need _his_ help."

"I think you both could help each other," Elmer said. "He can't see, you don't seem to be feeling well. Like it or not, we have a challenge to do, and I'd rather not end up in last place again."

"Where do I go from here?!" Fred called up as he stood on the first platform.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Things aren't looking good for us right now, but we've managed to get out of tougher scrapes than this. It's not over until it's over.

* * *

"Rhiannon has made it to the top for the Knights of Goodness, and Jeremy and Shadya have both made it for The Best Team!" Chris announced. "Although it looks like Louise is pretty close to the top. Can she make it without screwing something up?"

Louise finished climbing the last, long rope to the largest pink platform.

"Score one for the Lollipops!" Louise cheered. She took notice of Elmer standing just below his final rope. "Come on, babe! You can do it!"

"Not so loud..." Elmer pled under his breath.

By now, everyone had begun their ascent up the giant tree. Nestor looked at the jump between two platforms warily.

"Mm-mm. There is _no_ way I'm making that jump," Nestor said. "Not with this body."

"Come on, man," Steve Jenkins urged from the other side of the jump. "I get that you aren't a chiseled Adonis, like Steve Jenkins, but there's no way they'd make a jump that's impossible for you to clear."

Nestor looked unsure.

"You aren't trying to throw the challenge, are you?" Steve Jenkins accused. "What are your blog fans going to think?"

"I'll do it... for Paymeon!" Nestor decided with fire in his eyes. He started running and cleared the jump with ease.

On the Knights of Goodness' side, Liberty let out a deep yawn.

"On thy toes, Lady Liberty," Hildegard reminded. "Thou may sleep after we win."

"I know, I know. Thanks, Mom," Liberty snipped.

"Thy jeers are ineffective! I am fully aware that I would make an excellent maternal figure!" Hildegard insisted.

"Yeah, I'd love to explain to the other kids at school why my mom walks around dressed like that," Liberty remarked.

Dean and Wisdom had arrived at the first rope swing. Dean picked at the gum in his hair nervously.

"Why don't you worry about that after the challenge?" Wisdom suggested.

"What? I'm not stalling. What gave you that idea?" Dean laughed nervously.

Wisdom cocked her head to the side. "Are you waiting for me to go first so you can gauge the obstacle without the risk of hurting yourself?"

"...Yes?" Dean squeaked. "You're right, that's super selfish of me, I should just go."

"Dean, is that-" Wisdom could not finish before Dean jumped towards the rope, only able to grab on to the very end of it with one hand. "...a good idea?"

"If I stopped at every bad idea I had, I wouldn't do anything at all," Dean figured as he forced himself not to look down.

Roxie, meanwhile, had stopped to catch her breath, when Fred finally caught up to her.

"Are you smoking right now?" Fred asked in disbelief.

"No...?" Roxie asked.

"I smell smoke," Fred commented.

"So I've been smoking a bit more than usual today. So what?" Roxie asked defensively. "That's no one's business but my own." Roxie coughed.

"Roxie..." Bunko frowned as she joined the two. "You really should quit."

"Mind. Your own. Business," Roxie reiterated harshly. "I'm going on ahead. You two figure out how to catch up without me."

Roxie ran and jumped onto the rope swing, successfully making it to the other platform.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** I can't believe I just did that in front of Wisdom! She's going to think I'm such a loser. I mean, I am a loser, but she was probably the only person who didn't think so the instant she met me. Guess I Deaned it up once again, huh? _(He sighs.)_

* * *

Ginger, Gretchen, and Mark all sat at the base of the tree as the challenge went on.

"So. You're that amnesia kid, right?" Gretchen challenged Mark.

"I'd prefer not to be defined by it, but-" Mark began.

"You think just because you don't remember your past, it makes you more interesting?" Gretchen continued. "I'm onto you, buster. I'm the protagonist here. Don't forget that."

"Uh, duly noted," Mark complied.

"I don't get what the big deal is," Ginger commented. "Who wants to be a protagonist, anyway?"

"Is that what you tell yourself to cope with the fact that you'll always be a side character?" Gretchen scoffed. "Never anyone's closest friend, never the most important to any narrative?"

"Who's coping? I prefer that," Ginger smirked. "I'll get my fair share of recognition once my robot prototype reaches the 1.0 phase and I can release it to the public. Other than that, who wants to be constantly scrutinized all the time? That doesn't sound like fun to me."

"This all sounds like some kind of existential philosophy that I don't need to be thinking about," Mark chuckled.

"I bet your past isn't even that interesting," Gretchen commented.

"Honestly, in the long run, probably not," Mark admitted. "But the fact that I have literally no idea who I am or what I'm doing here makes it the most tantalizing knowledge in the world to me."

"And you're still not sure how you got amnesia?" Ginger asked.

"No clue," Mark admitted.

"Weird," Ginger said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Alright, so I ended up talking to those two anyway. They had something interesting to say, sue me.

* * *

"Elmer, Steve Jenkins, and Virgil have all made it to the top!" Chris announced. "The Best Team only has one more person still climbing. The Luscious Lollipops have two, while the Knights of Goodness and Team I Don't Know still have three. Better pick it up!"

"You can do it, Nestor!" Jeremy called down from the highest gold-painted platform.

"Bitch, I know. It's just gonna take some time," Nestor insisted as he slowly made his way up a rope.

"Ah! He called me a bitch," Jeremy frowned.

"I think Nestor has called everyone on this team a bitch at least once," Steve Jenkins told him. "Even me! Of all people! Outrageous!"

"Almost there!" Hildegard told her teammates as the three all made it to the final rope climb.

"Who wants to, um, go first?" Kun asked.

"Who else but our good team leader?" Hildegard said as she put her hand on Kun's shoulder.

"A-Are you referring to... um...?" Kun stammered in confusion.

"Aye. Lead the way," Hildegard nodded.

"W-W-Well, in that case, what, um, choice do I have?" Kun smiled as he began climbing.

"So you finally gave up on the whole 'team leader' thing, huh?" Liberty asked Hildegard.

"Har! Hardly. 'Twas naught but a ruse, to instill a false sense of security in him," Hildegard told her.

"You really are the epitome of Lawful Good," Liberty snarked.

"Shush," Hildegard shot back.

Dean continued his way through the platform course with Wisdom tailing behind. He began running up some treacherous stairs.

"Dean, are you sure you should be climbing those so quickly?" Wisdom brought up.

Dean did not respond.

"Dean?" Wisdom asked.

Dean ignored the girl as he pressed forward.

"Dean, why aren't you talking to me?" Wisdom frowned.

"Focus on the challenge," Dean told himself as he jumped across a few platforms. "Don't let her lay into you until after it's over. You know how you get, Dean. You'll just get upset and distracted and lose it for everyone."

Bunko and Fred, meanwhile, continued on their way.

"Alright, Fred, this one's going to be tough," Bunko warned. "It's another one of those swinging ropes."

"Aw, those ain't nothing," Fred boasted. "I did the first one and only really scraped my elbow when I stuck the landing."

"I think that's still more bleeding than anyone else this challenge," Bunko pointed out.

"If you ain't bleeding, you ain't learning," Fred insisted.

"Have I been doing school all wrong, then?" Bunko gasped.

"Who knows?" Fred wondered.

"Whoaaaa," Bunko said in awe.

"Just point me in the right direction of the rope, chief," Fred told Bunko.

Bunko turned Fred's body in the right direction.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Were that Liberty a real fan of tabletop roleplaying games, she would know that petty alignments are not rigid, and are merely a ballpark under which your character's actions may fall. Tch.

* * *

"Kun and Roxie have made it for their respective teams!" Chris announced. "And... oh, it looks like... yep, Nestor has made it, too, securing yet another first place win for The Best Team!"

Jeremy, Nestor, and Steve Jenkins all cheered from atop their team's platform. Shadya gave a satisfied nod.

"The other three teams all have two people still yet to make it," Chris continued. "It's on you guys if your team royally screws up! Hehaha."

"Hurry thyself, Lady Liberty!" Hildegard hounded as the girls made their way up the rope.

"I have no upper body strength," Liberty whined.

"And I am wearing armor! Thy excuses are meaningless!" Hildegard said.

Liberty rolled her eyes.

Dean focused intently as he readied himself for another cross-platform jump.

"Don't screw this up, don't screw this up, don't screw this up..." Dean repeated quietly.

"Dean...?" Wisdom prompted as she caught up to him.

Dean screwed it up, hesitating for a bit and undershooting his jump, causing him to fall down to a lower platform.

Wisdom gasped.

"Ignore him! Focus on the challenge!" Virgil called down to the girl.

Wisdom looked unsure but ultimately decided to continue on her way up the tree.

Bunko and Fred made it to the final rope, the latter with various cuts and scrapes.

"Are you sure you don't want to wait until I've started climbing?" Bunko asked. "You look exhausted."

"It wouldn't be a challenge if I wasn't," Fred panted. "I... I got this."

Fred gripped onto the rope and began slowly hoisting himself up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I wish Fred wouldn't push himself so hard. I'm afraid he could end up getting seriously hurt if he keeps forcing himself.

* * *

"Fred, Hildegard, Liberty, and Wisdom have all made it!" Chris announced. "This marks the Knights of Goodness as our second place winners! It's all down to Bunko and Dean."

Bunko had already begun her ascent of the rope, slowly pulling her heavy body up. Dean had just arrived at the final rope and started climbing as quickly as he could.

"You got this, B!" Fred called down to his teammate.

"Hurry up, Dean!" Virgil called down to his.

The two contestants struggled to make their way to the top first, but ultimately, one of them succeeded seconds before the other.

"And that's that!" Chris announced. "In third place..."

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"Team I Don't Know!" Chris announced. "Meaning that the Luscious Lollipops will be voting someone out tonight."

"Good luck," Elmer mouthed to Louise when he was sure only she could see him.

Louise gave a sad smile.

"So... wait, how are we going to get back down?" Kun wondered.

"Carefully," Chris chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** How the _hell_ did we pull that off?

* * *

The nineteen contestants gathered once again at the base of the tree.

"A valiant effort, contestants!" Chris said. "Now, as far as rewards go... you guys will find out about that tomorrow. But congratulations are in order anyway for The Best Team and the Knights of Goodness."

"Congratulate me when I've done something difficult," Shadya smirked.

"Oh, and before I dismiss you guys!" Chris remembered. "Rhiannon! I got a call from production during the challenge. If you don't take that thing off, you're going to be expelled from the competition. With that said, have a good night, contestants. Luscious Lollipops, I'll be seeing you guys later."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** _(She is not wearing her luxury item.)_ I'll be honest, I was just trying to see how long I could get away with wearing that thing. I lasted a lot longer than I thought I would. _(She winks.)_

 **Gretchen:** I guess it just goes to show how valuable of a protagonist I really am. At any rate, it'll be nice to finally get rid of someone annoying.

* * *

After everyone had returned to their respective camps, Gretchen, Louise, and Virgil sat around the campfire at theirs.

"So yeah, I meant what I said in the past," Gretchen said. "About being totally willing to vote out Wisdom with you two."

"No shit?" Virgil asked. "Honestly, I'm totally down to vote her out."

"I suppose that would be the safest option right now," Louise figured.

"That's the struggle of having such a small team," Gretchen said. "But I'll be real. I like both of you, and I would be willing to work with you in the future. Better than those other two, that's for damn sure."

"Heh. Can't argue with that," Virgil chuckled as he opened a box of gumdrops.

"Jim said something about her tricking him, and that being the reason he got voted out," Louise recalled. "We can't underestimate her."

"Exactly!" Gretchen declared. "Who's to say she won't go behind all of our backs and trick us like that? She puts on that air of being all clueless, but we all know how it really is."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Virgil said with a mouthful of gumdrops.

"Awesome. And if anyone asks, you're voting for Dean, as one reasonably would," Gretchen decided.

"Right, they won't suspect anything if we say we're voting Dean," Louise understood.

"Sounds like a deal," Virgil smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** The wellbeing of everyone on this team depends on me, just as it should be. Louise and Virgil are an obvious duo, and Dean and Wisdom are an obvious duo. They all _need_ my vote, so they should all be willing to listen to me, or else they risk losing my vote.

 **Louise:** I try to look on the positive side of things, so picking anyone to vote for doesn't really come naturally to me. I guess it's a good thing that Gretchen and Virgil are more inclined in that department, otherwise, I'd honestly have no idea what to do

* * *

Wisdom sat alone on the beach, looking bereft.

"Wisdom?" Dean began as he approached the girl. "You can start yelling at me now."

Wisdom did not respond.

"Oh, I get it. You're ignoring me because I ignored you earlier. I guess that's fair," Dean accepted. "Well, keep in mind what I said before. I won't be mad if you vote me out."

"Why are you so obsessed with yourself?!" Wisdom snapped.

"Oh, so you are going to yell at me," Dean said.

"How come you only ever think about and talk about your own failures?" Wisdom continued. "Are you just playing a martyr game? Calling attention to your own shortcomings so people come to expect it from you? So you don't consider yourself a disappointment?"

"I..." Dean mustered. "I should have seen this coming."

"Do you honestly believe you're the only one who feels insecure?" Wisdom ranted. "Do you _genuinely_ think that you're the only one who gets hung up on their failures? Did it ever even occur to you that, maybe instead of getting people to feel sorry for you, you could just move past your little blunders? Do you really think that people care that much about you?"

"Nobody cares about me, Wisdom!" Dean cried.

"So you're just trying to make them care by making yourself look weak?" Wisdom asked.

"I am weak, Wisdom," Dean choked.

Wisdom sighed. She stood up and walked away, not even looking at Dean.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Can Dean even realize that he's not the only one with feelings? Is he the only person he thinks about? ...Doesn't he realize that he... hurts others...?

 **Dean:** That's the angriest I've ever seen Wisdom. I must have really upset her. I really do deserve to go home tonight.

* * *

Louise and Virgil had gone off to the forest to forage.

"So, we agree that what Sour Grapes was saying is total BS, right?" Virgil mentioned.

"You think so?" Louise asked.

"Think about it, Licorice," Virgil said. "She said she likes us both and wants to work with us. That is absolutely not true. She can't stand us, and she's made no secret of that. She's just trying to trick us."

"Yeah, but Gretchen doesn't like anyone," Louise mentioned.

"She likes herself," Virgil chuckled. "My point is, we don't have to listen to her ass. We can plan our own move."

"Ooh, that sounds neat," Louise smiled. "Any ideas?"

"I've put some thought into it," Virgil said proudly. "Hear me out. We get Dean and/or Strawberry to vote out Sour Grapes with us."

"I actually way prefer that over voting for Wisdom," Louise nodded. "I've tried to get along with Gretchen, but I don't think it's working."

"See, she doesn't have nearly as much power as she thinks she does," Virgil smirked. "Say, do you think if we vote out our little protagonist, that'll make us the new protagonists?"

"That's more of an Elmer question," Louise admitted. "He likes that kind of smart thing. I like playing football."

"My point is, I think this is our night," Virgil said.

"Hell yeah!" Louise cheered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Gretchen's not the only one on this team who knows what the hell strategy is. Of course, there's no guarantee that Dean or Strawberry will go along with the plan. Frankly, I'm not expecting Dean to at all. But how do you expect to blow a world-record-sized bubble gum bubble without chewing some bubble gum, am I right?

 **Louise:** I'd never thought about asking Dean or Wisdom to work with us before. After they voted Jim out, it was easy to see them as the opposing alliance, even though I've done what I can to be friendly to them. But I'm optimistic about this vote.

* * *

Gretchen gathered Dean and Wisdom to a different part of the forest.

"Alright, you two. I've got Louise and Virgil thinking I'm going to vote with them, but that's obviously not what I'm going to do," Gretchen began. She noticed the two looking awkward. "What's with you two?"

"Look, Gretchen, I appreciate you not voting me out the first chance you got, but I want you to vote for me tonight," Dean said. "I already asked Wisdom. I don't deserve to be here."

"Shut up, Dean. We're voting for Louise tonight," Gretchen shot down.

"Louise?" Wisdom asked.

"Yeah, don't think I've forgotten about the fact that she's already on the path to be the alpha couple of the season with Elmer," Gretchen scoffed. "I'm not having _any_ of that."

Wisdom looked like she was about to say something, but she glanced briefly at Dean and refrained from speaking.

"And Dean, I swear to God, if you vote for yourself tonight and screw this all up, I will make the remainder of your time in this game a living hell," Gretchen added. "I don't care about your low self-esteem arc. Now is not the time for that. At least save it for mid-season."

"Y-Yes ma'am," Dean reluctantly agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** All the greatest heroes in history got what they wanted by being assertive. Even the peaceful ones were passive-aggressively assertive or something. My point is, I am the hero this season deserves.

 **Dean:** Louise found me right before the vote and told me about a plan to vote out Gretchen. I guess I can't really convince the others to vote me out. ...Man, I'm such a screw-up that I can't even get people to vote me out if I want them to.

* * *

Night had fallen, and Dean, Gretchen, Louise, Virgil, and Wisdom all met up with Chris at the ceremonial campfire.

"Luscious Lollipops, it's been a while," Chris began. "You guys managed to go four whole rounds without losing a challenge after Jim left. Gretchen, do you think Jim was holding the team back?"

"Absolutely not. If anything, the team is physically weaker without him," Gretchen answered. "But that's all in the past. Anything can change over time."

"Virgil, what significant changes have you noticed?" Chris inquired.

"Well, with only five of us kind of forced to work together, the relationships between us have gotten stronger, for better or worse," Virgil answered.

"Louise, is that going to make tonight's vote tougher?" Chris wondered.

"I mean, I had enough trouble voting for someone in our first vote," Louise admitted. "Spending even more time with these guys isn't making the voting aspect any easier, but that's the game I signed up for."

"Dean, how important is tonight's vote to the future of the game?" Chris asked.

"I mean, if you really think about it, every vote changes the future of the game in some way," Dean answered. "Every time someone goes home, anything they could have added to the social dynamics is gone for good, and what everyone else may bring is still a part of the game."

"Could you have answered that in a lamer way?" Chris remarked. "Wisdom, do you have any wisdom to impart before the vote?"

"Do you have any Chris to impart before the vote?" Wisdom asked.

"There's always some Chris to be imparted," Chris said as he rubbed his chest with his knuckle. "But for now, let's begin the vote. Louise, you're up."

Louise stood up and made her way to the confessional booth.

* * *

After everyone had voted, Chris presented a platter with four marshmallows on it.

"You guys have done this before. If you don't get a marshmallow, it means you've been voted out, baby!" Chris said. "The first marshmallow goes to... Dean!"

"Virgil!"

"...Wisdom!"

Gretchen and Louise glanced at each other knowingly.

"And the final marshmallow goes to..."

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"Gretchen!" Chris finally announced.

Louise's mouth fell open and her eyes went wide.

"I told you, sweetie. There's only one protagonist in this game," Gretchen said, her voice dripping with honey.

"Is that seriously what this is about?" Louise asked, offended.

"I mean, it was going to be you or Virgil either way," Gretchen said innocently. "Bringing your boy toy to the game just made that decision a lot easier."

"Neither of us even knew the other had signed up!" Louise cried.

"Well, a relationship should have better communication," Gretchen said smugly.

"As hilarious as separating a couple is to me, it's about time we speed this up," Chris said. "Louise, say your peace now and get going down the Dock of Shame."

"I just hope you guys are happy," Louise said to Dean and Wisdom. "I hope the time we spent together meant nothing to you."

Dean sighed. Wisdom did not emote.

"Later, Licorice. You were tight," Virgil said.

"Later, Virgil. You were tight, too," Louise said before making her way towards the Dock of Shame.

Louise boarded the Boat of Losers, and the seacraft drove off.

"Welp, against all odds, you four are still in the game," Chris told the remaining Luscious Lollipops. "But how long will that still be the case? You guys can head back to camp."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Well, ain't that just the bee's freaking knees. Two eliminations and both of my allies are gone. Meanwhile, those other three are somehow still in the game. But if they think I'm not going to fight my ass off to stick around, they've got another thing coming. _(He shoves a cherry lollipop in his mouth.)_

* * *

Chris stood on the Dock of Shame.

"As we come to the end of the chapter of the game that was Whenua Island, I think anything can happen going forward," Chris said. "What were the rewards that The Best Team and the Knights of Goodness won? What will the very first shuffle of the season entail? What awaits our contestants... on Kairi Island? And who will be the first to fall prey to it? The answers to these questions will definitely come, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Virgil:** As tempting as voting Strawberry out sounds, voting out Sour Grapes just sounds that much sweeter.

 **Gretchen:** Would it be fair to say I'd planned this from the beginning when I dragged Louise onto this team with me? Who cares if it's fair, that's what I'm claiming happened! Louise, your time is up!

 **Louise:** I like the sound of this Gretchen vote. She's been nothing but rude to everyone on this team from the very beginning, and I think it's time she got knocked down a peg.

 **Dean:** Well, I don't want Gretchen to make the rest of my time in the game a living hell. Sorry, Louise. You're nice and all, but I had to vote for someone.

 **Wisdom:** How does Gretchen get Dean to listen to her? What am I lacking, such that he won't listen to me? And, well, how can I ask her if I vote her out as Virgil wants? Why not stay on her better side... by voting for Louise?

* * *

 _A/N: Louise's elimination had always been in a weird state of limbo. During the early planning stages, I was actually going to have her as the first boot, but I ultimately felt that she offered more than Jim did, so I bumped her elimination forward to being the first elimination of the next island, but, as I wrote this episode, it just made more and more sense to me to let her go now. Certainly, Elmer's going to have something to say about it when he finds out what happened._

 _As for Louise as a character, sometimes you just need a token positive character on a team to keep things from getting too negative. I'll admit that she was never the deepest or most entertaining character of the bunch, but not everyone can be, and not everyone needs to be. That's how superlative adjectives work, I guess. I liked writing her, but I don't think I'm going to miss writing her too terribly now that she's gone. What did you guys think about Louise?_


	9. Coconuts Are Underrated

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the Dock of Shame. "In our last episode, Hiram's antics at elimination made some waves, and Bunko found herself struggling to catch up to her teammates after voting in the minority. Dean kept on blundering at camp, to the point where he told Wisdom he wouldn't even be mad if she voted him out. Rhiannon had some fun with her luxury item, and, as such, was not really featured in our last episode. Shadya still seems to be struggling with the whole 'emotions' thing, since she definitely isn't jealous about Jeremy's friendship with Rowan despite Rowan being long gone. Hehaha. Classic teen drama.

"The challenge saw the contestants making use of that giant tree in the center of the island. We'd placed all sorts of platforms and ropes to help the ascent. Didn't stop a couple of them from taking some nasty falls, though. The Best Team, as they tend to do, took an easy first place, and the Knights of Goodness managed to pull off a pretty good second. The Luscious Lollipops nearly had it, but Dean choked during the challenge, sending the team back to elimination!

"Gretchen attempted to play both sides of the team, making a deal with Louise and Virgil to vote out Wisdom and making a deal with Dean and Wisdom to vote out Louise. Virgil smelled something fishy, though, and set up a move of his own to blindside Gretchen herself, with help from Dean and/or Wisdom. It didn't work out, however, and Louise saw herself on the business end of the Dock of Shame that night.

"How will things shake out today? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The eighteen contestants gathered at the giant oak tree to meet with Chris.

"Contestants!" Chris greeted. "First thing's first: winning teams, as you can see, Louise was voted out in last night's elimination!"

"What?!" Elmer barked. He glared maliciously at the four remaining Luscious Lollipops. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?!"

"Elmer, it's okay," Bunko comforted.

"More importantly, it's a little early for a challenge," Nestor pointed out.

"Who said we were having a challenge?" Chris asked. "It's time to bring out the ol' 'Shuffle' part of 'Shuffle Party'!"

This sparked murmurs amongst the contestants.

"I was wondering when that would happen," Rhiannon said.

"About time, I'd say," Gretchen added.

"So what does shuffling entail?" Shadya asked.

"Follow me to the Dock of Shame and I'll show you," Chris said as he began walking off.

The contestants saw no reason not to follow him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** This could not have come at a better time. I'm still not entirely sure what "shuffling" means in this game, but I could use some change right about now.

 **Elmer:** What reason could there possibly be to vote out Louise, especially so early? I knew this was going to happen. As soon as she announced to everyone that we were dating, I knew it was going to bite us in the ass. Damn it!

* * *

As soon as everyone saw the Dock of Shame, it was apparent what Chris meant. Parked at the Dock was a boat large enough to carry everyone present.

"Are we about to go to one of those other islands?" Wisdom asked.

"Indeed we are, Wisdom," Chris confirmed. "Each shuffle will involve traveling to another new island."

"Yes! My thirst for adventure will continuously be quenched!" Jeremy cheered.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Chris asked. "Get on the boat so we can get this going!"

The contestants all ran for the Dock of Shame and up the ramp of the boat.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Lord be good, I have survived in this game long enough to have seen the first shuffle! The first big step towards victory!

 **Shadya:** What happens next is irrelevant. I will continue to emerge victorious in whatever endeavors may await me.

* * *

Once everyone had boarded the boat, it began speeding towards one of the neighboring islands.

"Yeah! Riding boats kicks ass!" Fred cheered from the upper deck.

"I'm totally buying a boat after I win this game!" Steve Jenkins agreed.

"Hell yeah, fam!" Fred whooped.

"Tch. Boys," Roxie commented from another part of the deck as she lit a cigarette.

"Tell me about it," Ginger told her.

"Try being Fred's seeing-eye dog and then having him get mad at you for it," Roxie scoffed.

"Try living with Steve Jenkins," Ginger countered.

"Fair point," Roxie conceded.

Gretchen, meanwhile, approached Nestor.

"So. Still trying to be relevant?" Gretchen asked.

"Not all of us need to try, honey," Nestor boasted. "I will say, though, I'm impressed that you managed to survive two eliminations."

"Yeah, and I didn't even have to vote out my allies to do so," Gretchen clipped. "Oh, wait, you didn't even have to do that, did you?"

"Ginger! What did you tell this girl yesterday?" Nestor accused as he called across the deck and marched towards the roboticist.

Gretchen snickered to herself.

Mark leaned on the railing of the boat when Rhiannon approached him.

"Nice to finally meet you. I'm Rhiannon," she greeted.

"Oh, hey," Mark greeted back.

"I've been looking forward to talking to you," Rhiannon said.

"About my amnesia, I presume?" Mark asked.

"Well, I was wondering if you remember anything about your sexuality," Rhiannon said.

"I haven't put a lot of thought into that particular subject, I'm afraid," Mark admitted. "And I'm not interested in your help exploring it, either."

"Your lack of knowledge on it is still interesting," Rhiannon giggled.

* * *

Down in the lower deck, Elmer marched up to Dean.

"Hey, you were on the Luscious Lollipops, right?" Elmer asked.

"Yeah. I'm Dean, nice to meet-"

"So you voted out Louise, didn't you?" Elmer accused.

"O-Only because... well... we weren't allies," Dean admitted. "I have nothing against her, I swear!"

Elmer took a deep breath. "I won't forget this. Don't forget that."

"Honestly, most people get mad at me for one reason or another. It might be easy to lose track," Dean said.

Kun and Shadya both drank something from the mini bar.

"If my memory serves, and it always does, you're the boy who wants to lead his team," Shadya pointed out.

"That's, um, me," Kun confirmed. "Kun is my name."

"I just wanted to warn you in advance," Shadya said. "Should this 'shuffle' involve new teams, and we end up on the same team, I will be leading the team."

"Well, um, I have dealt with far, um, angrier opposition than you," Kun said.

Kun glanced at Hildegard, who had been lecturing Virgil, who had been eating candy.

"How canst thou indulge thyself in sweets?!" Hildegard asked. "Thou hast no way of brushing thy teeth! Thy teeth will rot!"

Virgil shrugged as he put another Milk Dud in his mouth.

"Cease thy eating! I know those particular sweets take a spectacularly long time to chew!" Hildegard accused. "Thou art avoiding confrontation with me!"

Virgil simply nodded as he walked away.

Hildegard growled in frustration.

Bunko and Jeremy looked out a window together.

"Hey, how did things work out with Shadya?" Bunko asked.

"Not too well," Jeremy admitted.

"Aw," Bunko frowned. "Do you think she's a bad person?"

"I wouldn't say that. She's just... I don't know," Jeremy admitted. "How about you? You were friends with Hiram, right? Are you feeling any better since he left?"

"Yeah..." Bunko said. "I don't really want to talk about that night."

"I hear you loud and clear," Jeremy said understandingly.

Wisdom sat next to a sleeping Liberty in the corner of the room.

"What drives you to slumber so?" Wisdom mused. "Are your dreams such a better alternative to reality? What can the rest of us do to improve our own dreams? Should we? Will we all end up sleeping when we should be awake?"

Liberty snored.

"What depths do you hide?" Wisdom wondered.

* * *

The boat docked at a new Dock of Shame, this one more of a long upward incline than the previous one. As the contestants made their way up the Dock, they eventually found themselves on a huge circular platform that was held above the water by a thick metal pole. The platform was surrounded by a small rocky cape which looked to have two sets of bleachers installed on either side and a giant screen that faced opposite the Dock.

"What a strange place," Rhiannon commented.

"Welcome, contestants, to Kairi Island! The island of water's dominance!" Chris announced. "With each shuffle and each new island, comes a huge difference in the way the game is played."

"And this island is no exception, I imagine," Mark figured.

"Right you are!" Chris confirmed. "On this island, you will be split into two teams of nine. When I summon you guys here - this will be our meeting spot, by the way - you guys will go straight into the vote."

"Wait, we're voting without a challenge?" Dean asked. "Does that mean no more Invincibility?!"

"Be patient and I'll explain, Dean," Chris said impatiently.

Dean hung his head.

"As I was saying, both teams will partake in a vote," Chris continued. "The people who get the most votes on each team will participate in a duel. The loser of the duel will be officially eliminated from Total Drama Shuffle Party. The winner of the duel will remain in the game and will be able to choose which of the two teams they will return to camp with."

"'Camp', you say?" Wisdom asked.

"Yep. What, did you guys think you were going to get cabins just because it was a new island?" Chris laughed. "Yes, you'll have to set up camp."

"Do the rewards that, um, the Knights of Goodness and The Best Team won involve carrying over rewards from the previous island?" Kun inquired.

"I was just about to get to that," Chris said. "If you guys will turn your attention to the big screen."

The screen began displaying images of the former members of The Best Team and the Knights of Goodness.

"We will be randomly selecting one member from each of these teams," Chris said. "Those two will begin the schoolyard pick for our new teams."

The pictures of the contestants shuffled together and split into two pictures, which began rapidly cycling through the potential choices. The pictures settled on displaying Steve Jenkins and Rhiannon.

"Steve Jenkins and Rhiannon!" Chris announced. "Step forward. You guys will begin the team pick!"

"Sounds about right," Steve Jenkins grinned.

"Cool," Rhiannon smiled.

"Steve Jenkins: first place winner. Start by picking a girl who wasn't on your old team," Chris said.

"Man, I totally would have picked Rhiannon, too," Steve Jenkins griped. "How about the girl with the neat mask?"

"I'm going to assume that means Roxie," Chris said.

Roxie sighed as she joined Steve Jenkins, and her picture appeared next to the Steve Jenkins picture on the screen.

"Rhiannon, pick a boy, not from your original team," Chris carried on.

Rhiannon looked over her options. "Jeremy, right? You're on my team!"

"I will gladly accompany you!" Jeremy declared as he joined her, as did his picture on the screen.

"Roxie, pick a boy who wasn't on your team," Chris instructed.

"Literally how do I choose?" Roxie muttered as she looked at the boys. Her eyes settled on Virgil. "Eh, you'll do."

"Most people call me Virgil, but okay," Virgil smirked.

"Jeremy, pick a girl who wasn't on your team," Chris said. "Are you seeing the pattern?"

"Not from my team? I choose Bunko!" Jeremy decided.

"Yay!" Bunko clapped.

"It's my turn, right?" Virgil asked. "A girl who wasn't on the Lollipops... Ginger seems alright. She can join."

"I think you'll find I'm more than alright," Ginger said as she joined him.

"Hmmm..." Bunko looked at the boys who weren't on Team I Don't Know. Only Dean, Kun, and Nestor remained. "I choose Kwan!"

"It's, um, Kun, actually," Kun corrected as he joined her. "With a letter U."

"I guess I'll pick Mark," Ginger figured.

"I appreciate it," Mark said with a small smile.

"Wisdom, you're, um, with us," Kun decided.

"Why me over the other options?" Wisdom asked.

"Gretchen and Shadya scare me a little," Kun admitted quietly.

"If I have to pick, I guess I'll pick Gretchen," Mark figured.

"A wise decision," Gretchen said.

"My options are Elmer, Fred, and Nestor, correct?" Wisdom asked. "How am I meant to pick between people I've never met?"

"Quickly, that's how," Chris said testily.

"Elmer, why not?" Wisdom decided.

"I've got my eye on you," Elmer warned.

"Nestor! You're over here!" Gretchen announced.

"You bitch," Nestor teased.

"Shadya, you've been waiting for too long," Elmer decided.

"No kidding," Shadya huffed as she joined him.

Nestor looked at the two remaining girls: Hildegard and Liberty.

"Liberty!" Nestor chose.

"Surely thou jest!" Hildegard objected.

"Whuh?" Liberty forced herself awake.

Shadya looked at the two remaining boys: Dean and Fred.

"And I choose Fred," Shadya stated.

"Hell yeah!" Fred cheered.

"That figures," Dean said.

"That means that, by default, Dean will be on Steve Jenkins' team, and Hildegard will be on Rhiannon's team," Chris said.

"Do I get to name my team now?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"Sorry, bud. The team names have been predetermined for this island," Chris chuckled.

Above the cluster of pictures including Dean, Ginger, Gretchen, Liberty, Mark, Nestor, Roxie, Steve Jenkins, and Virgil, bright yellow text reading "Brilliant Beaches" appeared. Above the cluster of pictures including Bunko, Elmer, Fred, Hildegard, Jeremy, Kun, Rhiannon, Shadya, and Wisdom, dark blue text reading "Tough Tundras" appeared.

"Now, going back to what Kun asked before..." Chris led in. "The Brilliant Beaches will get what's left of all the first-place rewards from Whenua Island. The Tough Tundras will get what's left of all the second-place rewards. That should make things a little bit easier for you guys. Who says I'm not a generous host?"

"That huge screen could probably pay for some cheap cabins, I'm just saying," Nestor pointed out.

"Quiet, you," Chris scolded.

Two long bridges extended from the sets of bleachers to the platform.

"Follow these paths to your new camps," Chris instructed. "Oh, and our first elimination will be taking place tonight!"

"So soon?!" Bunko gasped.

"The game's been going on for a while. You guys should be prepared to play," Chris chuckled. "That said, you guys are dismissed."

The teams went down their respective paths towards their new camps.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Great, my alliance-mates both ended up on the other team. I knew the game was going to get tougher as it went on, but this is a little abrupt, don't you think?

 **Mark:** It's easy to take what you have for granted, it seems. I was really starting to get used to the Team I Don't Know camp and the others there. It felt like home, dare I say it.

 **Fred:** Yeah, I don't remember who all's on my team, but I'll figure it out eventually. I think it was Shadya who picked me? And I know Elmer picked Shadya. See, I got this.

 **Wisdom:** Am I the only one to end up on a team with none of my prior teammates? Or, no, did Liberty as well? Will this spell the end for me? Well, I got by in my first two votes, didn't I? _(She smiles.)_

* * *

The Brilliant Beaches followed the beaten path before them towards camp.

"Follow me, Team Steve Jenkins, to yet greater heights!" Steve Jenkins declared.

"He's going to keep calling the team that the entire time, isn't he?" Roxie sighed to Mark.

"I barely know him, but yeah, I can't imagine he won't," Mark chuckled.

"This team will suck, huh? Things were easier before. Er, relatively," Roxie mused.

"Well, we still have each other," Mark said.

"That makes it sound way more intimate than it actually is," Roxie winced.

"Oh. Sorry," Mark chuckled.

"Those two _could_ not be more obvious," Nestor remarked to Virgil.

"No kidding," Virgil smirked. "You're game-smart, right? Cooking up a plan?"

"Is that an offer?" Nestor winked.

"Well, I'm certainly not sticking with _my_ old teammates," Virgil pointed out.

"Hurry up, Dean! We're not going to wait for you, so if you get lost, it's your own fault!" Gretchen called back to Dean, who was far behind the rest of the pack.

"S-Sorry!" Dean apologized as he tried catching up.

"Even Liberty isn't as far behind as you are. Come on!" Gretchen pointed out exasperatedly.

"I'm just biding my time until we get to camp," Liberty yawned.

"Uh, no, you're going to help set up camp just like everyone else," Ginger told her.

"Eeeuuuurrrggghhh..." Liberty groaned.

"How on Earth did she survive two votes?" Ginger asked herself.

"I guess I'm just that good," Liberty sneered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** I guess being on a new team with Mark beats being on a new team with nobody familiar. Barely.

 **Nestor:** You know what, I think I'm going to be just fine out here. _(He snaps his fingers confidently.)_

* * *

The Tough Tundras, meanwhile, made their own way to their own camp.

"Come, all, let us yodel through the fjords on our excursion!" Jeremy encouraged. "Ah-yee-yodel-ee-ee-hee-yodel-ee-ee-hee-yodel-ee-heeeeeeeeee!"

"Is it getting colder?" Wisdom pointed out.

"I think so," Rhiannon said.

"Hm, are we going to have to set up camp at an actual tundra as the team name implies?" Wisdom frowned.

"I guess we'll just have to huddle up against each other for warmth," Rhiannon figured.

"Can someone as small as I am really warm anyone?" Wisdom wondered.

"You can warm our hearts, sweetheart," Rhiannon winked.

Wisdom winced.

"I can't believe she just voted out Louise," Elmer told Fred quietly as he glared at Wisdom.

"Who?" Fred asked.

"Wisdom," Elmer explained. "Dean told me everything on the boat ride over here, about what happened last night."

"I mean, we could always vote her out," Fred pointed out.

"And I plan to," Elmer said firmly. "First, though, we'll need more allies."

"What about Bunko? She's on this team, right?" Fred asked.

Elmer glanced at Bunko, who had been drawing a caricature of Kun as she walked.

"We'll see," Elmer told Fred.

"Are you sure that's, um, safe?" Kun asked Bunko. "Shouldn't you be, um, paying attention to where you're going?"

"Please. I've been caricaturing for years and years," Bunko said proudly. "I know how to walk and draw at the same time."

"You're walking backward," Kun pointed out.

"Well, yeah, how else am I supposed to see your face for reference?" Bunko pouted.

"Just, um, be careful," Kun warned. "I don't want anyone getting hurt under my, um, leadership."

"Tch. He still fancies himself a leader," Hildegard scoffed to Shadya.

"He will learn his place soon enough," Shadya stated.

"I wish thee luck," Hildegard said. "I have had none such, and not for lack of trying, believest me."

"I do not require abstract concepts such as luck," Shadya leered. "Everything I have accomplished has been earned through my own skill and talent."

"Are skill and talent not abstract?" Hildegard said.

"Don't test me," Shadya threatened.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** Where will our path take us, and what awaits us in the future? There's only one way to find out, and it's by moving onward! To greater heights!

 **Bunko:** Let's see, I still need to get caricatures of Rhiannon, Wisdom, and Shadya. Plus a bunch of people on the Brilliant Beaches, but I can do that later.

* * *

The Brilliant Beaches had arrived at their new campsite: a large, sprawling beach with several tropical fruit-bearing trees. The contestants decided to split up and work on setting up camp. Mark and Roxie had gone off to retrieve building materials for the shelter.

"We just made a shelter. Why do we have to make another one?" Roxie griped.

"That's the game, I suppose," Mark figured as he used an ax to cut down a palm tree. "Nine people working on it should make things a lot easier."

"I can't argue that," Roxie conceded. "That's still a lot of people... that we have to meet."

"It won't be as bad as you think it is," Mark smiled.

"You two! I don't hate you," Ginger greeted as she walked up to the two.

"Are you here to help us, or just to bother us?" Roxie sighed as she and Mark lifted up several palm logs on either end.

"Here, I'll help carry these if you're going to be a bitch about it," Ginger offered as she held up the middle portion of the logs.

"So hey, not that I'm complaining, but why did you approach us?" Mark asked Ginger.

"Well, as I said, I don't hate you two," Ginger said. "But do you know who I do hate? Nestor and Steve Jenkins. You know, the ones from The Best Team who made it over here. So I'm wondering if you guys had room for three in your totally-not-obvious alliance. Obviously, we'll need more than three if we want a clear majority, but let's take baby steps here."

"I like that mindset. I can see this working out. Do you agree, Mark?" Roxie asked.

"I'm down for it," Mark agreed. "Pleased to work with you. Ginger, right?"

"And don't you forget it," Ginger said proudly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I talked to Mark a bit when we both sat out of yesterday's challenge, and I talked to Roxie a bit on the boat ride over to the new island. I don't trust either of them with my life or anything, but I can see them being good game allies. For now.

 **Roxie:** So now there are three. Someone lost from their elites... and two more outcasts. But that won't suffice. Three of us when nine compete. Sadly we'll need more.

 **Mark:** It's strange, but I feel a sense of familiarity with Ginger. Maybe her wit reminds me of Roxie's. Well, if it means they get along, then that certainly works for me.

* * *

The Tough Tundras, incidentally, had also arrived at their camp. As their team name suggested, their camp was a frosty tundra, with plenty of pine trees and berry bushes. The members of this team split up to begin work on camp as well. Bunko, Fred, and Jeremy had gone out in search of food.

"Though the climes may be harsher, our chances of survival are not!" Jeremy declared. "I've camped in tougher elements. We'll be just fine."

"I hope so," Bunko said with concern.

"It isn't even as cold as I thought it'd be," Fred sniffed. "Your boy ain't even shivering."

"You know what? I like this," Bunko decided. "Hanging out with you guys. It's nice."

"Hell yeah!" Fred whooped.

"Are you proposing an alliance?" Jeremy asked Bunko.

"I don't really care if we make it official or not," Bunko admitted. "All I know is I'd love for us to stick together."

"Yeah, maybe we could get Elmer and Shadya in on it, too," Fred suggested. "That's a five-out-of-nine majority, right?"

"I'm not entirely sure I want to keep working with Shadya," Jeremy admitted. "Although she may not give me a choice."

"You _always_ have a choice, Jeremy! Your life is in your hands!" Bunko said passionately.

"You still haven't really met Shadya, have you?" Jeremy asked with a resigned laugh.

"No, but from what you've told me about her, I don't think I want to work with her anyway," Bunko huffed.

"Chill, brah, we've still got time to figure this all out," Fred told her. "We just got to camp. I still haven't even met everyone on the team."

"Fred's right. We don't need to make plans for a dominating alliance right away," Jeremy agreed. "Let's just focus on getting camp set up for now."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I haven't known Jeremy for very long, but it sounds like Shadya's been treating him pretty badly, and I won't stand for it! He deserves better.

 **Jeremy:** I'm flattered that Bunko's so concerned about me, but it's really not as big of a deal as she seems to think it is. I still think she's cool, though, and I'm good to work with her and Fred.

 **Fred:** If you want this guy's opinion: the berries out here are nowhere near as good as the coconuts back on the other island. Coconuts are underrated, dawg.

* * *

Steve Jenkins stood at the shore, watching his teammates hard at work.

"Ah, this is how it should be," Steve Jenkins said, satisfied. "A group of people working their tails off for the benefit of Steve Jenkins."

"Hey! Steve Jenkins! What are you doing?" Gretchen asked as she approached the boy, dragging several large palm fronds.

"Watching my team set up camp," Steve Jenkins said proudly.

"For the last time, just because you were randomly selected to start the team pick doesn't mean you're the team leader," Gretchen said exasperatedly. "And even if you were, you should still be helping out! I'm the protagonist for goodness' sakes, and I've been sweating my ass off getting stuff for the shelter."

"You're a proctologist?" Steve Jenkins winced. "Gross. I didn't need to know that."

"Oh my-" Gretchen pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, you heard Chris. Both teams will be casting votes each round. That means you don't have Invincibility to fall back on. Get to work, or we're going to vote you out. End of story."

"Pssh. Like you'd dare vote out Steve Jenkins," Steve Jenkins scoffed, amused.

"You want to put that to the test?" Gretchen growled.

"It's summer. We're not in school. I'm not about to take any tests," Steve Jenkins responded.

Gretchen's hands contorted into a strangling position. She forced herself to walk away from the conversation.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** People always ask me: "Hey, Steve Jenkins, how do you have such god-level powers of persuasion?" And I tell them "Well, this kind of charisma doesn't come naturally. For regular people, that is. For Steve Jenkins, well, that's just how I am." Then they ask me for my autograph, in the misguided hopes that they, too, can borrow just a little of Steve Jenkins' power for themselves.

 **Gretchen:** I swear, it's like he knows he's pissing me off and is just playing dumb to piss me off even more! Mm, then again, they say that you shouldn't attribute to malice that which can easily be explained as stupidity. But come on, nobody's _that_ delusionally self-important!

* * *

Elmer and Rhiannon had begun working on starting a campfire.

"...Hey, I'm really sorry to hear about Louise," Rhiannon mentioned.

"You had better not be hitting on me just because she isn't here to see it," Elmer warned.

"I'm not, I'm not, I swear!" Rhiannon panicked. "I really do mean it."

Elmer sighed. "This game was our first time meeting up in real life," he said. "I wanted to keep _some_ distance between us so we wouldn't look like an obvious power duo, but... I was really looking forward to spending some real time together when we shuffled."

"Yeah," Rhiannon nodded understandingly. "But hey, at least you made friends on Team I Don't Know, right?"

Elmer looked at Bunko and Fred in the distance with Jeremy.

"I may be able to trust Fred, but Bunko and I were never close," Elmer said. "Wait, why am I telling you this?"

"Because you want to trust me?" Rhiannon guessed. "Hey, my closest ally ended up on the other team, so I could use some more friends myself."

"What about Hildegard and Kun?" Elmer inquired.

"They both trust me, but they can't stand each other," Rhiannon explained.

"Mm, I can see how that'd be a problem," Elmer thought aloud. "You do seem easy to trust, for what it's worth. I hope my trust in you isn't misplaced."

"I didn't win Most Trustworthy in the porn awards for nothing," Rhiannon giggled.

Elmer gave her an odd look.

"That was a joke," Rhiannon explained.

"Yeah, no, I figured that much out," Elmer said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** It is incredibly telling that Fred chose to go set up camp with Bunko instead of with me. Part of me wants to say he's just branching out, maybe keeping Team I Don't Know strong by working together, but... let's be real, he isn't that strategically-minded. Rhiannon's a bit perverted, but she seems level-headed. I can't say for sure that I'll end up working with her, but so far, she's left a good impression.

 **Rhiannon:** In this game, you want capable allies, and Elmer seems like one of if not the smartest person on this team. The Knights of Goodness were kind of a trainwreck, which was good for keeping the target off of me, but here on the Tough Tundras, I'm going to need to be more proactive if I want to stay alive in this game.

* * *

Nestor and Virgil had begun working together to gather food for their team.

"So you don't like your teammates who ended up on this team, either?" Virgil grinned.

"I'll be real, if not for the fact that Steve Jenkins was on my team, I probably would have gone home next if we lost again," Nestor chuckled.

"I absolutely would have gone home next," Virgil said. "The losers banded together and managed to take advantage of Jimmy Beans' paranoia in that first vote. Getting rid of Licorice after that was easy. For them, that is."

"Paranoia can be a killer," Nestor agreed. "...So, what's my cute candy-related nickname?"

"Blueberry," Virgil answered.

"I _hope_ that's because of my blue hair and not because I'm about as big as Violet Beauregarde when she took that gum," Nestor sassed.

"It's whatever you want it to be, Blueberry," Virgil smirked.

"You little bitch," Nestor teased. "So, what do you think of our other teammates?"

"The Team I Don't Know guys are worrying me a bit," Virgil said. "I saw them already talking to Gingersnap. It wouldn't surprise me if they were already working together."

"Damn, you serious?" Nestor cursed. "Those two and Liberty are the only ones on this team not from our old teams."

"Don't tell me you think you have less charisma than Gingersnap," Virgil goaded. "We can get them to work with us. Add in Sugar Crash, and we're golden."

"Sugar Crash is Liberty, right?" Nestor guessed.

"Who else?" Virgil half-confirmed.

"Boy, you're crazy," Nestor chuckled.

"If I'm crazy, then the rest of the world is an insane asylum," Virgil said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Lordy, my prayers have been answered, and I got me a nice new ally. It was _not_ fun being on the outs on The Best Team. Especially since it was partly my own fault. But this is not Total Drama _Shuffle_ Party for nothing, boo. One of the best twists this show has had in years, I swear.

 **Virgil:** Yeah, Blueberry's pretty eccentric, but he clearly knows his stuff. He's smart enough to figure out where the real money is. _(He points this thumbs at himself.)_ Toxic Waste chose me in the team pick, so I think I could get her and Mystery Pop to work with me and Blueberry. She's smart enough to know where the real money is.

* * *

Hildegard and Shadya had gone off to chop down materials to build a shelter.

"Let it never be said that women cannot carry more than their weight in labor!" Hildegard said proudly.

"The only times my gender has ever been a factor in my accomplishments is when other people try to make it one," Shadya said simply. "You'd be surprised how much of a big deal people make it when a woman accomplishes everything I have."

"Art thou insinuating that I've accomplished nothing?" Hildegard accused.

"Have you appeared on national news before?" Shadya asked.

"Thou needest not fame to be an accomplished warrior!" Hildegard insisted.

"No, but it helps immensely," Shadya said.

"In what way?" Hildegard challenged.

"Look, the point is, I agree with you about how women should not be underestimated," Shadya said.

"Do tell that to Kun," Hildegard spat. "He deigned declare himself the leader of my Knights of Goodness, when he was no more capable of such a position than I! Or even Rhiannon, for that matter!"

"Yes, he and I have discussed this before," Shadya said. "I warned him that he should be well aware of his place were we to end up on the same team. So far I've received no pushback."

"Consider thyself lucky," Hildegard scoffed.

"I will not," Shadya said firmly. "I have not attained the lofty, accoladed position I have through mere luck. To insinuate as much is insulting at best. We have been over this."

"'Tis but an idiom," Hildegard said as she rolled her eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I've still yet to form a solid impression of Shadya. Our team may use a capable leader, and she is capable. But, does our team truly need her? We shall be voting in every round on this isle, so it is not as if she can lead our team to victory.

 **Shadya:** I am 100% confident in my safety as of today's shuffle. Even if the others on this team were foolish enough to vote for me, all I need to do is win the duel. It'd be a waste of a vote, if anything.

* * *

Dean dug a fire pit for his team while Liberty struggled to stay awake long enough to watch.

"It's like, she's the first person in forever who I've considered a genuine friend," Dean said. "Not someone who's nice me to out of pity. And then I couldn't even go without screwing that up."

"Yeah..." Liberty responded.

"She said I was obsessed with myself, but that doesn't make any sense," Dean continued. "I can't stand myself. Why would I?"

"You can... uh... be obsessed with something you hate," Liberty pointed out drowsily. "Like Moby Dick or something."

"I haven't read that," Dean admitted.

"All I know is Gretchen is probably right," Liberty said. "You probably are obsessed with your own failures."

"Gretchen?" Dean asked. "No, I'm... I'm talking about Wisdom."

Liberty blinked twice slowly. "...What?"

"Wisdom? She was on the Lollipops?" Dean explained.

"Oh, Wisdom is a person," Liberty realized. "Is she on this team?"

"No, and that's the problem," Dean said. "I want to apologize to her, but I can't."

"Maybe try just not being annoying instead," Liberty said.

"Believe me, I would if I knew how," Dean sighed.

"She literally told you how," Liberty groaned. "Stop calling attention to your own patheticness. It's not going to make people more inclined to forgive you if you're self-aware. If anything, that just makes it worse."

"I guess that might be a start," Dean figured.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Geez, how can someone who's asleep half the time figure all this out easier than I can? Okay, no, I need to stop thinking like that.

 **Liberty:** _(She yawns.)_ Which one was that? Virgil? I think that was Virgil. I couldn't care less about his problems.

* * *

Kun and Wisdom used the provided hunting kit to search for food.

"Have you ever hunted before?" Wisdom asked.

"Hildegard did most of that back on the Knights of Goodness," Kun answered. "But she's helping Shadya with building the, um, shelter, so I think now's a good learning experience. A good team leader should be able to assist his employees with, um, any task."

"Employees?" Wisdom asked as she cocked her head to the side.

"Um, so to speak," Kun said as he cleared his throat. "Say, all your old teammates ended up the other team, right?"

"Why do you ask?" Wisdom asked. "Are you proposing an alliance between us?"

"It couldn't hurt," Kun confirmed. "There are a lot of, um, threatening presences on this team. I think I can get, um, Rhiannon to work with us."

"You think?" Wisdom questioned.

"Hildegard will also likely be, um, trying to recruit her," Kun explained.

"Why can't we work with Hildegard, too?" Wisdom asked.

"She's... difficult," Kun said.

Wisdom nodded in understanding. "Do you mind if I ask an off-topic question?"

"Um, sure," Kun agreed.

"If you're someone's only friend, is it bad if you yell at them if they upset you?" Wisdom frowned.

"I can't imagine it's, um, all that bad," Kun answered. "That person would have had to really upset you, and at that point, they shouldn't be allowed to, um, get away with that."

"You think?" Wisdom asked. "Then why do I feel so guilty?"

"I don't know all the details, I'm afraid," Kun said. "If this is about someone on the, um, other team, then I'd recommend taking time to, um, think about it. You likely won't see them again for a while, after all."

Wisdom nodded in understanding.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** A good leader has to be able to, um, mediate any tension between members of his team. Sadly, that's, um, never been my strong suit. Confrontation in general, really, isn't something I'm great with. But, um, that's what makes Total Drama a learning experience.

 **Wisdom:** How can I feel so justified then and now in telling Dean how I felt, and still feel bad for doing it? Is it because I yelled at him? Was that too aggressive? Or did I need to in order to get my feelings across? Why must this be so confusing?

* * *

Mark and Roxie had retreated away from camp to talk.

"So, what do you make of our team?" Mark asked.

"Could be worse, I guess. Still some annoying people. But what can you do?" Roxie answered.

"We could start thinking about who we want to vote for," Mark said.

"Steve Jenkins, Gretchen, Nestor, Dean... We've definitely got options," Roxie listed.

"No kidding," Mark chuckled.

"Mind if I drop some input?" Virgil offered as he approached the two.

"Were you following us?" Roxie accused.

"You guys just disappeared. I couldn't imagine you went all that far since we're still getting the lay of the land," Virgil shrugged. He looked at Roxie. "By the way, I appreciate you choosing me in the team pick before."

"You seemed like the least awful of my options," Roxie said.

"And you guys seem like some of the least awful among our team," Virgil added.

"So, what, you're going to throw The Best Team under the bus?" Roxie guessed.

"The Luscious Lollipops, actually," Virgil smirked. "Dean and Sour Grapes were in direct opposition to me on Whenua Island. I'm letting you know that I'm willing to help you guys get rid of them."

"Sour Grapes?" Mark asked.

"Yeah, I give everyone sweets-related nicknames. It's a thing," Virgil explained.

"Except for Dean," Mark pointed out.

"He doesn't deserve one," Virgil shrugged.

"So I take it you'd rather vote for him over Gretchen?" Mark inquired.

"Honestly, I'd be fine with either of them going," Virgil answered. "With the duel format, though, Dean is more likely to lose and go home for good."

"How do we know you can trust you?" Roxie asked.

"I already talked to Nestor. Ask him," Virgil said.

"Got it. Thanks for the input," Mark smiled.

Virgil made a clicking noise with his mouth before walking off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** I have no solid grasp on the dynamics of the Luscious Lollipops. For all I know, Virgil could be really tight with Dean and Gretchen, and he could just be trying to trick us. Besides, he said he talked to Nestor, who Ginger doesn't like. Honestly, should we just vote for Nestor?

 **Mark:** Even after a hard day of setting up camp, we've still got to worry about who we're going to vote for. The fact that the person we vote for can just win a duel and come back makes things extra tough, too.

 **Virgil:** I would love nothing more than to watch Dean and Sour Grapes get voted into the duels and lose back-to-back. That's the current goal, here. I figure that Dean will probably just lose on his own, and then, once he's gone, Sour Grapes will get so pissed that it'll throw her off of her game. Hey, it's no more underhanded than anything she's done.

* * *

Shadya took Jeremy and Bunko with her to search for food.

"I've noticed the two of you getting along since even before the teams were chosen," Shadya stated. "Bunko, I would like to extend an offer to work with Jeremy and myself."

Bunko looked at Jeremy unsurely. The hiker gave a slight nod.

"Um, okay," Bunko agreed.

"You should be honored to be taken under the wing of such accomplished people," Shadya tutted. "At any rate, we should discuss the upcoming vote. I would like to be rid of Kun posthaste."

"Kun? How come?" Bunko asked.

"I dislike him," Shadya said.

Silence.

"...Can I ask _why_ you dislike him?" Jeremy asked.

"His utter lack of effort in hiding his nervousness in spite of his apparent aspirations towards leadership disgust me," Shadya said.

"I guess it's about as good of a reason as any," Jeremy figured.

"He's not hurting anyone," Bunko pointed out.

"Nobody is hurting anybody. That doesn't change the fact that we still need to vote," Shadya told her.

"I know..." Bunko frowned.

"For our supposed team leader, Kun has yet to reach out to me," Jeremy added.

"Frankly, I see no good reason why we _shouldn't_ vote him out in light of all that has been said," Shadya said.

"Alright. Kun it is," Jeremy agreed. He glanced at Bunko.

"Er, right," Bunko agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I'm not particularly married to the idea of a Kun vote, but I cannot fathom anyone coming up with a better idea.

 **Jeremy:** Shadya wants to vote for Kun, which I'm not opposed to, but I don't want to just blindly listen to Shadya and have that be that. I have new friends and allies, now, and I think a dialogue could do wonders, here.

 **Bunko:** So... wait, does Jeremy want to work with Shadya, or not? I can't tell.

* * *

Gretchen dragged Dean along with her to speak to Ginger.

"Hey, Ginger, right?" Gretchen addressed.

"Don't wear it out," Ginger quipped. "What do you want?"

"You were on a team with Steve Jenkins, right?" Gretchen began. "How well did you get along with him?"

"You're joking, right?" Ginger scoffed.

"My sentiments exactly," Gretchen smirked. "You saw him just flat-out not helping set up camp. Are we really going to let that kind of thing fly?"

"What did Dean do to help set up camp?" Ginger asked in disbelief.

"Set up the... space where we'd put up the campfire," Dean answered. "I would have made the fire itself, but-"

"Stop saying words," Gretchen interrupted. "Look, the difference between Dean and Steve Jenkins is that Dean is a reasonable human being. He sucks at everything he's ever attempted, but he's at least trying. Can you say the same about Steve Jenkins?"

"Besides, my vote still has as much value as anyone else's. Don't you want that in your favor?" Dean piped up.

"I'm definitely not opposed to a Steve Jenkins vote," Ginger grinned.

"I'd be concerned if you were," Gretchen smirked. She held her hand out for a shake. "Do we have a deal?"

"When did this become a deal? Voting for Steve Jenkins should be the default choice tonight," Ginger sniggered.

"Heh. True," Ginger agreed.

"I think the handshake is more about the principle of-" Dean began.

"Shut up, Dean," Gretchen interrupted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I'll show that good-for-nothing pretty boy that you can't just coast by without putting in the effort. He's been lucky so far, but, unless you're the protagonist, your luck will always run out eventually!

 **Ginger:** Heh. And here I thought the shuffle would make things harder for me. If anything, I dare say it's gotten easier, since so many people want to work with me now. I guess they recognize genius when they see it.

 **Dean:** I've just never made a fire without a lighter or anything. Knowing me, I'd probably end up hurting myself if I tried, so it's a good thing Roxie was able to come through for us.

* * *

Elmer and Fred had split off on their own.

"So, I saw you talking to some of the others earlier," Elmer mentioned.

"...Oh, you mean Bunko and Jeremy?" Fred realized. "Yeah, they're cool."

"I didn't realize you were friends with Bunko," Elmer said.

"Aw, I liked everyone on Team I Don't Know," Fred smiled. "Except Hiram, but we don't have to worry about him."

"Mm," Elmer nodded. "Did you guys discuss potential votes at all?"

"Not votes per se, but we were talking about getting you and Shadya to join us for an alliance of five," Fred said.

"Shadya, huh?" Elmer acknowledged. "I still haven't really spoken to her. Or Jeremy, for that matter."

"What about you, fam? Any ideas on who to vote for?" Fred asked.

"Wisdom," Elmer said instantly. "She was on the Luscious Lollipops, and she's partially responsible for voting out Louise."

"Soft, yon squires!" Hildegard called out as she ran up to the two of them.

"Hildegard, right?" Fred answered.

"The one and only," Hildegard said proudly. "Though I am slow in doing so, I wanted to formally introduce myself unto thee."

"Bruh, what is she saying?" Fred stage-whispered to Elmer.

"What are your allegiances, Lady Hildegard?" Elmer asked.

"Admittedly, I have spent most of my time and energy today setting up camp rather than forming allegiances," Hildegard confessed. "But know that Rhiannon and Shadya are both in my good graces. I do believe I witnessed thee conferring with Lady Rhiannon before."

"Niiiiiiice," Fred teased Elmer with a playful elbow jab.

"In that case, I believe we can trust one another," Elmer told Hildegard as he side-eyed Fred in annoyance. "What are your current plans for the vote?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Are we adding too many cooks to the broth that is whatever potential alliance may be in the works? Perhaps, but at no point has it ever been out of the question to free up room in the kitchen, so to speak. We'll see where things go from here.

 **Hildegard:** This team seems far more capable than my previous team. Indeed, Kun is still a part of it, but that is more than made up for by the others, methinks. I do believe I shall prosper in this frosty waste yet!

 **Fred:** I gotta be honest, your boy's pretty nervous going into this vote. I still don't remember who all is on the team, let alone how they might vote. Sure, it sounds like I've got peeps on my side, but you never know.

* * *

Nestor sat in his team's completed shelter, next to a sleeping Liberty.

"Say what you will about this ragtag group - we're better at making shelter than Team Maskwak," Nestor joked.

"What does that even mean?" Liberty groaned.

"I thought you were sleeping," Nestor said.

"So did I," Liberty grunted.

"I think we're going to have to head out soon," Nestor commented as he glanced at the setting sun. "Where's your head at, girl? Spill that tea."

"Tea is the greatest beverage on the planet. I will not spill it," Liberty droned.

"Tsk. I _know_ you know what I meant," Nestor huffed.

"Heh," Liberty chuckled. "I don't really know who I'm voting for. Who's on our team again?"

"What's up, lamers?" Steve Jenkins greeted as he walked up to the two and sat on the other side of Liberty.

"At what point did I indicate that I wanted to be sandwiched between the two of you?" Liberty scowled.

"Heh. Sounds like being on a team with Rhiannon rubbed off on you," Steve Jenkins chuckled. "I certainly wouldn't mind if Rhiannon rubbed off on me, _if you know what I mean_."

"It costs zero dollars to not be like this," Liberty responded.

"I know, I know, Steve Jenkins is a priceless commodity," Steve Jenkins grinned.

"So, how've you been getting along with our new team, Steve Jenkins?" Nestor inquired.

"Aw, you know, they all worship the ground I walk on, but I try to stay humble. The yuzhe," Steve Jenkins said.

Liberty wrapped her pillow around her ears.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** My team sucks. What else is new? At least the blankets and pillows reward from the last island carried over to this team. _(She yawns.)_

 **Nestor:** Somehow I get the feeling that I'll be able to get more of a foothold in this team's dynamics than my old team's. Just a hunch. _(He winks.)_

 **Steve Jenkins:** Man, nobody here is trying to swoop in and take my leader status like Shady did, so picking one of my adoring fans to vote for won't be easy. But I'll make it through this. Somehow!

* * *

Kun, Rhiannon, and Wisdom all grouped up away from camp.

"So what's the plan?" Wisdom asked. "Or are we about to come up with one?"

"Ideally, I'd like to be, um, rid of Shadya," Kun mentioned. "But I'm worried that, um, she could just win whatever duel she's sent into."

"It's tough, especially since we don't know what the duels might entail," Rhiannon added.

"You mentioned a rivalry with Hildegard, right?" Wisdom asked Kun. "And Hildegard has been spending time with Shadya, right? Would it be prudent to vote for Hildegard tonight?"

"Honestly, I could see that working," Rhiannon agreed. "I can't imagine anyone sticking their neck out to keep Hildegard safe, except maybe Shadya. She could be a clean, easy first vote for the team."

"That's a, um, great idea, Wisdom," Kun smiled.

"You think so?" Wisdom smiled back.

"Great! I'll go talk to some of the others," Rhiannon said. "The more votes we get for this cause, the better."

Rhiannon left the scene.

"Do you trust her?" Wisdom asked Kun, who had looked pensive.

"Huh?" Kun asked. "It's, well, um, it's tough to gauge. I know for a fact that, um, Hildegard was working her over back on the Knights of Goodness."

"Really?" Wisdom frowned. "Do you think I made a mistake in throwing Hildegard's name out there?"

"I'd like to think that you didn't. I'd like to, um, trust Rhiannon," Kun said. "I trust her more than I distrust her. If she doesn't vote with us, it's, um, not anyone's fault but her own."

Wisdom nodded unsurely.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Total Drama has never, um, changed how the game is played so drastically before. It's certainly going to be tough to, um, adapt, but a good leader is able to adapt to anything.

 **Rhiannon:** This team is absolutely full of more capable people than the Knights of Goodness, so laying low and being friendly isn't going to cut it, here. I need to take some more real initiative, and I plan to do just that.

 **Wisdom:** Will this be an organized vote between two people or a messy vote between many? Whom can I truly trust? Can I truly trust anyone?

* * *

Twilight shone above the cape of the duel arena as the teams made their way to their respective sets of bleachers. Chris stood on the duel arena proper.

"Great to see you again, campers!" Chris greeted. "I hope things are faring well at your new camps. Anyway, on your bleachers, you'll find small touch devices. These are what you'll be using to vote. In the case of Fred, we have this big clunky controller that has the names of all twenty-four contestants written in Braille, each to the right of a big button. We weren't sure who all was going to end up on your team, so we just played it safe."

"Thanks, dawg!" Fred called as Kun handed him his voting device.

"Once you've cast your vote, it's locked in, so try not to misclick. Hehaha," Chris chuckled. "As soon as everyone has voted, I can reveal the results, and who our two duelists will be."

The eighteen contestants all submitted their votes almost as soon as Chris had finished saying that, save for Fred who had to take a minute to find the right button.

"Alright, you have cast your votes and made your decisions," Chris said once Fred had voted. "If you'll direct your attention to the big screen, I'll reveal the votes for each team one by one."

The stylized Brilliant Beaches and Tough Tundras text from before was placed above a T-chart on the screen. After a brief dramatic pause, a picture of a contestant appeared on either side of the chart.

...

...

...

Steve Jenkins and Kun

"Exsqueeze me?" Steve Jenkins asked in disbelief.

"O-Oh boy," Kun gulped.

...

...

...

Another picture of Steve Jenkins and Kun appeared.

"What gives?!" Steve Jenkins snapped.

Kun's hands began shaking.

...

...

...

Pictures of Dean and Hildegard now appeared on the screen.

"Yep," Dean nodded.

"Fie! Who is responsible for this?!" Hildegard objected.

...

...

...

Dean and Hildegard appeared once again. Neither contestant reacted this time.

...

...

...

Dean and Kun.

...

...

...

Steve Jenkins and Kun. Both boys gritted their teeth.

...

...

...

Dean and Kun.

"That's five votes for Kun, which is enough to secure his spot in the arena," Chris said.

The screen displayed the full vote for the Tough Tundras: seven votes for Kun and two votes for Hildegard.

"Seven, huh?" Kun sighed. "I, um, I see." The aspiring leader stood up.

"Not yet, Kun. Wait for your opponent to be revealed," Chris shot down.

Kun nodded and sat back down.

"Now, the Brilliant Beaches currently sit at four votes for Dean and three votes for Steve Jenkins," Chris continued. "And the next vote..."

...

...

...

Another picture of Dean appeared.

"That's five, that's enough," Chris said.

The screen then added on the final Dean vote: a 6-3 split.

"Now, if the two of you would join me down here on the arena platform," Chris told the two duelists.

"Don't screw this up," Gretchen told Dean as he stood up and made his way down.

"I'll explain everything later," Rhiannon assured Kun as he stood up and made his way down.

Neither boy responded, however, as they walked directly towards the path to the arena. After both duelists set foot on the arena, the paths - including the one to the Dock of Shame - lowered into the water.

"Dean and Kun," Chris began. "You have both been selected by your respective team to compete in tonight's duel. The loser of this duel must walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave the game for good."

"So what's the duel?" Dean asked.

"For crying out loud, Dean, I was literally just about to explain it," Chris groaned. "Don't you know it's rude to interrupt people with redundant questions?"

Dean hung his head.

Ladders rose out of the water on either side of the arena platform until they connected with the lip of the platform itself. Two interns arrived from the Dock of Shame, each carrying a clear tube - about half as tall as they were - with a white ball at the bottom.

"Your challenge is simple," Chris said. "Each of you has a plastic tube with a ping-pong ball at the bottom. Your goal is to retrieve the ping-pong ball."

The interns placed color-coded plastic bases on the arena and began screwing the bases to the arena with power drills. They stuck the tubes in the bases.

"Obviously, you won't be able to simply tip the tubes over and get the balls that way," Chris said. "I wonder what other way you might be able to get a ping-pong ball from the bottom of a long tube. Hehaha."

Dean and Kun glanced at each other nervously.

"Oh, and to all the contestants _not_ competing in this duel, you are not allowed to interfere with the duel in any way," Chris continued. "This includes but is not limited to calling out to them to help, discourage, or distract them. You can talk quietly amongst yourselves - that's fine - but let's keep this duel kosher, alright? This applies to every duel we'll have, and this is your only warning."

The other contestants all nodded in understanding.

"The first duelist to hand me his ping-pong ball will win the duel and his continued time in this game," Chris concluded. "Any questions?"

Dean opened his mouth to speak.

"No, I will not elaborate on how you're supposed to get the ping-pong ball out. Figure it out yourself," Chris cut off.

Dean closed his mouth.

"...Alright, if there's no further ado, this duel has officially... begun!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** I guess I can't be too surprised that I was voted into a duel. I'm not just going to give up, though! I need to win this.

 **Kun:** Well, this is certainly, um, unexpected. But the blessing of this island is that, um, I still have a chance to come back to the game. And, um, that's the plan. Er, coming back, that is.

* * *

"Hmm, if I cannot manipulate the, um, the tube itself, then..." Kun paced back and forth looking at the plastic tube.

Dean immediately leaped off the platform and into the water below.

"I guess he finally decided to end it all," Gretchen commented nonchalantly. "I wonder what took him so long."

Dean took hold of the ladder and slowly climbed back up.

"Okay, so water is cold," Dean shivered. "I probably should have figured that much out."

Once Dean made it back to the platform, he leaned over the plastic pipe and coughed a mouthful of water into it.

"Ew!" Bunko cringed.

Dean took his shirt off.

" _What_ is he doing?" Nestor asked no one in particular.

Dean wrung his soaking wet shirt out over the pipe, getting more water in it.

"...Of course!" Kun realized as he witnessed Dean's actions.

Kun dove into the water just as Dean had before. Dean did the same.

"Yep, ping-pong balls have low density," Elmer nodded. "So if they fill the pipe with water, the ball should float to the top."

"Could Dean actually have this?" Mark wondered. "Since he figured it out first."

"You give him way too much credit," Virgil told Mark.

Indeed, Dean immediately lost his grip and fell off the ladder on his return trip up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** It turns out metal is slippery when wet. Who knew?

* * *

Kun returned to the arena platform, released a mouthful of water into the pipe, loosened his tie, and removed his shirt to wring it out.

"I'm all for shirtless boys, but this is ridiculous," Rhiannon giggled.

"Well, if Kun does win, I hope that he's aware of the weather that's waiting for him back at camp," Shadya pointed out.

Dean finally made it back to the top of the platform again, repeating his prior actions to get water into the pipe.

"This is going to take forever, isn't it?" Roxie asked as she lit a cigarette.

"The shirtless boys aren't doing it for you?" Mark joked.

"Shockingly, the idea of those two without clothes on isn't doing anything for me," Roxie droned.

"I can't blame you. Once you go Steve Jenkins, you never go... uh... Beve Jenkins," Steve Jenkins commented.

Roxie took an excessively long drag from her cigarette.

Kun returned to the platform after having jumped back in. He wiped his glasses off with his tie before filling his pipe with as much water as he could.

"I should just, um, go without these," Kun decided as he removed his glasses and put them in his pocket.

"Can he see without his glasses?" Wisdom wondered.

"I doubt he would have taken them off if he couldn't," Jeremy said. "Unless he values a difficult challenge that much."

"That might explain his lackluster attempts at leadership," Hildegard smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kun:** Frankly, I'm a bit embarrassed that I didn't figure out to, um, fill it up with water before Dean did. B-But that doesn't mean I can't catch up!

* * *

Time passed, and both boys had filled their pipes with a considerable amount of water.

"Are either of them close to winning, yet?" Fred sighed.

"They're both getting there," Elmer told him.

Dean climbed to the top of the platform once again, only to fall on his hands and knees and cough up the water he'd kept in his mouth. He panted heavily.

"So much... saltwater..." Dean wheezed.

Kun forced his wobbling legs to keep him from falling over as he trudged up to his pipe and added water to it.

"Is he going to be okay?" Wisdom asked, concerned.

"He fares yet better than Dean," Hildegard pointed out.

Wisdom frowned.

Dean looked at his team, and then the other team. With a deep breath, he stood back up and wrung his shirt out over the pipe. He jumped back into the sea below.

"Things are neck-and-neck!" Chris announced. "We might have our outcome sooner than later!"

As Kun climbed the ladder back up, he paused and coughed up his mouthful of water.

"Almost... there... Kun..." Kun told himself. He took a few breaths before resuming his climb. "You've still... got a wet... shirt..."

Kun struggled on his way up, but eventually made it back up to the platform, only to see Dean handing Chris his ping-pong ball.

"And there it is!" Chris announced. "The winner of the duel: Dean!"

Dean fell to his knees with a weak smile.

"Pathetic," Shadya spat.

"I can't believe it," Gretchen said, slightly impressed. "The little loser actually did it."

"Kun, this means that you have officially been eliminated from the game," Chris told the aspiring leader.

Kun was too weakened from the challenge to muster any response besides lightly pounding his fist on the floor.

The bridges between the bleachers and the arena and the Dock of Shame and the arena rose from the water.

"To those in the peanut gallery, now's your chance to say goodbye to Kun," Chris said.

The Tough Tundras all made their way to the arena.

"It was a valiant effort!" Jeremy complimented as he extended his hand to Kun.

Kun took Jeremy's hand, and the hiker pulled him onto his feet.

"I... I lost..." Kun panted as he put his shirt back on, followed by his glasses.

"And to Dean, no less," Shadya muttered.

"At least you tried your very best!" Bunko assured him.

"And I still lost," Kun sighed. "My best wasn't, um, enough. My parents will be, um, very disappointed."

"You get used to it," Fred said.

"Hey," Rhiannon said softly as she approached him. "I tried to push the Hildegard vote. I really did. But nobody I talked to was hearing it. I only voted for you to keep myself safe."

Kun did not respond outside of a disappointed shake of his head. He turned around and headed for the Dock of Shame. "Goodbye, um, everyone. I appreciate the opportunity to, um, play."

Kun was met with several goodbyes back as he walked down the Dock of Shame. He boarded the Boat of Losers, and the vessel drove off.

"Dean, as the winner of the arena duel, you now have a choice to make!" Chris announced. "Will you return to the Brilliant Beaches, or defect to the Tough Tundras?"

"Oh, that's easy," Dean said. "I want to go to the Tundras."

"...Hey, wait a minute!" Gretchen objected. "Dean, what the hell are you doing?!"

"It's his choice," Chris said. "Alright. Dean is now officially a member of the Tough Tundras! That's all I have for you guys tonight. Head back to camp. I'll see you all again tomorrow!"

The two teams went on their way back to their respective camps.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** What the hell is Dean thinking?! He can't just ditch me like that! He's my deuteragonist! We're supposed to get through this through thick and thin together, damn it! I'll kick his ass for this, I swear.

 **Shadya:** None who oppose me remain in any position to oppose me for much longer. I can only hope Kun's elimination is a lesson to everyone else in that regard.

* * *

Chris remained standing on the arena platform.

"One day into our first shuffle and things are already getting crazy!" Chris beamed. "Will Dean regret jumping over to the Tough Tundras? Will Shadya's reign ever be challenged? Who will take control of the Brilliant Beaches? Will Gretchen recover without her precious deuteragonist? The answers to all these questions just might be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Night had fallen at the Brilliant Beaches' camp, and just about everyone was asleep. Ginger, however, was not.

She shook Mark lightly. The amnesiac stirred a bit.

"Wha...?" Mark asked, still half-asleep.

"Follow me," Ginger whispered.

Ginger left the team's shelter, grabbed her knapsack and began to walk off. Mark followed her.

* * *

The two had left camp and ended up deep into the neighboring jungle.

"What's up, Ginger?" Mark asked.

"I don't need to explain myself to you," Ginger said as she removed the machine she'd been tinkering with from her knapsack.

"Is that your luxury item?" Mark asked. "Ginger, what's going on?"

"You're not going to remember that any of this happened either way," Ginger sighed. "Why go to the trouble of explaining?"

"I don't follow," Mark quavered.

"I just want to see how much you've learned since the start of the game," Ginger grinned.

With a twinkle in her eye, the roboticist jammed the device into the back of Mark's neck.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

 **Dean:** Steve Jenkins

 **Ginger:** Dean

 **Gretchen:** Steve Jenkins

 **Liberty:** Steve Jenkins

 **Mark:** Dean

 **Nestor:** Dean

 **Roxie:** Dean

 **Steve Jenkins:** Dean

 **Virgil:** Dean

 **Tough Tundras:**

 **Bunko:** Kun

 **Elmer:** Kun

 **Fred:** Kun

 **Hildegard:** Kun

 **Jeremy:** Kun

 **Kun:** Hildegard

 **Rhiannon:** Kun

 **Shadya:** Kun

 **Wisdom:** Hildegard

* * *

 **Brilliant Beaches**

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

Liberty - The Sleepyhead

Mark - The Amnesiac

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet

Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Tough Tundras**

Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist

Dean - The Eternal Loser

Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend

Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy

Hildegard - The Paladin

Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Whenua Island**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: Kun is another character who was actually going to go home in the previous island, but I felt had a little more to offer than the planning stages had led me to believe. He was actually going to be the second boot, originally, after failing to integrate with his teammates and generally annoying them with his tepid attempts at leadership, but I actually ended up liking his dynamics with the Knights of Goodness that ended up occurring. I then bumped him up to fifth boot, but after I decided to move Hiram to that position, it bought Kun a couple more rounds to try and make connections, but ultimately not gain enough traction to keep himself from being eliminated._

 _As for Kun as a character, I thought he turned out alright. Not great, not awful, just alright. He definitely made an attempt to play the game, in spite of his obvious nervousness, and I thought the idea of someone with no self-confidence whatsoever trying to assert himself as an authority or leader of any kind would be an interesting take, but ultimately, I never had any long-term plans for Kun that would have led him towards developing past his nervousness. That plot's been done before, including by me, and I didn't want yet another "shy character overcomes their shyness and makes it to the final five or something" plot. Thus, we leave Kun here. What did you guys think of Kun? o:_


	10. Wait, Was He Offering Me A Deal?

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the Dock of Shame. "In our last episode, the first big shuffle of Total Drama Shuffle Party began, and our contestants have whisked away to Kairi Island. Four teams became two, with members of each old team on each new team, making for some interesting interactions. On the Brilliant Beaches, Ginger and Virgil were both quick to abandon their old teammates in search of greener pastures, while others like Dean, Liberty, and Steve Jenkins proved that the more things change, the more things stay the same. On the Tough Tundras, Bunko and Jeremy made fast friends in one another, while other budding friendships like Hildegard and Shadya, and Kun and Wisdom took hold.

"Due to the new format brought onto the game, both teams cast a vote for who they wanted out of their team. The Brilliant Beaches took the easy Dean route, while the Tough Tundras took Kun out of an emerging power struggle. The two boys partook in a duel to see who would stay in the game, and who would ultimately leave it for good. Both of them struggled greatly, but in the end, Dean just barely pulled it out, sending Kun down the Dock of Shame. And, thanks to another twist, Dean elected to leave the Brilliant Beaches, and officially join the Tough Tundras.

"Needless to say, things are about to get even crazier now that lines have been drawn. Will people continue to draw lines? Will people start crossing lines? Well, make a bee-line to your comfiest seat. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The sun rose above the Tough Tundras' camp. Some contestants were still sleeping, while others had gone out to collect food and supplies. Dean and Wisdom sat silently by the fire.

"...Wisdom, I'm sorry!" Dean blurted out. "I know I really upset you the other day, and I never apologized for it. I feel awful, I really do, I-"

"Dean?" Wisdom interrupted. "...Will you forgive me?"

"Forgive you? I, er, what for?" Dean questioned.

"For yelling at you?" Wisdom reminded him. "For going off on you out of nowhere? For being hard on you when you were already down? For selfishly letting my own emotions take over?"

"Wisdom..." Dean began. "You were perfectly justified in doing that. Honestly, I-"

"Do you forgive me?" Wisdom insisted.

"Wisdom, I forgive you," Dean smiled. "So... are we still friends?"

Wisdom smiled and nodded.

"That's such a load off my mind," Dean said with a sigh of relief.

"So, did you sleep well?" Wisdom asked. "Were you too cold after getting so wet in the duel?"

"I didn't sleep at all," Dean groaned. "Cold, wet... I'm surprised I haven't caught pneumonia by now."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** I was the only other person not to vote for Kun last night, wasn't I? While it's great to have Dean back, we'll need more than just the two of us, won't we? But where should we start?

 **Dean:** I'm just hoping that I don't just get voted straight back into the arena. I was barely able to pull off one victory, and after how badly I slept last night, there's, well, a snowball's chance that I'll win another.

* * *

Mark and Virgil went off to a rock overlooking the sea with their team's fishing kit.

"So hey, thanks for helping vote Dean out," Virgil mentioned.

"Oh, yeah, no problem," Mark smiled as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't really know Dean, but he didn't seem like he'd be all that helpful around camp, anyway."

"He's still in the game, but at least he isn't our problem anymore," Virgil smirked. "So, what would you say about you and Toxic Waste grouping up with me and Blueberry? An official alliance?"

"Blueberry is... Nestor, right?" Mark figured. "Well, that isn't solely my choice. It's Roxie's, too. Maybe Ginger's, too, since she helped vote Dean out."

"Blueberry and Gingersnap don't seem to be on the best terms," Virgil noted. "Do we have to include her?"

"Five of us would make a good majority," Mark pointed out. "Our other options would be... Gretchen, Liberty, or Steve Jenkins."

"Do you think Sugarcrash would go through with it?" Virgil wondered.

"I have more trust in Ginger than Liberty," Mark mentioned as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"If we can get Blueberry and Gingersnap both to agree to it, then whatever works, I guess," Virgil figured. "If she doesn't agree, though, she could get the other three in a counter-alliance."

"Gretchen voted for Steve Jenkins last night, right? I don't think we have anything to worry about," Mark chuckled.

"Fair enough," Virgil smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** It's a bit weird, voting someone out only for them to still be in the game, just on the other team. Or heck, especially if they come back to our team. It's just a whole other thing to think about, isn't it? _(He rubs the back of his neck.)_

 **Virgil:** Mystery Pop seems like a good ally. For someone who lost his memory, he's been able to pick up on the game pretty quickly. So I'll trust his judgment on Gingersnap, at least for the time being.

* * *

Jeremy and Fred took a walk around a rockier part of the tundra.

"Man, this feels good!" Fred exclaimed. "I don't get to just take walks that often."

Jeremy laughed jovially. "I'm glad you appreciate the bounty and splendor of the great outdoors!"

"Yeah, and my mom isn't here to make me bring my cane," Fred said proudly. "First a successful vote, and now this. Life's good, for reals!"

"Speaking of the game, what do you think about Shadya?" Jeremy inquired.

"She and I haven't really had any deep, meaningful one-on-ones or anything, but she seems tight," Fred answered. "She seems like she knows what she's doing."

"I only ask because Bunko doesn't seem to like her at all," Jeremy said. "Shadya's a very 'my way or the highway' kind of person, and Bunko's already noticed."

"So, what, you want to kick Shadya from the alliance?" Fred asked, confused.

"I think Bunko does. I'm... I'm just not sure," Jeremy admitted.

"I mean, if there are better options, then hit me up," Fred said.

"I'm not really equipped for this aspect of the game, I'm afraid," Jeremy said.

"Well hey, Elmer's smart. We could always ask for his opinion," Fred suggested.

"Maybe," Jeremy thought aloud.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** I'll be honest, I never expected to be involved in any sort of alliance drama, but here we are. On one end, there's Shadya, who I still really like, even though she can be... kind of difficult. On the other end, there's Bunko, who's really nice and means well, but doesn't seem to know what she's up against. I just hope I can stay out of the crossfire.

 **Fred:** I mean, I'm more inclined to side with Bunko, since we've been friends for a while, and I pretty much just met Shadya. Keep Shadya, lose Shadya... As long as we've still got a majority, it's all the same to me, you feel?

* * *

Steve Jenkins marched up to Gretchen, who had been eating a banana under a banana tree.

"Hey, you!" Steve Jenkins said accusatorily.

" _Moi_?" Gretchen asked.

"Did you vote for me last night?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," Gretchen said coyly. "Last I checked, you didn't even end up in the arena, so I don't know what you're so mad about."

"It's the principle of it all!" Steve Jenkins insisted. "I was going to get a perfect win, without any votes against me, but you just had to go and ruin it, didn't you?!"

"I straight-up told you I was going to vote for you if you didn't start helping out around camp," Gretchen said. "It's not my fault you didn't start helping out around camp."

"Uh, excuse you, I totally brought a coconut from a tree all the way back to camp," Steve Jenkins huffed.

"Which you promptly ate all by yourself, without sharing," Gretchen pointed out.

"It was my coconut," Steve Jenkins said.

"Look, talk to me when you have a leg to stand on," Gretchen dismissed as she tossed the peel of her banana aside. "I don't have time to waste on the cries of tertiary characters like you." Gretchen made her leave.

"Hey, I totally have a leg to stand on!" Steve Jenkins shouted. "I've got two, even! And they're the finely sculpted legs of a golden god! Get back here!"

Steve Jenkins chased after Gretchen.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** As the main character of the season, nothing bothers me more than random side characters trying to waste my time and leech off my relevance. Oh well. If we couldn't get rid of him yesterday, we can get rid of him today. I'll make sure of it.

 **Steve Jenkins:** I don't know what Gretchen's problem with me is, but it's really starting to get on my nerves! She should be _honored_ to have even set foot on the same beach as the one and only Steve Jenkins!

* * *

Elmer and Hildegard made their way back to camp with a couple hunted rabbits.

"We didn't really get a whole lot of meat back on my old team," Elmer commented. "It'll be nice to get some protein. Although, killing animals isn't high on my list of things to keep doing out here."

"In this game, it is kill or be killed!" Hildegard declared.

"I'm not sure that's meant literally, but alright," Elmer figured.

"By the by, I thank thee for voting to keep me safe last night," Hildegard acknowledged.

"Oh, that? It was no skin off my nose," Elmer responded.

"Your vote, plus the votes of your old teammates, could have made the difference," Hildegard pointed out. "I appreciate it."

"Believe me, the old team lines couldn't be less relevant to me," Elmer mentioned. "Say, what would you think about voting for one of the Luscious Lollipops this round?"

Hildegard laughed heartily. "Thou art a riot, Sir Elmer!"

"Hey, guys. What's going on?" Rhiannon greeted as the two made it to camp.

"Apparently I've been promoted to knighthood," Elmer told her.

"Ah, Lady Rhiannon!" Hildegard greeted back. "I was just commiserating Sir Elmer for keeping me safe."

"You mean 'commending'?" Elmer corrected. "Commiserating is an expression of sympathy."

"Test me not, good knight," Hildegard leered. "I knighted thee, and I can un-knight thee all the same!"

"So, what would the two of you say about making this a trio right here?" Rhiannon offered.

"I was just about to suggest we add Elmer to our party," Hildegard nodded.

"I'm down for it if you guys are," Elmer agreed. "And, wait, I'm not Sir Elmer anymore?"

"Wonderful," Rhiannon smiled. "I haven't had a threesome this good since Kenna James and Lexi Belle."

"Does she always name-drop porn stars she's been with?" Elmer asked Hildegard.

"Among other things unbefitting of a holy knight," Hildegard sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** This is cause to celebrate! I have my party, and I do believe that I am in Shadya's good graces as well. The Tough Tundras will serve this paladin well! Huzzah!

 **Elmer:** The way I see it, there's no good reason to turn down an alliance offer, even if you don't plan on staying loyal to them. Not that I don't plan on staying loyal to these two, but I can't call them my closest allies, either. Either way, it should keep all of us safer going forward.

 **Rhiannon:** They can be jealous all they want, but at the end of the day, I think all three of us _need_ this alliance. There are a lot of new relationships forming, and the more you have, the better.

* * *

Roxie went off to the jungle on her own to smoke, when Nestor found her.

"Heeeeeeeey!" Nestor greeted.

"Do not," Roxie shot down.

"I see my day one predictions are still going smoothly," Nestor chuckled. "If we're going to be working together, we should be a bit more talkative than that, no?"

"Let me make one thing perfectly clear:" Roxie began. "I'm not talkative. I don't like people who are. Do keep that in mind."

"That's two things, but I guess you needed to fit the haiku structure somehow," Nestor said.

"Excuse me?" Roxie grunted. "Do you want to die?"

"Listen, sweets, I get that you think it's cool to act all aloof and tough, but you need to work with me, here," Nestor told her. "You, me, Virgil, Mark, and Ginger made a move last night. We have the power right now. If you want to squander that, I'd be more than happy seeking out other options and making sure that you see the results of it firsthand."

" _I'm_ the one squandering it? You're the one who came up to me uninvited just to make fun of me!" Roxie shouted.

"I was just looking for firewood when I came across my ally Roxie and felt like having a chat," Nestor frowned.

"I don't chat. Deal with it," Roxie spat.

"And now I know that," Nestor shrugged. "Byeeeee!"

Nestor went in a different direction.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** A good game relationship means good communication. All you need is to look at the trainwreck that was Dave and Sky's... whatever that was, to see that. An alliance of five can be tricky, so establishing a relationship with everyone on it is key. Maybe I got a bit too playful with Roxie. And too defensive. Lesson learned.

 **Roxie:** I would genuinely rather work with Steve Jenkins than Nestor at this point. At least Steve Jenkins only talks about himself. He doesn't just make fun of his allies for no reason. Tch.

* * *

Bunko marched up to Shadya.

"Hey, Shadya!" Bunko shouted.

"Bunko, I don't know what's upset you, but it's none of my business, so-" Shadya began.

"It's _so_ your business!" Bunko insisted. "Why are you always so mean to Jeremy?"

"I beg your pardon?" Shadya scoffed. "From the very beginning of the game, I have granted Jeremy my alliance and loyalty, and have continued to do so to this day. Jeremy is the person in this game who I have treated the best if anything."

"Then why are you getting mad at him for just being friendly?" Bunko huffed. "He can be friends with Rowan if he wants to!"

"Is that what this is about?" Shadya scoffed. "Listen, kid. Rowan was on the opposing alliance back on The Best Team. Fraternizing with her is fraternizing with the enemy, and that's not something a loyal ally does. If Jeremy is still upset about me scolding him, then he should take it up with me, rather than sending you to do it."

"Jeremy didn't send me. I sent myself," Bunko scowled.

"Then I suggest you keep your nose out of other people's business when it does not concern you," Shadya glowered.

"Jeremy is my friend, so it _does_ concern me!" Bunko insisted.

"You're really starting to get on my nerves, child," Shadya leered. "I would suggest walking away now before you come to regret your actions."

"You aren't above everyone! Stop acting like you are!" Bunko cried.

"Try accomplishing a fraction of what I have and try telling me that again," Shadya spat.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I don't care if Shadya can run marathons and gets straight A's. Out here in Total Drama, we're all playing for the first time, so we're all equals. She can't keep treating people like this!

 **Shadya:** Bunko is an idiot, plain and simple. She has no idea what she's talking about. I meant what I said about fraternizing with the enemy, by the way, and Bunko is very close to becoming the enemy.

* * *

Ginger sat in the shelter when Liberty began to wake up.

"What time is it?" Liberty groaned.

"Well, everyone else has been up for hours, I can tell you that much," Ginger remarked.

"Oh, it's you," Liberty realized. "What were you and Mark up to last night?"

" _What_?" Ginger asked, taken aback.

"Yeah, I saw you two sneaking off last night," Liberty grinned. "You guys just met and you're already all over each other, eh?"

"Er, well, what can I say...?" Ginger responded unconvincingly. "Look, if it was any of your business, we wouldn't have to be sneaking off in the middle of the night."

"That's what Kirkland thought, too," Liberty chuckled.

"Is that a threat?" Ginger asked. "Because last time I checked, I've been awake in this game long enough to have actual allies, and last time I checked, all your old teammates ended up on the Tough Tundras, including one who just left last night."

Liberty yawned. "Let's be real, am I even among the top three most annoying people on this team?"

"You're getting there," Ginger said.

"So I've still got time to get people on my side? Cool," Liberty said. "Look, joking aside, I could give a damn if you're in a showmance. I think Gretchen voted out Louise for being a showmance, though, so if you keep your sights off me, I can keep others' sights off you."

"You weren't really in my sights, to begin with," Ginger said. "If anything, this exchange has put you higher on my shit list. Congratulations."

Liberty had already fallen back asleep.

"How does she do that?" Ginger asked flatly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Great, am I going to have to pretend like I'm in a showmance now? I'm no good at that stuff. What the hell is Liberty's deal, anyway? Is this her way of trying to catch up when she spends most of her time asleep? Give me a break.

 **Liberty:** So yeah, I'm pretty good at this game. _(She grins.)_

* * *

Rhiannon tended to her team's campfire when Wisdom approached her.

"Rhiannon?" Wisdom began. "Can we talk?"

"About last night's vote, I presume?" Rhiannon figured.

Wisdom nodded as she sat across from Rhiannon. "Why pretend like you wanted to work with Kun when you were just going to betray him?"

"I never wanted to vote for him," Rhiannon frowned. "He was actually my favorite teammate on the Knights of Goodness. When I said I was going to spread the idea of a Hildegard vote, I meant it. But everyone was stuck on voting for Kun. I got a few 'maybe's from people like Bunko and Elmer, but I knew I couldn't count on 'maybe'. I figured that, with the new shuffle, it was now or never to cut my losses and make new allies. I know that sounds harsh, and... that's because it is. But hey, at least we have Dean, right?"

"You mean _I_ have Dean?" Wisdom frowned. "What makes you think either of us can trust you after last night?"

"I mean, that's fair, but, if I can be blunt, do you have any other choice?" Rhiannon pointed out.

"If you can make new friends and allies so quickly, then Dean and I could do the same, no?" Wisdom figured. "Just because we aren't tall, blonde, and beautiful doesn't mean we can't do it, right?"

Rhiannon sighed. "For what it's worth, I'm really sorry."

"What good is 'sorry' when you're part of the reason Kun is gone?" Wisdom responded. "Will 'sorry' bring him back?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Did Rhiannon really think I would just let her stab her ally in the back without any pushback? Even if she couldn't have predicted Dean joining me, does she really underestimate me that much? ...In all honesty, _can_ Dean and I get more allies on our side?

 **Rhiannon:** Wisdom is justified in being upset with me, but I made the move I made, and I'm going to have to commit to it. I still have Hildegard, and now Elmer, too. And there's nothing stopping me from expanding my horizons even more.

* * *

Nestor had gone out to refill everyone's canteens when Gretchen approached him.

"Hey, you," Gretchen greeted.

"Well, if it isn't my close personal friend Gretchen," Nestor greeted. "What's the haps, girl?"

"Look, I know we've had our friction in the past, but we don't have to let that continue," Gretchen began. "We're both queers of color who love Total Drama. We're not that different, you and I."

"Oh girl, trust, our beef came and went on that first Dock of Shame," Nestor dismissed. "And, as your luck may have it, I could use some more allies, too."

"After voting in the majority last night?" Gretchen questioned.

"I'm good with Virgil and all, but he's good with like Ginger and Roxie, and they aren't really fans of mine. I'm not just going to be his side hoe while he goes and hangs with the cool kids."

"You think Ginger and Roxie are cool?" Gretchen chortled.

"Oh, you know what I meant," Nestor smiled. "My point is people who just let their majority alliance dominate even though they don't even like each other that much _suuuuck diiiiick_."

"Unless we're the ones in power. That's always acceptable," Gretchen sniffed confidently.

Nestor laughed. "Let's just see what the others have to say. Maybe we can get rid of Ginger or Roxie or someone and see how it goes from there."

"We can talk about it," Gretchen said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** The vote count was clear last night. Most of the team voted for Dean. I know I didn't, and I know Dean didn't, and I think Liberty was the third Steve Jenkins vote last night. Dean's on the other team now, because he's stupid and can't make good choices without me, but Nestor will do. As long as he remembers who the protagonist is, maybe we can get something working.

 **Nestor:** I'm not just going to sit back and let Virgil decide who my long-term allies are. Last night's vote was a foot in the door, to get used to the shuffle. Now that we've had our first round, it's time to get the game _truly_ going. I haven't studied up on Total Drama for all my life just to get on this game and not play it. _(He snaps his fingers.)_

* * *

Bunko found Jeremy out on his own.

"Hey, Jeremy, good news!" Bunko told him.

"Oh? What is it?" Jeremy smiled.

"I gave Shadya a piece of my mind," Bunko said proudly. "We don't have to listen to her anymore."

"..." Jeremy's face fell.

"...What's wrong?" Bunko gulped. "Shadya was treating you badly. I thought you didn't want to work with her."

"My relationship with Shadya is... complicated," Jeremy told her. "We have our friction, sure, but she's my strongest, closest ally."

"That's just what she wants you to think!" Bunko insisted. "She wants you to think that you're friends so she can just tell you what to do and you won't question it!"

"Bunko, there is more to it than that," Jeremy sighed. "Shadya and I have talked one-on-one about these things. She's just not good at expressing her emotions."

"You're just making excuses for her," Bunko frowned.

"You don't know her, Bunko," Jeremy said firmly. "...So what did you say to her, exactly?"

"I told her off for being upset with you being friends with Rowan," Bunko told him.

"Bunko," Jeremy sighed. "I appreciate that you're looking out for me, but none of that concerns you."

"It was upsetting you. Of course it concerns me," Bunko insisted. "That's what friends are for. Looking out for each other."

"And as a friend of both you and Shadya, I want to make sure things stay good with you both," Jeremy said.

Bunko quickly walked away from the hiker.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** You can't just ignore people's faults just because you're their friend. That's how you end up with them threatening your team with a knife! Shadya's not a good person, and it pains me to see a good person like Jeremy defending her when I'm just trying to help him.

 **Jeremy:** Yes, Shadya has upset me in the past, but that's just because we're such different personalities who don't understand how the other works emotionally. We've reached a little more of an understanding since then.

* * *

Steve Jenkins approached Ginger.

"Man, can you believe the people on this team?" Steve Jenkins huffed.

"I refuse to believe that people outside this game treat you any better," Ginger commented.

"I went up to Gretchen to give her a piece of my mind, right?" Steve Jenkins continued. "And she just makes fun of me, telling me that I have no right to be mad at her for voting for me. Like she'd be any less angry if _she_ nearly got voted out. Give me a break!"

"That's great, but why are you telling me all this?" Ginger asked. "At what point have I ever indicated that I'm someone you could confide in?"

"The Best Team has to stick together," Steve Jenkins said. "We got first place in almost every challenge on the other island. People are going to be scared of our inherent awesomeness and want to vote us out. I was almost sent into that arena last night!"

"While that is shockingly reasonable logic coming from someone like you, what benefit is there in helping you out further?" Ginger asked.

"Look, I know we've never been tight before, probably because you've been too intimidated by my panty-melting good looks. That's understandable," Steve Jenkins began. "But Gretchen keeps on swearing she's going to get me voted out, and from what I've heard, she can probably pull it off."

"And that affects me negatively because...?" Ginger questioned.

"Because having Steve Jenkins on your side is the best thing you could have in this game!" Steve Jenkins insisted.

"Yeah, I'll, uh... I'll think about it," Ginger said unconvincingly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I can't believe I'm about to say this, but... there may be something to what Steve Jenkins is saying. Virgil told me all about how Gretchen was able to get full control over the Lollipops, and, at the end of the day, Steve Jenkins is a lot of things, but he's not smart enough to betray an ally. But... it's Steve Jenkins!

 **Steve Jenkins:** It's about time Steve Jenkins rallies up the troops and gets this game back on the right track! Last night was way too close for my liking. I'm going to see if I can't get Ginger and Nestor to work with me first. They've _experienced_ Steve Jenkins, so they know what's up. _(He runs his fingers through his hair.)_

* * *

Elmer and Fred met up a ways away from camp.

"You sure no one can see us?" Fred made sure.

"Even if they did, people know that we're friends. I doubt they'll care that much," Elmer said. "I just wanted to touch base with you. Hildegard and Rhiannon pulled me into an alliance with them. So that's something to keep in mind."

"Jeremy's kind of iffy on Shadya, apparently," Fred mentioned. "You think we should vote her out? Secure Jeremy's trust, or something?"

"I think Hildegard is in good with Shadya. That might be risky," Elmer admitted. "I still think we should do something about Dean or Wisdom. Personal grudges aside, they aren't really connected with the team the way everyone else is. They're both safe to vote and easy to lose."

"But what do we do after they're both gone?" Fred brought up. "We'll need to vote for _somebody_ , mans."

"I'm sure something will have come up by then," Elmer said. "Maybe something regarding Jeremy or Shadya, as you said. The point is, there's no sense in stirring the pot if others are willing to stir it for you. Let them make themselves targets."

"I like the sound of that, dawg," Fred grinned.

"Oh, hey, a random question while I have you here," Elmer remembered. "Your big voting device with Braille on it... did it have Mark's name by any chance?"

"Yeah, it was all alphabetical. His name wasn't far from Kun's," Fred confirmed.

"So he was listed as 'Mark'?" Elmer wondered.

"Why wouldn't he... Oh, that's right, Mark isn't his real name, is it?" Fred recalled. "They must have made the thing after the game started. I dunno. Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious," Elmer said truthfully.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** If Fred can keep tabs on Bunko and Jeremy, and I can keep tabs on Hildegard and Rhiannon, then we could hold a lot of power on this team just through sheer connections. Though, I may need to start talking to Shadya more, just in case.

 **Fred:** Man, Elmer and I are _in this_! We're, like, the puppet masters behind the scenes, gathering information and using it to our advantage! And, uh, the others are the puppets, I guess. Maybe "puppet master" isn't the right phrase. Whatevs! We got this!

* * *

Mark found Roxie in the same place she'd been before, albeit without a cigarette and her gas mask on.

"Oh, Roxie, there you are," Mark said. "We're about to start divvying up lunch portions."

Roxie stood there silently.

"...Roxie?" Mark prodded.

"Mark, what is your honest opinion of me?" Roxie quavered.

"My honest opinion of you?" Mark asked. "Well, even back on Team I Don't Know, I always thought you were pretty cool."

"Why?" Roxie asked.

"Well... you're just, like, doing your own thing, not caring what others think, I guess," Mark answered. "Sorry, I haven't really thought about the specifics that much."

Roxie's chest quivered.

"Roxie?" Mark prompted. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not cool, Mark!" Roxie cried. "I'll never _be_ cool! No matter what I do, people will always find something to nitpick or point out."

"Did something happen?" Mark asked.

"I'm a stupid tryhard and everyone knows it, that's what happened!" Roxie spilled. "Why do I even bother? God, I should just quit this game right now!"

"Roxie, that's not true," Mark frowned. "Ginger outright said you're one of the only people on this team she likes. Virgil specifically chose you to be on the team because he thought you were cool. You have real friends here, Roxie."

Roxie pulled Mark in for a tight hug as she wept. Mark wrapped his arms around her in return.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** Well, that was just about the most embarrassing moment of my life. I guess Mark is kind of right about Ginger and Virgil, but then again, they don't know me. Neither does Mark, for that matter.

 **Mark:** I've never seen Roxie get that emotional before. I don't know who drove her to tears, but I'm not just going to sit idly by and let that happen again.

* * *

Hildegard and Shadya had gathered firewood and were on their way back to camp.

"I dare say that this team would never survive without the two of us," Hildegard boasted.

"Are you saying that the others are getting complacent?" Shadya inquired. "Because I will not allow that."

"Mayhaps," Hildegard answered. "Though, with the two of us, anyone would be complacent in comparison."

"Obviously, but everyone should still pull their weight," Shadya hummed. "Who in particular would you say isn't pulling their weight?"

"Fred may well go without saying, but I will do so anyway" Hildegard mentioned. "Bunko, Wisdom, and Dean have yet to impress me as well, though Dean has had half the time to do so."

"I have always had an eye on Fred," Shadya nodded. "The fact of the matter is that he simply will not be able to contribute to survival as much as the others."

"Art thou suggesting a Fred vote tonight?" Hildegard inquired.

"I can think of worse options," Shadya responded.

The two returned to camp to find Dean panicking over an extinguished campfire.

"Dean! What hast thou done?!" Hildegard accused.

"I-I-I just moved one of the pieces of wood over a little bit because it wasn't burning as much! I don't know what happened!" Dean spluttered.

"If this is thy attempt to prove thyself to thy new team, then-" Hildegard began.

"Dean, if you were to vote out one of your new teammates right now, who would you choose?" Shadya asked firmly.

"Uh, well, that's, I haven't really thought about-" Dean stammered.

"First name that pops into your head. Go," Shadya urged.

"Rhiannon, I guess?" Dean answered. "Or, no, Elmer. But Rhiannon is... But Elmer is... Er, what do you two think?"

"Methinks thou cannot be relied on," Hildegard sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Since Dean has arrived here, he has extinguished the campfire, dropped a handful of berries for the team on the ground, and, worst of all, has yet to acknowledge me and my general excellence. I dare call him more of a detriment than Fred, whose existence is neither a gain nor a loss.

 **Hildegard:** Though some of my good Tough Tundras are strong and capable warriors, others aren't fit to shine my boots as a squire! The only difficult part of voting is deciding which one to vote out because it is all the same to me.

 **Dean:** Shadya and Hildegard kind of scare me. _(He gulps.)_

* * *

Virgil sat next to Liberty in the team's shelter.

"So, you voted in the minority last night, right?" Virgil mentioned.

Liberty, of course, was asleep.

"Sugarcrash," Virgil said loudly. He shook her a little bit.

"What the hell do you want?" Liberty grunted without even opening her eyes.

"Er, your name is starting to come up," Virgil lied. "I'm trying to help you out, here."

"Who cares?" Liberty asked dismissively.

"Are you even listening?" Virgil asked.

"No," Liberty said.

"Well, when you're conscious enough to realize what's going on, I'm offering you an in," Virgil told her.

"Cool. Let me sleep," Liberty groaned.

Virgil stood up, took a candy bar from his bag, and left Liberty alone.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I guess there is something to be said about being able to stay out of the drama while everyone else is constantly targeting each other, but damn is she impossible to talk to. I'm honestly tempted to just vote for her tonight.

 **Liberty:** ...Wait, was he offering me a deal? God damn it, I probably could have used that.

* * *

Dean and Wisdom approached Jeremy.

"Dean and Wisdom! How's it going?" Jeremy beamed.

"Cold," Dean answered.

"Besting the elements is what mankind does best!" Jeremy declared.

"Have you heard anything about where a potential vote may go?" Wisdom asked Jeremy. "And would you be willing to include the two of us in your plans?"

"Sadly, I haven't heard anything yet," Jeremy admitted. "At least, nothing that I'm on board with."

"What if we offered you an idea?" Wisdom proposed.

"Sure, I'm all ears," Jeremy nodded.

"What would you think about voting for Elmer or Rhiannon?" Wisdom asked. "You aren't particularly close with either of them, are you?"

"They may actually be the two people on this team who have never really spoken to me," Jeremy thought aloud. "Aside from Rhiannon choosing me in the team pick."

"I don't really trust either of them, and I don't think Wisdom does, either," Dean mentioned.

"Why trust Elmer when he outright told me he wants to vote me out? Why trust Rhiannon when she told me she'd vote one way and then did the opposite?" Wisdom agreed.

"You make some good points," Jeremy nodded. "I'll talk to some of the others about it. Maybe we can get something going."

"Keep us posted, uh, please," Dean smiled.

"Will do!" Jeremy complied.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** So Wisdom and Elmer are targeting each other, but Rhiannon apparently can't be trusted at face value. Interesting. I have no personal beef with any of them, so I'll see what Shadya thinks. She's smart; she'll know what to do.

 **Wisdom:** Why plead to Jeremy? Well, who better to reach out to than the most well-liked person on the team? Who could have more say than him? Shadya? She wouldn't listen to us, would she? But she might listen to Jeremy, right?

 **Dean:** I'll be honest: I'm worried that this might backfire spectacularly on us. There's every possibility that Elmer or Rhiannon might find out about this and then rally up the votes against me or Wisdom. Although, Elmer's already doing that, isn't he? I don't know. I'm just nervous.

* * *

Gretchen took Virgil aside where no one could see them.

"What the hell do you want, Grapes?" Virgil grunted.

"I'll have you know that your good buddy Nestor and I have been chatting as of late," Ginger said smarmily. "So you might want to start playing nice with me if you want to stay on his good side."

"Bullshit," Virgil denied. "You two have talked shit about each other behind your backs for as long as I've known either of you."

"That's just how people like us work. You wouldn't understand," Gretchen dismissed. "Anyway, it sounds like Ginger and Roxie aren't too fond of Nestor, and he's taken notice. He told me he may even want to vote one of them out."

"If you're just going to keep telling me obvious lies, then I see no reason to stick around," Virgil said.

"Now, now, what sort of protagonist just goes and lies to people?" Gretchen said in faux hurt. "Have I ever lied to you?"

"You said you were going to vote out Strawberry. And then Licorice mysteriously goes home instead," Virgil snarked. "Look, I don't have time for this. You're just desperate for allies. Go bug someone else."

Virgil walked off and headed back to camp.

"The vote is Steve Jenkins!" Gretchen called out to him.

As Virgil continued on, Mark caught up to him.

"What was that about?" Mark asked. "I thought you and Gretchen hated each other."

"Yeah, and now she's trying to throw me off my game by lying to me about Nestor working with her behind my back," Virgil scoffed. He unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in his mouth.

"How do you know she's lying?" Mark asked.

"Because Blueberry is too smart to do that," Virgil insisted.

"I don't know. Ginger told me about how Nestor flipped on Rowan," Mark brought up.

"That was a whole circumstance. This is different," Virgil said.

"Well, you know him better than I do," Mark decided. "If you think he's still with us, then I trust you."

"My vote is still for Sour Grapes and will be until she's gone," Virgil reiterated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Sour Grapes is getting to me more than she should be. She probably just tried to make a deal with Blueberry and he said yes in order to get her to back off, or to give her false security, or something!

 **Gretchen:** Well, you can't say I didn't make an effort. I don't even _like_ Virgil, and I still tried to help him out. Tsk. It's his loss.

 **Mark:** My alliance is kind of a mess, isn't it? Hopefully, we can get all our ducks in a row before the vote, because having five of us work together should mean we're all safe. I'd kind of like to stay safe.

* * *

Bunko and Fred met up in private.

"So it's just you and me, Bunko?" Fred confirmed.

"Yes," Bunko nodded. "Fred, you trust me, right?"

"Yeah," Fred smiled.

"I don't like Shadya one bit, but Jeremy swears that he keeps working with her," Bunko huffed. "I want to vote her out. She's no good for him."

"Yeah, Jeremy said something about you and Shadya earlier," Fred recalled. "I told him that Shadya makes no difference to me as long as we still have a majority."

"A majority?" Bunko asked, taken aback a bit. "That's right, we'll need at least five people to vote her out, huh?"

"We could probably get Elmer to do it," Fred suggested.

"Maybe, but that won't be enough!" Bunko emphasized. "Is there anyone else out here you trust?"

"Hey, you two," Rhiannon winked as she approached Bunko and Fred.

"Oh, hey Rhiannon," Bunko greeted back.

"Did I hear something about including Elmer in your plans?" Rhiannon asked. "Because I happen to be close personal friends with Elmer. Maybe I could help."

"When did that happen?" Bunko asked.

"Okay, 'close' and 'personal' are exaggerations," Rhiannon chuckled.

"We're scheming to vote out Shadya," Fred told her.

"Don't say 'scheming'. That makes us sound like the bad guys," Bunko frowned.

"What word would you use?" Fred asked indignantly.

"'Planning', obviously!" Bunko clarified.

Rhiannon chuckled again. "Well, the idea of a Shadya vote certainly tickles my fancy."

"Hell yeah!" Fred cheered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** Shadya isn't unbeatable! We can vote her out, just like anyone else. Once people realize this, maybe they'll stop letting her act like she runs everything.

 **Fred:** Shadya's, like, a mega threat, right? Yo, imagine if we just took out the biggest threat in the game right now! That'd be dope! Esketit!

 **Rhiannon:** A Shadya vote is risky since she could always win the duel and come back, but if she doesn't, then that could mean a lot of power for the people who pull it off. I've never been in a dominating role before. Maybe it's time to change that. _(She winks.)_

* * *

Ginger and Roxie sat in their team's shelter.

"So I finally see what you were talking about with Nestor being awful," Roxie mentioned.

"Did he ask you to donate to his Paymeon?" Ginger snickered.

"I was just minding my own business, then he shows up and talks down to me, acting like _I'm_ in the wrong for not reaching out to him," Roxie scoffed.

"Oh wow, it never got that bad before," Ginger said, almost impressed. "I guess that's what power will do to him."

"I'm voting for him tonight," Roxie said firmly.

"As much as I would love to kick his ass to the curb, I'm going to have to recommend that we don't," Ginger said.

"Excuse me?" Roxie scowled.

"We need to maintain a majority," Ginger said. "Us, Mark, Virgil, and Nestor make up five-eighths of the team. The others will be powerless before us."

"Why don't we kick Nestor out and replace him?" Roxie mentioned.

"Replace him with _whom_?" Ginger asked skeptically.

"What's up, ladies?" Steve Jenkins greeted as he approached the two and sat next to Roxie. "Now, I know you must be thinking 'What did I do _right_ for Steve Jenkins himself to approach me and include me in his plans?' Truly I am a gracious man, I know."

"Just tell us your plan so we can ignore it and continue on with our day," Ginger quipped.

"You don't remember, Ginger? I'm wounded," Steve Jenkins said. "The vote is Gretchen. Stick with me, and I may just let you in on future plans, too."

"My hero," Ginger said dryly.

"I know, I know, I'm a savior," Steve Jenkins said about as humbly as he could.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** I couldn't care less about Gretchen. Evidently, we can get rid of her whenever we want. Nestor has every reason to go home - I don't care if he and Virgil are allies.

 **Ginger:** Believe me, I absolutely know where Roxie is coming from wanting to vote out Nestor, but it just isn't viable right now. Maybe next round, but right now, stirring the pot won't do us any good.

 **Steve Jenkins:** It's a well-known fact that people are helpless in the face of a good ol' Steve Jenkins smile. What can I say? I'm a people pleaser.

* * *

Elmer found Hildegard and Shadya chatting by a river.

"Hey, you two," Elmer greeted. "Getting water for the team?"

"Nay, simply chatting away from the others," Hildegard answered.

"Do you mind if I join you? I've been meaning to pick your brain for a while anyway, Shadya," Elmer requested.

"What specifically do you wish to know?" Shadya asked.

"What your plans entail," Elmer answered. "Specifically plans of the voting persuasion."

Shadya looked at Hildegard with skepticism.

"I can vouch for Sir Elmer," Hildegard said. "He poseth no ill will."

"I'm Sir Elmer again? Nice," Elmer grinned.

"Hildegard and I have discussed a few possibilities," Shadya said. "Did you have someone in mind?"

"I'm partial to Dean or Wisdom myself," Elmer said. "I've already talked to Fred about it. I think we can get him on board, too."

"I do believe that Dean, in particular, is someone Lady Shadya wisheth leave to," Hildegard chimed in.

"...Elmer, let it be known that I am open to working with you," Shadya said. "However, I need you to do me a favor first."

"Of course," Elmer agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Elmer left a positive first impression on me when he selected me for the team pick. That impression diminished when it took him this long to really speak with me, but if Hildegard says we can trust him, then I will trust him, at least for now.

 **Hildegard:** It appeareth that my good party doth grow yet stronger by the minute! Onward we shall press, in the name of divinity!

 **Elmer:** I'll do whatever it takes to avenge Louise. This is all for her. My game is hers. Whatever it takes...

* * *

Liberty had just woken up to find Nestor sitting by the campfire nearby. She sat perpendicular to him, both facing the fire.

"Hey, look who decided to wake up," Nestor teased.

"Has saying things like that, at any point in history, ever led to anything but the person getting annoyed at you?" Liberty droned.

"Hey, when you spend hours on end making sure the campfire doesn't die, then you can complain," Nestor tsked.

"What do you think I do all night?" Liberty scoffed. "I'm not lazy. I just have a different sleep schedule than you."

"Sure, Jan," Nestor said dismissively. "So, has anyone ever said anything to you about tonight's vote?"

"I think I overheard someone talking about voting for Gretchen. Maybe," Liberty struggled to recall.

"Well, that's not going to happen," Nestor decided. "It's going to be Steve Jenkins tonight."

"You mean you haven't fallen prey to his godlike beauty and charisma? I'm shocked," Liberty snarked.

"He's cute and all, but he's also no good for anyone's game going forward," Nestor said. "Do _you_ trust him with your life in this game? I didn't think so."

Liberty yawned and stood up. "Well, I'm going to go see what the food situation is like right now. I'm dying over here."

"We literally have coconuts right here aaaand she's gone," Nestor tried saying. "...Hey, wait just a minute!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** If I didn't know better, I'd say that girl was avoiding me. She may not be the vote tonight, but I can easily turn things against her tomorrow if I really want to, and that's looking pretty damn tempting.

 **Liberty:** _(She yawns.)_ ...I forgot what I was going to say.

* * *

Twilight shone above the cape of the duel arena as the teams made their way to their respective sets of bleachers. Chris stood on the duel arena proper.

"Campers! You guys are looking lively," Chris said. "Why don't we cut to the chase and cast our votes? Remember that once you've cast your vote, it's locked in, so if you change your mind, then I hope you don't come to seriously regret your vote or anything. Hehaha."

Each contestant took their respective voting device. Some of them cast their vote right away, while others thought about it before casting theirs.

"This is getting interesting," Chris said as watched the votes come in from his phone. "Once all the votes are in, we'll reveal them one by one on each team, ultimately revealing our two duelists for tonight."

By this point, the rest of the contestants had ultimately decided on their vote.

"And now I have the results," Chris said. "If you'll direct your attention to the big screen..."

The stylized Brilliant Beaches and Tough Tundras text was placed above a T-chart on the screen. After a brief dramatic pause, a picture of a contestant appeared on either side of the chart.

...

...

...

Steve Jenkins and Shadya.

"What, _again_?" Steve Jenkins asked in disbelief.

"You can't have _not_ seen this coming," Gretchen said.

Shadya's eyebrows went up in disbelief.

...

...

...

Steve Jenkins and Shadya.

Shadya looked around at her teammates. Steve Jenkins huffed indignantly.

...

...

...

Gretchen and Fred.

"Nice try," Gretchen said to Steve Jenkins.

"I appreciate your compliment," Steve Jenkins said smugly.

Gretchen just gave him a look.

"Fred, you just got a vote," Bunko informed the boy.

"Wait, for real?" Fred asked.

...

...

...

Gretchen and Fred.

"You got two votes!" Bunko panicked to Fred.

"Wack," Fred commented.

...

...

...

Nestor and Fred.

"Um, _excuse_?" Nestor asked. "Y'all had better not be blindsiding my ass right now."

"Did I get another vote?" Fred asked Bunko.

Bunko nodded.

"...Well?" Fred asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah, you did," Bunko realized her mistake.

...

...

...

Nestor and Fred.

"I'm getting voted out, aren't I?" Fred griped.

"Shadya could still get the rest of the votes," Bunko insisted.

"What is going on here?" Mark asked nobody in particular.

...

...

...

Gretchen and Fred.

" _What_?!" Gretchen snapped.

"That's five votes for Fred. That's enough," Chris said.

The rest of the Tough Tundras' votes - all for Fred - revealed themselves on the screen. Seven votes for Fred and two votes for Shadya total.

Bunko shot Elmer a look.

"Just one more vote for the Brilliant Beaches," Chris said. "And it goes to..."

...

...

...

Gretchen's picture revealed itself. The final Brilliant Beaches vote was four votes for Gretchen, two votes for Steve Jenkins, and two votes for Nestor.

"So Gretchen and Fred are tonight's duelists," Chris announced. "If the two of you would join me down here on the arena."

The paths between the bleachers and the arena had been raised. Gretchen made it to the arena quickly, while Elmer had to direct Fred in the right direction to walk before Fred could set foot on the arena. Once both duelists made it to the platform, the paths lowered, and the ladders from the previous duel rose up.

"Fred and Gretchen," Chris began. "You have both been selected by your respective team to compete in tonight's duel. The loser of this duel must walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave the game for good."

"I did not consent to this," Gretchen said testily.

"What, you think I _did_?" Fred asked.

"Children, children, please," Chris butted in. "The duel this time is as follows: at the seafloor below us, I have hidden eight colored balls: two red, two blue, two yellow, and two green. Your job is to get me a ball of each color."

"Is that something a blind person can even do?" Gretchen asked in disbelief.

"I can do anything a seeing person can!" Fred insisted.

"You literally cannot differentiate color!" Gretchen pointed out.

"If I get two balls of the same color, Chris will tell me," Fred stated.

"That's right," Chris confirmed. "The person who brings me a ball of each color first will stay in the game. Any questions?"

"Do we have to bring them all at once, or can we do it one at a time?" Gretchen asked.

"All at once," Chris answered.

"Are we allowed to steal balls from each other?" Fred wondered.

"Sure, if you can manage it," Chris grinned.

Silence.

"Alright, if there's no further ado, let's get this duel underway!" Chris decided.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Okay, so I don't know what the _hell_ that vote was about! How hard can it be to get people to vote for _Steve Jenkins_? I'm pissed for a ton of reasons, honestly, not the least of which is because I hate swimming with a passion. At least I'm basically guaranteed to win.

 **Fred:** Alright, so I'm not going to be able to find the balls as easily as Gretchen, and I won't know what colors I've got until I check in with Chris, but that doesn't mean I'm out of this! I _can_ do this, and I sure as hell plan to!

* * *

"This duel has officially... begun!" Chris announced.

Fred, after taking some time to locate the edge of the platform, jumped off and into the water below. Gretchen opted to climb down the nearest ladder.

"That's right, Gretchen doesn't swim, huh?" Dean remembered.

"She will have to if she wishes to stand a chance," Shadya pointed out. "Even if her opponent is handicapped, dilly-dallying won't do her any good."

Fred came up for air - empty-handed - by the time Gretchen had made it down to sea level. Both duelists dove under the water to search.

"Ow! Geez! It's salt water!" Gretchen shouted as she immediately surfaced and rubbed her eyes profusely.

"So they're both going to have to search with their eyes closed?" Mark deduced.

"I guess that levels the playing field, if only a little," Ginger figured.

Fred had swum down to the seafloor and felt around for a ball. He found nothing and had to return to the surface for air. He panted a bit before diving back down.

"Man, all these duels are going to take forever, aren't they?" Steve Jenkins griped.

"We could always vote you into the next one so you'll have something to do," Nestor teased.

"That _might_ get to me if I didn't get votes these last two rounds and stayed safe anyway," Steve Jenkins pointed out.

Gretchen surfaced with a green ball in her hand.

"One down... three to go..." she panted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Thankfully, I'm able to see bits of color from above the surface. I just need to swim in that general direction, and the rest should be... well, not easy, but at least easier than Fred has it.

* * *

Fred surfaced with a blue ball in his hands.

"Hell yeah," Fred grinned to himself.

"He got one!" Bunko cheered quietly.

"Good on him," Jeremy smiled.

Bunko side-eyed the mountaineer.

"Are you serious?" Gretchen muttered to herself as she made it to the top of the platform to place her green ball there temporarily.

She looked down to the water below and, against her better judgment, jumped down into it in lieu of climbing down.

"I hate this..." Gretchen shivered as she swam around the water looking for another place to dive.

"Why isn't Fred going back up to put his ball there for safekeeping, I wonder?" Rhiannon thought aloud.

"I believe he is gifted with pockets, something his opponent lacks," Hildegard answered. "In fact, I was wondering why Gretchen would put hers there where it could easily roll off or get stolen."

"Hm, that's a good point, too," Rhiannon said. "Then again, Fred's less likely to steal a ball than Gretchen is."

"Mayhaps," Hildegard nodded.

Fred came up for breath again, this time without another ball.

"It's not over... until it's over..." Fred panted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fred:** I _will_ win this duel, y'all hear? I don't even know why I was voted into the arena, but I'm finna find out! Chris said I got at least five votes, which is absolutely wack. What did I even do, man?

* * *

Time had passed, and Gretchen had just placed a yellow ball right next to her green ball and the red ball she had also found.

"It's going to take forever to find a blue ball under the damn water," Gretchen griped as she peered over the edge of the platform. She jumped off anyway.

"Fred Vines has a blue ball, right?" Virgil pointed out. "If he knew about Sour Grapes leaving those other balls there, he could take them and win."

"Of course, we're not allowed to tell him, so it's up to him to find them," Roxie responded. "Also, 'Fred Vines'? Really?"

Virgil broke open a box of red licorice. Roxie gave him a look.

Gretchen and Fred both came up for air at the same time.

"Hey, you! How many balls do you have?!" Gretchen shouted to Fred.

"None of your beeswax!" Fred called back.

"You'd better not have two blue balls!" Gretchen accused.

"My sex life is none of your business!" Fred called before diving back underwater.

"Now you wait just a minute there, buster!" Gretchen shouted as she swam towards him.

"Did he get the other blue ball?" Wisdom struggled to recall.

"If he did, he showed no sign of such," Hildegard answered. "Perhaps his boons lieth within his pockets."

"Yo, hands off!" Fred cried as he and Gretchen wrestled in the water. "Gretchen's hands are in my pants! Gretchen's trying to get my balls out of my pants!"

"Shut your idiot trap, you... idiot!" Gretchen retorted.

Fred reached for Gretchen's skirt.

"What the fresh hell are you doing?!" Gretchen snapped.

"What, are your balls not in your pockets?" Fred asked.

"I don't _have_ pockets!" Gretchen shouted.

"So, wait, if you aren't holding onto your balls, then..." Fred put two and two together, threw Gretchen off of him, and swam towards the ladder.

"No! _NO!_ " Gretchen objected before swimming after him.

Fred found the ladder and began climbing up quickly. Gretchen trailed behind him, swimming slowly.

"Is this happening?" Rhiannon asked.

"I think it's happening," Elmer said, impressed.

Fred made it up to the platform and got on his hands and knees, feeling around for where Gretchen kept the balls she'd found.

Soon enough, Gretchen made it to the platform as well. Fred paused as soon as she set foot on it.

"Tell me you did not feel me stepping on the arena," Gretchen grunted.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," Fred grinned.

Gretchen ran up to Fred and kicked him in the stomach. The blind boy collapsed onto the platform, giving Gretchen enough time to steal a blue ball from his pocket, run up to the rest of her balls, collect them, and turn them in to Chris.

"And we have our winner!" Chris announced. "Gretchen remains in this game another day!"

Fred coughed as he shakily got back onto his feet. "That was a dirty way to win," he grunted.

"What was I supposed to do? Wait for you to find the other balls and just hand you the win?" Gretchen spat. "I'm the protagonist. I was simply thinking outside the box since the odds were stacked against me. Didn't you watch shonen anime as a kid? It's like that."

"Well, Fred, I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but this means you're out of the game," Chris said as he approached the boy.

"I... did my best," Fred breathed. "Anyone could have... lost the way I did."

The bridges between the bleachers and the arena, and the Dock of Shame and the arena rose from the water. The Tough Tundras made their way onto the platform, as did Mark and Roxie.

"Fred..." Bunko frowned before giving her friend a hug. "I was the only one not to vote for you."

"Really?" Fred asked.

"I'm sorry, man," Elmer said as he put his hand on Fred's shoulder. "I'll explain everything as soon as I can. Let it be known that I was rooting for you to win that duel."

"It was a valiant effort," Jeremy added.

"You did better than I expected," Roxie admitted.

"Aw, Roxie..." Fred sighed. "Losing sucks ass, but you can't say I didn't do everything I could to survive."

"That's the spirit," Mark smiled.

"I guess I'd better go," Fred said as he walked slightly to the left towards the Dock of Shame.

"A little to the right!" Elmer called.

"I knew that!" Fred insisted as he corrected his path. With one last smile to his old teammates, he made his way down the Dock.

"That's great and all, but it's time for me to make a decision," Gretchen mentioned. "I get to pick which team to return to!"

"Yeah, I was just about to get to that," Chris said, annoyed. "So, what's your decision?"

"I choose to return to the Brilliant Beaches," Gretchen declared.

"Why did you make such a big deal out of it when you're just going back to your old team?" Chris sighed. "You know what, don't answer that. Everyone is dismissed!"

The contestants all made their way back towards their respective camps.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Sure, I _could_ go back to Dean and Wisdom, the two worst allies a girl could ask for, or I could keep working over the Beaches, who, despite the unfortunate vote tonight, are not unsalvageable by any means. As I said, I'm the protagonist. Things _will_ go my way.

 **Elmer:** Well, this sucks. But Shadya insisted that I vote for Fred in order to gain her trust, and, even though Fred's cool and all, I'm going to need stronger allies than him. He really had me going, almost winning that duel. Damn shame.

* * *

Chris remained on the arena platform.

"It took a lot longer than I think anyone expected, but Fred finally walked the Dock," Chris said. "Will Gretchen regret returning to the team that voted her into the arena? Will Elmer regret voting his closest ally into the arena? What's Ginger's deal with Mark? What's Jeremy's deal with Shadya? What's the deal with airline food? The answers to all these questions just might be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Gretchen - Ginger, Mark, Steve Jenkins, Virgil

Nestor - Liberty, Roxie

Steve Jenkins - Gretchen, Nestor

 **Tough Tundras:**

Fred - Dean, Elmer, Hildegard, Jeremy, Rhiannon, Shadya, Wisdom

Shadya - Bunko, Fred

* * *

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

Liberty - The Sleepyhead

Mark - The Amnesiac

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet

Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Tough Tundras:**

Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist

Dean - The Eternal Loser

Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

Hildegard - The Paladin

Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: Fred was the very last character I added to this cast, and he's a character I'm glad I ended up including. Up until maybe a month before I started writing, I had a different character in his place: a shut-in otaku who wanted nothing to do with anything or anyone and just wanted to be left alone, but then I realized that most of those things already describe Liberty, so, at the last second, I changed him out for a character I had planned for a potential future season._

 _As far as development changes that occurred during the writing process, originally Fred was the fifth boot, and Hiram was the eighth boot, but I enjoyed writing Fred a whole lot more then Hiram, so Fred was granted a few more episodes to be fun and over-the-top. I think, overall, Fred was well-liked? I'm certainly not disappointed in how he turned out. What did you guys think of Fred?_


	11. Maybe You're Just A Prude

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the Dock of Shame. "In our last episode, deals were being formed left and right on both teams as everyone clamored to get their way in the night's vote. Dean and Wisdom ultimately made up after their old fight, while Nestor and Roxie started a fight of their own. Steve Jenkins started a crusade against Gretchen, and Bunko started a crusade against Shadya. Elmer expanded his horizons, while Mark solidified his. Liberty's starting to lose her ability to blend in, while Hildegard seems to be getting better at it.

"The Brilliant Beaches ended up with a split vote: two votes for Nestor, two votes for Steve Jenkins, and four votes for Gretchen. The Tough Tundras, on the other hand, had a near-unanimous vote for Fred. The two ousted contestants were tasked with finding four differently-colored balls under the water and handing them to me. It came closer than one might expect, but in the end, Gretchen won her spot back in the game, leaving Fred out of sight and out of mind. Hehaha.

"Will things continue to heat up? Will shots be fired? And who will fall victim to tonight's duel? Watch and find out, dear viewer! This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The morning after Fred's elimination, Elmer and Shadya had set off to gather food.

"This morning seems colder than the last," Shadya pointed out. "I hope this does not become a trend."

"Mm," Elmer nodded.

"Not that I can't handle it. I climbed Mount Everest for goodness' sake," Shadya added. "Not to mention my training for the world record for longest time sitting under a cold waterfall. But if it's too cold for everyone else, they'll just get complacent, and I won't stand for that."

"Mhm," Elmer nodded.

"You cannot still be upset about Fred's departure," Shadya said in disbelief.

"Can I at least ask why you wanted to vote for him?" Elmer asked. "I did what you said, knowing full well that he would more than likely lose the duel because I do want to work with you and I do want to earn your trust. But why Fred?"

"Well, that's precisely it," Shadya said. "If I asked you to vote out anyone else, it would be no issue for you. Fred is someone who was not contributing to the team as much as the rest, so the planets could not have aligned more perfectly for me."

"I guess that's all well and good for you," Elmer sighed. "But-"

"Fred was also still close with Bunko," Shadya interrupted. "Bunko, as I recall, is someone you wish to distance yourself from."

"Not as much as Dean or Wisdom," Elmer refuted.

"Bunko is someone who I am trusting less and less by the minute," Shadya said. "Her voting for me last night was the final straw. I think the vote shall be for her tonight."

"What? What about our deal?" Elmer scowled. "Hildegard said you wanted Dean out."

"That is what Hildegard said. That is not what I said," Shadya said firmly. "As soon as Bunko leaves us, then we are free to set our sights on Dean and Wisdom."

"I see..." Elmer said.

"I am only doing what is best for the team," Shadya insisted. "As I am the smartest person in the game, you should have faith in my machinations."

"If you say so," Elmer said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I wonder what the view is like so far up Shadya's own ass. ...That came out wrong. My point is: despite what she thinks, Shadya does not have the final say in who goes home. If I want Dean or Wisdom gone, I guess I'm just going to have to get that done without her help.

 **Shadya:** Fred was simply too well-connected for my liking. He was, of note, friends with Bunko, Elmer, and Jeremy. By eliminating him, not only are we rid of someone who does not contribute to camp, but I have weakened Bunko, and solidified Elmer's and Jeremy's reliance on me. I know such a genius plan must be blowing your minds. Rest assured, this will not be the last you'll see of my brilliance.

* * *

Nestor and Virgil met up away from camp.

"Alright, so, do you know what the hell was up with me getting two votes last night?" Nestor asked.

"I mean, Sour Grapes told me something about Gingersnap and Toxic Waste not getting along with you, but I can't trust her as far as I can throw her," Virgil mentioned.

"Oh my god," Nestor grumbled. "So much for them wanting to include me in the alliance."

"I don't know, man," Virgil said as he popped a piece of chewing gum. "You want one?"

"Yes please," Nestor agreed as he took a piece of his own. "But, anyway, I think you can trust Gretchen. She and I started talking, discussing plans and such."

"Seriously?!" Virgil objected. "I told you she's, like, the one person I wanted to go now that Dean's on the other team."

"Well, it's like you said, that other group doesn't really care for me," Nestor said. "But hey, if you and I play double agent, maybe we can get by _without_ me getting votes for petty reasons."

"So, what, you want me to fake loyalty to the others?" Virgil asked.

"All we need is to get rid of Ginger," Nestor suggested. "If we try voting for Roxie, it'd probably just piss Mark off, and I want to keep our options open. Come on, we can afford to lose Ginger at least, right?"

Virgil sighed. "I'll think about it."

"You, Gretchen, and I should have a little powwow sometime today," Nestor thought aloud. "We can sort things out then. For now, just talk to the others like you normally would."

"Alrighty then," Virgil said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Blueberry and I promised we'd look out for each other, in light of neither of us really having any other allies at the time. Now, I like Mystery Pop, and his friends are fine, too, but I'm not just going to ditch Blueberry like that. Maybe I should check with Mystery Pop and see how close he is to Gingersnap. Just in case.

 **Nestor:** See, I was perfectly content with just voting out Steve Jenkins and Liberty, but now that that alliance has officially voted for me, shots have been fired, and this. Means. War! I hope I can trust Virgil, here. If all else fails, I'll need at least either Steve Jenkins or Liberty to vote with me. I'll get both of them if I have to.

* * *

Bunko and Dean had gone off to gather water.

"So, hey, I'm not mad, I promise, but why'd you vote for Fred last night?" Bunko asked.

"Oh, Fred?" Dean asked. "Well, I knew my name had been going around quite a bit. I figured it was either me or him. I had nothing against him - I didn't even really know him that well."

"Would you have voted for Shadya last night if you knew she was a vote?" Bunko interrogated.

"I-I mean, probably?" Dean stammered. "Why, are you offering that we work together? Oh my god, Dean, don't just assume that you idiot."

"Actually, that's exactly what I was offering," Bunko giggled. "I've been thinking about this a whole lot. You, me, Wisdom, Jeremy, and Rhiannon. A perfect alliance!"

"Rhiannon? I'm not sure we can trust Rhiannon," Dean said.

"Why not? Because she's a sexually liberated woman who doesn't conform to your patriarchal standards of purity? _Hm_?" Bunko accused.

"What? No!" Dean cried. "Because she backstabbed Kun. At least that's what Wisdom told me."

"Hm, yeah, I guess she did, didn't she?" Bunko realized. "Well, if she's got a spot in a majority, she won't need to backstab us, so I wouldn't worry about that."

"That's okay. I've got enough worrying in me for three people, anyway," Dean said with a resigned chuckle.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Maybe I'm just a worrywart, but I just don't see Rhiannon sticking with an alliance of people she barely knows. In fact, Jeremy's pretty close to Shadya, isn't he? He did tell me and Wisdom about the Fred vote last night, so he might not be a lost cause, but I don't know.

 **Bunko:** _(She holds up her sketchbook with a caricature of Dean.)_ That's another one in the books! It wasn't easy getting him to sit still and just let me draw him, which is why he looks like he's going to burst into tears at any moment. Exaggeration is key.

* * *

Ginger found Roxie smoking on her own in the jungle.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ginger called.

"Why is everyone always looking for me?" Roxie sighed as she discarded her finished cigarette and immediately lit another one.

"What were those Nestor votes last night all about?" Ginger accused.

"I said I was voting for him," Roxie grunted. "We got the majority against Gretchen anyway. I just wanted to send a message to Nestor."

"Are you insane?!" Ginger snapped.

"I thought it was clear that we were kicking Nestor from the alliance and adding Steve Jenkins instead," Roxie scowled. "Calm down."

"We don't need to make any enemies," Ginger sighed. "Anyway, I talked to Mark last night, and he swears he wasn't the other Nestor vote. Who was?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Roxie said. "What about Liberty? Nestor could have pissed her off, too."

"Honestly, that's not even implausible," Ginger conceded. "We should probably talk to her, too. At a time when she's ready to talk."

"So, the middle of the night?" Roxie snarked.

"We'll keep an eye on her. She can't sleep for the entire day," Ginger devised.

"You can keep an eye on her. I'm keeping my distance from the others," Roxie said. "...I don't want Nestor calling me out in front of everyone."

Ginger sighed. "Fine. But just today. You'll have to face the others at some point."

"I know," Roxie sighed. She took a long drag of her cigarette.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** What kind of coward can't even take responsibility for her own stupid impulse vote? _(She lights another cigarette.)_

 **Ginger:** So my alliance is a mess and a half, go figure. I guess it's up to me to keep things going. Steve Jenkins and Liberty aren't my first choice in allies, but we can't count on Nestor, and now I'm kind of iffy on Roxie, so we'll need their votes if we want to get by.

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon tended to their team's campfire.

"So, you're aligned with Shadya, right?" Rhiannon asked.

"Unofficially," Hildegard said. "I do believe the two of us trusteth one another."

"Do you think we should add her to our alliance with Elmer?" Rhiannon thought aloud. "Maybe Jeremy, too."

"Frankly, I had assumed this to already be the case," Hildegard said. "Unofficially, of course. We all voted for Fred, aye?"

"That's true," Rhiannon figured. "I just wanted to make sure everyone's on the same page. Communication is important, you know~"

"Why doth even the most innocuous statement sound perverted from thy lips?" Hildegard asked.

"Maybe you're just a prude," Rhiannon huffed.

"I am no such thing!" Hildegard insisted. "I saveth my virtue to bestow unto him who I shalt take in holy matrimony. This simply maketh me wise and patient."

"Look, we obviously have very different points of view about this kind of thing. Can we put that aside in order to work together?" Rhiannon asked. "You're the person I trust the most in this game, and if I may be so bold, I think I'm the person you trust the most in this game, too."

"Thou art not wrong about that," Hildegard admitted. "Alright, I shall see to it that I hold my tongue on these matters."

"And I'll try to keep the innuendos to a minimum when you're around," Rhiannon winked. "The key word being 'try'."

"And I, the same," Hildegard nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Though she is a... woman of sport, Rhiannon has proven herself an ally of mine time and again. If anyone is going to help me make it far, it is she.

 **Rhiannon:** I never thought I'd be friends with someone like Hildegard in a million years, and yet, here we are. The clash between personalities is definitely present, but we're going to need to work together if we want to make it in this game. And I think we can make it work. _(She winks.)_

* * *

Gretchen found Steve Jenkins and approached him.

"Hey," Gretchen said insincerely. "I know we've had our differences in the past, but-"

"I'm going to cut you off right there," Steve Jenkins said. "Everybody has their differences from Steve Jenkins. That's what makes me so special. If the populace at large was too similar to Steve Jenkins, then there wouldn't _be_ Steve Jenkins."

"Look, I voted for you last night, you voted for me last night," Gretchen said impatiently. "But there's also a very obvious and tight alliance of Ginger, Mark, Roxie, and Virgil. Alliances like that can and will use whoever they need to to get by. People like you, last night. They're going to destroy us all if we don't do something."

"Say no more," Steve Jenkins said. "I'm in."

"Come on, just think abou- Wait, you're in?" Gretchen questioned.

"Look, I'm Steve Jenkins. I'm not just some pawn to be used to further the goals of others," Steve Jenkins said.

"So you'll help me in my plans?" Gretchen asked, almost skeptically.

"That's right!" Steve Jenkins confirmed.

"...Cool. So, I'm thinking we vote for Ginger at our earliest convenience," Gretchen suggested.

"Yeah, she and I were never close. I can do that," Steve Jenkins grinned.

"...Good talk," Gretchen said as she left him alone.

"All talk with Steve Jenkins is good talk!" Steve Jenkins pointed out.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** That was way too easy. Steve Jenkins is a moron, but there's no way I swayed him _that_ quickly. Ugh, damn it! I need at least four votes to tie. Nestor, I think I can trust. Liberty, I'm going to work on. Virgil, Nestor swears he can get, but I don't know. I'm honestly starting to wonder if I should have just gone back to Dean and Wisdom. And _that's_ saying something.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Alright, so here's the thing: Have you ever had a dream where you and someone you barely know went on this super fun date, and you guys had all this great chemistry, and then, when you wake up, you realize that you might have fallen for that person? I don't know, man, there's just... something about Gretchen. I don't know.

* * *

Jeremy and Wisdom had gone on a hike along the crags near their camp.

"I'm going to use my entire canteen doing this, aren't I?" Wisdom panted.

"We can take a break if you need to," Jeremy offered.

Wisdom sat on a rock to catch her breath. "Hey, I know it wasn't in the cards last night, but do you think we could get an Elmer or Rhiannon vote going tonight?"

"We might be able to get something going against Rhiannon," Jeremy said. "It all depends on what Shadya's good with."

"Why?" Wisdom asked. "Couldn't we get someone else's vote if Shadya won't do it?"

"Wisdom, you know Shadya's my closest ally," Jeremy sighed. "She and I are working together, to benefit each other."

"Dean and I are on her radar, though, aren't we?" Wisdom mentioned. "Will you vote for us because she wants to? Does your veto matter as much as hers?"

"Look, Rhiannon is our best bet right now," Jeremy said. "I'll talk to Shadya about a Rhiannon vote later today." Jeremy cracked his neck. "Come on, I found a spot with a great view of the tundra. Follow me!"

Wisdom got up off the rock and followed the hiker as he set off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Am I misguided in putting trust towards Jeremy? Yes, he's been friendly to Dean and me, but he's friendly to everyone, right? But where else can we turn? Bunko? Rhiannon herself? _(She looks pensive.)_

 **Jeremy:** I feel for Dean and Wisdom. It can't be fun being on the outs without a whole lot you can do about it. I can't guarantee their safety throughout the rest of Kairi Island, but I will push for a Rhiannon vote tonight. It's the least I can do for them.

* * *

Mark sat in his team's shelter next to Liberty, who had just stirred awake.

"Morning," Mark chuckled.

"Oh, you," Liberty realized. "So, you and Ginger, huh?"

"...What about me and Ginger?" Mark asked, confused.

"I see you two sneaking off at night when you think everyone's asleep," Liberty grinned.

"I'm... not going anywhere at night," Mark said. "I pretty much go straight to sleep once it gets dark. Are you sure you're not mistaking someone else for me?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's you," Liberty said. "Does Roxie know about this?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about!" Mark said, frustrated.

"Does Roxie know you're cheating on her?" Liberty snickered.

"Roxie and I aren't even... more than friends," Mark blushed. "What's your angle here, Liberty?"

"Just curious," Liberty said innocently. "Did you forget that flirting with multiple girls is generally frowned upon?"

"Ginger and I aren't even that close," Mark said. "And, unless I'm sleepwalking or something, I'm not going anywhere with her at night."

"I will say, you're doing a better job denying it than Ginger," Liberty yawned.

"Because I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about," Mark grumbled. "You know what, if you're just going to mess with me like this, then I don't need to talk to you."

Mark stood up and left the shelter. Liberty went back to sleep.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I did a better job denying it than Ginger? What does that...? Is... Does... Ginger... My memory... No, that's... That's ridiculous... Right?

 **Liberty:** Maybe I'll follow them next time. _(She yawns.)_ I've got nothing to lose with those two at this point.

* * *

Elmer and Rhiannon met up in their team's shelter.

"So I talked to Shadya about a Dean or Wisdom vote," Elmer mentioned. "She refuses to vote for anyone but Bunko, though."

"It sounds to me like you're sticking to your guns on those other two, though," Rhiannon purred.

"Bunko and I aren't close or anything, but I only did what Shadya wanted last night because she said she was interested in getting rid of them, and told me she would do this if I voted for Fred," Elmer frowned. "I will not have her go back on this."

"Good for you, sticking it to the man," Rhiannon encouraged. "Well, the woman in this case. You know what I mean."

"My only concern is securing the votes," Elmer said. "We'll need five for a majority. If Shadya won't vote for them, and obviously they won't, then I'll need literally everyone else on the team, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to get any of them to listen."

"You don't necessarily need _every_ vote," Rhiannon smiled. "Remember the Beaches' vote last night? Only half the team actually voted for Gretchen, but with the vote split, four became the majority. Also, keep in mind that Shadya could change her mind if the tide changes in your favor."

"I suppose," Elmer figured. "I suppose my first question is: are you on board with this?"

"I can be... _flexible_ ," Rhiannon winked.

Elmer gave her a look.

"I'll talk it over with Hildegard, you talk it over with Bunko," Rhiannon suggested.

"Sounds good," Elmer agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I'm still not entirely sure about Rhiannon, honestly. She's always given off a vibe that she's not telling me everything, that coy little attitude she has. So far, she's given me no reason not to trust her, though, and she did notably alienate Wisdom with the Kun vote, so this could work in her favor as well.

 **Rhiannon:** Dean has never really spoken to me, and I think Wisdom actively avoids me. I certainly wouldn't mind taking them out of the picture if I can. I just hope we can get the votes to get this done.

* * *

Ginger found Nestor on his own and approached him.

"Hey," Ginger prefaced. "I know you're probably worried about you getting votes last night."

"Yes, and something tells me those votes were by people who shouldn't be voting for me," Nestor huffed.

"I told Roxie not to do it," Ginger griped. "What the hell did you say to her?"

"Nothing! I was just trying to strike up a conversation and she was being standoffish," Nestor insisted. "Maybe I got a bit defensive when that happened, but I didn't, like, give her a list of reasons why she sucks or anything."

"Well, we think the other vote was Liberty," Ginger said. "I'm thinking we should just put our differences aside and vote for her. What good is keeping her around going to do, anyway?"

"Aw, she's funny," Nestor smiled.

"She's also annoying, and not likely to come back from the arena alive," Ginger said flatly.

"I know, I know," Nestor assuaged. "Just the Total Drama fan in me talking. It's crazy how popular the funny-yet-annoying-and-irrelevant characters get."

"Just tell me you're good to vote for Liberty," Ginger said impatiently.

"I'm good, boo. Calm your long-neglected tits," Nestor snarked.

"What's wrong? Jealous that mine are smaller than yours?" Ginger smirked.

"If it means I get more dick than you do, then I must be doing something right," Nestor retaliated.

"It must be difficult being so basic that you think the quantity of sexual exploits holds any value," Ginger said before walking off.

"Hey! Don't act like you just won this!" Nestor objected.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Nestor thinks he's the sassiest bitch on the island? I've only been using 10% of my power. Honestly, I wouldn't even be opposed to voting him out at this point. Shots have already been fired. I might as well make sure none of them hit me.

 **Nestor:** You know who else is funny yet annoying and irrelevant? I'll give you a hint: she's been off everyone's radar for too long. The best part is Gretchen and I already decided on a Ginger vote, so this just sets that in stone.

* * *

Dean and Wisdom had gone on a walk away from camp.

"So, I talked to Bunko," Dean began. "She's dead set on voting for Shadya, but she is interested in working with us. She mentioned a potential alliance with us, Jeremy, and, well, Rhiannon."

"Rhiannon?" Wisdom asked. "Why does she trust Rhiannon? Have they spent any meaningful time together?"

"It all makes sense in Bunko's head, I'm sure," Dean figured. "You talked to Jeremy, right? Any luck?"

Wisdom nodded slightly. "He's on board with voting for Rhiannon, so that's something, right? Do you think Bunko and Shadya might be able to put their rivalry aside and vote her out?"

"Frankly, I'm not putting money on it," Dean admitted.

"Do you think we can pull another Jim and split the votes?" Wisdom suggested.

"Maybe," Dean figured. "If the two of us plus Jeremy and maybe Shadya vote for Rhiannon, Bunko votes for Shadya, and the other three vote for I guess Bunko... that _could_ work. Shadya's kind of- okay, she's really stubborn, though. I can't imagine she'd go for it."

"...Could we get it to work next round if we vote Shadya off this round?" Wisdom wondered.

"You know what, I think we could," Dean responded. "...But we'll need to, well, vote her off first, and that's a lot easier said than done, especially with the whole 'arena' thing."

"But there's still a chance, right?" Wisdom figured. "Perhaps we should switch tactics? Could we get some of the others to vote for Shadya?"

"Probably not Hildegard, but... Elmer and Rhiannon might," Dean answered.

"The ones most likely to vote for us?" Wisdom questioned.

"You're right. What was I thinking?" Dean cringed. "God, I'm such an idiot. Why did I think for a second that-"

Dean cut himself off when he saw Wisdom's look of discomfort.

"Sorry about that," Dean apologized.

"Talking to them is worth a shot, isn't it?" Wisdom figured.

"I don't know," Dean answered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** I don't know, a lot of this seems like too much of a long shot. I think keeping the vote on Rhiannon might make more sense at this point. But I trust Wisdom more than I trust myself with these things, so we'll stick with her plan.

 **Wisdom:** Is Shadya truly so well-connected? Are any votes really set in stone? Who says we can't turn a foe into a friend to take out a common threat? It's worth trying... right?

* * *

Mark found Roxie sitting by herself with a cigarette and sat next to her.

"Hey, do you mind if I vent about memory stuff again?" Mark asked.

"I'd rather you didn't," Roxie said bluntly.

"You're not doing well, either?" Mark inquired.

"I'm too scared to face Nestor head-on after voting for him," Roxie said before taking another drag. "I've been hiding here and smoking pretty much non-stop all day. Basically, I'm the most pathetic human being of all time."

"What are you so scared of Nestor for?" Mark questioned.

Roxie scoffed. "He could tear into me, go on a huge rant about everything that's wrong with me. When did you get so judgmental?"

"Look, if you can be curt when I come to you with problems, expect the same in return," Mark frowned. "Especially since you didn't even let me voice mine."

"...It's that bad, huh?" Roxie asked.

"Liberty kept on pressing me about something I have no memory of doing," Mark said. "She could just be messing with me, but, I mean, I've forgotten pretty much everything else about my past. Who's to say I'm not forgetting things that are happening at night? And _why_ am I forgetting these things? Is someone responsible? Does my brain just not work right? What is _wrong_ with me?!"

Mark began panting. Roxie put her hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, I-"

Mark stopped talking once he realized Roxie only used him to lift herself back onto her feet and walk towards a nearby bush to throw up. Mark stood up and held Roxie's pigtails back before she heaved again.

"Too much smoking?" Mark guessed.

"Just doing this as a friendly reminder that I'm not nearly as cool as you seem to think I am," Roxie remarked groggily.

"You're someone I can confide in. That's pretty cool if you ask me," Mark said with a weak smile.

Roxie did not respond.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I left out the part where Ginger is involved in these supposed overnight events. This is for me to discuss with Ginger. This is my issue. Also, I don't want Roxie to get the wrong idea like Liberty has. That could make things... needlessly complicated.

 **Roxie:** ...So Liberty's caught Mark doing... _something_ overnight, huh? I may have to ask her about it. If all else fails, I can stay up a bit later than normal and see if he does anything out of the ordinary. ...It's the least I can do since he listens to me and everything. _(She puts her gas mask back on.)_

* * *

Bunko found Hildegard practicing routines with her lance.

"Whoa!" Bunko said in awe.

"Good morrow, young Bunko!" Hildegard greeted. "Impressed by my lancework, eh?"

"I've never seen anything like it," Bunko smiled excitedly.

"True, precious few are as dedicated to the way of the paladin as I," Hildegard boasted. "Didst thou know that I crafted this fine weapon myself?"

"Really?" Bunko asked excitedly.

"Indeed. Verily, I located a blacksmith and, though the materials and equipment cost a knave's fortune, I was able to forge mine own steel!" Hildegard recounted

"It looks like it's gotten a lot of use," Bunko noticed.

"Tch. Not the least of which was the challenge wherein we were to retrieve a bear," Hildegard scoffed. "I am ever grateful to whoever took it upon themselves to repair it. It is not the same, and yet, it reflects my true experiences, no?"

"That's a great way to look at it," Bunko smiled. "Kind of like how I draw caricatures of everyone for the memories."

"In a way, I suppose," Hildegard supposed. "In any case, I shan't fall behind on my lancework! One can never tell for sure when such a skill may prove beneficial."

"Ooh! Can I use it when you're done?" Bunko asked enthusiastically.

"Absolutely not," Hildegard shot down. "Only a level four or above paladin may wield such hallowed arms!"

"What level paladin am I?" Bunko asked.

"Zero," Hildegard answered flatly.

"Then I'd better go level up!" Bunko decided before running off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of Hildegard, but... I actually don't know how to level up as a paladin! _(She hangs her head.)_

 **Hildegard:** Even if nobody wisheth to be rid of me, that is no excuse for complacency! Kirkland and Fred never suspected that their own eliminations loomed close, yet behold! A good knight must always be diligent and prepare for anything.

* * *

Virgil approached Gretchen.

"I spoke to Blueberry," Virgil said. "So you really are working together, huh?"

"Why Virgil, if I didn't know better, I'd think you didn't trust me," Gretchen pouted.

"He also said something about voting for Gingersnap," Virgil continued. "Have you spoken to anyone else about it?"

"Actually, I spoke to the friendly neighborhood Steve Jenkins, and he said he's in," Gretchen boasted. "And then there's Liberty, who couldn't care less about the game and will vote for whoever. And, if my memory of the rulebook is correct, the rock-drawing tiebreaker applies unless otherwise stated, and it wasn't otherwise stated."

"You can't honestly think that being so constantly smug is going to make me any more likely to work with you," Virgil scoffed. " _You_ need _my_ vote. Not the other way around."

"Then why did _you_ approach _me_?" Gretchen asked.

"To see if it was at all worth working with you," Virgil answered. "And wouldn't you know it, you're still the same old Sour Grapes."

"Wow, I can't believe this rampant transphobia," Gretchen bemoaned sarcastically.

"Can it, Gretchen. That card has never worked on me and never will," Virgil dismissed shortly. "I hope you liked the arena the first time around. You won't be separated much longer."

Virgil stuck a lollipop in his mouth and walked away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I'm starting to see where Toxic Waste was coming from. Obviously, I have an easier time tolerating Blueberry than she does, but Gretchen - who doesn't deserve a nickname at this point - is really pissing me off. God bless democracy, am I right?

 **Gretchen:** Virgil thinks he's so cool now, but he will 100% come crawling back after I get all the rest of the votes I need and become the new majority. And then he'll get all tsundere about it, eventually develop out of it, and become that classic enemy-turned-ally like Zuko from Avatar. Just watch.

* * *

Jeremy and Shadya had hiked to the top of the path he'd tried taking Wisdom on.

"...and we almost made it to the top, but she insisted that she was too exhausted," Jeremy told Shadya. "It can be easy to forget that some people are not used to such exciting prospects of nature as we are!"

"Frankly, I cannot fathom why you would make any attempt with Wisdom," Shadya said. "She is impossible to speak to, and holds nothing resembling loyalty to me anyway."

"Aw, she's nice enough. Just kind of awkward," Jeremy said. "But anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about with you."

"Oh?" Shadya prompted.

"What would you say about a potential Rhiannon vote tonight?" Jeremy pitched.

"Out of the question," Shadya shot down. "Rhiannon has voted with me in both votes thus far, as opposed to Bunko, who has voted _for_ me."

"Look, Shadya, I like you and all, but I can't support your crusade against Bunko," Jeremy frowned. "Just like I'm not supporting Bunko's crusade against you. Which is why I think Rhiannon would be a good compromise. She isn't particularly close to either of you nor to me. Wisdom even mentioned an alliance between her, Rhiannon, and Kun, and as you said, Rhiannon voted for Kun. I don't think we can necessarily trust her."

Shadya thought for a second. "I'm not voting for Rhiannon," she said.

Jeremy sighed. "Well, I'm not voting for Bunko. Is there any other option you're willing to consider?"

"Wisdom," Shadya said. "Wisdom or Bunko. Those are the only options I am willing to consider."

Jeremy took a deep breath.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** Why is it that Shadya always wants to vote out people I'm making friends with? Is this her way of trying to force me to get over my feelings for her? Because... it's working.

 **Shadya:** Even if Jeremy isn't willing to vote for Wisdom, I know Elmer is, and I imagine Rhiannon and Hildegard would be, as well. Bunko and Dean can wait. Right now, eliminating Wisdom is my best bet after all.

* * *

Steve Jenkins sat next to Liberty in the shelter.

"Hey, Liberty. You awake?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"No," Liberty answered.

"We're planning a sick blindside against Ginger tonight. Just thought you should know," Steve Jenkins told her.

"Ginger?" Liberty opened her eyes and sat up. "Why on Earth would we vote for Ginger?"

"I don't know. You'd have to ask Gretchen," Steve Jenkins shrugged. "But, like, who really cares about Ginger?"

"I'll have you know that Ginger is hiding something veeeery interesting," Liberty snickered.

"Okay, then I'll just ask her about it, and _then_ vote her off," Steve Jenkins scoffed. "It doesn't take a genius to figure these things out, Libs."

Liberty yawned. "Let's just vote for someone who doesn't contribute and can't win a duel. Like Nestor or someone."

Steve Jenkins gave her a skeptical look. "I'll think about it," he said.

"There were votes for him last night. It's not like it couldn't happen," Liberty droned before drifting back off to sleep.

Steve Jenkins leaned in close to Liberty. "You want to vote for Ginger. You want to vote for Ginger. You want to vote for Ginger," he whispered into her ear. "Heh heh. Yeah. Steve Jenkins: master of subliminal psychology."

Steve Jenkins began improvising his own theme music as he moonwalked away from the scene.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** But is Liberty even wrong about Nestor being a good pick? You all remember the Rowan vote, right? It only _became_ the Rowan vote because of him. I still don't trust him all that much. ...But... Gretchen does. This is tough.

 **Liberty:** Between Steve Jenkins' sudden loyalty to Nestor, and the fact that he was mumbling Gretchen's name in his sleep, one can't help but wonder if he's also hiding something veeeeery interesting. _(She chuckles.)_

* * *

Rhiannon met up with Hildegard after the paladin just finished her training.

"Keeping warm?" Rhiannon asked.

"Verily," Hildegard panted. "What hast thou heard amongst the barracks?"

"Well, Bunko and Shadya are dead set on voting for each other, but Elmer and I have discussed bigger plans," Rhiannon tittered. "What would you say about voting for Wisdom?"

"Art thou sure such plans will succeed?" Hildegard asked. "I have trouble imagining anyone else on this team voting for her, if what thou sayest about Bunko and Shadya rings true."

"Elmer should be talking to Bunko as we speak," Rhiannon said. "Jeremy will probably vote however Shadya wants, but, unless Dean and Wisdom also vote for Bunko, four votes should be enough."

"If we can get a potential fourth vote, then you have mine as well," Hildegard said. "Otherwise, it seems most prudent to stick with the Bunko vote."

"Honestly, I could go either way here, but Elmer is passionate about this, and I'd like to secure his loyalty," Rhiannon mentioned. "He outright told me that Shadya shot the idea of a Wisdom vote down, and with Fred having just left, he could use some allies."

"Thou doth make an excellent point," Hildegard said with an impressed smirk. "What I said before about needing four votes remaineth true, but thou may feel free to count my vote in thy favor when further bargaining."

"Really? Awesome!" Rhiannon grinned. "I think this will be a big power move. I'm kind of looking forward to it."

"'Tis only Wisdom. Let me know when we are to vote for a real threat," Hildegard dismissed.

Rhiannon giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** The way I see it, Dean and Wisdom art rather likely to accompany Bunko in voting for Shadya. Their three votes would tie with our three votes unless we are to sway somebody. Perhaps then, Shadya and Jeremy would join us, but not on good terms!

 **Rhiannon:** I get Hildegard's hesitance. Frankly, if my relationship with Wisdom wasn't so rocky itself, I might not be going with this either. But if we can pull this off, then my alliance will be the ones in power on this team. ...I keep trying to think of a "fucking the others in the ass" metaphor, but everything I'm coming up with sounds super wrong. You get the picture.

* * *

Roxie had finally left her spot in the jungle and returned to camp. She groaned as she noticed Nestor sitting by the fire with food, and forced herself to head over to the fire and scoop herself some rice.

"Well look who decided to show up," Nestor said acidically.

"I don't want to hear it," Roxie said through her teeth. "I feel like I'm about to pass out. Just let me eat."

"Don't worry. Prodding you further would just increase your underdog status, and I don't need that right now," Nestor said.

"You've been hanging out with Gretchen too much," Roxie commented.

"Um, excuse?" Nestor asked. "I run a Total Drama blog. I've been saying things like that since waaaay before Gretchen decided she was the hen of the pen."

"That idiom really doesn't work when you flip the gender," Roxie said with a mouth full of rice.

"But I came up with that rhyme on the spot. Give me _some_ credit," Nestor huffed.

"Look, one of us might as well just say it," Roxie decided. "We don't trust each other anymore and probably won't be working together anymore. Am I right?"

"It doesn't have to be a permanent thing," Nestor said innocently. "But, right now, yeah, you voted for me unprovoked. That's not really placing me on Team Roxie."

"Unprovoked?! If anyone was unprovoked, it was you!" Roxie snapped.

"I just wanted to strike up a conversation. You were the one getting mad at me for having the audacity to speak with you," Nestor leered.

"Because you were being an asshole for no reason!" Roxie insisted.

"That's just my sense of humor, sweet pea," Nestor sighed.

"And the patronizing nicknames don't help either, by the way," Roxie scoffed.

"What, and Virgil calling you 'Toxic Waste' is okay?" Nestor doubted.

"I already asked him about that. It's a kind of sour candy, apparently," Roxie explained. "Besides, Virgil actually has the charisma to get away with that."

"Yeah, tell my tens of thousands of fans that I don't have charisma," Nestor quipped.

"Hey, Nestor's fans! Nestor has no charisma!" Roxie declared before walking off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** Every fiber of my being wants for me to just quit so I don't have to deal with assholes like Nestor anymore. But if I do that, then he wins. And I _refuse_ to give him the satisfaction. As long as I'm in this game, there's still a chance that I can beat him.

 **Nestor:** You have to be the most insecure person alive to take anything I say as a joke personally. I genuinely had nothing against Roxie until she decided out of nowhere that I was the devil and voted for me last night. What. A. Child.

* * *

Dean had taken Jeremy aside, away from the view of the Tough Tundras' camp.

"What's up, Dean?" Jeremy asked. "This seems important."

"Has Wisdom already spoken with you about the vote?" Dean asked tentatively.

"Earlier this morning," Jeremy confirmed. "The vote for Rhiannon is a-go!"

"Yeah, see, that's the issue," Dean sighed. "She's changed her mind and wants to vote for Shadya now."

"I'm not voting for Shadya," Jeremy said firmly.

"I-I don't want to either!" Dean panicked. He composed himself. "I'd still prefer to vote for Rhiannon, honestly. Wisdom seemed deadset, though, and I didn't want to make her mad by telling her I didn't think it was a good idea."

"So... you want me to tell her?" Jeremy deduced.

"I, well, the thing is..." Dean stammered. "I-I think she'd be more inclined to listen if both of us talked to her about it. I'm not very persuasive. One time, in elementary school, this kid broke a flowerpot the teacher kept in the classroom, and he said I did it, and she believed him, even though I was on the other end of the room."

"I cannot abide by this!" Jeremy declared.

"Huh? Why?!" Dean panicked.

"How do you think Wisdom would feel when she finds out you went behind her back to get one of her friends on your side?" Jeremy said as he shook his head. "This is something you two have to talk about yourselves."

"...I know," Dean sighed. "I'm just scared that she's going to get mad at me. I can't really afford to make her mad at me. Not again."

"I think she'll understand," Jeremy assured him.

Dean gulped.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Nine times out of ten, whenever I tell someone I don't agree with them, they respond with "Shut up, Dean" or some variant of that. The tenth time tends to bruise. Wisdom doesn't seem like the type to respond that way, but you can never be too sure.

 **Jeremy:** I think Dean is smarter than anyone gives him credit for. If he could find the confidence and passion to use his gifts for good, he could truly change the world!

* * *

Steve Jenkins dragged Virgil off to the jungle where Roxie had been for most of the day.

"See? She totally left her cigarettes here," Steve Jenkins pointed out as he picked up a pack.

"So what? Do you plan on smoking those, or...?" Virgil questioned.

"I know it doesn't seem fathomable for someone on the level of Steve Jenkins to get any cooler, but imagine if I started smoking," Steve Jenkins grinned as he took one out of the box and put it in his mouth.

"You look like a doofus," Virgil said as he stuck a lollipop in his mouth. "See, lollipops are way cooler. They carry the implication that you've got personality behind your ability to look cool. You're not just some gritty edgelord."

"Lollipops totally ruin your teeth, though," Steve Jenkins griped.

"And cigarettes don't?" Virgil questioned.

"Yeah, good point," Steve Jenkins conceded as he put the cigarette back in the box. "Hey, how many of those things did you bring? Wanna spare me some?"

"Dream on," Virgil smirked. "Candy is my thing. Find your own shtick."

"Um, is there any shtick possibly conceivable by the feeble human mind that can remotely surpass the almighty splendor of simply _being_ Steve Jenkins?" Steve Jenkins doubted.

"You literally just said that smoking cigarettes was cooler," Virgil droned. "Does that mean you think Roxie is cooler than you?"

Steve Jenkins burst into side-splitting laughter.

"Thanks, I try," Virgil said proudly.

Steve Jenkins continued laughing.

"Okay, it wasn't... It wasn't that funny," Virgil said.

Steve Jenkins tried catching his breath. Virgil just headed back to camp.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Even now I have no idea why he dragged me all the way out there to show me that. Maybe he was going to talk to me about votes but never got around to it? _(He shrugs.)_ I don't know.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Why is it that when people smoke in the movies or on TV, it's cool as hell, but in real life, well, it turns you into Roxie? Not even I, with my boundless reservoir of intellect, can figure that out. Hm.

* * *

Bunko sat in the shelter, flipping through her sketchbook.

"Let's see, I think that's just about everyone..." Bunko thought aloud. "I think the only Tough Tundra I'm missing is..."

She looked up and saw Shadya across from camp, breaking kindling down. The caricaturist narrowed her eyes and approached her.

"What do you want, Bunko?" Shadya asked impatiently.

"You're the only person on this team I don't have a caricature of yet," Bunko explained as she began drawing. "I'd better get one before you're voted out."

"If it were anyone else, I'd assume you'd know how implausible that is and think it was a joke," Shadya commented.

"You'll be singing a different tune when you see the votes tonight," Bunko bragged.

"I can sing any tune I wish with perfect pitch and sound like Calliope herself," Shadya stated. "Except for songs about failure. Those songs are for losers who have given up and are trying too hard to elicit sympathy. So, no, I will not be singing any such tune."

"You may think you're the queen of the world, but any can get voted out at any time," Bunko insisted. "You just need the most votes against you."

"And I'm sure you, the epitome of charisma and strategic prowess, have built up an army specifically to get rid of me," Shadya said sardonically.

"That's right!" Bunko confirmed confidently.

"Well, as someone who has played many a game of chess, shogi, and Stratego without losing a single of my pieces, I look forward to seeing how that works out for you," Shadya said with an amused scoff.

"Not as much as I'm looking forward to it!" Bunko objected.

"I could not be looking forward to it more than I am now," Shadya said. "I don't half-ass anything."

"You'll be eating those words! With ketchup on the side!" Bunko shouted angrily. "By the way, thanks for letting me draw you," she added sunnily.

"Of course, my pleasure," Shadya nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** _(She is looking at her sketchbook.)_ Man, even my caricature of her is better than everyone else's! And she isn't even the one who drew it! How does that even happen?!

 **Shadya:** Of course, my art skills have been accepted into several local museums and are constantly reposted on the internet without credit, but I'll let her live her fantasy that caricatures are a valid form of art. It's all she has and all she will ever have.

* * *

Gretchen sat next to Liberty in the shelter.

"Hey. Wake up," Gretchen said shortly.

"Have you ever had a dream?" Liberty began. "A dream where you experienced something you didn't even know you wanted? We get so absorbed into our own thoughts and desires that we never consider anything else. And yet, there I was, peacefully dreaming about having a full collection of Pink Floyd albums on vinyl. I just think Pink Floyd is okay, but at that moment, I can't remember a time where I ever felt happier. And you just woke me up from that. This had better be important."

"I just want to touch base with you about the vote," Gretchen said.

"I'm leaning towards you right now," Liberty yawned. "That was such a good dream."

"Look, there's an alliance of Mark, Roxie, and Ginger that's pretty much unbreakable right now," Gretchen stated.

"I'm not voting for Mark or Ginger," Liberty said plainly. "Roxie is a hard maybe, and you'd have to really convince me."

"Since when are so so close to Mark and Ginger?!" Gretchen snapped.

"Since they started keeping juicy secrets," Liberty smirked. "Which reminds me, aren't you and Steve Jenkins up to something?"

"If by 'up to something' you mean 'can't stand each other and are only working together out of necessity', then yes," Gretchen responded.

"I heard him mumbling your name in his sleep quite a bit last night," Liberty mentioned.

"Bullshit!" Gretchen snapped. "Don't even joke about things like that!"

"Have I given you reason not to trust me?" Liberty asked.

"Vote Ginger. Or else," Gretchen concluded before storming off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** _(She yawns.)_ She's way too fun to mess with.

 **Gretchen:** I know I said Steve Jenkins agreed to work with me too easily, but... no, that's just a coincidence! Steve Jenkins cannot _like_ me! That's not possible! I haven't even started taking estrogen yet! I'm not wearing makeup! _I'm literally growing stubble as we speak and I want to kill myself_!

* * *

Elmer tended to his team's fire when Wisdom approached him.

"Elmer?" Wisdom prompted. "Would you speak with me?"

"What is it?" Elmer uttered.

"How close of a relationship do you have with Shadya?" Wisdom asked.

"That's not really any of your business," Elmer grunted. "Are you just trying to weed out more of my friends so you can vote them out, too?"

"You're still upset about Louise, huh?" Wisdom frowned.

"Of course I'm upset about Louise!" Elmer reacted. "Do you know how long we've been looking forward to meeting in person? Do you know how happy we were when we saw each other on day one?"

"Weren't you kind of apprehensive about it?" Wisdom recalled.

"Because I wanted to avoid any chance of us being seen as a threat," Elmer glowered.

"Would you blame yourself less if I told you that your relationship had nothing to do with me and Dean voting for her?" Wisdom asked.

"I don't blame myself! I blame _you_! You, and Dean, and Gretchen!" Elmer shouted.

"You'll still be able to see her, right?" Wisdom pointed out. "Even then, you'll still be in touch after the game, right? Has any of that changed?"

"Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" Elmer scoffed. "Just taunting me about Louise?"

"...Aren't you the one who brought up Louise?" Wisdom pointed out. "I only mentioned Shadya, right? Would you just listen to me?"

Elmer quietly glared at Wisdom.

"All I wanted to ask is: are you comfortable with how Shadya is running the team?" Wisdom continued. "Are you really fine with her insistence on getting her own way? Are you just going to let her steamroll her way through the game with little resistance? ...Are you willing to get rid of her tonight?"

"No, I am not," Elmer said firmly. "I have been putting your name out all day, and I believe I have the votes to get you eliminated. Unlike me, however, you still have a chance to say goodbye to your significant other."

"...My who?" Wisdom asked.

Elmer looked at Wisdom with disgust and said no more.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Damn it, maybe I do blame myself a little for Louise's elimination. I just... UGH! She wanted to be here so badly. Even more than I did. It's not fair! Is this survivor's guilt? Damn it all, how is _Wisdom_ of all people getting in my head like this?

 **Wisdom:** So I'm Elmer's target, huh? Should I even be surprised? Am I surprised? Or am I just terrified? Can I even win a duel? Am I going home because I followed Gretchen's plan? Why is this game so complicated?

* * *

As the Brilliant Beaches made their way to the arena, Ginger and Mark hung behind everyone else.

"So, did Liberty ask you anything about us sneaking off at night?" Mark asked.

"Huh?!" Ginger reacted, taken aback. "Oh, that? Yeah, I don't know what she thinks she's accomplishing by making stuff up to people who know that it didn't happen."

"So it absolutely didn't happen?" Mark asked unsurely.

"Why are you asking me? You know it didn't happen," Ginger pointed out.

"I don't know that, though," Mark quavered. "My memory's already super messed up. For all I know, you and I could be sneaking off at night and I just don't remember."

"You're overthinking it," Ginger said as she shook her head.

"Ginger. Are you responsible in any way for me losing any of my memories?" Mark asked point-blank.

"What?!" Ginger snapped. "How would I even do that?"

"Ginger, you're not denying it," Mark fretted.

"No, I'm not messing with your memories," Ginger said exasperatedly. "Are you really going to trust something _Liberty_ is telling you?"

"I've had no choice but to trust everything I've been told from the start of the game," Mark said. "But I've also learned that not everyone is what they seem. Hiram seemed like a sweet kid, and then he threatened Team I Don't Know with a knife and ended up hurting himself with it when he was voted out."

"Whoa, seriously?" Ginger winced.

"Ask Roxie about Hiram sometime," Mark said. He sighed. "I don't know. Losing your memory is a scary thing. And not something that happens often, if I'm not mistaken. I want to know what could have caused it. Maybe then I can figure out how to remember what I've forgotten. Sorry for just coming at you like this."

"I guess I see where you're coming from," Ginger conceded. "But, yeah, pro tip: accusing people of stealing your memories generally isn't going to go well."

"I guess when you put it like that, it was kind of unreasonable of me," Mark said with an awkward chuckle. "Sorry about that."

"It's whatever," Ginger dismissed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I can't believe Liberty! This could put the entire experiment in jeopardy! Of all the ways for this to be at risk, it's because of the damn nocturnal girl. I knew I should have had a closer eye on her when I took Mark aside. Now how am I going to check on his progress?

 **Mark:** I'm still not entirely sure I trust Ginger, here, but at the same time, I don't have any hard evidence that she is responsible for any of _this_. _(He points to his head.)_ Maybe I am just getting paranoid. That's what fear does to you, I guess.

* * *

Twilight shone above the cape of the duel arena as the teams made their way to their respective sets of bleachers. Chris stood on the duel arena proper.

"Welcome back, campers!" Chris greeted. "Now that we've all settled down, the voting process has officially begun! Once you've cast your vote, you can't change your mind, so try not to misclick. It's happened before. Hehaha."

The contestants cast their votes, one by one, until all sixteen votes were cast.

"Alright, let's see who our two duelists will be tonight!" Chris grinned as he gestured towards the big screen.

The first votes revealed themselves to be for...

...

...

...

Nestor and Shadya.

Both contestants simply rolled their eyes.

...

...

...

Nestor and Shadya.

Both contestants looked increasingly annoyed.

...

...

...

Liberty and Wisdom.

Liberty continued to sleep. Wisdom began fidgeting.

...

...

...

Liberty and Wisdom.

Dean glanced at Wisdom with concern.

...

...

...

Liberty and Rhiannon.

"Wha...?" Rhiannon emoted in disbelief.

...

...

...

Liberty and Shadya.

Shadya scoffed.

...

...

...

Liberty and Wisdom.

Wisdom gulped and she gritted her teeth and her hands began shaking.

"That's five votes for Liberty, which is enough to send her into the arena!" Chris announced.

The final vote count for the Brilliant Beaches appeared on the left side of the screen: six votes for Liberty and two votes for Nestor.

"Just one more vote for the Tough Tundras," Chris said. "Right now we're at three votes Shadya, three votes Wisdom, and one vote Rhiannon. Who's the last vote going to be for? Who, oh, who?"

...

...

...

...

...

...

The final vote revealed itself to be for Wisdom.

"Oh, no..." Dean went pale as he glanced at his friend.

Wisdom's eyes widened and she began to sweat as she looked to the floor.

The votes disappeared from the screen and were immediately replaced with large pictures of Liberty and Wisdom. The bridges from the bleachers to the arena raised up.

"Liberty. Wake up!" Ginger prodded as she shook the sleepyhead.

"Is it over already...?" Liberty groaned. "Who went home?"

"You got voted into the arena," Ginger said flatly.

"Wait, _what_?!" Liberty gasped.

Wisdom hugged her body as she began shaking.

"Hey, you can do this," Dean told her. "It's just Liberty. She's not so tough."

"If the duelists could come to the arena _now_ , please," Chris said impatiently.

"I can't believe this," Liberty griped as she and Wisdom made their ways to the arena.

The bridges lowered once both girls set foot onto the platform.

"Liberty, Wisdom, one of you will be going home by the end of this duel," Chris smiled. "Your challenge is as follows."

Several balloons, colored light yellow or dark blue, rose up around the dueling platform. Two interns walked onto the platform, each with an RC airplane and controller.

"Each of you will receive a remote-controlled airplane, equipped with some airsoft pellets," Chris continued. "Your job is to pop all the balloons of the opposing team's color. So, Liberty, you'll be taking out the blue balloons, and Wisdom will be taking out the yellow ones. The first person to pop all her targeted balloons has earned the right to stay in the game."

"Could you have chosen a more tedious challenge?" Liberty griped.

"I could just have you draw rocks from a bag and have the person who drew the right-colored rock win," Chris pointed out.

Liberty let out a heavy yawn. "Fine. Let's just get this over with."

"Gladly! The duel has officially... begun!" Chris announced.

The two duelists switched on their airplanes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Liberty:** I can't believe they just voted for me like that. After I so graciously leaked helpful information to all of them. Ugh, it's because they weren't there to appreciate the Kirkland vote, isn't it?

 **Wisdom:** Is this the end?! Can I even win this?! Is my lack of experience with RC planes going to do me in?! _(She starts hyperventilating.)_

* * *

Both planes had left the platform and both contestants flew their planes around to get a feel for their control.

"I've never seen Wisdom so nervous before," Jeremy commented.

"Yeah, me neither. It's stressing me out by proxy," Dean winced.

"So, you voted for Nestor again, huh?" Ginger sighed to Roxie.

"It wasn't me this time," Roxie said as she shook her head.

"Then who was it?" Ginger asked.

"I don't know," Roxie responded indignantly.

Wisdom took an experimental shot with her RC plane, which just barely missed Dean's head.

"Eep!" Dean squeaked.

"Try not to kill someone!" Liberty remarked unsubtly.

Wisdom tightened her grip on her RC controller.

Liberty, meanwhile, had started to get a hang for the control of the plane, and took a shot at one of the blue balloons, popping it.

Wisdom concentrated on positioning her plane correctly, and shot at a yellow balloon, popping it.

"How much you want to bet she's going to fall asleep and crash her plane?" Virgil smirked to Nestor.

"I would die," Nestor laughed. "I would _actually_ cease to continue functioning."

"What's the chance of Wisdom winning?" Rhiannon asked Elmer nervously.

"They could be worse," Elmer answered. "Even if she does win, we can just vote her out again."

"True, but Liberty is someone I trust, more or less," Rhiannon mentioned. "If she goes, that's one less potential ally in the merge."

Elmer nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** And what if I do lose?! Would they just pile all their votes on Dean?! Is there any hope?!

* * *

Liberty fought the urge to nod off. She failed, and her plane crashed into the rocky wall of the cape and fell into the water below.

"Wow, I, uh... I mean, I knew the possibility that this would happen was there, but..." Chris began to bust up laughing. "Holy crap! She actually did it!"

"What happened?!" Wisdom panicked, focusing on her RC plane.

"Liberty crashed her plane and it fell into the water. You just won the duel, brah," Chris told her.

"I... won?" Wisdom smiled as she began to tear up. "Really?"

"Yes, really. You can stop staring at your plane so hard," Chris chuckled.

Wisdom composed herself and landed her plane back onto the dueling platform.

The bridges between the bleachers and the arena and the Dock of Shame and the arena rose from the water. Dean ran on to the arena, followed by Rhiannon and Hildegard.

"You did it!" Dean cheered to Wisdom.

Wisdom pulled Dean in for a tight hug.

"Oh, is this, uh... I've never really done this before," Dean stammered. He awkwardly reciprocated the hug.

"Liberty?" Rhiannon coaxed as she shook the girl awake.

"Whuh...?" Liberty moaned. Her eyes immediately shot open as she remembered her circumstance. "Where's my plane?!"

"You crashed it into the sea," Rhiannon said.

"God damn it!" Liberty swore. "That's some bullshit."

"Thou brought this unto thyself," Hildegard said. "It was up to thee to adapt to the game and its schedule."

"You two are the only ones who came to see me off, huh?" Liberty grunted. "Typical."

"Sorry, hun," Rhiannon empathized. "I am going to miss you, though."

"For what it's worth, I never had any issues with you," Liberty told Rhiannon.

"Awwww," Rhiannon said as she put a hand over her heart.

"And what of me?" Hildegard asked expectantly. "Thou had no issues with me, aye?"

"...I should probably be leaving," Liberty pointed out as she shambled over to the Dock of Shame.

"Bye!" Rhiannon called.

Some of the more polite contestants waved goodbye as Liberty walked down the Dock and onto the Boat of Losers.

"Well, ordinarily, this is the part where I'd ask Wisdom if she wants to go back to the Tundras or flip to the Beaches, but from the looks of things, that seems redundant."

Wisdom let go of Dean, clearing her throat. "Let's, um, go back to the Tundras camp, shall we?"

"Well, that at least makes it official," Chris said. "With that all said and done, you're all dismissed!"

The contestants all made their way back to their respective camps.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Was I really so riled up? Was it that obvious? I'm usually better at hiding it, right? Am I really so scared of being eliminated? Why is that? It's just a game, right? _(She ponders silently.)_

 **Virgil:** Well, that was an easier vote than expected. I don't think anyone's really going to miss Sugarcrash. Tomorrow's going to be a million times harder. _(He begins eating a box of candy.)_

* * *

Chris remained on the arena platform.

"Liberty may have slept her way beneath people's radars, but it looks like that could only do her so much good. Hehaha," Chris said. "What's with Wisdom freaking out during the duel? Will Mark ever learn the truth about his memories? Is Jeremy's friendship with Shadya reaching its limit? Will Steve Jenkins' crush on Gretchen amount to anything? The answers to all these questions just might be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Ginger and Mark sat by the fire while the rest of their team had fallen asleep in the shelter.

"So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" Mark asked. "If this is about the vote, yeah, I was the other Nestor vote. I couldn't just vote for Liberty with what she might have known, you know?"

"Mark, take a walk with me," Ginger offered as she picked up her knapsack.

"With your luxury item?" Mark asked. "Ginger, why do you need that?"

"I'm just making sure no one messes with it while we're gone. It's the result of years of hard work," Ginger explained.

"Everyone's asleep," Mark pointed out.

"Someone could wake up. I don't know. You don't take these risks," Ginger insisted.

"Okay..." Mark said tentatively. "Let's take a walk, then."

The two walked off towards the nearby jungle. Roxie, who had her gas mask on the entire time, stood up and followed the two once they were out of earshot.

* * *

Ginger and Mark traversed deeper into the jungle.

"Mark, you've been awfully paranoid about your memories today," Ginger said. "I know we aren't, like, close, but it's still concerning me. Especially after you accused me of having something to do with it."

"Yeah, sorry," Mark sighed. "I guess... it's kind of hard to explain to someone who hasn't lost their memories."

"I suppose that makes sense," Ginger conceded. "How did you even think I was messing with your memories?"

"I don't know," Mark admitted. "I think it was like... both my memory loss, and you and I supposedly sneaking off were both things I couldn't explain, so I wondered if they were linked. Maybe Liberty was just lying to stir up drama. I don't know."

Ginger stopped. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Mark asked.

"I think it came from over there," Ginger pointed.

Mark took a couple of steps towards the direction she'd pointed in. Ginger took the device from before out of her knapsack and prepared to jam it into Mark's neck.

"What are you doing?!" Roxie cried as she ran up to the two.

"Fuck," Ginger muttered.

"Roxie?" Mark asked. "What's up?"

"What's up?! What the hell is that in Ginger's hand?" Roxie accused.

Ginger hastily stuffed the device back in her knapsack, which Mark did not miss.

"I thought you were trying to keep your stuff safe," Mark pointed out.

"What's in the bag, Ginger?" Roxie asked harshly.

"It was a bottle of water. Chill out," Ginger scowled.

"Let me see it," Roxie commanded.

"I don't have to show you anything," Ginger denied.

"You... have no reason not to," Mark said unsurely. "It's just a bottle of water, right?"

Roxie pulled out her pocket knife and pointed it at Ginger. " _Now_ ," she said shortly.

"Hey, hey, there's no need to get violent!" Mark cried. "Ginger, just show her the water bottle!"

"I don't have to show anything to anyone!" Ginger shouted as she stormed off.

"Get back here!" Roxie ordered as she began to give chase.

"Roxie, just leave it," Mark consoled.

"I can't!" Roxie insisted. "It's upsetting you too much."

"Making a big fight of it isn't helping that," Mark frowned. "You and Ginger are both my friends. I don't want to see my friends fight."

"Do you really believe Ginger is your friend after all that?" Roxie spat.

"I... I don't know," Mark sighed. "This could all be a big misunderstanding, or it could be the key to my memories. I wouldn't have followed her here if I didn't think it could be."

Roxie froze. "Mark, are you... I can't even say it."

"What?" Mark asked.

"Well, Ginger's a... roboticist, right?" Roxie gulped. "Mark, are you a robot?"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Liberty - Ginger, Gretchen, Nestor, Roxie, Steve Jenkins, Virgil

Nestor - Liberty, Mark

 **Tough Tundras:**

Wisdom - Elmer, Hildegard, Rhiannon, Shadya

Shadya - Bunko, Dean, Wisdom

Rhiannon - Jeremy

* * *

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

Mark - The Amnesiac

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet

Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Tough Tundras:**

Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist

Dean - The Eternal Loser

Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

Hildegard - The Paladin

Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: I've said it a million times already, but negative characters tend to be my favorite to write, and, as a result, they tend to get a lot of screentime or focus. Liberty was my attempt to write a negative character who was more under-the-radar and wasn't a big grandiose villain or a huge obnoxious character. I don't have the exact numbers on how much screentime she got, but either way, I enjoyed writing her despite my attempts to keep her more on the down low. Of course, there's only so long I could have kept her with a cast as active as this one. Her nocturnalism making it so even the cover of nightfall couldn't keep people from being sneaky definitely had its effect on a few characters, and that effect might continue thanks to Roxie being clued in on Ginger's shenanigans._

 _Liberty definitely had her fans, and I'm sorry if I disappointed any of you by letting her go now, but I feel this is the best place to let her go. What did you guys think of Liberty?_


	12. Get Better Taste In Friends

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the dueling platform. "In our last episode, alliances continued to solidify as everyone vied for their little groups to gain the majority. Elmer, fed up with Shadya's insistence on eliminating Bunko, threw Wisdom under the bus to the rest of his team. Meanwhile, Gretchen continued to push for Ginger to leave, seeing her as the least offensive option. Jeremy found himself wondering if Shadya was worth continuing to work with, while Roxie hid from the rest of her team out of fear that Nestor would tear into her.

"The Brilliant Beaches' vote turned into a near-unanimous vote against Liberty after she'd pissed off a couple too many of her teammates. The Tough Tundras had a bit more of a split, with Bunko getting Dean and Wisdom against Shadya, and Jeremy trying hard for a Rhiannon vote that didn't go anywhere, but ultimately, Wisdom was voted into the arena instead. And even though Wisdom freaked the hell out over the situation, Liberty falling asleep in the middle of the duel mean that the sleepyhead's game was put to rest. Hehaha. Oh yeah, and Mark might be a robot. Probably should have mentioned that.

"Will this news about Mark affect the dynamics of the Brilliant Beaches? Will any of the myriad rivalries on the Tough Tundras come to a head? Watch and find out, dear viewer! This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

It was still the night of Liberty's elimination, and Ginger was on her way back to camp after the encounter in the jungle.

"Ginger! Get back here!" Roxie ordered as she caught up to the roboticist.

"Roxie! Please!" Mark pled as he caught up to the two.

"This conversation is over," Ginger insisted.

Roxie grabbed Ginger by the shoulder and spun her around to face her. "You make robots, right? Is that what Mark is? Just your little robot experiment?!"

Ginger let out something between a scoff and a sigh. "Roxie, can we talk in private?"

"Anything you want to tell me, Mark can hear, too," Roxie insisted.

"I want to hear it from your lips," Mark said to Ginger. "Am I just..."

"...I need you to _promise_ not to speak of this again. Not even to each other," Ginger said.

"Why?! So you can remove my memory of this conversation happening?!" Mark snapped.

"It's important!" Ginger insisted.

Mark's eyes went wide. Roxie's hands balled into fists.

"So it's... true," Mark deduced.

Ginger sighed again. "Yes. I signed us up for this show so I could see how you adapted to human interaction. To see if you were believable enough to overcome the uncanny valley. To see if my creations could pass as real people. I let you handle the first island on your own, without my supervision, for a lot of reasons, but mostly to minimize suspicion that we were connected. It looked like you were doing great, so I picked you in the team select on this island so I could monitor your progress. You're learning a lot, by the way. I'm so proud of us."

Roxie punched Ginger in the face and stormed off, shouting in frustration.

"What the hell?!" Ginger snapped. She turned to Mark. "Now do you see why it's important that I tamper with your memories? I need a clean, controlled experiment."

"So, the reason I can't remember my past or my name... is because I never had any, to begin with?" Mark asked.

"Basically. I only had so much time to program basic knowledge, etiquette, and language capabilities. A backstory would have taken too long, and naming you myself would have caused me to get too attached," Ginger explained. "Frankly, I was a little disappointed that 'Mark' was the best name the others came up with, but it's grown on me."

Mark walked away silently.

"Wait! I need to fix your memory so you forget this exchange!" Ginger called.

Mark ran away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Shit! I thought that by confiding in them, they would trust that I knew I was doing and keep it on the down-low, but that's not looking super likely. This could seriously jeopardize the experiment. We'll see where things go from here, I guess. _(She shakes her head in disapproval.)_

 **Roxie:** I can't believe this. I _refuse_ to believe this! This is some bullshit! ...And now, I'm slipping into haiku again. I thought I had kicked that habit. I'm just... What the _fuck_?!

 **Mark:** So... I guess, in a way, Ginger _was_ responsible for my memory loss... Heh... Heh heh...

* * *

The next morning, Elmer, Hildegard, and Shadya sat around the fire, eating breakfast.

"What didst thou use to season this meat?" Hildegard asked Shadya. "'Tis divine!"

"Yeah, the Brilliant Beaches ended up with all the spices," Elmer pointed out.

"I found a rosemary bush along the path to the arena. It couldn't be simpler," Shadya said.

"So... Wisdom's still here," Elmer pointed out. "Are we good to vote her out again?"

"In light of the disturbingly high number of votes I received last night, the answer is no," Shadya declined.

"What?" Elmer asked, annoyed.

"I'd seen Bunko as little more than a delusional child, but it appears that she managed to turn a considerable tide against me," Shadya continued. "Thus, she is now the target of my vote. Hildegard, I trust you are on board?"

"Was Wisdom not one of the votes against thee?" Hildegard mentioned.

"Besides, you saw how much Wisdom was freaking out in the arena," Elmer pointed out. "The only reason she won is that her opponent literally fell asleep. If she ends up back in the arena, that's one less enemy for all of us."

"So you don't consider Bunko an enemy?" Shadya asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Not as much as Wisdom or Dean," Elmer clarified. "Think about it. Without Bunko, Wisdom and Dean will still be close allies. Without Wisdom, how close are Dean and Bunko?"

"I will hear no more of this," Shadya denounced. "The vote is Bunko tonight."

"Look, I get that you're some record-breaking big shot, but you need to _listen_!" Elmer said impatiently. "There is literally no good reason to keep Wisdom over Bunko! Stop being so damn stubborn and consider, for maybe a second, that other people might have good insight, too!"

Shadya glanced at Hildegard.

"A good paladin obeys those in charge," Hildegard stated. "If Shadya declareth that Bunko is our target tonight, then it is so."

"Unbelievable," Elmer scoffed as he stood up and left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Elmer has no right to defy me. He may be relatively smart in the context of his peers back home, or in comparison to Louise, but until he has accomplished even a fraction of what I have, the very idea of him claiming his ideas are superior to mine is laughable.

 **Elmer:** I don't know when Hildegard forgot this, but all of us here are just contestants in this game. Even Shadya. She doesn't have to blindly obey Shadya just because she acts all high and mighty. God, I hope Rhiannon is still on board with this.

 **Hildegard:** Though I am a trained and tough knight, even I know better than to get on Lady Shadya's bad side. Truthfully, I do not oppose another Wisdom vote, but I also do not oppose a Bunko vote. T'was a difficult decision to make.

* * *

Nestor and Virgil met up a small ways away from camp.

"Alright, so last night there was a sudden change of plans, but it worked out," Nestor recounted. "Are you still good for a Ginger vote tonight?"

"Look, man, I'm trying over here, but I cannot deal with Gretchen," Virgil said. "It's like she's going out of her way to be as obnoxious as possible around me."

"Well, I can't really deal with Roxie," Nestor countered. "So what do we do from here?"

"Pull in the rest of the boys and take a majority from there?" Virgil suggested.

"Ooh, that would be a majority, wouldn't it?" Nestor realized. "I've never really spoken to Mark, and I'm still not entirely sure about Steve Jenkins, though."

"We can even still vote out Gingersnap tonight," Virgil added. "After that, neither Gretchen nor Toxic Waste will be able to counter an alliance of four."

"It's not a perfect idea, but it's one that could work," Nestor thought aloud. "A shake-up like this could keep the audience engaged."

"Are you seriously factoring that into your decision?" Virgil asked flatly.

"I _refuse_ to be on a boring season of my favorite TV show!" Nestor insisted.

"Fair enough," Virgil figured. "I'm already on good terms with Mystery Pop, so getting him shouldn't be too difficult. Are you good to talk to Sweet Jenkins?"

"I'll do what I can," Nestor said. "We've had our bumps in the road here and there, but we were also in an alliance on The Best Team."

"Sweet," Virgil smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** It's pretty clear that the alliance of Toxic Waste, Mystery Pop, and Gingersnap basically have me as their fourth wheel, but, at the same time, Gretchen is impossible to deal with. So I've had the ol' noodle working on a way to get on top that would work out in both my and Blueberry's favor. I think this could very well work out. _(He sticks a lollipop in his mouth.)_

 **Nestor:** I'll be honest: if it comes down to it, I am not voting for Gretchen over Mark. I don't think Mark has ever talked to me one-on-one, and even then, he's pretty close to Roxie, which, ew, get better taste in friends. Hopefully, it doesn't have to come to that, because I don't want to alienate Virgil any more than I already have been.

* * *

Dean and Wisdom had gone off to collect berries.

"So, uh..." Dean began.

Wisdom looked at him expectantly.

"You... seem to be doing better now than in the duel," Dean immediately realized how stupid that sounded.

"Oh, that?" Wisdom frowned. "Can we not talk about that?"

"I hear you loud and clear," Dean agreed.

"What are we going to do?" Wisdom wondered. "What's stopping the others from just voting me back into the arena?" she winced.

"That's an excellent question," Dean responded. "We should definitely come up with an answer for it."

Wisdom gave him an uneasy look.

"Well, let's see who we have on the team," Dean continued. "Jeremy's cool, and Bunko's... on our side. That's half the team. And Jeremy's close with Shadya, so it's not out of the question that if the five of us vote together... no, wait, Shadya's working with the other three, isn't she?"

Wisdom looked deep in thought. "Shadya dislikes Bunko, right? Do you think we could-"

"Hey, guys!" Bunko greeted as she ran up to the two. "We were so close last night! Great job on winning the duel, Wisdom. Anyway, I think today's going to be the day where we finally get rid of Shadya. Jeremy won't vote for her, but if we get Elmer and Rhiannon on our side, we can really do it!

"Well, Elmer doesn't really like me or Wisdom," Dean said awkwardly. "You were on his team on the last island, though, right? You should talk to him."

"Great idea!" Bunko agreed before skipping off merrily.

Dean and Wisdom shared a glance.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** I really have been constantly embarrassing myself in front of Dean, haven't I? Why is he still working with me when he knows what a mess I am? Wait, that's how he feels about himself, isn't it? That kind of thing is what started our fight a few days ago, isn't it?

 **Dean:** So, wait, Wisdom wants to work with Shadya to take out Bunko? I never expected to throw someone under the bus to be a potential strategy, but, I mean, working against Shadya clearly hasn't done anyone any favors. I'm just worried that it's too late and that she won't even consider working with us. You'd have to be really desperate to want to work with me of all people.

 **Bunko:** Shadya's reign of terror has gone on long enough! We need to rally the troops and finally do something about her! _(She shows a caricature of herself looking determined.)_ I've memorized my own face, so I can make caricatures of myself on the fly.

* * *

Steve Jenkins met up with Gretchen.

"Hey, I'm just trying to make sure where the vote's at tonight," Steve Jenkins requested. "Are we back to Ginger, or...?"

"Yes," Gretchen confirmed. "Of course, we can't rule out that things are subject to change again, like last night."

"That's why you're the protagonist. Always thinking ahead," Steve Jenkins winked.

Gretchen gave him a weird look.

"What?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"You hated me not two days ago. What happened?" Gretchen asked bluntly.

"What? I mean, I can't get along with my allies?" Steve Jenkins asked. "Steve Jenkins wouldn't be the popular teen heartthrob that he is without being respectful to his many, many fans."

"Okay, but me being the protagonist in the first place is the whole reason we didn't get along," Gretchen pointed out. "Well, that and you're really lazy, but that's not what we're talking about right now!"

"Look, I don't mean any harm," Steve Jenkins insisted. "I only exist to bring joy and splendor unto the people."

"Then quit patronizing me!" Gretchen shouted.

"Alright, geez," Steve Jenkins frowned. "Excuse me for just trying to be nice."

"Don't start with that nice guy bullshit. It doesn't suit you," Gretchen spat.

"I mean, yeah, I am b-b-b-b-bad to the bone and all," Steve Jenkins grinned as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I need to go find somewhere to throw up. Be right back," Gretchen remarked as she walked off.

"Alright. I can wait," Steve Jenkins agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Gretchen's obviously just shy because she isn't used to being approached by chads like myself. I can dig it. Maybe I was laying on the Steve Jenkins charm a bit too heavy. I'll take it a bit easier and let her open up at her own pace.

 **Gretchen:** I don't know who the fuck put Steve Jenkins up to this, but it is not! Funny! Ugh, it was probably Virgil. He would always tease me about not getting a love interest. Remind me to hoof him in the nutsack later.

* * *

Jeremy and Rhiannon took a hike through the tundra.

"Just let me know when you're ready to stop," Jeremy said. "Hiking is hard enough with proper shoes if you're not experienced. I can't imagine doing it in heels."

"I'll probably take them off in a bit," Rhiannon admitted. "So, how've you been? We haven't really talked since the game started, let alone since the new island."

"I have a bad habit of oversharing, so stop me if I get to be too much," Jeremy chuckled. "It's been... well, it's been a mixed experience overall. I've lost a couple of friends out here, but hey, I've made a lot of friends, right?"

"Yeah, at least you still have, let's see, Shadya, Bunko, Wisdom, and Dean, right?" Rhiannon mentioned. "It's kind of weird how most of your friends are people Shadya doesn't like. Has she talked to you about that?"

"Kind of. She's made it very clear that those three are the only people she's willing to vote out," Jeremy admitted. "So that leaves me in an awkward position, to say the least."

"The kind of position that leads you to vote for me?" Rhiannon frowned.

"I-I!" Jeremy choked.

"Relax, I'm not mad," Rhiannon assured him. "It's the game. But I am curious about your plans going forward. Are you just going to keep pushing for me to go?"

"I... I guess I was just going to go with whatever Shadya or Bunko or Wisdom or someone came up with," Jeremy admitted.

"So you need a woman to tell you what to do, huh?" Rhiannon purred.

"It's not that!" Jeremy insisted. "I'm just not very good at the strategy aspect of it all."

"And Bunko is?" Rhiannon asked skeptically. "Look, honey, there's no shame in being submissive. It can be a real thrill with the right person. But you also need to weigh your options. Is Shadya really worth sticking with if she's trying to vote all your friends out?"

"Give me some credit. I have been thinking about that," Jeremy said as he furrowed his brow. "Rhiannon, I'm starting to get the feeling that you only asked me to hike so you could mess with my head."

Rhiannon wore a hurt look on her face as she put a hand over her heart. "Ouch. I can't talk to my teammate without having some sort of motive?"

"I'm sorry, I just need to be alone right now," Jeremy said.

"I hear you," Rhiannon nodded. "I know my way back to camp from here. See you later."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I had a feeling Jeremy was the one who voted for me last night. I'm not mad, that much is true, but I'd like for any votes towards me to stop being towards me, you know? Turning Jeremy against Shadya should, at the very least, keep his target off of me, but whether or not that works is to be seen.

 **Jeremy:** I hate to admit it, but Rhiannon is right. Shadya only wants to vote for my other friends, and working with them to vote for her means I'll be loyal to more people than if I worked with her to vote for them. It's just hard. I don't want to make Shadya mad. She's probably the coolest person I've ever met. _(He blushes slightly.)_

* * *

Virgil found Roxie smoking in her usual spot.

"Hey, Toxic Waste," Virgil prompted. "Have you seen Mystery Pop around?"

"Mark? Who cares?" Roxie spat.

"Shoot, are you two not getting along now?" Virgil asked. "Sorry, I didn't get the pamphlet."

"Hey, you're working with Nestor, right?" Roxie asked. "And he's working with Gretchen and Steve Jenkins?"

"Awfully perceptive for someone who hangs out alone so much," Virgil half-complimented.

"I want in," Roxie said bluntly. "I'm done with Ginger. And I'm livid with Mark. I want them both gone."

"No kidding?" Virgil asked.

"Do I sound like I'm kidding?" Roxie grunted as she flicked her finished cigarette at Virgil's forehead.

"Well, I was going to ask Mystery Pop if he wanted to blindside Gingersnap, but if you're good to do it, then welcome to the club. We hold potlucks every Wednesday," Virgil smirked.

"Is there coffee?" Roxie played along.

"I've got coffee-flavored hard candies, and I'm only willing to give those up to someone really special," Virgil answered.

"Whatever it takes... as long as those two are gone... I could give a rip," Roxie mused.

"I mean, either way, I'm glad to have you on board," Virgil said. "This could be the difference between us making the merge or not."

"I think this calls for a victory smoke. Want one?" Roxie offered.

"Thinking like that is how addictions happen," Virgil declined.

"Implying I'm not already addicted," Roxie said bitterly as she lit another cigarette.

"I'll stick to lollipops," Virgil said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Well, that makes things a whole lot easier. My biggest concern with getting Mystery Pop in on the alliance is that he wouldn't want to vote out Toxic Waste, but getting her instead means that she's apparently cool to vote both her old allies out. Unless she's playing me good or something, but, let's be real, Toxic Waste isn't the type to play people.

 **Roxie:** Wait, Virgil was trying to get Mark to betray the alliance? Does that mean he was going to betray me? I'll have to talk to... ugh, Gretchen and Nestor. Honestly, I don't care at this point. I just want to see those two liars gone!

* * *

Elmer, Hildegard, and Rhiannon all met up.

"So, what's the status on Shadya?" Rhiannon asked.

"Apparently she's back to wanting to vote for Bunko," Elmer sighed. "And this one seems to agree with her." He gestured his head in Hildegard's direction.

"Belittle me not! I merely recognize Shadya as an important vote we must keep on our side!" Hildegard defended. "Besides, how much harm would losing Bunko do to thou, truly?"

"I just... Dean and Wisdom are... If we keep them together..." Elmer sighed. "Alright, I'll admit, I've been letting my emotions get the best of me every now and again, but I do think we should separate them as soon as possible."

"I'm with Elmer. Those two are never going to want to work with us. Bunko might," Rhiannon agreed.

"Wisdom voted out Jim and... Louise," Elmer recounted. "They both went home because of her."

"'Tis irrational to place the blame solely on her," Hildegard tutted. "Every vote cast against those who leave is the decision of the collective!"

"But has Bunko ever voted in the majority? Even once?" Elmer questioned. "She is no threat to us."

"To shift the topic a little, I spoke to Jeremy earlier today," Rhiannon interrupted. "He admitted that he was the one who voted for me last night. Also, he's probably a sub, but that's neither here nor there."

Hildegard grimaced.

"Anyway, I tried getting him to reconsider his stance on Shadya altogether," Rhiannon continued. "If we can get him and Shadya to target each other, then perhaps an easy Jeremy vote could take out a big threat who isn't working with us."

"So that just complicates things even further. Excellent," Elmer said sarcastically.

"But it should also help keep the target off of the three of us," Rhiannon clarified. "Besides, do you want to face Jeremy in the merge?"

"We will need to reach a consensus by tonight," Hildegard reminded. "I stand by my stance to stick with Lady Shadya in a Bunko vote."

"I'll think about it," Elmer conceded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Believe me, I hold no attachment to Wisdom whatsoever and would be happy to vote her back into the arena. But Lady Shadya is simply a more valuable ally than Sir Elmer. If I were to pick a side, it would have to be hers!

 **Elmer:** Maybe I am getting a little carried away in wanting to take out Dean and Wisdom. But can you blame me? They're probably the tightest duo in the game, not to mention... well, Louise. I need to take some time to think.

 **Rhiannon:** I get both sides of the argument, to be perfectly honest. Voting for Bunko might alienate Elmer, and voting for Wisdom might alienate Shadya. We're going to need both of their votes if we want any chance of making through this island alive. So what do we do?

* * *

Nestor approached Steve Jenkins as the latter admired his reflection in the seawater.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Nestor asked.

"Absolutely," Steve Jenkins grinned.

"Okay, so you and Gretchen don't get along, right?" Nestor began.

"What? Naw, we're cool now," Steve Jenkins answered. "I mean, she's still shy about her fiery-hot passion for yours truly, and she takes it out on me a little, but we both know what's going on deep down."

"Okayyyy... Have you heard anything about votes tonight?" Nestor asked.

"Gretch says it's back to Ginger. Unless she changes her mind again," Steve Jenkins told him.

"No, it's Ginger, plain and simple," Nestor assured him. "We cannot afford to change our entire-ass plan just because Gretchen says so. She's only 25% of the alliance."

"You're that sure about Virgil, huh?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"He's with us," Nestor insisted. "Virgil even said he's going to talk to Mark and see if he can't get Mark to flip to our side."

"So, he's finally realized that his allies are total lamers and has decided to turn to the light that is Steve Jenkins?" Steve Jenkins grinned.

"Virgil's hung out with Mark. If anyone can convince him, it's Virgil," Nestor figured.

"Ahem?" Steve Jenkins scoffed.

"Or Steve Jenkins, long live the king," Nestor added sarcastically.

"Thank you," Steve Jenkins accepted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** I don't want to betray Gretchen, and clearly Steve Jenkins doesn't either, but I know Virgil would want to vote her out, and Mark probably would, too. Tsk, the more I say Mark's name out loud, the more ridiculous adding him to this alliance sounds. Oh well, if worse comes to worst, we could run the team without him.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Honestly, I don't see the point in adding Mark to the alliance when we already outnumber the lamers four to three. Damn, do you think Nestor's up to something again? I'd better keep my eye on him.

* * *

Wisdom approached Shadya, who had just returned to camp with firewood in her arms.

"Shadya? May I have a word?" Wisdom requested.

"What business could we possibly have together?" Shadya scoffed.

"...How open are you to the idea of a Bunko vote?" Wisdom inquired.

"My plans could not be less of your business," Shadya responded.

"Your plans? Were you already planning on voting for Bunko?" Wisdom asked.

"If you're not going to listen, then don't talk to me," Shadya grunted as she walked past the smaller girl.

"What would you say if I told you that Dean and I would vote for Bunko?" Wisdom asked.

"What you do with your votes is none of my business," Shadya dismissed.

"So, even if Dean and I help you, you won't work with us?" Wisdom asked as she caught up to Shadya.

"You, Dean, and Bunko are the weakest members of the team by far," Shadya pointed out. "There's no sense in having weak allies when there are stronger people on this team who are willing to help me as well."

"Even if Elmer is so set in his ways?" Wisdom asked. "He and Bunko were on Team I Don't Know together, right? How much can you trust him?"

"If you're trying to manipulate me, then clearly you're also one of the stupider members of the team, if you think that would succeed," Shadya spat.

"Aren't you worried about being perceived as a threat?" Wisdom prodded. "That's a big reason to be targeted as the game goes on, right? What if the next shuffle changes the game in a way that isn't as kind to you? Don't you want people on your side? Don't you want people who are willing to work with you?"

"I have that already. Stop wasting my time," Shadya said.

"Did you know Jeremy is reconsidering his stance in light you always targeting his friends?" Wisdom asked.

Shadya stopped walking for a second before resuming as if she had heard nothing.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I was taken aback when Wisdom claimed that Jeremy was reconsidering working with me. I never imagined she'd be so audacious as to claim such a thing. How stupid does she think I am? Jeremy would never... betray me.

 **Wisdom:** Did Shadya believe what I said to her? Or is she so stubborn that she simply tuned out anything that wasn't the sound of her own voice? Should we extend our hands elsewhere? Should we keep trying to get through to Shadya?

* * *

Mark had returned to camp for the first time since his encounter in the jungle. Gretchen, who had been tending to the campfire, noticed.

"Hey, where were you since last night?" Gretchen asked.

"I went out on a walk, and I think I just kind of passed out in the jungle," Mark answered.

"We thought you died or something. Ginger and Roxie didn't say anything when we asked them about it," Gretchen explained.

"Well, I'm alright," Mark smiled. His smile instantly dropped. "Now that you mention it, I don't remember a whole lot of how last night went. I've been wondering for a while if I've been losing recent memories on top of all the memories of my past."

"You had better not!" Gretchen shouted. " _I'm_ the protagonist! Meeeee! How come you get the mysterious hook? Audiences are going to eat that for breakfast. It's not fair!"

"Sorry that my messed-up mental state is such a hot commodity," Mark snarked.

"Just get that plotline resolved fast. We're getting to the point where I start showing the audience that I'm not an infallible badass and that, yes, even I have insecurities," Gretchen boasted.

"You don't say?" Mark feigned interest.

"Yeah, and I don't want you sharing the spotlight, buddy boy," Gretchen continued.

"Because you're so insecure?" Mark figured.

"Wow, rude," Gretchen scoffed.

"Hey, Mark's back," Ginger pointed out as she approached the two.

"Hey, Ginger," Mark greeted. "I guess I passed out during my walk last night. Sorry if I worried you."

"I'm more worried about how bad things got between you and Roxie last night," Ginger said.

"What?" Mark asked, surprised. "I mean... now that you mention it, I do feel upset with Roxie. I'm not sure why, but... yeah."

"Great, and now you've got drama on top of all this?!" Gretchen complained. "What am I even here for if you're just going to make everything about _you_?!"

"Anyway, steer clear of Roxie," Ginger warned Mark. "She wants nothing to do with you."

"Okay..." Mark nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Oh, I am so close to switching the target to Mark right now. We've had it set on Ginger for a while, and changing things now could probably just bite me in the ass, but if I can rally the troops... Hm...

 **Mark:** Well, it sucks that Roxie and I had a falling out, especially since I don't even remember what it was about. I felt like she and I had a good rapport. Ugh, why can't I ever remember the important things?! It still bugs me that I don't know my real name, you know.

 **Ginger:** Obviously I had to remove any data involving last night from Mark's hard drive. The difficult part is going to be keeping Roxie from spilling the beans. If the others find out, they could throw all their votes onto one of the two of us, and the whole experiment could be cut short! I can't let that happen.

* * *

Jeremy led Dean and Bunko on a hike.

" _We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz_!" Bunko sang loudly and off-key.

"Er, so, not to cut your singing short, but-" Dean began.

"Hey! It's rude to interrupt people when they're performing their hearts out," Bunko pouted. "How _dare_ you, Dean?!"

"I was wondering what you were thinking about the vote tonight, Jeremy," Dean continued.

"I... think I'm ready to vote for Shadya," Jeremy admitted.

"Oh, yay!" Bunko cheered. "I'm glad you realized how bad she is for you. Every time you two talked, you walked away from it upset, you know."

"Yeah," Jeremy nodded. "It's just... it's tough. I still like her a lot, and I still consider her my friend."

"It's not an easy thing to do," Dean said. "I've had to walk away from people I thought were friends because they were just negative influences on me. It's left me with no friends back home, but, well... at least I'm..." Dean had bummed himself out too much to finish the thought.

"Snap out of it, Dean!" Bunko exclaimed. "I need to know if you and Wisdom are good to vote for Shadya tonight!"

"I-I'd have to talk to her about it!" Dean jumped. "I certainly wouldn't mind voting for her, although I am afraid that she'd win the duel and come back angry at us."

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," Jeremy said. "And I, for one, refuse to give up before I've even begun!"

"That's the Jeremy I know!" Bunko cheered.

"You know, I'm feeling good about this," Jeremy smiled. "Thanks for being there for me, guys. It really means a lot."

"Of course!" Bunko beamed.

"Yeah..." Dean nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** I... I really feel good about siding with Jeremy. Bunko can be a bit much, but she's still better than Gretchen, at any rate. Now I just need to talk to Wisdom about this Shadya vote. Wisdom wants to throw Bunko under the bus to Shadya, and I wasn't even sure about that beforehand. I definitely don't want to do it now. But since when does my opinion matter as much as anyone else's? _(He rubs the back of his head unsurely.)_

 **Jeremy:** _(He takes a deep breath readily.)_ I've never done anything like this before. But I've been thinking a lot about Rhiannon said. I really have spent this game just doing what someone else told me to. It's time I make a decision for myself! To live your life is not to live it for someone else!

 **Bunko:** Ha! And Shadya thought I would never get the numbers against her. With one more vote, we can take down the wicked witch for good! Dean suggested I should talk to Elmer, since we were on Team I Don't Know together. I'd better go find him!

* * *

Nestor and Virgil all met up away from camp as Gretchen approached them.

"Does she have to be involved?" Virgil asked quietly.

"Just go with it," Nestor urged.

"Alright, I'm rallying up the troops!" Gretchen decided. "It's another change of plan. We're voting for Mark tonight."

Virgil shot Gretchen an unimpressed look.

"Why Gretchen, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were defending Ginger," Nestor teased.

"Yeah, gross, no," Gretchen winced. "Mark's just been pissing me off big time and I'm sick and tired of him."

"What do you think?" Nestor asked Virgil genuinely.

"I mean, Toxic Waste came up to me earlier telling me she was sick and tired of both Gingersnap and Mystery Pop," Virgil said. "I already told her the vote was Gingersnap."

"You idiot! She could have been, you know, lying?" Gretchen scolded.

"Hold your horses, buckaroo," Virgil quipped. "Toxic Waste is a lot of things, but she isn't dishonest. I don't know what's going on between them, but her anger was genuine."

"Oh, I know. I overheard Ginger telling Mark about it. Apparently, Mark doesn't remember what happened," Gretchen said.

"Ooh! What happened?" Nestor asked, interested. "I've got an entire roll of paper towels ready for you to spill some tea."

"...What?" Virgil asked.

"Oh my god, have you ever even met a gay person in your life?" Gretchen asked, annoyed.

"I know what spilling tea means. That was in response to the paper towel part," Virgil scoffed. "Anyway, Gingersnap is more annoying than Mystery Pop, wouldn't you agree, Nestor?"

"Girl, do _not_ get me started," Nestor agreed.

"And before you say anything, he knows you're not a girl," Gretchen chimed in.

"Why do you assume I know nothing about gay mannerisms?" Virgil grunted.

"Straight people don't tend to," Gretchen answered.

"I'm done here," Virgil scowled as he walked off.

"Why do you have to keep picking on him?!" Nestor reprimanded Gretchen.

"I don't like him, he doesn't like me... Really, the only reason we're working together is because of you," Gretchen said nonchalantly. "Well, that and every good protagonist has to begrudgingly work with an old enemy at some point or another. It shows flexibility and potential for development."

Nestor rolled his eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** See, if I was back home, just watching and writing about this for my blog, I'd be _all_ over this hot drama. It's a lot less fun when it could be the difference between my alliance staying together or not, and _that_ could mean I have a harder time staying alive in this game!

 **Gretchen:** I couldn't give less of a damn about Virgil's feelings. He antagonized me on the Luscious Lollipops _constantly_ , and I'm fairly sure he still talks shit about me behind my back even now. Don't dish it out if you can't take it.

 **Virgil:** I'm not working with her. I am not. I am this close, _this! Close!_ To giving Blueberry a damn ultimatum right now. _(He snaps a candy cane in half.)_

* * *

Bunko found Elmer sitting alone at the shelter.

"Hey, Elmer!" Bunko greeted sunnily.

"Oh, hey," Elmer smiled back. "It's been a while since we've talked one-on-one."

"Yeah, no kidding. I kind of miss having a smaller team," Bunko said.

"We aren't too much bigger, but then, most of this team is comprised of people from other teams, so it does feel more crowded," Elmer thought aloud.

"Exactly!" Bunko agreed. "I couldn't figure it out, but you got it! Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about the vote tonight."

"I'm all ears," Elmer told her.

"Dean, Wisdom, and Jeremy are all ready to vote for Shadya," Bunko listed. "We only need one more vote to get it done! And we want _you_!" Bunko pointed at Elmer like Uncle Sam.

"Is that so?" Elmer asked, impressed. "Wait, _Jeremy_ wants to vote for Shadya?"

"He's finally realized that she's a toxic friend and that it's better to rip the band-aid off!" Bunko smiled.

"Well, only if the wound has healed completely. Otherwise, it'll tear right open again," Elmer figured. "Although I'm not really sure the analogy is one-to-one, here, if what you're saying about Shadya is true. And I don't think I believe it isn't."

"You don't... you..." Bunko tried piecing together what Elmer had said in her head to make sense of it.

"What I'm saying is that you can count me in," Elmer smirked surely.

"Hooray!" Bunko cheered. "Oh, Elmer, I'm glad you're not a bad person after all." Bunko embraced her teammate.

"Did you... think I was?" Elmer questioned.

"Never any worse than Shadya," Bunko assured him.

"Gotcha," Elmer responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Right, _that's_ why I never talked to Bunko much. Nothing against her, but our personalities don't really compliment each other, I don't think. Either way, this Shadya vote could change everything if it all works out.

 **Bunko:** I'll never forget how much Elmer upset Hiram, but right now, desperate times call for desperate measures! Rhiannon can't be trusted, and I don't think I'm a high-enough-level paladin to ask Hildegard for help. I still haven't figured out what to do about that.

* * *

Ginger found Steve Jenkins in the exact spot where Nestor had found him before, still admiring his reflection.

"Weren't you doing this earlier?" Ginger asked.

"Yep," Steve Jenkins confirmed.

"But you were at lunch, right?" Ginger confirmed.

"That's right," Steve Jenkins nodded.

"So you spent all morning staring at yourself, stopped to get lunch, and then came back to continue staring at yourself up to and during this point?" Ginger outlined.

"Can you blame me?" Steve Jenkins chuckled.

"I can blame you for a lot of things, but right now, I've got to talk about something important," Ginger began.

"More important than me basking in the glory of Steve Jenkins?" Steve Jenkins doubted.

"Listen, Roxie's gone off the deep end," Ginger explained. "She pulled her knife on me and Mark last night. The stress is clearly getting to her, and-"

Ginger stopped herself once she realized Steve Jenkins was paying more attention to his reflection than to her.

"If she gets crazy with that knife, she could end up scarring someone's face or taking out an eye or something," Ginger added.

No response.

"That includes you!" Ginger pointed out.

"Wait, what? I wasn't paying attention," Steve Jenkins responded.

"Vote for Roxie or she could mess your face up with a knife!" Ginger reiterated.

"What?! Not my face!" Steve Jenkins panicked.

"Yeah, your face," Ginger grinned. "Don't want that, do we?"

"I'll do it! Whatever you said it was!" Steve Jenkins agreed.

Ginger smacked her forehead.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** The longer Roxie sticks around, the longer she'll be able to tell everyone what she found out last night. I just need four votes to do it, and then hopefully the other guys vote for Jeremy or Shadya or someone who can kick her ass in a duel. So far I have Mark and Steve Jenkins, but who's going to be my fourth?

 **Steve Jenkins:** Yeah, I'm still not entirely sure what Ginger was on about. I feel like she said to vote Roxie, but that doesn't make any sense because she's allied with Roxie, right? I don't know, Ginger has always been one of the least relevant people I've ever met, so I don't think I've ever remembered a single thing she's ever said to me. _(He shrugs.)_

* * *

Dean and Wisdom went on a walk by themselves.

"So, uh, how did things go with Shadya?" Dean asked.

"Why work with us when she has stronger allies, right?" Wisdom answered. "But then, why did she stop when I mentioned Jeremy's reluctance to continue working with her? Could that become something? ...How about you?"

"Actually, I've been getting along alright with Jeremy... and Bunko, kind of," Dean smiled. "I... uh... I think that..."

Wisdom looked at him expectantly.

"I don't want to vote for Bunko!" Dean admitted in a panic.

"Do you think sticking with her is going to do us better than siding with Shadya?" Wisdom asked.

"I think she's going to keep us around longer than Shadya would," Dean said. "Why? Do you think that's a bad idea?"

"Is that how I came off?" Wisdom winced.

"It sounded like you were sure that voting for Bunko with Shadya was the better move," Dean said.

"Is that how you see me?" Wisdom asked. "As someone who's that confident?"

"Well, yeah," Dean said. "You've always seemed like you knew what you were doing and were determined to get it."

Wisdom let out a hollow chuckle. "Dean, I have never felt sure about myself."

"Wisdom..." Dean empathized.

"Every time I have an idea, I always second-guess myself after I say it," Wisdom continued. "You've noticed how I tend to add 'right?' or 'isn't it?' or something after I've said something, right? See, I just did it, didn't I? And again!"

"I didn't think for a second that you were second-guessing yourself," Dean said. "If anything, it made you sound more confident, from my point of view."

"And you saw me in the duel last night, right?" Wisdom mentioned. "I was _terrified_ of losing. Dean, the reason I was so mad at you for constantly beating yourself up is that that's what I've always been trying to avoid. I'm not a self-confident person. At all. I've been trying to work on it, though. That's why I signed up for this show. I want to prove myself, you know? I want to stop beating _myself_ up." Wisdom began to tear up. "I want to _like_ myself, you know?"

Dean pulled Wisdom in for a hug. "I know," he affirmed. "For what it's worth, I've always thought you were cool. And I honestly think you're even cooler now that you've confided all this in me if that makes any sense."

Wisdom let the tears out as she reciprocated Dean's hug.

"You two!" Shadya called out as she approached the two. "I have a proposition for you."

Dean and Wisdom broke their hug and turned their attention to Shadya.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** I guess Dean and I are both just trying to figure ourselves out, huh? I suppose it's a good thing that we both have each other. _(She smiles.)_

 **Dean:** I'm certainly no stranger to how Wisdom feels. I applied for this show being certain that I wouldn't get accepted, but I figured it was worth a shot anyway. And now look at us, being included in Shadya's plans.

 **Shadya:** This is going to be my toughest move yet, but it is the necessary move. _(She folds her arms.)_

* * *

Mark found Roxie smoking in her usual spot.

"Er, Roxie?" Mark asked.

"What do you want?" Roxie asked venomously.

"Well, for starters, why you're so mad at me," Mark frowned. "I... don't remember what happened last night."

'Yeah, of course, you don't!" Roxie shouted.

"I really don't," Mark quavered.

"Oh, don't act all sad," Roxie spat. "You aren't _capable_ of feeling sadness! You aren't capable of feeling _anything_!"

"What did I do?!" Mark cried.

"'What'd I do', he asks. Isn't that convenient? Losing memories," Roxie scoffed.

"It's not convenient!" Mark shouted. "It's the worst thing ever! My best friend is furious with me and I don't even know why! I woke up this morning to the news that you hate me, and, as far as I remember, I didn't do anything! Maybe I did do something, and whatever it is, I'm sorry, but I'm not the Mark who made you mad if that makes any sense. Just _talk_ to me, Roxie! Please... Tell me what happened."

"Ask Ginger. She's the one who's fucking with your memories," Roxie grimaced.

"I don't..." Mark tried to piece together what Roxie meant. He sighed. "Well, whatever I did to make you so mad at me, I'm really sorry."

"Just leave me the hell alone," Roxie ordered.

"Alright," Mark complied as he left the scene.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Ginger's been messing with my memories? How would that even... I mean, she did tell me to avoid Roxie. Something's definitely going on, here. Should I be writing this down? If I lose my memory again, this might be worth remembering.

 **Roxie:** Can't trust anyone. They might not even be real. Just some giant lie. ...I can't believe this. The one time I open up. What is wrong with me?!

* * *

Hildegard had taken Rhiannon to join her in looking for food.

"Why is it that whenever I try to assert myself, a man must insist that his way is better?" Hildegard griped.

"Kun was always a tryhard, but in all fairness, I do think Elmer also has a point," Rhiannon told her. "The hard part is deciding which path to take."

"Balderdash! Mine idea is clearly superior!" Hildegard insisted.

"Both ideas are good," Rhiannon reiterated. "Breaking up Dean and Wisdom could be effective, if not risky as far as Shadya is concerned. Getting rid of Bunko isn't as much of a power move, but it's the safer pick."

"I see no good reason why we must cater to Elmer," Hildegard said. "If he is to act as a child, then I did not sign up for this game to be a babysitter!"

"He's not that bad," Rhiannon said. "I know you're not looking for a relationship, so you don't really understand, but Louise getting voted out really affected him."

"Count out not my ability to sympathize!" Hildegard responded indignantly. "It is not as if I do not understand heartbreak... But it is something one must move past! Especially in his case, as they did not break up."

"Whatever the case, I don't want to just abandon a potential ally," Rhiannon said. "Especially since he and I get along pretty well. More so than I get along with Shadya."

"Aye, and I get along with Lady Shadya more than Elmer," Hildegard insisted. "Besides, what threat are Dean and Wisdom to us?"

"What threat is Bunko to us?" Rhiannon countered.

"Rhiannon! Hildegard!" Jeremy called as he ran up to the two.

"Jeremy. Good morrow," Hildegard said politely.

"I've been thinking about what you said, Rhiannon," Jeremy told the porn star. "I've got a plan, and I want the two of you to join me."

"Do tell," Rhiannon smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Look at Jeremy, out here making his own moves. I always knew I had an effect on men, but I didn't think that applied to the game, too. _(She giggles.)_

 **Hildegard:** I can't but curse Elmer for having more sway over mine ally, who has been with me throughout the whole game. Although might Lady Rhiannon feel the same about Lady Shadya? 'Tis a conundrum, to be sure.

 **Jeremy:** It's time I start making my own decisions in this game! Follow my own passions! Make my own moves!

* * *

Twilight shone above the cape of the duel arena as the teams made their way to their respective sets of bleachers. Chris stood on the duel arena proper.

"Nice to see you all again, campers!" Chris greeted. "I trust you're starting to get used to Kairi Island and all her ins and outs. Well, for one of you, that's going to be all for naught! Hehaha. Let's cast those votes!"

Some of the contestants cast their votes instantly, while others took a little bit to decide on who to vote for. Eventually, all fifteen votes were locked in.

"And that's all the votes!" Chris announced. "Let's see who you all voted for."

...

...

...

Ginger and Shadya were the first votes revealed.

"Give me a break," Ginger grumbled.

Shadya simply rolled her eyes.

...

...

...

Gretchen and Shadya.

...

...

...

Roxie and Jeremy.

"Seriously?" Roxie scoffed.

"Huh...?" Jeremy began to sweat.

...

...

...

Ginger and Jeremy.

...

...

...

Gretchen and Shadya.

Shadya folded her arms as she looked at her teammates.

...

...

...

Ginger and Jeremy.

"Are you serious?" Ginger leered.

Jeremy tapped his fingers together.

...

...

...

...

...

...

Ginger and Jeremy.

"That's four votes for Ginger. That's enough," Chris announced.

The final vote count for the Brilliant Beaches displayed as four votes for Ginger, two votes for Gretchen, and one vote for Roxie.

"Now, we're at four votes for Jeremy and three votes for Shadya," Chris said as he turned to the Tough Tundras. "If the last vote is for Shadya, we'll hold a re-vote. If not, Jeremy will be sent into the arena."

Jeremy took a deep breath.

...

...

...

...

...

...

The last vote revealed was for Jeremy.

"And that's that! Our duelists tonight: Ginger and Jeremy!" Chris announced.

The bridges between the bleachers and the arena rose up. Ginger and Jeremy reluctantly made their way up to the arena.

"Well, this isn't how I wanted us to reunite," Jeremy said.

"Just because we're friends doesn't mean I'll go easy on you," Ginger reminded him.

"Of course not. And I won't, either," Jeremy said with a confident smile.

The two bridges lowered while the bridge between the arena and the Dock of Shame rose.

"Ginger, Jeremy, your duel is as follows:" Chris began as interns came from the Dock and set a table in the center of the platform. "Kairi Island represents everything that water entails, and that includes all the plants and animals that live within it. You will be tasked with eating whatever we serve you. Whoever finishes the entire thing first will win a point. We'll be going best three out of five. If you puke, you've forfeited the round. Any questions?"

"What if we finish at the same time? Or puke at the same time?" Jeremy asked.

"We've got cameras for a reason. We can analyze the footage in slow-mo to see who really did it first," Chris figured.

Silence.

"Alright, let's get this duel started!" Chris said enthusiastically.

Jeremy extended his hand to Ginger's. The roboticist accepted the handshake.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** I didn't eat a whole lot of seafood growing up, but I've developed a bit more of a taste for it as I've gotten older. Though the mountains are my domain, I will conquer the sea as well!

 **Ginger:** I've never been a picky eater, so I'm fairly optimistic about my chances, here. Then again, this is Jeremy we're talking about. He's nothing if not willing to try new things.

* * *

An intern delivered two covered platters to the table, placing one in front of each duelist.

"Our first dish will be the easiest," Chris said. "Then again, a surprising amount of people refuse to eat... seaweed!"

The intern removed the covers from the platters, revealing two bowls full of cooked, wet seaweed.

Both duelists looked apprehensive.

"On your marks... Go!" Chris announced.

The two began eating immediately.

"Ew, seaweed?" Steve Jenkins cringed.

"People eat seaweed all the time," Roxie told him. "Just not so much in western countries."

"Weeb," Gretchen teased.

"Do you want to die?" Roxie threatened calmly.

Ginger chewed slowly with a pained look on her face, while Jeremy wolfed down the plant. It wasn't much longer before Jeremy had finished eating the contents of his bowl. He opened his mouth to prove his completion.

"Jeremy takes the first round!" Chris announced.

The next two platters promptly replaced the empty bowls.

"You may or may not have seen this one advertised at a sushi restaurant," Chris chuckled.

The intern removed the covers to reveal hollowed-out sea urchin halves with an orange paste inside.

"Ack!" Jeremy jumped.

"What the hell?" Ginger winced.

"This is uni, a Japanese dish made of sea urchin genitals!" Chris announced. "Bon... Appetit!"

Ginger immediately took the small spoon provided and began shoveling the uni into her mouth. Jeremy began to do the same with great hesitation.

"I grew up Japanese and _I_ don't even like uni," Bunko gagged.

"Why the genitals specifically? That is not what they're for," Rhiannon grimaced.

"Perhaps the urchins in question partook in sexual immorality and got their due justice," Hildegard suggested.

Bunko looked at Hildegard with confusion, and Rhiannon, with annoyance.

"My guild at home would have laughed at my jest," Hildegard pouted.

With her head start and faster rate of eating, Ginger finished her uni long before Jeremy could do the same. With her mouth open, Chris confirmed her finish.

"Ginger takes round two!" Chris announced. "It's still anyone's duel, and we've got some _delicacies_ for you two tonight. Hehaha."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Hey, I said I wasn't picky, not that I had no dislikes. I don't do seaweed. It's nasty. The uni was alright. I don't really get the hype one way or the other.

 **Jeremy:** See, the thing is, I probably could have finished the uni faster if I didn't know what it actually was. I guess that's the point of the duel. I'm starting to miss the seaweed.

* * *

"You may have eyes on you at all times here on Total Drama, but this is ridiculous," Chris chuckled.

The intern revealed the next dish, which looked like black olives on top of pink meat.

"This doesn't look so bad," Jeremy smiled.

"That's where you're wrong: it _does_ look so bad because it can't look anymore because it used to look because what we've got here is tuna eyes!" Chris cackled.

Jeremy paled.

"Is that sanitary?" Ginger cringed.

"I wasn't told that it was _un_ sanitary," Chris shrugged. "This round begins... now!"

Ginger lifted up her plate and slid the tuna eyes into her mouth without looking. Jeremy attempted the same strategy. The two chewed as rapidly as they could.

"I am actually going to lose my dinner," Nestor whined.

"Take one of these," Virgil offered candy to his friend. "It's made with ginger. Like, the actual ingredient, not the girl. It's good for your stomach."

"You are an angel," Nestor said as he accepted the candy and popped it in his mouth.

"Hey, can I have one?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"I only have so many," Virgil declined.

Both duelists finished their tuna eyes and opened their mouths.

"By a split second, Ginger manages to take this point!" Chris announced. "A valiant effort on both your parts. If Ginger wins this next round, she secures her spot in the game."

"It's okay if you want to bow out. I won't think any less of you," Ginger grinned to Jeremy.

"It is not in my nature to give up!" Jeremy insisted. "I will fight to the bitter end!"

The fourth platters were set in front of the duelists.

"This next dish might be a bit fatty for your liking. We'll see," Chris grinned.

The intern revealed two slabs of light pink meat with dark gray skin.

"This is muktuk, a delicacy with a lot of vitamin C," Chris said.

"...What's the catch?" Ginger asked.

"Well, if you want me to call it by layman's terms, what we have here is whale blubber," Chris answered.

"Is that even legal?!" Jeremy gasped.

"Don't you trust me?" Chris asked in faux offense. "Anyway, you may start eating... now!"

The two reluctantly picked up their muktuk and tore into it.

"Man, if there was ever a duel I'm glad I got to miss out on," Dean gulped.

"Speak for yourself. I've always wanted to try muktuk," Shadya huffed.

"Really?" Wisdom asked. "For the vitamin benefits?"

"Because I simply haven't had the chance yet," Shadya answered simply. "How can I be the woman who's done everything if I have not yet done everything?"

"Is that the one thing preventing you from having done everything?" Wisdom asked.

"Don't be a wise-ass," Shadya tsked.

Jeremy chewed as quickly as he could, while Ginger seemed to have trouble breaking the fatty dish down. It took some doing, but after a while, Jeremy was able to finish his muktuk and showed his empty mouth to Chris.

"Jeremy ties it up!" Chris announced. "The final dish is nigh... Hehaha..."

Ginger and Jeremy shared a worried glance.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jeremy:** I have no idea how either of us ended up here. Ginger seemed to be doing well in the game, and, well, I thought I was, too. Did Shadya get wind of my plan? Either way, I'm not out of this yet! Bring it on!

 **Ginger:** I don't know if the others found out about Mark, or if I just happened to be the target of the day, but I _will_ be coming back. I will _not_ let this experiment end just yet! I will eat my own leg if I have to!

* * *

The intern, who had a noticeably disturbed look on his face, carried the final platters onto the table. He left the arena as quickly as he came.

"Hey! You're supposed to take the lids with you!" Chris called. "I'll give him an earful later... if I can remember which one that was. Anyway, we've certainly saved the best for last."

Chris removed the covers of the platters himself, revealing what looked like a mess of tentacles.

"What is this, calamari? That's easy." Ginger scoffed.

"Mine just twitched!" Jeremy cried.

"Yes, this is what's known as sannakji," Chris said. "The octopi you see before you were alive mere minutes ago, sliced to bits while still alive."

"...Oh," Ginger squeaked.

"Yeah, it doesn't get much fresher than that," Chris continued. "You may enjoy the feeling of the tentacles still wriggling in your mouth. Oh, but make sure you chew thoroughly. The suckers on these things might lodge it in your throat, and you could choke."

The description of the dish alone was enough to make one of the duelists sick.

"Well, that was anticlimactic," Chris complained. "Of course, for heaving, you've lost not only the round but the whole duel."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Even if I hadn't puked, I'm not sure I would have been able to eat that," Jeremy groaned.

"Really? What about never giving up to the bitter end?" Ginger asked.

"I guess, as many mountains as I've climbed, as strong as I've made my body and my resolve, even I have my limits," Jeremy said with a sad chuckle. "I don't think I'm going out for sushi again anytime soon."

"Just to make it official, this means that Jeremy will be walking the Dock of Shame tonight," Chris said.

The bridges between the bleachers and the arena raised themselves. The Tough Tundras, as well as Nestor and Steve Jenkins, made their way to the platform.

"Well, I tried to make a move, and it backfired," Jeremy told the Tough Tundras. "I'm still glad to have met each and every one of you, though!"

"Jeremyyyyyyy!" Bunko cried as she hugged her friend. "You did not deserve this! I will avenge you!"

"I don't doubt it," Jeremy laughed as he gave Bunko a friendly pat on the back.

"Sucks to see you go, man," Steve Jenkins said. "Maybe in another world, you could have been immortalized among the pantheon of Steve Jenkins' followers."

"Yeah, be grateful that that didn't happen," Ginger quipped.

Shadya had not looked Jeremy in the eye since walking onto the platform. Jeremy glanced at her.

"Well, Shadya, you got me," Jeremy said. "I guess that's why you're the celebrity and I'm just a guy who likes mountain climbing. Good game."

"...It is for the best that you have been removed from this game," Shadya said, still not looking him in the eye. "You were only getting in my way."

"Only because you were getting in mine," Jeremy admitted.

Shadya shot Jeremy an angry look.

"Well, I'd say it's about time Jeremy gets on out of here. We've still got to clean his sick off of here," Chris said.

Dean, Wisdom, Rhiannon, and Nestor all joined Bunko in hugging the mountaineer before they all let go.

"You guys are great. I will never forget you!" Jeremy grinned.

Jeremy was met with a chorus of goodbyes as he walked across the bridge and down the Dock of Shame. He set foot onto the Boat of Losers, which drove off.

"And for our final order of business, it's time for Ginger to decide if she wants to remain on the Brilliant Beaches or join the Tough Tundras.

Shadya looked at Ginger expectantly.

"Sorry, Shadya, but I've got my business on the Brilliant Beaches," Ginger said. "I choose to stay with them."

Shadya wordlessly made her way back across the bridge to her team's bleachers.

"Alright, so that's that," Chris said. "The rest of you are dismissed for the night!"

The final fourteen all made their way back to their respective camps.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I need to make sure Mark stays safe, especially now that Roxie's become a massive thorn in our side. This _will not_ be compromised!

 **Shadya:** Loath as I am to admit it, even though I am the most accomplished woman in the world, I am still a woman. Jeremy would do well not to play with the heart of a woman again.

* * *

Chris remained on the arena platform.

"Another day on Kairi Island, another grueling duel, another hopeful soul eliminated," Chris said. "How will Jeremy's elimination affect the dynamics of the Tough Tundras? How will Ginger's survival affect the dynamics of the Brilliant Beaches? Will Gretchen and Virgil make up? Will Elmer and Hildegard make up? And who will be the next to lose the almighty duel? The answers to all these questions just might be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Ginger - Gretchen, Nestor, Roxie, Steve Jenkins

Gretchen - Mark, Virgil

Roxie - Ginger

 **Tough Tundras:**

Jeremy - Elmer, Hildegard, Rhiannon, Shadya, Wisdom

Shadya - Bunko, Dean, Jeremy

* * *

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

Mark - The Amnesiac

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet

Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Tough Tundras:**

Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist

Dean - The Eternal Loser

Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

Hildegard - The Paladin

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: Jeremy was one of the last characters I added to the Shuffle Party cast, so going in, I didn't have a very concrete idea of what I wanted to do with him, and I figured I'd let the dynamics of the characters just kind of play out and see what happened from there. I think he added a lot of positivity that this game needed, but ultimately, I had more long-term plans for so much more of the cast, so I felt I couldn't really justify taking Jeremy too far into the story._

 _Actually, a character very similar to Jeremy was almost included in Alpha Party, albeit as a female character. The character quirk of taking teammates on hikes in order to bond with them was the only plan I had in mind for that character, and I thought it would work well in particular with this season given the increased focus on surviving the elements. Jeremy definitely played with his emotions on his sleeve, but was it his emotions that doomed him, or was it Shadya's? What do you guys think? And what did you think of Jeremy overall?_


	13. Planning To Get Yourself Killed Are You?

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the dueling platform. "In our last episode, a cornered Ginger confessed to Mark and Roxie that the amnesiac boy was just her robot experiment, although she deleted any memories of that from Mark's brain. Roxie sure was quick to flip on her old allies after that. Hehaha. Meanwhile, Elmer and Hildegard debated whether they should stick with Shadya's plan to vote for Bunko, or push for a Wisdom vote instead, while Jeremy found himself coming to terms with the fact that Shadya wasn't looking out for his best interest. Virgil found himself super fed up with Gretchen, while Wisdom showed a more vulnerable side of herself to Dean. Emotions were high, is what I'm getting at, here.

"The Brilliant Beaches found themselves with another split vote. Ginger tried and failed to push a Roxie vote, while Mark and Virgil set their sights on Gretchen once again. The rest all piled their votes into Ginger. The Tough Tundras, on the other hand, were nearly split down the middle, with Jeremy's alliance voting for Shadya, other than Wisdom, who helped Shadya's alliance in voting for Jeremy. The duel consisted of five rounds of seeing who could eat some funky seafood delicacies the fastest. In the end, Jeremy just couldn't stomach the competition, leaving the hiker to take a journey down the Dock of Shame.

"The lines may be drawn on both teams, but who says that you can't cross the line? That's what our campers seem to be figuring out. Will any lines be crossed tonight? Watch and find out, dear viewer! This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The morning after Jeremy left, all seven remaining Tough Tundras sat down to eat breakfast together.

"Man, we're almost down to the size of the original teams," Dean pointed out. "Actually, now that I think about it, the Tundras would be down to six if I hadn't moved over here."

"It's not fair!" Bunko cried. "The other guys get to go live on a nice beach where there's probably a whole lot of food, and it's warm, and they get to bathe, meanwhile we're out here shivering our butts off and all my friends are getting voted out!"

"Anyone who is not able to overcome harsh environments does not deserve to win this game," Shadya stated. "Frankly, I had thought Jeremy of all people would be able to do better."

"In his defense, I'm not sure I could have gone as long as he did without puking," Elmer chimed in. "That stuff was nasty."

"Quelling your gag reflex takes practice~" Rhiannon tittered.

"I'm sure it does," Hildegard snarked.

"Hey, are we just going to ignore how Shadya threw her own friend under the bus?!" Bunko interrupted.

"He threw me under the bus, too," Shadya pointed out. "He isn't blameless, either. If we should be concerned about anything, it's the third vote that was cast against me last night. Obviously, Jeremy and Bunko voted for me, but who among those that gave their word to me would betray my trust like that?"

"Would whoever did that admit it so readily, knowing the consequences?" Wisdom asked.

"Bunko is the next person to go. That will not change," Shadya mentioned.

"Okay, wow!" Bunko shouted, hurt. "Screw you guys!" She stood up and stormed off.

Shadya looked at the other five of her teammates one by one. "You don't have to admit you did it, but I will figure it out. And when I do, you're going to wish you had admitted it."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** No, I can't be out of the running just yet! _(She holds up an unflattering caricature of Shadya.)_ Shadya's right: someone besides me and Jeremy voted for her last night. There's still a chance! I just need to find out who it is, and get things back on the right track! _(She holds up a caricature of herself looking determined.)_

 **Dean:** Obviously, I'm the other Shadya vote. Leave it to Dean to cause more drama without even trying, right? Heh... I just knew Jeremy would have the majority against him as-is, and he was my friend, which isn't something I can say about a whole lot of people. He didn't deserve my vote against him.

 **Shadya:** Truth be told, whoever cast the third vote against me will be the target after Bunko, regardless of if they admitted doing so or not. Empty threats can still do a lot of good for your authority if they're vaguely believable enough.

* * *

The Brilliant Beaches, similarly, all ate breakfast together. Mark caught Roxie glaring at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mark asked her quietly.

"What? Raise your volume setting, I can't quite hear you," Roxie snarked.

"Just ignore her," Ginger urged Mark.

"You know, I've just got to say," Steve Jenkins began. "The sky is a very nice shade of my eyes today. Really makes you think 'Man, I'm just so blessed, being outside on a day where the sky reminds me so much of Steve Jenkins'."

"Amen," Virgil added dryly.

"Okay, why are we even letting Mark eat?!" Roxie finally snapped. "He doesn't even need food! It's just a waste!"

"What crawled up your ass last night, sweetie?" Nestor asked.

"Don't give me that!" Roxie shouted.

"Roxie, don't do anything rash," Ginger growled.

"Fuck you, I won't do anything rash!" Roxie continued. "You know why I'm so sick and tired of Mark and Ginger? Because Mark isn't even a real human being! He's a robot, built by Ginger to trick us all!"

Everyone's eyes were on Roxie.

"Stop trying to take all the spotlight. It doesn't suit you," Gretchen eventually responded nonchalantly.

"Yeah, no offense, but where the hell did this come from?" Virgil asked.

"That's what I've been asking myself ever since yesterday," Ginger said.

"It's true!" Roxie insisted. She went up to Ginger's knapsack and began digging through it.

"Hey! Keep your hands out of my stuff!" Ginger scolded as she ran up to stop Roxie.

"That's what she said," Steve Jenkins chuckled.

Everyone else shot Steve Jenkins a look.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I can't help but wonder if Roxie telling everyone is a blessing in disguise. She's so obsessed with Mark being my creation that she just looks and sounds like a crazy person. I guess nobody would have even guessed if she hadn't said anything, but so far, it doesn't look like anyone believes her. So that's good.

 **Nestor:** Do I believe Roxie? Honestly, Ginger did mention having built a functioning robot even back on The Best Team, so it's not entirely out of the question. If he is, then he's a guaranteed number for her. Ooh, but imagine being on a TD season with a robot! My fellow bloggers are going to have a _field day_ with this!

 **Gretchen:** Mark and Roxie are getting so tired. Yes, we get it, you're insecure and you want attention, that doesn't make you special. If you want to be the protagonist, you need to _own_ it, like me. I have purple hair and a charming personality. What do they have? Forced sexual tension and no cool friends?

* * *

Dean and Wisdom took a hike on the mountain trail that Jeremy always used.

"Dean, can I ask you a question?" Wisdom inquired.

"Oh, of course," Dean complied.

"Were you the third Shadya vote last night?" Wisdom asked.

"Yeah," Dean admitted. "Jeremy was my friend. He was actually nice to me and, like, wanted to spend time with me. I couldn't vote for him after all that."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't going to vote for Shadya?" Wisdom frowned.

"I... honestly don't really have a good reason," Dean sighed. "I guess I was... afraid of the backlash, or something?"

"Are you scared that I'm going to get really mad at you again?" Wisdom asked.

"Honestly, I might be," Dean realized.

Wisdom couldn't hold her tears in.

"It's not like, a conscious fear!" Dean assured her. "But, I guess on some subconscious level? It really took me by surprise the first time. N-Not that there have been other times, it's just... augh, why am I so bad at talking?"

"Dean, do you keep hanging out with me because you're scared that I'll be mad if you don't?" Wisdom asked.

"I'm honestly not," Dean said sincerely. "You're my friend, Wisdom, and I'm proud to say so. So I caught you in a bad mood once. It happens. ...You're not just hanging out with me out of obligation or guilt or something, right?"

Wisdom shook her head.

"Oh thank goodness," Dean said with a sigh of relief. "I get that it's hard not to beat yourself up over mistakes. But I've long forgiven you, and I'm even starting to forgive myself for making you so mad. That's what that moment taught me, Wisdom: you can't keep hanging on to your failures. N-Not that I think you're a failure, but... you know what I mean?"

Wisdom broke a small smile and nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** I think... I don't think I've ever trusted someone as much as I trust Dean. And I'm truly confident in saying that.

 **Dean:** It's still bizarre to me that someone as cool as Wisdom has insecurities, too, but, as an expert on being insecure, I'll do what I can to help her through them. N-Not that I think she _needs_ my help or anything, but... I don't think she's _against_ me consoling her? I've never been good at these things.

* * *

Gretchen and Nestor met up away from camp.

"Alright, first thing's first: are we going to put any stock in what Roxie said at breakfast?" Gretchen asked.

"See, that's where I'm stuck," Nestor told her. "On one hand, it's so out-of-left-field and unrealistic, but on the other hand, why would she just go crazy and make that stuff up so unprompted?"

"Roxie's fickle. Don't forget her stray voting for you while you were aligned with Ginger and Mark just because she doesn't get your sense of humor," Gretchen pointed out.

"Do you think we should trust her?" Nestor asked.

"That brings me to my next point, actually," Gretchen said. "The vote last night. Four votes for Ginger, two for me, and one for Roxie. Obviously, you, Steve Jenkins, and I were three of the Ginger votes. Mark was probably one of the me votes, and Ginger voted for me or Roxie - doesn't matter which. What I'm concerned about is where Roxie's and Virgil's vote lie. One of them voted for Ginger, and the other voted for me or Roxie. We can't put our stock in one of these people."

"Do you have any ideas? Spill the tea, girlfriend," Nestor said excitedly.

"I think Virgil voted for me," Gretchen said point-blank.

"...Are you sure?" Nestor asked, less excitedly.

"It's not rocket science," Gretchen leered. "Virgil has made it clear that he doesn't like me at all, and let's not forget that he's on pretty good terms with Mark. If we assume Mark voted for me, it's not out of the question to say that Virgil voted for me, too."

"Well, maybe you should cool it with the homophobe jokes," Nestor suggested.

"Think with your big head, not your little head," Gretchen scoffed.

"I resent that," Nestor frowned. "Just admit that your social game isn't as good as you think it is, boo-boo. Protagonists are supposed to have relatable flaws. It could work for you."

"You are _so_ lucky we need each other's votes to stay alive in this game," Gretchen hissed.

"I'll talk to Virgil about his vote," Nestor assuaged.

"Please do," Gretchen told him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Gretchen's getting a little big for her britches, now isn't she? Honey, please. _You_ need _my_ vote but _I_ do not need _your_ vote. Now that Roxie's making a big deal about Ginger and Mark, Virgil and I can always join back up with them without needing to worry about Roxie.

 **Gretchen:** Please, it's so obvious why Nestor is so insistent on keeping Virgil close and alive in the game. I've played along because people like us need to stick together, but if Virgil is voting for me, then I can't guarantee his safety. I've got to look out for number one.

* * *

Elmer and Rhiannon went off to forage food.

"So, we're still sticking with a Bunko vote, it seems," Elmer mentioned.

"I hear your tone and I agree," Rhiannon said. "We're probably not far from another shuffle, and Bunko is not going to be a threat to us."

"And to think I had pushed for her to go in the early rounds because I was afraid she would be," Elmer chuckled.

"I don't think you ever told me anything about Hiram," Rhiannon struggled to recall.

"Oh, you know, he became obsessed with Bunko, he stole Roxie's pocket knife, threatened us all with it at elimination if we didn't vote for me. The kind of thing you'd expect," Elmer recounted. "What about the Knights of Goodness? I never knew half of them, and I barely knew Kun."

"Yeah, we don't have the best track record, I guess," Rhiannon giggled. "Well, Tegan constantly got on Kirkland's nerves, and he wasn't afraid to get mean with her. Tegan was actually a nice kid, and Kirkland was actually pretty smart, but the bad kind of outweighed the good with them, you know?"

"I can see that," Elmer nodded.

"Liberty, well, what you saw with her was what you got," Rhiannon continued. "Her nocturnal lifestyle did help us figure out who was stealing our things. It was Kirkland, which, honestly, I wasn't shocked. As for Kun, he really means well, but he just couldn't assert himself enough to get much of a foothold in team dynamics."

"No kidding," Elmer agreed. "I think you made the right call ditching him when you did."

"It wasn't an easy call, but I don't regret making it," Rhiannon thought aloud.

"I'm not going to lie, when I heard you were a porn star, I didn't expect for you to become one of my closest and smartest allies," Elmer admitted.

"Yeah, I... get that a lot," Rhiannon tried to keep a smile.

"I mean, hey, nothing wrong with that," Elmer added. "You're clearly smart enough to pursue whatever field you want. If porn is your passion, then follow your passion."

"...Yeah," Rhiannon half-responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Damn, I think I touched a nerve with Rhiannon back there. As much as I don't want to, I guess I still find the whole "porn star" thing kind of weird. But, as I said, she's probably my best ally right now, and I have nothing but respect for her as a player.

 **Rhiannon:** No matter how hard I play the game, I'm never going to be able to separate my career from myself, am I? Wait, no, I'm here to shed a positive light on sex workers. To show the world that we're not just mindless objects. _(She looks to the ground.)_

* * *

Ginger, with her knapsack on, led Mark into the jungle.

"I think we're far enough away from camp. What did you want to talk to me about?" Mark asked.

"Well, what do you think about Roxie's outburst, for starters?" Ginger asked.

"I'm still... I guess upset that she won't even tell me what's going on," Mark admitted. "Do you know? Are you going to tell me?"

"I meant specifically about her calling you my robot," Ginger clarified. "Do you believe her?"

"It sounds ridiculous, but, at the same time, I can't think of any reason why it couldn't be true outside of 'it's unrealistic', and that would be coming from the guy with amnesia, so, is it really?" Mark figured.

"Does it bother you, the possibility?" Ginger interrogated.

Mark paused to think. "If what Roxie says is true, and I am a robot, and that's why she's mad at me, then... I honestly don't know. Why is that a reason to be mad at me?" Mark paused again. "...It's true, isn't it?"

"It is," Ginger confirmed. "And I'm done hiding it from you. At this point, it's a futile endeavor. Yes, you are my robotic creation, and the reason for your 'amnesia' is because you simply never had a life before this game, to begin with."

Mark silently contemplated this.

"How do you feel?" Ginger asked as she took her device out of her knapsack and prepared to type into it.

"'Upset' is the first word that comes to mind," Mark confessed. "I've spent all this time wondering what I was like in the past, what my real name is, what my hobbies and talents are. So to find out that... well, none of that exists. I only exist for this game."

"That's an assumption," Ginger told him. "You will continue to live after this game is over. I brought you here in order to test your capabilities in interacting with human beings. It was going pretty well until Roxie decided to stick her nose in things."

"I feel... less than human," Mark continued. "I can't quite put into words why I feel that way. Something about you creating me for your own gain if that makes any sense."

"Another assumption," Ginger tsked. "Although... that _does_ indicate a capability of learning and making inferences. Oh, Ginger, you _are_ a genius."

"I need to be alone," Mark said as he walked off.

"A need to unwind due to overpowering emotions," Ginger grinned as she continued typing into her device. "The future really is now."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** We are on the cusp of a world where robots can live alongside humans as equals. Well, okay, it'll take some time to get past the whole "civil rights" debate of it all, but history has shown that robots will likely be fully integrated into society before I'm dead, and I look forward to it.

 **Mark:** _(He sits there silently as if processing his thoughts.)_

* * *

Hildegard and Shadya made their way back to camp with firewood in their arms.

"Hast thou any idea on who may have betrayed us?" Hildegard asked.

"My best guess is Dean," Shadya answered. "Elmer and Rhiannon have shown no reason to betray me, nor have you. Wisdom is the one who inspired me to vote for Jeremy at all. And Dean spent a notable amount of time with Jeremy. If you look at the big picture, it all makes sense."

"I'd have guessed him or Elmer," Hildegard said.

"Elmer?" Shadya asked. "Was Elmer planning to betray me?"

"Perhaps not explicitly, but he did show great contempt at Wisdom no longer being a target," Hildegard explained.

"I see," Shadya nodded. "Keep an eye on him for me, would you? Anything that may confirm or deny this possibility could make the difference."

"And what will you do?" Hildegard asked.

"Keep an eye on Dean," Shadya answered. "I still find him the far more likely candidate.

"Mm," Hildegard nodded. "If it is all the same to thee, might I keep an eye on Dean? Elmer and I are not the best of terms."

"Elmer is not easily intimidated. Dean demonstrably is," Shadya declined. "Elmer trusts you more than he trusts me. You should talk to him."

Hildegard threw her hands up in defeat as the two made it to camp. Bunko sat by the fire, drawing in her sketchpad.

"Oh, hey, you two!" Bunko acknowledged. "Which of these pictures of Jeremy being brutally betrayed by his friends looks sadder? This one, or this one?" Bunko flipped between two exaggerated pictures of Jeremy crying.

"...The first one," Shadya answered as she set the firewood she had brought by the fire pit.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I can take this no longer! Ever since we have set foot on this accursed island, nobody gives my ideas a second thought! Elmer is set in his ways, and Lady Rhiannon tends to side with him, not to mention Lady Shadya, who still takes credit for my idea to vote out Kun!

 **Shadya:** Elmer is too smart to have voted for me, knowing full well that there is simply no benefit in him doing so. And yet, Hildegard, his ally, threw him under the bus. Interesting. It seems they really aren't getting along. I will chalk that up as Rhiannon's problem to solve. As long as they vote with me, I couldn't care less.

 **Bunko:** That, my friends, is what we call "subliminal messaging". By asking Shadya which picture looked sadder, I was sneakily reminding her that she's a terrible person for what she did to Jeremy. It's going to eat at her all day, and there's nothing she can do about it! _(She laughs proudly.)_

* * *

Steve Jenkins and Virgil had gone into the jungle to find food when they found Roxie smoking at her usual spot.

"Brah, how many smokes did you bring?" Steve Jenkins questioned.

"Every pack I already had plus a couple more," Roxie answered. "Don't judge me."

"Nobody's judging you, kid," Virgil said. "Except maybe for that 'Mark is a robot' spiel. What was that about?"

"It's true!" Roxie insisted. "Ginger admitted it to me and Mark the night Liberty went home. And then she took it out of his memory, probably with her dumb luxury item. Ugh, if The Best Team had never won that challenge..."

"Then I wouldn't have my sick-ass skateboard with me," Steve Jenkins said as he folded his arms.

"You never use that thing," Virgil pointed out.

"Beaches aren't made for skateboarding!" Steve Jenkins insisted. "Catch me pulling mad tricks on the next island."

"Anyway, while I have you here, what are we thinking about tonight's vote?" Virgil brought up. "Gingersnap again, or do we go for Mystery Pop this time around?"

"...Mark," Roxie answered. "He's not a person. He doesn't deserve to stay. Let's get rid of him."

"That's awfully robophobic of you," Steve Jenkins pointed out.

"That isn't a thing, Steve Jenkins!" Roxie denied.

"We still don't know for sure if this robot thing is even real," Virgil mentioned. "I am leaning more towards voting for Gingersnap, myself, but if both of y'all would prefer Mystery Pop, I'm fine with that, too."

"I vaguely remember Ginger saying something to me about trying to get Roxie voted off," Steve Jenkins thought aloud. He turned to Roxie. "Are you sure you don't want to lose Ginger?"

"Ugh. Fine," Roxie agreed reluctantly. "But I'll be damned if Mark makes it to the next shuffle."

"There are no guarantees in this game," Virgil told her.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** See, I like Mystery Pop. He's pretty cool. I don't know what happened between him and Toxic Waste, nor do I particularly care. All I know is, I'm not voting him out before I vote Gretchen out. I'll vote for Gingersnap because she and I never really clicked, but that's about it.

 **Roxie:** Can I trust those two? They clearly don't care that much... about this Mark thing. Hm, but then again... Ginger just got voted out. Perhaps once again.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Yeah, I still don't get what the big deal is. Even if Mark's a robot, that's like the first cool thing about him. Is Roxie that dedicated to lameness that she gives up on a guy once he becomes cool? If so, can I trust that she won't backstab me, the coolest person of all time?! Aw man, what are we thinking, working with her?! I don't want to get voted out!

* * *

Shadya found Dean looking through the team's hunting kit.

"Planning to get yourself killed, are you?" Shadya commented.

"Heh, no, but I understand the confusion," Dean said with a sad chuckle. "I've decided that I want to start putting more effort into helping with camp life. We may all be plotting against each other, but we're still a team."

"Very aptly put," Shadya nodded. "However, if you think that this is going to alleviate my targeting you after Bunko goes, then you are sorely mistaken."

"Wh-What?!" Dean gasped.

"I know it was you who cast the third vote against me," Shadya said. "It's the only thing that makes any sense. I knew you were incompetent, Dean, but I didn't think you were stupid. What did you have to gain by voting for me?"

"You wouldn't understand," Dean sighed.

"I have never been so insulted," Shadya growled. "I have studied human psychology extensively. I understand everything about the mind. Who do you think you're dealing with, here?"

"Alright, if you must know, I just didn't think voting for Jeremy was justified when he already had a big majority against him!" Dean confessed.

"It would have prevented you from being a target. You don't think that's a justification?" Shadya scoffed.

"Would it?" Dean questioned. "Who would you have targeted after Bunko left in this hypothetical situation?

"You _or_ Wisdom. You might have had a chance," Shadya said as she shook her head.

"Yeah, voting to keep Jeremy was fruitless, but you know what? At least he and I are still friends... I think," Dean retorted.

Shadya scowled. "If you think you're doing anything but digging your grave deeper, you truly are sorely mistaken."

"I don't care, Shadya," Dean dismissed. "You're hardly the meanest person I've dealt with. Besides, I've won a duel before. So has Wisdom. We're not as weak as you think."

Dean took the hunting kit and walked off, leaving Shadya simmering.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** What the hell was thaaaaaaaaat? I've never just stood up to someone like that before! I just kind of said what I was thinking... without thinking! Shadya's absolutely going to have my head for this. Oh crap oh crap oh crap!

 **Shadya:** I have trained my body and mind without pause in order to become the perfect human being. I have run marathons, broken records, solved problems that have stumped scientists and engineers for years... and _Dean_ thinks he can stand up to me?! _(She laughs hollowly.)_ I may have to consider my options tonight.

* * *

Steve Jenkins swaggered up to Gretchen.

"Hey, G. Enjoying life?" Steve Jenkins winked.

"Not for another several years," Gretchen said dryly. "And don't wink at me again."

"Look, I'm Steve Jenkins. I don't flirt with just anybody," Steve Jenkins insisted. "Only when I mean it."

"Let. Me. Transition. First," Gretchen growled.

"Oh, is that... is that a thing?" Steve Jenkins asked, confused.

Gretchen took a deep breath. "I'm doing my best, but I am nowhere close to looking how I want to. You flirting with me is triggering my dysphoria pretty bad, not to mention it's patronizing as hell."

"Shit, that's like the opposite effect of what I was going for," Steve Jenkins winced. "My bad."

"Let's just... What do you think of voting for Mark or Roxie tonight?" Gretchen inquired.

"Oh, for sure," Steve Jenkins agreed. "Roxie would for sure vote for Mark with us, but she's also kind of an emo brat, so I could go either way, here."

"Mark pisses me off more, so I'm leaning more towards him," Gretchen admitted.

"Oh, Virgil and I actually talked to Roxie earlier," Steve Jenkins mentioned. "Virgil said he was still partial to a Ginger vote if that means anything."

"Of course he is," Gretchen sighed. "Well, we won't need him if you, Roxie, Nestor, and I can come to a consensus on Mark, and, at that point, he'd be stupid not to vote with us anyway."

"Anyone would be stupid not to vote with Steve Jenkins under any circumstance," Steve Jenkins boasted.

"Is that so?" Gretchen droned.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I've voted in the majority every time since we came to this island," Steve Jenkins pointed out.

"...Wait, even when I was voted into the arena?!" Gretchen realized.

"That was before we were working together," Steve Jenkins pouted. "The overall point here is that working with me is going to do you well."

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing to you," Gretchen smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Steve Jenkins is an idiot, but he seems like he's going to stay loyal to me. Perfect traits to have in a new deuteragonist. And... yeah, I know what I said about looking for a love interest, but Steve Jenkins is making me realize that I'm just not ready. Eh, the protagonist hooking up is an overdone cliche, anyway.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Damn, I'm not used to, like, people telling me I did something wrong. This is wild. I think Gretchen's actually the first trans person I've met, so I guess I didn't really realize what I was doing. I'm still cool to work with her on a game level, though. She's smart and good-looking, just like me. We'll be unstoppable!

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon went off to take a walk together.

"How farest thou, Lady Rhiannon?" Hildegard asked.

"The stress is definitely catching up to me," Rhiannon sighed. "And you?"

"Quite the same," Hildegard agreed. "I feel as if I've been reduced to but a vote. My opinions mean naught when the others live stubborn lives."

"Aw, sweetie," Rhiannon sympathized. "Yeah, I guess I can see how that might have happened. But we knew going in that our team wasn't going to be as easy to deal with as the Knights of Goodness."

"Verily, but this much so?" Hildegard frowned. "I did not sign up for this game so many times to be an afterthought! I am Lady Hildegard, Paladin of the Thirteen Provinces! I am not some mere squire to be taken advantage of!"

"You go, girl!" Rhiannon encouraged. "I'm actually in a similar boat. I'm out here to prove that sex workers aren't just eye candy. We're people, too. I thought I was doing a good job, but Elmer just said something like 'I never would have thought a porn star could be so smart'."

"I do not understand. Is that not your very goal?" Hildegard questioned.

"I mean, it is, but it's still kind of a rude thing to say," Rhiannon explained. "Maybe it was the way he said it, I don't know, but it made me feel like he still just saw me as an adult film actress and not his smart friend and ally."

"Mm. Perhaps we do have more in common than I would have thought," Hildegard nodded. "Let us henceforth prove that we are more than meets the eye! We are Lady Hildegard and Lady Rhiannon of the Knights of Goodness! We will take this game by storm!"

Rhiannon giggled. "You'd better believe it."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** This truly is a renaissance for Lady Hildegard! But... what is a good paladin to do? I cannot betray my allies, as that is neither the lawful thing nor the good thing to do. Yet, mine allies pay no heed to my words. 'Tis a conundrum, indeed.

 **Rhiannon:** I've been with Hildegard since this game began - well, not _been_ with, but you know what I mean - and if there's one thing I know about her, it's that she's not one to just let things happen without her input. Maybe I should talk to Elmer and Shadya and see if I can get them to listen to her a bit more. It could do us a lot of good in the long run.

* * *

Mark approached Roxie, who was in her usual spot.

"Well... you were right," Mark conceded. "Ginger told me everything."

"And she didn't remove that memory from you?" Roxie scoffed.

"She said that hiding this from me any longer was a 'futile endeavor'," Mark answered. "But, anyway, I came here to tell you that the others are eating lunch. Since I apparently don't need to eat, I'll just wander around, I guess."

"What were all those times you ate before?" Roxie questioned.

"Ginger says she gave me the capability in order to better blend in," Mark explained. "As far as waste removal, apparently she's been taking care of that for me at night when checking my progress."

"Gross. TMI," Roxie gagged.

"You really don't like me being a robot, do you?" Mark pointed out. "Not that I like it, either, but what difference does it make to you?"

"Mark, it... It makes all the difference!" Roxie shouted. "You keep calling me your friend, but you aren't capable of friendship. Friendship is based on liking someone, and _you_ can't like someone. You don't have emotions."

"Roxie, that's clearly not true," Mark frowned. "That right there, what you just said, that made me upset."

" _Artificially_ upset," Roxie corrected. "Your emotions are just programmed or something. They're not real!"

"They're real to me!" Mark cried. "Besides, isn't the human brain just an organ delivering information through electric currents? How is that any different from a CPU?"

"So you forgot that you aren't even a human being, but you know that? Give me a break," Roxie scoffed.

"I just don't understand where this is all coming from," Mark sighed.

"Because I _liked_ you, you fake piece of shit!" Roxie snapped. "You kept saying you thought I was cool, you actually wanted to spend time with me, you called me your... friend..." Roxie lit a cigarette. "But none of it was real. You probably don't even know better. And you _certainly_ didn't like me the way I thought I liked you! So go wander around by yourself! I'm going to get lunch because we humans actually need that!"

Roxie stormed off. Mark forlornly walked deeper into the jungle.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** I can't believe this. If you told me before this game started that I'd fall for a fucking robot, I'd call you insane. I guess I'm the crazy one for ever thinking I could open up to anyone without it biting me in the ass. Fuck.

 **Mark:** Do I just not have a thorough enough understanding of human emotions? Ginger certainly as emotional as Roxie, so maybe that has something to do with it. I don't know, this is... still just a lot to take in.

* * *

Bunko, Elmer, and Wisdom were the last three people on their team to eat lunch, as everyone else had already finished and left to do other things.

"So, you two voted for Jeremy last night, huh?" Bunko accused.

"Yeah, I did," Elmer admitted. "I know we talked about it last night, and I apologize for misleading you, but Dean and Wisdom promised Shadya their votes. If they had both voted for Shadya and it went to a tie, I would have flipped, but otherwise, there was no reason to leave the majority."

"So you hold no close loyalty to Shadya?" Wisdom asked.

"Closer to her than to you," Elmer snipped.

"And you're not off the hook either, Wisdom," Bunko pouted. "Why would you promise Shadya your vote?"

"Why not?" Wisdom asked.

"Um, because Jeremy was your friend!" Bunko pointed out.

"Has going against Shadya done anyone on this team any good?" Wisdom pointed out. "What crimes did Kun, Fred, Jeremy, or even I commit to warrant being voted into the arena? What do all four of the Tough Tundras' votes have in common?"

"Exactly! Shadya's run them all," Bunko nodded. "That's why we need to stop her! But I guess voting your friend out to keep yourself safe was more important, wasn't it?"

"...Yes?" Wisdom confirmed. "Would you have put yourself on the line to save Jeremy?"

"What do you think I've been doing this whole time, pushing for Shadya to go?" Bunko argued.

Wisdom silently pondered this.

"I take back what I said before, Elmer, about you not being a bad person," Bunko decided as she stood up, having finished her lunch. "Both of you are dead to me! Dead to me!"

"Was Bunko always like this?" Wisdom asked Elmer.

"Not until Hiram's elimination," Elmer answered. "Hmm."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** At least Dean is still on my side. And... actually, I think it's just Dean. But I can still try to get Hildegard and Rhiannon on my side! It's a long shot, but I won't give up until the bitter end!

 **Elmer:** Now that I think about it, maybe Hiram really is getting to Bunko more than I thought. Ugh, I never liked that kid, but this is ridiculous.

 **Wisdom:** Is making a move to keep myself safe in the game so wrong? Is that not a part of the game we signed up for? Bunko is just overreacting, right?

* * *

Nestor and Virgil met up away from camp.

"So, you may be glad to know that Gretchen's been getting on my nerves, too," Nestor began.

"No shit?" Virgil smirked. "Do you think a Gretchen vote could be in the cards?"

"Ginger and Mark might go for it," Nestor nodded.

"From what I understand, Toxic Waste is set on Gingersnap or Mystery Pop, and Sweet Jenkins agreed on Gingersnap when that came up," Virgil recalled. "It might be tough to get Mystery Pop and Gingersnap against Gretchen when Toxic Waste is campaigning so hard against them."

"If we do vote out Roxie with them, they could return the favor voting for Gretchen," Nestor smirked.

"Damn ass, did we just secure our spots in the majority?" Virgil grinned.

"Hey, you two!" Ginger called out as she approached the boys. "I know it's been a while since we've really _talked_ talked, but I want your input on something."

"We were just talking about including you and Mark in our plans, actually," Nestor said. "What would you say about a Roxie vote tonight and a Gretchen vote tomorrow?"

"That would literally be the best possible outcome for me, holy cow," Ginger laughed.

"That'll show the others not to underestimate the smart kids," Virgil boasted as he took a bite of a chocolate bar.

"I'm still not one-hundred percent sure that Mark will vote for Roxie, but I can talk to him," Ginger said.

"I might join you. I think he trusts me, and hearing it from two people ought to make it easier to convince him," Virgil volunteered.

"By the way, is Mark really a robot?" Nestor asked excitedly.

"Yes, he is," Ginger confirmed, slightly annoyed. "Please don't make a big deal out of it."

"How can I not?!" Nestor geeked out.

Ginger and Virgil shared a glance.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Alright, I'll try not to flood Ginger and Mark with questions, because I don't want to scare them off of being on my side, but, like, oh my gawd, how am I supposed to just ignore a _robot_ being on my team?! That is so cool!

 **Virgil:** I'm glad to hear Blueberry's keen to get rid of Gretchen. I knew I picked a good partner going into the shuffle. And then Gingersnap shows up, apparently about to offer the exact same deal we were going to offer her? I guess my luck really has turned around.

 **Ginger:** Roxie's just making things immensely more difficult for both Mark and me, and then Gretchen is someone neither of us has really clicked with. Shoot, if this works out, we could have a real, strong alliance on our hands, here.

* * *

Shadya found Bunko sitting in the shelter, drawing something in her sketchbook.

"Bunko. A word," Shadya began.

"What makes you think I want to talk to you?" Bunko huffed.

"What makes you think that was a request?" Shadya countered. "How would you describe your relationship to Wisdom?"

"Wisdom? Tch. I thought she was cool, but then she just went and betrayed Jeremy like that!" Bunko ranted.

"Exactly. Someone who is so keen to flip sides cannot be trusted," Shadya stated.

"I know! Of course, Dean's going to be all like 'No, Wisdom's good, she's my friend', but is she really?! That's what Jeremy thought too!" Bunko continued.

"In light of this, I am letting you know that I will be voting for her tonight," Shadya said.

"Nice try, but we all know you're voting for me," Bunko scowled. "You said so yourself!"

"I have changed my mind," Shadya said.

"Oh, is that so?" Bunko asked sardonically. "Isn't being overly cocky that your ideas are the best, like, your _thing_?"

"I changed my mind last night. You were originally going to go home last night," Shadya pointed out. "Do not test me. You are not in a favorable position, and it would do you well to keep that in mind."

"Why are you even offering this to me? Don't you have your mindless minions who already give you a majority?" Bunko scoffed.

"As an act of trust, I will tell you: Hildegard made a tepid attempt to throw Elmer under the bus earlier for the third vote against me," Shadya admitted. "They are not mindless, and that is becoming increasingly apparent to me."

"I don't buy it," Bunko denied.

"Well, it won't be for sale for much longer," Shadya reminded her. "Don't say I never gave you a chance. This is your chance."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** After Dean's earlier display, I was very, very close to naming him my next target, but given the recent tensions between Elmer and Hildegard, I fear she may not go through with it out of spite. The reason I named Wisdom as my target instead of Dean is that I know Bunko would not vote for him in light of his prior loyalty to Jeremy. One must consider every possible factor.

 **Bunko:** Dean and I are the last good people on this team... so, either way, we'll have to work with some bad people if we want a shot. But two wrongs don't make a right! But... what else are we supposed to do?!

* * *

Roxie found Gretchen tending to the team's campfire.

"Roxie. You don't usually come to camp unless it's time to eat or sleep," Gretchen pointed out.

"I was wondering if you minded at all if we voted for Mark tonight instead of Ginger," Roxie said simply.

"That's literally what I was thinking," Gretchen grinned. "Mark's whole 'I'm a robot' thing is totally giving him protag points and I am _not_ here for it!"

"Well, you know, also he's not a real person and doesn't deserve to be here," Roxie added.

"Damn, savage," Gretchen commented. "I guess you aren't wrong, though. Would it be unethical to just deactivate him if he doesn't have a soul?"

"Don't tempt me," Roxie smirked.

"You really hate him now, don't you?" Gretchen nodded.

"I don't want to get into it," Roxie said. "So, are we aligned now?"

"If this Mark vote goes as planned," Gretchen confirmed. "Steve Jenkins will vote with us. Nestor should, but with Virgil making a big stink about me, I'm only about 80% sure about Nestor. I'll touch base with him."

"So, are Nestor and Virgil dating, or...?" Roxie asked.

"Nestor wishes," Gretchen joked.

"Ah," Roxie nodded. "So you don't trust Virgil at all?"

"He made such a big deal about me making jokes about him," Gretchen scoffed. "Like, give me a break, Mr. Smug Sarcastic Guy. He's been giving me shit since the Lollipops."

"Men suck," Roxie added.

"Isn't that the truth," Gretchen agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** This whole time, I'd heard nothing but bad things about Gretchen, but she's not even that bad. I guess it just goes to show that you can't make assumptions about people.

 **Gretchen:** I've never really had a gal pal in this game, but Roxie could work out. I know I just said I'd be willing to vote her out, but once Mark's gone I'm assuming she'll shut up about him and focus on her loyalty to the real protagonist of this game.

* * *

Elmer and Rhiannon had gone to forage for food.

"Hey, sorry about what I said earlier," Elmer apologized.

"Oh, that?" Rhiannon asked. "Yeah, I get that it's something you're not really used to talking about. Does Louise even let you watch porn?"

"I've... tried not to, ever since we got together," Elmer blushed.

"'Tried', huh?" Rhiannon teased. "You're only human, and humans have needs."

Elmer cleared his throat. "So, when did you realize you wanted to do... what you're doing?"

Rhiannon's smile fell. "I had been fired from my retail job, and that's what I was relying on to pay college tuition."

"Fired? For what?" Elmer asked.

"For goofing around on my phone when there weren't any customers in my checkout lane," Rhiannon grumbled. "Anyway, I suggested to my boyfriend at the time that we film some videos of us and sell them, because, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm a bit of an exhibitionist." Rhiannon chuckled. "That's how I got my start. I was contacted by WebYoung, and the rest is history."

"So is Rhiannon your real name?" Elmer asked curiously.

"Nope," Rhiannon winked. "And yes, I did pick the name after the Fleetwood Mac song. Sue me."

"That was my initial assumption," Elmer said. "What's your real name, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Ooh, it sounds like you're _really_ curious about all my intimate details," Rhiannon teased.

"I-I'm just trying to normalize all this in my mind," Elmer blushed. "Besides, I'm very happily spoken for."

"I know, I know," Rhiannon smiled. "Promise not to laugh at my real name?"

"Is it that funny?" Elmer asked.

"Jessica Smith," Rhiannon revealed. "It's literally the most basic white girl name of all time. No one's going to remember Jessica Smith. Rhiannon Rispoli - now that's a name that you'll remember."

"I'm not going to lie, I forgot what your porn surname was," Elmer said.

"Jerk," Rhiannon playfully as she nudged him lightly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** The last thing I want is to alienate my closest ally in the game, so I'm trying to keep myself from any more slip-ups like the one I made earlier today. Too bad it's still a really awkward topic of discussion. The last thing I need is to be picturing her naked... Sorry, Louise.

 **Rhiannon:** Elmer's trying so hard to be a gentleman, but there's no man on the planet who can resist a nice ass. _(She giggles.)_ Out of respect for his relationship, I'll try not to get too graphic if he asks me about this kind of stuff. It's cute that he's so curious about it, though.

* * *

Ginger and Virgil found Mark by himself in the jungle.

"Hey, Mark?" Ginger began. "We're here to talk about the vote."

"That's happening soon, huh?" Mark asked despondently. He looked at the two. "Virgil's with us?"

"Yes, indeed, I, notorious backstabber and untrustworthy liar Virgil, have offered my services to you," Virgil japed. "Blueberry should be with us, too, but Gingersnap and I wanted you to hear this from both of us to prove that this is a real-ass move."

"We're planning on voting for Roxie," Ginger said. "Because-"

"I'll do it," Mark interrupted.

"Damn, she had a whole speech prepared and everything," Virgil joked.

"I keep trying to talk to Roxie, but it's clear that, no matter what, she's just going to hate me for who I am," Mark said with clenched teeth. "Not that it matters to her. As far as she's concerned, I can't even _feel_ sadness."

"Well that's rude," Ginger scoffed. "I didn't spend sleepless months programming emotions into you for people to just dismiss it like that!"

"Besides, has she, I don't know, seen you? You're clearly not taking this well," Virgil added.

"Either way, I'm..." Mark sighed. "I think we should vote Roxie out."

"Don't overheat yourself. Remember to drink water," Ginger reminded him.

"I need water?" Mark asked.

"To keep your interior liquid cooling system, well, cool," Ginger told him. "You've got a lot of processing power to deal with."

"I have been neglecting that today. Thanks for letting me know," Mark said.

Mark made his way back to camp.

"So, I thought it'd be rude to ask him, but can he even taste?" Virgil asked Ginger.

"Nope. That's going to take me _years_ ," Ginger said.

"Cool, so I don't have to feel bad for not sharing candy with him," Virgil chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Maybe I should ask Ginger to tone down my capability to feel sadness. This is just... _(He sighs.)_

 **Ginger:** Roxie's big crusade is bad enough as far as the team is concerned, but if she makes it to the next shuffle? That could sink my _and_ Mark's game. Plus, I mean, you've seen how it's affecting him. He can't focus on the game if he's that upset.

 **Virgil:** Damn, Toxic Waste really is toxic, isn't she? She's really done a number on my man Mystery Pop. Should I keep calling him that? He's not really a mystery anymore. Eh, if I come up with something I like better, I'll use it, but I kind of like 'Mystery Pop'.

* * *

Dean and Wisdom set off for a hike when Hildegard ran up to join them.

"Soft, young party members!" Hildegard called as she caught up.

"Hildegard?" Wisdom asked. "Is it time to go to the duel already?"

"Nay. I merely wish to speak with thee," Hildegard told them.

"Really? You've... never spoken with us before," Dean pointed out.

"This is the dawning of a revitalized Lady Hildegard!" Hildegard declared. "Dean, as I am sure thou knowest, Lady Shadya is quite displeased with thee."

"Yeah, that's not surprising," Dean gulped.

"Are you offering to join us in voting for her?" Wisdom asked.

"My offer was to vote for Elmer," Hildegard corrected. "Do keep in mind that he doth actively campaign against thee."

"She isn't wrong about that," Dean thought aloud. "Do you think Bunko would go for it?"

"She is our only hope of a fourth vote, isn't she?" Wisdom nodded. "Would her earlier declaration to Elmer and myself that we are dead to her be of any worth?"

"I can talk to her about it," Dean offered. "Obviously, I can't guarantee success, but I think I'm the only person on this team she still trusts after last night." He turned to Hildegard. "Would you be up to voting for Shadya if Bunko insists on a Shadya vote?"

"I will have to think about it," Hildegard said. "I wisheth not to lie to thee. Lady Shadya would be a riskier vote."

"Is every vote not a risk?" Wisdom asked. "What if the person you vote for is not eliminated? What if they become cross with you?"

"Wisdom's right. We can't get hung up on that," Dean agreed. "We just have to... go for it!

Wisdom smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** The great Lady Hildegard is no fourth wheel on the wheelbarrow that is Lady Shadya's alliance! Elmer doth contribute nothing to the cause but needless defiance and a singular vote. But if Dean and Wisdom were to become our fourth and fifth wheels, then we may truly get somewhere!

 **Wisdom:** Can we even trust Hildegard? Why does she want our help now, so out of nowhere? Is she really going to betray her alliance, just like that? That seems kind of out of character for her, doesn't it?

 **Dean:** I'm still not so sure about all this, but this is probably our only possible means to a majority vote, so we might as well go for it. If all else fails, I could always tell Shadya about Hildegard throwing Elmer under the bus like this. Though whether or not she believes me is a different story...

* * *

The Brilliant Beaches made their way to the duel arena. Nestor and Steve Jenkins hung in the back.

"Hey, Nestor, can I ask you something?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"Yes, your hair looks great today," Nestor said flatly with a roll of his eyes.

"I mean, that's not what I was going to ask, but you aren't wrong," Steve Jenkins grinned as he ran his fingers through his hair. "It's, like, an LGBT-type thing."

"This should be good," Nestor muttered.

"Gretchen told me I should wait for her to finish transitioning before hitting on her," Steve Jenkins said. "Is that really a thing, or is she just trying to play hard to get?"

"Oh," Nestor's tone changed. "I mean, it really is a case-by-case basis, I think. One transgirl I know started dating her girlfriend before she came out as trans, and they're still together after she's on estrogen. In Gretchen's case, I can't imagine she's playing hard to get. That doesn't sound like her MO."

"I gotcha," Steve Jenkins nodded. "It's just, I never get rejected, like, ever, so I wanted to make absolute triple sure."

"You've never been rejected once?" Nestor asked in disbelief.

"Is it really so hard to believe?" Steve Jenkins said with a wink and a toothy grin. "Then again, I've never met a girl like Gretchen before."

"Well, if she said to wait until she transitions, that's not a hard no," Nestor told him. "Just be patient. If you still like her by the time she's ready, then go for it."

"Patience, huh?" Steve Jenkins thought aloud. "That's not something I've ever tried before, but, in case we've all forgotten, I _am_ Steve Jenkins. Nothing's too difficult for me!"

"That's the spirit," Nestor said playfully.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** I don't know when the hell Gretchen's going to feel like she's ready, but I feel like it's going to be worth the wait regardless. We'll be the hottest couple Total Drama's ever known.

 **Nestor:** It still blows my mind that Steve Jenkins has a crush on Gretchen of all people. I only really encouraged him because there's no way in hell this whole thing's _not_ going to stir up all the think pieces and blog posts. Let's get some buzz going, ladies!

* * *

Twilight shone above the cape of the duel arena as the teams made their way to their respective sets of bleachers. Chris stood on the duel arena proper.

"What's happening, dudes and dudettes?!" Chris greeted. "I hope you guys are ready for another pulse-pounding vote because that's literally the entire point of Total Drama! Let's hurt some feelings tonight!"

The campers were more than happy to oblige Chris, as the votes were cast nearly instantaneously. A couple of seconds had passed before every vote was locked in.

"Alrighty, let's see who tonight's duelists are!" Chris grinned as he gestured towards the big screen. "The first votes are for..."

...

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Mark and Shadya.

Neither contestant seemed shocked to receive a vote.

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Roxie and Wisdom.

"Tch," Roxie scoffed.

Wisdom began to fidget.

...

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Mark and Shadya.

Mark sighed. Shadya remained unfazed.

...

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Roxie and Wisdom.

Roxie folded her arms.

...

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Mark and Shadya.

Mark nodded as if accepting his fate. Shadya raised an eyebrow.

...

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Roxie and Wisdom.

"Hehaha. Here's a real nail-biter. We've got three votes each for Mark, Roxie, Shadya, and Wisdom," Chris said. "Only one vote each per team. Whose neck will be on the line tonight?"

...

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...

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...

The final votes revealed were for Roxie and Shadya.

"What?!" Roxie and Shadya both shouted in unison.

"I see," Gretchen said as she glanced at Nestor.

"Did...?" Elmer looked at his teammates, dumbstruck.

The bridges between the bleachers and the arena rose up. Roxie and Shadya both quickly made their way to the duel platform.

"You ladies seem excited," Chris jibed.

"Get blacked," Roxie grunted.

"Let's just get this over with," Shadya said.

"Eager to get going. I like it," Chris chuckled.

The two bridges lowered while the bridge between the arena and the Dock of Shame rose. Two interns walked into the platform - one with two large covered buckets, and one with two big paint rollers. The intern with the buckets placed one of the buckets where one of the plastic tubes from the first duel had been placed and screwed it into place in a similar fashion.

"This isn't what I think it is," Roxie murmured.

"Your duel today will see you painting the very duel platform itself!" Chris announced.

Both buckets had been screwed into the platform and had their lids removed, and both duelists had been handed a paint roller. The interns returned to the Dock of Shame and the bridge connecting the two lowered.

"Now, both buckets full of paint have been secured onto the platform, so you can't just spill it all over, nor can your opponent knock it off the edge," Chris said. "You're going to have to use your paint rollers to mark your territory with your team color. Whoever has the most of their color showing by the end of five minutes will have won their place back in the game."

"The colors will just mix," Shadya pointed out.

"Nope! This paint dries ridiculously quickly once applied. Don't question it," Chris handwaved.

"Is this really the best you could come up with?" Roxie asked.

"Hey, I saw my nephew playing some kind of video game like this. I'm down with what's cool, okay?!" Chris insisted.

"And he just straight-up admits where he stole this from," Roxie said.

"Let's just get this duel going," Chris said indignantly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** So it turns out we can't trust Nestor or Virgil. Wonderful. And of course, Ginger and Mark target me for being the one to leak their little secret. Well, I'll show them!

 **Shadya:** I can safely say that I've never done anything like this before, but I suppose Total Drama is all about new experiences. As with all other experiences, this one will end in my victory.

* * *

Roxie and Shadya both stood by their respective paint buckets with their rollers at the ready.

"And... GO!" Chris declared.

Both girls dipped their rollers in the buckets and began to paint the floor of the duel platform. Roxie's paint was a bright yellow, much like the stylized Brilliant Beaches text always displayed on the monitor. Shadya's paint, in a similar way, was a dark blue.

Roxie ran her roller in the area near her bucket, while Shadya began painting away from her bucket.

"So, do you mind telling me why Roxie is down there and not Mark?" Gretchen asked Nestor.

"You said it yourself, boo. Roxie's getting tired and annoying," Nestor responded.

"I said Roxie _and_ Mark," Gretchen pointed out harshly. "And we decided to vote for Mark."

"And I decided to vote for Roxie," Nestor responded.

Once Roxie had painted a moderately sized area around her bucket, she rolled over some of the paint Shadya had already applied, covering the blue with yellow.

"Is that your decision?" Shadya scoffed, amused.

"If I have more paint on the platform than you, I win," Roxie pointed out. "That's how this works."

"Who would have thought that Roxie has similar taste in video games to Chris's nephew?" Virgil chuckled.

"That explains a lot about her, actually," Ginger remarked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** By painting over the parts of the platform where Shadya has already painted, I'm adding to my own score and taking away from hers at the same time. It's basic strategy.

* * *

Shadya, with her paint roller never leaving the platform, dashed up to Roxie and pushed her off the platform.

"You've made the wrong decision," Shadya said.

Shadya returned to her paint bucket and dipped her roller back in. She went to where Roxie had painted over and reclaimed the space.

"Oh, I knew sending Shadya into a duel wasn't a good idea," Dean fretted.

"It's not over yet, is it?" Wisdom reminded him. "She can still lose, can't she?"

"I guess..." Dean admitted. "Roxie's going to have to make up a lot of ground, though. Getting pushed off is going to cost her a lot of time."

Roxie, halfway up the ladder leading back up to the platform, stopped to cough, before doubling her efforts to climb back up.

"You didn't vote for her, right?" Elmer whispered to Rhiannon. "I mean, I assume you didn't, but..."

"No, it wasn't me," Rhiannon confirmed. "And I assume it wasn't you, either?"

"Nope," Elmer confirmed. "And I thoroughly doubt Shadya voted for herself."

Rhiannon glanced at Hildegard, and then back at Elmer. Elmer nodded.

Roxie had made it back to the duel platform, to find that Shadya had painted a large portion of the unpainted parts of the area.

"Alright, it's on," Roxie declared.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Sure, I could paint over what little of the platform Roxie has painted over, but I know I can win without doing so. Maybe if there is literally no part left unpainted, and she starts catching up to me. Maybe.

* * *

Roxie and Shadya both proceeded to paint over parts of the platform that had not been painted over, though it was clear that Shadya had been able to cover more ground due to Roxie's fall.

Roxie eyed Shadya as she painted over the platform. Shadya had returned to her paint bucket to get her roller ready again. Roxie took advantage of the opportunity and ran towards Shadya, giving the girl a hard shove which sent her off the platform.

"Not so funny when it happens to you, is it?" Roxie grinned darkly.

"I cannot imagine that will end well for Roxie," Hildegard commented.

"Or it could be just what she needs to pull ahead!" Bunko said with determination.

Roxie turned around to run back to her bucket but stopped to cough instead.

"I guess the cigarettes are catching up to her again," Mark pointed out. "Humans are so weak."

"Man, you're not going to try to wipe out all humans and take over the world, are you?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"No, I just... If she can tell me to my face that my emotions are invalid, I feel I can at least take that shot behind her back," Mark said resentfully.

As soon as Roxie had returned to her paint bucket, Shadya had already returned to the platform.

"If you want to play dirty, then we can play dirty!" Shadya called to her competition.

"What, pushing me in the first time wasn't playing dirty?" Roxie questioned.

Shadya ran up to Roxie to push her, but Roxie saw her coming and grabbed onto her hands before Shadya could connect. The two duelists, with their hands and eyes locked, pushed with all their might.

"It seems our duelists have given up on painting altogether and are just duking it out now!" Chris announced. "Man, I missed this kind of stuff!"

With Shadya's superior physical strength, it wasn't difficult for her to start pushing Roxie back, despite the loner's best attempts to stand her ground.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Roxie:** I will not lose this duel! I will not let Mark outlast me!

 **Shadya:** I will be winning this game by any means necessary. Failure is not an option.

* * *

Shadya had forced Roxie close to the edge of the platform. Roxie strained to keep herself from being pushed off entirely, and ended up coughing. This took Shadya aback, causing her to reflexively ease up on her efforts. Roxie took this opportunity to shift her weight in a pivot, forcing Shadya off the platform and down into the water.

"Oh my god," Ginger said flatly.

"Is this happening?" Bunko asked excitedly.

Roxie made it to her paint bucket and dipped her roller in.

"And that's time!" Chris suddenly announced.

"What?!" Roxie gasped.

"Let's take a look at how our duelists did tonight," Chris said as the giant monitor showed a birds-eye view of the platform.

...

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...

It was very clear to see that the majority of the platform was still painted dark blue.

"I think I can safely say that the winner of tonight's duel is... Shadya!" Chris announced.

"No..." Roxie said shakily. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

Shadya made it back onto the duel platform. "Even with your dirtiest tricks, you still cannot defeat me," she told Roxie.

"Yeah, as you leave out the part where you played dirty, too!" Roxie snapped.

Shadya paused to consider Roxie's words. "My journey is more valuable than yours. You cannot claim otherwise."

Roxie let an aggravated scream into the sky.

The bridges between the bleachers and the arena raised themselves. After noticing that no one was in any hurry to say goodbye to Roxie, Elmer stood up and made his way down.

"Sorry to see you go," Elmer told his old ally. "I was hoping we could have worked together again in the merge."

"Listen to me. And tell everyone on your team," Roxie said to Elmer. "Mark is lying. He's always been lying. He and Ginger are working together and always have been."

"No kidding?" Elmer asked, mildly surprised. "I'll definitely keep that in mind."

Roxie looked back at the Brilliant Beaches, then towards the sky. "To find my passion... and for its darkness' prevail... Get me the hell out."

"Alright, I guess that, with that, Roxie has officially been eliminated from Total Drama Shuffle Party," Chris made clear.

The bridge between the arena and the Dock of Shame had raised itself. Roxie wasted no time walking across the bridge, down the Dock, and onto the Boat of Losers, which promptly drove off upon her boarding.

"And for our last course of action before dismissal," Chris began as he turned to Shadya. "Will you be sticking with the Tough Tundras, or jumping ship to the Brilliant Beaches?"

"I will be joining the Brilliant Beaches," Shadya decided.

"Mm," Elmer nodded in understanding. "By the way," he told Shadya. "I believe Hildegard was the traitor."

"I have no basis to believe or disbelieve this for sure," Shadya responded. "It could just as easily have been you, or even Rhiannon."

"I suppose that's understandable," Elmer figured disappointedly.

"Alright, Shadya's on the Brilliant Beaches, now," Chris confirmed. "That's going to be all for tonight. You're dismissed."

The contestants all made their way back to camp.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** The first shuffle happened after six eliminations. This has been the fifth elimination since then. Another shuffle has to be coming soon. Ergo, I should get to know everyone on the Brilliant Beaches as much as I can. This should give me a head start on the dynamics, no matter what happens.

 **Elmer:** So Mark's amnesia was faked? Does that mean he's hiding his real name and everything from us? And Ginger is involved, too? I may have to ask one or both of them about this in the future, if possible. Until then, I've got a whole mess of a team to deal with.

* * *

Chris remained on the arena platform.

"Roxie did what she could, but it clearly wasn't enough," Chris said. "How will Shadya's mutiny affect the dynamics of the teams? Will Hildegard's conspiring bite her in the butt? Is Mark's cold, metal heart starting to grow colder? And who will be the next two contestants to square off in a duel? The answers to all these questions just might be answered, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Roxie - Ginger, Mark, Nestor, Virgil

Mark - Gretchen, Roxie, Steve Jenkins

 **Tough Tundras:**

Shadya - Bunko, Dean, Hildegard, Wisdom

Wisdom - Elmer, Rhiannon, Shadya

* * *

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

Mark - The Amnesiac

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Tough Tundras:**

Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist

Dean - The Eternal Loser

Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

Hildegard - The Paladin

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: Another character who was originally going to make it farther, and someone who sharp-eyed observers of my deviantART may remember as being a part of a cast that was ultimately scrapped, Roxie finally takes her leave. It's not uncommon in Total Drama fics to see Gwen expys who start off antisocial but end up opening up and becoming friendlier after some cute boy causes her to let down her walls and melt her heart. The buildup to that part of Roxie's arc was certainly intentional, but, being as insecure as she was, finding out that the guy she liked was entirely artificial was always meant to cause major friction between the two. I was going to have that conflict last longer, but I figured it would probably get annoying and forced pretty quickly, and I think Roxie had already delivered just about as much as she could have. What do you guys think? Did Roxie leave too soon, not soon enough, or at just the right time?_


	14. I'm Sorry, But There's Someone Else

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the dueling platform. "In our last episode, tensions ran high on both teams, and loyalties were questioned and tested as the status quo proved too much for some of our contestants. Roxie outed Mark's status as Ginger's robot to her entire team, though her hysteria didn't do her a whole lot of favors in that regard. Meanwhile, Bunko lashed out at her teammates for siding with Shadya in the Jeremy elimination. Both teams had a lot to consider once these firm lines were drawn, and schemes were definitely tossed out in reaction to that. Just as it should be. Hehaha.

"Nestor decided he was getting pretty sick of Gretchen, and solidified his alliance with Virgil in that regard, while Gretchen told Steve Jenkins off about his constant flirting with her, which solidified their alliance in a weird, roundabout way. Roxie, on the other hand, was dead set on getting rid of Ginger and Mark, which led to her bonding with Gretchen a little bit. Dean and Wisdom opened up to each other a little more, as did Elmer and Rhiannon, while Hildegard declared that she was sick and tired of just being another vote for Shadya.

"Both teams ended up with a spectacularly close 4-to-3 vote. Roxie campaigned for Mark to go, Ginger campaigned for Roxie to go, Shadya campaigned for Wisdom to go, and Hildegard campaigned for Elmer to go. That last one didn't really stick since Bunko was adamant on voting for Shadya, but that did end up with Roxie and Shadya facing off in the arena. Both duelists tried their damnedest, but Shadya ultimately proved that she isn't just talk, as Roxie found herself quickly boarding the Boat of Losers. Shadya also shocked more than a couple people when she opted to shack up with the Brilliant Beaches following the duel.

"How will the last round's votes affect this next round? Is Shadya onto something regarding an oncoming shuffle? And, as always, who will be walking the Dock of Shame tonight? Watch and find out, dear viewer! This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

It was morning, and Gretchen awoke to the smell of something cooking.

"Wha' the?" Gretchen asked groggily as she sat up and looked at the campfire.

Shadya had been spit-roasting a massive fish - about the size of her own torso - over the campfire.

"Good morning," Shadya said to Gretchen.

"Holy cow!" Gretchen gasped. "Where did you find that?"

"What's going on?" Nestor groaned as he and the other members of the team reluctantly woke up.

"I went fishing this morning," Shadya said simply. "The Tough Tundras did not have the fishing kit that I won, and I missed being able to use it dearly. Do you honestly mean to tell me that none of you have been taking advantage of it?"

"I tried a few times, but couldn't find anything," Virgil admitted.

"Shady's back and delivering once again," Steve Jenkins grinned as he walked up to the fish hungrily.

"Yes, dig in, everyone," Shadya coaxed. "I caught this fish for all of us."

"You guys enjoy," Mark said with a sad smile as he walked off.

"What's his deal?" Shadya asked Ginger.

"I'll fill you in later," Ginger assured her.

"I will not stand here and have my work unappreciated by someone who was nearly voted out last night," Shadya leered.

"Oh, honey, you don't know the half of what's going on with that boy," Nestor told her.

"It can't possibly be any more interesting than my life, but okay," Shadya dismissed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Don't think I don't see what Shadya's doing, trying to earn favor with us by making us this super awesome breakfast. She is smart, that much can't be denied, but is she worth including in our plans when the merge is probably getting close and she's just waltzed right into our team? We shall see. _(He snaps his fingers confidently.)_

 **Steve Jenkins:** Aw man, it's totally going to break Shady's heart once she realizes that I don't think she's the cutest girl on the team anymore. I'm going to have to let her down easy. That's one of the many talents in the Steve Jenkins reper-toyer. I've had a lot of practice, what with girls constantly throwing themselves at my feet and all.

 **Ginger:** Damn, Shadya really has no idea about the whole Mark situation. I'm actually not sure how she'll react to that whole thing. She's programmed AIs before, but something on Mark's level? Why, have I done something that could make her jealous? _(She snickers coyly.)_

* * *

Back at the Tough Tundras' camp, Hildegard awoke to find no food ready to be eaten. She smirked to herself, exited the shelter, grabbed her lance, and set off.

"Where are you going?" Wisdom, who had also just awoken, asked quietly enough not to wake the rest of the team but loud enough for Hildegard to hear.

"The party will need breakfast," Hildegard said. "I am off to hunt."

"Is it wise to do so alone?" Wisdom wondered.

"I am a capable paladin!" Hildegard insisted. "I would not have thee insult me so when I went out of my way to assist you!"

"What's going on?" Rhiannon groaned as she and the rest of the team awoke.

"I will be back momentarily with breakfast!" Hildegard announced before heading off to the wilderness.

"If she thinks this will make up for last night, she is sorely mistaken," Elmer spat.

"What are you talking about? She finally voted on the right side of history!" Bunko smiled. "Shadya is gone! Well, she's still in the game, but she's not on this team anymore!"

"You're not at all concerned that Shadya might be really mad at you for successfully voting her out?" Dean shuddered.

"No way, Jose!" Bunko declared. "Shadya isn't as scary as she thinks she is. I think we proved that last night when we voted her out. Just because she's good at stuff doesn't mean she doesn't have her weaknesses!"

"What weakness? Hildegard just backstabbed her," Elmer scoffed.

"Elmer..." Rhiannon pleaded.

"Her weakness was being unlikable enough that people would want to backstab her," Bunko pointed out. "Man, I'm hungry. When's Hildegard going to get back?"

"Did you not see her just leave a minute ago?" Wisdom questioned.

Bunko pouted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** You see, all it takes is a little hard work and determination, and your dreams _can_ come true! I actually did have a dream once where I voted out Shadya, except that was back on the other island before I was even on a team with her. _(She gasps.)_ Can I predict the future?! I swear, I will use this power for good!

 **Hildegard:** Last night, I did indeed betray Lady Shadya. I believe that a part of me was always aware that her commanding presence was stifling my own, and that is simply not the path I wish to carve out for myself! Is such an act of deception befitting of a paladin? ...Nay, but no human is perfect.

 **Wisdom:** I've been receiving a lot of votes as of late, haven't I? Is Elmer still upset with me and Dean for voting out Louise? Should I try to mend things with him once again? Will that just make things worse? _Can_ things get worse with him?

* * *

Ginger and Shadya met up in the nearby jungle.

"It's excellent to be able to work with you again," Shadya said with a small smile. "The Tough Tundras were tough to deal with indeed."

"Yeah, I bet," Ginger snickered. "So, do you want the story from the beginning, or just what's relevant right now?"

"The story right now should suffice," Shadya told her.

"Mark and I are a duo, Nestor and Virgil are a duo, and Gretchen and Steve Jenkins are a duo," Ginger listed.

"The Best Team really did fall apart without me, didn't it?" Shadya sighed.

"I mean, would _you_ have worked with Nestor or Steve Jenkins if given the choice between them and better allies?" Ginger questioned.

"I suppose not," Shadya conceded. "You said you would explain why Mark felt the need to leave before. Now is as good a time as any."

"Oh, right," Ginger twitched. "You see, Mark is not suffering from amnesia. Mark never had a past, to begin with. Mark is my robotic creation, whom I have brought with me to see how easily he can learn social cues and to see if he could overcome the uncanny valley. Both seem to be a success thus far."

"...And he left because he lacks a need to fuel himself with food?" Shadya deduced. "How does he fuel himself?"

"Remember that knapsack I got as a luxury item?" Ginger grinned proudly. "One of the devices in there gathers solar power throughout the day, and at night, I plug it into him to recharge his battery."

"That seems needlessly complicated," Shadya said.

"Well, remember, his identity was supposed to remain a secret," Ginger grunted.

"So why did you tell me?" Shadya questioned.

"Everyone else already knows. There's no point in hiding it anymore," Ginger grumbled.

"Shady!" Steve Jenkins called as he ran up to the girls. "I'm sorry, but... there's someone else!"

"...Someone else?" Shadya asked. "Someone else doing what?"

"I know, I know, it's not easy to hear," Steve Jenkins told her. "But I thought it was only fair to you that I break the news as soon as possible. I don't want to lead you on any further! You deserve better than that! Not better than me, obviously, because nobody is better than me, but you know what I'm saying."

Shadya gave Ginger a "what is he talking about" kind of look. Ginger just snickered to herself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Shoot, I probably should have mentioned that Nestor and Virgil are people we can trust. Eh, I'll tell her later. She was surprisingly receptive of Mark's status as a robot, though. A lot more than Roxie, at least. Heh heh.

 **Shadya:** I did always sense that something was off about Mark, but I could never place what. I suppose him being Ginger's robot is about as good an explanation as any. If his unshakeable loyalty to Ginger extends to being loyal to me, then it makes no difference to me in the end. I will be winning this game regardless.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Man, do you think I was too hard on her? Oh, what am I saying? I'm Steve Jenkins. Any sort of news that I'm not into you anymore is going to devastate you. I'll give her some space to go through the five stages of grief. Seeing my gorgeous visage would just upset her further.

* * *

Elmer and Rhiannon met up away from camp. Elmer paced back and forth anxiously.

"This is bad," Elmer panicked. "This is so bad. What the _hell_ , Hildegard?!"

"Elmer. Sweetie," Rhiannon said purposefully. "I'm going to need you to pause and take a deep breath. You're starting to make me anxious, too."

Elmer paused and took a deep breath. "Thanks. I needed that. We are seriously up the creek right now, though."

"Yeah, I'm not sure what Hildegard was thinking," Rhiannon agreed. "I'll talk to her later."

"What are we going to do about the vote tonight?" Elmer mentioned. "Even if Hildegard does side with us, the others are probably just going to vote together, and at that point, why would Hildegard bother to side with us if it means a majority instead of a tie?"

"We just need to talk to them," Rhiannon reminded him. "We are _not_ out of this, Elmer. We just need to talk to the others."

"You're right... You're right," Elmer told himself. "Although, I think the rest of our teammates kind of hate me."

"Really? All of them?" Rhiannon asked, mildly surprised.

"Bunko definitely does, and now that I think about it, I'm probably a big part of the reason Hildegard flipped, with how little we actually got along," Elmer said.

"But Dean and Wisdom don't hate you?" Rhiannon pressed.

"I honestly don't know. I've avoided them as much as I could," Elmer admitted. "Man, now that I'm saying all this out loud, I'm starting to realize that I am really bad at this game."

"That's not true at all," Rhiannon told him. "You've only made it this far because you've made the right moves. Try talking to Dean and Wisdom. I'll try talking to Bunko and Hildegard."

"What's our plan?" Elmer asked. "Who are we voting for?"

"We can discuss it with the others," Rhiannon suggested. "Trying to push our own agenda isn't going to do us any good this round, I don't think."

"You're right," Elmer nodded. "Thanks, Rhiannon, for sticking by me."

"Of course," Rhiannon smiled. "That's what friends are for."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Elmer and I have always been able to be candid with each other, and that's opened up a lot of trust between us. I feel safe calling him my ride or die in this game, so of course, I'm going to do what I can to keep him safe, because, to be honest, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he was next on the chopping block.

 **Elmer:** I am just... not optimistic about this next vote at all. I refuse to give up, though. That's not what Louise would want from me. I am playing this for her. If that means talking to Dean and Wisdom to try and form... some kind of truce, then that's what I'm going to do. _(He sighs.)_ Is this how Fred felt after I stabbed him in the back? Christ, what is wrong with me?

* * *

Gretchen pulled Nestor aside for a talk.

"Okay, seriously, what is your deal?" Gretchen huffed. "Are you seriously going to side with the loser side characters?"

"Gretchen, listen, we've had our run, but you're getting stale," Nestor told her point-blank.

" _Excuse_ me?!" Gretchen snapped. "I literally went through some character development yesterday! Is this about Virgil? You know he can't love you back, right?"

"Okay, first of all, this does not have to do with Virgil," Nestor said. "I'm just actually getting sick and tired of your entitled-ass attitude."

"Entitled?! I've had to _work_ for my spot in this game!" Gretchen insisted. " _I'm_ the one who got my alliance to take over the Luscious Lollipops! _I'm_ the one who successfully got Liberty eliminated and Ginger almost eliminated. _I'm_ the one who's had to fight my way through getting several votes against me, and even surviving the arena! If anybody is worthy of being called the protagonist of this season, it is me! What have _you_ done, Nestor? Smugly comment on how everyone is so much dumber than you while just floating between alliances? Give me a break. You are _not_ above me, Nestor, and you never have been. So don't you fucking talk to me about 'entitled', because _you_ are the most entitled person I've ever met!"

"And this is supposed to keep me on your side, how?" Nestor asked. "Gretchen, you wouldn't be having to fight so hard if you just treated your allies with any respect. I'm not even just talking about Virgil. I saw how you treated Dean, and that was enough to get the boy to change to the team with worse living conditions and fewer rewards. I know you're not dumb, boo, but your social skills need serious work. And that..." Nestor pantomimed dropping a mic. "...is the tea."

Gretchen growled as a vein formed on her head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** NrrrrrggggggAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I WILL DESTROY HIM!

 **Nestor:** See, she's not so strong when she's lost pretty much all of her little minions. I mean, I've definitely alienated allies of mine in the past, too, don't get me wrong, but I take those moments as learning experiences. Gretchen just refuses to take any sort of blame. That's where she and I differ.

* * *

Bunko remained at the shelter and drew a caricature of Dean as the boy sat still.

"This is the third caricature of me you've drawn. Am I really that good of a model?" Dean asked.

"Your eyes show such sadness. I've never seen anything like them," Bunko said.

"I'll, uh, take that as a yes," Dean said awkwardly. "So, what do you think about the vote tonight?"

"Oh, that? I say we vote for Elmer," Bunko said.

"I agree, but is Hildegard going to stick with us?" Dean wondered. "We're not exactly the strongest allies she could hope for."

"She voted out Shadya with us. She can do the same to Elmer," Bunko said.

"I guess that's true," Dean nodded unsurely.

"Yes, that's it!" Bunko exclaimed. "That look you just gave. The uncertainty. The fear. That's why I keep drawing you, Dean! You're so expressive!"

"Uh, thanks?" Dean responded. "So, um, is Wisdom still dead to you?"

"I don't really trust her," Bunko responded. "But I know you two are close. Try to keep her from turning on us."

"Well, that's better than dismissing her outright, I guess," Dean figured. "And, uh, yeah, I'll make sure that doesn't happen. The turning on us part, I mean."

"Hey, you were on the Brilliant Beaches during that first round," Bunko mentioned. "Is there anyone there you think we can trust? Anyone we can't?"

"Well, I'm trying to distance myself from Gretchen, but if all else fails, we might be able to fall back on her," Dean thought aloud. "Virgil's probably going to be a no-go. We didn't get along super well. I mean, I was voted out of the Beaches pretty quickly, so it's not like I had any sort of foothold there."

"We _will_ figure this out, Dean!" Bunko declared. "Don't give up until the very end!"

"R-Right!" Dean agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I want to keep Dean close to me because he's the only person in this game I can really 100% trust right now! And I'm going to need to maintain a majority, so Wisdom's someone I'm just going to have to work with! For now.

 **Dean:** I mean, I never really had any issue with anyone who's left on this team. Except maybe Elmer, who's just been kind of standoffish to me, but, given how people at school usually treat me, I'll gladly take standoffish... heh... My point is: we have options, here, and I think we should explore those options.

* * *

Virgil found Mark by his lonesome on the overlook.

"Hey, buddy. How are you holding up?" Virgil asked.

"I'm a lot more upset than I wish I was," Mark admitted. "Mostly about Roxie."

"I feel that," Virgil nodded. "On the plus side, there's talk that we might shuffle again after this round."

"No kidding?" Mark asked. "I guess I can see that, although it feels like we spent more time on the first island."

"We did spend that extra day getting to know each other," Virgil said as he sat by his friend. "And yet, here we are, still making friends even now. What do you think of Top Banana?"

"Is that what you're calling Shadya?" Mark chuckled.

"The name's not finalized," Virgil said.

"I feel like leaving during breakfast probably left a bad first impression," Mark sighed. "I should probably reach out to her later. Does she know about... well, me?"

"I honestly have no idea," Virgil told him. "Is that something you're comfortable with other people knowing, or nah?"

"It's something I just don't want to think about in general," Mark said.

"Hey, you're the one who brought it up, not me," Virgil smirked. "But, nah, I get that. And really, anything that Toxic Waste told you is just her opinion. I don't think any less of you, and I don't think anyone else on the team does, either. If anything, I think Blueberry actually likes you more now."

"Heh. Cool..." Mark forced.

"So, uh, you're good with voting for Gretchen tonight?" Virgil asked. "I think that's what Gingersnap said she wanted to do after Toxic Waste left."

"Yeah, I could vote for Gretchen," Mark agreed. "I don't think she likes me all that much. She thinks I'm trying to take her spot as the protagonist, or something."

"Huh, well that explains a lot about her feelings towards me," Virgil joked. "Anyway, just don't forget to take care of yourself. You do still need to drink water."

"I will. Thanks, man," Mark smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Man, these past few weeks have been... something else, that's for damn sure. The whole... robot thing is mostly settled in my mind. The main thing bugging me right now is the question of, if I do, against all odds, win this game, would people just count that as a win for Ginger? She's probably going to take the cash prize since I don't really need it. It's just another one of those things that makes me feel like less than human.

 **Virgil:** I get that it's a whole lot for him to take in, but he needs to stop isolating himself just to brood. That's what Toxic Waste always did, and look how she turned out. The game is still going, and it's not going to wait for him to be ready for it.

* * *

Wisdom found Hildegard, who was still on the hunt.

"Hildegard?" Wisdom asked. "Do you want some of the berries we gathered? You're getting hungry, aren't you?"

"Patronize me not!" Hildegard declined. "As the hunter and provider for my fair team, I shall not eat until thou art all satisfied with the flesh of a good kill!"

"Does the loss of Shadya count as a good kill?" Wisdom asked. "And would you be willing to help us with future plans?"

"Choose thy words very carefully, young Wisdom," Hildegard warned. "Thy machinations may prove the difference between alliance and rivalry!"

"...What?" Wisdom asked, head cocked to the side.

"Whom dost thou planneth to target?" Hildegard clarified.

"How does Elmer sound?" Wisdom asked. "He isn't close with anyone on this team but Rhiannon, right? He should be an easy vote, don't you think?"

"I am torn," Hildegard admitted. "Though I'd be hard-pressed to call Elmer a friend, he is friends with Lady Rhiannon, with whom I'd like to keep favor. How attached are thee to Bunko?"

"Bunko? The girl who declared I was dead to her for voting for Jeremy?" Wisdom asked with a hollow chuckle. "Would she be so readily missed?"

"I knoweth not, hence why I ask thee," Hildegard said.

"Her only remaining connection is with Dean, right?" Wisdom continued. "Who do you think Dean trusts the most on this team? His day one ally, or Bunko? Why, might Elmer and Rhiannon even be receptive to a Bunko vote?"

"So thou agreeth with a Bunko vote," Hildegard tried to make sure.

Wisdom nodded.

"I shall convene with Lady Shadya's old party," Hildegard told the girl. "I cannot imagine they would have any objections to an easy majority against a long-standing rival. Now, if thou would excuse me, I've yet to find a suitable hunt for our team."

Hildegard looked around for wild game.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Fie, but Wisdom's peculiar way of speech can be difficult to follow. Not that I'm one to accuse, by any means, but at least I am in-character. Unless Wisdom has been some sort of mystic all this time and I was simply unaware, she's no business speaking in riddles so.

 **Wisdom:** Dean says I sound more confident when I slip into my speech habits, right? So why not take advantage of that and play it up a little if it'll help me seem more reliable? ...Is it even making me seem more confident, though? Should I get a second opinion on this?

* * *

Mark approached Shadya while she tended to the shelter.

"Your shelter is horrible," Shadya said bluntly. "No protection from the southerly wind whatsoever."

"Yeah, that's been, uh, it's been an adjustment," Mark half-agreed. "Hey, I'm really sorry for just leaving at breakfast. That had nothing to do with you. I'm just going through some personal stuff and needed to be alone."

"Yes, Ginger filled me in," Shadya nodded. "You will be pleased to know that I intend to resume my prior alliance with Ginger and that any ally of hers has my offer to join as well."

"Well, considering I was literally built to serve Ginger, how could I say no?" Mark chuckled.

"Is that what she told you?" Shadya asked.

"Well, technically not, but I think she did say that, if I win, all the prize money goes to her anyway," Mark admitted. "Uh, I hope that's not going to be a problem."

"Why would it? I'm going to win this game regardless of what deals have already been formed," Shadya responded.

"I guess I can't really argue with that," Mark chuckled. "So, has Ginger spoken with you about votes yet?"

"She has not. All she has told me thus far is that you are someone I can trust," Shadya explained.

"Well, I was talking with Virgil earlier - he's also someone I think we can trust - and he said that Ginger had pitched the idea of a Gretchen vote to him," Mark brought up. "I think Gretchen's only real ally at this point is Steve Jenkins. Maybe Nestor, maybe not. Nestor's tough to gauge."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Shadya nodded. "Either way, if Virgil is someone we can rely on, then we should have the majority."

"Awesome," Mark smiled.

"What surprises me most about what you said is that Steve Jenkins and Gretchen get along," Shadya mentioned. "I would think that two people as self-absorbed as they are would clash horribly."

"They did at first. I have no idea what changed," Mark admitted. "I don't really talk to either of them that much."

"I can't say I blame you," Shadya said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Alright, so I think I'm getting along pretty well with Shadya. She doesn't hate me, so that's good. I was always a little intimidated by her from afar, so having her as an ally is definitely a point in my favor. I can still do this!

 **Shadya:** Mark seems like somebody who knows his place, and people like that are invaluable, both in this game and real life. I expect that having him and Ginger on my side will be a boon moving forward, especially in tandem with the allies I made on the Tundras.

* * *

Bunko remained in the shelter, looking through her sketchbook when Rhiannon approached her.

"Hey, sweetie," Rhiannon smiled. "Draw anything _really_ good recently?"

"I'd say my work has been above-average overall," Bunko answered.

"Have you ever done any... nude artwork?" Rhiannon winked.

"Just once. And he was enjoying it way too much," Bunko huffed.

"I see~" Rhiannon tittered. "So, that was quite the move you made last night."

"Persistence does pay off!" Bunko said proudly. "So, you and Elmer need new allies now, huh?"

"You catch on quick," Rhiannon nodded. "Frankly, I'd be fine voting for any of Dean, Wisdom, or Hildegard. What do you think?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm voting for Elmer tonight, no ifs, ands, or buts!" Bunko declared.

"I guess I can't blame you for that," Rhiannon smiled awkwardly.

"You can feel free to join me if you want," Bunko offered. "Everyone else will be voting for him, too."

"You sound awfully sure of that," Rhiannon purred. "Shadya was awfully sure that Hildegard would vote with her last night."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Bunko objected.

"It means that you should never assume you know how the votes are going to go," Rhiannon warned.

"Ah! And after I offered you a chance to work with me!" Bunko scolded.

"I'm just saying, sweet pea, you can't just assume everyone will vote how you want," Rhiannon said as she shook her head. "Wisdom didn't during the Jeremy vote."

"Stop trying to fill my head with confusion, you, you... witch!" Bunko cried. She crossed her index fingers in a plus shape. " _Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!_ " Bunko looked around the area. "Darn, I don't have a door to slam. So, uh, just pretend I did!"

"Got it," Rhiannon chuckled as she held her hands up and walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Bunko really is a girl in a game of women. She's trying her best, but I feel like she's relied mostly on luck throughout this game, and I don't know how much longer that luck is going to last her if she keeps up the pace she's going at.

 **Bunko:** Gosh and dang, Rhiannon is right! I can't rely on Hildegard or Wisdom for sure. I need to make absolute triple sure they vote for Elmer! The forces of good can still come out on top!

* * *

Gretchen and Steve Jenkins approached Ginger as the girl looked over one of her devices.

"Ginger, do you have a moment?" Gretchen began.

"Hold on, this is interesting," Ginger said as she held up an index finger, her eyes not leaving the screen. "It looks like instances of Roxie appearing in Mark's processes - his thoughts if you will - only increased since her elimination. And it hasn't even been that long."

"How often is he thinking about Steve Jenkins?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"I think you may have shown up the least frequently of everyone currently on this team, not counting Shadya," Ginger said.

"Man, your robot's broken," Steve Jenkins snorted.

"I dare you to do better," Ginger challenged.

"That's not the point!" Gretchen interrupted. "Ginger. We wanted to see if you were good to vote for Nestor tonight. He's spent the entire time since the shuffle just floating between alliances. He's dangerous and untrustworthy."

"All of those are definitely true statements," Ginger acknowledged. "And I won't pretend like it's something I haven't considered."

"All we need is your vote and Mark's," Gretchen continued. "If you want to lump Shadya in with us, then cool, more power to us."

"Uh, I don't know about Shady," Steve Jenkins interrupted. "She's still pretty broken up about me turning her down this morning."

"Yep, she's still in tears as we speak," Ginger droned.

"Look, are you in or not?!" Gretchen snapped.

" _Maybe_ ," Ginger responded. "In case you haven't noticed, I still have a lot of update information to pore over. Give me some time to think about it."

"Don't forget to, like, make him love me more or something," Steve Jenkins said.

"Will do," Ginger said flatly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** My main issue with a Nestor vote is that Nestor is good with Virgil, and Virgil is good with Mark. I need to encourage bonds between Mark and other people as much as possible, so alienating Virgil like that won't do me any good. Gretchen isn't wrong about Nestor being a snake, but we need to look at the bigger picture here.

 **Gretchen:** Ugh, Ginger and her stupid robot. I may just have to talk to Shadya herself about this. If I can get Shadya on board, then Ginger and Mark will _have_ to follow through with this plan! It's an uphill battle, but that's the struggle of being the protagonist!

 **Steve Jenkins:** It's sad, really. Robots just don't understand the complex human emotionality that leads to an undying adoration towards Steve Jenkins. Ginger really should work on that some more. It's important that Mark comes to admire me so he doesn't feel isolated by everyone else who _does_ love me unconditionally. Everyone is accepted in the eyes of Steve Jenkins!

* * *

Elmer managed to catch up to Wisdom as the girl made her way back to camp.

"Hey, can we talk?" Elmer asked.

"You want to talk to me?" Wisdom asked. "Are you so desperate that you would reach out to the one you hate the most on this team?"

"That's actually the thing," Elmer sighed. "Look, I'm really sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable or upset by being so rude to you. I let my anger get the best of me. All you were doing was playing the game, no different from any of the rest of us, and I took it personally before I even met you or Dean. That's not fair to either of you. I don't want to be upset with you. If you don't want to work with me, I absolutely understand. If you want to vote for me, I absolutely understand. Just... I want to bury the hatchet."

"You're not lying, are you?" Wisdom realized. "You really mean it, don't you?"

"I've been thinking about it a lot recently," Elmer admitted. "Louise wouldn't have wanted me to hold a grudge, and frankly, I don't want to either."

"...Has Hildegard spoken with you about plans to vote tonight?" Wisdom asked.

"No, she conveniently hasn't spoken to me at all today," Elmer said. "No doubt ashamed about her backstabbing the alliance last night."

"What would you say about a Bunko vote tonight?" Wisdom offered.

"For real?" Elmer asked. "Yeah, that actually works out perfectly. That's what Hildegard offered?"

Wisdom nodded. "Is Bunko someone we will be able to rely on? Someone we can easily work with? Is she worth keeping around?"

"All excellent points," Elmer agreed. "As someone who's wanted to get Bunko out since the start of the game, I am more than on board with all this."

Wisdom smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Obviously, I'd be stupid to trust Wisdom right out of the gate, but Bunko might actually be one of the easiest people to set up a voting block against. This could be a huge move if it all works out. Whether or not it will is to be determined...

 **Wisdom:** Do I believe what Elmer is saying? He sounded awfully genuine, didn't he? But he could be faking, couldn't he? Would it be so out-of-character for him to simply be scrambling now that he's in the minority? But then, can we trust Hildegard to vote for anyone else but Bunko at this point? She declined my offer to vote for Elmer, right? _(She looks to the side, pondering.)_

* * *

Nestor and Virgil met up away from camp.

"Hoo boy, our girl Gretchen sure wasn't happy that I didn't vote with her last night," Nestor commented.

"I don't think I've ever seen her genuinely happy," Virgil responded. "Smugly satisfied, sure, but she's just such a negative person. Honestly, thank God we don't have to work with her anymore."

"Can I get an amen?" Nestor agreed. "Ginger said she wanted to vote out Gretchen once Roxie was gone, right? Are we still good for that?"

"I know Mystery Pop is, so I can't imagine Gingersnap is going to be far behind," Virgil said.

"Ooooh, this is so exciting!" Nestor squealed. "Boy, let me tell you, I have known that girl was going to be trouble from day. One. Day one! And she's about to be gone. No more protagonist talk. No more getting talked down to. I know you're going to appreciate her not giving you any more shit like you don't know about LGBT shit. You're actually pretty in-the-know for a straight guy."

"...Yeah," Virgil sighed.

"Virgil? Did I say something wrong?" Nestor frowned.

"Blueberry, I..." Virgil swallowed. "I'm actually not... straight?"

"Oh... OH!" Nestor responded. "Well, you sure fooled me! Damn."

"Yep. I'm bisexual," Virgil confirmed. "I'm not, like, closeted, but I don't tend to bring it up. Most gay people I tell say that I don't count because I've never actually been with a boy, most straight guys just don't talk about guys in general, and most straight girls just act like I'm straight anyway, because to them I might as well be. My folks think I'm just going through a phase... It's like nobody really cares or believes me. So yeah, Gretchen talking down to me about that kind of stuff in particular really hit a nerve."

"Shit, I am so sorry," Nestor apologized.

"Naw, you didn't know, it's alright," Virgil said with a slight smile. "The point is: voting out Gretchen is absolutely going to be satisfying."

"Hell yeah, it is!" Nestor agreed. "We should double-check with Ginger, and maybe talk to Shadya, too."

"How close were you and Top Banana on The Best Team?" Virgil wondered.

"...Okay, it might be for the best that you talk to them both," Nestor admitted.

"I gotcha," Virgil smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Damn, I don't usually give people the entire spiel. For all I knew, Blueberry _could_ have told me that I didn't count because I've never been with a boy. Damn, do I really trust him that much? I've only known him for a couple of days. For fuck's sake...

 **Nestor:** Wow, people don't usually tell me secrets like that. One girl straight-up told me that she won't tell me any secrets _because_ I run a blog like I give a damn about Ashley hooking up with Leslie's boyfriend. That isn't Total Drama, honey! What I'm saying is that it means a lot that Virgil trusts me enough to tell me about that. If that doesn't make it into the episode, then I won't even post about it when I get home. Scout's honor!

* * *

Dean found Hildegard, still hunting for game.

"Uh, Hildegard?" Dean began.

"What is it, little Dean?" Hildegard asked.

"Well, uh, first of all, 'Little Dean' isn't really my favorite nickname," Dean admitted. "And, uh, secondly, it's about lunchtime. I think Elmer found a bunch of berries and a couple of plums."

"Blessed fig's end!" Hildegard responded indignantly. "I've yet to find a proper meal for my good Knights!"

"We're the Tough Tundras, though," Dean pointed out. "Unless you mean you're only getting food for yourself and Rhiannon."

"Be not a wise-ass, little Dean," Hildegard warned.

"So you're sticking with 'Little Dean', huh?" Dean sighed. "Well, uh, anyway, we really think you should come back and eat _something_. You missed breakfast, and we're not getting a lot to eat as it is, what with the whole 'survival' aspect of the game and all."

"A small price to pay for failing to find a good source of meat!" Hildegard insisted. "I do not even hunger so much."

Hildegard's stomach growled cacophonously. Dean looked at Hildegard with concern.

"This will only make dining on my hunt all the more satisfying!" Hildegard maintained.

"Well, we'll save some food for you back at camp if you change your mind," Dean told her.

"I will not," Hildegard said. "Oh, and what is thy opinion on tonight's vote?"

"Tonight's vote?" Dean asked. "Well, I'd have to talk it over with Wisdom first, but-"

"But nothing! Think for thyself, little Dean!" Hildegard coaxed.

"Frankly, I'm just about equally as fine with voting for Elmer, Rhiannon, or even Bunko," Dean admitted. "I know that sounds like a cop-out, but it's the truth."

Hildegard nodded. "Now leave me be."

Dean left her be.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Oh my god, did I just assume that Hildegard completely cut ties with Elmer and Rhiannon? I mean, when people do something to betray me, that usually means that they've completely cut ties with me, but this could be different! And, to be entirely honest, I am leaning a bit more towards voting for Elmer, like Bunko suggested. Oh, that conversation could not have gone worse.

 **Hildegard:** Elmer and Lady Rhiannon have yet to speak with me extensively since last night. I suppose I cannot blame them for being upset, but I do grow increasingly nervous that I may have destroyed their trust in one fell swoop. Thus, I shall keep mine options open with the rest of the team!

* * *

Virgil met up with Ginger and Shadya in the jungle.

"Alright, worlds are colliding, this is great!" Ginger grinned.

"Anyway, I'm Virgil," Virgil told Shadya.

"Shadya," Shadya introduced back. "Ginger tells me we can trust you."

"Aw, man, I think we're moving a bit fast here. I didn't know you thought that much of me, Gingersnap," Virgil quipped.

"Shut up, Virgil," Ginger grunted. "We wanted to touch base with you and make sure you and Nestor are still good to vote for Gretchen tonight."

"You'd better believe it," Virgil confirmed. "I've wanted her gone pretty much as soon as I met her. Blueberry's finally a firm believer of the cause, too."

"Who is 'Blueberry'?" Shadya asked.

"It's Nestor. That's something about Virgil you're just going to have to get used to," Ginger explained.

"I see. Establishing a sense of camaraderie with everyone by assigning nicknames, granting the illusion of closeness and therefore trust," Shadya nodded. "In that case... uh... you may continue to do that, and I will rely on my already-existing fount of charisma to establish camaraderie."

"Couldn't think of anything cool to call me?" Virgil smirked as he opened a bag of gummy bears.

"I do not often indulge in such childish practices as nicknaming," Shadya leered.

"I mean, that's my shtick anyway. It wouldn't look good even if you had come up with something cool," Virgil shrugged with a mouthful of gummy bear.

" _Anyway_ ," Ginger piped up. "We're all good to vote for Gretchen. That's excellent."

"I look forward to another successful vote," Shadya said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Ugh, leave it to Virgil to play up the "too cool for school" thing around Shadya, who, real talk, has no sense of humor. If this leads to another damn betrayal I am actually going to lose my shit.

 **Shadya:** Virgil is awfully confident in himself. It is almost as if he is unaware that we have only begun working together and that I hold no concrete loyalty to him. He would do well to keep that in mind going into the merge. I have a _lot_ of allies.

 **Virgil:** Ah, I'm just messing with her a little. I don't actually have anything against Top Banana, but I can't help but toy with people like her at least a little. ...Wait a minute, isn't that exactly how Blueberry got Toxic Waste to turn on him? And Top Banana actually has clout, too. Alright, maybe I'll take it a little easier with her.

* * *

Wisdom found Bunko sitting in their team's shelter.

"Oh! Wisdom!" Bunko addressed.

"Yes?" Wisdom asked.

"I need you! I cannot go on without you!" Bunko cried.

"...Bunko?! This is so sudden, isn't it?" Wisdom blushed.

"Not like that, you goober!" Bunko clarified. "I need your vote!"

"...Do you still think I'm pretty?" Wisdom asked.

"You're fairly cute," Bunko answered.

Wisdom smiled, flattered.

"Anyway, we need to vote for Elmer!" Bunko declared. "He's had it out for all of us since we set foot on this island, and I won't stand for it!"

"Do you think Hildegard will vote for him?" Wisdom asked.

"Probably," Bunko figured. "She backstabbed Shadya, so I don't see why she wouldn't help us vote out Elmer now that we have a majority."

"That would make sense, wouldn't it?" Wisdom nodded.

"That's going to make us so strong in the merge!" Bunko cheered.

"The merge?" Wisdom asked.

"Well yeah," Bunko smiled. "Us, plus Dean, plus Hildegard, plus Mark on the other team, plus any of Mark's allies. We'll be an unstoppable group!"

"You're allied with Mark?" Wisdom asked. "That could make a difference, huh?"

"Yeah, and it seems like he's doing pretty well on the Beaches," Bunko added. "At least three allies, if last night's vote means anything. That could mean an alliance of eight! Isn't that great?!"

"Is it...?" Wisdom muttered unsurely.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** Man, I never thought I'd be some kind of godfather... mother... in this game! This is so cool! I'm going to take over the game and it's going to be _great_!

 **Wisdom:** Is Bunko onto something? Will sticking with her mean more allies in the merge? She's nothing if not honest, right? But is she dependable?

* * *

Gretchen found Mark sitting at the overlook.

"Hey, you," Gretchen prompted.

"Hm?" Mark turned his head to see her there. "Oh, Gretchen. What brings you here?"

"Look, I know we've had our differences in the past-" Gretchen began.

"I thought the whole reason you didn't like me is that you felt we were too similar," Mark interrupted.

"Shut up," Gretchen said flatly. "Look, how much do you trust Nestor? Like, _really_ trust him?"

"I trust Virgil, and he-"

"Not Virgil. Nestor," Gretchen repeated. "If you and Nestor were in the final three, and he won the challenge, would you be absolutely comfortable knowing that he would vote for the other person?"

"Is that how it works?" Mark asked. He thought about it for a bit. "That's right, there are just no more teams after a while, huh? And then people win Invincibility for themselves?" He thought about it a bit more. "And the person who can't be voted out... yeah, I guess he would have the final say on who stays and who goes in the final three."

"Yes, congratulations," Gretchen commented.

"Well, in that case, I suppose it would depend on who else is in the final three," Mark answered. "If it was Virgil, probably not, but if it was you? I absolutely trust he'd take me over you."

"Why?" Gretchen asked. "Like, seriously think about it."

"Because we're both friends with Virgil," Mark figured. "And Virgil doesn't like you very much."

"Forget about Virgil!" Gretchen insisted.

"Why? It's an important factor in my answer," Mark stated.

"Nestor has spent the entire game going from alliance to alliance as he sees fit," Gretchen reiterated. "Our first round here, he voted for Dean, my ally. The second round? Steve Jenkins, whom I was also targeting. Then he voted for Liberty, but, like, so did everyone."

"I didn't vote for Li-"

"But then he voted for Ginger!" Gretchen concluded. "And now you trust him? Hell, _Ginger_ trusts him? What the hell am I missing here? This guy's a snake! You can't trust him!"

"It's not like I haven't noticed that," Mark frowned. "I voted for Nestor when everyone else was voting for Liberty. The reason Nestor flipped is that he couldn't trust Roxie. But now Roxie's gone. So that eliminates the reason why Nestor might not vote with me."

"Have you even spoken to him one-on-one? A single time?" Gretchen challenged.

Mark sighed. "Look, Gretchen, I get it. Getting voted out is scary. But you've won a duel before. You can win again."

Gretchen's mouth fell open, aghast.

"I'm sorry, but that's the game," Mark said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** No. No, no, no! I can do this. I _will_ get through this. He's, he's right. Even if these imbeciles do vote me out, I can still win the duel... Yeah. Heheh... _(She starts laughing.)_

 **Mark:** Gretchen's really, really starting to annoy me. I guess the fact that I _can_ be annoyed is nice but is it really? I might have to talk to Ginger about this. I'm curious to hear her point of view here.

* * *

Elmer brought Dean aside away from camp.

"Aw geez, did I pee on you in my sleep again?" Dean fretted.

"What? No. Wait, you've peed on me in my sleep?!" Elmer flinched.

"That's what Hildegard told me. I didn't mean to, I swear!" Dean panicked. "I just tend to sleepwalk sometimes, and..."

"I thought I was just sweaty... Oh, god!" Elmer gagged. "Anyway, that's - eugh - that's not the point!"

"It's not?" Dean asked.

"You're the one who brought it up!" Elmer pointed out. "A-Anyway, have you discussed the vote with Wisdom yet?"

"Not you. I, uh, not yet," Dean stammered.

Elmer sighed. "Look, I know our relationship has been... strained, to say the least, and I want to apologize."

"...What?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"I discounted you before I even met you, just because you voted out Louise," Elmer continued. "That's just the game, and I took it personally. I'm sorry."

"Okayyyyyyy?" Dean responded. "What was that about the vote?"

"Well, I spoke with Wisdom, and we agreed that Bunko would be a good vote," Elmer explained.

"Interesting," Dean nodded. "Yeah, she mentioned that idea to me earlier."

"You just said that you hadn't spoken with her about it," Elmer pointed out, annoyed.

"I, uh, well, I, uh, I just remembered that we did!" Dean stuttered. "I had forgotten until you'd mentioned it!"

Elmer sighed. "Alright. If you're just going to lie to my face, then this conversation doesn't need to continue."

Elmer walked away.

"Oh god oh god oh god oh god..." Dean panicked as he held his head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Okay, but why would Elmer apologize to me? What reason does he have to apologize to me? Obviously, he's bullshitting me. He knows that Bunko's gunning for him, and he's just trying to mess everything up.

 **Elmer:** Well, I tried talking to him. I apologized to him. You can't say I never gave him a chance. If he doesn't want to work with me, that's his prerogative. _(He shudders.)_ I am never sleeping next to him ever again.

* * *

Nestor and Steve Jenkins sat in their team's shelter.

"You know, it's almost like a family reunion," Steve Jenkins said. "Now that Shady's back, it's like most of the old Team Steve Jenkins is here with the new Team Steve Jenkins."

"You are still calling our teams that?" Nestor asked in disbelief.

"I mean, that's what they are," Steve Jenkins said. "Any team with me on it inherently has me as its best member. Why _not_ cut the BS and just call the teams that?"

"I cannot describe with words how glad I am that you weren't the first person to find The Best Team's campsite," Nestor commented.

"Tch. That's just because everyone else was such a lamer who was intimidated by my charm and finesse," Steve Jenkins insisted. "If all the ladies weren't so shy around me, they could have helped me find it first."

"You couldn't have done it on your own, huh?" Nestor teased.

"Maybe if I had Gretchen's protagonist powers on my side," Steve Jenkins shrugged.

"You two..." Nestor shook his head. "You know she's basically a quintessential Total Drama antagonist, right?"

"Nuh-uh!" Steve Jenkins reacted.

"She's got Heather's poor treatment of allies, the ego of Justin, the lack of self-awareness of Courtney, the bizarre luck of Scott..." Nestor listed. "Now that I'm laying it all out there, she's like Jo if Jo wasn't funny."

"Man, they only counted as antagonists because... I don't know, the editors decided it, or something!" Steve Jenkins denied. "Besides, she's allied with me, the protagonist of _existence_."

"If you say so, boo," Nestor sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Meanwhile, Steve Jenkins is like if Ezekiel and Topher took delusional pills and got fused together. It has been a long couple of weeks, boys and girls.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Man, Nestor doesn't know what he's talking about. He's just jealous that I've ditched him and found a cooler ally. That's what happens when you're a backstabbing snake, lamer!

* * *

The sun was starting to set, and Rhiannon walked up to Hildegard, who was still searching for an animal to hunt.

"Hildegard. Can we talk?" Rhiannon asked.

"Lady Rhiannon..." Hildegard sighed.

"Look, I'm not mad," Rhiannon assured her. "Just... yeah, it's such a cliche to say I'm not mad, just disappointed, but that is actually how I feel right now. Can I at least ask why you voted for Shadya?"

"I..." Hildegard thought about her response. "I was simply tired of having mine ideas not considered. It was always Elmer or Lady Shadya who had their way, and that was that! So, in a moment of weakness, I took advantage of Bunko's constant push to vote for Lady Shadya."

"Aw, sweetie," Rhiannon empathized. "It's not that nobody was considering your ideas, it's just..."

"Nobody cared about them?" Hildegard guessed.

"Elmer and Shadya are better at selling their ideas, I think," Rhiannon explained.

"I would have to disagree on Elmer's part," Hildegard said as she shook her head. "And frankly, I can fathom not why thou defendeth him so. Especially over me, your ally from much longer ago!"

"Well, I don't get why you don't like him," Rhiannon responded. "Maybe it's just some subjective kind of taste. I don't know. But I also like you, Hildegard. As an ally, I mean. And I want to keep working with you."

"...I have spoken with Wisdom and Dean," Hildegard told her. "They wish to turn on Bunko tonight."

"Is that so?" Rhiannon smiled. "We should check in with Elmer. He told me he was going to talk to them too. We'll see if he's heard the same from them."

Hildegard's stomach roared.

"Oh my god, have you not eaten today?" Rhiannon gasped. "First, let's get you something to eat."

"Nay... I have not... caught..." Hildegard grunted. "Alright, I concede. Let us dine."

Rhiannon giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I am grateful that Lady Rhiannon resents me not for my mistake. I am still rather wary of Elmer, but so long as she trusts him, I shall do the same. For now.

 **Rhiannon:** I totally get what it's like for people to not listen to your input, believe me. I do think Hildegard and Elmer should talk things over. Normally I'd suggest they have make-up sex, too, but I don't think either of them would really go for it.

* * *

Twilight shone above the cape of the duel arena as the teams made their way to their respective sets of bleachers. Chris stood on the duel arena proper.

"Are you guys ready for the most cardiac-arrest-inducing duel yet?!" Chris asked.

"Woo!" came the sole reply, from Nestor.

"It's nice to know that _someone_ appreciates all the hard work I put in for this show," Chris remarked. "Now, let's see who's going to be on the business end of all that hard work. Cast your votes!"

The votes were cast, one after the other. It didn't take long for all of them to be locked in.

"Alrighty, let's see who tonight's losers are," Chris grinned.

...

...

...

The first votes revealed were for Gretchen and Elmer.

"Tch. Cowards!" Gretchen called.

Elmer simply interlocked his fingers and tapped his chin with his index fingers.

...

...

...

Nestor and Bunko.

"What are you going to do?" Nestor asked self-assuredly with a dramatic shrug.

"Hmph. Nice try," Bunko told Elmer.

...

...

...

Gretchen and Bunko.

...

...

...

Nestor and Dean.

"O-Oh!" Dean gulped.

...

...

...

Gretchen and Dean.

"Don't tell me I'm going to have to duel that loser," Gretchen griped.

"When did this happen?!" Wisdom panicked.

...

...

...

Gretchen and Dean.

"And that's enough votes for both Gretchen and Dean to be tonight's duelists!" Chris announced.

The giant screen revealed the vote count: Five votes for Gretchen, two votes for Nestor, three votes for Dean, two votes for Bunko, and one vote for Elmer.

"What the heckdoodle?!" Bunko sputtered.

"Idiots. All of you," Gretchen told her teammates.

"Except me!" Steve Jenkins chimed in.

"Can it!" Gretchen snapped.

"Wow, I, uh, I probably should have seen this coming, and somehow I didn't," Dean admitted.

The bridges between the bleachers and the arena rose up. Gretchen and Dean both made their way to the duel platform.

"Looks like you two just couldn't resist getting back into the fray," Chris commented. "You guys are both the only people to have dueled twice. How does it feel knowing that your second time might not be as lucky?"

"Terrible," both Gretchen and Dean said in unison.

"Great! Here's how this one is going to work," Chris began. "Don't hurt yourselves."

"What does that mea-"

Dean was interrupted by the instantaneous lowering of the duel platform down to water level. Both he and Gretchen fell on their behinds, while Chris stood firmly on his feet.

"Commit fuck yourself," Gretchen grumbled.

"This one's going to be _really_ simple," Chris smiled.

A boat drove up a fair distance away from the island itself. An intern on the boat lit two tiki torches: one bright yellow, one dark blue.

"Your challenge tonight is to light this torch," Chris said as he placed a tiki torch in the center of the duel platform.

"How are we supposed to get fire from all the way over there to all the way back here?" Dean fretted.

"Carefully," Chris grinned. "The duelist who successfully lights this torch will have earned their spot back in the game. Understood?"

Both duelists looked nervous.

"I didn't hear a no. This duel has officially... begun!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Aw man, is this because I told Elmer I peed on him?! I sleepwalk sometimes, okay? It's, well, I guess it isn't normal, but... I need to win this!

 **Gretchen:** Of all the people to go against, it had to be Dean! He and Wisdom were supposed to be my backup allies, damn it! Ugh, fine. I can get by without him. I just need to... swim... first.

* * *

Gretchen immediately ran and jumped into the water on Chris's go, with Dean following a second later. They both began their arduous swim to the boat.

"Man, what the hell was that?" Steve Jenkins asked the rest of his teammates.

"What, voting for the most annoying member of our team?" Virgil responded.

"No, you guys _not_ voting for the most annoying member of our team!" Steve Jenkins shouted.

"Steve Jenkins is right," Ginger said. "Gretchen's only the _second_ most annoying person on our team."

Gretchen had already slowed down her pace as she swam towards the boat. Dean continued at his same below-average speed, which still managed to catch him up with Gretchen.

"No..." Gretchen grunted as she forced herself to pick the pace back up.

"Wisdom! What did you do?!" Bunko scolded from back at the bleachers. "I thought I could trust you! Dean thought he could trust you! And you voted for one of us!"

Wisdom began to weep silently.

"Bunko, stop," Rhiannon stepped up. "It's just a game. She didn't mean anything personal by it. Dean did it too."

"Yeah, but Dean's busy swimming. I'll be mad at him later," Bunko responded.

Dean had forced himself to grab onto a nearby buoy to catch his breath.

"You... can... do... this..." Dean told himself.

He glanced at Gretchen, who was still slightly ahead of him and grabbing onto another buoy to catch her breath. He resumed swimming.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I hate swimming, but I hate losing even more. And losing to Dean? Why even continue living if I lose to _Dean_ of all people? I will not _allow_ myself to lose, do you hear me? I am the protagonist. I. Can't. Lose!

* * *

Gretchen took notice of Dean continuing to swim.

"If he... doesn't have his breath caught... and he drowns... that's on him," she panted.

Gretchen took a couple more seconds to catch her own breath before continuing her swim.

"Hey, can you swim?" Nestor asked Mark from back at the bleachers.

"I... don't think so," Mark answered.

"That sounds like it should be a priority if you're going to be in this game," Shadya commented.

"It's not a knowledge thing, it's a capability thing," Ginger chimed in. "He's simply too heavy. A metal skeleton will do that to you."

Dean forced himself to hold onto another buoy to catch his breath, while Gretchen swam close to the boat.

"Oh come on," Dean whined.

Elmer took notice of Wisdom side-eyeing him.

"Look, I meant it when I said I was going to vote with you," Elmer said. "But the plan changed, and I didn't want to risk you selling the plan out to Dean."

"But why did the plan change?" Wisdom sniffled. "Why make things more difficult than they needed to be?"

"Dean kept feeding me a bunch of lies. I couldn't trust him," Elmer said.

"Besides, he had connections to both you and Bunko," Hildegard added. "Whereas you and Bunko had no such connection with one another."

"Uh, yeah, that too," Elmer admitted.

Gretchen made it to the boat with the two torches. She grabbed the dark blue torch and tossed it into the water, then she grabbed the light yellow torch, held it above her head, and jumped back into the water. The burning end of the torch poked out of the water and continued to burn as Gretchen began her swim back.

Dean saw all of this transpire and simply sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dean:** Chris only said that whoever lit the torch at the duel platform won the duel. So Gretchen throwing the torch that was meant for me into the water actually helps me, because now I don't have to swim to the boat to get my own fire. I'm just going to have to p-pry her torch from her. _(He gulps.)_

* * *

Dean began his swim back to the duel platform. Gretchen did not miss this, and she winced but did not stop her own swim back to the platform.

"Ooh, I hope they wrestle," Chris commented giddily.

"What do you think would happen if Gretchen's torch gets extinguished?" Virgil asked Shadya.

"Perhaps Chris had a lighter on his person all along, and they never thought to ask him for it," Shadya guessed. "That's what I would do."

"What, you think you can host this show?" Steve Jenkins scoffed. "You're only, like, the third-hottest contestant in this game. I'd be a much better pick."

"Coming from the eighteenth-hottest contestant in the game, that doesn't mean much," Shadya responded.

"Wait, do you actually have a list?!" Steve Jenkins accused.

"There isn't a whole lot to do to kill time," Shadya shrugged.

Virgil just snickered.

Dean made it back to the duel platform. He stood and watched Gretchen swim up to the platform herself.

"Fuck... off... Dean..." Gretchen grunted as she made her way closer to the platform.

"Ohhhhh, I want to cheer for him so badly, but I don't want to get in trouble," Bunko groaned.

"You can cheer for him quietly," Rhiannon reminded her.

"Yeah, but that's not really cheering," Bunko pouted.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways," Hildegard suggested. "I offer up prayers for Him to be with me every time I attend an elimination ceremony. He has not done me wrong so far. Perhaps you could pray for Dean."

"Yeah, but let's be real, God abandoned Dean a long time ago," Bunko said.

Rhiannon giggled.

Before Gretchen could even grab onto the duel platform, Dean grabbed onto the shaft of the torch.

"No! Hands off!" Gretchen shouted.

Dean pulled as hard as he could as Gretchen got a hand on the edge of the platform. This led to Dean inadvertently pulling Gretchen up onto the platform.

"I won't lose!" Dean cried.

"Yes, you will!" Gretchen roared. "You will lose because you are a loser! It's what you do!"

"N-Not always!" Dean insisted as he pulled harder on the torch. "I beat Kun. A-And I managed to go four whole rounds without anyone voting for me. And... And..."

"And what?" Gretchen spat.

"And I have friends supporting me!" Dean shouted.

Dean yanked the torch from Gretchen's grip. Bunko and Wisdom smiled from the bleachers.

"NO!" Gretchen threatened as she immediately tackled Dean, causing him to drop the torch, which nearly rolled off the platform.

Gretchen picked the torch up and ran for the unlit torch, but before she could light it, Dean grabbed back onto it.

"Give up, you leech!" Gretchen screeched.

"No! You give up!" Dean shouted back.

Gretchen turned around quickly to face Dean, and the two began pulling as hard as they could on the torch. A faint amount of smoke emanated from Gretchen.

Dean's eyes went wide. "G-Gretchen! Your hair's on fire!"

"Nice try," Gretchen spat smugly. "How stupid do you think I-"

Gretchen's eyes sank as she began to feel exactly what Dean was talking about. Gretchen's hair had been exposed to the torch's flame and began to burn up.

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGH!" Gretchen howled as she pulled even harder on the torch, causing it to fly out of the grips of both duelists.

The torch flew directly into the water. Gretchen immediately ran after it and into the water.

Dean glanced at the duel torch, which had been lit.

"W-Wait. When did the torch get lit?!" Dean panicked.

"Oh, did you not notice?" Chris said. "I saw the whole thing."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Gretchen's hair brushed up against the torch, which technically counts as her lighting it," Chris chuckled. "Sorry, Dean, but you're gone-zo."

Dean fell to his knees. "...I see," he sighed.

Gretchen weakly climbed back onto the duel platform, blubbering. The flame had claimed all of her hair, and her scalp showed signs of burns.

"Gretchen, calm down. You won!" Chris told her. "Well, you won the duel anyway. You lost something else, though."

Gretchen felt her scalp frantically, and let out an inconsolable screech, which devolved into a wail, and eventually a choke. Birds could be seen hastily flying away in the distance.

"What a drama queen," Chris sighed as the duel platform raised back to its regular height. The bridges between the bleachers and the arena raised themselves as well.

Bunko, Wisdom, and Steve Jenkins made their way down to the duel platform.

"I'm sorry, guys," Dean told Bunko and Wisdom.

"Dean, don't apologize," Wisdom told him. "You did everything you could and then some."

"Yeah, we can still beat Gretchen without you!" Bunko chirped.

"Heh, well, that's good to know," Dean chuckled awkwardly.

Wisdom gave Dean a tight hug, which he reciprocated.

"Do you remember what I said on the night of the Louise vote?" Dean asked Wisdom.

"Huh?" Wisdom asked.

"I told you that me losing was inevitable and that I would be rooting for you to win whenever it happened," Dean told her. "That rings true now more than ever."

Wisdom held Dean even tighter.

"Okay, can't breathe, can't breathe," Dean wheezed.

Wisdom let Dean go and looked away, flushed.

Dean turned to Bunko. "You can trust Wisdom. I promise."

"If you say so," Bunko said.

"Alright, I'd say that's about long enough," Chris interrupted.

The bridge between the arena and the Dock of Shame had raised itself.

"Honestly, I can't complain," Dean smiled. "About anything, really." He made his way to the Dock of Shame. "Bye, guys!"

"Byyyyyyyyyye!" Bunko called back as she and Wisdom waved good-bye.

Dean set foot on the Boat of Losers, and it drove away.

"Last but not least, Gretchen, are you staying with the Brilliant Beaches, or hopping on over to the Tough Tundras?"

"Steve Jenkins..." Gretchen sniffled, not even looking him in the eyes.

"What's up?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"...Will you hold me and tell me I'm pretty tonight?" Gretchen asked softly.

"Of course," Steve Jenkins smiled.

"So... Brilliant Beaches, then. Alrighty," Chris nodded. "Okie dokie. That's tonight's duel. I'll see you guys bright and early tomorrow morning."

Bunko and Wisdom glanced at each other uncertainly before everyone made their way back to their respective camps.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Yeah, Gretchen's not really in the mood to shoot any confessionals right now, so she sent me. Because, like, who better to get more screen time, right? Anyway, she is glad she won the duel, but the whole "bald" thing makes her feel like she isn't passing, or something. Which, I don't get it. Heather pulled it off in season two. Gretchen would know better than I would, I guess.

 **Wisdom:** Did Chris say 'tomorrow morning'? Does that mean what I think it means? Are things about to get even more complicated and difficult? And without Dean, no less? ...No, he's counting on me. And I won't let him down.

* * *

Chris remained on the arena platform.

"Tonight was yet another dramatic elimination. Can you believe this game is only half over?" Chris grinned. "If the contestants thought Kairi Island was tough, then they're going to absolutely _hate_ Apoy Island. And I'm going to be here to facilitate all of it. Look forward to it, dear viewers, on the next Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Brilliant Beaches:**

Gretchen - Ginger, Mark, Nestor, Shadya, Virgil

Nestor - Gretchen, Steve Jenkins

 **Tough Tundras:**

Dean - Elmer, Hildegard, Rhiannon

Bunko - Dean, Wisdom

Elmer - Bunko

* * *

 **Merged?**

Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist

Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

Hildegard - The Paladin

Mark - The Amnesiac

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: I have done a metric buttload of changing placements, as per usual, but Dean is one of the only characters whose placement never changed throughout the entire story. Always meant to be the pre-merge winner distraction, and quite a few people did tell me that they saw Dean winning. While it would be pretty satisfying for the eternal loser to be the winner of the game, sadly, life just doesn't usually work out like that._

 _I did enjoy writing Dean for sure, though. I've always had a soft spot for characters who always end up as the butt of the joke, or just kind of picked on for no real reason. The Zoidbergs of the world, if you will. I've had a character similar to Dean in my rotation of "characters I came up with in eighth grade that I might use in a real fic someday", and it was nice to finally put him to some use. What did you guys think of Dean?_


	15. I'm Not About To Turn Down Free Food

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the dueling platform. "In our last episode, Shadya made a good first impression on the Brilliant Beaches by cooking them a nice breakfast. Hildegard attempted something similar, and only really left herself hungry. Hehaha.

"Shadya integrated herself with Ginger's alliance pretty quickly, and Nestor even solidified himself on Virgil's side over Gretchen's, which the so-called protagonist didn't like very much. Mark took some time to himself to reflect on the whole robot thing, and Steve Jenkins... well, he's still Steve Jenkins. Bunko, now confident that she had the votes on her side, pushed to get rid of Elmer, while Elmer apologized to Dean and Wisdom and extended an offer to work with them. Rhiannon touched base with Bunko and Hildegard as well, with varying results.

"The duel carried no shortage of surprises. Well, Gretchen getting voted in near-unanimously wasn't really a surprise, but Elmer and Rhiannon convinced Hildegard to blindside Dean, which succeeded thanks to Dean and Wisdom trying to blindside Bunko. The duel involved swimming out to grab a torch to light an unlit torch back at the duel platform. After Gretchen threw out one of the torches, Dean was forced to fight her for the one remaining. They pulled, they tussled, and Gretchen's hair actually burned off! You don't see that every day. Her flaming locks managed to lock in her victory, however, and Dean was officially declared the loser.

"What spicy new twists do we have in store for our contestants? Will they fan the flames of rivalry, or lead to some fire-forged friendships? Will they heat up the passion of romance? It's going to be a hot one, folks! This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

True to what Chris had said, the final twelve were summoned to the duel platform early in the morning.

"I didn't even get to finish breakfast!" Steve Jenkins complained.

"What, don't you think a huge change to the game isn't worth missing breakfast for?" Chris asked, feigning offense.

"Considering we're probably going to have to build a new shelter and gather new food, it would have been nice to do so on a full stomach," Elmer commented.

"Well, since it's pretty obvious to everyone, I'm just going to come out and say it," Chris said. "Yes, it is time for yet another shuffle!"

The bridge connecting the arena and the Dock of Shame raised. The same large boat that transported the contestants between islands before was docked.

Nobody moved. Hildegard's stomach growled.

"Would it get you on the boat faster if I promised that all the rewards you guys still have would be at your new campsite?" Chris asked flatly.

This prompted the contestants to head down the dock and board the boat.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Who cares? There's nothing I can do. Everyone left in this game hates me. I just want to go home and lock myself in my room until I turn 18 and my parents can't stop me from getting estrogen.

 **Bunko:** Hooray, another shuffle! I don't think I could work with the rest of the Tough Tundras. They all voted for me or Dean! Totally not cool!

 **Virgil:** Well, the first shuffle did me a lot of favors. Maybe this one will too. If I'm not mistaken, I'm the only one among us who's made it this far without a single vote against me. Let's keep up that streak, shall we?

* * *

The contestants had all boarded the boat, and it began to move towards another island. PA system feedback sounded.

"Oh yeah, by the way," Chris's voice came from the PA. "I've lost a couple of marbles on this boat. If you can find one for me, I'll make it worth your while."

"Well, at least he admits that he's lost his marbles," Nestor snickered from the top deck.

"It's very clearly a part of the game," Shadya told him.

"Obviously. Who do you think you're dealing with here?" Nestor boasted. "Are you going to look for one?"

"Implying I need whatever advantage he's offering to win this game," Shadya scoffed.

"You really aren't that familiar with Total Drama, are you?" Nestor tsked. "It's always the most arrogant, the ones who feel the most untouchable, who have the biggest downfalls."

"You really aren't familiar with me, are you?" Shadya countered. "I am the most accomplished woman in the world. I defy trends."

"Well, if you find a marble, maybe let someone like pathetic ol' me have it?" Nestor asked with faux desperation.

"Don't count on it," Shadya said.

"Marky!" Bunko cheered as she ran up and hugged her friend. "It's been so long."

"It's only been about a week," Mark chuckled. "...Damn, it's only been about a week, hasn't it?"

"Have you remembered anything since I last saw you?" Bunko asked.

"Nothing I really want to talk about," Mark admitted.

The two looked out towards the next island.

"What kinds of neat adventures do you think are in store for us?" Bunko inquired.

"I don't know, but I'm ready for a change of pace," Mark said.

"Oh my gosh, I know!" Bunko agreed. She flipped through her sketchbook and found a page where she'd drawn the heads of all the Tough Tundras with different arrows connecting each other. "I've got so much to tell you! And when I'm done, you can tell me all about the Beaches!"

Mark looked down to the floor and saw a blue marble. He bent down and pocketed it as Bunko began explaining what had happened on the Tough Tundras.

"Let's take a walk while you talk. Maybe we can find some marbles," Mark suggested.

"Ooh! Good idea," Bunko nodded. "Anyway, so there's Shadya, right?"

As Bunko began explaining everything to Mark, Ginger began taking notes from afar on one of her devices.

"Can you actually hear what she's saying?" Rhiannon questioned.

"Ahh! Don't sneak up on me like that," Ginger scolded.

"Sorry," Rhiannon smiled.

"And, for your information, what I'm doing right now has nothing to do with either of those two," Ginger insisted. "I'm simply getting some work done on an at-home project and I just happened to glance at them."

"Ooh, is someone jealous?" Rhiannon nudged.

"How should I know? I don't pay attention to unimportant things like romance dynamics," Ginger answered.

"Not even your own?" Rhiannon asked, playing along.

"I'm asexual," Ginger said point-blank.

"Now that I think about it, you may have mentioned that to me before," Rhiannon remembered. "My bad."

"Yes, your bad. Now please, do not distract me from my work," Ginger dismissed.

"Got it," Rhiannon winked as she walked off.

* * *

Down on the lower deck, Elmer and Hildegard sat at the minibar, each with a glass of juice.

"I never thought I'd miss apple juice," Elmer joked.

"Aye, what I once considered an elixir for the very young, I now crave an endless supply of," Hildegard agreed.

"So, hey, we're still good, right?" Elmer asked.

"I had prepared to ask you the same," Hildegard responded. "Twas I who stabbed thee in the back, after all."

"I thought you only did that because we'd been butting heads," Elmer admitted.

"My motives were... complex," Hildegard admitted. "But let it be known that I do wish to continue working with Rhiannon as well as with thee."

"Rhiannon trusts you, so I trust you," Elmer said.

"Funny. That is exactly how I feel about thee," Hildegard smirked.

"Well then," Elmer held his glass up. "To vicariously trusting one another."

"Dost thou mean 'transitively'?" Hildegard teased. "'Vicariously' would involve us not knowing one another, to begin with."

Elmer chuckled as the two clinked their glasses together.

Virgil, who had been leaning against a wall with a bag of sour gummy children, took notice of this.

"So I'm going to have to keep an eye out on them, huh?" Virgil told himself. "And I guess I'll have to decide on nicknames for them both, too."

"Hey, let me have some!" Steve Jenkins demanded as he reached for Virgil's bag of candy.

"No, go find your own," Virgil scowled as he kept moving the bag out of the way.

"I tried! They must have hidden it super well or something," Steve Jenkins said.

"...Wait, did you actually?" Virgil asked. "I was kidding. I obviously brought this from home."

"Come on, man, I haven't had anything sweet in forever," Steve Jenkins complained.

"Not even the multiple kinds of fruit by the Brilliant Beach?" Virgil pointed out.

"That doesn't count," Steve Jenkins pouted.

Virgil rolled his eyes, took one piece of candy from the bag, and tossed it high in the air. Steve Jenkins caught it with his mouth perfectly.

"...You know what, just because you pulled that off, you can keep the bag," Virgil smirked.

"All will bow to the will of Steve Jenkins one way or another," Steve Jenkins grinned as he accepted the bag with one hand and ran his fingers through his hair with the other hand.

Wisdom walked up to Gretchen, who had been sitting on her own in the corner of the room.

"...Do you still want to work together?" Wisdom asked.

"Don't patronize me," Gretchen spat.

"Is that a 'no'?" Wisdom made sure.

Gretchen sighed. "If you really have no better option, then go nuts."

Wisdom looked contemplative.

"Are you just going to stand there, or-"

"Dean used to say things like that a lot, didn't he?" Wisdom mentioned.

"What?" Gretchen asked. "Oh god, have I really sunk that low?"

"Are any of the three of us really so low if we were able to run the Luscious Lollipops?" Wisdom mentioned. "If two out of three of us made it this far? You're not out of the game yet, right? Why act like it's already over for you?"

"Man, you really are desperate, aren't you?" Gretchen snickered.

"What is desperation but a drive to keep you moving forward?" Wisdom figured.

* * *

The boat docked at the new Dock of Shame, which was not inclined in the slightest unlike the one on Kairi Island. The contestants filed out of the boat and found themselves on a sparse, flat island with red earth. The coastline was covered with black sand, and a large mountain could be seen on the opposite end of the island.

"Strangely, not the least-welcoming place I've ever been to," Rhiannon quipped.

"Welcome, one and all... to Apoy Island! The island of fire's unrelenting," Chris announced. "And, for all intents and purposes, congratulations, everyone, on making it to the merge!"

"Sweet!" Steve Jenkins cheered.

"What does 'for all intents and purposes' imply?" Elmer inquired.

"Well, the teams are no more, but you aren't quite playing a strictly individual game just yet," Chris chuckled.

"Sounds complicated," Mark winced.

"Now, I trust all five of my marbles have been found?" Chris asked.

Steve Jenkins, Nestor, Hildegard, Bunko, and Mark all revealed a red, orange, yellow, green, and blue marble respectively.

"Awesome. Perfect, even!" Chris said with a single clap. "Here's how this island is going to work: the twelve of you will be put into six pairs. Every round, we will hold a challenge, where you and your partner must work together to come out on top. The winners of the challenge will not only get Invincibility but will get to put another pair up for elimination."

"Yeah, that sounds totally balanced and fair," Nestor remarked.

"I wasn't _finished_ ," Chris scolded. "In addition to that, the pairs who _didn't_ win the challenge will vote amongst themselves - as pairs - to decide the other pair to be put up for elimination. The at-risk pairs will pick one person from the opposing pair to compete in a duel. The loser of the duel will be out of the game."

"What happens to the loser's partner?" Shadya asked.

"They will remain in a state of limbo until another pair loses somebody, at which point, they will pair up with that loser's partner," Chris explained. "Limbo means that they will not compete in the challenge, they will not vote, and they will not be eligible for elimination. Once a new pair is formed, then they are out of limbo, and will compete in challenges, vote, and will be eligible to be voted for once again."

"That does sound super complicated," Bunko admitted.

"It'll come to you in practice. It's really not that hard to grasp," Chris assured her. "And that's where the marbles come in. Going in rainbow order, those of you who found marbles, pick someone who didn't get a marble to be your partner for this island."

"I'm first? Just like last time, alright," Steve Jenkins winked. "I choose Gretchen to be my partner."

Gretchen gave a weak smile as she walked up to her friend.

"Obviously, I'm going to pick Virgil," Nestor smiled.

"You really are a man of taste," Virgil smirked back.

"...I select Lady Rhiannon to accompany me," Hildegard decided.

"You just can't leave my side, can you?" Rhiannon purred.

Bunko looked over her remaining options: Elmer, Ginger, Shadya, and Wisdom.

"I guess I pick Wisdom," Bunko decided.

Wisdom silently joined up with Bunko.

Elmer and Shadya shared a knowing glance.

"I choose Elmer," Mark said.

"Oh, really?" Elmer asked, mildly surprised.

"Looks like it's you and me," Ginger said to Shadya.

"Congratulations on making it to the next shuffle," Shadya told Ginger cockily.

"And that's our pairs!" Chris announced. "Steve Jenkins and Gretchen will be the Raging Red Pair. Nestor and Virgil will be the Overheat Orange Pair. Hildegard and Rhiannon will be the Yieldless Yellow Pair. Bunko and Wisdom will be the Glowing Green Pair. Mark and Elmer will be the Blazing Blue Pair. And, by default, Ginger and Shadya will be the Pyro Purple Pair."

An intern left the boat with a briefcase. He stood by Chris and opened the case, presenting the contents to the contestants. There were two bandanas of each pair color.

"You guys even get these nifty things to help keep track of everything," Chris smiled.

The contestants each grabbed a bandana of the appropriate color and tied them around their arms, necks, foreheads, et cetera.

"That's all for now. I'll come to see you guys when it's time for your first challenge of Apoy Island," Chris said. "Feel free to start setting up camp. We'll get your rewards moved over here from Kairi Island shortly."

Nestor began clapping and cheering, prompting most of the other contestants to do the same.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Of course I'm going to pick Gretchen to be my partner. She's the only person I feel like I can even trust right now. Everyone else is too jealous and keeps trying to screw me over! It's not my fault I'm the one and only Steve Jenkins!

 **Nestor:** Okay, maybe it was a little on-the-nose by picking Virgil as my partner, but, I mean, who else I was I going to choose? Everyone else I either didn't know, or didn't trust enough to choose. We can figure things out. We did on the last island.

 **Hildegard:** While I do wish that Lady Rhiannon did not allude to us being on the same team for the entire game in front of everyone, she is the person who I feel is best suited to being an inseparable ally unto me in this game! ...And, fie, could they really think of no better Y word than "Yieldless"?

 **Bunko:** I'm still not entirely sure how much I can trust Wisdom, but Dean promised me that she's trustworthy, and I definitely trust her more than all my other options. I will do this for Dean, and for Jeremy, and Fred, and Hiram! They're all counting on me!

 **Mark:** Obviously, my trust in Ginger is unbreakable, and I think I can trust Shadya, too. That's exactly why I chose Elmer. Not only can my and Ginger's pairs work together, but he's a smart player that I think could benefit us going forward. We connected a bit on Team I Don't Know, and I think we should be able to pick it back up.

 **Shadya:** I cannot fathom why nobody would want to have the strongest and smartest player in the entire game as their partner, other than _maybe_ to avoid being seen as a threat, but it is their loss. Ginger is someone who works well with me, so I do not see this end result as a negative.

* * *

The contestants had split up amongst their newly-formed pairs to begin setting up their new camp. Gretchen and Steve Jenkins went off in search of food.

"Is there _anything_ to eat around here?" Steve Jenkins complained.

Gretchen uprooted a small plant out of curiosity, revealing it to be a carrot underneath. "You like carrots?" she asked flatly.

"Eh, it's a change of pace, I guess," Steve Jenkins figured. "We should be eating healthy, too, if we want to win all these challenges."

"I talked to Wisdom on the way to this island," Gretchen brought up. "She offered for us to resume our alliance from the first island. So we might be able to work with the Greens."

"Wisdom and Bunko, huh?" Steve Jenkins acknowledged. "They aren't the kind of usual Steve Jenkins groupies I'm used to, but I can't really think of anyone else to work with. Maybe the Yellows?"

"Hildegard and Rhiannon? That might not be a bad idea," Gretchen nodded as she tightened her bandana, which she had used to cover her scalp. "We definitely can't trust Orange or Purple, and I highly doubt Blue is going to want to work with us, either."

"Man, everyone in this game is a bunch of lamers who just don't understand what great allies they're missing out on," Steve Jenkins spat.

"You're not wrong, but..." Gretchen gave a slight smirk. "A true protagonist will always keep fighting, no matter the odds."

"Heyyyy, there's that fancy talk that I don't really understand again," Steve Jenkins beamed. "Glad to see you're back on your feet."

"This isn't going to be easy, but I won't just take defeat lying down," Gretchen said seriously. "If they think that they can take the main character out this early, they've got another thing coming!"

"Hell yeah! Steve Jenkins Pair!" Steve Jenkins cheered.

Gretchen gave him a look for a brief second before picking more carrots.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I am... very discouraged by everything that's happened over the past few days. A part of me still thinks that there's no way I can do this. But the shuffle means that the dynamics can change, and I _will_ change them in my favor... somehow.

 **Steve Jenkins:** Let's see, we've got three pairs of Brilliant Beaches, two pairs of Tough Tundras, and one pair with both. There's no way in hell we can work with those two other Beach pairs, but the Tundra pairs might be looking for some help with how outnumbered they are. That's where I lay on the Steve Jenkins charm and turn them into putty in my hands.

* * *

Nestor and Virgil went out to find materials for a new shelter.

"I cannot believe I made the merge!" Nestor geeked out. "I mean, I know literally everything there is to know about Total Drama, so obviously I had the brains, but this game did _not_ relent."

"It was an uphill battle, but that just makes it all the more satisfying," Virgil agreed. "Like sucking at a jawbreaker for hours until you finally get to the point where you can just chew it to dust."

"Alright, so we're going to need to figure out who we can work with," Nestor decided. "Purple and Blue should have our backs."

"That's going to be Gingersnap and Top Banana, and Mystery Pop and..." Virgil trailed off.

"Elmer," Nestor reminded him.

"I knew it was him, I just can't think of a good nickname for him," Virgil sighed. "He has literally nothing going for him."

"Isn't he dating that girl who was on the Luscious Lollipops?" Nestor brought up.

"Licorice? Yeah, I might need to think of something licorice-related for him," Virgil figured.

The two found some palm trees and began chopping them down.

"The point is: he shouldn't have much trouble integrating with our alliance if you were friends with Louise," Nestor said.

"That's a good point," Virgil nodded. "Obviously, the Red pair will be our priority to take out, and I'd be fine with going after the Green pair, too."

"Literally same," Nestor agreed.

The two picked up a couple of felled trees and began to carry them back to the campsite.

"So where's the Yellow pair going to factor into our plans?" Virgil wondered.

"Hell if I know," Nestor said. "We should talk to them at some point before the vote. Do you have nicknames for them, yet?"

"Spearmint and Cherry Pie," Virgil smirked.

"Nice," Nestor laughed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I think the toughest part about this new format is that, even though there are twelve of us left, we're only voting for pairs, which cuts our options in half. Even more so when you factor in that whichever pair wins the challenge gets to just pick a pair to be at risk. That's going to make it harder to slip through the cracks.

 **Nestor:** Personally, I cannot _wait_ for all the cute fanart of the different pairs. There is nothing more iconic in this world than a badass duo, and I think Virgil and I have that covered pretty well. More so than the other pairs, that's for damn sure.

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon had also gone out in search of food.

"So, what do we make of this whole 'pairs' twist?" Rhiannon asked. "That might make it a bit harder to get things going the way we want."

"At what point has that ever stopped me?" Hildegard scoffed proudly. "The great Lady Hildegard always gets her way, one way or another!"

"Elmer's in a pair with Mark, and Shadya's in a pair with Ginger - assuming she's still going to want to work with us," Rhiannon listed.

"Though I did act dishonestly towards Lady Shadya before, I cannot imagine that she hath found a better party within the single day she spent with the Beaches," Hildegard figured.

"She did vote with the majority, but then, that probably wasn't difficult to do," Rhiannon said. "What should we make of the other pairs?"

"I trusteth not the Green pair," Hildegard stated. "I hold no opinion yet towards the Red or Orange pairs."

"I feel like Red will be the easy targets right out of the gate," Rhiannon said. "And we could probably spin it so that Green end up at risk tonight, too."

"Aye, a most favorable outcome, indeed!" Hildegard grinned.

"We should talk to the Blue and Purple pairs as soon as possible," Rhiannon suggested. "Especially Purple."

"Aye, thou needest not tell me twice," Hildegard sighed. "I will give Lady Shadya my due apology."

"So, is there any actual food on this island?" Rhiannon wondered.

"I see no beasts to hunt," Hildegard griped. "What do they expect of us? To feed on the dirt as if we were but worms?"

"It wouldn't be the dirtiest thing I've ever done," Rhiannon giggled.

Hildegard gave her an unimpressed look.

"Yeah, I'll admit, that wasn't my best joke," Rhiannon said.

"Twasn't even close to a good joke," Hildegard said disapprovingly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Having allies on other pairs is going to do us a lot of good. I'll definitely have to talk to Nestor and Virgil at some point today. If we can get them on our side, then we should have the majority no matter what, and that could even guarantee that my allies and I make it through the island unscathed if all goes to plan.

 **Hildegard:** What use is having the hunting kits from before if there is nothing to hunt?! Are there moles under the ground that we must uncover first?! Are we to feast on the flesh of groundhogs? Giveth me a break.

* * *

Bunko and Wisdom had moved to the nearby beach to fish for food.

"Do you really want seafood after witnessing Jeremy's duel?" Wisdom asked groggily.

"Sure! It'll be better than just rice and berries," Bunko said as she cast her line. "Come on, it's not going to be uni or fish eyes or anything,"

"Am I just too sensitive?" Wisdom wondered. "...Anyway, what would you say about working with Gretchen and Steve Jenkins?"

"I don't know 'em, but you were on a team with Gretchen before, right?" Bunko said. "If Dean trusts you, and you trust Gretchen, then I'll trust Gretchen."

"Do you still not trust me?" Wisdom frowned.

"Well, you did brutally stab Jeremy in the back, and then you tried voting for me last night," Bunko pointed out, mildly offended at the question. "Good people don't stab anyone anywhere."

"Dean voted for you too, right? And yet you still trust him?" Wisdom asked.

"Look, the point is: if we're going to be working together, then we're going to have to trust each other whether we like it or not," Bunko said. "Anyway, I still like Mark from when we were on a team, but he's also in a pair with Elmer, and I think we both know we can't trust Elmer one bit."

"Do you think we should work with the Blue pair?" Wisdom proposed. "Any allies are good allies, right?"

"Not untrustworthy allies. Not stabby allies," Bunko denied.

"Why are you so focused on stabbing specifically?" Wisdom asked.

"We could work with the Orange pair, too," Bunko suggested. "You and Virgil were on a team before, too."

"You know he and I always worked against each other, right?" Wisdom reminded her. "Do you think he would work with us after what I did to get his allies eliminated?"

"If Elmer will work with us after you voted his girlfriend out, then anything's possible! We just need to believe!" Bunko declared.

Wisdom pondered this.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** I really have made a lot of enemies out here, haven't I? Am I truly so unlikable? Can I even trust the Blue pair to not vote for my pair?

 **Bunko:** The hardest part about this is deciding who we should vote for. We _definitely_ can't trust Yellow or Purple, and Orange might be iffy too, apparently. _(She takes out her sketchbook and begins drawing in it.)_ Wisdom and I are totally going to have the coolest flag, though!

* * *

Elmer and Mark had gone off to get firewood.

"So, hey, it's been a while since we've been able to really talk," Elmer smiled. "It's too bad we lost Fred and Roxie on the way, though."

"It is not too bad that we lost Roxie," Mark said firmly.

"Things got bad with you guys, huh?" Elmer asked. "Oh, actually, that reminds me. Right before Roxie left the game, she told me something about you lying about having amnesia, and Ginger being involved?"

Mark looked taken aback for a bit before recomposing himself. "What all did she tell you?"

"That's about all she was able to tell me," Elmer said. "I think she said that you and Ginger were working together from the start."

Mark shook his head. "You know how Ginger is a roboticist, right?"

"That slipped my mind, but I don't see how- Oh my god, are you serious?" Elmer asked flatly.

Mark nodded. "Apparently, I'm supposed to be some kind of test to see if robots can integrate with humans. Ginger says it's working, and I'm trying to keep it on the down-low. You're the only Tough Tundra I've told unless you count Shadya. All the Beaches know because Roxie spilled it to everyone."

"So you don't have amnesia, but rather, you just don't have a past?" Elmer clarified.

"Yeah, I, uh, don't really like to think about it," Mark admitted.

"Gotcha," Elmer recognized. "So, anyway, I think we can trust the Yellow pair for sure, and more than likely the Purple pair."

"I was going to say the Purple pair for sure, and more than likely the Orange pair," Mark smiled.

"Leaving the Red and Green pairs as the easy targets," Elmer surmised. "Assuming you're good with targeting Bunko. I know you guys were friendly on the first island, but I found her kind of tough to work with on the second island."

"We'll need to set priorities," Mark said. "And I prioritize getting rid of the Red pair. I'd put the Green pair as a lower priority to take out than the Yellow pair, but if you trust the Yellow pair, then we can compromise."

"Sounds great," Elmer smiled. "I'm feeling good about this, I have to say."

"Likewise," Mark smiled back.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Elmer has always been a strategically-minded person. I was able to recognize that even before I got a grasp on how this game worked. I think picking him as my partner is going to benefit me even more than I expected. With our combined connections, we could very well become the most powerful of all the pairs.

 **Elmer:** So Mark is really just Ginger's robot, huh? Well, to her credit, I never would have guessed if I wasn't outright told. Or should it be to his credit? Robots aren't exactly people, but Mark is damn convincing as one.

* * *

Ginger and Shadya went off to collect materials for the shelter.

"So, this first round is going to be pretty straightforward," Ginger grinned. "Red and Green are the obvious targets, here."

"And what if one of them wins the challenge? What then?" Shadya mentioned.

"Well, we, uh, vote for the other one, obviously," Ginger figured.

"If the Green pair wins, then we can count ourselves as at-risk," Shadya stated. "Bunko has had it out for me ever since the Fred vote, more or less, and Wisdom has always seen me as a threat. They will no doubt put us up."

"I mean, we've both won duels before, and we certainly weren't too shabby on The Best Team, either," Ginger said confidently.

"Perhaps not, but it is better to have your strength and not need it than to need it and... well, we don't _not_ have it, but you know what I mean," Shadya said.

"Yeah, I get what you're saying," Ginger nodded. "Also, did Chris ever say that the first pair who's put at risk can't vote? I don't remember that."

"He did not, but the point still stands," Shadya stated. "We shan't put in any less than 100% in these challenges."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Ginger grinned. "Keep in mind that we need to keep Mark safe, too. It's imperative for the experiment."

"At this point, if he was eliminated, he'd have more people to talk to than if he stayed in the game," Shadya pointed out.

"Yeah, but I need that prize money," Ginger reminded her with a twinkle in her eye. "Mark doubles my chances of winning it."

"If you say so," Shadya responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Why does everyone continue to forget that they will not be winning this game? I don't care if the entire rest of the cast were all Ginger's robots, I would still get all the prize money. And maybe build a robot of my own just to show that I can. _(She crosses her arms.)_

 **Ginger:** Just imagine how much more advanced I could make Mark if I got that million dollars! _(She clenches her fists excitedly.)_ If I never have to go to college or work a wage job, I'll have all the time in the world to flesh out his capability to form opinions, maybe come up with a backstory for him so he stops harping on about that, not to mention get better equipment for emulating his sight, hearing, and, hell, maybe I _could_ give him the ability to smell or taste. Why not? I'm the genius who's changing the world! I can do whatever I want! _(She laughs excitedly.)_

* * *

The twelve contestants met up with Chris at their new campsite. The shelter had been built, the fire had been set, and a small amount of food had been gathered.

"Howdy-ho, contestants!" Chris greeted. "I see you're settling into your new camp nicely."

"The food situation is pretty lacking," Steve Jenkins mentioned.

"Verily, I've yet to find a beast to provide unto us its blessings of protein," Hildegard agreed.

"Well, maybe this will motivate you a little more," Chris grinned as he snapped his fingers.

Upon the snap, a few interns exited the boat from before - which was still parked at the Dock of Shame - and began to set up a tent.

"The pair-based challenges won't just yield Invincibility and the ability to send another pair to elimination," Chris said. "I present to you... the Tent of Banquets! The pair who wins these challenges will get to pick one other pair to join them in a nice, substantial dinner."

This sparked murmurs from several of the hungry contestants.

"So what's our challenge, then?" Virgil smirked.

"Today's challenge is fairly simple," Chris said before pointing to the mountain in the distance. "There are six colored flags at the top of Mount Chrisuvius. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what colors they are and what significance they hold."

Bunko slowly raised her hand.

Chris sighed. "The flags are the colors of the six pairs. Your challenge is to go get your pair's flag and stick it in the flagpole holder that'll be set up back here."

"That is pretty straightforward," Rhiannon agreed.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Chris clapped.

An intern handcuffed Hildegard and Rhiannon's wrists together.

"The pair challenges on Apoy Island are going to be tri-armed challenges! Hehaha," Chris laughed.

Interns handcuffed the other five pairs together by their wrists as well.

"Damn height difference," Ginger grumbled as she was forced to hold her hand at chest height.

"You'll survive," Shadya said dismissively.

"If my arm gets weak and I die as a result, I'm blaming you," Ginger remarked.

"Duly noted," Shadya responded.

"Alright, if there are no more questions, this challenge begins... Now!" Chris announced.

The six pairs all ran towards Mt. Chrisuvius.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** A challenge that involves mostly running? Please. I'm Steve Jenkins. I won the "most toned and sexy legs" award in the Steve Jenkins yearbook page. I know, I know, it must be a surprise that I only got _one_ page in the yearbook, but apparently, there's some rugby team at our school that somehow takes priority over me?! I wrote a strongly-worded email to the yearbook team. No response yet. They're probably still starstruck from receiving an email from the one and only Steve Jenkins.

 **Wisdom:** Bunko and I aren't the most athletic of the contestants, are we? But we can still win regardless, right? Stranger things have happened, you know?

 **Nestor:** Winning this could be crucial for me and Virgil. Everyone knows that winning the first challenge of the merge increases your chance of making it to the final five significantly. People see you as a strong player that they'll want to work with. It sets a precedent.

* * *

The Pyro Purple Pair took an easy lead, while the Raging Red, Yieldless Yellow, and Blazing Blue Pairs all followed closely behind. The Overheat Orange and Glowing Green Pairs ran behind them further still.

"Stupid... ass... running..." Nestor panted.

"Slow and steady wins the race, you know," Virgil said.

"Girl, I am slow and steady as _hell_ and I have not won a single race in my life," Nestor responded.

"At least we're doing better than the Greens," Virgil smirked.

"I heard that!" Bunko shouted from behind the boys.

"Those long nights of programming and engineering are finally paying off," Shadya commented to Ginger.

"I can catch up to you, not match your speed," Ginger grunted.

"You're doing well enough," Shadya told her.

"Thank you, Mistress," Ginger snarked.

Rhiannon opened her mouth as if to speak, then stopped herself.

"If thou were to make a filthy joke, and stopped thyself, I thanketh thee," Hildegard said.

"It really told itself," Rhiannon figured.

"So, the Yellow pair are your closest allies?" Mark whispered to Elmer.

"They're smarter than they seem, I promise," Elmer whispered back.

"Why couldn't we have met up at the mountain? It's like way on the other side of the island?" Gretchen griped.

"That's what makes it a challenge," Steve Jenkins said. "Well, a challenge for everyone else. For Steve Jenkins, it's just a simple jog."

"I'm so proud of you," Gretchen said flatly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Steve Jenkins isn't too bad at challenges, so having him as a partner should be helpful as far as that goes, but having my game more or less attached to his is going to take some patience. Okay, way more than 'some' patience.

 **Rhiannon:** I wonder what it must be like to live your life without any sexual desire whatsoever like Ginger does.

* * *

The pairs all made it to the base of the mountain, where a clear path upward was visible. Shadya hesitated for a second before running up the path.

"Why'd you stop?" Ginger asked.

"I was considering climbing up the face of the mountain itself, but I remembered that you probably can't do that," Shadya said.

"What is the practicality in doing that?" Ginger questioned.

"Because I can still win when taking the hard road," Shadya answered.

"So, it's not practical, and you're just a show-off," Ginger said.

"If you're going to win, either way, you might as well look impressive doing it," Shadya stated.

"Move it!" Gretchen shouted as she and Steve Jenkins pushed Ginger aside and ran past her and Shadya.

"Haha, we sure showed them," Steve Jenkins laughed before getting hit in the back of the head with a rock. "OW!"

He stopped running for a second, causing Gretchen to trip over the momentum she had been going at, allowing the Pyro Purple Pair, as well as the Blazing Blue and Yieldless Yellow Pairs, to pass them.

"Quick, let's find some rocks of our own!" Steve Jenkins decided.

"Or we could keep running!" Gretchen urged. "You know, that thing we need to do to win?"

"How are we going to catch up if we can't slow them down?" Steve Jenkins asked.

"What, the great and mighty Steve Jenkins admits defeat at the hands of a LARPer?" Gretchen teased. "At the hands of some nerd who spends all her time in her basement programming?"

Steve Jenkins' eyes went wide. "Hell no!" he declared. "I'm Steve Jenkins! I'm not going to let some lamers get the best of me!"

The Raging Red Pair ran ahead quickly, just as the Overheat Orange Pair began to catch up.

"Falling behind? That must be _burning_ you up inside, eh Gretchen?" Virgil teased.

"I hope you get diabetes," Gretchen snipped back.

The Glowing Green Pair had just made it to the start of the upward path.

"Do you think... we can do this...?" Wisdom panted.

"It's worth a try!" Bunko figured.

Wisdom nodded reluctantly as the two continued running.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** If my guess is correct, "Chrisuvius" isn't just a clever portmanteau. Apoy Island is supposed to be the island of fire, after all. We'd best be careful going forward.

* * *

The Pyro Purple, Blazing Blue, and Yieldless Yellow Pairs all made it to the top of the mountain path, about ten feet below the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius, where the six flags rested in flag holders.

Shadya and Hildegard took their respective flags and began their descent. Mark took the blue flag, but Elmer hesitated.

"What's up?" Mark asked.

"Do you suppose we could throw the others' flags into the volcano?" Elmer figured.

"Volcano? Er, we don't have time to think about that. Let's go," Mark coaxed.

"You're right," Elmer agreed as the boys began their own descent.

The Pyro Purple Pair quickly made their way down the mountain path, with Shadya pushing aside the Raging Red, Overheat Orange, and Glowing Green Pairs on the way down.

"Hey!" Bunko objected.

"Such a dishonorable display," Hildegard spat as the Yieldless Yellow Pair ran past the three pairs that had fallen behind. "Can Lady Shadya not win without such acts of unnecessary violence?"

"It's probably to keep from bumping into them," Rhiannon figured.

"It still leaves a sour taste in my mouth!" Hildegard declared. She handed Hildegard the yellow flag and bent down to pick up a rock.

"Is using violence of your own going to make you any better than Shadya?" Rhiannon winced.

"'Tis righteous justice! An eye for an eye!" Hildegard insisted.

"What about turning the other cheek?" Rhiannon asked skeptically. She began to whisper. "Besides, do you really want to make Shadya even madder at you after you voted her out?"

"Convict me not, harlot!" Hildegard grunted. "I am a paladin, to enact the law! Who but I shall stand up to she who attacketh others for no reason?"

"Is she going to throw the rock or is she just going to monologue?" Ginger snickered.

"It will make no difference either way," Shadya stated.

Just then, a rock connected to the back of Shadya's knee, causing her to trip and fall, forcing Ginger to trip and fall with her.

The Yieldless Yellow Pair passed the Pyro Purple Pair.

"Sorry!" Rhiannon called back to the two.

"What on Earth is wrong with Hildegard?" Shadya growled as she and Ginger stood back up.

"I don't know, but you want to get back at her?" Ginger smirked.

Without hesitation, Shadya had already picked up a rock and tossed it expertly at Rhiannon's hand which was holding the flag, forcing her to drop it.

"Ow!" Rhiannon cried.

"Lady Rhiannon did nothing wrong!" Hildegard scolded as the two stopped and went back to pick up the flag.

Before the Pyro Purple Pair could pass the Yieldless Yellow Pair again, Hildegard stood in their way. Shadya attempted to push her out of the way, which only led to Hildegard pushing back, their hands interlocked.

"I do not know where this is coming from, but it is doing you no favors," Shadya told Hildegard.

"I fight for good! That is all!" Hildegard insisted.

"It's a bit more humid on this island, isn't it?" Rhiannon asked Ginger.

"Are you seriously talking to me about the weather right now?" Ginger asked.

Just then, a loud air horn sounded throughout the island.

"This challenge is over!" Chris's voice announced through a loud bullhorn. "Report back to your campsite immediately!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Do you think Hildegard is just scared of Shadya getting mad at her for voting her out, and is pushing her away before she gets the chance? I haven't seen her act like this since Kirkland got Tegan voted out. It's... bizarre.

* * *

The six pairs all made it back to the campsite, where the blue flag had been placed in the flagpole holder.

"As you can see, the Blazing Blue Pair has come out on top today," Chris said. "Elmer, Mark, care to join me up here by the flag?"

The boys did so.

"Congratulations, you two. You're both invincible tonight, but you also have other important duties as well," Chris said. "First up, pick one pair to be up for elimination tonight."

Elmer and Mark whispered between each other before Mark finally spoke up.

"We've agreed to put the Red pair at risk tonight," he said.

"I can confirm this," Elmer nodded.

"Tch. Figures," Gretchen scoffed.

"As if we're going to lose," Steve Jenkins said confidently.

"And now, Blazing Blue, pick one pair to join you in the Tent of Banquets," Chris instructed.

Elmer and Mark whispered between each other once again before Elmer finally spoke up.

"We invite the Orange pair to join us," Elmer said.

"I confirm this," Mark said.

"Hell yeah," Virgil smirked.

"I'm not about to turn down free food," Nestor grinned.

"You'll all have a few hours to discuss how you want the vote to go tonight," Chris said. "I'll summon you all back here when it's time for that. Until then, Blazing Blue and Overheat Orange Pairs, your dinner awaits." He gestured to the Tent of Banquets.

The Blazing Blue and Overheat Orange Pairs made their way to the Tent.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I'm not surprised in the slightest that my pair was chosen to be at risk instantly. I'm... I'm the underdog. Yeah. It's all according to... _(She sighs.)_

 **Elmer:** The Orange pair is a pair that I think we can work with, and that Mark has a little bit of connection to. I want to solidify an alliance with them, so we can have as many people on our side as possible moving forward.

* * *

Elmer, Mark, Nestor, and Virgil all sat at a large table with options of meat, side dishes, and more for them to put on their plates as they saw fit.

"Alright, men, let us discuss matters of politics and exile," Virgil said as he held a chicken drumstick aloft.

"Well, Mark and I won't be voting tonight if I recall correctly," Elmer pointed out. "Picking the Red pair to be at risk tonight _was_ our vote, I think."

"True, but you clearly want to establish trust with us if you chose us to join you to eat," Nestor said with a mouthful of mashed potatoes. He swallowed. "We're already good with Mark, of course, but neither of us really know you, Elmer."

"Virgil is friends with Louise, right?" Elmer asked. "Any friend of Louise's is a friend of mine."

"Damn shame she couldn't be here with us right now," Virgil said. "But at least Gretchen is at risk of going home."

"Do you guys have any idea of who you might vote for tonight?" Mark asked.

Virgil took notice of Mark eating a chicken thigh. "I thought Gingersnap said you didn't need to eat."

"That is true, but, I don't know, I won the meal, so I want to at least eat some of it," Mark frowned. "It helps me feel included."

"Just don't eat too much, if that's alright," Elmer told him. "But I'm curious to know if you have any plans so far as well," he said to the Overheat Orange Pair.

"I think if we had to pick right this very second, it'd be the Green pair," Nestor answered.

"Red and Green were our priority targets as well, so that works out wonderfully," Elmer smiled.

" _Your_ priority targets," Mark corrected. "I like Bunko, and if it were up to me, I'd go for the Yellow pair first."

"Of course, both of _them_ were my closest allies on the Tundras, whereas Wisdom is someone I don't think I can trust, especially long term," Elmer pointed out.

"Sounds like something you two are going to have to work out," Virgil commented. "But yeah, I don't really trust Strawberry, either, and I've barely even talked to Marble Soda."

"Not that we've talked to the Yellow pair that much, either, but they seem a lot more capable," Nestor added. "We'll get there."

"Yeah, this is only the first round of the merge. There are going to be strangers," Virgil agreed. "Unless you're Top Banana, I guess. Smart move, flipping teams after winning her duel."

"She's no slouch," Elmer agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Oh, I absolutely feel like Elmer is taking control of our pair. Just because I'm... you know... doesn't mean I'm not still half of the Blazing Blue Pair, just like he is. It definitely bothers me, but I'm not entirely sure what I can do about it right now.

 **Nestor:** For a man in a sweater vest, Elmer is definitely giving me 'alpha male who needs to be in constant control' vibes. Think your Justins, your Alejandros, your Scotts. Okay, maybe Scott isn't an alpha if All-Stars was anything to go by, but my point is: we're going to need to keep an eye on that boy.

* * *

Rhiannon and Shadya sat by the fire as the latter boiled some rice.

"Man, I can totally smell the food from the Tent of Banquets," Rhiannon pouted.

"I sent Hildegard to go catch us some fish," Shadya said. "I will season it and it should make the rice a bit more palatable."

"If she hasn't already apologized, then I really am sorry about what happened during the challenge," Rhiannon said.

"Being made to catch fish is only half of her punishment," Shadya said. "What I did not tell her is that she will be having only rice without any additions."

"Yeah, even I'm not entirely sure what that was all about," Rhiannon frowned. "I'll talk to her later."

"Elmer told me before I went to the Brilliant Beaches that Hildegard was the one who voted me into the arena. Is this true?" Shadya asked.

"I'm afraid so," Rhiannon confirmed.

"She is most likely jealous. Most ambitious people I meet tend to be, but especially women," Shadya dismissed. "She should not blame me for being better than she is. I worked hard to get to where I am."

"Well, where do you and Ginger stand on the vote tonight?" Rhiannon inquired. "I'd still like to work with you, and, if Hildegard obeying your request to go fishing means anything, I think she would, too."

"I believe that Ginger and I settled on voting for Green as soon as possible," Shadya answered.

"I couldn't agree more," Rhiannon smiled. "I have trouble imagining Bunko _or_ Wisdom working with us."

"Exactly," Shadya nodded. "We will need one more pair to join us in this vote. Orange might be our best bet."

"I wouldn't be surprised if Elmer is already pushing for them to vote Green," Rhiannon giggled.

"In that case, we should take care to make sure that he doesn't put them off of doing so," Shadya said.

"Aw, he's not that bad," Rhiannon smiled. "He's just... very confident in his ideas."

"I can't imagine why. How many of _his_ essays have been published?" Shadya scoffed. "I have had eleven of mine published, by the way."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Of all my allies, Rhiannon just might be the most dependable. Hildegard, Nestor, and Elmer have all gone behind my back in the past, Ginger and Mark are annoyingly focused on his AI's development, and I hardly know Virgil. I will have to keep the Yellow pair safe as much as possible, so I hope that Rhiannon does, indeed, keep Hildegard in check.

 **Rhiannon:** It's nice having a big, strong alliance, but it's less nice when my allies' egos start to clash and it causes friction between them. My usual means of de-stressing people doesn't seem to be of interest to any of them, either, so hopefully, I can quell all this with words alone.

* * *

Bunko sat cross-legged on the Dock of Shame as Steve Jenkins struck a dramatic pose for her to draw a caricature.

"So, are you and Gretchen going to be able to vote tonight?" Bunko asked, not looking up from her sketchbook.

"Yeah, we are, I double-checked with Chris," Steve Jenkins grinned.

"Awesome! Because I think Wisdom and Gretchen wanted to work together, so if we can get one more pair to vote for Purple with us, then we can do it!" Bunko cheered.

"Purple, huh?" Steve Jenkins asked. "I think we can do something about that."

"Good. It's time Shadya gets taken down once and for all!" Bunko declared.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Steve Jenkins said. "If Purple gets sent in, I'd much rather put Ginger up to duel."

"Whazzat?" Bunko asked skeptically.

"I mean, obviously I could smoke any opponent no problem, since I'm Steve Jenkins, but, let's be real, they're probably going to put Gretchen in," Steve Jenkins figured. "And I don't know if she could beat Shady in a duel."

"Ugh, no, it's the last island all over again!" Bunko complained. "No one wants to take a shot at Shadya because they're so confident she's going to win a duel. Jeremy lost a duel, you know, and he was one of the strongest dudes in the game."

"I just don't want to put Gretchen at risk," Steve Jenkins told her.

"Hey, keep that smile up!" Bunko encouraged. "I'm just now getting to the face portion of your caricature."

Steve Jenkins flashed a big grin and wink.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I guess, since Steve Jenkins and Gretchen are actually at-risk, they will have a say in who from the other pair will duel, but it's frustrating trying so hard to take out Shadya and having everyone else be too scared to help me!

 **Steve Jenkins:** I guess we never actually discussed who the third pair we should talk it might be. Obviously, it can't be Purple, since we're voting for Purple, and it can't be Blue since they're not voting. That just leaves Orange and Yellow. I think Gretchen went to find Hildegard, so you know what, there might be something there! Steve Jenkins comes out on top once again!

* * *

Sure enough, Gretchen found Hildegard out in the sea with her helmet and breastplate off and a scuba mask and flippers on.

"Hey! Can we talk?!" Gretchen called out.

"What business might thou have with me?" Hildegard asked. "I am tasked with finding fish for tonight's supper. Distract me not!"

"The vote tonight, what other business would I have?" Gretchen twitched.

"The Yellow pair will be voting for the Green pair tonight," Hildegard said simply.

"Okay, but can I convince you to _not_ do that?" Gretchen asked impatiently. "I couldn't help but notice how much you pissed Shadya off earlier."

Hildegard dropped her fishing spear without meaning to. "...My relationship with Lady Shadya is none of thy business."

"We've merged. Everything is everyone's business," Gretchen said. "Look, I'm saying this as someone who's going up against whatever pair we vote for. Hell, we could vote for Orange if you don't want to vote for Purple. But if you spare Green tonight, then my pair and the Green pair will not vote for Yellow in the next two votes."

"Can thou promise this on behalf of three other people?" Hildegard asked skeptically.

"Steve Jenkins will listen to reason, and Wisdom and I have been allies since the start," Gretchen smirked. "I don't make promises that I don't think I can keep."

"I will discuss it with Lady Rhiannon. I also do not make promises that I do not intend to keep," Hildegard said. "Now away with thee! I must catch dinner posthaste!"

"You do that," Gretchen muttered in an annoyed tone as she walked away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I never had any intention to vote for the Yellow pair anytime soon anyway, so keeping up my end of the bargain won't even be difficult. It's the Orange, Blue, and Purple pairs I'm really worried about. I won't let them just dominate the game. That's _my_ job, damn it!

 **Hildegard:** 'Tis true, I hold no loyalty to the Orange pair, and things between Lady Shadya and myself are... strained, to say the least. I was not lying when I said that I would need to discuss it with Lady Rhiannon, for I am truly on the fence.

* * *

Wisdom approached Ginger, who had been focused on one of her devices.

"What are you doing?" Wisdom asked curiously.

"Working on a project I'd started at home," Ginger said. "Nothing you'd understand."

"Would you explain it to me?" Wisdom requested.

"I guarantee you that it'll bore you out of your mind," Ginger told her.

"What makes you so sure?" Wisdom frowned. "What if it really does interest me?"

"How much do you know about programming?" Ginger tried.

"Programming computers?" Wisdom asked. She shook her head.

"Exactly. Now, unless you have something important to say, stop bugging me," Ginger dismissed.

"...Have you heard any ideas for who to vote for tonight?" Wisdom asked.

"Yeah, I'm not going to lie, it's going to be you," Ginger said.

"Oh? ...How come?" Wisdom frowned.

"Because you and Bunko have no good connections with anyone here?" Ginger pointed out. "Shadya tells me you two only made it this far because she would just have bigger fish to fry. Hell, you _were_ voted into the arena, and only won because Liberty fell asleep in the middle of it."

"...Weren't you voted into the arena too?" Wisdom pointed out.

"Yeah, and I beat the strongest guy in the game," Ginger boasted.

"Would you be at all willing to vote for the Yellow pair?" Wisdom asked.

"Doubtful. Shadya trusts Rhiannon," Ginger declined.

"Not Hildegard...?" Wisdom wondered under her breath.

"What was that?" Ginger asked.

Wisdom shook her head and walked away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I definitely won't miss having to deal with her. Well, assuming she gets chosen to duel and loses. We should have the votes to guarantee that Green is at risk tonight, though. That much is absolutely clear. _(She snickers.)_

 **Wisdom:** Oh, why did Dean have to lose the duel last night? Or... would that even make a difference? Would he just be a pair with Steve Jenkins instead of Gretchen? Is there anything I can do at this point?

* * *

Night had fallen, and several tiki torches were arranged in a large circle and lit not far from the shelter. Within the circle of torches were twelve camp chairs - two of the six pair colors - also arranged in a circle, with the respective contestants seated in them. Chris stood in the very center.

"Welcome, one and all, to your first Apoy Island vote!" Chris announced. "The Blazing Blue Pair has already selected the Raging Red Pair to be at risk tonight, and now it's time to determine who will join them! The Raging Red Pair will still cast a vote tonight, but the Blazing Blue Pair is only here to witness. Understood?"

"Understood," Elmer nodded.

"Yeah," Mark agreed.

"Alright, with that said, let's cast those votes!" Chris said. He pointed to a lectern a short walk away from the circle. "You'll find parchments, a permanent marker, and an urn over there. As pairs, you'll go up there and write down which pair you're voting for, fold your parchment in half, and stick it in the urn. You cannot vote for the Raging Red or Blazing Blue Pairs. Oh, and make it clear that both of you agree to the vote. Raging Red Pair, you guys are up first."

Gretchen and Steve Jenkins stood up and went over to the lectern.

* * *

After all five eligible pairs cast their votes, Chris had retrieved the urn and returned to the circle.

"You have cast your votes and made your decisions," Chris said. "The pair with the most votes will be facing off with the Raging Red Pair. First vote..."

...

...

...

"Pyro Purple."

'Purple' was written on the parchment, with the first three letters and the last three letters written in different handwriting.

...

...

...

"Glowing Green."

Both words were written in different handwriting on this one.

...

...

...

"Glowing Green."

'Bunko Wisdom' was written on this one, with Wisdom's name below Bunko's, and both names in different handwriting.

...

...

...

"...I'm going to assume that's Pyro Purple."

A Japanese character was written on the parchment in addition to the letters 'PLE'.

"I told you to write the full word," Bunko nudged Wisdom.

"If this last vote is for Overheat Orange or Yieldless Yellow, we will go to a revote," Chris said. "If it's not, then the team who gets this final vote will be at risk tonight."

Shadya snorted indifferently.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"The final vote, and the pair dueling Raging Red..." Chris began as he showed the vote.

The vote read 'Green Girls', with the word 'Apologies' written in the bottom corner in different handwriting.

"Aw, come on!" Bunko griped.

"Here's how it's going to go now," Chris began. "The Raging Red and Glowing Green Pairs will return to the lectern and cast their vote for which of their opponents will compete in the duel. Again, make it clear who you're voting for, _Glowing Green Pair._ "

Wisdom pouted.

"Glowing Green Pair, you guys can start us off this time," Chris said.

Bunko and Wisdom returned to the lectern.

* * *

After both pairs cast their votes, they stood by Chris. Gretchen and Bunko held their respective votes.

"Alright, pairs... reveal!" Chris commanded.

Gretchen and Bunko revealed their votes. The Raging Red Pair's vote was for Bunko, and the Glowing Green Pair's vote was for Steve Jenkins.

"Wait, what?!" both duelists gasped.

Gretchen and Wisdom shared a knowing smile with each other.

"Steve Jenkins, Bunko, you two will be fighting for your life tonight," Chris said. "Gretchen and Wisdom, please stick around to witness the duel. Everyone else, you may choose to watch, or you may excuse yourself to do something else.

Nobody budged.

"Alright, here's how this duel is going to work," Chris began.

Several interns began setting up tables and placing things upon them.

"You guys will have ten minutes to cook something. Anything," Chris said. "You'll have several ingredients, a portable gas stove, and a bunch of utensils. After ten minutes, your dish will be fed to our three impartial judges."

"As if anyone could be impartial when Steve Jenkins is involved," Steve Jenkins blustered.

"Oh, but they are! Did someone say 'unpaid cameo'?!" Chris beamed.

"Wait, _unpaid_?!" came a voice as three people approached.

"Budget is tight this season," Chris said. "But yes, may I welcome back three Total Drama veterans. Owen, Brick, and the loud one is Sugar."

"Awww, Chris, you big ol' flatterer," Sugar giggled.

"Lieutenant McArthur, ready and willing to perform any duties required!" Brick saluted.

"Hahaha! I don't even care if I don't get paid if it means free dinner," Owen said as he rubbed his hands together.

"This boy knows what's up," Nestor commented.

"As always, contestants who aren't dueling are not allowed to interfere in any way," Chris continued. "If there are no more questions, we can begin."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** Man, the Green pair must be _really_ cocky if they think they can put me in and get away with it! I'm Steve Jenkins! I'll win this duel twice before Bunko's even halfway ready!

 **Bunko:** Argh, of course, Wisdom and Gretchen wouldn't want to vote for each other! Every woman should have a little bit of cooking experience, though, and I'm no exception. I think I can do this!

* * *

The duel had officially begun, and Steve Jenkins and Bunko went right to their respective tables.

"Let's see, we've got eggs, we've got onions, we've got bacon..." Steve Jenkins listed as he looked over what was provided to him. "I sure could go for an omelet right now... No, I need to focus! Now, what should I make for the challenge?"

"Bread... avocado... ooh, curry powder!" Bunko said to herself. "I know what I can make with this!"

Bunko went right to work gathering several ingredients into one place. Steve Jenkins turned on his gas stove and put a skillet over it.

"Would it count as interference if I told the judges to let Steve Jenkins win?" Gretchen whispered to Chris.

"If you have to ask, then I think you know the answer," Chris responded.

Steve Jenkins cracked a couple of eggs into his skillet and began whisking at them.

"Man, they had better let me get a bite of this after the judges do," Steve Jenkins told himself.

"So... have you been watching the show since after you were on it?" Wisdom asked Brick.

"Negative. After enlisting in the army, that has been my sole focus," Brick told her. "I was barely able to make time for this."

"Ambition is important," Ginger agreed.

Bunko had put a piece of bread on her skillet and whistled while it cooked.

"What is she doing?" Elmer wondered aloud.

"Cooking bread, what's it look like?" Virgil answered.

"Hmph! Typical city boys with no idea of what _real_ food is," Sugar said with disgust.

Owen laughed.

"Try my mom's tamales and tell me I've never had real food," Elmer murmured.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** They didn't give us a whole lot to work with, so I had to improvise. But I knew what I was going to make, darn it, and I was determined!

* * *

Bunko had taken the bread off of the skillet and put it on a plate. She replaced the bread with a slice of red onion.

"I've made this for myself tons of times. Easy peasy," Bunko told herself through a nervous smile.

Steve Jenkins, meanwhile, tossed a few types of meat and veggies into his whisked eggs as they cooked.

"Can't go wrong with a good old omelet," Steve Jenkins said to no one in particular. "Especially not a Steve Jenkins omelet. Which is just a regular omelet but garnished by a tender kiss from the one and only Steve Jenkins. It triples the taste."

"So. Thoughts on them not waiting to do All-Stars until after Pahkitew Island happened?" Nestor asked Sugar. "I'm sure you've heard of my blog, 'Talking Drama with Nestor'. It's a point of contention."

"What's a blog? Like... a blueberry log?" Sugar asked.

"Have I been eating too little, or did that make sense?" Hildegard asked as she wiped some drool from her lip.

"You've definitely been eating too little, honey," Rhiannon told her.

Bunko cut open an avocado and began spreading its contents on the bread she had cooked.

"Oh, I see what she's doing," Owen realized.

"It wouldn't have been my first idea, but points for creativity," Brick nodded.

"Forget that. Points for taste and mouthfeel only," Owen refuted.

"Haha. True," Brick chuckled.

Steve Jenkins flipped his omelette-in-progress over.

"Hm. A little too brown for my liking," Steve Jenkins thought aloud as he looked at the side that was now facing up.

"And that's why context is important," Chris commented.

"Urgh, I can smell the food from here," Shadya grunted. "Why did I have to lose the food reward?"

"Can you describe smell to someone who can't smell?" Mark asked Shadya.

"You can't, hm?" Shadya asked. "And you can't taste either, I imagine?"

Mark shook his head.

"That will be a challenge, but it is one that I am not unequipped to tackle. I'll get back to you on that," Shadya told him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Steve Jenkins:** I don't have a whole lot of cooking experience, but, like, I am still Steve Jenkins here. The only thing separating me from a five-star chef is that I didn't have to pay college fees to get this good.

* * *

"And that's time!" Chris announced as he walked up to the two duelists. "Whatever's on your plate is what you'll be serving the judges!"

Sure enough, Steve Jenkins' omelet and Bunko's avocado toast were on their respective serving plates.

"We'll start with Steve Jenkins," Chris said.

Steve Jenkins sauntered up to the judges, who had just walked up to the tables. "One Steve Jenkins omelet. I'd tell you to enjoy, but I know you'll do that without my instruction."

Owen took the plate and took a bite with the provided fork.

"It's... alright," Owen said.

Brick took a bite of the omelet.

"This tastes slightly better than army rations," Brick nodded.

Sugar took a bite.

"What, no salt or pepper?!" Sugar grimaced.

"Uh, what part of 'garnished with a tender kiss from Steve Jenkins' did you guys miss?" Steve Jenkins asked indignantly.

"You... never said that," Brick said.

"Yeah, while I was cooking. I know you must have been listening because I'm Steve Jenkins and everything I say is of utmost importance," Steve Jenkins scoffed.

"Next dish!" Sugar demanded.

Bunko handed Sugar her avocado toast. The pageant queen took a bite and immediately spat it out.

"Ew! What the hell is this?!" Sugar gagged.

Brick hesitantly took a bite.

"Could use some protein, but it's got flavor," Brick said.

Owen took a bite.

"Mm, onions and curry powder?" Owen smiled. "Me likey!"

Owen tossed the rest of the toast in his mouth and began chewing excitedly.

"So, did I win?" Bunko asked.

"Allow us to discuss the result amongst ourselves, ma'am," Brick told her.

"Gotcha," Bunko nodded.

"Let me win," Steve Jenkins stage-whispered to the judges as he and Bunko walked to the circle of torches.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** You really do take for granted all the little things like getting to eat stuff like avocado toast for breakfast. Well, I'm not allowed to eat carbs usually, anyway, but... I mean, I _choose_ not to eat carbs.

* * *

Chris and the judges walked up to the contestants.

"Look alive, ladies! We've come to a decision!" Sugar said snappily.

"The omelet got an overall neutral reception, and the avocado toast got a mixed reception," Brick recapped.

"But the winner of the Total Drama cook-off is..." Owen began.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Bunko and her avocado toast!"

"What?!" Steve Jenkins roared.

"The girl at least had the common sense to season her food, even if it did taste like ass!" Sugar responded.

"If that's what ass tastes like, then-" Owen drooled.

"Please don't finish that thought, cadet," Brick interrupted. "I liked the dishes about the same, but, as Sugar said, seasoning is important, and Steve Jenkins just didn't do that."

"Is the fact that the precious commodity known only as Steve Jenkins made the omelet just not registering in your minds?" Steve Jenkins seethed.

"I never heard of you," Sugar shrugged.

"Unbelievable," Steve Jenkins spat.

"If it means anything, you get to hang out with some TD fan favorites on your Boat of Losers ride," Chris said with no actual sympathy. "And Sugar, too."

Sugar blushed and gave a flattered giggle.

"...Hey," Gretchen said as she walked up to Steve Jenkins. "I'm going to miss you. You're a dumb-ass, but you're my dumb-ass. Er, platonically, you understand."

After a short pause, she gave Steve Jenkins a kiss on the cheek.

"I have given you my blessing to win in my stead, G," Steve Jenkins said with a slight smile. "Win it for the Raging Red Pair!"

"I will," Gretchen said with a small smile of her own.

"Any last words to the others before you walk the Dock?" Chris asked Steve Jenkins.

"Ah, if I let everyone shower me with the praise they have for me, I'd be here all day," Steve Jenkins said. "Not that I'm against that. Actually, yeah, everyone, shower me in praise. I've got time."

No one showered him in praise.

"Yeah, I know what it's like to have to say goodbye to a loved one, but you'll see me again. Count on it," Steve Jenkins winked.

"Let's go, cadet," Brick urged Steve Jenkins as he and the other judges walked towards the Dock of Shame.

"Ugh, fine," Steve Jenkins sighed as he followed the three. "Later, lamers! Sorry for being too big a threat for you all! _Not_!"

Steve Jenkins and the judges walked the Dock of Shame and all boarded the Boat of Losers, which promptly drove off. Gretchen waved goodbye as the boat drove away from the island.

"Gretchen! Time to give up your Raging Red colors!" Chris announced.

"Wait, what?!" Gretchen asked as she clutched onto the bandana she'd used to cover her scalp.

"You're in limbo. You're not on the Raging Red Pair anymore," Chris explained. "Hand over the bandana."

"No! I need it!" Gretchen cried.

"It's policy, kid," Chris said. "Hand it over or I'll swipe it off your head for you."

Gretchen clenched her teeth and shut her eyes as she tore the bandana off her head and threw it at Chris.

"Thank you," Chris said flatly. He turned to the rest of the contestants. "That's all I have for you guys tonight."

"May we eat the rest of Steve Jenkins' omelet, perchance?" Hildegard asked.

"Mm... nah!" Chris grinned.

An intern took the plate with the half-eaten omelet and walked off with it. Hildegard fell to her knees.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** See, I'm no pushover! I just beat _Steve Jenkins_ in a duel, guys! If I can do that, then I can do anything. I bet I could even beat Shadya in a duel. Let me at her!

 **Gretchen:** _(She rubs the top of her head.)_ Eugh, it's still blistering. Disgusting. I'm disgusting. But I am invincible this next round if I'm not mistaken. And I'm going to take full advantage of that.

 **Nestor:** ...Damn it, I was going to ask Owen and Brick their opinion on that gay cannibalism fanfic about them, and I completely forgot to! Ugh!

* * *

Chris stood at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"It's a whole new island, a whole new way to play, and a whole new strategy to figure out," Chris said. "Will any pairs start any internal conflicts? Will any new deals be struck? Will Gretchen be able to do anything in limbo? And who will be her new partner following the next elimination? You'll have to find out, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

Raging Red: Pyro Purple

Overheat Orange: Glowing Green

Yieldless Yellow: Glowing Green

Glowing Green: Pyro Purple

Blazing Blue: Raging Red

Pyro Purple: Glowing Green

* * *

 **Raging Red Pair:**

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Overheat Orange Pair:**

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Yieldless Yellow Pair:**

Hildegard - The Paladin

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

 **Glowing Green Pair:**

Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Blazing Blue Pair:**

Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend

Mark - The Amnesiac

 **Pyro Purple Pair:**

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: Lmao, Steve Jenkins was going to go home back on like Whenua Island, and then I realized that he was way too much fun to write, so I ended up swapping his placement with Rowan, who was the original merge boot. I don't regret this decision in the slightest, since I feel like Steve Jenkins and his comic relief antics were a fun break from all the constant strategizing, and, from what a lot of readers told me, that isn't just what I think._

 _I don't know if I've ever mentioned this on FanFiction before, but I've been writing TD fics since like 2008 when TDI was still big, and Steve Jenkins is actually some dumb-ass idea I had from around that time that I never actually put in a fic but had always stuck in the back of my mind. I figured he'd suit a larger cast like this well, but with the numbers thinning out, I'd say now is a good time to let him go, as he was never as connected or plot-involved as the others._


	16. The Opposite Of Saving My Life

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius. "In our last episode, our final twelve graduated from the pre-merge and headed on over to Apoy Island to commence the second shuffle of the game.

"Things heated up pretty quickly as they were separated into six pairs that will be forced to play together in challenges and votes. Some obvious duos like Gretchen and Steve Jenkins, and Nestor and Virgil paired up, while other pairs like Bunko and Wisdom, and Elmer and Mark proved to have an interesting effect on the dynamics of the contestants. Specifically, the alliance of Nestor, Virgil, Mark, and Ginger found themselves working with the alliance of Elmer, Rhiannon, and Hildegard thanks to a common ally in Shadya, and the Blazing Blue Pair solidified it.

"This left the Raging Red and Glowing Green Pairs on the outs, and, despite their best efforts, both pairs ended up at risk of elimination. Bunko and Steve Jenkins were the decided-upon duelists that night, thanks in no small part to the pre-existing alliance between Gretchen and Wisdom. It was a cook-off that... well, it's probably not going to end all cook-offs, but it certainly left our judges torn. In the end, Bunko's better understanding of how cooking works gave her the edge, and Steve Jenkins was sent packing, leaving Gretchen in limbo for this round.

"When you're voting as a pair, for a pair, your options are even fewer. Will that come into play in tonight's vote? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon ate their breakfast together.

"So, are you feeling better this morning?" Rhiannon asked.

"Hm? Did I seem as though I was not feeling well previously?" Hildegard asked.

"I think you just not eating that one day is catching up to you," Rhiannon admitted. "You got... kind of aggressive yesterday."

"...Aye, I suppose," Hildegard begrudgingly agreed. "But Lady Shadya gave me my due punishment by reducing my rations last night."

"Well, if anything's bugging you, you know you can talk to me about it," Rhiannon told her.

"A good knight shall not let her emotions get the best of her anyway," Hildegard stated.

"That'll be easier if you talk them out instead of bottling them up," Rhiannon said sympathetically. "It's not a weakness. Lying to yourself and others... that's a weakness."

"I resent thy insinuations that I am a liar," Hildegard frowned.

"Really? Because I'd like to talk to you about that," Gretchen said as she approached the two.

"Mind thine own business, Gretchen," Hildegard said.

"Because I couldn't help but notice that the Green pair was voted into risk last night instead of the Purple pair," Gretchen continued.

"I told thee that I would speak to Lady Rhiannon about it. We spoke about it, and agreed to vote for Green!" Hildegard insisted.

"I can vouch for that," Rhiannon said. "It's nothing against you or the Green pair, we just trust the Purple pair more."

"You've known Ginger for all of two seconds," Gretchen pointed out. "You trust _Shadya_. No, you _depend_ on Shadya. You're all just playing Shadya's game right now."

"I am doing no such thing!" Hildegard snapped.

"Tell me. When is the earliest that you'd be willing to get rid of Shadya?" Gretchen challenged.

"Gretchen, you aren't going to gain anything by antagonizing us," Rhiannon frowned.

"Antagonizing? Me?" Gretchen faked offense. "I'm just concerned that you two are throwing away your games for someone who only sees you as pawns. I'm only looking out for you."

"Leave us be, witch," Hildegard spat.

Gretchen held her hands up innocently and walked away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** We've barely been on this island for 24 hours, and already things are getting a million times tenser than they were on the last island. But I need to stay positive.

 **Hildegard:** Mine only qualms with last night's elimination is that Gretchen is now safe in this round. But only for this round. She will not be so lucky in the next round. She had best remember that if she is to taunt the great Lady Hildegard!

 **Gretchen:** I need to find and take advantage of cracks in this big alliance. Shadya and Hildegard clearly did not get along in yesterday's challenge, so I thought that'd be a good place to start, but evidently, Hildegard is exactly as difficult to deal with as she always seemed.

* * *

Wisdom found Mark collecting firewood.

"Mark? Can I speak with you?" Wisdom inquired.

"Huh? Yeah, what's up?" Mark asked.

"What is your opinion on Gretchen?" Wisdom wondered.

"We haven't really seen eye-to-eye, but then, I guess she and I don't really have anything personal against one another. Aside from her accusing me of stealing her role as protagonist," Mark answered. "I think we just ended up on different sides on the Brilliant Beaches."

"Would you be willing to work with her if it came down to it?" Wisdom asked.

"Is it coming down to it?" Mark challenged.

"You and Bunko are friends, right?" Wisdom mentioned. "So our pairs could work together, right? And with Gretchen as someone I trust, our three pairs could take the majority, you know?"

"Gretchen doesn't have a pair," Mark pointed out.

"Not yet, but she will, won't she?" Wisdom pointed out in return.

"And what if her pair is simply to replace you or Bunko?" Mark asked. "That's not a threat on my part, but it's a real possibility."

"Does it have to be?" Wisdom asked. "Is this because Elmer doesn't like me and Gretchen?"

"Elmer has nothing to do with this," Mark insisted.

"Then why won't you consider this?" Wisdom frowned.

"Because it doesn't make any sense to do so right now," Mark told her. "If Gretchen ends up in a pair with someone who isn't you or Bunko, then I can talk to Elmer about it, but right now, there's no reason to flip on my allies."

Wisdom nodded. "Do you want some help carrying back firewood?"

"That would be nice, actually," Mark smiled.

Wisdom picked up some firewood and the two headed back to camp.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** What I won't tell Wisdom is that I... I just can't betray Ginger. Bunko is my friend, don't get me wrong, and I have nothing against Wisdom, either, but keeping Ginger safe is my top priority. Possibly even more so than keeping myself safe.

 **Wisdom:** Should I continue to pursue a working relationship with the Blue pair? Should I abandon it and find other potential allies? But who? What other pairs would be willing to work with me?

* * *

Elmer found Ginger typing into her usual device.

"Hey, Ginger?" Elmer prompted.

"Hm? This had better be important," Ginger said, not looking up.

"Well, if we're going to be working together, we should probably get to know each other," Elmer figured. "What's your life back home like?"

"I spend most of my time in my basement, shaping the future," Ginger grinned. "Robots _will_ live among us in our lifetime. Count on it."

"Yeah, Mark clued me in," Elmer said.

"Damn it. I wish he wouldn't," Ginger griped.

"He said that I'm the only Tough Tundra he told," Elmer said. "So, what are your family and friends like?"

"I've got parents. They know to leave me to my own devices," Ginger said. "I've got a couple of friends at school, but I dedicate most of my free time to programming and engineering."

"Sounds kind of lonely," Elmer figured.

"Well, I mean, look at me now," Ginger responded. "I'm on Total Drama and I'm still over here by myself working on my projects."

"Yeah, and I'm not sure how well that's going to work out for you," Elmer told her.

"I'm glad I asked for your input," Ginger snipped.

"Have you spoken to either of the Yellow pair yet?" Elmer asked.

"I'll get around to it," Ginger said. "Rhiannon doesn't seem interesting at all to someone like me, and Hildegard threw a rock at my partner in the last challenge. Breaking bread with them isn't exactly a priority of mine. Either way, we have a majority alliance."

"So I take it that the plan for Purple right now is to vote for Yellow, assuming Green is sent in by the winners of the challenge?" Elmer brought up.

"Sure, that works for me," Ginger agreed.

"That was a guess, not a suggestion," Elmer sighed.

"I have more history with Orange, and I'm never going to put Mark at risk," Ginger explained. "It's as simple as that."

"And if Yellow wins the challenge and sends Green in?" Elmer prompted.

"Then we'd probably vote for Orange. Weren't you listening?" Ginger asked impatiently.

"Well, I imagine the same courtesy of never voting for your pair is on Mark's mind, so I won't be voting for you any time soon, either," Elmer told her. "We should strengthen our rapport in light of this, but I can see that you're busy and in no mood to talk."

"What was your first clue?" Ginger snarked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** This unbreakable Mark/Ginger duo... Obviously, it's concerning, but there isn't a whole lot that I can do about it, at least right now. I'd much rather see both Yellows in the endgame alongside myself. Shadya - AKA the biggest threat in the game - being attached to Ginger will mean I won't really be able to deal with her, either. Not that I plan on betraying anyone as long as Gretchen, Bunko, and Wisdom are still here, but it pays to plan ahead.

 **Ginger:** Oh, yeah, I'm definitely not putting in as much effort as I was on the last island. It was so much harder to secure the numbers I needed then. That's not really the case here, where we've got a strong core of four pairs. For your information, I am working on a backstory for Mark. So I'm not being entirely selfish, here.

* * *

Bunko had brought Virgil to the Dock of Shame to draw a caricature of him.

"So, hey, no hard feelings about the vote last night, right?" Virgil asked.

"You may have walked the path of evil last night, but you can still redeem yourself," Bunko smiled cheerily.

"Oh? How so?" Virgil asked monotonously.

"By not supporting Shadya in tonight's vote," Bunko explained. "There are other options, you know. Options that have yellow bandanas and no loyalty to either of us."

"Look, I've got no beef with you, but Strawberry and I don't really get along," Virgil pointed out.

"I don't think she actually has anything against you," Bunko pointed out. "She told me about Jim and Louise, though, so I can't really blame you for not wanting to trust her. Between you and me, I don't fully trust her, either."

"Well, you know what they say about the enemy of my enemy," Virgil smirked.

"So you do want to work together?!" Bunko asked excitedly.

"What's your current plan? I think Blueberry and I can be flexible," Virgil inquired.

"My plan is to try to take out Shadya until it actually happens!" Bunko declared.

"Judging by how the pairs who are at risk pick someone from the other pair to duel, that might be tough," Virgil figured. "I can't think of a lot of people who would willingly risk a duel against Top Banana."

"Who can you think of?" Bunko asked.

"The only remote chance is going to be Mystery Pop," Virgil said. "And that's only because I don't see him putting Gingersnap at risk."

"Interesting, interesting..." Bunko nodded as she flipped to another page in her sketchbook and wrote something down in it.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** I knew I could count on Mark! Whether or not I can count on Elmer is a whole other story, though. He's proven to me time and time again that he has no intention of helping me. This is a pickle, and I don't like pickles. Not even on chicken sandwiches.

 **Virgil:** Marble Soda's alright, but I can't see myself sinking my game for her sake, you know? I've barely met the kid.

* * *

Nestor and Shadya had gone off to collect food.

"So, who would have thought that we'd end up working together after all that's happened betwixt us?" Nestor smirked.

"You'll have to remind me what happened," Shadya said flatly.

"Starting out on opposite alliances with me targeting you... and then I voted with you in the one Best Team vote and then again in the one Brilliant Beaches vote..." Nestor thought aloud. "Okay, maybe it wasn't much, but I never thought I'd be in an alliance with you."

"Am I to understand that as you not wishing to be in an alliance with me?" Shadya asked dubiously.

"Look, I'm just trying to appreciate how once-bitter rivals can come together in these trying times," Nestor said dramatically.

"Were we bitter rivals in your eyes?" Shadya snorted. "We've spent more time on different teams than on the same team."

"Fine, if you don't want fun and interesting dynamics that will get fans to like you, then be like that," Nestor gesticulated.

"I don't care if the fans like me," Shadya stated.

"Then why are you even _here_?!" Nestor snapped. He cleared his throat. "Look, Total Drama means everything to me. I met all my friends through a shared interest in Total Drama. I spend all my time watching and analyzing and theorizing about Total Drama. And I make people happy by letting them join in on the fun. If you're so sure you're going to win - and you could, don't get me wrong - then at least act like you give a damn. Otherwise, why am I here? Why are any of us here? Why are _you_ here?"

"Are you finished?" Shadya asked, unimpressed. "I am here because this is a task I have not yet accomplished. Simple as that."

"No, wait, I remember now!" Nestor recalled. "Your luxury item! That picture of your dad. You said you were doing it all for him, right?"

"You have no right bringing my past into this!" Shadya snapped.

"Right, because all your past accomplishments are only the only thing you ever talk about," Nestor scoffed. "If you're so confident that you're going to win this, at least have the decency to be likable to a viewing audience. This dad stuff is a step in the right direction."

"The only reason you and I were aligned up to this point is that Ginger trusts Virgil," Shadya reminded him. "And with two pairs to be at-risk, we'll need someone else to put alongside the Green pair."

"So, what you're saying is... I'm your rival now?" Nestor grinned.

"Don't make me hurt you," Shadya scowled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** I know, I know, this is exactly why Roxie tried throwing me under the bus. But I know how this shit goes. Derrick won American Big Brother. Boston Rob won Survivor Redemption Island. I'm just saying. Granted, I don't think Total Drama is rigging this for Shadya like those shows did, but it's like I said at the start of the season. I'll be damned if the season of my favorite show that I am on has such a boring and unchallenged winner!

 **Shadya:** I love my dad, and he has been very supportive of me in my endeavors. But this does not concern him. Nestor should avoid poking his nose in business that does not involve him, and this applies both to my motivations for playing and the way that I'm playing.

* * *

Rhiannon approached Ginger, who was sitting in the shelter working on her device.

"Hey, sweetie. How's it going?" Rhiannon asked.

"At what point did I become 'sweetie'?" Ginger asked.

"Aw, I'm just affectionate. You know me," Rhiannon giggled as she sat next to Ginger. "So, we haven't really talked a whole lot."

"Yeah, Elmer was pretty quick to point that out to me," Ginger groaned.

"I'm sure he just wants for everyone in the alliance to get along," Rhiannon figured. "You know, to avoid cracks or mishaps."

"The main problem being that you and I have nothing in common," Ginger pointed out.

"Oh, that's not entirely true," Rhiannon said. "We're, uh... both women. Both allies of Shadya. Both in the final eleven."

"Damn, no wonder you and Hildegard get along so well. She has all those things, too," Ginger snarked.

"Okay, did I do something for you to not like me?" Rhiannon frowned.

"I'm just kind of busy over here," Ginger said.

Rhiannon peeked at the device's screen. "What are you working on?"

"Robot stuff," Ginger answered.

"Oh, that's right, you're into robots," Rhiannon remembered.

"You forgot about that?" Ginger asked flatly as she glanced at her device.

"I couldn't remember what it was that thing was for," Rhiannon admitted. "Why don't you talk to me about it? How you got into robots in the first place."

"What difference does it make to you?" Ginger deflected.

"We might as well be friends if we're going to work together. Come on, what's the harm in telling me?" Rhiannon smiled.

Ginger sighed. "I grew up on TV shows like My Life As A Teenage Robot and Robot Wars. I was _obsessed_ with the idea of being able to build machines, especially if they resembled people. I got so many science kits as a kid for birthdays and Christmas, and you'd better believe I used those until they didn't work anymore. Eventually, I took to the internet and learned Java. Basic stuff. And it just kept picking up from there."

"And you've got a robot you're working on at home, right?" Rhiannon recalled. "That's what that thing you're working on is for? Programming... or something?"

"Pretty much," Ginger confirmed. "Now how the hell did you get into _your_ field, hm?"

"I'm not sure it'll be as interesting to you as other people, but I'll tell you," Rhiannon winked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Maybe I was a little hard on Rhiannon before. She's not _that_ bad. I still don't get the fascination with sex, but then, most people don't get my fascination with robots.

 **Rhiannon:** Getting to know people is an important skill, both in the industry and in real life. And Ginger is a valuable ally, being connected to Shadya and all. I think we'll work well together in the future, now what we've developed some chemistry... of sorts.

* * *

Wisdom approached Elmer as he made his way back to camp.

"Elmer? May I speak with you?" Wisdom asked.

"What's up?" Elmer asked tentatively.

"Are you still mad at me?" Wisdom asked.

"I mean..." Elmer sighed. "The whole Louise thing still doesn't sit well with me, but I'm not trying to hold a grudge. Where's this coming from?"

"How willing would you be to work with the Green pair in the future?" Wisdom asked. "Mark is friends with Bunko, you know? Any allies could be useful, right?"

"Look, it's just not viable for that to happen," Elmer told her. "Mark is also friends with Ginger and Virgil and Nestor, and they're already allies with my ally Shadya."

"Are you friends with Ginger and Virgil and Nestor?" Wisdom asked.

"I get along with them," Elmer shrugged.

"If Shadya left, would you still trust them?" Wisdom asked.

Elmer paused to think. "If any of them had to pick someone from the Blue pair to duel, it'd probably be me, but, conversely, I think Shadya, Hildegard, and Rhiannon would keep me safe in the same scenario."

"How much do you trust Gretchen?" Wisdom asked.

"Not in the slightest," Elmer said. "The Blue pair chose to put the Red pair at risk for a reason."

Wisdom nodded in understanding. "Did you know that Mark told me that he'd be willing to consider a deal if Gretchen ended up on a non-Green pair next round?"

"That's something I'm going to have to talk to him about," Elmer said firmly.

Wisdom nodded in understanding again. "But what do you think?"

"Ask me again after the pair challenge," Elmer told her. "There are too many variables right now for me to be able to give you a solid answer."

Wisdom nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Damn, Wisdom really must be desperate for allies if she's asking me. I don't know. I've already got my alliance. I see no reason to turn on them. Of course, there is a good chance that the Green pair will just get sent in by whoever wins the challenge, so I'll have to vote for someone...

 **Wisdom:** Can I rely on the Blue pair at all? Who else should I ask? Will the Yellow pair consider a deal? It's not as though Hildegard and I have never voted together, right?

* * *

Mark and Virgil had gone fishing together.

"So, do you think you and Nestor are going to work well with Elmer?" Mark inquired.

"I mean, I'm going to be real, I still can't think of a nickname for him," Virgil admitted.

"I can't really help you there. I don't know a thing about candy," Mark said with a sad smile.

"For real? Damn, Gingersnap needs to get her priorities in check," Virgil sighed.

"Well, I can't eat it, so I can't imagine how knowledge of it would be a priority for me," Mark explained.

"I'm half-joking," Virgil said. "Anyway, Elmer... Like I said, any friend of Licorice is a friend of mine. I don't know about Blueberry, though. You'd have to ask him."

"Makes sense," Mark nodded. "See, the thing is, I'm not so sure about Elmer myself."

"Oh, do tell," Virgil smirked as he unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in his mouth.

"He definitely thinks that he's running the Blue pair," Mark grumbled. "He never listens to my ideas, and he's definitely spoken on behalf of both of us."

"Well, there's not a whole lot you can do about that," Virgil responded. "Unless he somehow went home."

"Yeah, but... huh," Mark pondered.

"Are the literal gears in your head turning?" Virgil grinned.

"...I don't have literal gears in my head," Mark said flatly. "My brain, so to speak, consists of a CPU and RAM. You've used a computer, right? You know what a motherboard is."

"I can't say I know a whole lot about computers, my guy," Virgil admitted. "I use them, but I couldn't tinker with one to save my life. If anything, my dumb ass would probably get electrocuted, which is the opposite of saving my life."

"How very morbid," Mark frowned. "But, to answer your question, I am running through scenarios in my head. There is a lot to consider."

"I've got to say, I am here for these robot schemes of yours," Virgil nudged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Virgil is someone who has proven trustworthy to me in the past. We've voted together almost every instance we could. So if I can come up with a plan that suits both of us, as well as Ginger, then I will do so. I just need to find the right scenario...

 **Virgil:** Damn, Gingersnap really knew what she was doing when she programmed Mystery Pop's brain. Or, motherboard, I guess. I still think he's missing out big-time living a life without sweets, though. I'm just saying.

* * *

Nestor had gone to the Dock of Shame to get his caricature drawn by Bunko.

"Man, I already know my lips are going to take up half my face on this drawing," Nestor teased.

"That's what caricature _is_ ," Bunko said dramatically. "The _art_ of exaggeration!"

"Naw, I'm just playing, girl. I don't really care," Nestor winked. "I've had my caricature done before. I know how it is."

"Good, because Hildegard still hates how big I made her nose when I drew her," Bunko huffed.

"Ah, what does Hildegard know?" Nestor chuckled.

"So hey, I talked to Virgil earlier," Bunko brought up. "We talked about seeing if we could get the Purple and Blue pairs up for elimination tonight."

"Did you, now?" Nestor asked as his eyebrows raised.

"Mhm!" Bunko confirmed excitedly. "He said something about Mark being the only person who would put Shadya at risk since he's so loyal to Ginger. At least I think that's who he was talking about. Nicknames are weird."

"I think it's cute how he comes up with nicknames for everyone," Nestor beamed.

"Awwwwwwww, you think he's cute?!" Bunko gushed.

"Well, obviously he's cute, but pushing for a relationship when there's a game to be played isn't going to do either of us any favors," Nestor explained. "You've seen this show, right? Relationships are only going to get you hurt in this game."

"Elmer _was_ pretty mad when Louise got voted out," Bunko reasoned. She smiled slyly. "But what about _after_ the game, huh?"

Nestor chuckled. "We'll see. And as far as Blue and Purple tonight goes, we'll see about that as well."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Blue and Purple specifically, eh? I don't think that's going to end up with Ginger or Mark going since they're going to try to keep the other safe so that just leaves Elmer and Shadya. Now _that_ would be an interesting shake-up that I think this season could use. I may need to think about this, boys and girls.

 **Bunko:** Nestor is so much fun to talk to! Man, I wish he was on the Tough Tundras instead of Elmer. Maybe I could have gotten somewhere!

* * *

As Shadya finished descending from Mt. Chrisuvius, Gretchen approached her.

"Hey. Just finished a hike?" Gretchen asked.

"Anything and everything I do could not be less of your business," Shadya dismissed.

"Look, I've got some news that you might want to hear, so I'd cut the attitude if you don't want to get blindsided tonight," Gretchen sneered.

"If you think that Bunko pushing to vote for me is news, then you really are as bad at the game as Ginger said," Shadya condescended.

"Okay, but what if I told you that she was gaining traction?" Gretchen said with a cat-like grin.

"Just tell me and leave me alone," Shadya said impatiently.

"I've seen her talking to the Orange pair, and I know the Orange pair is lowest on your totem pole," Gretchen explained. "I've seen Wisdom talking to the Blue pair, too. They're networking, and when there are so few votes to be cast, even one pair flipping against you could make the difference."

"I don't see how this is relevant when I will be winning today's pair challenge," Shadya stated.

"Oh, like you did yesterday?" Gretchen snarked.

"Hildegard has received her punishment and will not do what she did again," Shadya explained.

"That is right!" Hildegard confirmed as she now stood behind Gretchen.

"Gah!" Gretchen jumped. "When the hell did you get here?!"

"I witnessed thee hounding Lady Shadya," Hildegard scowled. "I would not have thee spreading thy venom to mine allies!"

"Don't think you can bully me out of playing the game," Gretchen said as she jabbed a finger into Hildegard's breastplate. "We're all here to play and win. Except maybe you, Shadya's lapdog."

"The great paladin Lady Hildegard is nobody's lapdog!" Hildegard snapped.

"Calm down. She isn't worth getting angry at," Shadya instructed.

Hildegard reluctantly calmed down.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Hildegard's and Shadya's dynamic fascinates me. Hildegard clearly wants to be in charge, but one word from Shadya and she regresses into being a squire. I'll definitely do what I can to cause any sort of friction between those two.

 **Shadya:** What Gretchen is doing is the exact kind of thing that Rowan tried doing: trying to force conflict between me and my allies because she knows she's at the bottom. We all saw how well that worked out for Rowan. If Gretchen were not in limbo, she would absolutely be at risk tonight.

 **Hildegard:** Of course I would take a leadership position if the situation called for it, but any good knight knows her place, and my place is not above Lady Shadya. To insinuate otherwise would be foolish. She holds the power in this game, after all.

* * *

Rhiannon found Elmer writing things in the sand with a twig.

"Hey there~" Rhiannon winked. "Planning something big?"

"The pairs twist gives me a lot to think about," Elmer answered. "Surely you're thinking about it too, right? Where the votes might fall depending on who ends up as Gretchen's new partner?"

"Maybe a little, but not extensively," Rhiannon answered as she sat down next to him. She looked out to the sea in front of her. "It's kind of liberating, isn't it?"

"What is?" Elmer asked.

"Just being out in the wild, without having to worry about school, or a job, or anything," Rhiannon explained.

"Well, we still have to worry about the game," Elmer pointed out. "Besides, I thought you liked your job."

"W-Well yeah, of- of course, I like my job," Rhiannon stammered with a smile.

"...Rhiannon, you do like your job, right?" Elmer asked, concerned. "Because I've heard that... people in your field generally aren't treated very well."

"I mean, people in any field generally aren't treated well, right?" Rhiannon excused. "That's what makes it a job. You get your managers and coworkers you don't like."

"Yeah, but it's different for what you do, right?" Elmer asked. "Rhiannon, you're keeping yourself safe, right?"

"Of course!" Rhiannon promised. "...I shouldn't be talking about this. I'm here to highlight the good of being sexually open and watching porn."

"Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here to listen," Elmer said solemnly.

"I shouldn't," Rhiannon repeated.

"You've put up with all my crap because that's what friends are for," Elmer asserted. "Louise has always urged me to talk to a trusted friend about things that are bothering me. It really makes a positive difference."

"I... I should go," Rhiannon quavered as she stood up and left.

"Jessica!" Elmer called.

Rhiannon ran away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** For the record, it's not nearly as bad as I apparently made it sound. Sometimes I have to work with actors I might not want to. That's just part of working in porn. It happens. It's not a big deal. _(She starts to angrily tear up.)_ He had better not call me 'Jessica' ever again!

 **Elmer:** Damn, I always thought that she genuinely had no problems with working in porn. Now I feel dirty even calling her by her porn name. I'm actually really concerned about her well-being, now. Shit. I know I should be focusing on the game, but this might be serious.

* * *

The five pairs met up with Chris at the campsite.

"Alright, contestants! Are you guys ready for your next challenge?!" Chris asked excitedly.

Wisdom turned to see several interns fastening machines into the ground a fair distance away. "What are they doing?" she asked.

"Gee, I wonder. It's not like we have a challenge coming up or anything," Chris deadpanned.

"So what's the challenge going to be, Cupcake?" Virgil inquired.

"I swear, none of the other kids were ever this impatient," Chris muttered. He cleared his throat. "As pairs, you will be holding onto some giant foam marshmallows, which will be lifted several feet above the ground by those machines there."

The contestants turned to see an intern sticking a large foam marshmallow on one of the machines. Just as Chris said, the machine extended several feet above the ground and then lowered.

"Your goal is to be the pair that holds onto their marshmallow the longest," Chris explained. "Once you both hit the ground, your pair is out of the challenge."

"And I can presume that we will be handcuffed together in this one, just like yesterday?" Shadya figured.

"That is correct!" Chris confirmed.

A few interns arrived on-scene to handcuff the pairs together.

"It's a simple challenge, so I know there aren't any non-stupid questions," Chris snickered. "Let's get this challenge underway!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** I'm not even allowed to be there to watch the challenge, so they made me go somewhere else on the island. How rude! I know it's customary to have scenes with only side characters and not the protagonist, but this is overkill, don't you think?

 **Nestor:** First running, and now we've got to hold our weight for an extended period of time? I am _not_ here for these challenges that I am clearly not going to do well at! Give me a Rachel haircut, because I'm about to speak to the manager!

 **Wisdom:** How tonight's vote goes could depend on who wins this challenge, huh? Do you think Bunko and I can pull this off? If we try extra-hard, anything can happen, right? _(She gulps.)_

* * *

The giant marshmallows were at about ground level, and the pairs all hugged a different marshmallow. Each pair had one member on either side, with their handcuffed arms meeting in the middle and facing towards Chris.

"Once the giant foam marshmallows have been raised, the challenge has officially begun!" Chris announced. "Hehaha. Good luck!"

The machines raised the marshmallows several feet in the air. Most of the contestants hugged the marshmallow with their legs. In the case of Nestor, he was too heavy for the machine to actually lift him, so he reflexively let go of the marshmallow, forcing his handcuffed partner Virgil off of the marshmallow as well, bringing him to the ground.

"Well, that was fast! Hehaha!" Chris laughed. "The Overheat Orange Pair is out of the challenge!"

Bunko, noticing this, held onto her marshmallow as tightly as she could with her arms and legs. Wisdom did the same.

"Well, that's unfortunate," Virgil grunted.

"This challenge is fatphobic and I will not stand for it," Nestor joked.

"If we were going to lose, it's better that we do so now than after straining ourselves," Virgil justified.

"I'm going to have to ask you two to keep it down as if it were a duel," Chris told the Overheat Orange Pair.

Virgil put on a cheesy fake smile and gave two thumbs up. Nestor chuckled.

"I don't suppose there's any way you can toggle your ability to feel pain off?" Elmer asked Mark.

"I don't believe so," Mark admitted. "I probably shouldn't be straining myself to the point of damage, anyway. There'd be no way to repair me."

"Ginger can't do simple repairs?" Shadya doubted.

"I can, but I don't have all the stuff I'd need if he, say, lost his arms," Ginger clarified. "Have you forgotten that I am, in fact, a genius? Geez."

"Are you sure you should have worn your helmet and breastplate?" Rhiannon asked Hildegard.

"...It occurred not to me to remove them," Hildegard confessed. "But I am nothing if not a strong and capable knight! We can win despite the extra weight!"

"At least I don't weigh much, right?" Wisdom told herself.

"Yeah! Short girls!" Bunko cheered.

Nestor and Virgil glanced at each other with amused skepticism.

Just then, Rhiannon lost grip of her marshmallow, sending her and Hildegard down the ground below.

"Yieldless Yellow is out of the challenge!" Chris announced.

"Well, I certainly do not regret wearing mine armor now," Hildegard groaned as she and Rhiannon stood up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I'm not going to lie, I'm not exactly jazzed to see where the vote goes with the Orange pair vulnerable once again. Even my allies on the Blue and Purple pairs have the other half of their pairs who are good with Yellow. Blueberry and I may need to do some talking tonight.

 **Rhiannon:** It's not that I don't have endurance, because that's definitely not true. I think I just let my mind wander and didn't focus as much on holding onto the marshmallow as I should have. That's... on me.

* * *

The Glowing Green, Blazing Blue, and Pyro Purple Pairs all held onto their marshmallows tightly.

"Three pairs still in the running to win Invincibility and a guaranteed good meal," Chris commentated. "Will the Blazing Blue Pair start a winning streak? Or will the Glowing Green or Pyro Purple Pair claim victory?"

"Without anyone to physically get in my way, the answer seems obvious," Shadya articulated.

Hildegard's hands balled into fists.

"Don't let her get to you," Rhiannon pleaded.

"Am I permitted to take a walk away from the challenge?" Hildegard asked Chris.

"Mmm... Nah!" Chris grinned.

Hildegard made a thin line with her mouth.

"I'm not sure I can hold on much longer," Mark admitted through his teeth to Elmer.

"At least try to outlast the Green pair," Elmer urged.

"Do you doubt the Purple pair?" Mark asked.

"No, but I'd rather not do worse than Bunko and Wisdom," Elmer mumbled.

All the while, Bunko and Wisdom held on tightly to their marshmallow.

"We can do this, Wisdom!" Bunko vowed.

"How cool would it be to beat Shadya in a challenge?" Wisdom pondered aloud. "Wait, we've done that before, didn't we? On the day when The Best Team had to vote someone out?"

"If you're trying to psych me out and distract me from the task at hand, you are failing," Shadya stated.

"Why did you acknowledge it at all if it isn't making a difference?" Wisdom inquired.

"To rub the magnitude of your futility in your faces, thus turning the psyching out around onto you," Shadya explained.

"Is it working for you, Bunko?" Wisdom asked.

"Nope!" Bunko answered cheerily.

"Well damn, we're powerless to stop them," Ginger snarked. "Whatever will we do, Shadya?"  
All of a sudden, Mark let go of his marshmallow, sending him down to the ground and forcing Elmer along with him.

"Ugh, sorry," Mark groaned as the two stood up. "I did the best I could."

"Don't strain yourself!" Ginger warned Mark. "Giving up was absolutely the right thing to do."

"I mean, not straining yourself applies to humans as well, but I don't think we're allowed to tell her that," Virgil muttered to Nestor.

"We can always tell her after the challenge," Nestor replied.

"Only two pairs left!" Chris announced. "Who's going to win it? Glowing Green, or Pyro Purple?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Well, that was embarrassing. I know Mark's full of metal and everything, but surely he's no heavier than Bunko. N-Not that there's anything wrong with being a little on the heavier side. I mean, I'm dating Louise, so... Y-You know what, this confessional is canceled! _(He stands up, opens the booth, and walks off.)_ I never said anything! I was never called in to do one!

* * *

The Glowing Green and Pyro Purple Pairs gripped immovably to their respective giant marshmallow.

"They are determined, I'll give them that," Shadya commented.

"If they fall, they're going straight back to being at-risk," Ginger rationalized. "If I were them, I'd hold on for dear life, too."

"Surely they know how pointless of an endeavor it is to try to outlast me in any capacity," Shadya sneered.

"We've lasted this long, and we can last longer!" Bunko insisted. "Right, Wisdom?"

Wisdom looked to be struggling but managed to force a smile.

"The Green pair will only exhaust themselves," Hildegard muttered.

"You also need to keep in mind that the Purple pair isn't just Shadya," Elmer pointed out as he gestured his head at Ginger.

"That's right, Ginger can still fall and cost Purple the challenge," Rhiannon concurred.

"Honestly, knowing Top Banana, she might still be able to hold on if Gingersnap fell," Virgil remarked.

"Come on, she isn't _that_ strong," Nestor denied. "I don't care if she's got the world record for running up the Eiffel Tower backward while blindfolded and brushing her teeth, she's still a teenage girl."

"Is there a world record for that?" Mark wondered.

"She'd probably make one just to prove she could," Nestor chuckled.

Just then, one of the girls holding on for dear life lost her grip, sending her and her partner off of their marshmallow and to the ground.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"What the hell was that?!" Shadya snapped as she stood up and dusted herself off.

"I don't know!" Ginger responded defensively.

"Did... Did we just win?!" Wisdom gasped.

"We did! We did!" Bunko cheered.

"Congratulations, Glowing Green Pair!" Chris announced. "You two are today's winners!"

The marshmallow that Bunko and Wisdom had held onto lowered, allowing them to hop off safely.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I don't know what the hell happened there. I was holding on to the marshmallow, as one would, and all of a sudden, I guess my body just decided it had enough, without my permission! If anyone but the Green pair won that challenge, it wouldn't piss me off so much. Absolutely pathetic.

 **Bunko:** I can't believe we just did that! Holy cow! I can actually put the secret plan into action. _(She grins proudly.)_ That's right, I've got a secret plan. It's going to be so cool.

* * *

The pairs had their handcuffs removed. Bunko and Wisdom stood by Chris, while the other pairs stood across from them.

"The Glowing Green Pair has won the challenge, Invincibility, the right to send another pair at-risk instantly, and a banquet alongside another pair of their choosing," Chris recapped. "Have you two decided which pair to put at-risk?"

Bunko and Wisdom whispered amongst themselves. Wisdom seemed confused at first before Bunko further explained herself, at which point, Wisdom nodded in agreement.

"We choose the Blue pair!" Bunko declared.

"Ugh," Elmer shook his head in disapproval.

"I see," Mark replied simply.

"Alright, one the Blazing Blue Pair will be dueling tonight," Chris acknowledged. "Now, choose a pair to join you in the Tent of Banquets."

"May we also choose the Blazing Blue Pair to eat with us?" Wisdom asked Chris.

"Sure, if you want," Chris shrugged. "With all that decided, I'll see you guys later tonight for the follow-up vote and the duel."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Cool, the challenge is over, now I get to keep turning the others against each other. There's nothing to do on this damn island, I swear.

* * *

Bunko, Wisdom, Elmer, and Mark sat in the Tent of Banquets, where a large spread of food was laid out for them to take at their leisure.

"Quite the bittersweet return to this tent," Elmer observed. "I suppose you wish to explain to us just why exactly you put us at risk."

"Yeah, I... didn't expect you of all people to put me in danger, Bunko," Mark said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Especially when we've outright told you that we're not outright opposed to working with you," Elmer added, his brow furrowed. "Did all the other pairs just make better deals than we did?" He looked Bunko in the eye. "What happened to you constantly trying to get rid of Shadya?"

"That can still happen, no?" Wisdom answered.

"What do you mean?" Mark asked.

"What if the Purple pair were voted to be at-risk?" Wisdom explained. "If we were to just send Purple in, would any pair but yours put Shadya up to duel?"

"What the hell kind of logic is any of that?!" Elmer snapped. "First of all, you just assume that anyone is going to vote for the Purple pair, let alone the majority. Secondly, even if Purple was in, what makes you think we won't send Ginger in to duel instead? She's clearly an easier opponent to beat."

"I... might have told them about my connection with Ginger," Mark confessed. "I'm just tired of hiding who I am."

"Wha-?" Elmer shook his head in disbelief. "So let me get this straight." He looked at the Glowing Green Pair. "Your plan was to send the Blue pair at risk because, on the _off chance_ that we all vote for Purple, Mark would refuse to send Ginger to duel, meaning Shadya would have to duel. Then you just pray that whoever duels her - probably me - somehow manages to beat her."

"Yep!" Bunko confirmed. "Smart, huh?"

"Uh, you forgot one key factor here, kid," Elmer scowled. "Nobody's voting for the Purple pair. It's going to be an Orange pair vote."

"I'd rather not vote for the Orange pair," Mark admitted.

"Well, I'm not voting for Purple if it means I have to duel Shadya!" Elmer argued.

"So you're voting for the Yellow pair?" Wisdom asked. "That would be your only other option, right? Aren't you friends with both of them, Elmer?"

"I'm..." Elmer grunted.

"It would be a compromise," Mark told Elmer.

"Arrrrggghh!" Elmer shouted as he stood up and left the tent.

Bunko swallowed the food she'd had in her mouth. "These rainbow potatoes are delicious!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** Well that didn't turn out exactly how I'd hoped. Aw, I hope this all works out. I thought it was such a cool plan! People will be more likely to vote for the Purple pair than the Blue pair, so I still think it can work.

 **Wisdom:** So they're voting for the Orange pair, are they? Or at least, they _were_ , right? What's going to happen tonight? What will the others decide to do? Where will the whims of fate fall? Who can say for sure?

* * *

Hildegard and Shadya went off to hunt some food of their own.

"I trust that we are in agreement to vote for the Orange pair tonight?" Hildegard inquired.

"Absolutely," Shadya concurred. "I do not trust Virgil as much as you or Rhiannon, not to mention how annoying Nestor's been getting."

"I've spoken little with him, but I do not imagine us getting along so well," Hildegard responded. "My read on Virgil is limited."

"I guess Mark likes them, and Ginger wants us to keep Mark as close to us as we can, but there isn't much room for us to do that in light of the Green pair and Gretchen being safe tonight," Shadya figured.

"Truly an insidious twist on the game this pairs format is," Hildegard emoted.

"It makes no difference to me. I will be winning this game regardless of who goes home in what order," Shadya said.

"What if this pairs format forces your pair into being at risk?" Hildegard challenged.

"The other pair would presumably know better than to send me in to duel, knowing full well that I would win," Shadya said simply. "And even if they were foolish enough to choose me, then I would just win the duel. I am unstoppable. These are the plain and simple facts. I made this abundantly clear when I first set foot on the Dock of Shame back on Whenua Island when we were all getting to know each other. Why _anyone_ would vote against me is beyond me."

Shadya looked Hildegard dead in the eyes as she said that last sentence. Hildegard gulped.

"Knowest now that I've n-no reason to turn on thee," Hildegard promised.

"I won't lie, if I didn't trust Rhiannon so closely, there would be a very real chance of me voting for your pair," Shadya said. "You have voted against me more times than Virgil or even Nestor."

"I cannot apologize enough, Lady Shadya!" Hildegard panicked.

"Just see to it that it does not happen again," Shadya leered.

Hildegard nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Hildegard is incredibly lucky that I do not push for the Yellow pair to be at risk tonight. Betraying my trust is not something I accept lying down. However, I trust Rhiannon, and I know that Elmer does as well, and I do not want to alienate either of them. Hildegard _can_ be kept in line, though it is a hassle to do so. We will see what the future holds.

 **Hildegard:** Alack! Why must Lady Shadya be such a better leader than I?! Even if I make a power move to prove mine own authority, she finds a way to the top anyway! Am I doomed to be but a squire to her?!

* * *

Virgil found Elmer sitting on the edge of the Dock of Shame.

"Sounds like the food wasn't as good as yesterday's, huh?" Virgil quipped.

"I'm not in the mood, Virgil," Elmer said, unimpressed.

"You want to talk about it?" Virgil offered as he sat next to Elmer.

"The Green pair is on my last nerve right now," Elmer grunted. "And Mark is going along with them! They're more or less railroading me into voting for the Purple pair, which, Mark and Ginger won't vote for each other, so if it is us versus Purple, I'm going to be dueling Shadya!"

"I don't suppose you've heard anything _from_ the Purple pair? Or the Yellow pair, for that matter?" Virgil inquired.

"I think Ginger wants to send Yellow in, but I really trust Yellow," Elmer answered.

"So it sounds like you're either voting for Purple or you're voting for Orange," Virgil shrugged.

"And Mark is adamant that we don't vote for you guys," Elmer confirmed.

"I mean, if we're voting for Purple, I'm good with that," Virgil said. "Gingersnap is okay, but we aren't best friends or anything. And I don't know Top Banana all too well."

"I'm just in no rush to put my game at risk," Elmer sighed.

"So you'd rather just vote for me and Blueberry, then," Virgil surmised.

"I mean, no offense, but I know you two the least of everyone left in the game other than Gretchen," Elmer explained. "If I may be so bold, I'd wager that you and Nestor, knowing the Yellow pair the least of the vulnerable pairs, would vote for them. As a close ally of theirs, I am not offended. It's just the game."

"I mean, yeah, but just like you, I'd rather not be at any risk of going home," Virgil chuckled. "I'm not going to tell you how to vote, but if you're going to tell me to my face that you want to vote for me tonight, obviously I'm going to push against that. Damn shame, too. I'd hoped that Licorice's man would want to work with me more."

"Don't try to guilt me. It's not going to make me any more inclined to vote for Purple," Elmer leered.

"I'm just calling it how I see it," Virgil said as he stood up and left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Well that really fucking sucks. I mean, yeah, most of the pairs only have two options to vote for tonight, but being told to my face that I'm a target is pretty damn audacious for someone whose pair is guaranteed to partake in a duel tonight. Tch. At least let me put on some makeup before you decide to fuck me. _(He starts eating some chocolate-covered potato chips.)_

 **Elmer:** This goddamn game is stressing me out more than it has any right to. But I need to stay focused. I swore to win this game, not just for myself, but for Louise, who was unfairly taken out long before she had any right to go. Not-Not that she had any right to go at all! Ugh, you see?! I am just giving the worst confessionals today.

* * *

Gretchen plopped down next to Nestor in the shelter.

"So, you want to know who listened in on the discussion going on in the Tent of Banquets?" Gretchen snickered.

"Are you sure that's not going to get you in trouble?" Nestor asked dubiously.

"Come on, what happened to your sense of letting interesting things happen for entertainment value?" Gretchen pouted. "Besides, the protagonist can get away with bending the rules a little as long as she doesn't break them. Chris never said I couldn't, so if it is against the rules, that's on him for not making that clearer."

"I want to disagree with you, but I can't," Nestor said as he folded his arms. "What did you hear that was so important?"

"Well, Elmer claims that there's a push for Orange pair to get the votes tonight," Gretchen smirked. "Mark is hesitant, and the Green pair wants for them to vote for Purple."

"Honestly, I would not be even the slightest bit surprised if Shadya was pushing for me to go," Nestor groaned. "So what are you saying? That I should vote for Purple?"

"I mean, Shadya _is_ the ringleader of the Tough Tundras alliance, and Ginger _does_ have an ally with undying loyalty in Mark. Losing either of them wouldn't be the worst thing in the world," Gretchen told him. "Apparently, there's already a push against your pair. What do you have to lose by voting for them?"

"Hm. Looks like someone's taking good advantage of being technically in the game but unable to take action," Nestor noted.

"Honestly, I could just play the entire game like this and be satisfied," Gretchen said in faux-modestly.

"And miss out on getting to partake in real votes, real blindsides?" Nestor questioned. "Bitch, please. You would be complaining so hard about not getting to take an active part in any of the fun eliminations."

"Don't try to act like you know me. I haven't even brought up my tragic backstory of being bullied all my life yet!" Gretchen said indignantly.

"You just did," Nestor pointed out.

"Yeah, so why are you being so rude to a victim of bullying, huh?!" Gretchen asked dramatically. "The nerve of some people, I swear."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** There is a big ol' part of me that wants to just denounce everything that girl says and do whatever the hell I want, mostly because the idea of her having a point makes me want to commit sudoku. But damn it, she's probably right. I'm going to have to talk to Virgil about all this.

 **Gretchen:** Frankly, I don't care who goes, as long as it's no one from the Green pair, which it won't be. I know that whoever ends up as my new partner will depend on who loses tonight's duel, but I'm nothing if not a flexible and dynamic character. Actually, that's not true, I'm a whole lot of other things, too, but you know what I mean.

* * *

Mark and Rhiannon met up on a part of the beach that was far away from camp.

"Well, you'll be happy to know that Elmer was insistent that we don't vote for the Yellow pair tonight," Mark said.

"I didn't think he would, but can I take you telling me to mean that you don't want to, either?" Rhiannon asked.

"If Elmer and I are going to work together, then I'd rather we be on the same page," Mark stated. "When the Green pair called us in to eat with them, they told us that their ultimate goal is to get rid of Shadya and that they thought that my pair would be the only one who wouldn't send Ginger in to duel."

"So they just assume that we're all going to vote for Purple?" Rhiannon asked, bemused.

"Elmer was confused, too, but, with so few options, we're going to have to vote for _someone_ ," Mark said.

"Well, what about Orange?" Rhiannon suggested. "I wouldn't be surprised if they were campaigning to vote for Yellow. I'd appreciate it if you took my side on that one." She winked.

"I'd rather not vote for Orange. I trust them," Mark admitted. "I made this clear to Elmer. He won't vote for you. I won't vote for Orange. If Yellow and Blue both vote for Purple, then, no matter how Orange or Purple votes, we will tie at worst, and the only tie that could occur would be if Purple voted for Yellow, which I do not foresee."

"Man, you've really picked the game up quick for someone with no memory," Rhiannon complimented.

"About that..." Mark rubbed the back of his neck. "On the last island, I found out that apparently... well, you know how Ginger says she's got a fully functional robot prototype?"

"...You're joking," Rhiannon said.

Mark shook his head. "I've been kind of coming to terms with it, and I think the best thing for me to do is tell everyone. Just about everyone else already knows. I think Hildegard is the only one who still doesn't. And I'd like to tell her myself if you don't mind."

"I completely understand," Rhiannon smiled.

"You're right about one thing, though. I went into this knowing nothing about the game," Mark told her. "So to hear that I'm picking it up is a genuine compliment that I'll gladly take."

"Of course!" Rhiannon assured.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I'm still not entirely sure I believe that Mark is an actual robot. Maybe Ginger just told him that and he's latching onto it to try and make sense of his amnesia. Either way, I'm kind of wary of him. He does make a decent point about the votes, though. I'll need to hear from everyone else before coming to a decision, but it's something worth considering.

 **Mark:** I think... if the Purple pair does get voted in, that's the only way I can really guarantee my safety. Yellow would absolutely pick me to duel, and Orange... I trust Virgil, but I also know how game-savvy Nestor is, and I definitely don't trust Nestor as much as I trust Ginger and, to a lesser extent, Shadya. Any of these options is going to suck, so I want to go with the one that's going to suck the least.

* * *

The sun had begun to set, and most of the contestants were strewn about the island, talking to one another. Ginger and Shadya were alone by the fire, eating dinner.

"Ginger, you don't really care about sentimental matters, correct?" Shadya inquired.

"Not really," Ginger answered.

"...So if I were to get something off my chest, you wouldn't really pay attention?" Shadya confirmed.

"I'd probably try to for a few seconds and then space out without really meaning to," Ginger said honestly.

"Excellent. I don't want anyone to remember what I'm about to say," Shadya smiled.

"You probably shouldn't say it on a TV show, then," Ginger remarked.

"Nestor mentioned my dad earlier today," Shadya continued. "You remember, from the picture I received as a luxury item."

"Ah, we all miss our parents. I don't think any less of you for it," Ginger told her.

"It's not that," Shadya denied. "I've... never actually met my parents."

"What about your dad?" Ginger questioned.

"I was adopted by the man I call my dad," Shadya explained. "He never married and felt that it was too late in his life for him to find a wife, but he wanted a child, so he took me in as an infant. He didn't change the name my parents gave me, and he raised me as if I was his own."

"So what's the issue, then?" Ginger prodded.

"I've always been a talented girl. And my dad would always praise me whenever I did something remarkable. Which was and is incredibly often," Shadya preceded. "So you can imagine what a blow to my self-image it was when I heard that my biological parents saw me and thought that I was not worth keeping."

"I genuinely cannot imagine, because I've never been in a remotely similar situation, but go on," Ginger commented.

"I'm not sure if I'm trying to stick it to my parents or impress them. I'm not sure if I ever want to meet them," Shadya continued. "But I have and always will show to the world that I am the most talented and capable person in the world."

"I'll be honest. I'm sure this all makes sense in your head, but I don't really get it," Ginger said. "I'll try to forget it like you said."

"...See to it that you do," Shadya grunted angrily.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** My parentage is a touchy subject for me. Part of me didn't want to say anything, but I felt it best to say something about it so that it does not distract me from attaining victory. I absolutely wish Ginger wasn't so flippant about it, but I knew who I was speaking to when I spoke to her.

 **Ginger:** Damn, is she really that narcissistic that she actually resents her biological parents for not keeping her? I'm probably reading way too deep into it, but that's the only conclusion I was able to reach. As I said, I can't really relate to her plight.

* * *

Night had fallen, and several tiki torches were arranged in a large circle and lit not far from the shelter. Within the circle of torches were ten camp chairs - two of the five pair colors - also arranged in a circle, with the respective contestants seated in them. Chris stood in the very center.

"Contestants!" Chris began. "It's time for the moment of truth. Who will face the Blazing Blue Pair in tonight's duel?"

"Not me, bitches!" Gretchen called from a distance away.

"You're not a part of this!" Chris called back to her. "Stupid screen-hog. Anyway, you cannot vote for the Glowing Green or Blazing Blue Pair. The Glowing Green Pair will not vote unless we have a tie."

"Was that always the rule?" Wisdom asked.

"Unless there's a pair who didn't vote in the tie that can break it, the pair who won the challenge will break the tie," Chris established. "There would have been a voting pair to break the tie if a tie had happened last night. But that can't happen tonight."

"Sounds like something you should have said last night," Nestor jibed.

"I'd challenge you to do better, but one contestant actually took me up on that challenge, and now he gets to host a season with a VR machine!" Chris complained.

"What?! That sounds so cool! Why couldn't I have been on that season?!" Gretchen called.

"Can it!" Chris shouted back. "Anywayyyyyy." He paused to make sure there were no more interruptions. "Overheat Orange Pair, go cast your vote now."

Nestor and Virgil stood up and went towards the voting lectern.

* * *

After all four eligible pairs cast their votes, Chris had grabbed the urn full of votes and returned to the circle.

"The votes have been cast," Chris grinned. "Who are the lucky losers going to be? Let's find out, shall we? First vote..."

...

...

...

"Pyro Purple!"

The words 'Purple Pair' were written on the parchment, with each word in different handwriting.

"At this point, I'd be surprised if I didn't get votes against me," Shadya grumbled.

...

...

...

"Overheat Orange!" Chris continued.

The words 'Overheat Orange' were written with each word in different handwriting.

...

...

...

"The third and fourth votes are both for the same pair," Chris said. "And that pair is..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Pyro Purple!" Chris announced as he displayed the last two voting parchments, which were indeed for the Pyro Purple Pair.

Bunko and Nestor both gave a sigh of relief. Elmer shook his head in disapproval. Rhiannon fidgeted uncomfortably. Ginger and Shadya wore wide-eyed looks.

"What the hell?!" Ginger snapped.

"No matter how many cowardly shots in the back we may take, we will still emerge victoriously," Shadya said firmly.

"Now that our two competing pairs have been established, it's time for the individual selection," Chris said. "Blazing Blue and Pyro Purple, one at a time you will vote for who from the other pair you wish to compete in tonight's duel. Pyro Purple, head on up."

Ginger and Shadya walked up to the lectern.

* * *

Both pairs cast their votes, and Mark and Shadya held onto them.

"Alright, pairs..." Chris grinned. "Reveal!"

Mark and Shadya showed their votes. The Blazing Blue Pair voted for Shadya. The Pyro Purple Pair's vote was for Elmer.

"To think that Bunko was one of the very few to _not_ want me gone tonight." Shadya spat into the dirt.

"Believe me, I didn't want this," Elmer grunted. "Mark absolutely would not vote for Ginger."

"Elmer and Shadya. You two will be fighting for your lives in the game," Chris said. "Mark and Ginger, please stay where you are and watch the duel. The others can leave if they want to, but given last night, I'm going to assume nobody will."

"Why miss such an important moment in the game?" Virgil figured.

"Extremely fair point," Chris acknowledged. "Anyway, here's how tonight's duel is going to go."

Several interns appeared, each with several tiki torches. They began planting the torches into the ground in a widespread four-by-four array and lighting them.

"I'm sure you've played dots and boxes before," Chris figured. "But as a friendly reminder, you'll be taking turns linking the torches together with these!" Chris held up two rolls of party streamers: one blue and one purple. "When you complete a box by tying the fourth side of it, you get a point and will get to move again! We'll keep track of whose boxes are whose, don't you worry."

An intern with a drone controller walked up next to Chris and flew the camera-holding drone above the array of torches.

"Whoever wins this game of dots and boxes will earn their right to stay in the game!" Chris concluded.

"A game of wits and strategy, eh?" Elmer mused.

"How horribly embarrassing it must be to lose in the one field you claim to excel," Shadya commented.

"You'll find out firsthand," Elmer countered.

"How so? I excel in every field, not just this one," Shadya retorted.

"Ladies, please," Chris interrupted. "Do you both understand the duel?"

"Yes," both duelists said in unison.

"Alrighty! In that case, let's get this show on the road!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** I tried my ass off to change Mark's mind about sending Shadya in to duel, but he just was not having it. Probably some sort of failsafe Ginger programmed, to keep him from jeopardizing her game. I would complain about Chris allowing that, but then, I came into this game with someone close to me, too.

 **Shadya:** Elmer and Rhiannon both voted for me tonight. Hildegard, Nestor, and Virgil, I have never trusted much, and Mark will likely never vote for Ginger, but I had actually trusted those two. I cannot completely cut ties with everyone, but I should keep in mind that others are jealous of my accomplishments and will do anything to bring me down. I will not allow that.

* * *

"Okay, you two," Chris said to Elmer and Shadya. "Rock-paper-scissors to decide who goes first."

The duelists, with a silent understanding to go on three, shook their fists twice before Elmer threw out rock and Shadya threw out paper.

"Shadya gets to go first!" Chris announced.

"May I go second?" Shadya requested.

"Er, I mean... sure, if you want. You won the rock-paper-scissors," Chris allowed.

Elmer shot Shadya a brief glare as he walked up to the array of torches and tied the closest two of them together with his blue streamer.

Shadya moved to an adjacent side of the "square" of torches and tied the two torches in the middle together.

"Is there a strategy for this? Or are they tying torches together randomly?" Wisdom wondered.

"There must be some kind of strategy," Rhiannon figured. "But I wonder if either of them knows it."

"What, didn't Top Banana tell you about how she's won the dots and boxes world championship five years in a row?" Virgil quipped. "I hear she and her opponent threw hands in the finals of her fourth year."

Elmer walked within the array of torches and tied two of the middlemost torches together. Shadya responded by tying one of the torches she'd tied already to one of the middle torches.

"Are you sure that's the move you want to make?" Elmer challenged.

"Do you think I would have made it if I didn't know what I was doing?" Shadya challenged back.

"If you want to lose the game at final eleven because of a hasty job in a game of wits, then I'm certainly not going to stop you," Elmer said as he moved back outside the array and tied together two torches on the opposite side from where he began.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Elmer:** Chris said that, once you complete a box, you not only get a point but get to move again. In other words, you want to prevent your opponent from completing a box. That's why I'm spacing out the streamers: so that there's no way she can complete a box. If she wants to tie two streamers on the same torch right out of the gate, that's her choice, but it's going to be easier for me to potentially capitalize on it later on.

* * *

Shadya tied one of the torches Elmer had just tied to the torch on its other side.

"Looks like they've got two completely different strategies," Mark commented to Ginger. "Who do you think is going to win?"

"I mean, Shadya has a better track record," Ginger responded. "But then, I don't know jack about how this game works, so Elmer could surprise me."

Elmer went to the other corner of the array's side and tied it to the closest torch on the perpendicular side. Shadya smirked and made her way to the center of the array, tying two of the middle torches together.

"Have neither of them scored yet?" Hildegard asked. "Surely it cannot be so difficult."

"I think they're going out of their way to go as long as possible without scoring," Nestor deduced. "Of course, it also looks like they're running out of ways to tie their streamers so that nobody scores."

"It's getting boring," Bunko huffed. "Somebody score already."

Elmer moved back to the first two torches he tied together and prepared to tie one of them to the torch on its other side.

"Is that the move you want to make?" Shadya asked.

"As a matter of fact, it is," Elmer told her as he tied those torches together. "Don't act like you have any more of an idea of what you're doing than I do."

Shadya shrugged and tied one of the torches Elmer had just tied to the last torch next to it.

"Both contestants seem to be taking the slow and steady approach," Chris commentated. "Will it pay off for either of them in the end?"

"I think the more important matter at hand is that we're losing a wannabe protagonist for sure tonight," Gretchen said. "Good job, everyone."

"Gah! When did you get here?" Chris jumped.

"What, am I not allowed to watch the duel? Why the hell not?!" Gretchen shouted.

"Ugh, fine, you can watch it, but keep it down," Chris groaned as he picked his ear.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I have never played this game before, but it seems very easy to grasp. To avoid giving your opponent the chance to complete a box, you must make sure that you do not tie the third side of a potential box because then your opponent will be able to complete it. So far, so good, but it seems like Elmer's figured out that much as well. I must be very careful with the next few moves I make because there are very few ways to prevent such an occurrence as of now.

* * *

Elmer walked up to the first group of torches that Shadya had tied and tied one of them to its corner. Shadya began to chuckle.

"You're not going to psyche me out, Shadya," Elmer said. "I can and will win this duel."

"No, you will not," Shadya smiled as she shook her head. "In fact, with that move, you've just lost."

"Oh? Do tell," Elmer challenged.

Shadya went to the opposite side of where Elmer started the duel and tied together the last two torches.

"If you have not figured it out now, you will shortly," Shadya told him.

"You think she has it, or do you think she's bluffing?" Virgil asked Nestor.

"Honestly, I could see either one of those being the case," Nestor told him.

"She's not _that_ smart," Bunko denied. "There's no way she can say for sure that she's won just by Elmer making a certain move."

"You can do that in chess, right?" Wisdom figured. "Who's to say that can't apply here?"

Elmer looked at the array from every possible angle. His eyes went wide.

"You've figured it out, haven't you?" Shadya asked him. "There is nothing you can do to win."

"N-No. That isn't true," Elmer denied. He went back to the first set of torches he'd tied together and tied the corner to its perpendicular torch, tying the third side to a potential box.

"Given up already?" Shadya scoffed. She tied the final side to the box.

"That's one point for Shadya!" Chris announced. "She gets another move.

Shadya, upon realizing that she could not tie together another box with the current setup, went to the opposite corner of the array and tied its torch to its neighbor that had not already been tied to it.

"Can Elmer still do this?" Rhiannon gulped.

"I cannot imagine he'd offer her a chance to score if he had not a plan," Hildegard reasoned.

"You're giving him too much credit," Gretchen denied.

"I guess we'll have to see how he follows this up," Mark chimed in.

"Looks like he's about to make his move," Ginger noticed.

Elmer tied together the last two torches on the first side of the array. This created a third side to a potential box.

"Now do you see why I chose to go second?" Shadya taunted as she tied together the fourth side, which not only completed a box but created another third side.

"Oh, I knew why you wanted to go second," Elmer told her. "Going second in games like these is always preferable."

"Not only can it give insight into your opponent's strategy before they gain insight into yours..." Shadya began as she completed the new available box, which in turn created another available box. "But in this game, in particular, it grants you one fewer opportunity to tie three sides of a potential box."

"Which can be an absolute game-changer when there are fewer and fewer safe moves to make," Elmer acknowledged. "Such as in this duel."

"Which is why I was able to see at which point I had already won the duel," Shadya explained. "I saw a few moves ahead, and there was nothing you could have done with the setup we had established."

"Well, if I'm going to lose, it might as well be to the biggest threat in the game," Elmer grunted.

"Everyone will lose to me at some point," Shadya said as she tied together the final streamer. She had, in one fell swoop, tied together every potential box in the array.

"Well, I think it's obvious how this all turned out," Chris chuckled. "The winner of this duel, by a landslide, is Shadya!"

Elmer let out a loud, groaning shout.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Frankly, I'm not surprised Shadya won that duel at all. Elmer may be smart, but Shadya's programmed AIs that win games like the duel. There's no beating the mind of a programmer. _(She grins pridefully.)_

* * *

The contestants walked up to Elmer by the Dock of Shame before he took his leave.

"Well, you finally beat me," Elmer said to Bunko. "I don't know how, but you did it."

"Never underestimate the forces of good!" Bunko grinned.

"Whatever you say," Elmer said as his eyebrow twitched.

"Tell Licorice I say hi, alright?" Virgil asked as he gave Elmer a quick handshake-hug.

"Louise?" Elmer figured out. "Why do you call her that, again?"

"It made sense in my head," Virgil told him.

Rhiannon walked up to Elmer and gave him a tight hug, which he reciprocated, albeit not as tightly.

"Take care of yourself," Elmer told her.

"I'm sorry I was so weird with you earlier," Rhiannon apologized.

"You have nothing to apologize for. It was a heavy subject and I probably said something without realizing it," Elmer told her.

Rhiannon sniffled and let go of Elmer, forcing a smile as tears ran down her face.

"Hey, so I'm part of the Blue pair now, right?" Gretchen interrupted. "Does that mean Elmer has to give me his bandana?"

"Oh yeah, that's right!" Chris remembered. "Yeah, Elmer, if you would please give your bandana to Gretchen."

Elmer removed his bandana and tossed it to Gretchen without a word.

"Yes! Finally!" Gretchen immediately tied it over her head.

"Well, I guess I'd better leave," Elmer decided. "See you guys later, I guess."

Elmer walked down the Dock of Shame and stepped onto the Boat of Losers, which drove off as soon as he boarded.

"That's all I have for you tonight," Chris told the contestants. "Congrats on making the top ten, but only one of you will be number one. Don't slack."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I do not know who I can trust in this game anymore. I will have to establish who I can and cannot trust tomorrow, but I am worried that the 'cannot' list will be longer than the 'can' list. I will not back down, of course. I am human perfection. I do not lose.

 **Rhiannon:** Elmer was probably... no, definitely my closest and most trusted friend. It was always going to suck if he left, but this early? ...No, I can't think negatively. I have to remain positive! Negativity never gets anyone anywhere.

 **Gretchen:** So my partner is Mark now, huh? He was someone I wanted to get rid of, but I can't exactly be picky right now, can I? I know he's willing to work with the Green pair because he's friends with Bunko, so that works for me. I'll figure something out. I always do. _(She gives a cocky smirk.)_

 **Mark:** ...All according to plan. I would have been fine if Shadya left, too, but this way, Elmer can't keep forcing me to do things his way, and I can work with the Green and Orange pairs all I want. I have to admit, I was worried that Purple might not get voted in. It was a risk. But it was a risk that paid off.

* * *

Chris stood at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"The merge has just begun, and already big moves are being made!" Chris said. "How well will Gretchen and Mark work together? Will Rhiannon stay as positive as she's telling herself to be? Will Ginger continue to stay under the radar? And who will take control of the game? You'll have to find out, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

Overheat Orange: Pyro Purple

Yieldless Yellow: Pyro Purple

Glowing Green: Blazing Blue

Blazing Blue: Pyro Purple

Pyro Purple: Overheat Orange

* * *

 **Overheat Orange Pair:**

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Yieldless Yellow Pair:**

Hildegard - The Paladin

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

 **Glowing Green Pair:**

Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Blazing Blue Pair:**

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

Mark - The Amnesiac

 **Pyro Purple Pair:**

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: Elmer was always meant to be a big strategic force throughout the season, and I'd been toying with the idea of adding him and Louise to a season for a long_ _time, but in the end, I didn't quite enjoy writing for him or Louise as much as I wanted to. Elmer was originally going to make it to the endgame, but ultimately I felt he wasn't as interesting of a character as so much of the rest of the cast, and I don't think he was particularly popular with readers, either. I did make it a point to have his emotions be a factor in his story, such as declaring instant war on the Luscious Lollipops when Louise was voted out, and his genuine friendship with Rhiannon, so as to differentiate him from other strategic characters who eschew those kinds of things. However you felt about him, Elmer takes the L._


	17. Come On, I Have Ethics

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius. "In our last episode, Gretchen took full advantage of being in limbo and wasted no time trying to exploit potential cracks in Shadya's big alliance. Bunko and Wisdom, realizing that they were on the outs, took to speaking with other pairs in hopes that they might be able to form some kind of deal, with varying degrees of success. Ginger continued isolating herself to work on Mark's programming some more, while Rhiannon reached out to Ginger in order to get to know her better. Nestor got on Shadya's case about being so dull, and Virgil still hadn't figured out a sweets-related nickname for Elmer.

"The pair challenge saw the five pairs hanging onto some giant marshmallows for dear life. Knowing full well that they were screwed if they lost that challenge, the Glowing Green Pair actually managed to hold on the longest, forcing the big alliance to turn on each other in light of the upcoming vote. Hehaha. The Blazing Blue Pair were not only sent in instantly by the Glowing Green Pair but also invited to the Tent of Banquets, where they revealed their plan to force Shadya into a duel. Elmer wasn't too happy about it, but ultimately, his and Mark's differing priorities, with the aid of some networking, saw the Pyro Purple Pair dueling anyway.

"It was Elmer versus Shadya in a game of dots and boxes. Both contestants clearly had some idea of what they were doing, but, in the end, Shadya put her money where her mouth was, and Elmer was eliminated from the game. This left Gretchen as Elmer's replacement on the Blazing Blue Pair.

"Will the previous night's votes lead to any more conflict? Will any new alliances form? And who will be our next contestant to ride the dreaded Boat of Losers? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The morning after Elmer's elimination, Gretchen and Mark met up away from camp.

"So, how does it feel to be properly back in the game?" Mark asked.

"The only difference between yesterday and today is getting to compete in challenges," Gretchen stated.

"And the possibility of going home," Mark reminded her.

"Somehow that doesn't seem as likely," Gretchen said confidently. "Both of us are keen to work with the Green pair, right? And after the Purple pair voted for the Orange pair last night, roping in Orange to join us, even if just for tonight, is perfectly feasible."

"Perhaps, but keep in mind that the Purple pair can still win the challenge and send us in. Or hell, the Yellow pair might, too," Mark pointed out.

"Do you think Ginger would put her creation at risk so readily?" Gretchen challenged. "If anything, we're the closest to a third vote that the Purple pair has on their side."

"I mean, I, too, would like to keep Ginger safe if I can," Mark pointed out. "So putting Yellow up to risk is my top priority."

"That works for me. Hildegard can't stand me, so any chance of her leaving is preferable," Gretchen agreed.

"And who do we want up against them?" Mark brought up. "It's important to have a failsafe of sorts."

"Orange is probably going to be our best bet there," Gretchen answered. "Nestor and Virgil both definitely don't trust me."

"They trust me, but then, better them than Green or Purple," Mark figured.

"Exactly," Gretchen nodded. "You see, we've got this on lock. You'll make a fine deuteragonist for now."

"I thought Wisdom was your deuteragonist," Mark mentioned.

"I trust Wisdom fully, but she's less of a co-worker and more of an employee if you know what I'm saying," Gretchen explained.

"I... guess I do?" Mark rubbed the back of his neck.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Yesterday, I conspired with the Green pair to get Elmer and Shadya to duel, and somehow it worked. Now I've got Gretchen as a partner instead of Elmer, and somehow she's actually more agreeable than Elmer was. I'm actually pretty optimistic about these upcoming rounds. I feel like I can actually win this game!

 **Gretchen:** This entire game, I've been dealing with people who don't know what the hell they're doing, so having someone on my side who's literally programmed to be smart is a blessing and a half. I never would have thought that I'd get a robot sidekick, but it's such a great protagonist trope that I'm sure as hell not going to turn down.

* * *

Rhiannon found Shadya sitting alone at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"Hey there," Rhiannon greeted. "Have you been up here all morning?"

"I have been meditating," Shadya answered. "Last night did me no favors whatsoever. I came up here to ponder in solitude what I should do about it."

"Have you come up with anything?" Rhiannon asked. "Because I sure could use some ideas."

"You are relatively smart, Rhiannon," Shadya complimented. "Perhaps additional insight may help me come to a conclusion about what to do going forward."

"Sure. I'd be happy to help," Rhiannon smiled as she sat across from Shadya. She took both of Shadya's hands with her own and interlocked fingers with her.

"What are you doing?" Shadya asked flatly.

"Physical contact between people gets the chemicals in the brain going," Rhiannon explained.

"Arousal is not going to do me any favors," Shadya grunted. "Nor, I should add, are you going to arouse me in the first place."

"I'm not trying to arouse you sexually. More... intellectually?" Rhiannon offered.

Shadya sighed and closed her eyes. Rhiannon closed her eyes as well.

"I suppose that I should begin with a question for you," Shadya began. "Why did the Yieldless Yellow Pair vote for my pair last night?"

"...I didn't want to make my pair a target," Rhiannon admitted. "Mark told me that the Blue pair was dead set on voting for your pair, and there was always the chance that the Orange pair was going to as well. If we voted for Orange with you, it would tie, and the Green pair would have broken it to send you in, anyway."

"I understand your logic, but now Mark's confuses me," Shadya said. "Why would he be so adamant about putting Ginger at risk?"

"Do you no longer trust him?" Rhiannon inquired.

"That is what I have been meditating on," Shadya revealed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I'm going to stick with Shadya because she's my friend, and because I trust her. I hated having to vote for her last night, but that's going to be the unfortunate reality for most of this island, I feel like. I have a decent rapport with Ginger, too, so, as long as Hildegard doesn't start throwing rocks again, we should still be a tight alliance.

 **Shadya:** I have no reason not to trust Rhiannon. She is very open about her thoughts, for better or worse, so I think that, even if she wanted to lie to me, she couldn't. But what on Earth is Mark's deal? Perhaps Ginger has actually made use of that stupid machine she's always messing with and can read his memory. I must check in with her later.

* * *

Nestor found Hildegard at the Dock of Shame with a fishing rod.

"Catch anything?" Nestor asked.

"I've only yet begun," Hildegard responded quietly. "And do keep thy voice down. I wish not to instill fear unto our future meals."

"Calling them 'our future meals' probably isn't going to help with that," Nestor teased.

"Fish do not grasp the human language," Hildegard said dryly.

"Neither do some people," Nestor shrugged. "So, quite the vote last night, huh?"

"Truth be told, Elmer and I have had a rocky past. To watch him leave instills in me no sorrow," Hildegard responded.

"That's great and all, but we didn't vote for the Blue pair, did we?" Nestor asked slyly.

"I had absolute faith that Lady Shadya would win a duel if she were to partake of one," Hildegard leered. "And she hath proven me thoroughly correct."

"Maybe, but how is Shadya going to feel about you voting her out... twice now, is it?" Nestor teased.

"Provoke me not, Nestor!" Hildegard warned. "...Lady Rhiannon told me that you and the Blue pair were going to vote for the Purple pair. There would be no benefit to forcing a tie that would be broken to send the Purple pair in, anyway. Simple as that."

"Well, if you want to stick around for much longer, I recommend cutting your ties while you can," Nestor told her. "Virgil and I aren't too thrilled with her pair voting for mine, and I _know_ the Green pair won't work with them. "

"And the new Blue pair?" Hildegard challenged.

"Mark voted for them once before, and I know Gretchen isn't the biggest fan of Ginger or Shadya," Nestor figured. "Food for thought."

"A good knight does not betray her party, no matter how dire the circumstance," Hildegard glowered. "To insinuate that I may do otherwise is an insult of the highest degree! Away with thee, foul Nestor!"

"Does voting Shadya out twice now not count as betraying your party?" Nestor asked innocently. "Also, you're scaring the fish."

"Out upon it!" Hildegard cursed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Truth be told, I'm not entirely confident that the Blue pair will be as keen to ditch Shadya's grasp as Virgil and I are. Most of that is because Mark and Ginger are going to be inseparable, but that's still worth worrying about. Hildegard clearly has issues with Shadya, so if I can convince her to take our side over hers, that could be big.

 **Hildegard:** Though I'd only ever known him from afar, I have never cared for Nestor. He has always struck me as exactly as smug and condescending as he turns out to be! Working with him is unlikely at my most generous!

* * *

Bunko and Virgil had been wandering around the island.

"So, wait, you've _never_ had matcha Kit-Kats?!" Bunko gasped.

"My mom's store has a lot of things, but international sweets aren't a priority of hers," Virgil admitted. "I've picked up lemon Kit-Kats at some other store once, but I've never seen matcha-flavored."

"My parents made sure that, wherever they lived, there would be a Japanese store nearby," Bunko explained. "I know they aren't sweets necessarily, but tell me you've at least had shrimp chips!"

"Nope, can't say I have," Virgil told her. "I'll be honest, I'm not sure those sound all that good."

"Oh, no, trust me, they're the best!" Bunko insisted.

"So, hey, not to interrupt the sweet talk, but I've got to make sure you know that Blueberry and I are keen to work with you and... Strawberry to a lesser extent," Virgil brought up.

"Awesome!" Bunko cheered. "I actually really like talking to you, so I'm so glad you want to work together."

"Likewise, to be honest," Virgil smirked. "You and Blueberry are easily the most fun people out here. Why, if we got another pair on our side, that would put us in the majority."

"You like Mark, and I like Mark, but then there's also Gretchen," Bunko pondered.

"Gretchen and I are not friends, but then, Strawberry and I aren't friends either," Virgil figured. "Those two are going to want to work together, anyway, so that could ironically keep them more loyal to us."

"I can tell it's serious with Gretchen because you don't have a nickname for her," Bunko nodded solemnly.

"She lost her privilege," Virgil said as he began snacking on some chocolate-covered raisins. "But I'd rather work with the devil I know than the devil I don't, you dig?"

"Yeah! The Yellow and Purple pairs are not trustworthy at all!" Bunko reinforced.

"Then let's do something about it," Virgil smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I actually have a surprisingly good feeling about this alliance. Obviously, I don't trust Gretchen or Strawberry as far as I can throw them, but frankly, I don't see much benefit to them if they did try to betray this potential alliance, given that their partners are both friends of mine. We'll see where tonight goes.

 **Bunko:** After losing a bunch of my friends on the last island, after all the poor living conditions, after not knowing who I can trust, everything that's happened since the shuffle has been a godsend! _(She holds up a caricature of herself wearing a big grin.)_

* * *

Wisdom sat next to Ginger, who had been working on her device in the shelter.

"To answer your inevitable questions..." Ginger began. "I am working on additional code for Mark. It is going slowly because I also have to focus on the game. Working with you is highly unlikely because your partner desperately wants my partner gone."

"You really do not wish to speak with me, do you?" Wisdom frowned.

"I have little patience for interruptions," Ginger dismissed. "It has nothing to do with you specifically."

"If you have so much work to do, why are you here?" Wisdom wondered. "Would it not be more prudent to stay home and finish up what you have to before coming out here with Mark?"

"I'm not getting any younger over here," Ginger winced. "It won't be long before I'd be too old for Total Drama. I'm never really going to be _finished_ with Mark, so I figured now was as good a time as any to run the experiment."

"Would you say it's been a success thus far?" Wisdom asked curiously.

"Well, last night he made a move independent of what would benefit me, so he's clearly got some sense of autonomy," Ginger thought aloud. "Which is wonderful for the experiment but not so good for me. I'm not just here to monitor his progress, but to win the cash prize. Imagine the advancements I could make with a higher budget." Ginger grinned ear-to-ear.

Wisdom thought about it. "Could you someday be responsible for the ability to upload human consciousness into a computer for its preservation?"

Ginger began laughing. "I'm not _that_ insane. I actually prefer the idea of humans and robots living in harmony over just having robots. What about you? Why are _you_ here?"

"Why not?" Wisdom shrugged. "It seemed like something fun to do, you know?"

"So you have no stakes in this whatsoever. Got it," Ginger snickered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Ugh, everyone always wants to talk to me, and I keep telling them to bug off, but I just can't help bragging about how I'm going to define the future, can I? Wisdom did remind me of a good point, though: Mark's pair voted for my pair last night. Obviously, he didn't send me to duel, but still, where on Earth did that come from? I still haven't combed through his memory archives, yet. I should probably do that.

 **Wisdom:** I have made it clear in the past that I am not averse to working with Shadya, right? I voted out Jeremy alongside her, didn't I? Bunko may not want to work with the Purple pair, but who's to say I can't get along with them? It could do me some good in the long run, couldn't it?

* * *

Virgil met up with Mark somewhere away from camp.

"So, like, what's the status with you and Gingersnap?" Virgil asked. "I know y'all two are close, but you also voted for her pair last night."

"...I want to keep Ginger safe, but I also want to work with the Orange and Green pairs," Mark answered. "Obviously, more than one pair is going to be at risk on any given night, but do know that I don't want you to be in danger."

"See, that is going to be difficult," Virgil acknowledged. "Because Marble Soda and I are kind of relying on you right now."

"I know," Mark nodded. "Trust me, I'm not the biggest fan of my position. But at least I can control what direction I want to take."

"Voting for Gingersnap's pair last night was a power move," Virgil pointed out. "You have already voted for her once before, and she's going to remember that. So is Top Banana."

"That is true," Mark conceded. "I just... I don't want Ginger to go home. I feel safer with her here."

"Is that something she programmed you to feel?" Virgil questioned.

"Even if that were the case, it's still how I feel," Mark frowned. "My feelings _are_ valid, regardless of what you, or Roxie, or anyone says!"

"Damn, didn't realize I'd touched a nerve," Virgil winced. "I mean, I can't tell you how to feel or what moves to make, but you just said that the Yellow pair is the one pair you don't really trust, right? I know they're close with the Purple pair. I don't think it makes a whole lot of sense to side with the Purple pair over Orange and Green."

Mark sighed. "Can we talk about literally anything else right now?"

"Do you have any plans for after the game?" Virgil asked.

"I... don't even know that much about where I'm going after the game," Mark admitted. "Ginger hasn't told me a whole lot about her home life, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to live a life separate from her."

"That's her goal, right? For you to be able to be your own person?" Virgil pointed out. "You'll figure something out. You're smart."

"I appreciate that," Mark smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** I guess I thought so much about _how_ to put my plan into action that I didn't really consider what might come after. Putting the Yellow pair at risk is the most ideal move for me going forward, but I have people that I trust in every other pair. Gretchen said she doesn't trust either of the Orange pair, but... I just don't know.

 **Virgil:** Mystery Pop having Gretchen in his pair concerns me a great deal. Obviously, Gretchen and I have a past, and Blueberry and her have a past, too. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if she tried throwing us under the bus to Mystery Pop. It might be good for _her_ game, but it's not good for _his_ game. I need him to realize that.

* * *

Gretchen and Wisdom sat by the fire with each other.

"Have you spoken with Mark about our pairs working together?" Wisdom inquired.

"I have, and he's in," Gretchen said proudly. "Full disclosure: we might still need to work with Purple."

"How come?" Wisdom asked. "Not that I'm averse to it, but why?"

"Well, he doesn't trust Yellow at all, and I don't trust Orange at all," Gretchen explained. "And he at least trusts Ginger."

"I imagine we won't be telling Bunko about this, right?" Wisdom figured. "So how are we going to go about this? We can't really make moves against Orange or Yellow without her questioning it, you know?"

"We don't need to frame it like we're saving Purple, we need to frame it like Orange and Yellow are bigger priorities," Gretchen said savvily.

"She has expressed distrust for the Yellow pair in the past, but she gets along with the Orange pair, right?" Wisdom brought up.

"Well, we only need to cast one vote," Gretchen figured. "Let's focus on the Yellow angle for now."

"...If Shadya were to lose her closest ally, might it discourage her and throw her off her game?" Wisdom mused. "If we mentioned this to Bunko, could she see Rhiannon or Hildegard as viable targets?"

"Now we're cooking!" Gretchen clapped. "Shadya's proven before that she can easily win duels, but if we keep forcing Shadya lower and lower on the food pole, that could make all the psychological difference."

"...Did you just say 'food pole'?" Wisdom asked as she cocked her head to the side.

"No! Shut up!" Gretchen shrilled. "Anyway, you should talk to Bunko about this whole 'psyching Shadya out' thing. Even if I am the protagonist, she probably doesn't quite understand that yet, so you, as her partner, probably have more of her trust."

"Who can be sure with Bunko?" Wisdom responded. "She's told me at least twice that I'm dead to her, you know?"

"Dean was dead to me like seven times before we even had our first shuffle. You'll be fine," Gretchen handwaved.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Who would have thought that possibly my biggest obstacle in this round is my partner herself? Bunko is very... set in her ways, so how can we change those ways, even temporarily? Gretchen and I may be onto something, but things that look good on paper might not work in practice, right? Who knows?

 **Gretchen:** If all goes according to plan, then one of my jealous rivals will be going down tonight. Or Rhiannon, who's always just been kind of a joke character that's stuck around out of obligation. Either way, more room for me to shine like the star I am! _(She folds her arms proudly.)_

* * *

Shadya met up with Ginger on a different part of the island.

"So, how'd the meditation go?" Ginger asked semi-interestedly.

"Try though I might, my mind couldn't stop wandering back to the same subject," Shadya tsked. "Why would Mark be so adamant about voting for our pair?"

"I'm curious about that as well," Ginger admitted. "Obviously, I encourage him to think for himself in order to become more 'human', so to speak, but I don't understand _why_ he would do it."

"I can only imagine someone from the Green or Orange pair got to him," Shadya figured. "I can't think of any other possibility."

"Well, Bunko's been trying to get you out basically since the start of Kairi Island, right?" Ginger brought up.

"And he is, of note, friends with Bunko, ever since the start of Whenua Island..." Shadya thought aloud. "Are you sure you cannot alter his priorities?"

"Come on, I have ethics," Ginger grimaced. "Besides, doing so would defeat the purpose of my experiment. I'm not a fan of our position right now, either, but I would rather lose this game than sully the data."

"Is that all this is to you? Just another experiment?" Shadya spat.

"No, this is a pretty damn _huge_ experiment that I'm not going to put at risk!" Ginger growled. "I know you're trying to flex on your parents, and that's important to you, but I'm trying to change the world, over here. That's a little more important."

Shadya got directly into Ginger's face. "If you speak of that ever again, I will do everything in my power to make sure that you and Mark leave this game. Am I understood?"

"You don't have much in your power right now. That's the problem," Ginger scowled. "Now let's think of a way to get Orange and Green both at risk."

Shadya backed up and glared at Ginger.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Quantifiably speaking, my endeavors in this game will change the lives of millions, if not billions of people worldwide. Shadya's only in this for her own personal gain. So I do not see anything incorrect about what I said to her. If she refuses to accept that, that is her own fault.

 **Shadya:** I will not get emotional. I will not get emotional. I will not get emotional. If I have to purge Ginger from this game in order to prevent myself from getting emotional, I will do so. I eliminated Jeremy for that very reason. I don't need them. I am human perfection! I can win this game all on my own!

* * *

Bunko and Nestor ate lunch together.

"So, hey, has your blog ever needed any kind of art assets?" Bunko asked.

Nestor belly-laughed. "Damn, girl, at least take me out to dinner first! Honestly, though, if you wanted me to commission some stuff from you, I'll do it."

"Commission?" Bunko asked.

"You know, when people pay you to draw whatever they want you to?" Nestor clarified. "Don't tell me you aren't doing commissions!"

"I don't draw caricatures to get paid, I do it because it's fun," Bunko said.

"But you _could_ be making so much money!" Nestor grinned. " _Especially_ now that you've been on Total Drama. Folks will be lining up to get their caricature done by Miss Bunko Itami."

"That sounds like selling out," Bunko pouted.

"Not at all. You can still set boundaries on what you will or won't draw, or how many commissions you'll sell." Nestor explained. "It's a totally normal and common thing, I promise."

"That doesn't sound like it's for me," Bunko said as she shook her head. "I was offering to draw stuff for you for free because you're my friend."

"See, then I'd just feel bad that you're giving me such good drawings without me giving you anything in return," Nestor argued.

"Hmm..." Bunko thought about it. "Make the very first Shuffle Party blog post all about yours truly!"

Nestor belly-laughed once again. "I can do that. You're one shrewd mama, Bunko. I like that."

"I like to think I'm nicer than 'shrewd'," Bunko frowned. "I wasn't trying to manipulate you!"

"I didn't think you were. Calm your tits, hon," Nestor chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** I don't think I'm ever going to completely understand how Bunko's mind works, but that's fine with me. It's going to keep her entertaining, at least for me. And I definitely think I can trust her, make no mistake about that.

 **Bunko:** My parents only let me spend about an hour per day on the internet, so I don't know as much about what kind of things are normal there as Nestor does. From everything he's told me, I don't think it's really for me, anyway. But I'm still happy to help his blog out because he's my friend!

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon went scavenging for food.

"The lack of wild game on this island shan't fail to infuriate me," Hildegard grumbled. "Naught but root vegetables and the occasional fish."

"It's definitely gotten harder as time has passed... which is usually the case for me, just in a different way," Rhiannon joked wearily.

"I thought thou were to cease such lowbrow wisecracks," Hildegard huffed.

"I said I'd _try_ to cut it out," Rhiannon leered. She sighed. "I don't know. I'm just trying to keep a smile on after last night."

"Thou were close with Sir Elmer, yes?" Hildegard acknowledged. "Thou should use thy pain to drive thee! Such as I did when little Tegan was woefully pried from me! Here I stand in spite of it!"

"You weren't exactly as close to Tegan as I was to Elmer," Rhiannon winced.

"...Do tell me thou hast developed no feelings of desire for him," Hildegard gasped. "I need not tell thee that he is currently situated with a woman."

"No, you don't!" Rhiannon snapped. She cleared her throat. "Hildegard, I'm so sorry."

"I'd thought that thou were here to prove thy own freedom as a woman," Hildegard spat. "Thou needest not apologize for thy own feelings."

"I'm here to shed a positive light on women in my field," Rhiannon corrected.

"And feeling thou art out of line for expressing thyself honestly is shedding positive light?" Hildegard doubted. "Why't seems to me that thou art only reinforcing the stereotype that those who lie around for money are not people, but objects for the pleasure of others."

"That... That is _not_ true!" Rhiannon objected. "I have made so many moves in this game of my own volition. Remember the Kun vote? That might not have happened if not for me. And the Dean blindside?"

"Both of which were my idea!" Hildegard pointed out. "Ugh! Mine ideas truly are ignored! I will end this conversation now. Best not get upset, correct?"

Hildegard walked off. Rhiannon angrily stifled tears.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** If Lady Rhiannon is upset, she should not be private with it. Acting as a coy courtesan all the time is naught but bottling her own feelings, and to do so is destructive to thine own mental health. She ought to heed my heraldings, lest she break down under the weight of her own negative thoughts.

 **Rhiannon:** I... Well, there's a reason that Hildegard was never my first pick for having real talk. I'll own up to claiming her ideas back there, but the rest... she just doesn't know what she's talking about. I can't dwell on this, though. I need to stay positive. Friction between me and my partner is the last thing I need right now.

* * *

The contestants met up with Chris at a barren part of the island. Five tables - one of each pair color - were set up behind him.

"How's it been, final ten?" Chris greeted. "It's time for another pair challenge!"

"Oh, is that why we're here?" Nestor asked. "I thought you were taking us out for ice cream."

"Ice cream?! I want ice cream!" Bunko cheered excitedly.

"There's no ice cream, Bunko!" Chris called, annoyed.

"Nestor said there was ice cream," Bunko frowned.

"He was joking," Chris said flatly.

Interns showed up and cuffed the pairs together by their wrists.

"Anywayyyyy, here's today's deal," Chris continued. "Around the beach, we've set up four stations that have color-coded bags of puzzle pieces. It's up to you to get your bags of puzzle pieces and use those pieces to put together a puzzle. The first pair to correctly put together the puzzle will win the challenge! Understood?"

"So, just to be clear... there's no ice cream," Virgil made sure.

"Why would I have ice cream?!" Chris snapped. "Ugh. Any _challenge_ -related questions?"

"Will the Tent of Banquets have ice cream?" Gretchen requested.

"Maybe! I don't know! God!" Chris raged. "The challenge starts now!"

The contestants all ran for a puzzle piece bag station.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** A combined physical and mental challenge? Child's play. I excel in both running and puzzle-solving, and Ginger isn't terrible at those things either. This will be how I regain my power.

 **Wisdom:** With such a barren island, there isn't much to do for challenges, is there? But hey, my pair won the last challenge, didn't we? Who's to say we can't keep winning challenges? Maybe we might even start running the game? Wouldn't that be neat? _(She smiles.)_

 **Rhiannon:** A challenge should be a good way to take my mind off of the things that are bothering me. I can talk things out with Hildegard after the wounds of what she said to me aren't fresh. For now, I need to focus on winning this game.

* * *

The Overheat Orange and Pyro Purple Pairs both ran for the same station to the northwest.

"Damn shame it had to come to this, eh Gingersnap," Virgil commented.

"Nothing personal. Simply the game," Shadya stated as her pair started to get a lead.

"I thought we were rivals, damn it!" Nestor dramatized.

"Nobody is qualified to be my rival!" Shadya insisted right before they were out of the Overheat Orange Pair's earshot.

"Did he actually think you were rivals?" Ginger asked in disbelief.

"Does it matter?" Shadya asked.

"Well, I'd like to know if I can laugh at him for it," Ginger figured.

"Since when do you need an excuse to laugh at Nestor?" Shadya smirked.

"Heh. True," Ginger snickered.

"Since when does Total Drama involve all this _running_?" Nestor whined.

"Since always, last I checked," Virgil answered. "You telling me you didn't hit the gym before you came out here?"

"Did you?" Nestor asked in disbelief.

"I'm jacked up on sugar more often than I'm not. Speed isn't going to be an issue for me, dig?" Virgil boasted.

Nestor made a thin line with his mouth and returned focus to the upcoming station.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** _(He is stuffing his face with gummies)_ It pays to come prepared.

* * *

The Glowing Green and Blazing Blue Pairs, having already claimed a bag each, ran for the northeast station.

"May the best pair win, guys!" Bunko chirped.

"We will," Gretchen smiled.

"As long as it isn't the Yellow pair, we should be good, I think," Mark commented.

"Ooh, do you think we should sabotage the Yellow pair?" Gretchen suggested.

"What?! That's evil!" Bunko gasped.

"Let's just focus on winning," Mark figured.

"What greater sabotage is there than by defeating your opponent through sheer skill?" Wisdom mused.

"Stealing one of their puzzle piece bags? I dunno," Gretchen figured.

"Do you want to face an angry Hildegard?" Wisdom warned.

"Ugh, you're right, that would be annoying," Gretchen conceded.

"And morally awful!" Bunko chimed in.

"I'm a morally grey protagonist," Gretchen said simply.

"A what?" Bunko asked, confused.

"I'll explain later," Mark assuaged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Will someone like Bunko, who is so firm in her beliefs of right and wrong, get along with Gretchen, who generally disregards such ideas? Should I be worried about this potential alliance? Will Mark be able to help me keep things together?

* * *

With two bags each, the Overheat Orange and Yieldless Yellow Pairs ran for the southwest station.

"I am going to slay this puzzle in an instant... if I don't pass out from exhaustion first," Nestor panted.

"You'll be fine," Virgil said nonchalantly.

"But wouldst thou be so fine after thou fallest to the almighty lance of Lady Hildegard?!" Hildegard boasted.

"That might be a little difficult when you aren't currently holding it, but I've seen stranger things happen," Virgil quipped.

"I think she meant metaphorically," Rhiannon pointed out.

"Speak not on my behalf, Rhiannon!" Hildegard objected.

"Wait, I'm not Lady Rhiannon anymore?!" Rhiannon gasped, hurt.

Nestor and Virgil shared a knowing glance.

"I guess she just doesn't respect you as much as she used to," Virgil smirked.

"Art thy ears filled with confectionary?! I would not have anyone claim to speak for me!" Hildegard snapped.

"I think Hildegard's mad at you, Virgil," Nestor added.

"They're... just trying to get to you. Don't let them," Rhiannon told her partner.

"Do not tell me what to do!" Hildegard snapped.

Rhiannon let a forceful breath through her nose.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Pissing Hildegard off like that not only makes for great TV - you're welcome, loyal fans - but it'll throw her off her game, as well. Kind of like I've done to Gretchen in the past, now that I think about it. Whatever helps keep them vulnerable.

* * *

After the Yieldless Yellow Pair grabbed their bag, they went for the southeast station, where the Pyro Purple Pair approached.

"You guys seem cheerful," Ginger remarked.

"Ginger, I'm really not in the mood," Rhiannon grimaced.

"That's a first," Ginger murmured to Shadya.

"Your comment was humorous," Shadya acknowledged.

"We shalt focus our efforts on prevailing in this challenge, not bringing one another down!" Hildegard declared.

"I agree. Whatever is upsetting them is none of our business," Shadya nodded.

Rhiannon began quietly crying.

"...Why is she crying?" Shadya asked Ginger quietly.

"Maybe they're tears of joy at the prospect of her vulnerabilities not being pried upon," Ginger figured.

"I see. You are welcome, Rhiannon," Shadya said with a small smile.

Rhiannon stopped running and wept harder, burying her face in her hands.

"Lady Rhiannon! What art thou doing?!" Hildegard cried as the Pyro Purple Pair ran ahead.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I hate it! I hate being upset, and I hate that being upset is burdening all my friends on top of burdening me, and I hate that that's just making me more upset! This always happens! Why do I let this happen to me?!

* * *

The Pyro Purple Pair were the first pair to return to the colored tables with their bag of puzzle pieces. The Blazing Blue Pair were not far behind, having just arrived as soon as the Pyro Purple Pair emptied the contents of their bags onto the table.

"We can still do this!" Gretchen insisted as she and Mark began opening their bags of puzzle pieces and emptying those onto their table.

"Have they forgotten who they are up against?" Shadya scoffed.

"Focus," Ginger reminded her as she began holding some pieces next to each other to see if they went with each other. "Remind everyone how much better you are than they are by winning the challenge."

"You are right," Shadya sighed as she began sifting through the puzzle pieces.

The Yieldless Yellow Pair were the next to arrive and began emptying their bags onto their table.

"We are not out of this yet, Rhiannon!" Hildegard maintained.

Rhiannon silently began sifting through the puzzle pieces.

"Why do we have to be handcuffed together?" Mark bemoaned as Gretchen used both her hands to put the puzzle together. "It's just going to render one of us effectively one-handed."

"That's what makes it a challenge," Gretchen pointed out.

The Overheat Orange and Glowing Green Pairs arrived at their tables by the time the Yieldless Yellow Pair had already begun working on their puzzle.

"Alright, let us get a move on!" Nestor said urgently as he and Virgil began emptying their bags. "I am no slouch when it comes to puzzles."

"If we can win yesterday, we can win today!" Bunko declared passionately as she and Wisdom emptied their bags.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** The puzzle clearly makes out some kind of picture, but there are so many pieces that figuring out where to start is tough. Gretchen took charge of actually putting it together, so the best I could really do was try to find the pieces she needed.

 **Ginger:** Trying to solve a puzzle, to the surprise of no one, is a lot harder to do after running back and forth across the entire island. I need to concentrate on not passing out, not putting puzzle pieces together!

* * *

"It looks like things are close, out here!" Chris commentated as he paced back and forth in front of the five tables. "Some pairs are closer than others to completion, but one of them _will_ take it in the end!"

The five pairs each had one person taking control of putting the pieces together on the table and the other person searching for more pieces that would fit in with what was already put together.

"Chris!" one contestant finally called.

Chris looked at the completed puzzle of the person who had called out. The puzzle now showcased a stylized skull and crossbones made of fire and torches.

...

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"Pyro Purple has it! The Pyro Purple Pair win the challenge!" Chris announced.

"I need about a gallon of water," Ginger groaned.

"You may drink as much as you wish in the Tent of Banquets," Shadya smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** My pair is safe for one more day, and we get to send one of our enemies' pairs to duel. This is excellent, because, had we lost this challenge, there would be a very real chance of my pair facing off against Yellow: a lose-lose situation. I mean every word when I say I am the best. I will not allow such a circumstance to transpire.

 **Bunko:** Dang it! We could have won, too, if we weren't so slow at running. Curse these short legs of mine!

* * *

The pairs had had their handcuffs removed, and Ginger and Shadya stood by Chris, facing the rest of the contestants.

"Congrats on another win, Pyro Purple Pair!" Chris grinned. "You two will be safe in tonight's vote, plus you get to pick one pair to instantly be at-risk. Who's it going to be?"

Ginger and Shadya began whispering among themselves. They seemed to be having discourse between each other until they eventually reached a consensus.

"We will put the Glowing Green Pair at risk," Shadya stated.

"That's right," Ginger confirmed.

"At least they had to deliberate over it, right?" Wisdom figured with an awkward smile.

"Yeah, but one of us is still going to have to duel," Bunko frowned.

"Don't remind me, please?" Wisdom gulped anxiously.

"And, Pyro Purple, please pick one pair to join you in the Tent of Banquets tonight," Chris continued.

Ginger and Shadya whispered between themselves once again. This decision didn't take as long for them to reach.

"The Blazing Blue Pair," Ginger decided.

"Indeed," Shadya confirmed.

"Nice!" Gretchen beamed with stars in her eyes.

"Cool. Now that that's all squared away, I'll see you guys later tonight for the vote and duel!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I'm not going to lie, I was kind of hoping that they'd pick my pair to eat with them. I know they want to talk strategy with the Blue pair, but it still hurts, you know? Maybe it's just because I'm already upset. I know it's a petty thing to get upset about. Ugh, today has not been my day.

* * *

Ginger, Gretchen, Mark, and Shadya took their seats in the Tent of Banquets and began to dine.

"Finally I get my rightful place at the table," Gretchen said, satisfied.

"I imagine you two had a good reason to choose us, knowing that I don't actually need to eat," Mark brought up.

"Of course," Shadya nodded. "Ginger and I both want to work with you, but neither of us really know where your head is at the moment."

"Especially after voting for our pair last night," Ginger added. "What the hell was that?"

Mark sighed. "Look, I was getting a lot of pressure from Orange and Green. I knew that you were going to win the duel no matter who you were up against, Shadya, and I knew that you would try to prevent me from dueling, Ginger."

"And yet now we've lost an ally in Elmer," Shadya leered.

"And gained an ally in me," Gretchen piped up. "Which, believe me, I'm so much better to work with than Elmer. I actually have a personality."

"Well, I suppose I should ask: what would be ideal for you two tonight?" Mark asked the Pyro Purple Pair.

"If Orange were to duel, naturally," Shadya answered.

"Yeah, I hate to say it, but I don't think I can trust them anymore," Ginger agreed. "It shouldn't be hard to get Yellow on board. You'd just need Green."

"I've been allies with Wisdom forever. I'll see what I can do about that," Gretchen boasted.

"Bunko is friendly with both of the Orange pair, though," Mark pointed out. "I'll try to talk to her."

"This could set the course for the rest of the game," Shadya hypothesized. "Let us set it in our favor."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Obviously, I'm worried that the Blue pair having connections with the Green pair could lead to them simply siding with whatever plan the Green pair already has. I'd be foolish not to, especially with how suspicious Mark has been as of late. But the Blue pair are the only hope of the Purple and Yellow pairs having of any sort of majority. It's... the best chance I have.

 **Ginger:** At the very least, one of our enemies _will_ be dueling tonight, since we put the Green pair at risk. I'd be great if we could get two of our enemies in there, but whether or not that happens is beyond our control. We just need to trust the others. Which I hate, by the way! You can't trust anyone in this game!

* * *

Bunko and Virgil sat on the Dock of Shame, fishing for food.

"So, between Blue and Yellow, I think the choice seems pretty obvious," Virgil pointed out.

"I don't really like Gretchen, but I do like Mark..." Bunko thought aloud.

"Basically," Virgil agreed. "As much as I hate voting to keep Gretchen around, she's more trustworthy than Spearmint or Cherry Pie are going to be."

"Do you think Wisdom or I could beat either of them in a duel?" Bunko asked.

"Hey, you and Strawberry have both won duels before," Virgil pointed out. "Besides, just because Spearmint wears armor and Cherry Pie has long legs doesn't mean either of them is particularly athletic. I wouldn't count either of you out."

"That's true!" Bunko realized. She gave a cat-like smile. "So, you've noticed Rhiannon's legs, huh?"

"You haven't?" Virgil asked in disbelief.

"I focus more on people's faces than their bodies. It comes with being a caricaturist," Bunko explained.

"Fair enough," Virgil figured. "So, how many people did you get to draw caricatures for?"

"Most of them, actually!" Bunko enthused. "I'm still missing a few people who were voted out before I could draw them, but I'm sure I'll get around to them someday."

"If you don't get voted out, then probably after the show," Virgil agreed. "So, we're going to need to get Blue's vote to cement Yellow's place to duel. How confident are you in talking to Gretchen?"

"Not very," Bunko groused.

"I only ask because I have negative amounts of confidence in getting her to listen to me," Virgil explained. "Mystery Pop should be keen to work with us, but there's always Gretchen, isn't there?"

"We _will_ get rid of her someday!" Bunko promised.

"That day can't come soon enough," Virgil bemoaned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Damn, I really have no idea where Gretchen's head is at. I guess that's going to happen when I avoid her at every possible opportunity. But I'm going to need her to cooperate with me right now, so I might just have to bite the bullet. _(He begins eating a chocolate bar.)_ This Snickers is the bullet.

 **Bunko:** Hildegard has voted for Shadya more than once, but she's voted with Shadya even more times than that. And Rhiannon, I've never been able to trust, and I know Wisdom doesn't either. Taking one of them out will be great for us!

* * *

Nestor approached Mark as the latter returned to the shelter.

"So how was the food?" Nestor winked.

"I didn't eat much. I can't taste, and don't require sustenance," Mark reminded him.

"Have Ginger upgrade you already, damn it! Food is one of the best things about being alive!" Nestor insisted.

"Technically I'm not alive. I'm just a recreation of life," Mark pointed out.

"Naw, come on. Robot or no robot, you're still our buddy Mark," Nestor smiled.

"I appreciate that," Mark smiled back.

"So, there's been some talking since you guys were in that Tent," Nestor began. "I imagine you already have an idea of what I'm about to tell you."

"Either you want to vote for Yellow, and want Blue to join you, or you're voting for Blue and you're warning me ahead of time to cushion the blow," Mark deduced.

Nestor laughed. "You just assume I'm going to vote for your ass so calmly. Naw, naw, we want to vote for Yellow. You and Gretchen aren't really close with them, right?"

"No, but Shadya is, and, well, Ginger..." Mark trailed off.

"Well, come on sweetie, think about it," Nestor said. "Ginger is just one of your friends. But over here on the other side, you've got Bunko, and Virgil, and me all depending on you. Gretchen even has Wisdom depending on her, and I _know_ Gretchen does not give a damn about Yellow _or_ Purple."

"I know," Mark sighed. "I just... I feel _safe_ with Ginger. I hate the thought of betraying her."

"You didn't hate it last night when you voted _for_ her," Nestor said flatly.

"Yes, I did!" Mark cried. "I just... I needed to make sure Elmer or Shadya went home."

"And why did you need to make sure of that?" Nestor asked, his tone indicating that he already knew the answer.

"Look, just... let me think about it," Mark pleaded.

"I know you're smart, boo. I trust you'll come to the right conclusion," Nestor said as he left Mark alone.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** Part of me knows that turning on Ginger is my best move. I just... the thought of being separated from her stresses me out. How the hell did I do it back on the first island? I guess because I... didn't know about my relation to her. _(He begins pondering.)_

 **Nestor:** This weird-ass Stockholm Syndrome that boy's got for Ginger is starting to get on my last nerve. God, I wish she wasn't invincible right now. Of course, she had to be in a pair with Shadya. Ugh, if I had just trusted Rowan in my first vote, I would not be in this mess!

* * *

Gretchen approached Hildegard as the paladin foraged for food.

"So, did Shadya fill you in on her plan, or are things still rocky with you two?" Gretchen teased.

"Do tell me what thou thinketh Lady Shadya's plan is," Hildegard spat. "I cannot imagine she would reveal her true intentions to a serpent such as thyself. I could use a laugh."

"Meow," Gretchen commented. "Actually, she wants me and Mark to save you and Rhiannon and having us team up against Orange. Mark's going to talk to Bunko and I'm going to talk to Wisdom about it."

"Is that what she told thee?" Hildegard scoffed in amused disbelief.

"Oh, and what did she tell you, Your Obnoxiousness? To start talking like a normal person and to vote out the only shot your pair has at _not_ dueling tonight?" Gretchen responded. "Need I remind you that Mark and I give zero damns about you or Rhiannon? Or Shadya for that matter? We don't _have_ to go with Shadya's plan."

"Were thou planning to, to begin with?" Hildegard doubted.

"My apathy for the Yellow and Purple pairs is outweighed by my hatred for the Orange pair," Gretchen stated. "Seriously, have you spoken to either of them? They're the actual worst."

"I cannot say that I would be heartbroken to see the Orange pair dueling tonight," Hildegard conceded.

"Look, you and I aren't exactly going to be each other's maids of honor, but I think working together could benefit us both," Gretchen offered.

"I will discuss this with Lady Shadya and Rhiannon," Hildegard answered. "Take this not as an outright declination. I simply wish for my allies and me to be on the same page."

"Talk with whoever you need to," Gretchen said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Gretchen, as I stated, is not someone upon whom you can simply bestow thy trust. I am taking her words with an entire shaker of salt. I will speak to mine allies, and if her words hold merit, then _perhaps_ I will believe her. Perhaps it would behoove me to speak with Mark as well.

 **Gretchen:** You'd think that someone who's so obsessed with being righteous would be the first person to join the protagonist's side, but sadly, being morally ambiguous is just too much for her. _(She sighs dramatically.)_ What's a poor girl to do?

* * *

Wisdom watched some interns taking the leftover food out of the Tent of Banquets.

"Where do the leftovers go?" Wisdom asked. "Do they go into Chris's fridge? Are they donated to the hungry? Are they simply discarded?"

"We get to eat them, actually," an intern answered.

"We're not supposed to talk with the contestants," another intern reminded the first intern.

"R-Right. Sorry," the first intern gulped as he returned his focus to his job.

"Why are the interns not allowed to speak with us? How must it feel to be reduced to such a lowly state that you have lost your right to speak with others?" Wisdom thought aloud.

"I think the producers just don't want any risk of the interns affecting the game," Rhiannon answered as she walked up to Wisdom.

"Chris has been awfully insistent on that, hasn't he?" Wisdom figured. "We aren't even allowed to address duelists during a duel, huh?"

"Apparently there are allegations of producers rigging other reality TV shows. Chris probably doesn't want to get caught up in that," Rhiannon pointed out.

"It hasn't stopped him in the past, has it?" Wisdom pointed out.

"True," Rhiannon giggled. "...So, have you heard about the push to vote for Orange?"

Wisdom nodded. "And I assume you've heard about the push to vote for Yellow?"

"It was a safe assumption that that was going to happen," Rhiannon said with a forced smile. "Where's your head at right now?"

"Would you believe me if I told you that I truly did not know?" Wisdom half-answered. "What better way to avoid a potentially detrimental tie than by voting how the Blue pair decides?"

"Well, last I heard, they were voting for Orange, but then, if they were voting for Yellow, they probably wouldn't tell me to my face," Rhiannon connected the dots.

"Do you not hold any faith in the Blue pair?" Wisdom asked curiously.

"Mark pushed hard to vote for the Purple pair last night. That sent a message," Rhiannon explained. "The Blue pair are a wildcard. If Ginger can't trust Mark, then who can trust him?"

Wisdom looked unsure. "Are you suggesting that we vote for the Blue pair tonight?"

"I think it's worth thinking about," Rhiannon smiled.

Wisdom looked pensively at the ground.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I know Wisdom's never been my biggest fan - and that isn't just because my actual biggest fan leaves comments on all my videos - but I'm not against the idea of working with her if need be. And right now, I'm afraid it need be.

 **Wisdom:** Blindsiding the Blue pair, huh? Gretchen and Mark are firmly in the middle of the game's dynamics, aren't they? Mark, in particular, seems to have held a lot of power for a long time, hasn't he? But would the Orange pair be on board with the idea? Especially on such short notice?

* * *

Night had fallen, and several tiki torches were arranged in a large circle and lit not far from the shelter. Within the circle of torches were ten camp chairs - two of the five pair colors - also arranged in a circle, with the respective contestants seated in them. Chris stood in the very center.

"It's time to cast righteous judgment upon your peers, ladies and gentlemen!" Chris announced. "Who will be facing the Glowing Green Pair in tonight's duel? Time to decide!"

Wisdom began fidgeting nervously. Bunko supportively put her hand on her partner's shoulder.

"Now, obviously, you can't vote for the Glowing Green Pair, since they're already going to duel, and you can't vote for the Pyro Purple Pair since they won Invincibility," Chris reminded the contestants. "The other three pairs are all fair game. Not a lot of options. Hehaha. Oh, and, of course, the Pyro Purple Pair won't be voting unless it's to break a tie."

"We are the final judge, jury, and executioner," Ginger grinned.

"Aptly put," Chris chuckled. "If there's nothing else that anyone has to say, let's commence with the vote! Overheat Orange Pair, you guys start us off!"

Nestor and Virgil stood up and made their way towards the voting lectern.

* * *

The four eligible pairs cast their votes. Once the Blazing Blue Pair took their seats, Chris went to the lectern to retrieve the urn full of voting parchments.

Virgil began snacking on some fruit chews.

"Art thou sure thou should be indulging when thou could be dueling tonight?" Hildegard warned.

"Don't be jealous just because you didn't think to bring any," Virgil shrugged.

"Alright, I have the votes!" Chris announced as he returned to the circle with the urn. He took the first vote out of the urn and looked at it.

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"The first vote... Yieldless Yellow!" Chris announced.

The first three letters and the last three letters of 'Yellow' were written in different handwriting.

"Tch," Hildegard scoffed as she folded her arms.

Rhiannon silently nodded.

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"Second vote... Blazing Blue!" Chris continued.

The words 'Blue' and 'Pair' were written in different handwriting.

"Wait, _what_?!" Gretchen shouted.

"That's not good..." Mark winced.

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"Third vote... Yieldless Yellow!"

'Yellow' and 'Pair' were written in different handwriting.

Hildegard huffed indignantly. Rhiannon began tapping at her chair nervously.

"There's only one more vote. If it's for Overheat Orange or Yieldless Yellow, then the Yieldless Yellow Pair will duel. If it's for the Blazing Blue Pair, the tie will be broken by the Pyro Purple Pair," Chris reiterated.

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"The final vote..." Chris began as he slowly turned the parchment to show the contestants.

The parchment had Hildegard's and Rhiannon's names written on it, each in different handwriting.

"Yieldless Yellow Pair, you two will be at risk tonight," Chris confirmed.

Shadya growled quietly. Ginger grimaced. Rhiannon simply closed her eyes, hurt. Hildegard was not so quiet.

"Thou thinkest thou can put Lady Hildegard at risk?! Ha!" Hildegard objected. "Thou wilt soon learn that thy folly will by thy undoing!"

"And now, it's time for the at-risk pairs to select who from the opposing pair will duel," Chris said. "Yieldless Yellow, you guys are up first."

Hildegard and Rhiannon made their way back to the lectern.

* * *

Both at-risk pairs had cast their votes, and Bunko and Hildegard held onto them as the two pairs stood in view of the safe contestants.

"Alright pairs..." Chris grinned. "Reveal!"

Bunko and Hildegard revealed their respective decisions, which were for Rhiannon and Bunko respectively.

"Huh?!" Rhiannon gasped. She stifled tears.

"I can't say I'm surprised," Bunko chided. "But I _will_ win this!"

"Bunko and Rhiannon, you two will be fighting for your lives in this game," Chris stated. "Wisdom and Hildegard will have to stick around to watch the duel, but, as always, the rest of you are free to go do something else if you really want to."

"What if I have to use the bathroom?" Wisdom asked.

"Why didn't you go before the vote?" Chris groaned.

"I don't have to go, but what if I did?" Wisdom questioned.

"Then too bad," Chris dismissed. "Anyway, here's how tonight's duel is going to go."

A few interns carried two large, heavy rocks onto the scene and placed them in front of Bunko and Rhiannon. A few more interns arrived with pickaxes, chisels, and hammers, and placed those in front of the duelists as well.

"Before each of you is a big rock. Obviously," Chris began. "Within these rocks are gemstones matching each of the six starting pair colors. Your job is to dig out the gem of your pair's color and hand it to me. The first person to hand me her correctly-colored gemstone will earn her continued time in this game."

"Wait, there are _real_ gems in there?!" Bunko asked excitedly.

"What? No. Obviously, they're fake," Chris told her, clearly taken aback by what she had said. "If _only_ we had real gemstones. We might still be able to afford to pay a co-host's salary and I wouldn't be pulling twice the weight."

"Yes, let us all lament Chris McLean, a martyr unto us all," Gretchen faux-lamented.

"Can it, Gretchen," Chris deadpanned. "If there are no further questions, the duel will begin... NOW!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** Just great, three rounds into the merge, and I already have to duel again! But no matter! I beat Steve Jenkins, and I can beat Rhiannon, too! I have the power of justice on my side!

 **Rhiannon:** Oh my god, of all the days I have to duel, why did it have to be today?! I'm not just going to let myself go home, though. People are depending on me. I refuse to let them down. I don't know if I could forgive myself if I did.

* * *

Bunko took her hammer and began immediately slamming it against her rock. Rhiannon took her pickaxe and began swinging it at hers.

"I will find my gemstone if it's the last thing I do!" Bunko proclaimed.

"Will it still count if you accidentally shatter the gemstone into a million pieces?" Rhiannon pointed out.

"Sure, as long as she hands me all one million pieces," Chris answered.

"You heard the man!" Bunko grinned as she continued slamming her hammer into the rock, causing it to crack.

"Rhiannon is going to slow for my liking," Hildegard winced. "She would do well to pick up the pace."

"Now, now. Haven't you ever heard of slow and steady?" Nestor tutted.

"That is a farcical tale that holds no application to the real world," Hildegard denied.

Rhiannon had dented a considerable hole into her rock. She took her chisel and hammer and drove the chisel into the hole, causing long cracks to emanate from it.

"I can do this. I will do this," Rhiannon told herself.

Bunko, having created several cracks with her hammer, changed to the pickaxe and began swinging it at the breaking spot of the rock, digging several chunks out of it.

" _Digging, digging, digging a hole~_ " Bunko began to sing.

"Can robots sing?" Wisdom asked Mark.

"I never really thought about it," Mark answered. "If I can, I have no idea how to. Which, maybe that's for the best. Recreating a human voice is tough, Ginger tells me. I can't imagine how singing would sound."

"I'd think it would just sound like autotuned songs, wouldn't it?" Wisdom guessed.

"Well, I'll ask Ginger about it later," Mark assured her.

Bunko uncovered the red gemstone, still firmly lodged in the rock.

"Crap, that's not the one," Bunko pouted. "I should start digging somewhere else.

Rhiannon glanced peripherally at her opponent, then returned focus to her own rock.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Somehow, Bunko's probably closer to finding her gem than I am. I must be going about this all wrong. ...Who would have thought that I'd need to emulate Bunko if I wanted a chance at getting ahead?

* * *

Rhiannon took her hammer and began slamming it at a spot near where she had already formed cracks in her rock.

"Copycat!" Bunko accused.

"I'm just trying to win over here!" Rhiannon panicked.

"Not on my watch!" Bunko insisted.

Both girls loudly slammed their hammers against their rocks.

"I know Cherry Pie is good with handling tools, but this is ridiculous," Virgil smirked.

"Did it take all day to come up with that one?" Gretchen gibed.

"Yep. I sat down for hours thinking of just the right words to say if Cherry Pie ended up needing to use tools for some reason. I'm glad all my effort hasn't gone unnoticed," Virgil smirked.

"Do you genuinely think you're charming, or are you trying to be the most annoying person on the planet?" Gretchen scowled.

Bunko began using her pickaxe to dig away at the cracked stone.

"Come on, green gem! I know you're in there!" Bunko called.

"Are you talking to your rock?" Rhiannon asked.

"Mind your own beeswax!" Bunko objected.

Rhiannon switched to her own pickaxe and swung it into the cracks that had already formed on her rock. This spread the cracks even further across the rock.

"So, the Blue pair betrayed us once again," Ginger muttered to Shadya. "What now?"

"Now, we pray to whatever god is listening, and we keep winning challenges," Shadya sighed.

"What if Rhiannon wins this?" Ginger brought up.

"I suppose that disbanding the Green pair could benefit us..." Shadya thought aloud. "But that is an 'if' that we cannot control."

Bunko uncovered another gemstone in her rock: the green one.

"Yes! I found it!" Bunko cheered. "Alright, green gem. Let's get you on out of there!"

Rhiannon began to sweat as she took her hammer and slammed it into her rock once again, accidentally breaking it clean open widthwise. The top half of the rock fell broken-side-up on the ground next to the bottom half.

"O-Oh!" Rhiannon realized as she saw the yellow gem had been broken in two, with each piece stuck in each half of the rock.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bunko:** Sure, Rhiannon has a clearer view of her gem, but hers is in two pieces! I just need to dig mine out in one piece, and I'm home free!

* * *

Both girls had taken their hammers and chisels and began chipping away at the stone surrounding their respective gems.

" _Digging, digging, digging a hole~_ " Bunko sang.

"Careful... careful..." Rhiannon reminded herself as she tried to quickly and precisely chisel around one half of her gem.

Wisdom tapped her fingers together anxiously.

"Bunko can still do this," Mark assured her. "She just needs to get it out before Rhiannon can get hers."

"But will she be able to do it?" Wisdom gulped.

Bunko had managed to dig off most of the stone surrounding her gem.

"Honestly? She might," Ginger answered Wisdom.

"Yes!" Rhiannon cheered as she successfully dug out one half of her gem. She moved on to the other half.

"You won't be cheering in a minute!" Bunko insisted.

"Well, no, that would make me a sore winner," Rhiannon winked.

Bunko dug around her gem even harder.

"Rhiannon is not one to give up so easily. I do believe in her," Hildegard smiled.

"You've stopped calling her 'Lady Rhiannon'," Shadya noted.

"Damn, did she lose nickname privileges?" Virgil chimed in.

"Have I?" Hildegard asked. "I'd noticed not."

Both Bunko and Rhiannon had chiseled out a considerable amount of the rock surrounding their respective gems. They shared a brief glance as they inched closer and closer to a conclusion.

"Ooooooooh, we're almost there!" Nestor gushed. "I am _excited_!"

"Chill out, it's just two joke characters," Gretchen jeered.

One girl finished chiseling out her gemstone and quickly ran up to Chris to present the fruits of her effort.

"And that's the duel!" Chris announced.

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"Congrats to Rhiannon! Even if it's two halves of a yellow gem, it's still a yellow gem," Chris said.

"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" Bunko cried.

"You were really close, sweetie," Rhiannon consoled.

"That just makes it worse! I was _this_ close to beating you!" Bunko huffed.

"Oh... sorry..." Rhiannon forced a smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Finally, that headache can go home, and I can continue playing without a jealous child obsessively trying to sink my game. Well, unless you count Gretchen, but we'll get to her when we get to her.

* * *

"Bunko, noooo," Nestor frowned as he walked up to his friend and gave her a hug. "You are the fiercest bitch in this game, and don't let anyone tell you any different."

"I really thought I could win," Bunko sniveled.

"You played a hell of a game," Virgil assured her. "You probably could have won if you'd stuck around."

"It was an honor working with you," Mark told Bunko. "I knew that when we hit it off on day one, you'd be a great ally."

"Awwwww, you guys," Bunko blubbered. "I'm going to miss you so much!"

"Bunko?" Wisdom asked meekly. "Could you tell Dean that we worked together? And that I do consider you a friend?"

"Of course!" Bunko smiled. "Wisdom, I'm really sorry about those times I lost my temper at you."

"What are friends for if not forgiveness?" Wisdom smiled back as she embraced her friend.

"I hate to interrupt a tender moment, but-" Chris began.

"No you don't," Nestor said flatly.

Chris inhaled sharply and wagged his finger at Nestor before continuing his thought. "Bunko, it's time for you to walk the Dock of Shame."

"This sucks," Bunko sighed. "Good luck, you guys! Except for Shadya because she doesn't need it."

"That's true. I don't," Shadya agreed.

Bunko pouted at Shadya agreeing with her before she made her way to the Dock of Shame. "Bye, guys!" she called before walking down the Dock and getting into the Boat of Losers, which drove off with her in tow.

"And, with Bunko's departure, I'm afraid you'll have to give up your bandana, Wisdom," Chris instructed.

"Oh?" Wisdom remembered. She untied her bandana from her neck and handed it to Chris.

"See, _that's_ how you graciously give up your pairhood," Chris said as he looked at Gretchen unsubtly. "Wisdom is now in limbo. The eight of you who aren't had better keep your eyes on the prize. Bunko just proved that you can be in power one day, and go home the next. That's all I have for you tonight."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** It just goes to show that a little perseverance can go a long way when things are looking bleak. With the Green pair out of commission, Yellow and Purple can get a foothold back in the game. I'm actually kind of looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings. _(She gives a genuine smile.)_

 **Wisdom:** So, I'm in limbo now, huh? So I can't participate in the challenge or vote, but I can't duel either? But I can still talk to the others, can't I? That couldn't hurt, could it? I could use some more allies than just Gretchen, huh?

* * *

Chris stood at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"Things are always changing here on Apoy Island, and that might be the only constant around here!" Chris grinned. "Who will take control of the game tomorrow? And will that control really amount to anything? We're at the single digits, folks, and anything can happen! All this and more, next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

Overheat Orange: Yieldless Yellow

Yieldless Yellow: Blazing Blue

Glowing Green: Yieldless Yellow

Blazing Blue: Yieldless Yellow

Pyro Purple: Glowing Green

* * *

 **Overheat Orange Pair:**

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Yieldless Yellow Pair:**

Hildegard - The Paladin

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

 **Blazing Blue Pair:**

Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist

Mark - The Amnesiac

 **Pyro Purple Pair:**

Ginger - The Snarky Roboticist

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

 **Limbo:**

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: Lmao, guys. You don't understand. Bunko was going to be the sixth boot. Then I realized that I didn't have much of a plot excuse to get rid of her then, so I swapped her boot with Louise's. Then I ended up liking her dynamic on the Tough Tundras, so I postponed her boot to later on Kairi Island, until I realized that it made more sense for the character arcs of the people who did leave on Kairi Island to go when they did (she and Roxie were this close to swapping placements). So I just kept on pushing her boot back one more episode, then another episode, then another, and so on. I almost pushed it back to next episode, but I felt that now was a good time for her to go._

 _As for Bunko herself, obviously, she ended up becoming more than the simple over-the-top goof character she was slated to be in the Danganronpa fic from which she originated. I enjoyed writing someone who was passionate about playing the game but wasn't really good at it in any capacity despite how far in the game she actually made it. Someone a bit more childlike in demeanor and worldview than the others. She was never my favorite character, but I liked what she brought and I don't regret writing her the way I did. What did you guys think, though?_


	18. Posting Stupid Fishing Memes

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius. "In our last episode, the new Blazing Blue Pair established themselves as the one pair that no one else could live without, standing firmly in the middle of the alliances between Yieldless Yellow and Pyro Purple, and Overheat Orange and Glowing Green. Shadya struggled with the fact that she isn't holding all the power in the game anymore, and Rhiannon struggled with her compulsory need to be positive for everyone. It didn't work. Hehaha. Wisdom began branching out after lying low for the first few rounds of the merge, and Ginger seems to care more about her experiment with Mark than the actual game itself.

"The challenge consisted of our pairs running all across the island to grab bags of puzzle pieces, and then back to the center of the island to put the puzzle together. The cast may be getting smaller and smaller, but the trash talk is _never_ going to stop, especially if you're the Overheat Orange Pair. Not that it did them any favors since they weren't even close to catching up to the Pyro Purple Pair, the eventual winners of the challenge. Pyro Purple chose the Glowing Green Pair to be at risk, to the surprise of no one, but there was some real discourse over who would join them in the duel. Despite a last-ditch effort to throw the Blazing Blue Pair under the bus, though, the Yieldless Yellow Pair were ultimately selected.

"Bunko and Rhiannon were chosen to partake in the duel. Their mission? To excavate a specific gemstone from a big rock placed in front of them. Bunko ended up taking a surprising lead, but once Rhiannon began copying her strategy, she was able to pull ahead and snipe the W from our caricaturist, leaving Bunko as our 10th place finisher for the season and sending Wisdom into limbo.

"How will today's challenge affect tonight's duelists? Even I can't even begin to guess, but I'm dying to find out. Are you? This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Ginger and Mark met up privately away from camp.

"Is something wrong?" Mark asked. "Did I break myself without realizing?"

"Maybe. Look, I respect your sense of autonomy because it's a testament to my programming genius, but can I at least ask _why_ you suddenly decided to screw me over?" Ginger folded her arms.

"I thought you could read my memories with that one device," Mark pointed out.

"I can, but ever since Shadya suggested I tamper with your memories, I've tried to avoid using it whenever possible," Ginger grumbled. "The last thing I want is accusations of an unreputable experiment."

"Look, Ginger, I feel safer with you around. I've made that clear to the others," Mark assured her. "But, well, you're my only friend among Purple and Yellow. I'm friends with Bunko, Virgil, and Nestor, and Gretchen is friends with Wisdom, so siding with them just made more sense as far as numbers go."

"Bunko's gone now, though," Ginger pointed out. "So are you going to keep siding with the Orange pair over Purple and Yellow when you're just going to tie at best?"

"With only three votes cast for two pairs, there can't be a tie this round," Mark mentioned. "But even if that was a concern, Gretchen is not going to want to work with the Orange pair, so you can rest assured, Ginger, that I'm with you one hundred percent."

"Good. What say we take out one Orange tonight, and then when Wisdom joins up with whoever stays, we throw Orange back in and take out the other one?" Ginger suggested.

"I said I was with _you_ , Ginger. I'm friends with the Orange pair, though, remember?" Mark reminded her. "I hold no loyalty to the Yellow pair, and if it were up to me, they would be dueling before the Orange pair would."

"So Gretchen is more likely to work in my favor than you are?" Ginger scoffed.

"I'm sorry, Ginger, but I need to play the game that suits me the best," Mark told her. "I'm still going to do everything in my power to keep you safe, but if we have a difference in priority when it comes to targets, that can't be helped. How do you think I feel that you're pushing so hard for two of my friends to go? Especially after you worked so well with them on the last island."

Ginger opened her mouth as if to speak, but no words came.

"Do _you_ want to keep Yellow over Orange, or does Shadya?" Mark continued. "You can't just play her game, even if you are in a pair with her."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Damn it, if all future robots are as smart as Mark, they might actually end up taking over the world. I guess I don't know my own skills as an AI programmer. _(She forces a chuckle.)_ But look, Shadya's a very valuable ally who's keeping me safe. The Orange pair are actively working against her, so, by extension, they're actively working against me. Even if we did use to work together, that clearly isn't the case anymore. I can't let things like sentiment get in the way of what's best for my game.

 **Mark:** I understand that Ginger wants to win, but so do all of us. In fact, the time I've spent in this game is the only memory I have. All I've ever really known is Total Drama Shuffle Party. In a way, this basically _is_ Mark's entire existence. I don't know what will happen after I lose, or even after I win. But I want to come out of this victoriously. So I need to do whatever it takes to do that, even if it means... betraying Ginger.

* * *

Nestor and Virgil sat at the Dock of Shame with fishing poles.

"How come you're always the one who ends up fishing for everyone?" Nestor asked.

Virgil shrugged. "It gives me something productive to do that isn't tiring. Gotta save my energy for the challenge, you dig?"

"Well, if you want productive, we need to talk about our plans going forward," Nestor directed. "Losing the Green pair puts us at a disadvantage, especially since we have no idea where Wisdom's head is right now."

"I can't imagine Strawberry would be loyal to anyone but Gretchen," Virgil figured. "So, what, should we gun for the Blue pair? Either force Strawberry into a pair with her only ally to minimize their influence, or just eliminate Gretchen entirely?"

"Honestly? That's not the worst idea I've heard this week," Nestor considered. "But do we want to just get rid of Mark so readily? He's the only person I feel like we can trust all that much. I think we should continue gunning for Yellow and Purple. If Wisdom ends up joining one of them, then her pair will have connection with the Blue pair through Gretchen, and we'll have connection with the Blue pair through Mark. Kind of like how we were only allies with Wisdom through our friendship with Bunko."

"Damn, you really do know your Total Drama," Virgil smirked, impressed.

"Well, I should hope so, after running a successful blog about it for several years," Nestor boasted. "Anyway, I'd much rather put the Purple pair in danger. I want both of them gone asap."

"Top Banana is a scary enemy to have, but is Gingersnap really all that bad?" Virgil asked.

"She has Mark so deep in her pocket that the boy is practically _smothered_ in lint," Nestor said with a snap of his fingers. "It's honestly so uncomfortable."

"Being smothered in lint does sound uncomfortable," Virgil quipped. "I don't know, though, Gingersnap's been good with us before. I think she's only working against us out of necessity. If we can get rid of that necessity, that's another ally for us."

"Virgil, honey, we're the ones who took the first shot against her when we voted for her pair the other day," Nestor reminded him.

"...Damn, you're right," Virgil recalled. "Can we create a necessity to work with us?"

"I'd rather just cut her from the game entirely, but if we end up losing Shadya, we'll see what we can do about Ginger," Nestor figured.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** We are in the final! Nine! And we just lost a valuable friend and ally, so the pair that was playing the middle is probably not going to be working with us. Virgil and I need to get to hustling if we want to survive for any length of time. Maybe I shouldn't have been so dismissive of him trying to work over Ginger, but she is on my last nerve and I don't know how much I could work with her. I'll have to think about it.

 **Virgil:** If you'll recall, your boy is no stranger to being on the outs against a majority alliance. Remember the Luscious Lollipops? I wish I didn't. Back then, my best hope was winning challenges. It's looking like that might be the case again right now, but, of course, there are also more options for potential allies here than there were back then. _(He sticks a lollipop in his mouth.)_

* * *

Rhiannon and Shadya sat at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"Now that Bunko has finally left us, we don't have nearly as much cause to worry about our position in the game," Shadya said with a slight smile.

"Not _as_ much, but it's still worth worrying about," Rhiannon replied. "That's twice now that Mark has voted against us despite supposedly being so loyal to Ginger."

"Yes, and she's doing a fat load of nothing to figure out what's going on with his head," Shadya grumbled. "Apparently she's suddenly decided that it's unethical and would call her experiment into question."

"Well, let's just tackle this as if Mark was never a robot," Rhiannon suggested. "How do we get him and Gretchen to side with us?"

"Well, the obvious answer is to point out that it'd be a majority rather than a tie," Shadya began. "But then, the pair who wins won't be voting, so with four pairs, that means no tie."

"Mm, that's true," Rhiannon realized.

"Perhaps I could talk to Gretchen?" Wisdom suggested as she approached the two.

"Wisdom. What brings you here?" Shadya asked skeptically.

"Do you think... there's any room for me in your plans?" Wisdom wondered.

"You're in limbo and have actively worked against us in the past," Shadya stated.

"I've worked with you, too, haven't I?" Wisdom frowned. "Remember the Jeremy vote? And the Fred vote? I only ever worked against you because you voted against me first, remember?"

"That is true," Rhiannon conceded.

"And hey, I won't be in limbo forever, you know?" Wisdom added. "When I do get into a new pair, wouldn't you want someone on your side to be in that pair, no matter what color?"

"I see no reason not to trust her," Rhiannon said to Shadya. "I think Mark mentioned to me once that Wisdom and Virgil don't get along."

Wisdom nodded. "Yes, why would I work with Virgil when he's always opposed me and my allies?"

"You did so in the past," Shadya pointed out.

"You really don't want to work with me, do you?" Wisdom sniffled.

"Let me and Shadya talk it over," Rhiannon offered helpfully.

Wisdom nodded. "Please at least consider the benefits of having me on your side?" she pled before leaving the two be.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** I suppose it would be hard to trust me after having worked against them for so long, huh? But I can change the direction I go, right? What good have grudges ever done anyone? Would it not benefit us all if we were to leave the past in the past and look towards the future?

 **Shadya:** You never want to accept a deal right out of the gate. You never know how honest the other person is being, or if there's a catch they're leaving out, or if it's beneficial to you at all. For what it's worth, I do believe that Wisdom wants to work with us, but whether the reward outweighs the risk is something I'm a lot more dubious about.

 **Rhiannon:** Wisdom does make a decent point about having more numbers on more pairs. I think it's worth looking into, but how loyal can she really be to us if she just now joined our alliance? I'll have to keep an eye on her today, just to be safe.

* * *

Hildegard practiced routines with her lance in a spot away from camp.

"Are you ever actually going to use that thing?" Gretchen doubted as she walked up to the paladin.

"I did so frequently on the previous two islands!" Hildegard insisted. "'Tis an excellent hunting tool!"

"It looks like you broke it and had to fix it," Gretche mentioned.

"See?! It has seen use!" Hildegard maintained. "Unlike thee, who hast only worked against me!"

"I just went with what Mark and Wisdom wanted," Gretchen said as she held her hands up innocently. "I may be the protagonist, but I had no strong preference for who I voted for, so I let them take charge for once."

"And what of thy alleged tension with the Orange pair, hm?" Hildegard pointed out.

"Mark and Bunko both swore we could trust them," Gretchen said. "But hey, now that Bunko's gone and Wisdom's in limbo, I certainly wouldn't mind taking a crack at the Orange pair tonight."

"Tempt me not with thy hollow words, witch!" Hildegard spat. "Thou hast proven thyself thoroughly unworthy of my trust. I would not have thee waste my time with such meaningless false promises. Good day!"

"Tch. I bet you wouldn't be saying that if Shadya treated you the same way after you voted for her twice," Gretchen scoffed.

"Didst thou not hear me?! Away with thee!" Hildegard shooed.

"Look, _I'm_ offering to work with _you_ despite the fact that _you_ voted for _me_ last night," Gretchen said harshly. "What do I have to gain from lying to you?"

"Everything! Do not act dumb!" Hildegard accused. "Thou worry about thy position in the game and are simply attempting to keep thyself safe! It is not working, duplicitous plague-sore!"

"What did you just call me?!" Gretchen snapped.

"Would thou rather that I call attention to thy baldness?" Hildegard asked smugly.

"I'm going to step away before I choke a bitch and people call my protagonist status into question any more," Gretchen seethed as she forced herself to leave.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** As far as I am concerned, the Blue pair art the next biggest targets of the Yellow pair. Neither of them is to be trusted, and have been distressingly safe since the start of the merge. 'Tis my mission to deal with them posthaste, preferably Gretchen since Wisdom will join with whoever survives, and the last thing I need is for those two to work together!

 **Gretchen:** Why does everyone have to be so difficult?! The Orange pair obviously won't work with me, and it's looking like the Yellow pair is a bust, too. Are Ginger and Shadya actually my best bet right now? Give me a break.

* * *

Wisdom ate lunch by the campfire while Mark sat near her.

"Are you... eyeing my food?" Wisdom asked. "You can't eat or get hungry, right?"

"I'm just curious about the whole concept of food," Mark explained. "You're right: it isn't something I need, but I still find the whole idea behind it fascinating. And entire sense - taste - that I cannot experience or really understand. The fact that eating is what recharges your battery, so to speak."

"So humans are as fascinating to you as robots are to us?" Wisdom giggled. "How come we've never spoken before? We're both allies of Gretchen's, right?"

"Only since the other day when Elmer was eliminated," Mark pointed out. "But you're right, that isn't much of an excuse. We should be able to trust each other going forward."

"So we agree on that, huh?" Wisdom nodded. "I suppose you still have no memories of your past, right? What should we talk about?"

"Well, what about your past?" Mark suggested. "What kind of things do you do for fun?"

"You want to know about me?" Wisdom asked, taken aback a bit. "Well, what is there to say? I don't get out a whole lot, you know? What's there to talk about when I don't do very much? Unless watching videos and TV all day counts?"

"I'd say it does," Mark assured her. "That's something you like to do, and that tells me something about you."

"Something bad?" Wisdom winced.

"What? No," Mark told her. "Are you ashamed of liking videos and TV?"

"It's not very interesting, right?" Wisdom frowned. "Why chat with me when more interesting and accomplished people like Shadya or Nestor or Rhiannon are out here?"

"...Wisdom, one thing I've learned out here is that you can't focus on what others might think of you," Mark said solemnly. "When I found out I was... you know... I was terrified that everyone would reject me en masse if they found out, because Roxie was very vocal in her disdain towards it, and because Ginger kept trying to keep it a secret. But when Roxie told everyone on the Brilliant Beaches, nobody was really bothered by it. Some people even told me it was really cool."

"You were really insecure about it?" Wisdom asked curiously. "But it's so interesting, right?"

"I didn't think so. I thought it was something to be ashamed of," Mark told her. "Even now, I still have trouble outright saying that I'm... you know. Roxie cut me deep. My point is: even if you think people will reject some aspect about you, and even if somebody _does_ , that doesn't mean that you should think less of yourself. If you own it, people will be way more likely to appreciate it."

"You're awfully wise for someone who's only been around for a few weeks, aren't you?" Wisdom said pensively.

"Ginger programmed me well, I suppose," Mark chuckled. "Sorry if I came off as overly preachy or patronizing."

"Maybe a little?" Wisdom told him. "But you were just trying to help, right?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Mark was insecure about being a robot, even though it's so interesting? Does that mean that things I'm insecure about are things others might find interesting? Well, not inherently, right? What's so interesting about sitting around and binge-watching Netflix? ...I guess I could talk about the shows I watch, maybe? _(She looks pensive once again.)_

 **Mark:** I don't know where that came from. I guess I just wanted some kind of assurance that there's no reason to be ashamed of who you are. That prospect still hangs with me... for whatever reason. Hopefully, I didn't put Wisdom off back there. I really do want to be able to work with her.

* * *

Nestor took Rhiannon out on a walk around the island.

"Okay girl, it's time to bring these leaves to a boil," Nestor prefaced. "We got the jasmine. We got that chamomile. You _know_ we've got some of that chai."

"What... exactly do you want to know?" Rhiannon asked uncomfortably.

"How much longer you plan on letting Shadya run this game, girlfriend," Nestor clarified. "Because we are getting down to the nitty-gritty and I cannot help but notice that she is still here."

"Shadya is a close and trusted ally of mine," Rhiannon frowned. "If you're trying to get me to stab her in the back, it's not going to happen."

"Alright, let me put it in clearer terms," Nestor decided. "The Blue pair has voted against the Purple pair's wishes for the past two eliminations. So has the Orange pair. Even with the Green pair out of commission now, I don't think that's likely to change tonight. We are offering you a spot in the majority."

"And what if Purple or Yellow wins the challenge?" Rhiannon challenged.

"Then Blue and Orange will just vote for whichever pair didn't win," Nestor answered.

"So if Purple wins, you'd just vote Yellow in anyway," Rhiannon pointed out. "If you want a real deal with me, think about voting for Blue. They're clearly the ones really running the show, and you and Virgil don't even like Gretchen!"

Nestor was taken aback, then shifted to looking impressed. "Damn, look at Rhiannon, making moves. Tell me more about how the Blue pair are running the game. Because if I think Gretchen's a higher priority than Shadya, I might even change my mind."

"It's not even just Gretchen. It's mostly Mark," Rhiannon explained. "Gretchen has Wisdom on her side, sure, but Mark gets along well with both of you on Orange _and_ Ginger. He's talking to Wisdom right now." Rhiannon gestured at Mark and Wisdom back at camp in the distance. "He knows how to win people on his side. I've been accused of playing Shadya's game, but it seems to me like everyone else is just playing Mark's game!"

Nestor slow-clapped. "Now _that's_ the kind of fierceness I expected from a girl like you! That's what's going to make this a decent season of Total Drama. Honestly, I will think about it, and I will talk to Virgil about it, too."

"That's all I can ask," Rhiannon said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I don't know if Nestor knows how condescending he always comes off, but it's made it hard to work with him, to say the least. I just hope this plan to deal with the Blue pair works out. Specifically Mark. If Mark goes, and Wisdom becomes Gretchen's new partner, then there's no reason for Blue to work with Orange, and then we can deal with Orange. Not that Nestor or Virgil need to know about all those parts. _(She titters.)_

 **Nestor:** Damn, that girl knows how to tempt a man, and that's not even because she fucks on camera. I'm still not entirely convinced that shooting for Blue is my top priority, but if Purple wins the challenge? I might think about voting for Blue instead of Yellow, assuming Purple doesn't just put Blue in by default. It's the uncertainties of this game, boys and girls, that make it so great!

* * *

Hildegard had just finished spear-fishing when Virgil approached her.

"Not that I'm keeping track, but damn, I've certainly never caught that many fish in one go," Virgil complimented.

"Thy use of a fishing rod is a slow and impractical means of acquiring food," Hildegard told him. "If thou wisheth to hunt, then make the effort! Getting wet is but a small price to pay for valuable sustenance."

"I almost feel called out," Virgil chuckled. "Eh, sitting on the dock with a fishing rod is more relaxing. Just watch, by the end of this season, I'm going to be posting stupid fishing memes on all my social media. You know the kind."

"I do not," Hildegard responded. "And besides, fishing is not about being relaxing! Its purpose is to provide us with the scant few bits of food we may attain on this accursedly barren island."

"Well, me fishing with the pole has still grabbed me _some_ fish," Virgil shrugged. "It's not like there's much else I could be doing, so I can't say I'm wasting my time by doing it."

"Nay, but there is a more practical way to do it!" Hildegard objected.

"Having a pleasant conversation with someone while your line is in the water is still practical, just in a different way," Virgil winked. "You should give it a try sometime."

"Art thou so quick to starve that thou would knowingly use a method that yields fewer results?!" Hildegard accused.

"You ain't listening, Spearmint," Virgil tutted as he shook his head. "It's not about catching fish for me. Sure, catching fish as I'm doing it helps, but it's relaxing, it gives me time to think about the game, and people have a tendency to sit next to you and chat while you're doing it. It's a social and gameplay boon more than a survival boon."

"Couldst thou not speaketh with the others without wasting time?" Hildegard questioned.

"Alright, if you're just not going to even consider what I'm saying, then I'm not going to try to explain it," Virgil scowled. "You'd be dangerously close to losing your nickname privileges if I wasn't so proud of yours."

"Was that thine idea of a threat?" Hildegard scoffed, amused.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I cannot fathom why one would take on a task and intentionally perform it so partially! It does not benefit him nor the rest of us who art working together to keep ourselves fed and sheltered!

 **Virgil:** Welp, I was going to see where Spearmint's head was at going into this round, and I just got lectured on something completely unrelated. How do you like that? _(He starts chewing some gum.)_ Seems like she does an awful lot of talking and not a whole lot of listening. I can't say I'm a fan of that particular trait of hers.

* * *

Ginger met up with Gretchen at a beach away from camp.

"Alright, I think it's time we discussed the future," Ginger prefaced.

"So, the robot queen herself fears her place on the throne is in jeopardy, huh?" Gretchen snickered.

"Look, your pair got a vote last night. Do you want for that to gain momentum, or do you want to _not_ end up dueling for your life in this game?" Ginger scowled.

"That was the Yellow pair, right?" Gretchen figured out. "Do you know something?"

"I know that neither of the Orange pair particularly cares all that much for you, or for Shadya, or for me," Ginger explained. "And I know that the Yellow pair don't particularly care for them, either."

"So you're suggesting a Blue/Purple/Yellow gang-up on Orange, eh?" Gretchen chuckled.

"I'll even throw in a promise that Yellow will be my next priority target if Orange is invincible, or once we take them out," Ginger grinned.

"Is that so?" Shadya asked from behind Ginger.

"Yes," Ginger said. She then turned around in realization. "How long have you been there?!"

"Long enough," Shadya glowered.

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Ginger snapped to Gretchen.

"Because I knew that your reaction would be funny," Gretchen snickered.

"At what point did I give the impression that you could speak on my behalf, Ginger?" Shadya snarled.

"At what point did I speak on your behalf?" Ginger scoffed. "I said that _I_ wanted Blue, Purple, and Yellow to team up against Orange. I said that _I_ had Yellow as a higher priority target than Blue."

"As we are bound together as a pair for the remainder of this island, any actions you claim to be able to take are actions that you claim I will take alongside you," Shadya pointed out. "I have zero patience for smart-alecks."

"Well, what oh-so-brilliant plan did _you_ come up with that's better than rallying the troops against a common enemy?" Ginger talked back.

"Make no mistake, I also wished to speak with Gretchen about such a plan. I've already spoken with Rhiannon about it, and Wisdom said she would speak with Gretchen about it," Shadya explained. "But I will not stand here and allow such an act of audacity as someone thinking they can speak for me."

"It's a hard 'maybe' from me, by the way," Gretchen chimed in. "The Orange pair sucks, but I'm not exactly best friends with either of you, either, and at least the Orange pair have voted with me."

"This does not concern you," Shadya told Gretchen.

Gretchen could only give a taken-aback, wide-eyed smile as she walked away, leaving Ginger and Shadya to argue further.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I have had it up to _here_ with Shadya acting like she's some sort of deity who everyone is blaspheming against! Just because I'm in a pair with you doesn't mean you get to call all the shots while I'm just your good little dog, doing what she's told! Have I ever treated Mark like less of a person just because I literally created him from scratch? I don't think so!

 **Shadya:** I know what the objectively best way to ensure the Pyro Purple Pair's continued success in this game is, and having Ginger act in my stead when she has no idea what she's doing infuriates me beyond words. It truly is a matter of too many cooks, and I am the only cook that my kitchen will ever need.

 **Gretchen:** On one hand, I can't stand Nestor or Virgil, and they're definitely a more cohesive pair than Ginger and Shadya. On the other hand, Ginger and Shadya definitely think of themselves as protagonists more than they have any right to, and they're pretty big threats besides. And then there's the Yellow pair to consider as well. I have my work cut out for me, I do.

* * *

The contestants, sans Wisdom, met up with Chris at the center of the island. Scattered around the area were several sword bases with swords within, and behind Chris were strange wooden contraptions in the four pair colors.

"Alright gang, are you guys ready for another totally awesome challenge?" Chris grinned.

"As I'll ever be," Virgil answered.

"As you can see, behind me are some wooden bases with ropes on them. These ropes are restraining a flag within the bases from raising. Your job is to chop those ropes so that your flag raises," Chris explained.

"Why are there so many swords if it's that simple?" Ginger questioned.

"It's never that simple, hon," Nestor reminded her.

"Nestor is correct. It's definitely not that simple," Chris chuckled. "For starters, some of the swords are easier to extract than others, some of them are too dull to cut anything, and a bunch of them are just straight-up, not extractable. Also, once you've used a sword to cut one of your ropes, you'll have to discard it and go grab another sword. If you cut more than one rope with the same sword, we'll know, and you will be disqualified from the challenge."

"Fair enough," Mark nodded.

Interns arrived to handcuff the pairs together.

"The first pair to raise their flag will win Invincibility, their pick of one pair to be at risk, and a trip to the Tent of Banquets," Chris concluded. "Never bad rewards to have. If there are no further questions, we'll get the show on the road."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Though my weapon of choice will always be my holy lance, all paladins have at least some proficiency in swordplay! Perhaps the blades will see me as the worthy knight I am, and all the swords will relent and allow mine and Lady Rhiannon's use. _(She smiles proudly.)_

 **Nestor:** This one seems mostly luck-based, but, frankly, with my performances in these physical-based challenges, I could use a luck-based challenge. I'd like for the Orange pair to win a challenge, not just for Invincibility, but so we can make sure we get at least one of our targets at risk.

 **Ginger:** I've always been more into sci-fi than fantasy, so my experience with swords is incredibly limited. At least with sci-fi, I can make strides towards turning it into just "sci". Which I am.

* * *

"On your marks... get set... GO!" Chris shouted.

The four pairs immediately split off in different directions to grab swords. The Yieldless Yellow pair tried for one, only for it to not budge at all.

"Go to!" Hildegard lamented.

"There are, like, a bunch more swords," Rhiannon encouraged. "No need to get angry at each one that doesn't work."

The girls moved on to the closest sword to them from there, which relented a little upon being pulled.

"Should we stick with this one, or should we try to find another, easier one?" Rhiannon asked.

"We've already loosened it. No sense in leaving it there for someone else to claim!" Hildegard figured.

"Fair enough," Rhiannon agreed as the two girls pulled as hard as they could on the sword.

Meanwhile, the Overheat Orange pair had already pulled their first sword and made it back to their flag base. They cut the first rope restraining the flag.

"Luck be a lady tonight," Virgil smirked.

"Screw that. Luck be a hot guy. What kind of guys are your type, Virgil?" Nestor winked.

"I'm... not really comfortable discussing that," Virgil admitted awkwardly.

"I totally get you," Nestor nodded.

"So, where do we put the swords we've already used?" Virgil asked Chris.

"Just leaving it there is fine. The other pairs won't be allowed to use it," Chris explained.

Nestor and Virgil shared a glance and shrugged before Virgil stabbed the sword into the ground by the orange flag base. The two ran off to get another sword.

The Yieldless Yellow and Pyro Purple Pairs arrived just as the Overheat Orange pair left, each able to cut their first rope.

"So far, so good," Shadya told the Yieldless Yellow Pair.

"Good luck!" Rhiannon winked.

The girls all ran off to get more swords of their own.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Yeah, I'm still not entirely to-grips with the fact that I like guys. Given how most people tend to react, I've come to associate it in my mind as something I shouldn't be feeling, you know? I think Blueberry was trying to normalize it for me, but... I don't know. _(He blushes.)_

* * *

The Blazing Blue Pair pulled on a sword, but to no avail.

"Ugh! This is the fourth sword we've tried!" Gretchen complained.

"How do they keep them so tightly stuck in there?" Mark wondered.

"Maybe they're welded shut at the bottom? I don't know," Gretchen guessed.

Mark knocked over the base of the sword he had just pulled on. No evidence of welding was present.

"Let's just move on to a different one," Gretchen huffed as she put the knocked-over base back upright.

"At least twenty of them have to come out," Mark deduced. "Since there are four bases with five ropes each."

"Wow, a calculator function and everything? You really are advanced," Gretchen snarked.

The two ended up near the Pyro Purple Pair.

"No luck?" Ginger asked.

"Not so far," Mark confirmed as he started pulling on a new sword.

"If it's not coming out right away, it's not worth it," Gretchen told him.

"No, wait, this one is getting looser," Mark insisted. "I can feel it."

Mark pulled and pulled, but his hands slipped, sending his fists into his face. His nose began to bleed.

"See? I told you to just leave it," Gretchen scolded. "Also, wait, you can bleed?"

Ginger stared at Mark, her eyes wide and her mouth agape.

"Come on, Ginger," Shadya urged with a sword in her hand.

"Mark can't bleed!" Ginger panicked. "I never designed him to bleed!"

"I don't care. We have a challenge to win," Shadya said shortly as she tugged her handcuffed arm and began to set out.

Ginger shrieked as loud as she possibly could and resisted Shadya.

"What's going on?!" Rhiannon asked as she and Hildegard ran up to the pairs.

"WHY IS MARK BLEEDING?!" Ginger cried.

"Indeed, why art thou bleeding?" Hildegard asked suspiciously.

All eyes fell on Mark, who swallowed a lump in his throat.

"If you expect me to know why I'm bleeding, I'm afraid I can't help you," Mark told them. "Anything I know about myself has come from self-reflection and what Ginger has told me." He turned to Ginger. "Did you... lie to me about being your robot?"

"YOU ARE MY CREATION!" Ginger snapped. "I SPENT COUNTLESS SLEEPLESS NIGHTS BUILDING YOU!"

Shadya sighed, took the sword in her hand, and ran its tip across Ginger's cheek.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Mark chastised.

A small tear ran through Ginger's flesh, but no blood spilled from it.

"Just as I thought," Shadya said bluntly. "It appears as though Ginger is a robot, and I can only presume Mark is _her_ creator. Now that this is solved, let us move on to continue the challenge."

"NO!" Ginger cried, her feet planted firmly in the ground.

"Yeah, if that's true, that's kind of massive news," Gretchen scowled. "Does this mean that everything about you having no memory of your past, not remembering your name, or your family, or anything... was all a lie?"

Mark began breathing heavily in and out. He looked at Rhiannon, then Hildegard, then Shadya, then Ginger, then Gretchen.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mark:** This isn't happening. I was doing so well. Everyone believed what we told them! Why does it have to come crashing down _now_?!

* * *

"Alright... fine," Mark said quietly. He wiped the blood from his lip. "Before I continue, I want to ask all of you to stop and take a deep breath. I don't want anybody worked up right now. This is not that bad."

"Not that bad?!" Rhiannon scoffed. "You just spent the past two and a half weeks lying to us about everything!"

"It was all necessary," Mark frowned. "...Recall everything Ginger has ever said about her experiment with me. That she wanted to monitor my progress as she sent me into a social situation to see if I could overcome the uncanny valley and be indistinguishable from humans."

"So you fully admit to being the person who built Ginger," Gretchen pointed out.

"Frankly, I'll take the fact that nobody suspected that I was faking amnesia or robothood as a compliment to my acting skills," Mark chuckled nervously. "I didn't think I was _that_ convincing."

"You have no right laughing right now!" Ginger shouted. " _I_ was supposed to be the one who shaped the future! ME!"

"And you _are_ ," Mark insisted. "You are the very first of what I can only hope will be the future of robots living among us. You are my Gynoid Imitating Normal Girl Expression Routines. Ginger... You should be proud of what you represent."

"We can talk about this later," Shadya said impatiently. "The Orange pair is pulling ahead!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Ginger screeched. "I NEED ANSWERS!"

"What else could you possibly need to know?" Shadya growled.

"Well, 'Mark' is a name we made up because he said he couldn't remember his name," Rhiannon recalled.

"Verily! What is thy real name, O king of deception?" Hildegard leered.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather you continue to think of me as 'Mark'," Mark frowned. "Giving you something else to call me would just reinforce the false idea that I'm claiming to be someone I'm not."

Hildegard tugged at the nearest sword, which left its base instantly. She pointed it at Mark. "Tell us now, foul beast!"

"Alright, alright!" Mark winced. "My real name... is Godfrey Wakeman. Anything that Ginger has told you about her past... that's my past. I figured it would be the most believable option for a backstory since I'm already so familiar with it."

"She had a backstory?" Gretchen questioned.

"I _have_ a backstory!" Ginger insisted. "This is all just a bad dream! Someone hit me so I can wake up!"

"And hey, what was this about a false idea that you're claiming to be someone you're not?" Rhiannon frowned. "Because that's very clearly the case!"

"I'll confess, anything about not remembering my past, or about being a robot, and all the angst I expressed with it, that was an act. I needed to seem like I had some reason to be accepted onto the show without giving away that I was the roboticist and Ginger was my robot," Godfrey explained. "But all the relationships I've formed, the laughs I've shared, the time we've spent together... that was all real. I'm not some big bad guy who tried to deceive you. I just needed to ensure that this experiment went off without a hitch."

"So all those times you and Ginger snuck off so she could check on you were just you checking on her?" Gretchen figured.

"Yes," Godfrey confirmed. "That's why we needed to do so out of sight from everyone else, even after everyone 'found out I was a robot'."

"Then why do I remember so vividly that _I_ was running diagnostics on _you_?!" Ginger accused. A look of realization hit her face. "You... tampered with my memories!"

"I had no choice!" Godfrey insisted. "I needed to maintain the illusion by any means necessary!"

"You're despicable," Rhiannon spat.

"I-I will take you all sympathizing with Ginger as a testament to my success at making her as humanlike as possible," Godfrey rationalized with an awkward smile.

"This challenge is over!" Chris's voice sounded over the bullhorn.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Shadya growled.

"Please meet back up at where the challenge started!" Chris's voice added.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** _(She is slicing gashes across her arm with one of the swords while screaming loudly.)_ I FEEL PAIN BUT I CANNOT BLEED! WHY CAN'T I BLEED?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

The eight competing contestants met up back at where the challenge had begun. Their handcuffs had already been removed.

"...Is Mystery Pop bleeding?" Virgil asked. "I didn't know he _could_ bleed."

"I'll fill you in later," Godfrey sighed.

"Welp, since three of our pairs were off doing god knows what for the whole challenge, that left the Overheat Orange pair pretty much uncontested in today's challenge," Chris chuckled. "So, of course, they are our winners tonight."

"Damn right we are," Nestor boasted.

"Not only are you two safe tonight, but you get to send one pair to be at risk tonight," Chris said. "Who's that going to be?"

"We decided long before the challenge that it's going to be Ginger and Shadya," Nestor answered.

"That's right," Virgil confirmed.

"Oh my fucking god," Shadya muttered harshly.

"And, of course, I'll need you two to invite one pair to join you in the Tent of Banquets," Chris continued.

Nestor and Virgil whispered amongst themselves for a bit before coming to a decision.

"We've decided to invite the Purples to eat with us as well," Virgil stated.

"We have," Nestor confirmed.

"Cool cool. That's all for today's challenge!" Chris announced. "I'll see you guys later tonight!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I could not care less about who is a robot, and who is a human being. All of them are getting in my way, and I wish I could eliminate everyone in this game right now!

* * *

Ginger, Nestor, Shadya, and Virgil all convened in the Tent of Banquets. Ginger had piled as much food as she could on her plate and dug in.

"Hey now, we're all hungry, Gingersnap," Virgil reprimanded.

"It turns out that Ginger is actually Mark's robot, so I don't think she actually is hungry," Shadya stated.

"No!" Ginger insisted with her mouth full. "I'm a human being who needs food just like you guys!"

"Wait. Hold the actual phone," Nestor grinned. "You're telling me that this whole 'robot' story goes even deeper?! Give me the goss, girlfriend! I'm a needy boy with a blog over here!"

"Mark is just undergoing denial!" Ginger insisted. "So he's made up some fake story about how I'm his robot! Because he wants to feel like he's a real human person!"

"Dude was bleeding," Virgil pointed out.

"No!" Ginger cried. "No, he wasn't!"

"You see what I have to deal with now," Shadya told the Overheat Orange Pair. "Now, I presume you wished to speak with us about the upcoming vote. The Yellow and Blue pairs are the only potential targets."

"Vote Yellow. This Mark drama is too good!" Nestor said eagerly. "Wait, does this mean he never lost his memory? Does he know his true name?!"

"If you think I'm voting for Yellow, you're insane," Shadya spat.

"We're voting for Yellow!" Ginger insisted. "I need Mark to explain to me how he was able to make it look like he was bleeding!"

"I don't suppose that cut on your face is of any note?" Virgil asked.

"No, it isn't!" Ginger shouted.

"To reiterate: the Pyro Purple Pair will be voting for the Blazing Blue Pair," Shadya said. "We'll send in Gretchen if it makes this one feel any better. It makes no difference to me."

"Sounds like it does make a difference if you're so adamant on not voting for Yellow, but what do I know?" Virgil quipped.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** So the mystery behind Mystery Pop has finally been solved, eh? I've got to admit, I do feel like he did us dirty by pretending like he was some lost kid who didn't know what he was doing, but I'm certainly not as mad at him as, say, Gingersnap is. Besides, he's been taking my side for pretty much all of this island. I'm not about to push any of my allies away.

 **Nestor:** Ginger gave me all the deets! I know I said mystery contestants were polarizing, but this is going to warrant, like, three whole blog posts even _before_ getting to the fan reaction! Calling him "Godfrey" is going to take some getting used to. Especially because Ginger keeps insisting on calling him "Mark". Poor girl's in the worst denial right now.

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon sat in the shelter.

"Well, we can only vote for the Blue pair tonight," Rhiannon mentioned. "What do you think the Purple pair will do?"

"I cannot imagine that Lady Shadya would choose to endanger us," Hildegard figured.

"The biggest question mark for me is whether or not Ginger is going to want to get rid of Mar- Godfrey, or whether or not she's going to want to keep him safe," Rhiannon thought aloud.

"She seemed inconsolably cross with him," Hildegard stated. "Even now, I can hear her screams from within the Tent of Banquets."

Rhiannon glanced at the Tent. Sure enough, the faint sound of Ginger's shouting reached as far as the shelter.

"It may be safe to assume that the Purple pair will vote for the Blue pair," Hildegard chuckled.

"I'm not sure it's ever safe to assume something like that," Rhiannon frowned. "If we do get sent in to duel... Shadya would be nearly impossible to beat, but I'm not sure I can pick Ginger to duel in good conscience."

"What does conscience have to do with it?!" Hildegard asked. "Ginger may be upset, but this has not prevented us from voting for certain people in the past!"

"No one's been this upset before!" Rhiannon sympathized.

"All this talk is irrelevant either way," Hildegard dismissed. "I've faith that Lady Shadya will elect to keep us safe, and that Ginger would wish revenge upon... Godfrey, is it?"

"Maybe you're right," Rhiannon sighed. "I don't know, seeing someone _that_ upset is really getting to me."

"Take a rest, Lady Rhiannon. I will catch us some food," Hildegard offered.

"Maybe I should lie down for a bit," Rhiannon agreed. "Thanks, Hilde."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Ginger's brain is not the same as a human brain, so her reaction may just be a result of that. Godfrey ought fix this sooner than later, as it's proving to be most irritating!

 **Rhiannon:** The way Ginger reacted to this big Godfrey reveal... It's not the first time I've seen someone in a state like that. Obviously, Ginger's circumstance isn't quite as bad as that time, but still... No one should ever have to feel like that.

* * *

Gretchen met up with Shadya away from camp.

"Let me guess: the Orange pair tried to throw me under the bus," Gretchen assumed.

"On the contrary. Apparently, Mark, or Godfrey, or whoever he is, is too interesting for Nestor to make him their target," Shadya spat.

"Oh, that really grinds my gears!" Gretchen fumed. "I'm supposed to be the protagonist of this story! Am I not worth being their arch-nemesis anymore?! What the hell?!"

"You may be happy to know that I fully intend to vote for your pair, and to select Godfrey to duel," Shadya said.

"And what about Her Highness the Robot?" Gretchen scoffed.

"That's the difficult part," Shadya sighed. "Ginger insists on keeping Godfrey around because she 'needs answers'. As if she can't get answers later. There's a game to focus on, here, and she is losing sight of that."

"Yeah, sadly, I can't say with confidence that Godfrey's going to want to put Ginger up to duel, either," Gretchen griped. "Ugh, I hate that name. I'm going to keep calling him Mark."

"Whatever his name is, he is an incredibly negative influence on Ginger, and I would love nothing more than to be rid of him as soon as possible," Shadya said.

"You're telling me," Gretchen concurred.

"That's right, if Godfrey left, then Wisdom would join your pair," Shadya recalled.

"Of course, if that did happen, then my influence would only reach the Blue pair," Gretchen figured. "What do you say we gang up on the Orange pair from here on out?"

"After Godfrey leaves, of course," Shadya answered.

"Of course," Gretchen acknowledged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Now that I think about it, any defiance Ginger has exhibited has, in fact, be linked to her relationship with Godfrey. His influence on the game has always irked me, but now it is no longer something of which I can tolerate the continuation.

 **Gretchen:** I will not just sit around and let these two bozos try and claim my rightful title of protagonist! Obviously, Shadya thinks she's a protagonist, too, and that's pretty annoying, but I can deal with her later. Mark and Ginger need to _go_.

* * *

Ginger sat at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius, facing away from the path leading up to the peak.

"Ginger?" Wisdom asked. "What are you doing up here?"

"Avoiding everyone," Ginger said bluntly.

"Should I leave you alone?" Wisdom asked.

"...Did you hear about Mark's big lie?" Ginger asked.

"About how he faked amnesia and then faked being your robot?" Wisdom made sure.

"No, that _is_ the lie!" Ginger insisted. "...I want to cry. I think this is what wanting to cry feels like. But I can't cry."

Wisdom trepidatiously sat next to Ginger and wrapped her arm around Ginger's waist.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ginger grunted.

"Is this not comforting?" Wisdom winced. "Is it uncomfortable?"

"I feel like it should be comforting, but I feel... nothing," Ginger said.

The two sat in silence before Wisdom spoke back up.

"Do you want to hear what Godfrey told me when we all thought he was a robot?" Wisdom asked.

"Do I?" Ginger asked hesitantly.

"Oh, how exactly did he word it?" Wisdom tried to remember.

"I remember what I said if you care to hear it from my lips," Godfrey offered as he walked up to the two.

"What makes you think you have the right to talk down to me?" Ginger growled.

"I'm not trying to talk down to you, Ginger," Godfrey sighed. "Quite the opposite. I want to understand how you feel. It kills me to see you this angry, especially at me."

"You're just a robot. You'll never fully understand human emotions," Ginger hissed.

"Is that how you feel about robots?" Godfrey frowned. "What I told Wisdom before is that assuming that people will dislike you for things that you dislike about yourself won't do you any good. Look at right now. You're being comforted, and I know there are several others out here who would do something similar. I know that... today... has been a big shock for us all. I just don't want anyone to resent me, especially you, Ginger."

"Perhaps you should leave her be for now?" Wisdom suggested. "Giving her some space should help her process this, right?"

Godfrey nodded in understanding. "Whenever you're ready to talk to me, Ginger, I'll listen."

He made his way back down the path.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** Ginger... dare I say it, she's almost like a daughter to me. I know that's strange, since I'm seventeen years old, and she was designed to look my age, but spending as long as I have been designing, building, and programming her has led to some sort of attachment that I've never felt for anyone else. It's tearing me apart that she's feeling everything she's feeling. If I'd just never gotten that damn nosebleed...

 **Wisdom:** Does Godfrey truly understand how Ginger feels? Could anyone? He had to pretend like being a robot bothered him, right? So he must have some idea of what she's going through, right? Oh, why must this all be so complicated? _(She bites her thumbnail.)_

 **Ginger:** I have memories of bleeding. Not during the game, but in the past. I guess those were all fabricated. Why am I so fixated on bleeding, in particular? It's not like adding a vascular system to me will make me any more human. Not that I'm not human, but...

* * *

Night had fallen, and several tiki torches were arranged in a large circle and lit not far from the shelter. Within the circle of torches were eight camp chairs - two of the four pair colors - also arranged in a circle, with the respective contestants seated in them. Chris stood in the very center.

"Alright, contestants, it's time for another vote!" Chris said enthusiastically. "Who's ready to find out which pair will be dueling against the Pyro Purple Pair?"

"I, for one, am interested to see if the big discourse of today's challenge will affect what happens," Virgil commented.

"Oh my gosh, please!" Nestor agreed.

"Hey, let's not make light of this," Rhiannon condemned.

"The Overheat Orange Pair has Invincibility, and the Pyro Purple Pair are already going to duel," Chris recapped. "The vote can't tie with tonight's setup, so once you've cast your vote, then that's your vote. Hehaha."

"Yes, I can only imagine how torn the Yieldless Yellow and Blazing Blue Pairs are," Shadya snarked.

"Someone's eager," Chris joked. "Yieldless Yellow Pair, start us off, won't you?"

Hildegard and Rhiannon stood up and made their way to the nearby voting lectern.

* * *

After all three eligible pairs cast their votes, Chris had grabbed the urn full of voting parchments and returned to the eight waiting contestants.

"Alright, I've got the votes right here," Chris said. "This should be a close one. Let's see how it pans out. First vote..."

...

...

...

"Blazing Blue!"

Chris revealed a vote which had Godfrey's and Gretchen's names written on it in different handwriting.

"So you do recognize Mark as Godfrey?" Rhiannon made sure.

"If that's what everyone's going to start calling him, then I see no reason not to," Chris grinned. "Second vote..."

...

...

...

"Yieldless Yellow!"

The second vote, sure enough, had the words 'Yellow' and 'Pair' written on it in different handwriting.

"And the last vote..." Chris began.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Chris revealed the final vote, which said 'Blazing' and 'Blue' written in different handwriting.

Rhiannon breathed a sigh of relief. Hildegard nodded as if she expected this. Gretchen smirked. Godfrey shook his head.

"I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm definitely disappointed," Godfrey expressed.

"And so, tonight's duel will be the Pyro Purple Pair versus the Blazing Blue Pair!" Chris confirmed. "But who specifically from each pair will be dueling?"

"Yeah, I wonder," Virgil remarked.

"Total mystery," Chris played along. "Blazing Blue Pair, why don't you go decide who from Pyro Purple will duel?"

Godfrey and Gretchen made their way back to the voting lectern.

* * *

Both at-risk pairs had cast their votes, and Shadya and Gretchen held their votes.

"Okay, ladies... reveal!" Chris instructed.

Shadya revealed that her pair had chosen Gretchen to duel, while Gretchen revealed that her pair had chosen Ginger to duel.

"Wait, what?!" Gretchen gasped. "What the hell!"

"I could say the same!" Ginger snapped. "Why are you trying so hard to screw me over, Mark?!"

"Forget that!" Gretchen interrupted. "Shadya! I thought we agreed to send both the robot nerds to duel!"

"I never explicitly agreed to do that," Shadya said. "Having you duel was the only way I could get Ginger to agree to not endanger the Yellow pair."

"Ginger and Gretchen, you two will be dueling for your life in this game," Chris began. "Shadya and Godfrey must stick around to witness the duel, but the others can go do something else if they wish."

"What about Wisdom?" Gretchen asked. "Can she watch?"

"Where is Wisdom, anyway?" Rhiannon asked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** ...When you zip a zipper, do you _become_ the zipper?

* * *

"She can come to watch if she feels like it," Chris said. "Anyway, tonight's duel is as follows."

Chris directed everyone's attention to a massive block of interconnected pipes, nets, and plastic walls a fair distance away from the voting ceremony.

"When did that get there?" Hildegard asked.

"While you guys were voting," Chris handwaved. "This duel's pretty easy to understand. You just need to finagle your way to the top of the huge block. Easier said than done, of course. There's a good amount of dead ends and hard-to-reach spots. The first contestant to make her way to the top will have won the duel!"

"The duel is a McDonald's Playplace?" Gretchen commented flatly.

"Uh, no, our interns were hard at work building this from the ground up!" Chris insisted. "Show some respect, gawd!"

"Let's just get this over with," Ginger grunted.

"Alright, if there's no further ado, this duel has... begun!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I refuse to lose this game. I'm not going to let Mark have the last laugh on me! He will _not_ screw my game over just to prove that we aren't joined at the hip or whatever! I'm going to win this duel, and then I'm going to win this game, and nobody can stop me!

 **Gretchen:** Ugh, I can't believe this! I have to duel now because of a bunch of stuff that's completely beyond my control. I guess that does make me the underdog in this situation, but it's still annoying!

* * *

Ginger and Gretchen bolted towards the big plastic cube.

"Leave this game to the real protagonist, kid!" Gretchen taunted.

"If you think anyone cares about your own self-obsessed metatalk, then you're the kid here!" Ginger taunted back.

Ginger narrowed her eyes before shoving Ginger over. This allowed her first access to the block maze.

"That's robophobic!" Ginger shouted as she stood back up.

"That's not a thing!" Gretchen's voice sounded from inside the block.

Ginger made it to the block and made her way inside.

"I can confirm that robophobia is a thing, by the way," Godfrey commented.

"You aren't even a robot," Rhiannon pointed out.

"No, but I have felt hated on the basis that someone thought I was a robot," Godfrey frowned. "It didn't matter that I'm not actually a robot since she believed that I was."

"You'll have to forgive me if I don't exactly feel bad for your lies catching up to you," Rhiannon retorted.

Gretchen climbed up several horizontal pipes and found herself on a higher layer of the block.

"Ugh, I haven't been in one of these in years," Gretchen grimaced.

She looked around to see multiple different directions she could go. She picked one direction and crawled through it.

"Sure would be nice if we could see what was going on," Virgil commented as he began sucking on a lollipop.

"They likely have cameras all throughout the box, but that isn't doing us any good," Shadya mentioned.

"Do you suppose that being a robot would make Gingersnap more or less likely to navigate her way through?" Virgil presented.

"She's never had any issues before, but then, she's never had to find her way through a multi-layered maze before," Shadya answered.

Ginger climbed up a net and made her way into the pathway it led to, only for it to be a dead end.

"Come on, what was the point of that?!" Ginger griped as she backed out.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** This is definitely one of the more annoying challenges I've ever done. I just hope Gretchen's having a harder time than I am.

* * *

Gretchen found herself at a dead end.

"Oh, come on!" Gretchen shouted. "That's the second dead end in a row! Stupid 3D maze..."

Gretchen backed up once again.

"Of all the challenges to be wearing a skirt," Gretchen grunted as she tried to shimmy backward while moving her legs as little as possible.

She made it back to the point where she had climbed up and allowed herself to drop back down.

"Ugh, alright, that place was a bust," Gretchen told herself. "Now where do I go?"

Gretchen looked around to try and remember where she had already been. She committed to a direction and went that way.

"This is taking too long," Nestor complained.

"Patience is a virtue," Hildegard reminded him.

"You know what else is a virtue? Not keeping a bitch waiting!" Nestor huffed. "I wish I could play, like, Yu-Gi-Oh or something. Virgil told me all about it, and now I want to try it!"

"Dost thou have naught else to do but make out-of-place references that a scant few would understand?" Hildegard sighed.

"Come on, you've heard of Yu-Gi-Oh," Nestor scolded.

Ginger had found a new path to take and crawled through it.

"This has to be the way... This has to be the way!" Ginger repeated to herself.

She immediately ran into another dead end.

"Damn it!" Ginger swore.

Ginger backed up and went in a different direction. She found herself at another dead end.

"Everything that has happened today has led me to believe that there is no God," Ginger said flatly.

Ginger looked up and saw a way she could climb upward.

"Oh, hey, never mind," Ginger grinned.

She climbed up the net on the opposite side of where she'd faced, only to bonk her head on the ceiling. She looked around to find that the way up did not lead to any further road.

"God damn it!" Ginger shouted.

Wisdom wandered back to where the other contestants waited.

"What have I missed?" Wisdom asked.

"Gretchen versus Ginger. They need to find their way to the top of the big block," Godfrey explained.

"Mm... So either you or Shadya will be my new partner?" Wisdom deduced.

"At this point, you'll probably be more reliable of a partner than Ginger," Shadya said.

Wisdom gave a flattered smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Gretchen:** Whoever designed this thing needs to be lynched in the balls. I know I'm supposed to overcome ordeals, but this is just pointlessly annoying!

* * *

"Ugh, this one really might have been a mistake," Chris muttered as he glanced at his watch.

He looked at the block again to see a figure emerging from the top.

"Oh, wait, did someone just win?!" Chris asked excitedly. "Crap, I can't see who it is from here."

The figure jumped off the top of the block, leaving her frozen in pain for a few seconds before hobbling back over to the other contestants.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"That entire duel was bullshit," Ginger spat.

"Congratulations, Ginger!" Chris announced. "You have won your right to stay in the game!"

"You're damn well right I did!" Ginger shouted indignantly. She marched up to Godfrey. "You're going down. I hope you realize that."

"Ginger, I don't want to be in conflict with you, but you're going to force my hand," Godfrey told her.

"Are you going to tell Gretchen that the duel is over?" Wisdom asked.

"While it would be a lot funnier to just leave her there until she figures her way out, we do have to get things moving," Chris conceded. He took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button.

* * *

Inside the block, certain parts of the pathways were illuminated and had arrows pointing.

"No... No, I didn't-" Gretchen shuddered.

She slowly trudged her way through where the arrows pointed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** What? You mean Gretchen _wasn't_ the protagonist and she, too, can get unceremoniously dropped from the game at final nine? I'm shocked! Floored! Positively gobsmacked! _(He fails to stifle his laughter.)_

* * *

Gretchen, still shaking, made her way over to the Dock of Shame.

"I don't give a damn about trying to be 'subversive', you can't lose the protagonist this soon!" Gretchen insisted.

"Hey, you could have won the duel. It's not my fault you didn't," Chris shrugged.

"Frankly, it's a miracle she made it this far," Virgil whispered to the others. Nestor laughed.

"So, uh, I know we didn't talk a whole lot, but you seemed like you were good at the game, and I'm sorry you have to go," Rhiannon told Gretchen.

"See, thank you, at least someone understands the tragic loss that this season has suffered!" Gretchen emphasized. "I just hope that you all find it in you to console poor Rhiannon through the horrible heartbreak she's undergoing right now!"

"Oh, and Gretchen, don't forget to give Wisdom your bandana!" Chris reminded her.

Gretchen shot Chris the dirtiest look she could.

"What? You were so eager to get yours. I can only imagine Wisdom is just as eager," Chris prodded.

"Not really?" Wisdom said.

"Shh," Chris shushed. "Come on Gretchen. Give it over, or you'll never get to be in All-Stars."

Gretchen reluctantly tore her bandana off of her head and threw it to Wisdom, who caught it.

"Screw all of you!" Gretchen ranted as she made her way down the Dock of Shame and onto the Boat of Losers. "This is not fair. Ginger has to have Roomba location memory or something..."

The Boat of Losers drove off.

"Well, Wisdom's officially a part of the Blazing Blue Pair now," Chris said. "You're really running through partners, eh Godfrey?"

"I'm not trying to be," Godfrey said.

"Well, anyway, that's all there is for tonight," Chris told the contestants. "The shelter's got to be getting roomier at the very least. I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** It's decided. I'm going to win this game, not because Mark wants me to, not so I can get the cash prize or whatever, but so I can prove that I can! To prove that I'm just as much a person as everyone else! My goal was always to establish a world where humans and robots could live alongside each other as equals, and that's exactly what I'm going to do!

 **Godfrey:** Well, today didn't go excellently for me, but I'm still not out of this. I knew I was going to upset people when they inevitably found out that I was putting on a facade. I need to be able to adapt to this. I think I can. Wisdom and I are both kind of on the outs right now, but I think I at least have the Orange pair on my side.

* * *

Chris stood at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"Just when you thought things couldn't get any tenser, it seems like some more secrets have come out!" Chris grinned giddily. "How will this drama bomb affect the dynamics of the contestants? Will the challenge throw a wrench in any more plans? And who will be the next to duel for their lives? You're going to have to find, out next time, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

Overheat Orange: Purple

Yieldless Yellow: Blue

Blazing Blue: Yellow

Pyro Purple: Blue

* * *

 **Overheat Orange Pair:**

Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Yieldless Yellow Pair:**

Hildegard - The Paladin

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

 **Blazing Blue Pair:**

Godfrey - The Mysterious Roboticist

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Pyro Purple Pair:**

Ginger - The Snarky Robot

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist_

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: If ever there was a divisive character I've written in recent memory, it's going to have to be Gretchen. She was definitely the kind of character that I'm not surprised was pretty hit-or-miss with readers, since delusional villains, when played for laughs, are going to depend entirely on your sense of humor to hit the right notes. I enjoyed giving her an edgier sense of humor and having her play up the protagonist thing every once in a while to cartoonish lengths that I generally don't tend to go to._

 _I will say that Gretchen was going to make it farther, but I felt like she had run her course, and obviously, priorities were going to shift when the Godfrey reveal ended up happening. I didn't want Gretchen just telling the same old jokes over and over, and while she definitely did have development going for her, it wasn't really going as well as I'd hoped, and I like to think I know when to cut my losses._


	19. All Women Are Queens

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius. "In our last episode, the reality of how few options there really were and which options should be explored were on the contestants' minds. Deals were being made, alliances were being solidified, tested, and broken, and everyone was looking out for number one. Even Wisdom, who resided in limbo, reached out to the likes of Shadya, Rhiannon, and Mark. Of course, tensions also ran high, in particular between Hildegard and Virgil, and Ginger and Shadya.

"The challenge had the pairs pulling swords out of bases to try and chop enough ropes to raise their flag. Most of the contestants forgot that, of course, because Mark ended up with a nosebleed, which robots aren't really supposed to do. Hehaha. Ginger freaked out, and it was ultimately revealed that Mark - or should I say, Godfrey - is a human being, and Ginger is actually _his_ robot! That definitely shook things up. While everyone was distracted, the Overheat Orange Pair ended up with the W. They chose the Pyro Purple Pair to duel, and the vote settled, unsurprisingly, on the Blazing Blue Pair.

"The duelists for the night were Ginger and Gretchen, and their goal was to make it through a 3D maze block. Both of them ran into their share of dead ends, but Ginger's determination brought her through. Gretchen ended up walking down the Dock of Shame, and Wisdom ended up replacing her on the Blazing Blue Pair.

"Who will win today's challenge, and who will be forced into a duel tonight? Grab some popcorn and find out, ladies and germs! This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Godfrey and Wisdom had gone out to forage for food.

"Do you have any ideas going forward?" Wisdom asked.

"I guess my priority right now is to deal with the Yellow pair," Godfrey answered. "I've never been particularly close to either of them, and I think Rhiannon, in particular, has grown to dislike me as of late."

Wisdom nodded. "Did Gretchen ever tell you of any plans involving the Yellow, Blue, and Purple pairs coming together to target the Orange pair?"

"She did not," Godfrey confirmed. "Which, I can't say I'm surprised she didn't tell me. Virgil and Nestor are probably the two people I trust the most."

"Is Ginger still not speaking with you?" Wisdom asked.

"Nope," Godfrey answered. "I might try to talk to Shadya later and see where her head is at."

"Do you think we can trust Shadya?" Wisdom wondered.

"I don't think we have any other options if we want a majority," Godfrey conceded.

"Do you think Shadya would work with me given that I have voted against her multiple times in the past?" Wisdom asked.

"I mean, so have I," Godfrey assured her. "And with the numbers dwindling, she's going to want as many people on her side as she can get."

"But would she turn on the Yellow pair?" Wisdom doubted. "Shadya has cited them as her most trustworthy allies, you know?"

"I'll do whatever it takes to get ahead," Godfrey said. "I guess, for now, we should figure out exactly what it's going to take."

"Well, don't be a stranger, alright?" Wisdom told him. "I really think we could work well together, don't you?"

"You aren't worried that people would shun you for siding with the big bad liar?" Godfrey mentioned with a bitter chuckle.

"How many friends do I have left in this game?" Wisdom pointed out. "Could having you as my ally possibly put me in a worse position? Especially if we're going to be a pair?"

"Fair enough," Godfrey said with a slight smile. "Then let's do whatever we can to get to the end."

He held his hand out to shake, which Wisdom reciprocated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I just need to figure out who is willing to work with me, who those people are targeting, and which side is going to be the best for my game going forward. I imagine most people will be keeping me at arm's length since I did betray a lot of people's trust. And if people can't trust me, then I can't trust them. It's not an easy position to be in.

 **Wisdom:** So Godfrey only really trusts the Orange pair, hm? Is it worth siding with them when they don't trust me? Would it be possible to follow through on my offer to Shadya and Rhiannon? Will the conflict between Ginger and Godfrey get in the way of that? ...Could I possibly remedy this conflict?

* * *

Nestor and Virgil sat on the edge of the Dock of Shame with fishing poles in hand.

"Well, after our delightful conversation, I'm not entirely sure we can trust Spearmint at all going forward," Virgil mentioned.

"Rhiannon gave me a counter-offer to throw the Blue pair under the bus when I talked to her," Nestor included.

"The Blue pair?" Virgil asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, this was before the whole Godfrey thing, too," Nestor added. "She said something about how well they were playing the middle and how they had too much power."

"Honestly, considering how Gingersnap _still_ doesn't want Mystery Pop in danger in spite of everything, Cherry Pie may be onto something," Virgil figured. "Which is not to say that I want Mystery Pop gone, of course. In fact, I think that just solidifies that I want the Yellow pair dealt with as soon as possible."

"I feel you, I really do, but are they really a higher priority right now than the Purple pair?" Nestor doubted.

"I mean, we've got to think realistically, here," Virgil posited. "The Purples have dueled twice on this island alone, and both times they've won. Not to mention both of them won a duel on the last island, too."

"They aren't infallible, boo. Nobody is," Nestor insisted.

"No, but if we're going to be taking shots at this alliance, I'd feel more comfortable going after someone like Cherry Pie who isn't as challenge-oriented yet still poses a big threat to us," Virgil explained.

"Rhiannon isn't that much of a threat," Nestor denied. "She gave us an offer. That's a lot more than I can say about Ginger or Shadya."

"I think we should talk to the Blue pair about this," Virgil proposed. "They are our allies, after all. Or, at least Mystery Pop is. I'm still not entirely sure how badly he wants Gingersnap gone."

"I'm not sure we can discount Wisdom as an ally at this point," Nestor argued. "It's the final eight, and there's already a very clear alliance of four that's working against us. But I agree; talking it over with the Blue pair should help us. I can talk to Wisdom if you really don't like her that much."

"Honestly, if we are going to work together, it might be best if I try to bury the hatchet with her," Virgil compromised. "What she pulled was a long-ass time ago. I need to let it go."

"That's a winner's attitude right there," Nestor smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I've mostly been letting the drama unfold around me ever since we merged since I didn't want to make myself an easy target when we were going to start playing with a bunch of people I barely know. Seems like that's not really going to be an option at this point, so I need to start taking the initiative once again. _(He begins eating a box of sour candy straws.)_

 **Nestor:** Last night, we really put the pedal to the metal, and we put two of our rivals into the arena, and now the season's biggest headache is gone. I'd like to continue this streak of things going our way, so we need to solidify the Blazing Blue Pair as our allies. Four heads are better than two.

* * *

Ginger sat by herself at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius. Her sleeve was rolled up and she felt over the cuts she had made across her arm the previous day.

"Oh my god!" Rhiannon gasped as she appeared before the girl. "What happened to your arm?"

"In my... emotional state yesterday, I may have tried to affirm my own humanity to myself with one of the swords from the challenge," Ginger confessed. "It still hurts, somehow, but that pain is part of what's assuring me that I'm not just another machine."

"Oh my goodness, sweetie, please don't hurt yourself," Rhiannon consoled.

"Are you going to try to hug me, too?" Ginger asked.

"Not if you don't want me to," Rhiannon assured.

"I think I'm just not programmed to feel intimacy," Ginger stated. "I'm vaguely familiar with the concept, but I just don't think I can comprehend it."

"Intimacy is a complicated emotion," Rhiannon assured her. "Do you want to be able to feel intimacy?"

"Are you hitting on me?" Ginger winced.

"Oh, no! No, I'm sorry, I just realized how that sounded," Rhiannon apologized. "I just want to understand you better. Help you come to grips with everything."

"Obviously, I want for robots to resemble humans as closely as possible," Ginger prefaced. "And while there is a part of me that is curious about what intimacy feels like, there are two reasons that I'd rather do without it. For one, I fear that having yet another emotion would be yet another weakness that could be used against me. For two, I think that would go against who I am. Human beings can be asexual, after all, and that's a part of who they are. I think the same applies to me."

"That does make sense, but you can feel intimacy without it necessarily being sexual," Rhiannon explained.

"Maybe, but I'm good without it," Ginger figured. "I guess that's strange to someone like you, who lives a life based on intimacy."

"I'll let you in on a secret," Rhiannon began. "Just like intimacy isn't necessarily always sexual, sex isn't necessarily always intimate."

"Hm, an interesting point of view," Ginger nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I've always recognized Rhiannon as a very emotional person, so it's not surprising to me that she's trying so hard to empathize with me. Frankly, I find it kind of patronizing. I know that isn't her intention, but I get the feeling that she sees me as weak, as someone she needs to protect. Screw that! I bet I could kick her ass if I wanted to!

 **Rhiannon:** Well, Ginger seems to be taking what happened a lot better than she was yesterday. That's good. I was worried that she might end up hurting herself, and I guess I was right. I just hope that doesn't end up happening again.

* * *

Hildegard and Shadya cooked several fish for lunchtime over the campfire.

"So you caught all of these yourself?" Shadya made sure.

"Verily!" Hildegard boasted. "The fishing spear was the best reward anybody won."

"Then what the hell are Nestor and Virgil doing?" Shadya grunted as she glanced at the two boys still at the Dock of Shame.

"Wasting time!" Hildegard spat. "Know that I did scold Virgil on his negligence. He did not listen."

"Unsurprising. What a disgustingly hedonistic boy." Shadya shook her head in disgust.

"He will not defeat our grand party at this rate," Hildegard chuckled.

"Perhaps not, but I'd rather see Nestor go home first," Shadya brought up.

"Oh? Do tell," Hildegard smirked.

"He's actively opposed me from day one and is clearly the more game-savvy person on the Orange pair," Shadya said simply.

"And what of the Blue pair?" Hildegard pressed.

"Ginger is adamant in keeping Godfrey around, despite the fact that she refuses to speak with him," Shadya sighed. "Obviously, he will be gone before the final four anyway, so if she insists on not targeting him, I can always take out other targets of mine until then. I'd rather see Nestor go before Godfrey, anyway."

"I could not agree more!" Hildegard declared. "Know that my holy lance in on thy side!"

"I should hope so," Shadya muttered.

"I'm sorry? Thou were a touch quiet," Hildegard prodded.

"Nothing important," Shadya dismissed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** Hildegard has earned herself fourth place in light of her previous betrayals. Ginger has earned herself third for being difficult to work with yet ultimately loyal. Rhiannon, of course, will take second place. If it were up to me, then Nestor, Godfrey, Virgil, and Wisdom would all go home in that order. Of course, with Apoy Island's obnoxious game format, even I cannot guarantee that this will happen, but I will do what I can. Which is still a lot.

 **Hildegard:** O'er time, I've come to realize that mine insistence on a leading position was childish. 'Tis not that I am unqualified, rather, forcing myself such will do no favors for mine alliance. A party can only slay monsters if it works together, after all! And I shall do my part!

* * *

Virgil found Wisdom wandering around the island on her own.

"Yo, Strawberry," Virgil greeted. "What are you up to?"

"Do I seem like I'm up to something?" Wisdom winced. "Did someone tell you I was up to something?"

"No, I'm just... mostly wondering why you're wandering aimlessly," Virgil told her.

"Have you ever been lost in your own thoughts before?" Wisdom asked. "What if Mt. Chrisuvius were to erupt? Would they willingly place us in danger of that happening? Do they think the volcano is dormant when it really isn't? How do you know if a volcano is dormant or not? What is George Wendt up to?"

"Those are all valid questions, but I'm here with a question of my own," Virgil said. "Can we trust each other going forward? Obviously, our pairs are going to have to work together if we want to get ahead. The Purple and Yellow pairs are obviously not turning on each other anytime soon, and they're all pretty big threats in their own right. I think we should work together to take them out."

"Godfrey really trusts you and Nestor, you know?" Wisdom mentioned. "As his partner, should I not place my trust in you as well? What would you say about gunning for the Yellow pair?"

"I spoke it over with Blueberry, and we were kind of torn on whether or not to go for Purple or Yellow first," Virgil explained. "I wanted Cherry Pie out in particular, so I'm glad we're on a similar page, here."

"...Do you forgive me? For voting out Jim and Louise?" Wisdom frowned.

"It's made it harder for me to trust you, but I'm not actively angry with you anymore," Virgil answered. He paused for a second. "Damn, we really are the last two Luscious Lollipops left in the game."

"Are we?" Wisdom's eyebrows raised. She thought it over. "We really are, aren't we?"

"At the final eight, I can't say it's that weird," Virgil shrugged.

"How do you think the others are doing?" Wisdom mused. "Jim, and Louise, and Dean?"

"I don't know. Usually, once someone's eliminated, they end up at some nearby spot with all the accommodations they'd need," Virgil recalled. "They're probably doing well enough. Definitely not as stressed as we are, that's for damn sure."

"But none of them have any chance of winning a million dollars, right?" Wisdom pointed out with a smirk.

Virgil laughed. "I guess you got me there."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Alright, looks like things are patched up with me and Strawberry. Excellent. Now we just need to make sure we can actually get the Yellow pair at risk. Either we get one of our pairs to win the challenge and directly put them in, or, if Purple wins the challenge, we can just vote Yellow in easily. And if Yellow wins, we just vote for Purple. See, it's all working out.

 **Wisdom:** Virgil really wants to trust me, huh? I don't want to be mistrusted, but can I work with the Orange pair? Godfrey wants to work with Ginger at the very least, and I've reached out to her and Shadya, so wouldn't it make more sense to work with the Purple pair? With the Yellow pair, that's a majority, right?

* * *

Godfrey and Shadya were the first two to begin eating lunch as Hildegard went to summon everyone else.

"It's about time you get to actually eat a fish I've prepared for you," Shadya jested.

"Believe me, I wasn't a fan of pretending like I didn't have to eat, either," Godfrey chuckled hollowly.

"How did you sustain yourself?" Shadya asked curiously.

"I would grab something to eat before performing diagnostics on Ginger at night," Godfrey explained.

"And I imagine she does not actually need to eat?" Shadya inquired.

"She does not," Godfrey confirmed. "While I hope to implement a sense of taste into her someday, relying on food for energy is cumbersome when the solar-powered method has worked out well. Really, everything she ever told you about me applies to her."

"I see," Shadya nodded.

"How is she holding up, by the way?" Godfrey asked.

"I am the wrong person to ask," Shadya said bluntly. "I refuse to allow sentiment to hamper my game, so I do not concern myself with such things."

"Every time I see that cut on her face, it tears me apart," Godfrey choked. "Am I too sentimental about her?"

"Again, I'm the wrong person to ask, because my answer is a resounding 'yes'," Shadya told him. "You may be better off asking someone who doesn't see sentiment as a weakness."

"Well, I don't think any feedback should be discounted. It has to come from somewhere," Godfrey rationalized. "What would you recommend I do?"

"...I'm not going to tell you to stop caring about Ginger, either for real or just pretending," Shadya answered. "But I think you should keep in mind that this is a competition and that only one of us can win. Do what you think you need to in order to win."

"That actually makes a lot of sense," Godfrey smiled. "I really appreciate you hearing me out."

"Don't mention it," Shadya dismissed. "And I truly mean that. Mention this to anyone, and you will be the next person to go home."

"Gotcha," Godfrey chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** Shadya plays herself up like some tough, stoic, unbreakable wall, but I can tell that even she has some sense of empathy in her. I think that she's aware of it, too, and just won't let herself feel it. It's not my place to pry, but it's nice to see a more human side of Shadya, even if it's just a little bit.

 **Shadya:** It's not that I don't understand or feel sentiment, it's that I do everything in my power to avoid doing so. Frankly, I'm not sure why I gave Godfrey actual advice back there. He's still standing in between me and victory. Ugh, maybe I should put more priority on getting rid of him.

* * *

Before Nestor returned to camp for lunch, he found Ginger on the beach by herself.

"Hey, baby girl! Are you going to join us for lunch?" Nestor smiled.

"I don't need to eat, remember?" Ginger reminded him flatly.

"Nonsense! We let Mark be included when we thought he was a robot, and we're going to include you, too!" Nestor insisted.

"Eh, if I had lunch with you guys, it'd just hammer in how I'm not the world-changing genius human being I thought I was," Ginger winced. "You go on ahead. I'll be fine."

"You seem to be taking this better than yesterday," Nestor noticed.

"Well, anything is an improvement over screaming and hurting myself and living in denial," Ginger grinned darkly. "I still hate it, though. I have memories of working my ass off to develop, design, engineer, and program Mark, but apparently, none of that is real and _I'm_ just _his_ experiment. Oh, he pisses me off so much."

"I bet," Nestor empathized. "Well hey, if you ever want to get anything off your chest, I'm always going to be interested in this sort of thing and would be happy to listen. Full disclosure: I will probably put some of the things you say on my blog unless you don't want me to."

"I'm not sure if you should," Ginger said. "I am still a part of a massive advancement in robotics. Before, I wanted to keep it all a secret so only I could capitalize on my work. Now I don't really care as much since it isn't really my work."

"That's the spirit!" Nestor beamed.

"Anything to rationalize all this for myself," Ginger figured.

"All women are queens, and that includes you!" Nestor encouraged.

"I'm not technically a woman. If I had been designed with a more masculine appearance, I doubt much, if anything, would change," Ginger said.

"All! Women! Are! Queens!" Nestor repeated, clapping in between words for emphasis. "Unless you wish to identify as nonbinary, of course. You'd still be royalty, though."

"...Thanks," Ginger conceded with a small smile. "I haven't really put any thought into identifying as anything but female, by the way. I'll let you know if that changes."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** People seem a lot more keen to cheer me up about this than they were about cheering Mark up when his so-called "reveal" happened. Is it because they see me as a woman? Honestly, maybe, but if it means that I have their sympathy and I'm less likely to be eliminated because of it, that's good with me.

 **Nestor:** Obviously, I'm in zero rush to entrust my game to Ginger or anything, but this whole robot thing is just too awesome to not talk about! This is some real Blade Runner shit and I get to meet the people involved in real life! I'm certainly not going to pass up the opportunity!

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon were the last two eating lunch.

"Mm, this is delicious," Rhiannon smiled.

"Lady Shadya seasoned today's lunch with garlic powder and black pepper," Hildegard explained. "'Tis most merciful that we maintain the herbs and spices we won from the first island!"

"Honestly I'm surprised we still have any left," Rhiannon commented.

"Has Lady Shadya spoken with thee about today's plan, perchance?" Hildegard inquired.

"No, not yet," Rhiannon answered. "Did she talk to you about it?"

"Verily! She wishes for the Orange pair to be dealt with posthaste," Hildegard relayed. "I believe t'was Nestor whom she cited specifically."

"I've never really had any deep conversations with Nestor, so I can be on board with that," Rhiannon figured. "Plus, he runs a Total Drama blog, right? That's got to make him some kind of strategic threat."

"I'm told he was able to play both sides on the Brilliant Beaches, and it seems he's doing the same here as well!" Hildegard agreed. "Thankfully, he's a liability when it comes to physical activity. We can take advantage of this!"

"Hm, yeah, as long as they don't win the challenge, I think we can find a way to ensure that the Orange pair is at risk," Rhiannon realized. "Either we or the Purple pair win and put them in, or the Blue pair wins and we and Purple can just vote for them."

"I am liking our odds!" Hildegard grinned.

"So, garlic powder, huh?" Rhiannon asked. "I don't really have any experience with cooking outside of what I've had to do in this game."

"'Tis an invaluable trait to hone!" Hildegard tutted. "'Tis a practical skill to have as an adult, not to mention an attractive trait to potential partners."

"I-I'm... not really thinking about potential partners," Rhiannon blushed.

"I should hope not. Sir Elmer is not looking for potential partners either," Hildegard warned.

"You don't have to remind me!" Rhiannon cried, her face bright red. "Just because I've been in cheating-based porn doesn't mean I advocate it for real!"

"Excellent, thou hast scruples after all," Hildegard nodded, satisfied.

"What, did you think I didn't?!" Rhiannon scowled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I love Hildegard and all, but she really needs to work on saying things with tact. Does she still really think less of me just because of my profession? Has being an honest, loyal, caring friend to her meant nothing? Is she really _that_ set in her ways? _(She sighs.)_

 **Hildegard:** Lady Rhiannon, though she is my friend, is still a purveyor of lust who is, in part, responsible for the continued mass addiction to pornography which plagues humanity! That is not something I can simply look past! I pray that someday she may be able to leave such a position.

* * *

Wisdom found Shadya gathering more wood for the fire.

"Shadya? Do you have an answer to my proposal yesterday?" Wisdom inquired.

"I do want the Orange pair dealt with, so if you are willing to assist with that, then by all means," Shadya half-answered.

"Would you be willing to work with me in the future, though?" Wisdom pressed.

"More so than with Godfrey, or Nestor, or Virgil," Shadya told her.

"Is that so?" Wisdom thought aloud.

"If by some freak accident, Rhiannon, Ginger, and Hildegard all go home in the next three eliminations, then you will be my closest ally," Shadya said.

"Well, at least that's something, right?" Wisdom figured. "What would it take for you to trust Godfrey? Being in a pair with him means that any votes against him are also against me, yeah?"

"I already said that Orange is my priority target," Shadya leered.

"And if Orange wins the challenge again?" Wisdom pressed.

"I'll do everything in my power to make sure Godfrey duels in the event that the Blue pair is chosen to duel," Shadya stated as she began chopping at a tree. "Of course, I cannot guarantee Ginger will feel the same way. If you want to be absolutely safe, I suggest winning the pair challenge."

Wisdom nodded. "...What do you think the next island will be like?"

The tree fell, and Shadya began cutting it into logs.

"I can't imagine it would be any more tedious than this, but I should likely know better than to assume such things when Chris McLean is in charge," Shadya acknowledged. "I watched every season of this show before I made my departure to partake in it. I've seen some of the things the man is capable of."

"At least we don't have to deal with toxic radiation or killer animals, right?" Wisdom giggled.

"No, but we've had to deal with Nestor, Gretchen, Bunko, and Steve Jenkins," Shadya snorted. "And that's just to name a few."

"Well, if Nestor doesn't make it to the next island, then things might not be so bad, right?" Wisdom encouraged.

"I will be winning this game either way, but having him out of my hair sooner than later will be a boon," Shadya concurred as she wiped her brow and picked up some of the logs she had chopped. "Help me carry these back to the campsite."

Wisdom nodded and picked up a few logs.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I never have and likely never will see Wisdom as anyone but just another person standing in between myself and victory, but I will give credit where it is due in that she's one of the less annoying people to speak with in this game. Hence why she will be granted fifth place in my ideal elimination order.

 **Wisdom:** So I'm a tertiary ally to Shadya if even that? I suppose it's better than being her target, right? There should be two more eliminations until our next shuffle, right? If I can bide my time until then, then maybe things will work out for me, yeah?

* * *

Nestor approached Godfrey away from camp.

"Alright, gurl. We need to talk game, asap!" Nestor began.

"Oh, uh, sure," Godfrey agreed. "What's up?"

"Well, obviously, Virgil and I want to work with you and Wisdom going forward," Nestor prefaced.

"And I want to work with you guys as well," Godfrey agreed. "How's your relationship with Wisdom? That might be important."

"Woefully limited, but I aim to fix that," Nestor admitted. "What are you and Wisdom thinking as far as plans for tonight?"

"If it were up to me, the Yellow pair would be at risk and Rhiannon specifically would go home," Godfrey answered.

"You really don't want Ginger to be at any kind of risk, do you?" Nestor tsked.

"I'll... I'll eliminate Ginger if I have to, but I don't think I have to right now," Godfrey fretted. "She still won't talk to me, and that's concerning on any front in this game, regardless of our relationship."

"Virgil did say he wanted Rhiannon gone, too," Nestor mentioned. "What do you think of this? The way tonight's going to work, someone from our alliance, and someone from their alliance will be dueling. If the Yellow pair is at risk, then we'll choose Rhiannon to duel. If the Purple pair is at risk, we'll choose Ginger."

"I can agree with that," Godfrey nodded tentatively. He thought about it briefly. "I suppose you're right about how the votes will go. Having half of the pairs ineligible to get votes will do that, huh?"

"It's a crazy-ass twist, but that's Total Drama!" Nestor said passionately. "It's a pain in the ass, but god damn if I don't love this show!"

"It's definitely had its ups and downs, but overall, I can't say I regret putting Ginger and myself on this show," Godfrey admitted. "It's an important experience for both of us."

"How much did you know about this show before signing up, anyway?" Nestor asked curiously.

"Not a whole lot. I knew the basic concept, but I didn't need to pretend that much that I didn't know what I was doing," Godfrey chuckled. "I was told I picked it up pretty quickly, so that was nice."

"You've made it this far, boo, so you must have done something right," Nestor winked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** It's reassuring that Nestor and Virgil are still cool with me in spite of everything. I'll trust them for now, but even I know that you can't trust anyone fully in this game. Hell, I'm still not entirely sure how much I trust Wisdom.

 **Nestor:** Alright, so we've worked something out! Having a concrete plan for every possible outcome is the way you get things to go your way, boys and girls! Between you and me, I feel like Godfrey and I are probably going to be the picks for whichever of our pairs ends up dueling, so I need to make absolutely sure that there's no chance of my pair being at risk tonight.

* * *

Rhiannon found Virgil at the Dock of Shame, still fishing.

"Have you caught anything?" Rhiannon asked.

"Just the eye of a pretty lady, apparently," Virgil winked. "Naw, but seriously, I've actually managed to catch one or two small fish. Not as much as Spearmint is going to get, but it's something."

"Do you mind if I sit with you and talk?" Rhiannon offered.

"Go for it," Virgil accepted.

Rhiannon sat by Virgil. "I feel like your pair and my pair haven't gotten along this entire game."

"Well, Spearmint's made it a point to let Blueberry and I know how much she can't stand us," Virgil shrugged.

"She's... not shy about letting her opinions on others known." Rhiannon rubbed the back of her head. "Just earlier today she felt it was necessary to remind me how much she disapproves of my profession."

"How have you managed to put up with her from day one?" Virgil wondered.

"She's brutally honest, but she's still honest," Rhiannon rationalized. "I can trust her... for the most part."

"For the most part, eh?" Virgil smirked.

"Don't worry about it," Rhiannon dismissed.

"Fair enough," Virgil figured. "Say, you're bisexual, right?"

Rhiannon choked up for a bit before swallowing the lump in her throat. "Where's that coming from?"

"I mean, you've mentioned doing porn with guys and girls," Virgil explained.

"Is this some sick way of trying to get me in a threesome with you and another girl?!" Rhiannon objected.

"No, it's just-" Virgil sighed. "I've been struggling with... You know what? I don't know why I'm telling you this. Forget it."

Virgil reeled his line in, stood up, took his bucket of two small fish, and left. Rhiannon buried her face in her hands.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I guess it's just too late in the game to establish any sort of connection with Cherry Pie. Not that I really should be connecting with her anyway, since I already threw her name out to Blueberry, but I figured that if I could have a real talk with anyone about being bi, it'd be her. Ugh, now I'm just pissed off.

 **Rhiannon:** Wow, that was embarrassing. Nobody's ever questioned my sexual orientation to my face before. How am I supposed to react to that? I've done porn with men, and with women, and with men and women. That should speak for itself, shouldn't it?!

* * *

Ginger and Hildegard met up by the beach away from camp.

"Hey, Hildegard, can we talk about something serious?" Ginger asked.

"What is it?" Hildegard asked skeptically.

"You're religious, right?" Ginger began.

"Indeed, I worship the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!" Hildegard confirmed. "'Tis why I chose to become a paladin, in particular!"

"Do you think, if I died, I'd go to heaven or hell?" Ginger wondered.

"Nay, I suppose thou would not," Hildegard disputed.

"You don't believe a good God would find mercy in His heart for me?" Ginger winced.

"Thou art but a recreation of humanity. Made to look and think and speak like a human, but ultimately without a God-given soul," Hildegard explained. "The Lord will judge His children, but thou art not amongst His children."

"So if I died, then that'd be it? Nothing?" Ginger grunted.

"Canst thou truly die, technically?" Hildegard questioned. "Thy consciousness is contained in a computer chip, correct? Could thy data not be replicated, even if that chip were destroyed?"

"But... that wouldn't be me! That'd be a copy of me!" Ginger insisted.

"Hm, that is... an interesting point," Hildegard conceded. "But as it stands, thou art a computer made to resemble a person. I'm afraid thou art not a person in the eyes of the Lord."

"That's bullshit!" Ginger cried. "I can just be destroyed and replicated like nothing happened, and that would be it?! Give me a break!"

"If it is any consolation, thou needeth not worry about the potential of eternal damnation," Hildegard attempted.

"Don't you understand what you're telling me?!" Ginger cried. "That I'm expendable! Easily replaced! Completely unnecessary in the grand scheme of things! Who's to say that Mark _won't_ just replace me with another model that doesn't have cuts on her face and arm?! Another model that doesn't have any undesirable memories?! What would happen to me?! Would he just trash me?! Completely eliminate me from existence?!"

"Thou art thinking about this too pessimistically," Hildegard dismissed. "I sincerely doubt that it would be so bad."

"But it could happen!" Ginger panicked. "Damn it, I want to cry again, but I still can't! It's not fair!"

"Would it be any consolation if I prayed for thee?" Hildegard offered.

"Why bother? Your god clearly doesn't give a damn about me! You said so yourself!" Ginger shouted before storming off.

Hildegard got to her knees, folded her hands together, bowed her head, and closed her eyes. She muttered quietly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** This just solidifies it! I need to get rid of Mark as soon as possible! If he doesn't win the prize money, he shouldn't be able to afford the necessary components to make a new model. Then he'll have no reason to scrap me! Heh. My actual life is on the line. Who would have thought? _(She laughs nervously.)_

 **Hildegard:** 'Tis not that I wish for Ginger to feel such existential dread. I'd not wish such a thing unto anyone. But she did ask me for my thoughts on how the afterlife may treat her, and I dare not lie about such a serious topic. I do not believe that Godfrey would discard her so easily if he could, but I prayed about it besides. The idea disturbs me as well.

* * *

The final eight met Chris at a huge mud puddle away from camp. A long rope extended across and past the diameter of the puddle.

"Howdy-ho, contestants!" Chris greeted.

" _Tell_ me this is not our challenge, Christopher," Nestor tutted. "I know you can do so much better."

"I don't know. I cast you, didn't I?" Chris returned. "Anyway, if Nestor wants to stop being a screenhog for two seconds, allow me to explain the challenge."

Nestor folded his arms and gave Chris an expectant look.

"Today's challenge is a simple tug-of-war tournament," Chris explained. "Your goal, natch, is to get both members of the opposing pair into the mud. This will be played in three rounds, with the winners of the first two rounds competing against one another in the final round to determine who ultimately wins the challenge. We'll determine who competes in the first two rounds by a random draw."

Interns arrived on the scene to handcuff the pairs together.

"The handcuffs might make things a bit more difficult," Virgil commented.

"For you, perhaps," Shadya scoffed. "Being handcuffed has never hindered me in prior challenges."

"What about the challenge where we had to hold onto giant marshmallows?" Wisdom pointed out.

Shadya and Ginger both shot Wisdom a dirty look.

"If there are no further questions, we can draw for spots and get this challenge underway!" Chris clapped.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** This one's pretty back-to-basics, but honestly, I think we could all use something basic right about now. The rest of the game has been anything but ever since we got to this island. It's almost like a real summer camp.

 **Rhiannon:** ...Eh, you know what? Any jokes about how there are ropes in addition to the handcuffs would be too obvious. I've only ever been in one of those kinds of videos anyway, and I was the sub, so it's not like I have that much actual experience in using them.

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon took one end of the rope, while Ginger and Shadya took the other end.

"Alright, round one: Yieldless Yellow versus Pyro Purple!" Chris announced.

"We won't go easy on you!" Ginger called out to her opponents.

"I'd be insulted if thou did!" Hildegard called back.

"Begin!" Chris commanded.

Both pairs stood their ground and began to pull on the rope.

"Pull! Pull!" Hildegard instructed rhythmically.

"I'm doing the best I can," Rhiannon grunted. "These shoes were not made for tug of war."

"Aren't you glad neither of us are wearing expensive heels?" Ginger grinned to Shadya.

"I could still win even if I was," Shadya sneered confidently.

"Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull!" Hildegard continued as she and Rhiannon stepped backward in rhythm.

"I'm pulling it as hard as I can!" Rhiannon insisted.

"That had better not be a dirty joke!" Hildegard scolded.

"It wasn't trying to be!" Rhiannon cried.

"Let us put them out of their misery," Shadya commented.

"Gladly," Ginger grinned.

With one final tug, the Pyro Purple Pair successfully brought Hildegard and Rhiannon into the mud puddle. The puddle was far deeper than it appeared, and both girls were completely submerged in the mud.

"It's that deep?!" Nestor gasped.

"Are they going to be able to get out on their own?" Wisdom winced.

"They should still be holding onto the rope," Chris figured. "They can pull themselves out."

Sure enough, Hildegard and Rhiannon managed to pull themselves up to the end of the rope that Ginger and Shadya were holding onto, freeing them from the mud pit.

"T-Tis not a true battle unless thou emergeth filthy and exhausted," Hildegard panted. She glanced at Rhiannon. "Do not say a word."

"I was going to say that this is a lot easier to take if you think of it as an exfoliating mud treatment," Rhiannon leered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I fought my hardest out there, and I still failed! Even if it was against Lady Shadya, I should still have stood a chance! Absolutely disgusting.

* * *

The rope had been put back in its original position, and now Nestor and Virgil took one side while Godfrey and Wisdom took the other.

"Round two: Overheat Orange Pair versus Blazing Blue Pair!" Chris announced. "Whoever wins this round will face the Pyro Purple Pair in the last round. Ready?"

"We need to win this, understand?" Godfrey muttered to Wisdom.

"That's the idea, isn't it?" Wisdom responded. "Why do you feel the need to remind me of that?"

"Why don't you ever whisper sweet nothings to me like that, Mystery Pop?!" Virgil teased from the other side.

"Begin!" Chris commanded.

Both pairs immediately put all their strength into pulling on the rope. The Blazing Blue Pair already began slowly creeping closer to the mud pit.

"Harder, Wisdom!" Godfrey barked.

"You don't think I'm already trying my best?!" Wisdom cried.

"For once, all this extra weight is coming in handy," Nestor quipped. "Hey, Virgil, how the hell haven't you put on a hundred extra pounds with all that candy you eat?"

"Metabolism?" Virgil offered. "For what it's worth, I've always had trouble sleeping."

The momentary distraction allowed the Blazing Blue Pair a small comeback, and Nestor and Virgil were forced to take a few steps forward before standing their ground once again.

"We need to win this... We need to win this..." Godfrey repeated.

"You're stressing me out, you know?" Wisdom grunted as she tried pulling on the rope as hard as she could.

"Sorry," Godfrey sighed.

With one decisive pull, one pair managed to get their opponents in the mud pit.

...

...

...

...

...

"The Overheat Orange Pair win round two!" Chris announced.

"That's what's up," Virgil smirked as he and Nestor shared a high-five.

Wisdom and Godfrey pulled themselves out of the mud pit, both absolutely covered in mud.

"Will this stain my dress?" Wisdom frowned as she tried to get all the mud out of her clothes and hair.

"Hey," Godfrey told the Overheat Orange Pair. "I'm going to need you two to forfeit the last round."

"Are you joking?" Virgil scoffed.

"If we don't win, there's a very good chance that we'll be dueling tonight," Nestor said. "No offense, but I don't exactly want for that to happen."

"This goes beyond that!" Godfrey insisted. "If mud gets in Ginger's hardware... I don't even want to know what will happen."

"You know what she was getting into when you signed both of you up for the game, boo," Nestor told him, annoyed. "We're not throwing."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** To be fair, I didn't know what _exactly_ happens on Total Drama. It's a miracle Ginger has gone this long without needing to swim or anything. I just hope she stays safe.

* * *

The rope had been put back in its original position. The Pyro Purple Pair took one side of the rope, and the Overheat Orange Pair took the other side.

"Final round! For Invincibility, a chance to send another pair to be at risk, and a trip to the Tent of Banquets!" Chris announced. "Pyro Purple versus Overheat Orange!"

"Let's hurry up. I'm getting hungry," Shadya commented.

"They say mud is highly nutritious. You should try some," Virgil chuckled.

"I already maintain a healthy diet both in and out of the game. I won't be preached to by someone who thinks donut filling counts as fruit," Shadya remarked.

"Alright, that does it!" Virgil shouted.

"Begin!" Chris commanded.

Both pairs pulled as hard as they could on the rope. Neither pair gave way right out of the gate.

"Hey, Gingersnap!" Virgil called. "Mystery Pop was just telling me that if you fell in the mud, your machinery would get all messed up!"

"You can't psych me out!" Ginger insisted. "I am focused on winning, and that's exactly what I'm going to do!"

"You literally might not be able to psych her out," Nestor told Virgil. "I don't know if her AI could pick up on that."

The Overheat Orange Pair drew slightly closer to the pit.

"Think we can beat them with pure strength?" Virgil grunted.

"Nobody can defeat me with pure strength!" Shadya called.

"You could hear me?!" Virgil called back.

"I am perfection in everything I do. This means that I have honed my basic human senses to their best capability," Shadya stated.

The Pyro Purple Pair drew slightly closer to the pit.

"Brag later. Challenge now," Ginger strained.

"I will not have my accomplishments unacknowledged!" Shadya insisted.

With one decisive pull, one pair managed to successfully get its opponents into the mud pit.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Congratulations, Pyro Purple Pair!" Chris announced. "You are the winners of today's challenge!"

"Hell yeah, we are," Ginger grinned.

Shadya spat into the dirt.

Godfrey breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Argh, close but no cigar. I knew that Shadya was going to be an issue if we left her unchecked, and here we are! This is _really_ starting to get old.

* * *

The Overheat Orange Pair had escaped the mud pit, and they stood by the other mud-covered contestants, right across from Chris and the Pyro Purple Pair.

"Congrats, ladies!" Chris said to Ginger and Shadya. "You two have guaranteed your spots in the final seven."

"Ginger, are you a lady?" Nestor clarified.

"I identify as female, yes," Ginger told him.

"You have to make sure," Nestor smiled.

"That's great. Pyro Purple Pair, which pair will you select to be at risk tonight?" Chris inquired.

"The Overheat Orange Pair," Shadya answered.

"Um, we didn't discuss that!" Ginger denied.

"The Blazing Blue Pair is willing to work with the two of us going forward. The Overheat Orange Pair is not," Shadya told her quietly.

"I don't care! I need Mark gone!" Ginger snapped.

"I am not bending on this," Shadya told Ginger sternly.

"Well, neither am I!" Ginger maintained.

"Hey, hey," Rhiannon spoke up. "Chris, is there a way to settle this?"

"Of course!" Chris beamed. He took a coin from his pocket. "If it's heads, the Overheat Orange Pair is at risk. Tails, the Blazing Blue Pair."

Chris flipped the coin and caught it on the back of his hand.

...

...

...

...

...

"The Overheat Orange Pair will be at risk tonight!" Chris announced as he showed the heads-side-up coin to Shadya and Ginger. "That's not all, though! You still need to pick one pair to join you in the Tent of Banquets tonight!"

"We will be dining with the Yieldless Yellow Pair," Shadya declared.

"...I can't disagree with that," Ginger angrily conceded.

"Awesome!" Chris acknowledged. "I'll see you all later tonight!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I guess we're past the point of pretending that there isn't a clear divide between the contestants. I'm definitely grateful to get to finally get to eat at the Tent of Banquets, but I feel like that's going to make things more awkward between my alliance and the other alliance.

* * *

Ginger, Hildegard, Rhiannon, and Shadya all took their seats at the Tent of Banquets and put as much food as they could on their plates.

"You do not need that much food," Shadya told Ginger.

"Screw you! I'll eat as much as I want!" Ginger reacted.

"So, not that I'm not grateful, but wouldn't it make more sense to get the Orange pair in here so you could try and convince them to not vote for our pair?" Rhiannon mentioned. "Or bring in the Blue pair so Hildegard and I could have more time to convince the Orange pair ourselves?"

"I am not fraternizing with the Blue pair," Ginger grimaced.

"And I do not think anything Ginger or I could say would convince either of them. Particularly Nestor," Shadya answered. "One of you two is going to be dueling tonight. I do not think anything can be done about it, so I would rather not have either of you tackle it on an empty stomach."

"A very wise decision indeed!" Hildegard grinned. "Come, Lady Rhiannon! Let us steel ourselves with protein and vitamins!"

"I suppose," Rhiannon figured. "I just don't like the idea that the other pairs are definitively our enemies now."

"They were our enemies when we all set foot on the Dock of Shame back on Whenua Island," Shadya stated. "We are all competing to achieve the same goal, and only one of us will ultimately achieve it."

"So the friendships you've made along the way don't mean anything to you?" Rhiannon asked, hurt.

"I will let them mean something after the competition is over," Shadya said. "In the meantime, I cannot allow sentiment to get in my way."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way," Rhiannon frowned.

"Do not patronize me," Shadya leered. "What have you accomplished in your life that makes you think you are anywhere close to the level of being able to patronize me?"

Rhiannon, with tears in her eyes, stood up and left the Tent of Banquets.

"...I had best do what I can to speak with her," Hildegard told the others as she stood up and prepared to leave. "Er, so she is not so preoccupied with sorrow that it may dull her performance if she is to duel."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** The fact that we are so near the end of the game is getting to the others' heads, it seems. They think that being so close to first place means that they are close to my level. It does not matter if they get eighth place, second place, or twenty-fourth. Everyone in this game is beneath me.

 **Ginger:** Tch. Everyone in this game is so high-strung. My entire existence is on the line, and if I die, that's it! No afterlife or anything, I can just get copied and pasted thanks to that stupid device I had as my luxury item! So you'll have to forgive me if I don't have any patience for anyone else's problems right now!

* * *

Godfrey sat by Virgil at the Dock of Shame as the latter had his fishing line cast.

"So, she absolutely wants me gone, huh?" Godfrey lamented. "Has she spoken to you about this at all?"

"I'mma be real: I'm not sure Gingersnap and I have really _spoken_ since we got on this island," Virgil told him. "Either way, you can't be focusing too hard on this. There's still a game we've got to play."

"You're right," Godfrey sighed. "What are you and Nestor planning on doing? Blue and Yellow have to vote for each other by default, so that leaves you guys to break the tie."

"Gee, I wonder," Virgil smirked. "Maybe I'll save the pair that has no real relationship with me or my partner and has been in Top Banana's back pocket since the first shuffle."

"I'm just making sure," Godfrey chuckled. "You know what they say about when you assume."

"I am concerned about the duel, though," Virgil admitted. "The Yellows are probably going to pick Blueberry since he's not very athletic. I think he and I have an agreement to send in Cherry Pie? She'll be easier to beat than Spearmint, and she's close to Top Banana. Probably, no, definitely the smarter one of the pair, too."

"It's hard to argue with any of that," Godfrey agreed. "Of course, you should be prepared to duel, just in case. There have been stranger upsets in this game."

"Yeah, I know," Virgil acknowledged. "I'm also just not trying to stress out about it."

"I wish it were that easy for me not to stress out," Godfrey chuckled awkwardly.

"You want gum?" Virgil offered. "Take the pack, honestly."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Obviously, a little bit of stress is healthy, but why should I bother stressing about the off chance that I might duel tonight? I'll stress out about it if it happens and I actually need to stress about it, you dig?

 **Godfrey:** I really need to just sit down and talk with Ginger in the near future. It sounds like she wants my head, and that's not good in any case, let alone with someone as important as she is. If this game has taught me anything, it's that a bit of conversation can work wonders.

* * *

Hildegard found Rhiannon sitting alone at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"God, Shadya just... cannot think about anyone other than herself, can she?" Rhiannon sniffled.

"The stress of the game is affecting us all," Hildegard told her. "Lady Shadya, though she'd not dare admit it, is no different."

"I don't even care that she thinks she's done more cool things than I have. She probably has," Rhiannon sighed. "But it sounded like she thinks that I just _haven't_ accomplished anything at all."

"Surely thou have," Hildegard told her friend. "Tell me all about it! Lavish me with tales of thy accolades!"

"Well, um..." Rhiannon thought about it. "I got pretty good grades in school... probably not as good as Shadya's."

"I understand thy plight of comparing thyself to her," Hildegard empathized. "But that will do thee no good! What hast thou done that Lady Shadya has not?"

"...Eat lunch with Khaya Peake?" Rhiannon forced herself to smile before breaking back down in tears. "She's right, Hildegard. She's out here conquering records and inspiring girls everywhere and I'm just another pretty image for people to pleasure themselves to."

"Art thou not attempting to dissuade such a notion?" Hildegard inquired. "Admitting to it thyself is no way to do this!"

"How am I supposed to look like I'm anything next to her?" Rhiannon lamented.

"Lady Rhiannon..." Hildegard said solemnly. "Lady Shadya is an ally of mine, but she is not my friend. She is cold, aloof, standoffish. But thou art a genuine friend of mine. Warm-hearted, genuine, sweet. In that way, thou art leagues above Lady Shadya. In that way, thou art more than just an attractive woman. Thou art Rhiannon Rispoli, and-"

"Jessica," Rhiannon cut her off. "You... You're right, Hildegard. Thank you so much; that actually means a lot. And, when it's just you and me, you can call me by my real name: Jessica. Rhiannon is the porn star. Jessica is your friend."

"Verily!" Hildegard agreed. "'Tis an honor to be bequeathed with the knowledge of thy Christian name."

The two girls shared a hug.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** There's probably always going to be a part of me who's going to compare myself to Shadya, at least during the game. But Hildegard actually came through and helped me realize that even Shadya isn't perfect and that maybe I do have something she doesn't: real, genuine friends. God, that's so cheesy. _(She blushes.)_

 **Hildegard:** Lady Rhiannon... Lady Jessica... However she shall be known, she has always been on my side, and I shall always be by hers! I'd call her my squire, but that would do a disservice unto her. I see us as equals, and that is not something the great Lady Hildegard proclaims lightly!

* * *

Hildegard had made her way down to the foot of Mt. Chrisuvius when Wisdom approached her.

"Hildegard?" Wisdom coaxed. "May we speak?"

"About what wouldst thou speaketh with me?" Hildegard asked.

"Do you think we could work together going forward?" Wisdom asked point-blank.

"Thou hast made it clear in the past that thou dost not trust Lady Rhiannon," Hildegard said skeptically. "Indeed, thou hast worked against my holy party ever since the first shuffle!"

"You guys took the first shot at me, remember?" Wisdom retaliated. "What was I supposed to do at that point?"

"Regardless, why should we trust thee now?" Hildegard questioned.

"Because we're deadlocked and all of us could use a majority?" Wisdom offered. "Godfrey wants to work with Ginger, right? And did you know Shadya's already told me she's willing to work with me?"

"Is that so?" Hildegard doubted. "E'en if that were true, Ginger wants nothing to do with Godfrey. Why, she wishes for his elimination posthaste!"

"Does that have to be the case?" Wisdom asked. "Couldn't we get them to talk it out?"

"It seems highly unlikely," Hildegard said bluntly. "Hast thou such little faith in thine allies that thou must attempt to fraternize with thy rivals?"

"It doesn't hurt to be prepared, does it?" Wisdom figured. "What if one of my allies goes home tonight? What would you do in that scenario?"

"Stick by my party til the bitter end, of course!" Hildegard maintained. "What good paladin would deign to consider abandoning her allies?!"

"Isn't that exactly what you did when Shadya went to duel on Kairi Island?" Wisdom asked flatly.

"Th-That was a moment of weakness! Nobody is perfect!" Hildegard insisted.

"And the time you voted for the Purple pair just the other day?" Wisdom pressed.

"Lady Rhiannon had convinced me it was necessary at the time!" Hildegard shouted. "This conversation is over!"

Hildegard made her way back to camp. Wisdom sighed and shook her head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** When you don't particularly trust your allies, it would make sense to make more allies, no? But can I do that when it seems like no one else really trusts me? What can I do to better establish my position in this game? What are the others doing that I'm not?

 **Hildegard:** Wisdom is truly beginning to get on my nerves. Does she fancy herself some sort of strategic mastermind who can play multiple sides of the game? Ha! I would not trust her with cleaning my lance, let alone with my position in this game!

* * *

Rhiannon returned to the shelter to lie down. Nestor had already been lying on it.

"Hey, girl. Looking forward to tonight?" Nestor asked playfully.

"Is that a warning?" Rhiannon asked wearily.

"I won't confirm or deny your odds of dueling tonight," Nestor dismissed.

"Nestor, I've had a rough day. I could do without the condescension," Rhiannon sighed.

"Well, if you're having a rough day, would you rather I just point-blank told you 'Hey, you're dueling tonight'?" Nestor doubted.

"You could have just not brought it up at all," Rhiannon suggested, annoyed. "Even if your pair does vote for mine _and_ select me to duel, keep in mind that one of you is going to be dueling, too."

"Oh, I'm well aware of that, boo," Nestor said. "And before you ask: of course I'm nervous. But you never let a bitch see you sweat."

"Do you remember Kirkland? You might not since he was voted out back on the first island," Rhiannon began.

"What about him?" Nestor asked.

"He also had a confident sort of air to him. So confident that one might call him cocky," Rhiannon recalled. "You saw how well that worked out for him."

"Well, the difference between me and the fourth boot is that I am still in the game, girlfriend," Nestor scoffed. "That boy must not have had anything to let him get any far. I've played a hell of a game to make it this far. Yeah, I might end up dueling, and yeah, I might lose, but either way, I think I've demonstrably proved that I'm better than _at least_ sixteen of the people who were playing this game. If being proud of myself for doing so well at my favorite game of all time makes me cocky, then I'll be twice the cocky bitch that boy ever was."

"Putting on a front will only work for so long," Rhiannon told him.

"Maybe for me it's not a front, honey," Nestor winked.

"Well, I hope you continue to live a perfect, problem-free life," Rhiannon snarked.

"Aw, thanks, me too," Nestor beamed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** Your emotions play a huge role in your motivation, you know. Maybe it's a little dirty messing with Rhiannon like that, but if she ends up dueling tonight, it could make a difference. You never know.

 **Rhiannon:** I don't know why I still bother with Nestor. We were on different teams for the first two islands, and haven't exactly gotten close since we merged. I think we're just kind of destined to be working against each other.

* * *

Ginger and Shadya watched several interns setting up the camp chairs and torches for the elimination ceremony.

"We're nearly there, Ginger," Shadya said. "Just a few more people to take out before the endgame. And then: victory."

"And then what?" Ginger asked.

"And then I will have another big accomplishment, another feather in my cap," Shadya said. "I cannot claim to know what will happen to you after the game is over. That sounds like a question for Godfrey."

"I'm..." Ginger sighed. "I'm scared of what he might tell me."

"What could you possibly have to be afraid of?" Shadya hummed.

"Him scrapping me and putting some copy of my AI into a vessel that doesn't have, well, this?" Ginger rolled up her sleeve.

"Why would he do that? It would make more sense to just put your existing hardware in a less beat-up model," Shadya reasoned. "Also, he told me that he's worried about you or something."

"Yeah, I'm sure he is. Wouldn't want all that time he spent to go to waste," Ginger scoffed.

"Would that not be exactly how you would feel if you didn't find out about your roles?" Shadya pointed out. "You would constantly brag about the robot that you had spent so much time making and how it was going to change the future. If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's seeing people who think they are above things that they are clearly not above."

"Nnnnrrrrgggggh," Ginger growled. "Why do you have to be right about everything?"

"It's not an active aim of mine. I just am," Shadya boasted. "I can continue being right if you wish."

"Why the hell not?" Ginger agreed reluctantly.

"You're scared of facing him because you still aren't completely to-terms with the sudden role reversal," Shadya said. "You now see yourself as greatly inferior because you perceive yourself as but a creation of man, and he is the symbol, the incarnation of this feeling."

"Well, Hildegard certainly didn't help with that," Ginger frowned. "Did you know that I apparently have no soul and won't have an afterlife?"

"I hadn't really thought about it," Shadya said. "All I know is that the longer you put off talking to Godfrey, the longer you prolong this pity party of yours. And keep in mind that he won't be around much longer."

"I'd still rather just eliminate him," Ginger responded. "That'll show him who's really inferior!"

"Hm, so I was right about the inferiority complex," Shadya smirked.

"Oh, shut up!" Ginger snapped.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Ugh, I just don't know. I want to distance myself from Godfrey as much as possible, and yet, I just can't stop thinking about him! About how much I hate him! _He's_ the reason I feel this way! It's all _his_ fault!

 **Shadya:** Never in a million years did I ever expect to be the middleman in some boy/girl drama. I suppose that's the sort of thing that will happen when you partake in such a base level game for teenagers.

* * *

Night had fallen, and several tiki torches were arranged in a large circle and lit not far from the shelter. Within the circle of torches were eight camp chairs - two of the four pair colors - also arranged in a circle, with the respective contestants seated in them. Chris stood in the very center.

"Another night, another elimination," Chris grinned. "Getting used to it yet?"

"Anyone who did not get used to it before this island is not fit to be here," Shadya snorted.

"Well, one person's about to not be here," Chris chuckled. "Now, the Pyro Purple Pair have won Invincibility, and the Overheat Orange Pair have already been selected to duel. No ties can occur, so your vote will be pretty definitively cast."

"It seems like our votes are already pretty set in stone once again, eh?" Godfrey remarked to Hildegard.

"I have no issue voting for thee and would likely do so e'en if thou were not mine only option," Hildegard remarked.

"Yeah, well, uh... back at you," Godfrey reacted.

"Yieldless Yellow, you guys are up first," Chris stated.

Hildegard and Rhiannon went to go cast their vote.

* * *

After all three eligible pairs cast their votes, Chris went to go get the voting urn and returned with it shortly.

"You've cast your votes and made your decisions," Chris began. "I'll start reading the votes..."

Wisdom began wringing her hands.

"First vote..."

...

...

...

"Blazing Blue Pair!" Chris announced as he showed the vote.

Sure enough, the words 'Blazing' and 'Blue' were written on the parchment in different handwriting.

...

...

...

"Yieldless Yellow Pair!" Chris continued as he showed the vote.

The words 'Yellow' and 'Pair' were written in different handwriting.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"And the second pair to be at risk tonight..." Chris revealed the final vote.

'Hildegard' and 'Rhiannon' were written on the parchment in different handwriting. Both girls nodded in understanding.

"I don't think this comes as a surprise to anyone," Rhiannon said.

"Bring it on! The Yieldless Yellow Pair is not Yieldless for naught!" Hildegard laughed.

"Tonight's duel: the Overheat Orange Pair versus the Yieldless Yellow Pair!" Chris announced. "Now it's time for you guys to decide who specifically will be dueling. Yieldless Yellow, you guys can go first."

Hildegard and Rhiannon made their way back to the voting lectern.

* * *

Both votes had been cast. Nestor and Hildegard held on to their respective parchments.

"Alright... reveal!" Chris instructed.

Both contestants opened their parchments to show everyone else. The Overheat Orange Pair had selected Rhiannon to duel. The Yieldless Yellow Pair had selected Nestor.

" _Moi_?" Nestor faux-gasped. He giggled.

"You guys underestimate me, but don't forget that I've won a duel before," Rhiannon winked.

"I mean, that was against Marble Soda. Not exactly the toughest opponent," Virgil pointed out.

"Thou art conveniently omitting the fact that young Bunko defeated Steve Jenkins in a prior duel!" Hildegard pointed out. "Not to mention the fact that Nestor is no Adonis himself!"

"As if I'm going to lose my favorite game so easily," Nestor retorted.

"Guys, I haven't even told you what the duel is yet," Chris mentioned flatly.

"Please, enlighten us, Christopher," Nestor allowed.

"Alright, here's how tonight's duel is going to go!" Chris began.

Several interns carried two large, deep table-like contraptions and set them a ways away from the voting ceremony, as well as torches to light the area.

"Your goal is to navigate several balls through a tilting maze that's full of holes and has no guard boundaries," Chris explained. "There are five indents in the maze that will each fit one ball. The first person to successfully get all five balls in an indent will win the duel!"

"Understood!" Rhiannon told him.

"If there are no more questions, the duel will begin... now!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** I'm deciding to take my selection to be the duelist as a compliment. Clearly, the Yellow pair sees me as a massive threat - which I am - and are too scared to let me continue playing. Well, I'm going to prove to them that they're right about me being a threat. _(He snaps his fingers emphatically.)_

 **Rhiannon:** This seems like the kind of duel that could go either way. I just need to concentrate and not let the pressure get to me, and that's certainly not a foreign concept to me. _(She laughs nervously.)_

* * *

Both duelists ran for the maze tables. Rhiannon took a small lead and managed to get to her table first.

"Your lead won't mean anything!" Nestor insisted as he made it to his table.

Rhiannon had already taken her first ball and put it on the maze. Using the handlebars in front of her, Rhiannon tilted the maze slightly to guide the ball towards the indents.

Nestor took his first ball and put it on his own maze. He began guiding it down the maze with his own handlebars.

"Shoot!" Rhiannon cursed.

Her ball had fallen off of the maze. It rolled down the slope below the maze, bringing it back to where Rhiannon could reach it from the handlebars. She put the ball back onto the maze and began guiding it again.

"Told you your lead wouldn't mean anything," Nestor teased.

His ball fell off of his maze. Nestor's face fell as he took the ball and put it back on the maze. Rhiannon laughed to herself but did not take her eyes off of her ball.

"Not a very exciting duel, is it?" Ginger commented.

"Considering it's the determining factor for whether or not my closest ally is going home, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to agree with that," Virgil remarked as he ate out of a bag of sour gummy worms.

Rhiannon managed to get her first ball into an indent. She cheered silently for herself as she put her second ball onto the maze.

"Rhiannon with her first ball. Will she be able to keep up the momentum? Or will Nestor sneak up on her?" Chris commentated.

Nestor concentrated on slowly but surely advancing his first ball. It wasn't long before he was able to get it into an indent.

"Nestor is back on the board!" Chris announced.

"Honey, I never _left_ the board!" Nestor shot back as he put his second ball onto his maze.

Rhiannon's ball fell through a hole in the maze. She winced and put it back onto the maze. She rolled her ball through her maze more quickly than normal in order to catch up, but this resulted in her losing control of it and sending the ball off the maze a second time.

Nestor managed to get his second ball into one of the indents.

"And Nestor takes the lead!" Chris declared. "Will he maintain it?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** There are about a million ways you could accidentally get your ball to fall off of the maze. Honestly, the indents aren't even that deep, so there's even a chance you could get a ball out of them on accident if you tilt the maze too hard. It's tough, to say the least.

* * *

Rhiannon focused on keeping her ball on the maze, going slowly and steadily as she maneuvered it across.

"Nestor does not exist... It's just you and the maze..." Rhiannon told herself.

Nestor immediately dropped his ball off of his maze.

"I don't know why, but I get the feeling that someone is trying to forget me," Nestor said over-seriously.

He returned his ball to his maze and began moving it through once again.

Rhiannon carefully guided her ball through the maze until she was able to settle it into one of the indents. She immediately grabbed another ball and put it on her maze.

"Rhiannon with her second ball!" Chris announced.

"Aren't we supposed to not distract the duelists?" Wisdom pointed out. "Where is this coming from?"

"I'll be real: I'm fully aware that this one isn't going to make for super engaging television on its own," Chris admitted. "But it was a challenge that fits into the budget, so..."

"I resent the implication that I am competing in a version of this game that is taking shortcuts," Shadya scowled.

"Shoot, that reminds me, I still need to call L-" Chris began.

"How were they able to afford the big screen on Kairi Island if there was a smaller budget?" Wisdom interrupted.

"Not important," Chris dismissed.

Nestor's third ball came near an indent, only for it to veer too closely to a hole, sending it down to the slope below.

"Damn it," Nestor grunted as he immediately grabbed the ball and returned it to the maze.

This bought Rhiannon enough time to get her third ball into its indent.

"You got this," Rhiannon told herself. "You've _got_ this."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Nestor:** It doesn't matter _how_ big of a lead you have; if you drop your balls, your opponent can and will catch up. Unless they drop their balls, too, I guess. You really do just need to be careful, and even if you are careful, that doesn't guarantee that you won't still mess it up.

* * *

Both duelists guided their balls through their respective mazes. Nestor rolled his third ball quickly, while Rhiannon kept her fourth ball going slowly and steadily.

"Going that quickly isn't going to get you anywhere but having to start over again," Rhiannon commented.

"Keep your eyes on your own balls!" Nestor retorted. He could not stifle a chuckle.

Nestor's ball fell off of the maze.

"Told you," Rhiannon said.

Rhiannon's ball fell off of the maze.

"Alright, focus, Nestor," Nestor told himself. "You did not get onto your favorite show to settle for eighth."

Nestor carefully guided his ball through his maze.

"Do you think Rhiannon has this?" Godfrey asked Hildegard.

"Why shouldst thou care?" Hildegard scoffed. "Thou hast never expressed any concern for my holy party."

"Who says I can't start?" Godfrey frowned.

"What wouldst thou have to gain?" Hildegard doubted.

"I can't talk to you without having an ulterior motive?" Godfrey asked.

"Thy presence in this very game had an ulterior motive," Hildegard countered.

"I guess that's fair," Godfrey winced.

Both Nestor and Rhiannon got their balls into an indent. They both swiftly put their next balls onto their respective mazes.

"It's closing in on the end of the duel!" Chris announced. "Who will earn their spot in the final seven?"

Rhiannon immediately dropped her ball.

"Fuck," Rhiannon panicked. She quickly replaced her ball.

Nestor's ball came dangerously close to the edge of the maze, but he managed to prevent it from falling off.

"You are _not_ out of this, Nestor Orion Bell!" Nestor whispered to himself.

Nestor eased his ball across a slim path and towards an open indent. He managed to successfully cross the path, settling his ball into the slot. Nestor put his final ball onto the maze.

"Both Nestor and Rhiannon only have one ball left!" Chris announced. "What's it going to be?!"

Both duelists concentrated intensely on their task, completely drowning Chris out of their focus. They guided their final balls through the twists and turns of the maze, easing them around the holes and edges that would force them to start over again.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Chris!" Rhiannon called as she sunk her final ball into its slot.

Chris ran up to Rhiannon's maze. Sure enough, all five balls had made it into indents.

"Rhiannon wins the duel!" Chris announced.

Nestor dropped the handlebars of his maze, his fists clenched and his eyes watering.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** The stalemate is stale no longer! Now my holy party has taken the majority! Truly, wondrous times await the great Lady Hildegard and her knights!

* * *

Nestor stood near the Dock of Shame as the other contestants met up with him to say their goodbyes.

"Well, I did everything I could," Nestor sighed.

"Eighth place certainly isn't bad," Rhiannon smiled genuinely. "You still made the top third of the game."

"I suppose, but I genuinely thought I could and would win," Nestor lamented.

"With me in the game? That's your own fault," Shadya snorted.

"Be nice," Rhiannon frowned.

"It's been good, Blueberry," Virgil told his friend as he approached him and they shared a handshake-hug.

"I _know_ you've got it in you to win this," Nestor smiled. "Show the world what being Overheat Orange is all about!"

Virgil hesitated for a bit before kissing Nestor on the cheek.

"Aw, don't do this to me now!" Nestor blushed with a massive smile.

"Go get all that insider information from the losers," Virgil smirked. "You'll have so much to write about when you get home."

"Will do!" Nestor beamed. He removed his orange bandana and tossed it to Chris. "Bye-bye, everyone! Keep this game interesting, or I'll be seriously pissed!"

The final seven responded with "Bye"s, waves, or, in Shadya's case, indifference as they watched Nestor walk down the Dock of Shame and board the Boat of Losers. Once he boarded the seacraft, it drove away.

"With that, Virgil, you are now in limbo," Chris acknowledged. "The Overheat Orange Pair is no more, but Yieldless Yellow, Blazing Blue, and Pyro Purple are still going to have to fight it out. Have fun with that. Hehaha. Anyway, that's all I have for you tonight. See you guys tomorrow!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Wow, that's the second duel I've won. Honestly, I think I understand what Nestor meant when he said that he thought that he could and would win. I'm feeling really confident about my chances! I certainly wouldn't mind a million dollars.

 **Virgil:** Welp, it wouldn't be Virgil if I didn't lose my closest ally at some point. I guess I've still got Mystery Pop, and Strawberry to a lesser extent. Also, I'm Invincible this next round, and, if my hunch is correct, that could guarantee that I make the next shuffle. I don't know what all that's going to entail, but hopefully, it's something helpful.

* * *

Chris stood at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"You can know literally all there is to know about Total Drama, but even that won't guarantee victory in this fickle mistress of a game," Chris grinned. "With only three pairs left to duke it out, who will end up at risk? Who will end up dueling? Who will end up leaving? It truly is every man and woman for themselves out here, on the one and only Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

Overheat Orange: Yellow

Yieldless Yellow: Blue

Blazing Blue: Yellow

Pyro Purple: Orange

* * *

 **Yieldless Yellow Pair:**

Hildegard - The Paladin

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

 **Blazing Blue Pair:**

Godfrey - The Mysterious Roboticist

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Pyro Purple Pair:**

Ginger - The Snarky Robot

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

 **Limbo:**

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger_

 _Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist_

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: Nestor is another one of those characters that I've had waiting in the wings for years but never really got around to writing until this season, and I definitely enjoyed writing him. I think, of everyone in the cast, he really enjoyed being there the most of everyone, what with Total Drama being his favorite thing of all time and all, and he definitely played a strong game worthy of a superfan, I think. I also enjoyed writing someone who tended to be kind of rude without even really trying to be: a trait that I felt was fitting of someone like him who spends most of his time watching reality TV and blogging about it. He isn't malicious or antagonistic; just a touch too sassy for most characters' comfort. I think we've all met people like Nestor before. He definitely had his thumb on the pulse of the goings-on of the game, but ultimately that made him a big mental threat. Love him or hate him, Nestor's time has come. What did you think of Nestor?_


	20. Don't Tell People That To Their Face

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he stood on the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius. "In our last episode, the lines were pretty clearly drawn in the sand: Overheat Orange and Blazing Blue versus Yieldless Yellow versus Pyro Purple. Attempts were made to tear down the walls, but everyone kind of knew in the back of their minds that nothing was going to change that round. Hehaha. Wisdom patched things up with Virgil after their early-game conflict, Godfrey sought advice from Shadya about how he should handle the Ginger situation, and Hildegard told Ginger to her face that robots just straight-up don't have an afterlife. Fun stuff.

"The challenge was a simple tug-of-war tournament that saw pairs going up against each other in three rounds. Godfrey even tried to get the Overheat Orange Pair to throw it, fearing the possibility of Ginger getting mud in her circuits. His fears proved to be for nothing, though, as the Pyro Purple Pair won the challenge. They chose the Overheat Orange Pair to duel, and, with the sides very clearly defined, the Yieldless Yellow Pair was quick to follow them.

"Nestor and Rhiannon had been chosen to duel that night. They had to guide balls through a tilting maze and into indents at the end of the maze. They both fought hard, but Rhiannon managed to pull through, sending Nestor away on the Boat of Losers, and putting Virgil in limbo.

"Only three pairs left. Who will guarantee themselves a spot in the final six, and who will fall just short of making it that far? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Virgil had taken to fishing at the Dock of Shame. Wisdom walked up to the edge of the Dock and sat by him.

"How are you feeling?" Wisdom asked.

"Like someone bought me an ice-cream-cone, I dropped it, and they bought me a new one," Virgil answered. "You know, you're hit with this big loss, and you feel a little better about it, but you still know that something's been wasted, and it's just depressing."

"Why does that make so much sense?" Wisdom asked in awe. "...So, do you still want to work together?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Virgil asked skeptically. "Eh, it's not like I really have much of a choice. You and Mystery Pop are the only ones who really want to work with me. Top Banana never talks to me, Gingersnap is joined at the hip with her, and both of the Yellow pair just straight-up don't like me."

"What do you think we can do about them?" Wisdom asked. "There has to be something, right?"

"Well, there's nothing I can do, since I'm in limbo right now," Virgil said. "But if your pair won today's challenge, then one of them is guaranteed to go home."

"...That _is_ true, isn't it?!" Wisdom realized. "Do you think Godfrey and I can do it?"

"I've seen you pull out a win when you were desperate before. In the round where Elmer went home," Virgil told her. "I guess in the round where Sugarcrash went home, too, but then, she kind of screwed herself over."

"...Oh, Liberty? You'd think someone who was on the cusp of being eliminated would be more alert, right?" Wisdom thought aloud.

"I mean, she never really seemed like she cared about being here all that much, but I didn't know her all that well, so I can't really say," Virgil figured. "Anyway, the point is: we're not out of this just yet. At the very least, one person from the opposing alliance is going to duel."

Wisdom nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Mostly, I'm just trying to keep my own spirits up. I'm not at any risk of going home today, but if Mystery Pop or Strawberry end up biting the dust, then I'm not sure there's a whole lot more I'll be able to do. Ugh, Blueberry was so close to winning that duel... Damn it!

 **Wisdom:** Hm, I did make a deal of sorts with Shadya, didn't I? So I might not be entirely doomed if Godfrey went home today, right? But then again, Shadya made it clear that I was only a backup ally, huh? So I really should do whatever I can to make sure one of her allies goes home, yeah?! _(She looks determined.)_

* * *

Rhiannon found Godfrey sitting in the shelter, looking at Ginger's luxury item.

"Hey! Did Ginger say you could mess with that?" Rhiannon objected.

"I mean... it belongs to me. I made it," Godfrey said. "I haven't used it in a while, but I was interested to see what kind of things Ginger might have done with it."

"Just because Ginger is a robot doesn't mean she doesn't have the right to her own privacy," Rhiannon scolded.

"...Yeah, I guess I can't argue with that," Godfrey conceded as he powered the device off and put it back in its bag. "It's weird. One day, Ginger is going out of her way to come up with a backstory to upload into my memory because I said it bugged me that I didn't have one. The next day, she refuses to even speak to me and proudly proclaims to everyone that she wants me eliminated."

"That's what happens when your entire relationship is built around a lie," Rhiannon said flatly.

"A _necessary_ lie," Godfrey insisted. "It never my intention to hurt Ginger. I only did this for the sake of the future. It's an important step towards the creation of robots that are indistinguishable from people. You'd think Ginger would understand, since I programmed those ideals into her, and she would always talk about them."

"Women are more sensitive than men. You need to understand that," Rhiannon pointed out.

"...I mean, I created her brain from scratch. If anyone should understand her level of sensitivity, it should be me," Godfrey mentioned. "On the plus side, this does mean that she is capable of expanding her thoughts and emotions."

"You're despicable," Rhiannon scoffed.

"I don't understand what your issue with me is!" Godfrey objected. "I haven't done anything wrong!"

"You claim that you want people to see robots as equal to humans, but you _don't_ see them as equals! That's my issue with you!" Rhiannon snapped. "You don't see Ginger as a friend, or even as a human being! You see her as _your_ robot. _Your_ creation. No human should belong to anyone!"

Godfrey looked to the ground ponderously. "...You may be right," he conceded. "I appreciate your honesty, Rhiannon. This could be exactly what I needed to hear."

"Oh, so you do care about honesty," Rhiannon huffed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I guess I hadn't really realized it, but I suppose I do still see Ginger as my creation. I'd likened her to a daughter before, but maybe I do subconsciously just think of her as my robot. I'm still not entirely sure why Rhiannon is so aggressive with me, though. Sure, she has a point about how I view Ginger, but she was never this mad at Ginger for seeing me as her robot. Hm.

 **Rhiannon:** I need to stay positive, so I've been trying to avoid Godfrey as much as I can ever since the truth came out about him. He just makes me... so, _so_ mad. I don't like it. Thankfully, unless the Blue pair wins today's challenge, they'll be at risk tonight, so, whatever happens, I think we can ensure that he duels.

* * *

Shadya found Ginger sitting alone at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"Have you spoken with Godfrey yet?" Shadya inquired.

"Tch. Straight to the point, are we?" Ginger grimaced. "For your information, no I have not. I might later. I don't know! Why do you care?!"

"Because the longer this distracts you, the longer you will not be at your best," Shadya explained. "I will not have an ally of mine performing so poorly, especially when your game is linked to mine on this island."

"Oh, phew, for a second there I was worried that you might have cared about me as a person," Ginger snarked.

"If I had my way tonight, Godfrey would be riding the Boat of Losers," Shadya stated. "Thankfully, it will be incredibly easy to get my way, since all that needs to happen is for either us or the Yellow pair to win the challenge, and from there, whichever of our pairs doesn't win just needs to beat him in a duel, which I think any of us could feasibly manage."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Ginger questioned.

"It means your time to get past this is running short," Shadya explained. "You were so adamant about keeping him on the day when we found out about him because you wanted answers. Get your answers. Today."

"You and I have... talked about that!" Ginger winced.

"Just because I understand you, does not mean I empathize with you," Shadya made clear. "I will not have you dragging me down. Don't forget what happened to Jeremy after he started weighing me down."

"And squander that precious majority that you've worked so hard to get back? Please," Ginger scoffed.

"I will be winning this game no matter who goes home when. Having a majority is not relevant to me," Shadya claimed.

"Whatever. I'll talk to Godfrey later. Chill out," Ginger reiterated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** The more Shadya goes on about how victory is inevitable or whatever, the more insecure she sounds. "Oh, I already know I'm going to win, but I'm still going to get on your case about holding me back with your emotions because I cannot comprehend anything but fueling my own ego." Give me several breaks.

 **Shadya:** I will never understand why one would program an AI to be so annoying. What practical purpose does that serve?

* * *

Hildegard paced back and forth when Wisdom approached her.

"Hildegard? Is something on your mind?" Wisdom asked.

"Ginger hast bestowed unto me a most fascinating conundrum!" Hildegard answered. "If all of the data she held within her were to be copied to a separate computer, or however it is robots work, would that still be Ginger? What if it were cut and pasted?"

Wisdom opened her mouth as if to speak, but stopped herself as she thought about it further.

"So thou agreeth that it is no easy question to answer," Hildegard acknowledged.

"If the data was copied, then there would be two Gingers, right?" Wisdom answered. "Two Gingers who could do their own thing? They would both be Ginger, but the Ginger we know would be the Ginger we know, and the new one would be a copy of Ginger, right?"

"Mayhaps, but if something were to happen to the first Ginger, the new Ginger would be virtually identical," Hildegard posited. "She'd have the same memories as the first one. I daresay we'd be unable to tell the difference."

"...If you had a favorite toy, and it got destroyed, and you got a new one, it wouldn't be the same, right?" Wisdom proposed. "It's the sentimental value of it all that matters, isn't it?"

"A toy holds no memory, no sense of self," Hildegard argued. "The closest thing Ginger has to a soul could be replicated and placed elsewhere if need be. Or cut and pasted, if need be."

"You're religious, aren't you?" Wisdom mentioned. "You don't believe Ginger has a soul?"

"Ech. The words 'ginger' and 'no soul' doth bring me back to a sour part of my childhood," Hildegard pouted as she played with her orange hair. "But verily, she is but a simulation of humanity. She may have thoughts of her own, but so does a dog, and dogs do not have souls."

"That's kind of depressing, isn't it?" Wisdom frowned. "The Christian God is meant to symbolize goodness, right? Would it be good if He didn't allow Ginger a soul even though she's as self-aware as a biological human?"

"The morality of humanity and the morality of a deity are very different," Hildegard stated. "'Tis the sort of hard truth that I felt she deserved to know."

"You told her that?!" Wisdom gasped. "Even if you do believe that, isn't that sort of rude to tell someone? That the god you worship doesn't love them? Is that good, by the standards of a human or a god?"

"...I must concede that thou hast a point there," Hildegard admitted. "Truly, that was not the sort of good thing a paladin of the Lord should do. An apology unto Ginger is in order! Gramercy, sweet Wisdom! Thou hast truly lived up to thy name today!"

Hildegard ran off to find Ginger.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I must confess that tact has never been my strongest suit, but it is not befitting of a holy knight to push away those who are simply curious about their own salvation! I can only pray that I am able to remedy this posthaste!

 **Wisdom:** ...But if the first Ginger was shut down and then powered back on years later, which Ginger would truly _be_ Ginger?

* * *

Godfrey sat by Virgil as the latter continued fishing.

"...Virgil, am I a bad person?" Godfrey asked.

"You aren't even close to being the worst person in this game," Virgil told his friend. "Why? Where's this coming from?"

"Earlier today, Rhiannon scolded me for, well, pretty much everything about what I've done in this game," Godfrey relayed. "Lying about having amnesia, lying about being a robot, lying to Ginger about her true identity, and treating Ginger as less than a human being."

"Do you agree with what Cherry Pie said?" Virgil asked.

"I didn't think I did, but the more I've sat on it... yeah, I think I do agree with her," Godfrey nodded. "I'm a liar, and I justified lying to everyone on the basis of it being for the experiment. But there even _being_ an experiment operates on the logic that Ginger is just my project, and that defeats the entire purpose of my goals! I want to create a world where robots are equal to humans, and no good person would experiment on humans. So how is okay that I'm experimenting on Ginger?"

"I know there are holes in that line of thinking, but I can't put them to words right now," Virgil confessed. "I mean, you said yourself that the whole point of the experiment was to see if Gingersnap could be seen as equal to other people at all, right? For her benefit?"

"Yeah, but the fact that that had to be an experiment at all..." Godfrey began.

"I mean, it makes sense to me," Virgil shrugged. "Robots and humans aren't the same. Equality doesn't necessarily mean sameness. Think of it like... two plus four and three plus three are both equal to six, but they're two different equations."

"I'm not sure I follow," Godfrey said, confused.

"I'm not sure I follow, either. It made sense in my head," Virgil chuckled. "But either way, I don't think you should really beat yourself up over this. Cherry Pie is a bleeding heart, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you need to remember that at the end of the day, this was all to see how far your progress in making robots has come. At least, I think that's what it was. So to answer your question: No, I don't think you're a bad person. I think people are still just kind of shocked that all of this is even happening and are reacting on instinct."

"Thanks," Godfrey smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I don't think Virgil is entirely wrong, but what Rhiannon said had some truth to it that I just can't shake. I absolutely have been thinking of Ginger as my creation, my experiment, and not as a fellow teenager. Geez, it sounds even more messed-up when I say it out loud. What is wrong with me?

 **Virgil:** Consoling people has never been my best talent, and I know next to nothing about robots, but Mystery Pop is my friend, so I was going to be there for him. Hopefully, things work out. _(He starts eating a box of chocolate caramels.)_

* * *

Rhiannon and Shadya met up on the beach.

"Hey, can we talk?" Rhiannon asked vulnerably.

"Your tone suggests an emotional talk," Shadya recognized. "I'm not sure I'm the right person for that."

"You're the only person for it," Rhiannon insisted. "You really upset me last night, and I've been upset with you about it ever since, and I don't want that to keep being the case."

"I did?" Shadya asked. "...Right, at the Tent of Banquets. Frankly, I still don't understand what I said that upset you."

"And that's why I want to talk with you about this," Rhiannon said. "I didn't think you were going out of your way to hurt my feelings, so an honest and adult talk is in order so we can avoid this happening again."

"If I hurt your feelings without trying before, I can't promise that it won't happen again," Shadya stated.

"Look, I know that you've done a lot of cool things, and I get that you're proud of those things. You should be," Rhiannon prefaced. "But telling other people that they haven't accomplished anything or that their accomplishments are meaningless isn't really called for."

"I told you that, your accomplishments pale in comparison to mine. Which is the objective truth," Shadya countered. "Everyone's accomplishment's pale in comparison to mine."

"Well, maybe don't tell people that to their face. They generally don't appreciate it!" Rhiannon chastised.

"Mm, I suppose everyone seeks to find worth in their life. Perhaps that was out-of-line," Shadya mumbled. "If you weren't my most loyal and trustworthy ally, I might not have acknowledged that. Consider this a sign of..." Shadya mumbled the last word.

"I'm sorry?" Rhiannon prompted.

"I shouldn't acknowledge friendship during the game," Shadya denied.

"You just did!" Rhiannon giggled as she hugged Shadya. "I forgive you, Shadya. I'm so glad we had this talk."

"Mm..." Shadya responded distantly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I cannot allow myself to get close to people. I made that mistake early on with Jeremy, and he ended up betraying me more than once. I don't believe Rhiannon is the type to betray me, but I will still have to defeat her in this game. Keeping my emotional distance from her should make that easier for both of us.

 **Rhiannon:** Shadya may like to play herself up like she's this big, perfect figurehead, but deep down, she's human just like the rest of us. It really means a lot that she was able to... well, I guess she didn't technically apologize, but I could tell how she felt.

* * *

Ginger and Hildegard met up away from camp.

"How urgent can this possibly be?" Ginger questioned.

"Incredibly!" Hildegard maintained. "I owe thee a thousand apologies for what I told thee yesterday!"

"About how God doesn't love me and that I'm easily replaceable? Come on, it's not like it's spiraled me into an existential quagmire or anything. You're _fine_." Ginger forced a grin.

"Please, Ginger," Hildegard sighed. "Obviously, I've never met someone like thee before, and the Bible says nothing of this sort of thing. I cannot claim to speak for the Lord when He has bestowed unto us no such information. I simply ventured a guess, but I could very well be wrong. Perhaps He does have the goodness in His heart for thee. Thou art as self-aware as any of the rest of us. Perhaps thou dost possess a soul after all."

"Well, I... I appreciate the apology, but that's not really what I was hung up on," Ginger told her. "It's more the fact that, even if I do have a 'soul', all my memories and data and everything can be copied and placed elsewhere. Even if I die, I'd still live on, it just wouldn't be me, even though it is functionally me. In essence, my soul is worthless."

"Fie! What would Godfrey think if he heard thee discarding his hard work as worthless?" Hildegard objected.

"He should have thought about that before trying to create life!" Ginger shouted.

"Thou hast been gifted with the privilege of life. E'en if what thou sayest is true, about how thou can be copied, thou still hast been blessed with no worry of thy body falling prey to illness or age," Hildegard said. "'Tis entirely possible that thou may not need to be copied at all! Thou really must speak with Godfrey about this."

"I'm going to get around to it," Ginger insisted. "I don't want to think or talk about these things any more than I have to. How can anyone bear to be religious?"

"Having an entire book about my faith and thousands of years of insight on that book doesn't hurt," Hildegard figured. "But thou hast the ability to speak with thy creator directly. He should have the answers thou seeketh."

"I know, I know," Ginger grumbled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** I never gave any of this a second thought when I thought I was the one who made Mark. I guess I just wasn't programmed with that much empathy for others. That's it. I'm going to speak to him right now. I need answers. Now.

 **Hildegard:** Ginger is a strange case indeed. I must wonder how theologians would think about robots. Might Ginger indeed have a soul? Is copying her memory morally sound? Alas, I am ill-equipped to answer such deep questions, try though I may.

* * *

Rhiannon sat by Virgil, who was still fishing.

"How's it going?" Rhiannon greeted.

"Meh," Virgil answered honestly.

"Can I ask what all that was about when we talked yesterday?" Rhiannon requested. "About questioning if I was bi?"

"I... I wasn't questioning it. I was just making sure I wasn't mistaken," Virgil sighed.

"What business is it of yours?" Rhiannon leered.

"I'm... trying to come to terms with being bi myself," Virgil admitted. "I figured that, if you were bi, you'd be someone I could talk to about it."

"...Oh," Rhiannon's face fell. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I had no idea!"

"I didn't think you did," Virgil chuckled. "So, since you clearly are, I just wanted to ask-"

"Virgil... I should stop you right there," Rhiannon interrupted. "Not because I'm not willing to talk to you, or because I don't want you to be comfortable with yourself... It's..."

"You're not really bi?" Virgil guessed.

"As far as you, the industry, and my viewers know, I am," Rhiannon said hintingly. "That's all I'm going to say on the subject."

"I gotcha," Virgil nodded. "Well, ain't that unfortunate?"

"Sorry I couldn't be of any help," Rhiannon apologized.

"I meant for you," Virgil said. "I mean, yeah, for me, too, but it sounds like things aren't going so well with your job."

"Things are going perfectly well," Rhiannon said hintingly once again.

"I gotcha," Virgil repeated.

Silence.

"Damn, that got heavy pretty quickly," Virgil commented. He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out two lollipops. "At least we've got sugar to ease the general pain of life." He offered one to Rhiannon.

"I thought you didn't share your candy with anyone but close friends," Rhiannon noted. She accepted the lollipop anyway.

"You trusted me enough to fill me in on the goings-on of your life," Virgil shrugged. "So I trust you enough to share this with you at the very least. Don't expect another." He smirked.

Rhiannon giggled. She unwrapped the lollipop and put it in her mouth. "Thankth."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** It really has been a heavy past couple of days. At the very least, the finish line is quickly approaching. You're almost there, Jessica. Just another week or so.

 **Virgil:** I do hope Cherry Pie ends up living her best life. Of course, that will have to come without the million dollars from this game. I am still here to win, after all. I don't think any of us came this far to lose. I certainly didn't.

* * *

Hildegard and Shadya ate lunch together.

"Do you suppose Rhiannon is going to go home tonight?" Shadya mentioned.

"I should hope not! What brings this about?!" Hildegard gasped.

"Someone from the Blue pair and the Yellow pair will be dueling tonight," Shadya explained. "Obviously, you're a bigger challenge threat than she is. I suppose Wisdom isn't a massive threat in her own right, but I also suppose that Rhiannon may insist on dueling Godfrey, who I feel could beat her in a duel."

"Thou art making a lot of assumptions," Hildegard pointed out.

"A lot of educated guesses," Shadya corrected.

"Thy most glaring assumption is that thy pair will win today's challenge!" Hildegard mentioned.

"I don't see why we wouldn't," Shadya stated. "My pair is easily the strongest in challenges."

"Thou hast not won every challenge thou hast participated in," Hildegard pointed out. "Not even The Best Team had a perfect streak!"

"You know which teams lost twice on that island? Yours and Rhiannon's, and Wisdom's," Shadya countered.

"Even if thy pair does win, it does no good to say something so discouraging!" Hildegard argued.

"It's not that I want Rhiannon to go home. Far from it," Shadya said. "I brought it up so we could discuss ways to avoid having that happen."

"If thou art so confident in thy pair, then perhaps thou should let the Yellow pair win the challenge and then thou can win the duel!" Hildegard exasperated.

Shadya thought about it.

"Art thou... actually putting stock in what I said?" Hildegard asked.

"It's not the worst idea," Shadya said. "Of course, Ginger is more likely to duel than I am, but she's proven herself numerous times..."

"Ha! HA! We shalt carve a path of victory for Lady Hildegard's holy party!" Hildegard declared.

"Calm down. I'm _thinking_ about it. I am not guaranteeing that it will happen," Shadya groaned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** With only three pairs left in the game, the two pairs who don't win the challenge will be dueling by default. If the weaker pair in my alliance ends up dueling, that could go horribly wrong. If I want to ensure that all my allies make it through this round - and to the next shuffle, most likely - then it would make sense for the strongest of us to duel tonight.

 **Hildegard:** Jubilation! Mine ideas truly are paid heed by Lady Shadya! At last, my words shall forge the steel that is our razor-sharp cunning!

* * *

Godfrey and Wisdom went out to forage for food.

"...We really need to win today's challenge," Godfrey said.

"Isn't that always the goal?" Wisdom pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but today we _really_ need to win it," Godfrey reiterated. "If either of the other pairs wins the challenge, we'll be dueling against the pair that doesn't, but if we win the challenge, then both the Yellow and Purple pairs will be dueling. That way, the other alliance is guaranteed to lose someone."

"Do you think we'll be able to beat Shadya in the challenge?" Wisdom wondered. "Or Hildegard, for that matter?"

"Both of us have managed it in the past," Godfrey pointed out. "That's the thing with this game: nothing is guaranteed."

"Isn't that the truth?" Wisdom chuckled. "But wouldn't the other pairs realize that as well and do whatever it took to win the challenge? So they could prevent both of them from having to duel?"

"That's a good point," Godfrey conceded. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but stopped himself.

"Is something on your mind?" Wisdom pressed.

"I shouldn't," Godfrey insisted.

"Why not?" Wisdom questioned.

"I... I don't want to be a bad person," Godfrey quavered.

"What did you want to say, Godfrey?" Wisdom asked softly.

"I... was going to suggest we sabotage the other pairs in the challenge," Godfrey confessed. "But then I remembered what Rhiannon said to me before."

"What did she say?" Wisdom inquired.

"She reminded me that I really don't see Ginger as an equal. That all the lies I've told aren't really as justified as I thought they were," Godfrey explained. "And now here I am thinking about sabotaging people. For what? The cash prize? I was hoping to spend that to further advance Ginger, but... I... I just know."

"Do you think you're a bad person?" Wisdom asked.

"I'm honestly not sure," Godfrey answered.

"Mark!" Ginger called as she walked up to the two. "I'm... ready to talk to you."

Godfrey smiled. "Wisdom, would you mind leaving the two of us alone?"

Wisdom nodded and took her leave.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Ginger's true identity certainly is causing a lot of introspection, isn't it? ...So, Godfrey thinks we should sabotage the others, huh? Is that really so bad an idea? Would Hildegard, Ginger, or Shadya hesitate to do the same if it came down to it? That's just part of the game, isn't it?

* * *

"So, you're still calling me Mark," Godfrey pointed out.

"What's it to you?!" Ginger grunted.

"Well, it... literally is about me," Godfrey mentioned, confused. "I think we should be 100% honest with each other here, Ginger. I want us to achieve perfect understanding."

"Well, if you must know, I still feel like all my hard work has been taken away from me right out of nowhere, and calling you by your real name keeps reminding me of that," Ginger admitted.

"So, you still wish to see me as a robot?" Godfrey asked. "You see robots as beneath humans, don't you?"

"I don't want to, but robots are a creation of humans, aren't they?" Ginger figured. "I suppose it's similar to how humans feel about gods, or whatever each person believes created humans."

"Do you believe in god?" Godfrey asked.

"I'm fully aware of how difficult it was for you to put me together. After all, I thought I was the one who did it," Ginger mentioned. "I can't imagine anything even more complicated could have happened by chance. I don't have enough information to believe in any specific god or gods, but I struggle to believe that there simply is no god. What about you?"

"I'm in a similar boat, actually," Godfrey told her. "Ginger, you said before that you see humans as above robots. I must confess that I think I might feel the same way."

"And that goes against your desire for robots and humans to live as equals," Ginger deduced.

"Exactly!" Godfrey confirmed. "Oh, I'm so glad you understand."

"Give me _some_ credit. It seems like you put a lot of your ideals into me," Ginger said.

"That was mostly for the sake of the red herring," Godfrey confessed.

"Red herring?" Ginger asked.

"Ideally, we would have gone for the entire game with nobody suspecting any prior connection between the two of us," Godfrey explained. "But in case anyone did suspect us, I programmed you to think that you were, in fact, fully human, and that I was your robot. I figured that nobody would suspect that the reverse was true if they already heard one shocking revelation. But make no mistake: I wish for you to become your own person, with your own opinions and ideals."

"...Mark, do you have a backup of my data?" Ginger asked quietly.

"Of course. In the device you got as your luxury item," Godfrey confirmed. "It's a couple of days out-of-date, but it's mostly close. Do you want me to bring it up to date?"

"No!" Ginger cried. "I don't want to be replaceable!"

"...Ginger, nothing could ever replace you," Godfrey welled up.

"But... if something happened to me, you could just make a copy of me, as if I never existed," Ginger mumbled.

"I'll make you a promise, Ginger," Godfrey said solemnly. "I will keep the data I've gathered to use as a basis for future artificial intelligence - altered beyond recognition, of course. But I will never, ever make a copy of you." He ran his thumb over the cut on her cheek. "I might get some new silicon overlays so you don't have to keep this. I-If that's what you want."

"If I want new parts, I can get new parts with the prize money," Ginger grinned. "It's like you said: you want me to be my own person. You don't have to take care of me. I happen to know a thing or two about how robots are maintained."

Godfrey broke a smile as tears ran down his face. "Can I hug you?"

"Oh, get over here, you big bag of meat and emotions," Ginger laughed as she pulled her creator in for a hug.

The two held on to each other tightly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I'm so glad Ginger and I are coming to understand each other more. Lying to her, altering her memories, treating her like some fragile china doll... I'm done with all that. I wonder if I should change her name. 'Gynoid Imitating Normal Girl Expression Routines' implies that she's a knock-off and not normal. I'll ask her about it later.

 **Ginger:** Phew, that is a load and a half off of my mind. I was really nervous going into that conversation, I'm not going to lie. But now, I'm a lot more optimistic about this whole "robot" thing. Mark... Godfrey and I are going to have a lot to discuss going forward.

* * *

The three remaining pairs met up with Chris at an area a short ways away from the campsite.

"Good afternoon, contestants!" Chris grinned. "It's time for yet another challenge! This is the big one, folks!"

"And what shall our important challenge be, Chris?!" Hildegard asked readily.

"Now, I'm sure long-time fans of the show will be reminded of one challenge in particular when the pairs have been handcuffed together," Chris hinted. "Today's challenge is the natural end to that progression: a tri-armed triathlon!"

"Child's play," Shadya smirked. "I've done several decathlons. I thought this was supposed to be a challenge."

"Dealing with your constant back-talk certainly is," Chris snipped. "Anyway, this will, of course, take place in three rounds. The first round will consist of all three pairs, the second round will consist of the two pairs who didn't win the first round, and the third round will consist of the two pairs who won the previous two rounds. Whoever wins that third round will be the ultimate winners of the challenge!"

Interns arrived on-scene to handcuff the pairs together.

"What exactly will each round entail?" Godfrey asked.

"You'll see. Hehaha," Chris chuckled. "Any other questions?"

"Is a hotdog a sandwich?" Wisdom asked.

"What?" Chris asked flatly. "I, I mean... no, it isn't, but-"

"Why not?" Wisdom asked.

"Let's get this first round underway!" Chris decided.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Personally, I'd love to win a pair challenge. I've already dueled twice since we got on this island, and I'm not really interested in going for a third time.

 **Wisdom:** Would I be at risk if my pair lost today? Is Godfrey not a much bigger target in everyone else's eyes? Well, is it really worth the risk? Should I not do everything I can to ensure the safety of myself and my ally? Is that not basic gameplay? ...Where was I going with this?

 **Ginger:** I'm as determined as ever to win this! Not for the sake of my life, but for the sake of proving that I can accomplish anything I want to! Whatever it is, bring it on, Chris!

* * *

Chris had led the pairs to the Dock of Shame.

"The first leg of your triathlon!" Chris began. "You must run the perimeter of the beach around the island. Behind Mt. Chrisuvius are three flags: one of each pair color. The pair who nabs their flag and stick it in the flagpole holder..." Chris tapped a flagpole holder with his foot. "...will win the first leg and move on straight to the third."

"In order for it to be a sandwich, it needs two pieces of bread, I'm pretty sure," Godfrey told Wisdom.

"But what if you cut one piece of bread in twain?" Wisdom mentioned. "Then you are using one piece of bread to form a sandwich, no?"

"...No, you just turned one piece into two," Godfrey mentioned.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

"Shoot!" Godfrey jumped.

The Yieldless Yellow and Pyro Purple Pairs went off before the Blazing Blue Pair were able to gather themselves and run for it.

"How badly do you want to beat Godfrey?" Shadya asked Ginger.

"I want to beat everyone!" Ginger said enthusiastically.

"I've got a plan," Shadya told her. "But it involves us throwing the first round of the triathlon."

"What's the plan?" Ginger asked skeptically.

Shadya slowed down her pace, allowing for the Blazing Blue Pair to catch up.

"I'm not sure I get what-"

Ginger was interrupted by the sound of Godfrey shouting as Shadya tripped him, sending him and Wisdom to the ground.

"What do you have to gain from sabotaging us?" Wisdom groaned as she and Godfrey stood back up.

"...If the Yellow pair wins this round, and the Purple pair wins the next round, then the Blue pair will be guaranteed to duel," Godfrey realized.

"For real? Nice!" Ginger nudged Shadya.

"Have you forgotten that I am a genius?" Shadya scoffed. "Why do you sound surprised?"

"So you're just not going to let us pass? We're just supposed to wait here until the Yellow pair wins?" Wisdom questioned.

"If you think you can get past me, I'd like to see you try," Shadya chuckled.

Godfrey immediately ran for the water, dragging Wisdom along with him.

"What are you doing?!" Wisdom gasped.

"Ginger can't swim," Godfrey mentioned.

"Can _we_ swim when we're handcuffed together?" Wisdom doubted.

"Would you rather just stand there and let them stop us?" Godfrey mentioned.

"So are we just going to let them swim around us, or...?" Ginger asked Shadya.

"It's humorous," Shadya smirked.

"This is true," Ginger snickered.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Yieldless Yellow Pair made it to their flag behind Mt. Chrisuvius.

"Is it just me, or did the other pairs just kind of vanish?" Rhiannon pointed out as she grabbed the flag.

"Fear not, good Lady Jessica! Lady Shadya has made a pact with myself that she is assisting our pair to win today's challenge!" Hildegard boasted as the two continued running. "T'was my idea. This way, we can guarantee that the two of us get by safely!"

"Shadya's really confident that she or Ginger can win a duel if she agreed to that," Rhiannon thought aloud. "Then again, they're both pretty good in challenges, so I don't think that confidence is misplaced. Interesting."

"I will take 'interesting' as a complement to mine own strategic mastery," Hildegard sniffed.

* * *

Ginger and Shadya watched as Godfrey and Wisdom tried to figure out how to swim while handcuffed.

"They're really committed to this, aren't they?" Ginger commented.

"I believe that they realize that they've already lost this round but simply refuse to admit it," Shadya told her.

"The Yieldless Yellow Pair win the first round!" Chris announced, Hildegard and Rhiannon next to him with their flag in the holder.

Godfrey and Wisdom shared an annoyed glance as they left the water.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** So the other two pairs are conspiring against me and Wisdom, huh? I guess it's a smart move to try and shut us out of potentially winning, but there's still round two. It'd be us versus the Purple pair, but it's still doable... I think.

* * *

The three pairs stood by Chris at the Dock of Shame.

"The Yieldless Yellow Pair has won their way straight to the third round," Chris recapped. "So this round will be the Blazing Blue Pair versus the Pyro Purple Pair."

"What will we be tasked with doing?" Wisdom wondered.

Chris took a walkie talkie and spoke into it. "You're up."

Just then, a boat drove through the distance and stopped itself a fair way away from the Dock of Shame.

"Just like the last round, your goal is to grab a flag of your pair's color and bring it back to stick into the flagpole holder," Chris said. "This time, the flags are on that boat over there. I hope you know how to swim while handcuffed to someone else!"

Ginger stood there with her mouth agape, eyes wide, and brow furrowed.

"So I literally just can't do this?!" Ginger complained.

"You can, and you will," Shadya commanded.

"Uh, not only would I fucking die once the water hit my circuits, I'd sink straight to the bottom," Ginger pointed out. "How is that fair?!"

"Please. Like you wouldn't be laughing at Godfrey right now if you didn't know the truth about you two," Chris scoffed.

"Why did you make Ginger so abrasive, anyway?" Wisdom asked Godfrey.

"To make her appear more human," Godfrey explained.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Godfrey and Wisdom immediately jumped into the water and began swimming. With their earlier practice, they were able to get ahead fairly quickly.

"Come on, Ginger!" Shadya insisted as she tugged on Ginger's arm.

"I'm not dying for the sake of your own ego," Ginger denied.

"Besides, were thou not planning to throw the final round to the Yellow pair, anyway?" Hildegard pointed out.

"I can't do that if we're not _in_ the final round," Shadya insisted.

"Shadya, please," Rhiannon pleaded. "Have faith in me and Hildegard. I think we could beat Godfrey and Wisdom in whatever they throw at us."

"And if you can't?" Shadya cocked an eyebrow.

"...Then you'll still have a relatively easy-to-beat opponent in the duel," Rhiannon said uneasily.

"The Blazing Blue Pair already have their flag!" Chris announced. "Can they bring it back before the Pyro Purple Pair catch up?"

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Ginger huffed.

* * *

Godfrey and Wisdom took a minute on the boat to catch their breath before they resumed swimming.

"So much for their plan, huh?" Wisdom giggled.

"Whatever the last round entails, we need to beat the Yellow pair," Godfrey said.

"Why do you feel the need to keep reminding me?" Wisdom asked flatly.

"Now, more than ever, I feel like my game is on the line," Godfrey explained. "I refuse to let the future I envision slip away."

"Shall we finish this round, then?" Wisdom suggested.

"Let's," Godfrey smirked.

The two jumped back into the water as Wisdom held onto the flag.

* * *

Eventually, the Blazing Blue Pair returned back to the Dock of Shame and wearily stuck their flag into the flagpole holder.

"And the Blazing Blue Pair take round two!" Chris announced. "They'll be duking it out with the Yieldless Yellow Pair in the final round of the challenge! Pyro Purple Pair, one of you will be dueling tonight."

Shadya spat into the water.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I loathe not having things in my control. The plan was simple: guarantee that the Yellow pair makes the final round, and then we beat the Blue pair in the second round. Then we can keep the Yellow pair safe by throwing the challenge to them. So, _of course_ , the second round is the one thing Ginger refuses to do! Now the possibility of the Blue pair beating the Yellow pair exists, and it's infuriating!

* * *

The pairs met up with Chris by the side of Mt Chrisuvius. Interns were dressing the Yieldless Yellow and Blazing Blue Pairs up in harnesses.

"The third and final round of the Tri-Armed Triathlon!" Chris prefaced. "The Yieldless Yellow and Blazing Blue Pairs must scale the side of Mt. Chrisuvius. At the very lip of the volcano are their colored flags. The pair that succeeds in getting their flag in the flagpole holder first will be safe and guarantee their places in the final six. The pair that doesn't succeed will be dueling the Pyro Purple Pair tonight. There's a lot on the line."

Shadya strangled the air.

"I thought you wanted to throw it anyway," Ginger muttered to her.

"I would have excelled in this challenge. Why did it have to be today?" Shadya growled.

"Competing pairs! Do you understand your objective?" Chris asked.

"What is humanity's objective?" Wisdom mused. "To ensure its continued existence? To make that existence worth existing for? Are we all just struggling to stay afloat in the bottomless sea that is existence?"

"Climb mountain. Get flag. Put flag in holder," Chris repeated, annoyed.

"I understand the quest thou hast offered, Sir Chris!" Hildegard declared proudly.

"I'll take that as a universal lack of questions," Chris grinned. "Go!"

The Yieldless Yellow and Blazing Blue Pairs immediately took hold of the side of Mt. Chrisuvius and began climbing.

"Thou art going down, Indigo Idiots!" Hildegard taunted.

"...No, we're going up," Godfrey smiled.

"She really doesn't understand the idea of the challenge, does she?" Wisdom added.

"And she was so insistent that she did. It's sad, really," Godfrey said wistfully.

"That was a taunt at thy expense! I was insinuating that thy defeat will be swift!" Hildegard insisted.

"How do you plan on defeating us when you don't even know which direction we're supposed to go?" Wisdom asked.

"Hilde, sweetie, they know what you mean. They're just trying to get on your nerves," Rhiannon told her.

"Fie, foh!" Hildegard shouted. She began inching towards the Blazing Blue Pair.

"Hildegard? What are you doing?" Rhiannon asked unsurely.

"I will not have thee act as though thou dost not know what I am trying to say!" Hildegard shouted. "All my life, 'tis such a torture! My peers, my teachers, my parents! I'll tolerate it no longer!"

Hildegard attempted to pry Godfrey's hand off of the side of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"Whoa!" Godfrey cried as he nearly lost his hold. "Hey, we were just trying to banter! If it's that upsetting to you, we'll stop."

"Thou thinkest thyself funny?!" Hildegard cried.

Godfrey took hold of Hildegard's wrist to prevent her continued offense.

"Hildegard, they weren't trying to upset you," Rhiannon pleaded. "Let's focus on defeating them in the challenge, and one of them will duel tonight."

Hildegard snorted indignantly before she wrenched her arm from Godfrey's grasp, and joined Rhiannon in continuing their ascent.

"All the taunting she's done to us throughout the game, and she can't handle a bit in return?" Wisdom sighed.

"Let's just win the challenge," Godfrey urged.

The two continued their own ascent, making it a point to veer away from the Yieldless Yellow Pair.

* * *

"Is this the last round?" Virgil asked as he walked up to Chris and the Pyro Purple Pair.

"Yep," Chris confirmed.

"Good, because I'm bored," Virgil griped.

"You should have thought of that before you decided to get picked as a partner by someone who would leave you in limbo. Hehaha," Chris chuckled.

"Ah, of course, how foolish of me," Virgil snarked as he began eating a box of chocolate-covered cookie dough.

"You get a free pass to the next shuffle. I don't want to hear you complain," Shadya told him.

"Is that what you guys think?" Chris asked smugly.

"Yes. We have no reason to think otherwise," Ginger said bluntly.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see," Chris shrugged.

* * *

The Blazing Blue Pair was the first to grab their flag and begin their descent, with the Yieldless Yellow Pair doing the same a few seconds later.

"The Blazing Blue Pair has the lead! Will the Yieldless Yellow Pair be able to catch up?!" Chris commentated.

"Rappel down!" Hildegard ordered as she used her handcuffed hand to hold onto the rope. Rhiannon caught on and did the same.

The Blazing Blue Pair, meanwhile, had been climbing down the same way they climbed up before they noticed what the Yieldless Yellow Pair were doing.

"We should probably be doing that, huh?" Wisdom pointed out.

"Then let's do that," Godfrey confirmed.

The two began rappelling down the mountainside.

"Who will be the first to make it?!" Chris asked rhetorically.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Hildegard proudly planted the yellow flag into the flagpole holder.

"The Yieldless Yellow Pair win the challenge!" Chris announced.

"So close," Godfrey grunted as he and Wisdom made it to the ground.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** None shall conquer the almighty strength of Lady Hildegard and her associates! To even try as much is worthy of a laugh! Ha!

* * *

The Yieldless Yellow Pair stood by Chris as the other contestants stood across from them.

"Congratulations on your victory, ladies!" Chris complimented. "Normally, this would be the part where you pick a pair to be immediately at-risk, but since your options are kind of limited, that won't really be necessary. Hehaha."

"It really was more to guarantee safety than for power," Rhiannon acknowledged.

"Of course, you still get to pick a pair to join you in the Tent of Banquets!" Chris reminded.

"I feel it should go without saying that we choose the Purple pair," Hildegard said.

"Yeah! They let us eat with them yesterday, so it's only fair," Rhiannon agreed.

"Alright, you four get to enjoy a feast tonight," Chris nodded. "There won't be a vote for which pair will be at risk tonight, but we will still meet up at the usual time to determine the duelists and, of course, to have the duel. Blazing Blue Pair, Pyro Purple Pair, I hope you guys are ready. Then again, it would probably be funnier if you weren't. Hehaha."

"At this point in the game, I don't think we can afford to sacrifice practicality for humor," Godfrey figured.

"Were you doing so before?" Wisdom asked, confused.

"No I wasn't; good point," Godfrey conceded.

"Well, with that said, I have nothing else for you at the moment," Chris said. "Ladies, your banquet awaits."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** It really seems like tonight's decision is more about who the at-risk pairs should pick as their opponent to duel more than anything else. I think the best-case scenario for me is if Mystery Pop went up against Gingersnap. I think he could feasibly beat her. Strawberry is too weak, and Top Banana is too strong, but this robot versus creator matchup just might be able to work out.

* * *

Ginger, Hildegard, Rhiannon, and Shadya all sat at the table in the Tent of Banquets.

"Well, the challenge did not go exactly as I'd planned, but the end result was the same," Shadya stated. "Hildegard and Rhiannon, you two are safe this round, and presumably have made it to the next shuffle, if there is one."

"I can't imagine there wouldn't be one," Ginger said. "Even if Virgil joined a pair after tonight, that would still leave only two pairs once the final five rolls around. And then what? Just dueling? What would the final three be?"

"I assume thou art planning to select young Wisdom as thine opponents," Hildegard brought up. "Though Godfrey is no large threat, he is more so than Wisdom, I would think."

"I would prefer to be rid of Godfrey before Wisdom, simply because he is the bigger threat," Shadya explained. "Of course, I'm fully aware that it's more likely that the Blazing Blue Pair will select Ginger to duel instead of me, in which case, our chances of victory are much smaller."

"I can definitely beat Wisdom in a duel," Ginger grinned.

"Well, don't forget that stranger wins have happened," Rhiannon mentioned. "Bunko beat Steve Jenkins in a duel. Fred nearly beat Gretchen."

"And I've beaten both Jeremy and Gretchen. What's your point?" Ginger pointed out.

"No matchup will result in a guaranteed win or loss since anything can happen," Shadya stated. "But that does not mean that the odds of winning or losing are to be ignored. While I would rather be rid of Godfrey, it's a bigger risk to attempt to do so."

"What do you think, Ginger? You're the one who's probably going to duel, right?" Rhiannon asked.

"I may be cool with Godfrey again, but I'd still love to beat him," Ginger grinned. "That'll show him that I really am my own person!"

"Godspeed, Lady Ginger!" Hildegard encouraged.

"Hmm..." Shadya thought to herself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** After getting mine applications turned down many a time, 'tis most satisfying to have made it to the end of the game where I was finally accepted! What now but to emerge victoriously?! Hey-ho, hey-ho!

 **Rhiannon:** I've never really trusted Godfrey or Wisdom, so I hope that, whatever happens, the Pyro Purple Pair wins the duel. I mean, I trust both of them, so that should also contribute, but with the thoughts of a shuffle looming, I'd rather be rid of any potential negatives for my game going forward.

* * *

Godfrey and Wisdom sat in the shelter.

"So you're sure you're fine with picking Ginger to duel?" Wisdom made sure.

"I've vowed that I'm not going to protect her anymore," Godfrey reiterated. "She can protect herself. She's smart, she's tough... not to brag, of course."

"Who wouldn't want to brag if they made such a convincing and capable robot?" Wisdom figured.

"I mean... you're not wrong, but..." Godfrey chuckled. "I'm trying to eliminate the idea in my mind that Ginger is anything but a person, just like you or me. She can make her own decisions and take care of herself."

"So you don't plan on upgrading her in the future?" Wisdom wondered.

"Not without her consent," Godfrey answered. "If I figure out something cool, or there's something she wants, we can work together to make it happen. Since I needed her to think she was the roboticist, she knows everything I know about creating and maintaining robots. I think we'll be able to get a lot done together, even if neither of us wins."

Wisdom nodded thoughtfully.

"Is something on your mind?" Godfrey asked.

"It sounds almost romantic, don't you think?" Wisdom asked. "Working together on a shared passion like that?"

"R-Romantic?" Godfrey stammered. "I've always thought of Ginger more as a daughter than anything. Besides, she considers herself asexual and doesn't wish for that to change, remember? Where did romance come from?"

"...Do you think it's possible to form meaningful relationships in this game?" Wisdom asked.

"I'm probably the wrong person to ask," Godfrey gulped. "The closest I ever came ended up hating me and tried to get me eliminated once she thought I was a robot. I guess that's a pretty specific way for things to go wrong, though."

"Every day, one of us has to be eliminated, right?" Wisdom mused. "What if a good friend of yours ends up eliminated? Do you think they might end up forgetting about you? What if they make new friends with the others who were voted out?"

"If you were good friends, I can't imagine that person would forget about you," Godfrey rationalized. "In fact, I like to think that they'd keep cheering for you to win."

"You think so?" Wisdom smiled. "...Well then, I guess I'll just have to win it for him."

"Not if I win first," Godfrey played. "One of us is going to have to duel tonight. It sounds like we both have something to fight for. Whoever ends up getting chosen will have to keep in mind why we're here."

Wisdom nodded eagerly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** I really took Dean for granted in this game, huh? He was the only person I could really trust, one-hundred percent, and I've always had a bit of trouble connecting with the others, haven't I? It's not that I haven't been trying, I've just never been a super social person, you know?

 **Godfrey:** I suppose I do remember Wisdom being close with that one guy... Dean, I think? Well, if there is something there between them, I hope it works out for them better than it did for me and my best friend before the second shuffle. Then again, back alley surgery would probably work better than whatever happened with me and Roxie.

* * *

Ginger and Shadya met up at the top of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"Back in the tent, you mentioned being on good terms with Godfrey once again," Shadya brought up.

"Yeah, I finally got around to talking to him," Ginger confirmed. "I'm still working with you and the Yellow pair, don't get me wrong."

"So you'd be perfectly okay with setting Godfrey up to duel tonight?" Shadya made sure.

"Yep. As I said, I just want to win, and once Godfrey's gone, our only competition will be, what, Virgil and Wisdom? That barely counts as competition," Ginger snickered.

"They both truly have gotten by solely on the virtue of there being bigger fish to fry, haven't they?" Shadya scoffed amusedly. "Not that it makes any difference to me. I will handily defeat everyone by the end."

"The fact that you keep mentioning that just makes you sound more insecure than confident," Ginger remarked.

This took Shadya aback. "I've told you about why I strive to such heights. I cannot fail, especially here, where my endeavors are being televised."

"Fair enough. But hey, I was able to get over my daddy issues. I'm sure you can, too," Ginger snickered.

"There is far too much to unpack in that single statement, and I will not dignify it by addressing any of it," Shadya grunted.

"Aw, you're no fun," Ginger nudged.

"Establishing my superiority to everyone I meet _is_ fun," Shadya said dully.

"And I'm still recovering from the adrenaline rush," Ginger snickered.

"Again, why did Godfrey make you like this?" Shadya sighed.

"What, with a personality? I guess he didn't get the memo that even real humans can be stiff and unentertaining," Ginger teased.

"Then he should have looked in a mirror," Shadya sniffed.

Ginger laughed. "Fair enough."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I'm glad that Ginger has finally overcome her issues with Godfrey, but if anything, now she's become too laidback. There is still a game for me to win, and I'd rather she focuses on helping me get there and not on cracking jokes.

 **Ginger:** I just can't remember the last time I've felt this glad to be alive, you know? I probably haven't ever been this glad. Am I technically alive? Oh, of course I am. I wouldn't be feeling this hard if I wasn't. Anyway, Shadya really needs to get past her insecurity if she wants people to take her seriously.

* * *

Godfrey and Virgil sat at the Dock of Shame while the latter fished.

"Virgil, am I stupid for even considering for a second that I might want to vote for Shadya to duel?" Godfrey asked.

"I don't know," Virgil chuckled. "I get wanting to keep Gingersnap around now that y'all two are friends again, but this is still a game."

"I know, and I definitely still want to put Ginger up to duel, simply because it's the safer choice," Godfrey acknowledged. "But still, thinking for even a second that putting Shadya up to duel..."

"Isn't that exactly what you did when Elmer went home?" Virgil asked.

"That was the entire plan," Godfrey winked.

"Damn ass," Virgil laughed. "Here you are acting like you're all hesitant about being cutthroat, and then you tell me that you purposely put your partner in a position where he could go home."

"You did what?!" Wisdom gasped from behind the two.

"Get this: Apparently Mystery Pop here had quite the hand in Elmer going home," Virgil explained.

"Oh... so you aren't planning on getting rid of me?" Wisdom asked.

"No way." Godfrey shook his head. "The three of us all need each other if any of us wants to win."

"I hear that," Virgil smirked. "I'll do whatever it takes to bring us to the final three."

"Do you guys think you can count on me?" Wisdom asked. "Do you think we can beat those other four?"

"Stranger things have happened," Virgil pointed out. "Of course, it'll be a lot easier if Gingersnap is dueling tonight."

"I thought we already agreed on that, didn't we?" Wisdom said to Godfrey.

"We did. That hasn't changed," Godfrey assured her.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Honestly, the scariest part of all this is that I've got no idea what the next shuffle is going to entail. If whichever of the Blue pair ends up losing the duel, would me and whoever's left be able to stand up to Purple and Yellow? I really need to stop worrying about this kind of thing when there's nothing I can do about it right now.

 **Godfrey:** Honestly? I have a really good feeling about this. Obviously, my goal entails Ginger going home tonight, but you know what? I feel like, whatever happens, she and I will be good in the end. And I won't even have to mess with her memories to ensure that it happens, this time. _(He chuckles awkwardly.)_

 **Wisdom:** What will happen tonight? Which of the Blazing Blue Pair will be chosen? Will they defeat Ginger and level the playing field? Or will they doom their allies to a swift defeat? Oh, why must we wait so long to find out?

* * *

Ginger sat cross-legged on the beach. Hildegard and Rhiannon sat on either side of her, each with a hand on her shoulder.

"And Lord, prithee Thou watcheth over dear Ginger in her duel tonight," Hildegard prayed. "Be it in Thy will, grant her a victory. Allow her a joyous and protected life, as Thou would any of Thy own children. Amen."

"Amen," Rhiannon echoed.

"You didn't have to do that," Ginger said. "Not that I don't appreciate it, because I do, but we don't even know for sure that they're going to pick me to duel."

"Better safe than sorry!" Hildegard insisted.

"I think it's a lovely gesture," Rhiannon smiled. "Just yesterday, neither of you were even sure where Ginger fit into Hildegard's faith. Praying over her..." Rhiannon wiped a happy tear from her eye.

"I suppose there is a sort of positive irony in it," Ginger figured. "I'll be honest: I wasn't entirely sure about either of you when Shadya insisted that you were her best allies on the Tough Tundras, but I'm not sure I could ask for better friends right now."

"Ginger..." Rhiannon fanned her face with her hands as she let the tears out.

"Now look what thou hast done! Making good Lady Rhiannon cry!" Hildegard scolded playfully.

"What would you two say to a final three?" Ginger offered. "As soon as we shuffle, we can probably convince Virgil and whichever of the Blue pair makes it to flip on her. After that, it'd be our three to their two."

"Thou wisheth to slay the fabled Lady Shadya, dost thou?" Hildegard asked. "T'would be an undertaking. Believe me."

"I think we could do it," Rhiannon smiled. "It sounds like a pretty smart idea, actually. I'm impressed."

"It's a combination of logical thinking and emotional. Man, am I advanced, or what?" Ginger boasted.

"Do keep in mind what they say about pride before a fall," Hildegard reminded her.

"Please. How long has Shadya exuded pride?" Ginger dismissed.

"I can't argue with that," Rhiannon giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** A final three deal, huh? Honestly, if Ginger hadn't beaten me to the punch, I might have offered the same thing after the emotions died down a little. I like and trust Shadya and all, but she is a pretty huge threat to win. Winning this game could make a huge difference in my life, so I'm not going to just let anyone take first place without a fight.

 **Ginger:** That was surprisingly easy given how loyal those two - okay, how loyal _Rhiannon_ has been to Shadya. I knew neither of them would be dumb enough to pass up on a chance to make it to the end of the game with their friends. And... yeah, I do consider both of them friends. Ironically, I'm enjoying the simple pleasures of humanity even more now that I know I'm not technically a human.

 **Hildegard:** Verily, this may be just the opportunity I was looking for! A chance to seize the circumstances and lead my holy party to victory! I didn't want to say it before, but Lady Shadya is only a part of my regular, less-holy party.

* * *

Night had fallen, and several tiki torches were arranged in a large circle and lit not far from the shelter. Within the circle of torches were six camp chairs - two of the three pair colors - also arranged in a semi-circle, with the respective contestants seated in them. Chris stood across from them.

"And now, contestants, it is time for the losing pairs to select which of their opponents will be partaking in tonight's duel!" Chris announced. "Since the Pyro Purple Pair was the first to cement their loss in today's pair challenge, they can go first. Head on over to the voting lectern and write down the name of the contestant from the Blazing Blue Pair you wish to duel."

Ginger and Shadya stood up from their seats and made their way over to the lectern.

* * *

Both pairs had selected their duelists and stood on opposite sides of Chris. Shadya and Wisdom each held their folded-up vote.

"Alright, pairs... reveal!" Chris instructed.

Both girls revealed their votes to everyone else. The Pyro Purple Pair's vote was for Godfrey, while the Blazing Blue Pair's vote was for Ginger.

"Looks like whatever happens, this'll be the last we see of each other for a bit," Godfrey pointed out.

"Don't be going soft on me, now. If I'm going to beat you, I want to feel like it was an actual challenge," Ginger teased.

"Why? To distract from how upset you'll be that I'm leaving?" Godfrey teased back.

"I'll be inconsolable," Ginger remarked. "Not as much as you, though. Losing _and_ having to be separated from the coolest girl you'll ever talk to? That's going to hurt."

"Yes, yes, you're very adorable," Chris interrupted. "If I may explain the duel, now."

A few interns carried strange-looking, color-coded stands with taut twine placed above them by two small, thin poles and placed them in front of the contestants. More interns arrived to snuff the tiki torches and pour a bucket of water over the campfire.

"For what reason?!" Hildegard snapped.

"Tonight's duel will see our duelists building a fire that will reach tall enough to burn the twine hanging above their stand," Chris explained.

"And we're supposed to do that _without_ the fire we had?" Ginger doubted.

"Or any sort of kindling?" Godfrey added.

"You'll just have to figure something out," Chris shrugged. "You've made it to the final seven. If you can't make a fire, I don't know what to tell you. Any questions?"

"Are Pop-Tarts just dessert lasagna?" Wisdom asked.

"God damn it, Wisdom," Chris sighed. "Duelists. Questions?"

"I already asked a question and you refused to answer it," Ginger said.

"What she said," Godfrey agreed.

"Alright, then. Go!" Chris called.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I haven't had a ton of experience with making a fire. Roxie had that pretty much covered for me before the merge, and Shadya insisted on starting the campfire once we did merge. I've got a basic idea, though. Hopefully, I can pull something out.

 **Ginger:** Fire requires three things to survive: fuel, heat, and oxygen. Oxygen is pretty well covered since, you know, we're on Earth, but I'll need to find fuel and heat elsewhere. I've never really been in charge of setting campfires before, but I don't think Godfrey has, either, so we should be on about even footing, here.

* * *

Ginger immediately ran for one of the snuffed tiki torches and pried it from the ground. She carried it back over to her stand and began snapping it into pieces over her knee. She put the pieces onto her stand.

"Ginger with an interesting strategy right out of the gate," Chris commented.

Godfrey ran to the shelter and took the machete. He began chopping away at some of the trunks that made up the shelter's bed.

"Hey! We sleep there!" Shadya objected.

"Shadya. Quiet," Chris reminded her.

Shadya began cracking her knuckles one by one.

Godfrey carried the pieces of wood he'd extracted to his own base.

Ginger had stacked the pieces of the torch she'd taken into a neat pile.

"Now how am I supposed to light this...?" Ginger asked herself. "Ugh, what does Shadya usually do? Rub sticks together? Did we have flint? ...No, wait! What was it Nestor said back on day one?"

"I guess, for once, I'm glad Mystery Pop never installed laser eyes on her," Virgil remarked as he approached the onlookers and sat in Godfrey's chair.

"'For once'? Do you usually think about if Ginger had laser eyes?" Rhiannon asked.

"I often find that life's problems would be so much simpler if you could just shoot fire beams out of your face," Virgil claimed. "In lieu of that, though, there's always cinnamon bears." Virgil began eating a bag of cinnamon bears.

Godfrey looked at his surroundings and opted to grab another of the snuffed tiki torches.

"It looks like Godfrey is copying Ginger's strategy," Chris commented.

"Hardly," Godfrey muttered as he ran towards Mt. Chrisuvius.

"What is doing?" Ginger asked himself. "What could possibly be at Mt Chri... Shit!"

Ginger grabbed another torch and followed Godfrey.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** All this time, I'd wondered what the big volcano was for. Is it just a setpiece, or is it going to come in handy for a challenge? It might just be a setpiece, but if my hunch is correct, it could prove very valuable shortly.

* * *

Both duelists made it to the path leading up Mt. Chrisuvius.

"You're going down!" Ginger grinned.

"Not if you go down first!" Godfrey grinned back. "Don't overheat yourself!"

"Don't dehydrate yourself!" Ginger taunted back.

The two shared a laugh before focusing back on outspeeding the other.

* * *

"Is the volcano really the only easy source of heat on the island?" Wisdom wondered.

"Perhaps e'er since our good campfire was taken from us," Hildegard griped.

"You can help me make a new campfire," Shadya told her.

"I still question why thou did feel the need to take our precious fire from us," Hildegard told Chris.

"Mostly to get a reaction out of you guys, but also to keep the duel from being too easy," Chris explained.

* * *

Both duelists made it to the top of the path up to Mt. Chrisuvius. Noticing that the mouth of the volcano itself was about ten feet above where they stood, Godfrey held onto the very end of his torch's handle and reached up as high as he could in order for the torch to hang over the mouth of the volcano.

"Damn it, why did you have to make me so short?!" Ginger accused. "You knew this would happen!"

"Yep. I knew in the back of my mind that you and I would be in this exact situation years before I'd even heard of Total Drama," Godfrey played along.

"You bitch," Ginger sneered as she nudged Godfrey.

Godfrey was not expecting to be nudged, and his reflexes kicked in, causing him to drop his torch into the volcano.

"...I see," Godfrey said neutrally.

Godfrey made his way back down the mountain path.

"What you're not going to help me light my torch?" Ginger asked facetiously.

She did what she could to climb up the ten feet she needed to climb. She was barely able to get her torch over the mouth of the volcano.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ginger:** Note to self: Godfrey might be ticklish or otherwise sensitive to certain or sudden tactile stimuli. I know it won't be relevant to the game after this duel, but I believe we'll be living together after this is all over, so I might be able to use that to my advantage in some way.

* * *

Godfrey made it back to his base, took two of the pieces of wood he'd salvaged, and began rubbing them together quickly.

"Godfrey is quick at work generating heat. Will he get a flame going before Ginger?" Chris commentated.

"Not likely!" Ginger announced as she ran up to the scene with her torch lit.

"Come on, come on..." Godfrey groaned as he rubbed his wood faster.

Ginger pointed her flame at the pile of the broken torch she had amassed. The bamboo-and-wicker pile ignited quickly.

"Ginger has achieved flame!" Chris announced. "And Godfrey still has nothing."

"...Not nothing!" Godfrey realized.

He ran back to the shelter and grabbed one of the pillows.

Shadya was about to object but remembered that doing so audibly was against the rules, and simply clenched her fists.

"It's not a huge loss in the long run," Rhiannon assured her.

Godfrey took the pillow and exposed it to Ginger's flame, causing it to ignite.

"Hey! He can't do that!" Ginger objected.

"I never said he couldn't. Hehaha," Chris shrugged.

"Come on, Ginger. A programmer like you should know all about loopholes," Godfrey smiled as he placed the pillow on his stand and put the pieces of wood on top of it.

"You want loopholes?! I'll give you loopholes!" Ginger insisted.

She ran for the shelter and took one of the blankets.

"Was it also your intention for them to use the comfort items as fuel?" Wisdom asked Chris.

"I'll be honest, I had no idea how they were supposed to do it, but I figured it was going to be possible somehow," Chris admitted. "Points for creativity."

"What of negative points for sabotaging our camp?" Hildegard grunted.

"Eh, it'll be just like how we used to sleep at the start of the game," Virgil figured.

Ginger bunched up the blanket and placed it in her flame.

Both duelists' flames grew in size and approached the twine.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Ginger's twine broke a split second after Godfrey's twine broke.

"It was neck-and-neck, but Godfrey wins the duel!" Chris announced.

Godfrey let out an immense sigh of relief and took a second to catch his breath.

"Of all the dirty ways to win..." Ginger griped.

"Hey, you had a few tricks yourself," Godfrey told her. "I just did what I had to win, same as you."

"...Yeah, that's fair," Ginger grinned disappointedly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I'll be damned. Mystery Pop actually beat his precious creation. That shit got close. I wasn't sure if he was going to pull it off, I'll admit. I guess he didn't want to leave his dear friends in the minority. What a paragon. _(He chuckles at his own joke.)_

* * *

Ginger stood by the Dock of Shame, and the other contestants stood with her.

"Well, this whole game has been a hell of a ride," Ginger laughed. She looked at Godfrey. "You'd better win this. We can't make advancements in robot technology if we don't have the funding for it!"

"Believe me, I'm well aware," Godfrey assured her. "I'll do what I can."

"You've been a valuable ally," Shadya told Ginger. "It is unfortunate to see you go."

"Aw, Shadya, you've never said anything that nice to me before," Ginger said in faux-flattery.

"God be with thee!" Hildegard told Ginger.

"Later, Gingersnap," Virgil nodded.

"I'll probably see you all shortly," Ginger mentioned.

"Until then, Ginger, it's time for you to go," Chris told her.

"Yeah, I guess I'd better give this up," Ginger figured as she removed her purple bandana and tossed it to Virgil.

"Am I officially a part of the Purple pair?" Virgil asked Chris.

Chris shrugged unhelpfully.

"Told you we were shuffling after this round," Ginger said. "Damn it, I was so close, too." She began making her way down the Dock of Shame.

"We'll miss you!" Rhiannon called.

"You know what? I'll miss you losers, too!" Ginger called back as she set foot in the Boat of Losers. The seacraft drove off.

"So now what?" Wisdom mentioned. "Is tomorrow the next shuffle?"

"Wake up early tomorrow and you'll find out," Chris winked.

"So that's a yes. Okay," Shadya acknowledged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** Is it weird that I'm not even looking forward to the shuffle tomorrow as much as I am looking forward to going home with Ginger and living life together as equals? Not as my creation, or my daughter, but as my friend. I don't know, after all we've been through out here, I feel like my bond with her has become something special. Something unbreakable.

 **Hildegard:** I cannot but wonder what the status of the deal Lady Ginger made with Lady Jessica and myself is. Perhaps I shall discuss this with Lady Jessica tomorrow. She is a bright woman who will know what to do!

* * *

Chris stood at the peak of Mt. Chrisuvius.

"In the epic battle of man versus machine, man has emerged victorious!" Chris announced. "Who will take power in the next round? Who will be in danger? Who will be able to save themselves from danger? These are all questions that will definitely be answered in the next round... on Makani Island! But that's all in the future... of Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

None

* * *

 **Makani Island:**

Godfrey - The Mysterious Roboticist

Hildegard - The Paladin

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Ginger - The Snarky Robot_

 _Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger_

 _Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist_

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: I think the Ginger and Godfrey plot is probably about as ambitious as I'll ever get with an overarching arc like this. People who've paid close attention to my deviantART for years will also remember both of them being part of the same scrapped season Roxie was from. Believe it or not, at the time, these two characters were not connected, and I think I was just going to have Godfrey stay an amnesiac with no explanation and have Ginger just be a roboticist who was obsessed with the cash prize. As I was filling out this cast, though, the idea of having "Mark" turn out to be Ginger's robot clicked, and then I thought of having the double reveal, and I knew I had to include them._

 _Ginger herself felt like kind of a slow burn of a character to me. At the start of the story, she wasn't super important to the plot and mostly served to be an ally of Shadya's and to serve a bit of snarky commentary here and there. Once she was able to meet up with Godfrey after the first shuffle, though, I really enjoyed writing her - the robot plot just might have been_ the _Total Drama Shuffle Party plot, and it added a lot of depth to those involved which built up over time. Of course, I felt as though having the robot outlast their creator would be the obvious move, and I'd hate to be so predictable, so Ginger takes the fall here. What did you guys think of Ginger?_


	21. That Is Not How CPR Works!

_A/N: And now, for something completely different._

* * *

The Boat of Losers docked at an island which consisted mostly of a lush, flowery meadow with rabbits, birds, and several deciduous trees - some bearing fruit. There was also an incredibly tall mountain opposite the dock.

Jim sat in the Boat of Losers, still beside himself at his loss, with his eyes glued to his shoes. It took him a few seconds to realize that the Boat had taken anchor, and he looked up to see where it had taken him. Not much could be seen in the dead of night; a few torches lit the dock, but little else.

"What's this?" Jim sniffled.

He stood up and trudged out of the Boat of Losers. A sign greeted him at the other side of the dock.

"'Welcome to Makani Island'," Jim read. "'Unfortunately, your chance to win Total Drama Shuffle Party is gone, but that doesn't mean that you can take it easy. You must now survive in this new environment. It's just like it was back in the game: build a shelter, gather food, make fire. You will remain here until the game's conclusion'."

Jim let out a heavy sigh. He wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I can't afford to feel sorry for myself," Jim decided. "I'm a father now. Fatherhood is all about sacrifice. I need to get to work."

Jim took one of the torches from the dock and looked around his new environment.

* * *

The following night, Jim sat by the fire he had constructed and ate the bird he had caught earlier in the day.

"I wonder who's going to get voted off tonight," Jim thought aloud. "Oh god, it's probably going to be Louise or Virgil. The second those other three get an inch, they're going to take a mile and just decimate all my allies! Oh, why did I have to listen to Dean and Wisdom?!"

"Heehee. You're silly," Tegan giggled.

"Gah! How long have you been there?!" Jim gasped.

"Three-point-seven-six-zero-five seconds," Tegan answered.

"You're from the Knights of Goodness, right?" Jim recalled.

"Yup yup! I is Tegan," Tegan introduced.

"Jim," Jim introduced back.

"No, _Tegan_! Pay attention, you goof!" Tegan scolded.

"...So, uh, did you read the sign at the dock when you got here?" Jim asked.

"There was a sign?" Tegan asked. "No, I saw you talking to yourself and I wanted to see if the voices in your head and the voices in my head could be friendsies!"

"Well, I'm afraid I don't have much of a shelter," Jim told her as he gestured to the very small shelter he'd managed to build. "There isn't much I could get done on my own. But hey, I'll share my dinner with you, and then we can go build some more shelter so you can have somewhere to sleep, too."

"You don't want cuddles?" Tegan frowned.

"I'm in a committed relationship. No offense, but Sapphire's the only girl I want to cuddle with," Jim explained.

"Dawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Tegan squealed. "Tell me all about her!"

Jim handed Tegan the bird he'd been eating. "Well, she and I met in middle school actually. We were sitting next to each other in English class..."

* * *

"I can't believe this..." Rowan grumbled after reading the sign at the dock. "I played a masterfully subtle game, and I get voted out for something completely beyond my control. What a disrespect to good gameplay."

"Hey! Jim Jam! There's another person-head!" Tegan called as she took notice of Rowan.

"Huh?" Jim asked as he looked up from the additions to the shelter he'd been building. "Oh, hey!"

"I am in no mood for introductions or condolences," Rowan told the two.

"That's fine. Losing hurts, I get that," Jim nodded. "Come on, Tegan. Help me hold up the beam and I'll tie it."

"Okelie dokelie!" Tegan agreed as she skipped up to him.

Rowan sighed as she sat by the fire.

"What's left of that rabbit is for you to eat," Jim told her. "We always try to leave a little bit of food for whoever gets voted out."

"I appreciate it," Rowan said with a small smile. She took the meat-on-a-stick that had been placed near the fire and began to eat it. "Hm. I have never tried rabbit before. It is surprisingly good."

"You didn't eat a bunny rabbit in the game?" Tegan questioned.

"My team lived on a mountain," Rowan explained. "Our meat consisted mostly of the fish that we caught at the beach near the base of the mountain."

"Ooh! We needs to start catching teh fishies, Jimmy Neutron!" Tegan bounced.

"We might be able to fashion some sort of fishing spear," Jim figured as he tied the shelter's beam. "I don't suppose either of you has some sort of elastic hairband or something?"

"I have one in my bag," Rowan said. "Unfortunately, I did not think to bring my things with me to the elimination ceremony."

"They should bring your stuff here before tomorrow afternoon," Jim told her.

"Then I will be happy to do my part in making life here easier, however I can," Rowan smiled.

* * *

Kirkland's face wrinkled as soon as he saw Tegan waiting with Jim and Rowan for whoever would be the next to arrive.

"Of course. Of fucking course," Kirkland grumbled.

He exited the Boat of Losers and made his way to the island proper, looking at the other three losers. What brief eye contact he shared with Tegan consisted of her sticking her tongue out at him.

"Are you the Kirkland I've heard so much about?" Rowan asked.

"Anything that failed abortion told you is grossly exaggerated and biased!" Kirkland insisted.

"Well, I'd be happy to hear your side of the story," Rowan told him as she guided him to the campfire. "There isn't much to do on this island since there isn't a game to be played.

Kirkland sat down, took the food that had been left for him, and ate it ravenously.

Jim took the fishing spear Rowan had fashioned and gestured for Tegan to follow him to the beach.

"So why did you want to vote out Tegan?" Rowan asked as she sat next to him.

"Have you met her?" Kirkland scoffed. "I'm surprised you haven't killed her after spending just one day with her."

"I would never stoop to something so barbaric as violence," Rowan said.

"I was exaggerating for effect, you dolt," Kirkland snorted. "Anyway, not only is that child the most insufferable human being - if you can call her that - I've ever met, she made it her personal mission to pick on _me_ specifically! She kept saying it's because I'm funny, which is no reason for anyone to touch anyone in their sleep when I've made it _perfectly_ clear that I'm not comfortable with that!"

"Oh my," Rowan reacted.

"Anyway, I already had Liberty and Rhiannon in my corner, since they were obviously the sanest people on my team," Kirkland continued. "Pulling in Kun wasn't difficult since she-who-shall-not-be-named was joined at the hip with Hildegard, whom Kun was trying to get rid of. Tonight _should_ have been an easy Hildegard vote, but my allies all turned on me! They must have seen me as a huge threat or something."

"Yes, that must have been it," Rowan said monotonously.

"Oh, don't you get righteous with me, too!" Kirkland growled.

"Believe me, I know exactly what it's like to be shamed for simply playing the game," Rowan scoffed. "And with me, it was by Shadya of all people."

"Do tell," Kirkland sneered. "I'm always good for complaining about how annoying everyone else is."

* * *

Hiram sat by himself away from the others the morning after his elimination.

"Howdy-ho Hiram-bo!" Tegan greeted. "Whatcha up to, huh?"

"...I'm an embarrassment," Hiram whimpered.

"Aw, it's okay. We were all upset when we lost, too," Tegan consoled.

"Did you do... _this_...?" Hiram asked as he showed Tegan the gash he'd made on his upper arm.

"Whoazers!" Tegan gasped. "What have we here?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Hiram sighed.

"Well, if you want to help us keep setting up camp, we'd really appreciate it," Tegan told him. "Someone's going to show up every day probablys. We needs to keep them accomomomodated!"

"I guess," Hiram conceded as he stood up. "What do you need me to do?"

"Um um um um um um um um- Why don't you get us something to eat?" Tegan suggested. "There's all kinds of birds and bunnies and fishes we can eat."

"I-I don't want to kill anything..." Hiram paled. "I don't want to see any more blood. Not after what I did to myself..."

"You did that to yourself?!" Tegan gasped.

"I was in a... scary place," Hiram confessed. "Somewhere I don't want to be again. I panicked, big time. I'm away from my mommy, so I relied on Bunko for safety, and then I found out she was in danger, so I... I..." Hiram began to cry.

"Awww, does you needs a hug?" Tegan frowned.

Hiram hugged Tegan.

"There, there," Tegan cooed as she reciprocated the hug. "Your bestie Tegan is here for you."

"Everyone's going to hate me," Hiram wept. "What if my mommy hates me? She's, she's going to see what I did!"

"Hey now, your own mommy won't hate you," Tegan assured him. "You're her own son, and nothing's going to change that. Besides, I don't hate you."

"Wh-Why not?" Hiram sniffled.

"Why would I?" Tegan figured. "Unlike _some people_ , you haven't been a meanie panini to me all week."

"Who would be mean to you? You seem like a really sweet person," Hiram wondered as he broke the hug.

"You may have met a certain Kirkland out on this island. Red hair, stupid hat, thinks he's better than everyone," Tegan listed.

"I didn't hear him talk very much," Hiram admitted. "But anyone who's mean to you is no friend of mine."

"If only the rest of my team thought that way!" Tegan pouted. "I just hope my good buddy Hilde pulls through!"

"Not if Bunko can beat her. Which I bet she will," Hiram smiled.

"We'll see!" Tegan winked.

* * *

Louise helped Jim cut down a tree.

"The worst part is, there was a part of me that thought Gretchen was serious about voting for Wisdom," Louise said. "Like, I voted against Gretchen, and there was still a part of me that trusted her, even though I didn't really like her all that much."

"Honestly, I think I would rather see Wisdom voted out than Gretchen at this point," Jim admitted. "Gretchen seemed pretty rude, but she seemed straightforward, too. Wisdom tricked me, and it cost me the game."

"Wisdom's not a bad kid. I got along well enough with her, but she was working with Gretchen, and Gretchen wanted me gone because my boyfriend and I signed up for the same season," Louise huffed.

"I still cannot believe neither of you knew the other was going to show up," Jim laughed.

"Honestly, knowing Elmer, he might have figured it out and just played along," Louise laughed. "I had no idea, though. I wanted to surprise him, and I bet he wanted to surprise me. Probably not a good idea on either of our parts, but, in the end, it was a pretty big surprise."

"I don't even want to think about how I'd react if I saw Sapphire out here," Jim said awkwardly. "N-Not that I don't think she's capable, but, you know, she's pregnant and all? I don't think that's so unreasonable, that I don't want her out here doing dangerous challenges and-"

"Bro, you're good," Louise assured him.

Jim took a deep breath.

"But anyway, I just think I'm too trusting of people," Louise brought up her earlier point. "Like, I know people are going to be all 'It's good to not assume the worst, Louise' or 'A healthy amount of skepticism is good for you, Louise', but neither of those is helpful! I know that already. That didn't stop me from wondering if I was doing Gretchen dirty."

"I'm not sure I'm qualified to help you out with that. Sorry," Jim apologized.

"It's probably something I'll need to deal with on my own, huh?" Louise figured. "And hey, it's cool having a friend I can talk about these things with."

"Anything to take my mind off of the future," Jim said. "...Shoot, now my mind's on the future."

"Aw, you'll be a great dad. I guarantee it," Louise assured him.

"Well, I'm glad someone thinks so. Sapphire's parents certainly don't, and, frankly, neither do I," Jim admitted.

"Hey! Are you two done gossipping?!" Kirkland called out as he approached the two. "We need more firewood!"

"We're getting around to it! You can wait to have lunch for five minutes!" Jim shouted back.

Kirkland grumbled but left them be.

"...I've never gotten him to shut up before," Jim mentioned in awe.

"See? What'd I tell you?" Louise assured him. "You'll figure it out."

Jim smiled. "Thanks, Louise. You're a good friend."

Louise giggled. "I try."

* * *

Kun, still cold, wet, and shivering, stepped off of the Boat of Losers.

"My, my. It seems our visitor is early tonight," Rowan noticed as the other six losers sat around the campfire.

"Th-Th-Th-The new island, um..." Kun mustered

"Poor thing is shivering," Louise frowned. She stood up and guided Kun to the rock she'd been sitting on. "Here, you warm up."

"Thanks..." Kun acquiesced as he sat on the rock.

"Well, look what happens when you decide to _vote out someone who is willing to work with you_ ," Kirkland accused.

"Ignore him," Louise said to Kun.

"You said something about a new island?" Hiram mentioned.

"Oh, um, yes," Kun confirmed as he held his hands in front of the fire. "Since this is, um, Total Drama Shuffle Party, as Chris mentioned, things are set to change every few rounds. Today held one of those changes."

"Ooh! What did you guys do?!" Tegan asked excitedly.

"Well, um, as mentioned, we were taken to a new island," Kun began. "Which, um, entailed being split into new teams. Two teams, in fact, each with people from all the old teams."

"And your team lost?" Jim deduced.

"Actually, um, things worked kind of differently," Kun explained. "Instead of a challenge for Invincibility, it seems as though, um, both teams are casting a vote each evening, and whoever gets the most votes on each team has to duel the other. The winner stays in the game."

"Sounds really hard," Hiram whimpered.

"The worst part is, the person I lost to was someone I think I could have, um, beaten," Kun lamented. "I think his name was Dean?"

Jim and Louise shared an annoyed look.

"Well, you no longer need to worry about the stresses and woes of the game," Rowan assured him.

"B-But I'd set out to, um, lead my team," Kun frowned. "I never got to do that. My parents will be so disappointed."

"Actually, we were just talking about how we need a system to divide duties between everyone," Louise mentioned. "Since people are more focused on maintaining the fire than the shelter or food. Do you think you could figure something out?"

"Well..." Kun thought about it. "There are, um, seven of us here at the moment." He gestured to Jim and Louise. "You two seem to be the most athletic of us. Probably, um, best suited to hunting and gathering food. You two..." He gestured to Rowan and Hiram. "I think I can trust the two of you to keep adding to the shelter."

"...Hey, wait a minute!" Kirkland objected.

"I am _not_ working with _him_!" Tegan crossed her arms.

"Neither of you, um, have any experience with hunting or building shelter," Kun pointed out. "Unless the both of you picked it up, um, while you were out here."

"I am afraid that they did not," Rowan said with a small, devious smile.

"Snitch," Kirkland muttered.

"You two will maintain the, um, campfire. This is non-negotiable," Kun said.

"You can't make me!" Tegan shouted.

"Childish as ever, I see. You don't even have to speak with me. Just bring me firewood and I'll keep the fire burning," Kirkland told her.

"Why does I have to get the firewood?" Tegan argued.

"Because if you tire yourself out by doing that, you won't have enough energy to keep bothering me," Kirkland sneered.

"Kirkland, um, you will be getting the firewood," Kun interrupted.

"Excuse me?" Kirkland scoffed.

"Ha ha!" Tegan taunted.

"And Tegan, you will also be getting firewood," Kun continued.

"Ha ha," Kirkland said in a voice mocking Tegan's.

"That is your job. To, um, collect firewood, and, um, keep the fire going," Kun explained.

"Or else what?" Kirkland threatened.

"Or else we will not allow you in the shelter we worked so hard to build," Rowan said simply.

"Or else we won't let you eat the meat we worked so hard to catch," Jim added.

"Ugh. _Fine_ ," Kirkland relented.

"Hmph!" Tegan reluctantly agreed.

"See, um, that wasn't so hard," Kun smiled.

* * *

Hiram tugged on Kun's sleeve.

"Hm? What is it, Hiram?" Kun inquired.

"Are you sure we really need Fred's help?" Hiram sighed. "Whenever he tries to help me and Rowan, it just devolves into her having to guide his movements. It's slowing us down, more than anything."

"Fred has his... challenges... but so do all of us," Kun insisted.

Hiram looked to the side. Kun looked in the same direction to see Tegan and Rowan dragging Fred onto the shore from the sea.

"Freddie Spaghetti! We hardly knew ya!" Tegan cried.

"I do not... believe he has left us," Rowan said unsurely.

" _Live_ , dang you!" Tegan commanded as she pounded on Fred's stomach.

"That is not how CPR works!" Rowan gasped.

Despite what Rowan said, Tegan's attempts at saving Fred resulted in him coughing up water.

"Aw, geez," Fred groaned as he sat up. "What happened?"

"I believe you attempted to go fishing. Without any equipment," Rowan ventured.

"Oh yeah, that's right," Fred recalled.

"You silly goose muffin! Getting food is for Jim and Louise," Tegan reminded him.

"But I was hungry, dawg," Fred frowned.

"All of us are hungry," Rowan reminded him.

"I thought getting voted out in this show meant you got to go to some resort or something," Fred complained.

"Well, not today, Zurg! We needs to work hard!" Tegan declared.

"I know. I was working hard to get me some fish," Fred insisted.

"Was he like this when you were on the same team?" Kun asked Hiram.

"Somehow, he was worse," Hiram said.

"Well, I don't want him to, um, not contribute anything, but I don't want him to be a hindrance, either," Kun ruminated.

"How was he even planning on getting fish?" Hiram asked rhetorically.

"What's something that someone could do even if they can't see?" Kun asked.

"He clearly can't do anything. Why force him?" Hiram questioned.

"You, um, really don't like Fred, do you?" Kun figured out.

"Nope," Hiram confirmed. "I know my mommy doesn't want me to be so negative, but I can't help it! He's annoying, and he doesn't help around camp."

"Who are we talking about? Kirkland? Yeah, I feel you," Fred said as he appeared next to the boys.

"Ahhhh!" Hiram screamed, startled.

"Ahhhhh!" Fred shouted back.

"Both of you, um, calm down," Kun huffed.

Both boys stopped yelling.

"Fred, I asked Louise to see if she could, um, find any pears," Kun said. "Would you go check on her for me?"

"Can do, duderino!" Fred saluted before he ran off to find Louise.

"I might need to make it someone's job to keep an eye on Fred," Kun told Hiram. "Maybe whoever gets voted out next."

* * *

Liberty lay fast asleep in the ever-expanding shelter.

"So we're just going to let her sleep there?" Louise questioned.

"She got a bunch of fruit for us while we were sleeping," Fred figured as he ate a banana. "I'd say she's earned it."

"Feh. Hardly. After conspiring to get rid of me, she's lucky I don't wake her up right now," Kirkland scoffed.

"And what good would that do?" Louise doubted.

"It'd be funny," Fred chuckled.

"Don't encourage him!" Louise scolded.

"Actually, she's right," Kirkland decided.

He walked up to Liberty and snatched her sleeping cap off of her head. He stuffed it in his pocket.

"And what good is _that_ going to do?" Louise asked.

"A big fat dopamine rush. The relief of satisfying my urges," Kirkland grinned. "Also, I get to spite her."

"What'd he do?" Fred asked.

"I took her hat," Kirkland shrugged.

"Heh. Goteem," Fred chuckled.

"You two are children," Louise chastised.

"Nobody ever understands," Kirkland scowled.

"I do understand that you're a jerk," Louise accused. "Fred, want to help me hunt a rabbit?"

"Hell yeah, I do!" Fred agreed.

The two left.

"Imbeciles," Kirkland grumbled. He sat down next to Liberty. "I really should get this off my chest, or it's just going to eat at me all day. I don't really talk to people about it, but it's not like you're listening. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I have legitimate kleptomania. I can't help the need to steal things. It's like an addiction to drugs or alcohol. But nobody ever wants to hear my excuses. Stealing is bad, end of story. Tch. Do you think I don't know that? Usually, I just steal small things from friends or family, things that they won't notice are gone. Of course, out here, there isn't really anything that small, so I have to make do."

Liberty mumbled something as she turned over in her sleep. Kirkland froze.

"Phew, I thought she'd actually heard me," Kirkland said with a sigh of relief.

"...hrgbrmg... keep stealing my hat..." Liberty muttered.

Kirkland immediately took her hat out of his pocket, put it back on her head, stood up, and left.

"She's just dreaming. She's just dreaming. She's just dreaming," Kirkland told himself.

* * *

Jeremy sat on the edge of the dock, gazing at the stars, and wrote in his luxury item notebook.

"'July'... oh, what's the date?" Jeremy struggled to remember. "'July 2016', I guess. I'll figure out the exact day later. 'I've been eliminated, and I finished in fifteenth place. Not nearly as well as I wanted, but with how hard the game is, I'll count my blessings. They make it seem so easy on TV, but being an actual part of Total Drama is a whole nother story'."

Rowan took notice of Jeremy and slowly approached him.

"'Throwing up is actually what cost me the game. What a humiliating defeat'," Jeremy wrote. "'On top of that, Shadya voted me in to duel personally. I had feelings for her, but the more I got to know her, the more she hurt me. I think some feelings are still there, but I'm trying to get rid of them. Oh well. At the very least, being eliminated doesn't mean I can't keep surviving the elements. And I get to see Rowan again, too'!"

"You missed me that much, huh?" Rowan winked as she sat down next to him.

"Oh, Rowan!" Jeremy greeted. "Well yeah, you were probably the only consistent friend I had in this game. I guess Dean and Wisdom were alright, but they were more like allies than friends."

"I'm flattered that you think so highly of me," Rowan giggled. "And we only knew each other for such a short time, too."

"Do you not feel the same way?" Jeremy frowned.

" _Au contraire_. I meant what I said to you on the night of my elimination," Rowan assured him. "You're a genuinely good guy, and you don't see that too often."

"Thanks. You're sweet," Jeremy blushed. He sighed.

"The wounds of elimination are still fresh, I assume?" Rowan guessed.

"Yeah," Jeremy confirmed.

"Well, you're handling it more gracefully than I did, I will admit," Rowan told him.

"I also didn't lose as early as you did. Er, no offense," Jeremy figured. "I mostly meant that losing early is probably more upsetting than getting a middle placement like I did."

"I do wish I got to play more than I did," Rowan lamented. "Did you ever find out which of the boys voted for me?"

"It was Nestor," Jeremy informed her. "He said something about not trusting you. I don't really get it, myself."

"Of course it was Nestor. Leave it to him to overplay," Rowan sighed. "You know, you're the first member of The Best Team to come here since me. It's gotten awfully lonely."

"You really missed all of us, huh?" Jeremy asked.

"Well, mostly you," Rowan giggled. "But everyone else had old teammates they can talk to, so I felt left out sometimes."

"Worry not, Rowan! I am here to keep you company in the wilderness that is this island!" Jeremy declared.

Rowan laughed genuinely. "I'm really glad."

Jeremy began writing in his notebook once again. "'It seems like Rowan really missed me, and got kind of lonely ever since she was eliminated. If there's any consolation to losing, dear diary, it's that there's a real friend on the other side'."

Rowan leaned her head on Jeremy's shoulder as the two looked out towards the stars.

* * *

Roxie disgruntledly stepped off the Boat of Losers and onto the dock.

"I need a cigarette. I need a _fucking_ cigarette," Roxie said harshly.

"Your, um, things should arrive before dinner tomorrow," Kun informed her. "Also, hi, um, welcome to Makani Island. I'm Kun, and-"

"Alright, listen up, everyone! I've got some news!" Roxie announced.

"Oh, shoot, it's Roxie!" Fred noticed. "I thought I smelled you coming."

Kirkland snickered at this.

"Team I Don't Know and The Best Team especially! You're going to need to hear this," Roxie stated as she moved to the campfire.

"Wha'happun?" Tegan asked.

"Alright, so you all remember Mark. Shaggy-haired guy from Team I Don't Know and the Brilliant Beaches," Roxie began. "He claims he has amnesia, right?"

"Does he not?" Hiram gasped. "Was he lying about that?"

"Somehow even worse than that!" Roxie snapped. "It turns out that Ginger - the girl from The Best Team who says she has a robot prototype back home - does not have her prototype back home. She has it here! And his name is Mark!"

"Is that why he had no personality?" Liberty droned, having just awoken.

"But... if that's true, why would Ginger not make sure she and Mark were on the same team?" Jeremy couldn't figure out.

"To avoid suspicion, I would imagine," Rowan explained.

"Basically," Roxie confirmed. "I confronted Ginger about it, and that's about exactly what she said. Oh, but that isn't even the worst part."

"Is the worst part the fact that you're making all of this up and woke me up for no reason?" Liberty snarked.

"The worst part is that she's actively tampering with his memories, so he forgot that whole conversation even happened!" Roxie ranted. "Apparently she stopped doing it because I sold her out in front of our team, but now that I'm gone, who knows? She'll probably start doing it again!"

"Is she tampering with all of their memories, too?!" Fred gasped. "Bruh, is she tampering with all of _our_ memories?! Are we actually in the Matrix?!" Fred attempted to bend over backward at the knees and only succeeded in falling on his back.

"Honestly, I'd believe it," Roxie groaned. "What the hell has my life become?"

"Well, um, get some rest tonight," Kun suggested. "We've got food ready for you over by the campfire. You don't have to help around camp until tomorrow."

"I need nicotine... I'll go crazy if I can't... Someone kill me now..." Roxie whined as she sat by the fire with Jeremy and Rowan.

"It'll be less than a day. You can do it," Jeremy encouraged.

"I haven't gone more than four hours without a smoke since I was thirteen!" Roxie cried.

"Even when you're trying to sleep?" Jeremy asked.

"Sometimes, yeah," Roxie confirmed. "Can we not right now? Talk about anything else. I'm at my limit."

"How's the fish?" Jeremy asked.

"Better than my teammates would make it," Roxie admitted. "Who prepared this?

"Oh, we all take turns cooking, so who can say?" Jeremy responded.

"Don't be so modest. You're a wonderful cook, Jeremy," Rowan prodded.

"I didn't want to sound like I was bragging," Jeremy admitted.

"What, you're not passionate about cooking?" Roxie quipped.

"It's a necessary skill when you go camping as often as I do!" Jeremy explained passionately.

"It's little wonder Kun is considering having you on cooking duty full time," Rowan giggled.

"Eugh, we're really listening to him?" Roxie asked.

"I think having structure and authority is making it a lot easier," Rowan said. "I'm not so sure we'd have accomplished so much without him."

"With the last two days... guess I could use some structure... Might not be so bad," Roxie mused.

"That's the spirit!" Jeremy beamed.

* * *

Dean tripped and fell on the dock as he exited the Boat of Losers.

"Yep, it's finally happened. Dean has lost," Dean chuckled nervously as he stood up and dusted himself off.

"Who are you?" Tegan asked.

"...You know what? Fair enough," Dean sighed. He looked around the camp. "Looks like you guys have quite a setup."

"There isn't much else to do out here," Jim explained.

"Well, is there any way I can help?" Dean offered.

"You want to take over my babysitting Fred duties?" Roxie offered. "He doesn't even like me, and I don't super care that much for him, either."

"Well, uh, where is Fred?" Dean asked.

"Uh... I dunno. Probably getting himself hurt in the forest or something. You see, I'm not very good at this," Roxie said nonchalantly.

"Oh, uh, okay," Dean acquiesced. "I'll go check the forest, then."

"Roxie will be going with you," Jim stated.

"Uh, what, excuse me? Since when do you speak for me? This is Dean's job now," Roxie objected.

"Dean hasn't even been here for five minutes. What if he gets lost?" Jim pointed out.

"It's not like you're doing anything else," Tegan huffed.

"Ugh. Fine," Roxie relented. "Come on. I'll show you through the forest."

Dean followed Roxie towards a big grove of trees.

"So, did Elmer tell you about Mark?" Roxie asked.

"No, Elmer and I weren't exactly best friends," Dean admitted. "In fact, tonight's vote was-"

"Just a 'no' will suffice," Roxie interrupted. "Anyway, Mark is actually Ginger's robot and not a real human being with amnesia."

Dean blinked. "I think I heard what you said, but I must be mishearing you."

"Believe me, I can still barely believe it myself," Roxie sighed. "Whatever the case, they clearly have some sort of relationship outside this game."

"Well, they did a better job hiding it than Louise... heh..." Dean commented. "That's why Gretchen wanted to vote her out."

"What a lovestruck fool... To proclaim to the whole world... Loss was her own fault," Roxie mused.

Dean counted on his fingers. "Hey, that was a haiku."

"Never heard of them. What's it to you?!" Roxie panicked.

"I thought it was cool," Dean winced. "Was that on purpose, or..."

Roxie froze up.

"...Roxie?" Dean prompted.

"I hate when people notice it when I say a haiku," Roxie admitted. "It's just kind of a habit I slipped into when I was younger."

"So you can just come up with those off the top of your head?" Dean asked, impressed.

Roxie sighed. "...I was kind of a massive dork when I was in my preteen and early teen years," she confessed. "Big into Japanese culture. You know the type. For whatever reason, I thought haiku were the coolest thing ever. I actually texted people in haiku, and only in haiku, and, of course, I'd try to speak them as much as I could. As you can imagine, I got picked on a lot."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Dean nodded.

Roxie scoffed. "So you do think it's lame, too! Okay!"

"What? No!" Dean stammered. "I meant more in, like, because, uh, I get picked on, so I kind of get why people might pick on someone else... I think?"

"Ugh, I don't know why I keep trying to find someone who'll understand me," Roxie bemoaned. "I've started confiding in you, and I just met you."

"Maybe you want someone to genuinely believe and convince you that you're not as uncool as you seem to think you are," Dean suggested.

"What the-?" Roxie choked.

"I've done the same thing in the past," Dean confessed. "And by 'in the past', I mean last week. I got called out pretty hard, and it gave me a lot to think about."

"And what conclusion did you come to, genius?" Roxie challenged.

"If you go seeking pity, whether you're trying to or not, whether it's justified or not, people are just going to get annoyed," Dean told her. "Everyone has problems and insecurities. Acting like yours are the only ones that matter isn't going to sit well with people."

"I hate it," Roxie stated. "Ugh, where the hell is Fred?"

"Maybe he got back to camp after we left," Dean suggested.

"I'll go check camp. I need a smoke, anyway," Roxie decided. "You keep searching the forest."

"I-I'll do what I can," Dean tentatively agreed.

* * *

"So I said, 'That isn't a yeti, that's my wife!" Steve Jenkins told Brick, Owen, and Sugar on his Boat of Losers ride.

"...Why did you just shout that without any context or buildup?" Brick asked.

"I guess the sheer layers of humor can be a bit advanced for those not well-versed in the mindset that is Steve Jenkins," Steve Jenkins figured. "You'll get it someday. Just like you'll get why my omelet was literal ambrosia that every deity ever thought up would commit Greek tragedies to have so much as a bite. Someday."

"It was fine. I've had better," Owen admitted.

"It ain't a _real_ omelet unless it's got shredded rattlesnake and aged coyote milk," Sugar insisted.

"They didn't have those as ingredients," Steve Jenkins huffed.

"Then you got no right calling it an omelet, city boy!" Sugar snapped.

"Ah! I will not stand for these _slurs_ against people who don't screw their own tractors!" Steve Jenkins retorted.

"That was only because I lost a bet!" Sugar cried.

"FALL OUT!" Brick called as he stood between them.

"Ah!" Owen fell out of the Boat of Losers.

"Man down!" Brick announced. He opened the sliding window separating them from the driver. "Owen fell in the sea!"

"I'm not paid enough to care," the driver droned.

"He isn't getting paid enough to drown!" Brick argued.

"He's survived worse," the driver figured. "I'll probably grab him on the drive back to the staff lodge.

"You _will_ retrieve him! That's an order!" Brick commanded.

"After I drop off the annoying kid from this season," the intern groaned.

"What annoying kid? Was there a double elimination?!" Steve Jenkins gasped.

"He's talking about you, smog-for-brains!" Sugar taunted.

"At least I've never made eyes at my cousin!" Steve Jenkins argued.

"At least I've actually won competitions for being so hot and don't have to pretend!" Sugar argued.

"At least my house doesn't have wheels and can fit more than two people!" Steve Jenkins shot back.

"At least I'm not going out with some weird crossdresser who's-"

Sugar could not finish her statement before Steve Jenkins shoved her out of the Boat of Losers.

"I can take some fun back-and-forth, but if there's one thing Steve Jenkins won't stand for, it's transphobia!" Steve Jenkins called.

Brick turned to the driver. "We lost another one."

"And I'm still not being paid enough to care," the driver responded before he began drinking from a flask.

"What's in that flask?" Brick asked knowingly.

"Used bathwater, what do you think?" the driver responded.

"This show..." Brick sighed.

* * *

Elmer had gone off into the forest with Louise the night of his elimination.

"I just feel like I let you down," Elmer told Louise. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and when I found out yours was cut so short, I knew I needed to win for both of us."

"Hey, you did your best," Louise consoled him. "You're, like, the smartest person I know. I know for a fact that you kicked ass out there. Hiram, Fred, and Dean all let me know."

"Yeah, Fred..." Elmer sighed. "I still need to talk to him. I feel bad for leaving him out to dry like that. It was the smart game move to make, but still."

"He's actually pretty cool with it," Louise assured him. Her smile fell. "Actually, I feel like I'm the one who messed up big time. I shouldn't have let everyone know we're together. It cost me the game, and it probably gave you a lot of trouble, too."

"You were surprised and excited to see me. I get it," Elmer smiled.

"You knew I'd signed up for this show, too, didn't you?" Louise deduced.

"I had a feeling," Elmer winked. "But I wasn't entirely sure, so I was pretty excited and surprised to see you, too."

"Could have fooled me," Louise nudged him.

"I didn't want for us to be the obvious power couple," Elmer frowned. "And believe me, I wanted nothing more than for us to kick this game's ass side-by-side, but if people knew that we were already so close before the game even started..."

"Then I get voted out because some girl thinks that having a super cool boyfriend makes me more of a protagonist than her," Louise pouted. "Like I said, that was totally my own fault. It's still kind of dumb, though, being punished for wanting to tell your boyfriend that you're seeing in person for the first time that you love him."

"...Well, that's all in the past," Elmer told her. "Now that we're both out of the game..."

Elmer kissed Louise. Louise wrapped her arms around him and kissed him three more times.

"I love you, Louise," Elmer said. "I love you so, so much, Louise! I'm so sorry I never said it before, but I do!"

"Elmer, oh my god!" Louise squealed, her face a deep red. "I love you, too, Elmer! More than I've ever loved anyone!"

The two embraced as they continued to kiss one another.

"...Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Louise blushed.

"W-What if someone catches us?" Elmer asked.

"I get the feeling that the others already assumed..." Louise giggled.

"In the middle of a forest?" Elmer questioned.

"I can't think of a better place than on location of our favorite TV show," Louise winked.

"I can't argue with that," Elmer smiled.

He removed his sweater vest and kissed Louise deeply once again.

* * *

Hiram, Fred, Roxie, Elmer, and Bunko all sat around the campfire.

"Brah, Mark really is the last member of Team I Don't Know who's still in the game, huh?" Fred mentioned.

"Seems like it," Elmer nodded.

"How the hell is he even allowed to keep playing?" Roxie spat. "He isn't even a real human being."

"You take that back!" Bunko objected. "Mark is _twice_ the human you'll ever be!"

"He's a machine that only looks like a person!" Roxie lit a cigarette. "That's like saying Hatsune Miku is a real person!"

"I don't know who that is," Hiram admitted quietly. "But don't yell at Bunko again!"

"Or what? You're going to cut yourself again like the little edgelord you are?" Roxie sneered.

"You're one to talk," Elmer commented.

"Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuum!" Fred laughed. "Louise really loosened you up, eh?"

"Whoa! Totally over the line!" Elmer scolded.

"But am I wrong?" Fred chuckled.

"Also, fuck you Elmer, are you seriously taking Hiram's side right now?!" Roxie accused.

"I'm not taking sides, but if you're going to be hypocritical about it..." Elmer responded.

While the others fought, Bunko stood up and left them alone. She found Dean sitting in the shelter.

"I'm supposed to be watching over Fred to make sure he doesn't hurt himself," Dean told her.

"Are you going to do something about this fight?" Bunko asked.

"I know for a fact that they'll direct all their anger at me once I do. I'm just mentally preparing myself," Dean explained.

"By the way, Wisdom wanted me to tell you that she and I were able to work together and that she thinks of me as a friend," Bunko said.

"Oh, really? That's great!" Dean smiled. "How is Wisdom doing?"

"I think the merge made her kind of nervous," Bunko said. "But she's staying out of trouble."

"That's good. The staying-out-of-trouble part, not the nervousness part. That part's less good," Dean responded.

"Well, she should be safe next round," Bunko said. "Did Steve Jenkins or Elmer tell you what this shuffle is like?"

"Steve Jenkins made it very clear how unfair the whole thing was to him," Dean said.

"Yeah, well Wisdom is in limbo now, because I was her partner, and tomorrow she'll end up partners with whoever loses their partner," Bunko explained.

"They're at the single digits by now, right?" Dean realized. "Final nine?"

"I think so," Bunko nodded. "Aw, darn it, I missed out on single digits!"

"At least you made the merge," Dean affirmed. "I just barely missed out. 13th place... If that isn't the most Dean thing I could have done..."

"Good thing there's 24 people this season and not 14 like in Pahkitew Island," Bunko joked.

"I wonder who's going to win it all," Dean thought aloud.

"Probably Shadya," Bunko said with disgust.

"Remind me of who all is still there?" Dean requested.

"Ooh! I can do that and more!" Bunko said with a twinkle in her eye as she pulled out her sketchbook.

* * *

"A-Are you serious?!" Roxie shouted at Gretchen, who sat with her, Dean, and Steve Jenkins by the campfire.

"Believe me, I'm no fan of it, either," Gretchen spat. "Now everyone's going to be calling those two the protagonists for sure! Especially now that I'm voted out!"

"How do you know for sure?" Dean asked.

"I was getting to that. Don't interrupt people, Dean!" Gretchen reprimanded.

Dean hung his head.

"Anyway, Mark gave himself a nosebleed in the middle of the challenge, which apparently Ginger didn't design him to do," Gretchen explained. "So she starts freaking out, Shadya gets impatient, and then Shadya takes one of the swords from the challenge and cuts Ginger's cheek to clarify everything. Sure enough, no blood."

"So Mark really... did lie to me? About everything?" Roxie choked. "Fuck him fuck him fuck him FUCK HIM!"

She marched off.

"I'm, uh, going to go make sure she's okay," Dean offered as he stood up.

"No, you aren't. Sit your ass down, Dean!" Gretchen ordered.

Dean reluctantly complied.

"Also his real name isn't Mark, obviously," Gretchen added. "He said what it was: ...something like Godwin. Something pretentious and stupid."

"I always knew that kid was a lamer," Steve Jenkins said. "What an attention whore, am I right?"

"Tell me about it!" Gretchen ranted. "Wait, are you talking about Mark or Roxie?"

"I meant Mark, but you know what? Roxie, too!" Steve Jenkins laughed.

"Eh, I'll cut Roxie a tiny bit of slack because she wanted to work with me," Gretchen allowed. "Of course, she got voted out like right after she decided that, so she wasn't really that helpful to me, was she?"

"Roxie's just trying to come to grips with her opinion of herself," Dean defended. "Oh, I probably shouldn't speak for her. Especially about that kind of thing."

"Can't relate. I'm a golden god," Steve Jenkins shrugged.

"Unless this all culminates into her coming out of the closet, I don't really care if she hates herself," Gretchen dismissed.

Dean dropped the conversation.

"Anyway, let's start talking about me again," Gretchen prompted. "I'm practically guaranteed a spot in All-Stars, right?"

"You and me both, girl," Steve Jenkins winked.

"Er, yeah," Gretchen agreed. "Actually, that's it! I didn't win this season because me failing the first time is going to make my eventual victory in All-Stars that much sweeter!"

"Just imagine it," Steve Jenkins beamed. "You and me voting out all those other posers that the show mistakenly thought were worth bringing back until we make the final two. You literally couldn't come up with a better finale if Batman and Freddie Mercury were there."

"Why those two specifically?" Dean asked.

"Because they're two of the coolest non-Steve-Jenkins people I could think of off the top of my head," Steve Jenkins explained.

"What if you don't get picked for All-Stars?" Dean asked. "N-Not that I don't think you qualify, because that's obviously not the case."

"Obviously," Gretchen echoed.

"But, you know, a lot of fan favorites like Dawn and Noah didn't make it in," Dean explained.

"Please. They didn't even make the merge in their seasons. I'm above them," Gretchen boasted.

"Plus you're a prophylactic or whatever it was you said," Steve Jenkins chimed in.

"How the hell do you know that word and not 'protagonist'?" Gretchen questioned.

"Do you want to worship something you can comprehend?" Steve Jenkins handwaved.

"..." Gretchen responded.

* * *

"Hey hey, bitches! Nestor has arrived!" Nestor announced as he set foot on the dock.

"You hear that, guys? Life is finally worth living," Liberty drawled.

"Please, do keep up the classic UTRN quips for the losers episode, dear. It's all you've got going for you," Nestor shot back with an insecure sneer.

"At least I've got ambitions for my life that don't involve a TV show aimed at pre-teens," Liberty sneered back.

"And what would those ambitions be? Making dry skin and dressing like a Rankin-Bass character who just saw Santa flying by in the middle of the night a thing? Because it isn't working," Nestor returned.

"I thought I heard the sound of misplaced arrogance!" Gretchen beamed as she walked up to the two.

"There are a million and one ways I could turn that around on you, but all of them would be too easy," Nestor said. "Easy targets are no fun."

"Is that why they won't let you play laser tag anymore?" Gretchen raised an eyebrow.

"A fat joke? How scathing and original. Did you come up with it while you were polishing your scalp this morning?" Nestor condescended.

"The biggest insult in this entire conversation is the fact that both of you outlasted me," Liberty yawned.

"It's not enough to be a bad bitch. You gotta be a bad bitch who plays the game, sweetie," Nestor told her.

"Yeah, try telling Kirkland I never played the game," Liberty snickered.

"You hear that, Nestor? Liberty made one whole move, all by herself! What a good girl!" Gretchen mocked.

"You two can keep exercising your humiliation fetishes with each other. I'm going to go get some firewood or something," Liberty decided as she stood up and left.

"Damn, you were extra mean with that one," Nestor told Gretchen.

"Were _you_ just going to stand there and let the girl who slept through most of the game tell you off?" Gretchen challenged. "I'm the protagonist, for crying out loud! Who does this irrelevant gag character think she's fooling?"

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing looking at you," Nestor chuckled.

"So how the hell did you end up here, anyway?" Gretchen asked. "You know, besides the obvious reasons."

"Oh my god, it was so funny," Nestor began. "So, the Purple pair won the challenge."

"Gross," Gretchen interjected.

"And when it got to the point where they had to pick one pair to be at risk, Shadya says Orange, and Ginger's all 'Yo, what the hell girl, I want Godfrey to go home _yesterday_ '!" Nestor dramatically snapped his fingers.

"Her exact words, I'm sure," Gretchen commented.

"So they straight up argued over which pair to put at risk and Chris had to settle it with a damn coin toss!" Nestor continued. "Shadya won, of course."

"Of course," Gretchen agreed.

"So it was me versus Rhiannon, and the sad thing is, the duel wasn't even that athletic. I could have won it," Nestor huffed.

"Why the hell did Shadya want you gone so bad? Or the Yellow pair, for that matter?" Gretchen wondered.

"Obviously my expertise in all things Total Drama intimidated them," Nestor figured.

"Guys, why is Liberty crying?" Kun asked. "I saw her talking to, um, you two, and then she went to the forest, and... what did you guys say?"

"Why do you assume it's our fault?" Gretchen asked.

"It probably is our fault," Nestor pointed out. "Both of us can get carried away with the sassy banter. Not everyone is as into it as we are. That's something I hadn't really realized until recently. I'll go talk to her."

Kun led Nestor away.

"She was bantering back! I will not be blamed, here!" Gretchen called back.

* * *

"Whoa, nice digs," Ginger commented as she walked up to the campfire.

The other seventeen losers had sat in a circle around the campfire, all eating dinner.

"Oh my goodness is that Ginger?!" Nestor gasped. "Get your ass over here, girl! Spill the tea!"

"Well, there were only three pairs left in the game, so whichever pairs didn't win the challenge were just going to duel," Ginger explained. "Shadya made it a point to let the Yellow pair win because she was more confident in my ability to win a duel or something."

"Underestimating Godfrey was everyone's first mistake," Elmer said.

"Do you think he's going to win the whole game?" Louise asked.

"If people keep underestimating him, maybe," Elmer figured.

"As long as Shadya is in the game, I cannot imagine anyone else winning," Rowan commented.

"Yeah, as unsociable as she is, she's still really strong _and_ really smart," Jeremy agreed.

"Well, Chris all but confirmed that the next shuffle is about to happen, so who knows what her chances will be?" Ginger figured.

"Remind me who all is left?" Hiram requested. "I don't remember much about the other teams."

"Well, obviously there's Godfrey!" Bunko mentioned. "He's always been a nice guy and a good friend!"

"Pfft. Yeah. Except for the part where he lied about who he was and who Ginger was to each and every one of us," Roxie added.

"As mentioned, there's Shadya," Rowan continued.

"I've pegged that woman as the big threat right from the start," Nestor said. "And that has not changed now that the amount of players has quartered."

"Please. Shady thinks she's hot shit, but she's lost challenges and had votes not go her way before," Steve Jenkins mentioned. "She could win, but she doesn't necessarily have to."

"The Knights of Goodness still have both, um, Hildegard and Rhiannon," Kun recalled.

"Go Hilde, go Hilde, go!" Tegan cheered. "Hilde roxxorz! She's got her big pokey stick, and she never gives up, no matter what!"

"I wish she would. She's also got the personality of a seven-year-old playing pretend in the backyard," Kirkland scoffed. "At least Rhiannon has expressed that she's a reasonable human being. Pretty smart, too."

"Rhiannon gets too emotional too easily. It's probably going to be her downfall," Gretchen claimed. "As for the Luscious Lollipops... geez, it's Virgil and Wisdom, of all people."

"Virgil's got a good head on his shoulders," Jim smiled. "He was the stability I needed when I was in the game. I'm not surprised he's lasted this long."

"He was always pretty hard on me. Eh, then again, a lot of people are, so I don't know if I can blame him specifically for that," Dean chimed in. "Wisdom, though: she's super cool. Probably the sweetest person I've ever met, and she's someone I felt like I could be myself around."

"Really? She barely talked to me - or anyone for that matter," Nestor said. "I keep hearing she's made moves and allies, but if that's true, she must have dropped off hardcore once the merge hit."

"Well, of the final six, I really hope she wins the most," Dean admitted.

"What if she doesn't win?" Ginger asked.

"Maybe Hildegard?" Dean figured. "What about you?"

"Oh, I want Godfrey to win, no questions asked," Ginger answered. "It's like I always said: that cash prize could serve to advance robotics so much. If not him, then I guess Rhiannon."

"Frankly, I admire Godfrey's ability to deceive each and every one of us for so long," Kirkland smirked. "Virgil always seemed cool, too, so he'd be my second pick."

"Virgil's the only one of the final six I ever really knew. I'd be fine with him winning," Roxie said. "If he loses, then I'm rooting for Shadya. Mostly because she beat me in that duel, and I'd feel less awful about losing if the person who beat me won the whole thing."

"Ugh, Shadya winning would be soooooo boring," Nestor disagreed. "I'd be interested in seeing someone like Rhiannon or Wisdom take it all. One of them winning would just be so many blog posts waiting to happen."

"I'm absolutely rooting for Rhiannon. She was probably my best ally in the whole game," Elmer stated. "I guess Virgil would be my second pick. I've got problems with everyone else."

"Virgil's my first pick. He was my best ally in the game," Louise added. "And Wisdom was always a sweetie. Go Lollipops, I guess!" She giggled.

"I agree with Louise as far as wanting Virgil to win goes," Jim nodded. "Wisdom, though... She tricked me into getting myself voted out. I wouldn't be comfortable if she won. Hildegard seemed like an upstanding woman, though. I think she'd be my backup."

"Hilde! Hilde!" Tegan cheered. "Her and Rhi-Rhi are the only ones I really know."

"I was never really able to connect with either of them," Jeremy admitted. "I felt like Wisdom had my back during my last few rounds, so I'm rooting for her. If not her, then Godfrey. I never knew him, but he's the friend of my friend."

"Ain't that precious?" Gretchen remarked. "Wisdom proved surprisingly loyal to me, so I'm all for her winning this game. I guess Rhiannon would be an okay winner, too. I disagreed with her the least."

"Rhiannon was the only Knight of Goodness who didn't suck," Liberty posited. "If she doesn't win then..." Liberty yawned. "Wisdom, because our names are both abstract nouns and we gotta stick together, or something."

"That's hella tight," Fred chuckled. "I don't know, Mark, or Godfrey, or whatever his name is... He was always a G. Him or I guess Wisdom to win."

"I've actually got the same picks as Fred," Bunko giggled. "Godfrey was one of my best allies, and Wisdom was okay, too. Better than Shadya and her goons!"

"My, has even one person cited Shadya as someone they wish to see win?" Rowan mentioned. "I actually think she's a very admirable, hardworking woman who could very well earn the first place spot. I've never met Rhiannon, but I get a similar feeling about her."

"Roxie said she wanted Shadya to win, too," Hiram pointed out. "Godfrey was my friend, even if he did vote me out, so I want him to win. If I have to pick a second person, then I guess Wisdom. If Bunko likes her, that must mean something."

"I would actually like to, um, see Shadya win this game," Kun admitted. "The world needs, um, capable leaders, and she always seemed to play the part. Hildegard would actually be my second pick, since, um, she's clearly proven herself as well."

"And saving the best for last..." Steve Jenkins grinned. "Shady and Virgil were both supporters of the Steve Jenkins cause. One of them ought to win."

"When did Shadya ever... eh, you know what, never mind. I don't care," Ginger said. "But yeah, it seems like everyone has their supporters. I wonder how many of you would have rooted for me if I was still in the game."

"I would!" Jeremy beamed.

"I appreciate it," Ginger smirked.

* * *

The next day, on Apoy Island, the final six were awakened when a military helicopter descended upon the wasteland.

"Is this our ride to the next island?" Wisdom groaned as she and the others regained consciousness.

"The only island we haven't been to is the one with the big tall mountain," Virgil pointed out. "We're probably going to the top of the mountain."

"Then they should make us climb it," Shadya spat. "No one deserves to win this game if they can't at least do that much."

"I don't know about you, but I could go for some comfortable seats," Rhiannon admitted as she cracked her back. "This shelter... has character, we'll say."

"If our shelter is a character, then it must be the villain!" Hildegard agreed. "Thanks in no small part to Godfrey and Ginger burning our comfort!"

"There are only six of us left. We could afford to lose one blanket and pillow," Godfrey insisted.

The helicopter finished its descent and opened up. The contestants caught on to the cue and entered. Once all six had made it inside, the door closed back up, and the helicopter flew off.

* * *

Back at Makani Island, the eighteen contestants who had lost the game took notice of the helicopter flying above.

* * *

As predicted, the helicopter descended upon the mountain peak. Once the aircraft landed and opened up its doors for the contestants to exit, they were greeted with a grassy plateau a few kilometers in diameter. A scarce amount of trees grew on the peak, and the chilly wind bit at the teenagers' skin.

"Geez, it's cold up here," Godfrey shivered.

"Honestly, after the Tough Tundras camp, this is fine," Rhiannon admitted.

"Aye, indeed the transition to humid Apoy Island was harder for me," Hildegard agreed.

"Do you think part of that might be because of your armor?" Wisdom pointed out.

"I've climbed Mt. Everest. This is child's play," Shadya pointed out.

"All bow before Her Majesty," Virgil snarked.

Chris exited the helicopter and greeted the contestants.

"Welcome, final six, to Makani Island! The island of wind's perseverance," Chris began. "And yes indeed, it's time for the final shuffle of the game. Woo!"

None of the other contestants cheered back.

"Man, Nestor would have cheered," Chris griped. "Killjoys. Anyway, as is to be expected, the rest of the game is going to be vastly different from how things were. For one thing: pairs are no more. It truly is everyone for themselves."

"Naturally," Shadya nodded.

"Here's how a round on Makani Island will play out," Chris explained. "Starting tonight, each night will hold the Big Kahuna challenge. The winner of the Big Kahuna challenge, will, of course, become the Big Kahuna. The following morning, the Big Kahuna must select two Sacrificial Lambs - two contestants to be up for elimination. In the afternoon, we'll hold the Divine Intervention challenge. Whoever wins Divine Intervention will have the ability to save one Sacrificial Lamb from the slaughter later that evening, forcing the Big Kahuna to select someone else. And as a bonus, the person who used Divine Intervention cannot be selected as the replacement Sacrificial Lamb. Come nighttime, the contestants who aren't Sacrificial Lambs or the Big Kahuna will vote for one of the Sacrificial Lambs. The Lamb with the most votes will be eliminated from the game. Ties will be broken by the Big Kahuna. Any questions?"

"I can't help but notice there's nothing we can really use to build a shelter or make food?" Rhiannon pointed out.

"As a reward for having made it this far, the Tent of Banquets will become a fixture of this island, too, and everyone can eat there every day!" Chris announced.

"That's what's up," Virgil grinned.

"As for shelter, there are still resources you can use," Chris chuckled. "Your rewards from prior islands will be here shortly. Until then, congrats on making it to the final six, everyone!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** This format seems to greatly reward challenge ability. Excellent. I have by far the most challenge capability of those of us remaining, and I still have two allies on my side to vote how I wish. I dare say the rest of this game is a formality.

 **Hildegard:** At last! Our final quest is upon us! Let us forge onward towards the greatest heights! I look forward to what tribulations we must overcome!

 **Virgil:** _(He is eating a bag of sour balls.)_ We're going in with two alliances of three. Just like the Luscious Lollipops. Only this time, I'm not going to let my allies just get voted out. This whole Big Kahuna system sounds like a blessing and a curse. I've just got to work it in my favor.

 **Godfrey:** I think I've managed to stick around long enough for the initial shock of me being Ginger's creator to have worn off for the others. Either way, I'm going to have to make some moves if I want to make it to the end, and I absolutely plan to.

 **Rhiannon:** It's do or die at this point. There are six of us left, and only one winner. All of us want to be that winner, so I'm going to have to fight my ass off to make sure it's me. I've made it this far, and I can make it all the way, too!

 **Wisdom:** Another new set of rules, huh? Will this affect my chances of winning? For the better, or for the worse? _(She chuckles.)_ Does it matter? Have I not proven myself capable of adapting to any situation? What doubt is there that I can pull this off? _(She rubs the back of her neck.)_ Heh?

* * *

The contestants worked with what they could to construct a new shelter and campfire. By the time night fell, the shelter was small, only barely able to fit all six of them, and the campfire consisted of an unlit pile of kindling.

"Who's ready for the Big Kahuna Challenge?!" Chris announced.

"Probably none of-"

"I am," Shadya interrupted Godfrey.

"Awesome! Let's get this show on the road, then!" Chris laughed. "I sure hope you guys aren't tired from setting up camp!"

"Lady Hildegard... never... falters..." Hildegard panted as she weakly held a thumbs-up.

"If I may direct your attention to these..." Chris gestured at six contraptions.

The contraptions in question featured a rope attached to a giant bucket lifted high above by wooden beams and secured by a hinge.

"Your goal is simple," Chris began. "Hold onto the ropes, and keep the bucket upright, with just one hand. If you let go of your rope, you're out of the challenge. If you use anything but the one hand to hold the rope, you're out of the challenge. If the contents of the bucket drop onto you, you are out of the challenge. The last person standing will be this round's Big Kahuna."

"Each rope is of a different length," Virgil pointed out.

"Yes, each one is tailored to each of your heights," Chris explained. "So each of you is going to have to keep your arm held up."

"What's... in the buckets?" Wisdom winced.

"You're just going to have to find out for yourselves," Chris winked.

"Well, this does seem simple, if nothing else," Rhiannon figured.

"Glad you think so!" Chris clapped. "Once we get you all situated, the challenge will begin!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** An endurance challenge, huh? I guess there's no need to keep things fancy now that there are no more duels or group challenges. Honestly? Bring it on.

* * *

Each of the six contestants had their arm held up and holding onto their rope.

"The challenge starts in three... two... one," Chris smiled. "Letting go of your rope will now result in losing the challenge."

The contestants silently focused on their task for several minutes until Virgil spoke up.

"So what kind of candy do y'all miss from back home?" Virgil smirked. "Or hell, anything sugary in general."

"Why are you like this?" Shadya sighed.

"See, with all the junk food I brought, I completely forgot to bring tiny cream-filled cupcakes, and I could really go for one right now," Virgil continued. "There really is nothing like the texture, the small amount of give before you sink your teeth into the soft insides..."

Hildegard, as if in a trance, relaxed her arm enough to pull the bucket over, spilling yellow powder all over her, which erupted in a colorful cloud.

"Foh, and be hanged!" Hildegard shouted to Virgil.

"Hildegard is out of the challenge," Chris acknowledged.

"What about you, Top Banana?" Virgil continued. "I know you've probably eliminated all food that society has deemed unhealthy from your mindset, but surely you must remember when you were a child."

"If you think my mind is as easily broken as the others, then frankly, I'm insulted that you think I'd be so weak," Shadya grunted.

"I'm only going to take that as a challenge," Virgil snickered.

* * *

Fifteen minutes had passed since the challenge began.

"You guys have been at this for fifteen minutes," Chris said. "Surely your arm must be getting tired from staying up for so long. Surely the rope must be chafing your hand."

Pain showed on the faces of all five still-competing contestants.

A minute or two passed, and Wisdom let go of her rope.

"Wisdom is out of the challenge!" Chris announced.

"At least sixteen-ish minutes isn't bad, right?" Wisdom said to no one in particular as she shook the pain out of her hand.

"I've been in pain from ropes for longer periods of time," Rhiannon joked weakly.

"Damn, that's just unfortunate," Virgil responded.

"They use actual ropes like these?" Godfrey asked.

"Not thick and scratchy like these," Rhiannon clarified.

"Hey, Top Banana, you're the best at everything, right?" Virgil started.

"You had better not ask me what I think you're about to ask me," Shadya glowered.

"I'm just wondering. Surely a woman as accomplished and skilled as you are must have taken several lovers," Virgil chuckled.

"I fail to understand the logic," Shadya said flatly.

"I mean, to imply otherwise would mean that there's something you _aren't_ good at," Virgil continued.

Shadya's grip tightened on her rope. Without realizing it, she had pulled the bucket down, dumping purple powder all over her.

"Damn, I can't believe that actually worked," Virgil commented. "No hard feelings?"

"Your downfall will be delicious," Shadya responded.

"Aw, you old soft serve," Virgil grinned.

Virgil's bucket immediately dumped orange powder on him as his arm slacked.

"Shadya and Virgil, out back to back!" Chris announced. "It's down to Godfrey and Rhiannon. One of them will be our first Big Kahuna."

"I won't give up!" Rhiannon insisted through the pain.

"That makes two of us." Godfrey forced himself to smile.

* * *

Thirty minutes had passed since the beginning of the challenge. Both Godfrey and Rhiannon looked dead inside, and their arms shook.

"You guys have been up there for thirty minutes!" Chris pointed out. "You must really want this."

"The outcome of this challenge... will determine the course of the rest of the game," Godfrey mustered.

"I can go... all... day," Rhiannon said unconvincingly.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Without warning, Godfrey let go of his rope and stepped down.

"I'm sorry," Godfrey said to Virgil and Wisdom.

"Rhiannon wins the challenge! She is our Big Kahuna!" Chris announced.

Rhiannon pulled her rope down emphatically, dumping red powder all over her.

"Admirably done," Shadya nodded.

"O, well said, Lady Rhiannon!" Hildegard praised.

"Tomorrow morning, we will hold our first Sacrificial Lamb Ceremony," Chris told the contestants. "Rhiannon, you have until then to decide which two contestants will be your Sacrificial Lambs. And hey, while the challenge was going on, we got the Tent of Banquets set up. Enjoy!"

The final six couldn't help but smile excitedly as they made their way towards the Tent.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** So I get to decide which two contestants can be voted for, but I won't get to vote. Of course, neither will they, so if I put up two people I'm not working with, then there's no way things can't go my way... right?

 **Wisdom:** Things aren't looking good for me and my allies, are they? But I can always turn things around, right? I did back on the Luscious Lollipops and the Tough Tundras, so why not now? Who says I'm doomed?

* * *

Chris sat in the helicopter that brought the contestants to the Makani Island peak.

"It's the dawning of a new chapter of Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris announced. "Who will Rhiannon pick as her Sacrificial Lambs? Will Divine Intervention save one of her picks? And who will ultimately be the first person eliminated from Makani Island? Only time will tell, on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

None

* * *

 **Makani Island:**

Godfrey - The Mysterious Roboticist

Hildegard - The Paladin

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Ginger - The Snarky Robot_

 _Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger_

 _Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist_

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_


	22. I Would Kill For Some Pizza

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he sat within the military helicopter. "Previously, the sides were ultimately solidified on Apoy Island. Ginger, Hildegard, Rhiannon, and Shadya on one side, and Godfrey, Virgil, and Wisdom on the other. With things so clear-cut, the contestants were mostly content with getting into personal stuff. Virgil and Rhiannon discussed bisexuality, Godfrey lamented the idea that he might be a bad person, and Ginger and Hildegard discussed existentialism and how robots might fit into religion. Ginger even plucked up the courage to talk to Godfrey.

"The challenge was a certified TD classic: the tri-armed triathlon. Shadya had planned to throw the challenge to the Yieldless Yellow Pair, but with the Pyro Purple Pair unable to complete the second round, it came down to Yieldless Yellow and Blazing Blue. In the end, Shadya still got her way, and the Yieldless Yellow Pair won Invincibility.

"The duel was between Ginger and Godfrey. Man versus machine. It was a close race to see who could build a big enough fire first, but Godfrey was only just able to pull through, leaving Ginger as our seventh-placer.

"The next day, our final six were whisked away to Makani Island for their final shuffle. After getting their small camp set up, our contestants competed for the title of Big Kahuna. Virgil kept trying to mess with his competition, to mixed results, but Rhiannon was ultimately able to endure the pain and come out on top.

"Who will Rhiannon choose as Sacrificial Lambs? How will the contestants adapt to the new set of rules? And who will be the first casualty of Makani Island? Only one way to find out. This... is Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Rhiannon and Shadya met up away from camp.

"I imagine you've put thought into who you will nominate in a few hours," Shadya mentioned.

"Of course," Rhiannon nodded. "Chris said that if someone wins Divine Intervention, they can't be chosen as a Sacrificial Lamb that round if Divine Intervention is used. So I think I'll nominate Godfrey and Virgil. I think they're more likely to win a challenge than Wisdom, so if that happens, I can just nominate Wisdom."

"That would have been my exact suggestion," Shadya nodded with a small smile. "This minimizes the risk of being forced to nominate an ally. If the person you don't nominate does win Divine Intervention, they'd likely save one of their allies, and you'd be forced to put Hildegard up."

"...Exactly," Rhiannon acknowledged. "I just hope there isn't some rule I'm forgetting about that'll screw all my plans."

"There isn't. I memorized the ruleset the instant Chris relayed it to us," Shadya told her.

"Well, that's a relief," Rhiannon smiled.

"I must say, I'm glad you won the role of Big Kahuna when I could not," Shadya acknowledged. "Losing Ginger was concerning, but this puts us right back into power, as it should be."

"Awwwww, you care about her," Rhiannon teased.

"She would have lost at some point, so it makes no difference to me in the long run," Shadya insisted. "Her departure will make things more difficult for me, particularly in the event where someone who is not aligned with us wins Big Kahuna, but I've overcome worse odds. I've actually been banned from at least two casinos because they thought I was cheating."

"Are you even old enough to gamble?" Rhiannon asked.

"In Alberta, Manitoba, and Quebec, yes," Shadya confirmed.

"I see," Rhiannon nodded. "I suppose that's a weird question to come from a young adult film actress."

"For what it's worth, you look a few years older than you are," Shadya told her. "I probably would not have thought of you as a teenager outside of the context of this game."

"Look who's talking," Rhiannon chuckled. "Little Miss I Can Do Anything over here. And you're only eighteen?"

"I like to think that my accomplishments speak more for me than my age, gender, upbringing, et cetera," Shadya said. "And yet that's all that the media will focus on when my accomplishments get covered."

"That's right, Jeremy and Ginger had heard of you before the game started, right?" Rhiannon acknowledged. "I guess someone like you would be kind of famous, huh?"

"Yes, and I suppose that if Ginger had heard of me, Godfrey would have heard of me by extension," Shadya nodded. "And, no, before you ask, I'd never met any of them before the game."

"That hadn't even occurred to me, but then I guess Elmer and Louise knew each other before the game," Rhiannon thought aloud. "I guess it's a good thing Louise was voted out before they were able to team up against us."

"Elmer may not have aligned with us were that the case, so perhaps that could be considered a boon," Shadya acknowledged.

Rhiannon giggled. "Perhaps."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Well, I'm... glad to hear I have Shadya's permission to go through with the plan that makes the most sense? Shadya's always been kind of weird about that kind of thing, and I'm not sure I'm equipped to talk to her about it at the moment. Maybe later when I'm not the one in charge of how the round will go.

 **Shadya:** I suppose I'd never thought to put together the facts that Ginger recognized me from before the game, and that Ginger's memories from before the game were created entirely by Godfrey. He's certainly never spoken to me about it. Either way, he won't have a chance to do so by the time tonight is over.

* * *

Virgil and Wisdom had gone off to get more firewood.

"So, uh..." Virgil began. "You ever play Yu-Gi-Oh?"

"No?" Wisdom cocked her head to the side. "Where did that come from?"

"I'm just trying to make conversation. I don't know," Virgil admitted. "We spent the entire game just not talking to each other and now we're relying on each other to get to the end."

"Strange how that works, isn't it?" Wisdom responded. "Do you still not trust me?"

"I trust you more than those other three," Virgil told her.

"But you'd still take Godfrey to the final two over me?" Wisdom pressed.

"Damn, asking the hard hitters today," Virgil tsked. "I mean, shit, you'd take him to the end over me, too. Don't be pointing fingers at me like that."

"What makes you say that?" Wisdom scoffed. "You just assume that I'd take Godfrey to the end because we're closer?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Virgil questioned.

"Do you want to work together or not?" Wisdom asked.

"I do, but you're not making things easy right now," Virgil glowered.

"Hm, might I still subconsciously still see as you as my opposition due to our prior working dynamics?" Wisdom wondered.

"Well, you're aware of it. What are you going to do about it?" Virgil challenged. "Maybe not be dodgy and vague all the time and speak to me directly?"

"Huh?!" Wisdom gasped. "Is that really how you see me?"

"We've been playing this game for three weeks, and I don't think I've ever been entirely sure you weren't hiding something from me," Virgil said directly. "Granted, we haven't spoken a whole lot, but still. It's sketchy."

Wisdom looked to the ground anxiously, hugging her body.

"Strawberry?" Virgil prompted.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..." Wisdom's repetition devolved into choking through tears.

"You... You a'ight?" Virgil asked awkwardly. "You, uh... want some lemon wafers or something?"

Wisdom did not respond or even look Virgil in the eye.

"Alright, I'll just grab a bag and we can share, then," Virgil said as he left her alone.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Damn, I always knew I was a heartbreaker, but that was ridiculous. Honestly, I feel like she probably doesn't trust me at all, and I can't say I blame her, so I figured I'd take initiative by sharing some sweets with her. Still, what the hell was that? Is she that thin-skinned?

 **Wisdom:** My anxiety kicked me in the butt again, didn't it...? And I'd been doing such a good job keeping it at bay, hadn't I...? Do you think the fact that we're in the endgame has something to do with it...? Oh, what should I do...?

* * *

Godfrey and Hildegard ate breakfast by the campfire.

"May I inquire something of thee?" Hildegard asked.

"Oh, sure," Godfrey complied. "What's up?"

"What is thy take on Lady Ginger's soul?" Hildegard wondered. "Surely, as her creator, thou must have thought about it extensively."

"Her soul?" Godfrey asked, taken aback a bit. "Well, what's your definition of a soul? I think my answer will vary depending on what you mean."

This time, Hildegard was taken aback. "I suppose I'd thought little of mine own definition of a soul," she said. "How to put it into words...?"

"She's definitely able to think for herself, come up with her own ideas," Godfrey said a little too proudly. "She thinks, therefore she is, you know?"

"I meant more in terms of the afterlife," Hildegard clarified.

"Mm, that's a whole other beast," Godfrey said. "Technically, she isn't 'alive', so I can't imagine there's an afterlife for her. Unless she's reprogrammed specifically to believe she is in some sort of afterlife. Frankly, I'm not sure what a human afterlife entails, but I doubt the cosmic powers that be would take artificial intelligence into account."

"I warn thee not to speak in such a way to Lady Ginger. She doesn't like it," Hildegard mentioned.

"Yeah, she seemed very concerned about her own mortality the last time I spoke with her," Godfrey recalled. "I don't suppose you had anything to do with that."

"These things interest me," Hildegard said. "Of course, I am a Christian, so the logistics of how such ways may apply to someone like Lady Ginger intrigue me."

"Well, maybe if robots become populous enough, they can come to their own conclusion. I'm looking forward to the prospect, I'm not going to lie," Godfrey smiled. "Imagine, robots developing their own culture, communities, ideals. Obviously, human influence will be inescapable, but influence shapes culture, so..."

"How soon doth thou plan on creating more robots?" Hildegard asked.

"As soon as I can," Godfrey grinned. "Ideally, right after I win the prize money. And, hey, it won't just be me. Ginger is going to help. I may actually let her take the reins. I'm interested to see what ideas she has."

"Well, thou will have to rely on grant money if thy projects are to continue," Hildegard boasted. "For it is Lady Hildegard's holy party which will emerge from this war victoriously!"

"Haha. We'll see," Godfrey grinned. "Rhiannon may be the Big Kahuna, but don't think for a second that my allies and I won't be fighting our asses off."

"I'd expect nothing less at the final six!" Hildegard insisted. "But I prithee not to underestimate my holy party as well!"

"Well, may the best party win," Godfrey chuckled. "No, scratch that, may my party win. No, may I win." He grinned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** It only seems to me as though Godfrey is painfully aware of his inevitable defeat, and is simply convincing himself that he has a chance! Har! One of his alliance will surely fall tonight, and if it is not him, he will follow shortly thereafter!

 **Godfrey:** Huh, I never would have taken Hildegard as someone who's interested in the finer details of robot individualism, but it's an interesting topic, so I'll gladly talk about it with her. At least until she goes home... heh...

* * *

The six contestants met up with Chris at a special shrine away from camp. Chris stood at a lectern on a raised platform, while the six contestants all sat in a camp chair to either side of the area across the lectern.

"Welcome to the Sacrificial Lamb Ceremony!" Chris began. "On my cue, Rhiannon, our Big Kahuna, will select two of you to be Sacrificial Lambs. Those Lambs will sit in the Chairs of Ritual." Chris gestured to the two uncomfortable-looking wooden chairs to either side of where he stood. "At that point, Rhiannon, you can say whatever you want in regards to your decision or whatever. So, anyway, if you'd take the podium."

Chris stepped aside, and Rhiannon stood up and moved up to behind the lectern.

"Alright, well, uh, before I pick two people, I just want to say that none of this is personal, and-"

"Pick now, talk about how it's just a game move in a second," Chris interrupted Rhiannon.

"I choose Godfrey and Virgil to be my Sacrificial Lambs," Rhiannon gulped.

The boys nodded in understanding as they stood up and took their seats in the uncomfortable-looking chairs.

"As I was saying, I'm not choosing you as Sacrificial Lambs because I don't like you, because that is absolutely not the case," Rhiannon continued. "I just think this is the best-case scenario for my game going forward. We're at the final six, and options are limited. I hope neither of you takes it personally or think less of me for this decision. This is a strictly strategic move."

Silence.

"So, like, do I step down when I'm done, or...?" Rhiannon asked.

"Yeah," Chris confirmed.

Rhiannon returned to her seat.

"Thus concludes our Sacrificial Lamb Ceremony!" Chris announced. "We'll meet back up this afternoon for the Divine Intervention challenge!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** "Oh, it's not personal, I actually love you both with every fiber of my being." Give me a break. Cherry Pie and I have spoken maybe twice ever, and I know for a fact that she doesn't like Mystery Pop all that much. Ugh, anyway, now I guess I can either try and win Divine Intervention, or schmooze up to Top Banana and Spearmint and see if I can't get them to vote for Mystery Pop. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

 **Godfrey:** Yeah, this is about the outcome I expected once Rhiannon won Big Kahuna. On the plus side, I feel like Wisdom is more inclined to use Divine Intervention on me than on Virgil, but on the minus side, I feel like the others are more inclined to vote for me than for Virgil. I know Rhiannon and Shadya don't care for me, but I might be able to work over Hildegard. We have a common interest in Ginger's development, and I know she's voted against her allies in the past. It's worth a shot.

* * *

Virgil met up with Shadya away from camp after the ceremony had concluded.

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell lil' ol' me which way you're planning to vote tonight," Virgil mentioned casually.

"The vote is ideally for Godfrey," Shadya answered. "If he is saved with Divine Intervention, however, the target will be you."

"Well damn, I guess I'd better not let him win Divine Intervention. That might not go well for my game," Virgil chuckled. "Strawberry will probably use it on him, too."

"Why are you telling me what is already insultingly obvious?" Shadya asked impatiently.

"Well, I was going to build up to it, but I guess you're more of a straight shooter, eh?" Virgil smirked. "I'm willing to offer you final two."

"So are Hildegard and Rhiannon. What do you have to offer?" Shadya asked bluntly.

"Reese's cups?" Virgil offered half-jokingly. "Look, surely you must have figured out by now that, at the final six, people are going to be more keen to make big moves on threats. Spearmint's tried making moves against you before, right? And Cherry Pie is pretty smart, so I know she's figured out that you're dangerously close to actually winning."

"If you acknowledge that I'm winning, why would you offer to help me make it to the end?" Shadya asked suspiciously.

"Because I don't really have much else of a choice," Virgil told her. "Either me or Mystery Pop is going home tonight. If I do stay, where does that leave me? With Strawberry as my one ally? I might as well quit on the spot at that point. But I am willing to offer you my genuine loyalty going forward. People are going to be gunning for you as soon as they can, and I'm in a similar boat. We could use each other."

"If I say 'yes', will you stop bugging me about it?" Shadya sighed.

"Works for me," Virgil chuckled. He fished through his jacket pocket and pulled out an orange-wrapped candy. He tossed it to Shadya.

"You were serious about the Reese's?" Shadya asked, bemused.

"You'll get a Butterfinger if we make final two," Virgil coaxed.

"I don't eat candy," Shadya stated. "It holds no nutritional value, and I need to maintain my health in order to maintain my status as human perfection."

"Oh, that's a real thing. Well, that's... uh... something we'll just have to work around," Virgil smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Do I really intend to help Top Banana get to the end? _(He shrugs.)_ I'll do whatever I need to. It's a risky move, but it gets me to the final two, I still have a better chance of winning than I did before I made the deal.

 **Shadya:** It would be foolish of me to entirely dismiss the notion that Hildegard might try to turn on me. She has proven in the past that it is not something she would be averse to doing. Still, I sincerely doubt I can trust Virgil more than I can trust Hildegard. It's taken him this long to approach me.

* * *

Hildegard had gone out to collect firewood when Godfrey approached her.

"Hey! How's it going?" Godfrey asked.

"I am tasked with keeping us all warm tonight," Hildegard said. "Thou had best be grateful!"

"I am, don't worry," Godfrey played along. "Well, hey, I know we haven't had much of a chance to talk before, but now that we aren't confined to pairs, I feel like you and I could work well together."

"Is that so?" Hildegard asked. "Dost this mean that thou intend to join my holy party with Lady Rhiannon and Lady Shadya?"

"All I'm asking upfront is that, if you win Divine Intervention, maybe consider using it on me?" Godfrey offered. "If you end up as a Sacrificial Lamb in the future and I win Divine Intervention, I can promise that I will use it on you in return."

"How can I trust thee?" Hildegard pressed.

"Because I can't really rely on anyone else right now," Godfrey admitted. "Wisdom _might_ use it on me _if_ she wins, but that's a big if. And even if it is used on me, one of my allies will be going home and I will be in the minority. I think, if we were some kind of secret alliance, we could get a lot of work done. Maybe we could take out... people who could ultimately win this game instead of you."

"What art thou insinuating?" Hildegard narrowed her eyes.

"That the game is getting to the nitty-gritty, and we should keep our options open," Godfrey responded. "I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with, but I really do think this offer could benefit the both of us. I can talk to Rhiannon, too."

"Lady Rhiannon considers thee a villain," Hildegard mentioned.

"Do you?" Godfrey asked.

"...I can tell that thy intentions in doing what thou hast done to Lady Ginger were pure," Hildegard said. "Lady Rhiannon cannot see past the pain it caused to Lady Ginger."

"Would you be able to help me talk to her about it? I'd really like to bury the hatchet," Godfrey requested.

"If thou wisheth to join my holy party, thou shalt prove thyself!" Hildegard declined.

"Fair enough," Godfrey figured.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** Well, she doesn't seem completely against the idea of working with me. I guess I didn't outright say that I wanted to get rid of Shadya, but I feel like she could at least figure that much out. At least, I hope she did.

 **Hildegard:** I know not where Godfrey's sudden desire to be my closest ally comes from, but I do find it most odd. As for whether or not I shall humor his proposal, I was entirely truthful in what I said to him: If he can sway Lady Rhiannon, then maybe I shall consider it. It is not unheard of for villains to join the party late into the campaign.

* * *

Rhiannon and Wisdom ate lunch in the Tent of Banquets.

"Oh man, I'm so glad that this is just where we eat now," Rhiannon melted. "No more foraging or hunting for food, no more cooking, and this stuff is so much better than what we were making."

"It is nice, isn't it?" Wisdom smiled. "Do you think we'll get pizza?"

"I would kill for some pizza," Rhiannon swooned. "Heh, now that we said that, they'll probably hold off on pizza until the final two. Hopefully, I make it that far."

"Do you not think you will?" Wisdom asked.

"I think this game has proven time and time again that anything can happen at any moment," Rhiannon said. "Obviously, I really want to win, but I have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst."

"What could the worst be when you're the Big Kahuna?" Wisdom asked.

"Fair enough," Rhiannon chuckled.

"Well, what if I won Divine Intervention and used it on Godfrey or Virgil?" Wisdom continued. "You'd have to put up one of Hildegard or Shadya, right?"

"I know, I know," Rhiannon nodded. "Man, the whole 'Divine Intervention' thing really does make you have to think and overthink your strategy."

"At least it makes things less one-sided if your ally isn't the Big Kahuna, right?" Wisdom smiled.

"I guess I'll be grateful that I probably have the easiest run as Big Kahuna," Rhiannon mentioned.

"...I don't suppose you're still willing to work with me going forward?" Wisdom offered. "Remember how we talked about that before?"

"...Maybe," Rhiannon said honestly. "Do you have any plans?"

Wisdom shook her head. "Do you?"

"My current plan is to stick with my allies and vote you and your allies out," Rhiannon said point-blank. "And unless you have a better plan, I'm sticking to it."

Wisdom nodded in understanding. "If I vote how you want me to tonight, would you be willing to work with me? Or at least not work against me?"

"That's... kind of basic strategy, hon," Rhiannon said as nicely as she could. "That's already an unspoken agreement."

Wisdom nodded disappointedly.

"Look, I'm not saying never," Rhiannon told her. "Things can always change, especially depending on what happens tonight, both the elimination and the Big Kahuna challenge."

"Is that so...?" Wisdom muttered to herself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** You really should never say never in this game, but I'm going to be frank: I'm not sure Wisdom has a lot to offer me right now. I guess I could always discuss plans with Hildegard further, but I don't know.

 **Wisdom:** I really need to prove my worth to the others, don't I? The time for lying low has passed, huh? Well, what if I won Divine Intervention? Don't you think I might have some clout then?

* * *

The final six met up with Chris away from camp. Near the group were six booths, each right next to each other, which each had a lectern with a rotating block upon it.

"Good afternoon, contestants!" Chris announced. "Today's Divine Intervention challenge is going to test how well you remember the order of events in this game. I'm going to be asking several Before or After questions, and all you have to do is spin your block to show me either 'Before' or 'After' as your answer. If you get it right, you get a point. Whoever has the highest number of points will win Divine Intervention. I'll explain what will happen in the event of a tie if that occurs. Any questions?"

"Are raviolis just tiny calzones?" Wisdom asked.

"No," Chris answered.

"Will this be stuff that anyone on any team would be able to know?" Godfrey asked.

"You'll see," Chris chuckled. "Screw it, let's just get the challenge underway. It couldn't be simpler; I'm not sure why I bothered to ask if you had questions."

"What differentiates a ravioli from a calzone apart from size?" Wisdom asked.

"Just take your spots," Chris sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** A memory challenge, eh? Damn, Blueberry would have killed in this one. He and I would talk a lot about what had happened in the game so far, so maybe I could still have a leg up on the others.

 **Hildegard:** Alas, this is not the sort of game in which one saves their progress by writing in a journal. I'd not thought to do so, given that the whole event is televised anyway. I do hope my memory won't fail me now!

* * *

The six contestants each took their spot behind one of the lecterns. Chris stood across from them.

"Alright, question one:" Chris began. "The first unanimous vote in the game occurred before or after all four original teams voted someone out."

Godfrey, Hildegard, Rhiannon, Shadya, and Virgil all answered 'Before'. Wisdom answered 'After'.

"The correct answer is... Before!" Chris confirmed. "Kirkland was voted out unanimously the night before Team I Don't Know voted out Hiram. Everyone but Wisdom gets one point."

"Why did I think Liberty had voted to keep Kirkland?" Wisdom scolded herself.

"Question two:" Chris continued. "All twenty-four contestants received at least one vote before or after the game shuffled over to Apoy Island."

Hildegard and Shadya answered 'Before'. Godfrey, Rhiannon, Virgil, and Wisdom all answered 'After'.

"The correct answer is... After!" Chris revealed. "Virgil did not receive any votes before Apoy Island."

"Hell yeah, a question I couldn't get wrong," Virgil boasted casually.

"Godfrey, Rhiannon, Virgil, and Wisdom all get a point," Chris said. "Question three: the first instance of someone competing in their second duel came before or after Steve Jenkins was eliminated."

Everybody answered 'Before'.

"And the correct answer is... Before!" Chris confirmed. "Dean and Gretchen both competed in their second duel before Steve Jenkins left the game. Everyone gets a point."

"That one was pretty easy, huh?" Wisdom giggled.

"Godfrey, Rhiannon, and Virgil are all in the lead with three points each," Chris mentioned. "Hildegard, Shadya, and Wisdom are all pretty close with two points each, though. It's anyone's challenge."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I cannot believe that not bothering to remember whether or not Virgil had received any votes before the merge has put me in last place in this challenge. Utterly ridiculous.

* * *

"Question four:" Chris began. "Each member of The Best Team received at least one vote before or after each member of the Knights of Goodness received at least one vote."

After some consideration, Godfrey and Virgil and Hildegard, Rhiannon, Shadya, and Wisdom all answered 'After'.

"The answer is... 'After'!" Chris announced. "Ginger and Jeremy received their first votes the day after Liberty and Rhiannon received their first votes! Hildegard, Rhiannon, Shadya, and Wisdom all get a point!"

"I still have no idea why I got that one vote," Rhiannon mentioned.

"Have you gotten any votes since?" Virgil asked.

"The Yellow Pair did, if that counts," Rhiannon said.

"Question five:" Chris continued. "Roxie sat out of a challenge on Whenua Island before or after Jeremy."

Hildegard, Virgil, and Wisdom all answered 'Before'. Godfrey, Rhiannon, and Shadya all answered 'After'.

"The correct answer is... 'After'!" Chris revealed. "Jeremy sat out of the capture-the-bear challenge, and Roxie sat out of the talent show the day after. Godfrey, Rhiannon, and Shadya each get a point!"

"The capture-the-bear challenge was entirely luck-based," Shadya snorted.

"I wonder how my old pal the bear is doing," Virgil mused.

"Question six:" Chris prompted. "The first three-way vote on the Brilliant Beaches happened before or after the first three-way vote on the Tough Tundras."

Hildegard, Rhiannon, Shadya, and Wisdom all answered 'Before'. Godfrey and Virgil all answered 'After'.

"The correct answer is... 'Before'!" Chris confirmed. "The second round of Kairi Island saw a three-way vote between Gretchen, Nestor, and Steve Jenkins. The Tough Tundras' first three-way vote wasn't until the day after - against Rhiannon, Shadya, and Wisdom."

"I'm going to be honest, I completely forgot that first Gretchen vote was a three-way split," Virgil admitted.

"Yeah, me too," Godfrey tsked.

"Rhiannon is in the lead with six points out of six!" Chris announced. "Shadya is right behind her with five, Godfrey, Hildegard, and Wisdom have four, and Virgil has three."

"Truly unfortunate," Virgil commented.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** Between you and me, about half of my right answers have been guesses. But if winning this challenge means that I'd get to keep complete control of who the Sacrificial Lambs are, I certainly wouldn't complain. _(She smiles.)_

* * *

"Question seven:" Chris continued. "The first instance of two boys being eliminated back-to-back happened before or after the first instance of two girls being eliminated back-to-back."

Everyone answered 'After'.

"The correct answer is 'After'!" Chris confirmed. "Tegan and Rowan were eliminated before Kirkland and Hiram. Everyone gets a point!"

"The standings do not change!" Hildegard noted.

"But will that remain the case?" Wisdom mused.

"Question eight:" Chris announced. "The first instance of someone getting votes in consecutive elimination ceremonies occurred before or after the shuffle to Kairi Island."

"Does 'consecutive' count if a team won Invincibility between votes?" Wisdom asked.

"It is kind of vague," Godfrey agreed.

"I'll say no more," Chris informed them.

Hildegard, Virgil, and Wisdom answered 'Before'. Godfrey, Rhiannon, and Shadya answered 'After'.

"Another even split!" Chris pointed out. "The correct answer is... 'Before'! Both Kirkland and Gretchen received votes in both eliminations they attended before the shuffle. Hildegard, Virgil, and Wisdom each get a point!"

"I will not be penalized because you couldn't word the question better," Shadya glowered.

"You _will_ be penalized if you keep giving me crap. Hehaha," Chris warned.

Shadya's grip on her rotating block tightened until it began to crack.

"Question nine:" Chris continued. "The first person to be eliminated with at least ten overall votes against them was eliminated before or after the shuffle to Apoy Island."

Hildegard, Shadya, Virgil, and Wisdom all answered 'Before'. Godrey and Rhiannon answered 'After'.

"The correct answer is... 'Before'!" Chris revealed. "Dean had 11 votes to his name when he was eliminated, right before the shuffle to Apoy Island! Hildegard, Shadya, Virgil, and Wisdom all got it right!"

"I didn't realize he had that many votes against him," Rhiannon scolded herself.

"Did you even meet him? I'm surprised it was only eleven," Virgil jibed.

"Hildegard, Rhiannon, Shadya, and Wisdom all have seven points each," Chris recapped. "Virgil has six and Godfrey has five."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** So I've got no hope of winning this challenge. Awesome. I guess I can only pray that Wisdom wins it. _Maybe_ Hildegard, too, but, let's be real, she's probably not going to save me. _(He sighs.)_

* * *

"Question ten:" Chris began. "The last person to be eliminated without ever voting in the majority went home before or after the shuffle to Kairi Island."

Godfrey, Hildegard, Rhiannon, Virgil, and Wisdom all answered 'Before'. Shadya answered 'After'.

"The correct answer is..." Chris began.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"'Before'! Louise was the last person to be eliminated without ever voting in the majority!" Chris revealed. "Hildegard, Rhiannon, and Wisdom all have eight points. Time for a tiebreaker."

"What's the tiebreaker?" Wisdom asked.

"Not asking questions. You lose!" Chris laughed. "Kidding. Each of you will find a small whiteboard and dry-erase marker below your lectern. I'll ask you a math question, and you'll have five seconds to write what you think the answer is. The person who's closest to getting it right without going over the correct answer will win Divine Intervention."

Hildegard, Rhiannon, and Wisdom all nodded in understanding.

"Your question is as follows..." Chris began. "How many votes were cast on Whenua Island?"

The girls all counted in their heads as best as they could.

"Three... two... one!" Chris counted down. "Your answers, please!"

Hildegard answered 27, Rhiannon answered 34, Wisdom answered 24.

"We have a winner!" Chris announced. "Congratulations, Rhiannon! You have won Divine Intervention this round!"

"Nice!" Rhiannon cheered.

"I'll see you guys this evening for the Divine Intervention ceremony!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** This is great! Things are going smoothly, and someone from the other alliance is going home tonight. Now, what am I going to tell the boys when they inevitably try to negotiate with me...?

 **Wisdom:** Did I just screw over my entire alliance? Was being too short in a timed math question the thing that will doom us all? W-We can still recover, right? It's not over until it's over, right?

* * *

Not long after the contestants were dismissed, Virgil approached Rhiannon.

"Hey, Cherry Pie. How goes it?" Virgil greeted.

"Virgil, I'm sorry, but I'm not using Divine Intervention," Rhiannon told him.

"That's not a very good way to approach this," Virgil frowned. "If you aren't willing to even listen to me, let alone work with me, I'll have no choice but to see you as my priority target."

"Assuming you're still here after tonight," Rhiannon told him.

"I talked to Top Banana. She told me Mystery Pop was the target," Virgil relayed. "If there's one thing I know about Top Banana, it's that she's brutally honest. If it was me, she probably would have told me, and then added something about 'I don't care if you know, because there's nothing you can do to stop me'."

"And let me guess: you tried making a deal with her, too?" Rhiannon guessed cynically.

"I _succeeded_ in making a deal with her," Virgil emphasized. "And that deal could include you, too, if you were willing to prove that you're open to ideas."

"Virgil, sweetie, I don't have to prove anything to you," Rhiannon frowned, annoyed. "You're the one whose neck is on the line, and I'm the one with the power to save you."

"Talk to Top Banana if you don't believe me, then. I don't know," Virgil shrugged. "If you want to make her mad by not going with the plan, then by all means."

"I hope you don't think that condescending to me is going to make me _more_ inclined to work with you," Rhiannon said flatly.

"And what if I win Big Kahuna tonight?!" Virgil grunted. "I could very easily just have you as a Sacrificial Lamb without giving it a second thought."

"That's what I already assumed would happen," Rhiannon sighed.

"And you're just okay with that?!" Virgil snapped. "There is zero guarantee that Top Banana or Spearmint would go home over you. You are a pretty big threat in your own right, you know that? You're okay with just throwing your game away at final five?"

"There's zero guarantee that I'll go home over them, either. Hell, there's no guarantee that you or Wisdom will even win Big Kahuna!" Rhiannon shouted. "I'm not arguing with you, Virgil."

"Because you have no argument against me," Virgil grunted. "What an embarrassing way for you to lose. After you'd come so far."

"I could say the same to you." Rhiannon folded her arms.

"Well, may the better of us win," Virgil said bitterly as he stuck a lollipop in his mouth.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** How entitled can you get?! He walks up to me claiming that I should just make a deal with him and save him with Divine Intervention, and then acts like _I'm_ the one who's bad at the game because I won't accept a hollow proposal that's only going to benefit him! And then he has the gall to threaten me! Yeah, no, I'm not using Divine Intervention on you, hon.

 **Virgil:** If Cherry Pie thinks that refusing to listen to people is going to do her a lick of good in this game, she's going to be in for a rude awakening. I don't care how strong her allies are supposed to be, nothing is guaranteed in this game. That was proven pretty clearly to me when Jimmy Beans and Licorice peaced out of the game before we even had our first shuffle. Ah well. I _will_ regain power, and I _will_ deal with Cherry Pie as soon as I do. Count on it.

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Godfrey had brought some firewood back to camp to find Rhiannon lounging in the shelter.

"Enjoying absolute, all-encompassing power?" Godfrey joked.

"I'm trying," Rhiannon sighed. "Godfrey, I'm not going to use Divine Intervention."

"Does that mean I can't talk to you at all?" Godfrey winced.

"What do you want, Godfrey?" Rhiannon asked wearily.

"To help us get to the final three," Godfrey said.

"The final three, specifically?" Rhiannon asked.

"Oh, 'us' doesn't just mean you and me. I'm including Hildegard in this as well," Godfrey explained.

"Since when have you and Hildegard been close?" Rhiannon doubted.

"Since earlier today," Godfrey said. "Well, we aren't 'close', obviously, but she said that she'd be willing to consider my final three deal if you were on board."

"Is that so?" Rhiannon asked.

"...I don't have many options going forward," Godfrey confessed. "Assuming I survive tonight, Virgil will be going home, and then what? Wisdom and I get picked off back-to-back, most likely."

"And you'll be a more valuable ally to me and Hildegard than Shadya is?" Rhiannon pressed.

"I'll be an easier-to-beat ally," Godfrey told her. "Shadya is and has always been a massive threat. I'd dare say that the reason she made it through the last two islands is that people knew that she could win a duel - and she did. And she'll keep winning challenges, especially when we're so close to the finish line. And yes, I know she didn't win Big Kahuna or Divine Intervention. This time. How confident are you that you can keep beating her?"

"Well, you're better at selling the idea than Virgil was," Rhiannon chuckled. "I'm still not going to use Divine Intervention."

"I never expected you to," Godfrey assured her. "...You were friends with Ginger, right?"

"I'd appreciate it if you left her out of this," Rhiannon glared.

"I... Fair enough," Godfrey conceded. "You're right; this doesn't concern her. This is about you, me, Hildegard, and the game. I'm not expecting a hard 'yes' or 'no' right away. In fact, I implore you to talk to Hildegard about it. I think we could really get something done, here."

"I might," Rhiannon said definitively.

"That's all I can really ask," Godfrey said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** On one hand, Godfrey does make a few decent points about the game going forward. On the other hand, the fact that he's even getting me to consider this a little makes him kind of a threat in his own right, not to mention that I don't particularly care for him to begin with.

 **Godfrey:** It's tough. I need to be able to convince Rhiannon effectively to consider working with me without sounding too demanding or too limp about it. I need to make her feel like I'm an asset and not just a bigger target. I'm not sure how well I did, but I did what I could, and that's what matters.

* * *

Hildegard, Shadya, and Wisdom ate in the Tent of Banquets that evening.

"Let us dine upon the spoils of our perseverance and fortitude!" Hildegard declared as she held her cup aloft.

"This is not perseverance and fortitude. Setting the world record for most consecutive push-ups for women 18 and under takes perseverance and fortitude," Shadya said flatly.

"What's your record?" Wisdom asked.

"One-hundred-and-eight," Shadya said casually. "...Or, no, that might have been my chin-up record. I've set so many records that it can be tough to keep track of them all."

"I'm surprised thy memory fails thee so," Hildegard commented.

"My memory does not fail me. It is simply dedicating itself to more important things," Shadya glowered.

"Like whether or not Virgil got any votes before the merge?" Wisdom giggled.

"Like the eight human and three coding languages in which I am fluent," Shadya growled.

"You speak eight languages?" Wisdom asked, surprised. "How come I've never heard you speak anything but English?"

"I have no reason to. We all speak English." Shadya stated. "If I were playing this game in Mexico, I would be speaking entirely in Spanish."

"Knowest thou any Danish?" Hildegard wondered. "I've considered taking up the language myself. I've been to Denmark many times to visit my grandparents!"

"I can't imagine why you wouldn't have already attempted to learn it if it's such a priority for you," Shadya said.

"'Tis a recent ambition!" Hildegard insisted.

"If you haven't accomplished it, then it must not be something you really want to accomplish that much," Shadya dismissed.

"What if she were partway through accomplishing it?" Wisdom asked.

"She isn't," Shadya responded.

"But what if she was?" Wisdom looped. "Languages take a long time for people to learn, right?"

"For most people, maybe," Shadya acknowledged.

"And what makes thee so special?" Hildegard scoffed.

"I'm going to take that as a rhetorical question," Shadya said nonchalantly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** I cannot fathom how these two have known me for as long as they have and are still in disbelief at my accomplishments. I am human perfection. It cannot possibly be that hard to understand.

 **Hildegard:** 'If thou hasn't accomplished something, then dost thou truly want it?' An interesting question indeed! One that I cannot say doesn't have a nugget of truth to it. Of course, I could do without Lady Shadya's attitude of acting as though she is above us! She is but mortal, as are we all!

 **Wisdom:** What do you think is the world record for the fastest time learning a language? And at what point is a language considered learned? What is the threshold of fluency? Do you think Shadya might know any of these things?

* * *

Twilight shone over Makani Island. Godfrey and Virgil sat in their seats on the raised platform, while Chris stood behind the lectern.

"Welcome, one and all, to the Divine Intervention ceremony!" Chris announced. "Rhiannon, you have won the power of Divine Intervention, and you can use it to save one of the Sacrificial Lambs from the slaughter! In doing so, the Big Kahuna - that'd be you as well - will have to choose a replacement Sacrificial Lamb. It is time to make your decision."

Chris stepped away from the lectern, prompting Rhiannon to make her way up. She took notice of a small bowl of water atop the lectern.

"Is the bowl of water important?" Rhiannon asked.

"Oh, that's right! That is the Holy Water through which Divine Intervention will be bestowed," Chris explained. "If you wish, you may baptize your chosen Sacrificial Lamb by sprinkling him with the water."

"This seems reverently dubious at best!" Hildegard interjected.

"With all that said, the floor is yours, Rhiannon!" Chris prompted.

Rhiannon took a deep breath.

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She picked up the small bowl, walked up to Godfrey, and sprinkled some water onto him.

"I call upon the power of Divine Intervention to save Godfrey," Rhiannon declared.

"'Not using Divine Intervention', huh?" Virgil spat.

"I was not made privy of this decision!" Shadya snapped.

"Thank you, Rhiannon," Godfrey said, fighting back tears.

Godfrey rose from his seat and joined the other three contestants in a camp chair.

"As Big Kahuna, I also have to choose a new Sacrificial Lamb to replace Godfrey. I choose..." Rhiannon began.

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"Shadya," Rhiannon stated.

Everyone's eyes went wide.

"Excuse me?" Shadya scoffed.

"Shadya has been chosen to replace Godfrey as a Sacrificial Lamb!" Chris cemented. "Shadya, if you'll take your seat."

Shadya sat still for a few seconds before ultimately complying, standing up and making her way to the uncomfortable wooden chair next to Virgil.

"Shadya, I need you to realize that you have not done anything wrong that led me to make this decision," Rhiannon said. "But at the end of the day, this is a game, and we all want to win. This might be the last chance anyone has to get rid of a massive threat, and I'd be a fool not to take it."

"I will refute everything you just said after the ceremony is over," Shadya glowered.

"Actually, with all that said, the ceremony has concluded!" Chris announced. "I'll see you all tonight for the elimination ceremony followed immediately by the Big Kahuna challenge!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I can't believe my pitch to Rhiannon actually worked. Like, I am actually in disbelief that I just got saved by someone with whom I've had practically zero relationship all game. It feels kind of like I'm being punked or something, but if it means I've got another day in this game, I'll gladly take it.

 **Shadya:** I have run through several dozen possibilities as to why Rhiannon would make such an astronomically stupid move. She claimed that she was simply dealing with a threat, but surely she's too smart to put me up as a Sacrificial Lamb on those grounds alone. Haha. Working around this will be tedious. I'll have to scold Rhiannon for this thoroughly.

* * *

Rhiannon and Shadya stayed at the shrine after the Divine Intervention ceremony.

"In order:" Shadya cleared her throat. "I have done something wrong: trusting you to make good decisions. None of you want to win this game as much as I do. You would have had plenty of chances to eliminate me if you were to continue attempting to do so. And you are a fool for doing the one thing that put my trust in Hildegard below my trust in you."

"Shadya, look," Rhiannon sighed. "Ginger proposed this idea a few days ago before she was eliminated. I think the world of you, Shadya, but I could benefit so, so much from winning this game, and that would be so much harder for me to do if you're still here."

"Throwing someone who isn't here under the bus. Come on Rhiannon, you're better than that," Shadya grunted.

"I don't know what I could tell you that would possibly satisfy you!" Rhiannon cried. "I'm making a risky game move that I think is worth the risk. I'm sorry, Shadya! I hope we can be friends after this!"

"You speak as though I am going home," Shadya snorted. "All I need to do is convince Godfrey or Wisdom to keep me. Wisdom has expressed interest in working with me in the past. Your schemes will not succeed."

"I really wish you'd stop talking to me like I'm your enemy," Rhiannon quavered.

"You made a move which could only harm my chances of winning this game. You are my enemy," Shadya said. "This was an active choice on your part. You could have continued _not_ putting me in danger. You had every opportunity to _not_ save Godfrey, and you had a million chances to _not_ choose me as a Sacrificial Lamb. And yet you did so anyway. That is not something an ally does."

"Well, if you don't trust me, and you don't trust Hildegard, then you're all out of people to trust!" Rhiannon pointed out. "That's going to leave you without many votes to keep you tonight!"

"You really do underestimate me." Shadya shook her head. "If you wanted to lose the game this badly, you might as well have just quit and saved us all some time."

"You aren't invincible, Shadya," Rhiannon sighed.

"I am human perfection. That's about as close to invincibility as one can get." Shadya spat in the dirt before walking away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Shadya:** All I'll need is a chat with Godfrey and Wisdom. Maybe I should check in with Hildegard, too. Apparently, trusting anyone in this game to do the bare minimum of intelligent thought is assuming too much.

 **Rhiannon:** _(She is crying.)_ I knew this was going to upset her, but... Oh my god, Rhiannon, pull yourself together. Ugh, the worst part is that she probably could get the votes to stay. She only needs to votes against Virgil. Oh my god, I just shot myself in the foot, didn't I? My game really is screwed. I'm such a fucking idiot!

* * *

Godfrey and Virgil sat in the shelter.

"So, I doubt I need to ask, but you're voting for Top Banana, right?" Virgil asked.

"Of course," Godfrey nodded. "I did tell Hildegard and Rhiannon that I'd vote for you if Rhiannon used Divine Intervention on me, but obviously that's not happening."

"Damn, you actually got her to use it on you," Virgil tsked. "Evidently, my skills in persuasion need work."

"You need some level of understanding in psychology if you're going to write incredibly advanced AI," Godfrey boasted. 'But no, I'm honestly as shocked as you are that Rhiannon saved me, let alone put Shadya up to replace me."

"Mm," Virgil nodded. "Hey, on the plus side, this means that you, Strawberry, and I have the majority next round."

"But that might not matter if none of us wins Big Kahuna," Godfrey figured.

"What good is thinking that negatively going to do us?" Virgil pointed out.

"Fair enough," Godfrey smiled. "...Man, final five."

"I know," Virgil smirked. "Kind of wild how far we've made it when so many other people have bitten it."

"It's been work to get this far, but man... if one of us can pull this off..." Godfrey mused.

"It's been mostly luck for me, but yeah, I'm definitely here to win," Virgil chuckled.

"What would you do with the money?" Godfrey asked. "We all know what I'd do, but what about you?"

"I'll figure something out," Virgil said. "I've got a couple half-baked ideas, but nothing concrete, you dig?"

"I dig," Godfrey nodded. "It makes you think, huh? All twenty-four of us probably had some idea of what we wanted to do with the money if we won."

"Jimmy Beans has a pregnant girlfriend, Gretchen wants to get an operation done, hell, maybe Fred Vines could have paid for some way to fix his eyes. Has science gone that far yet?" Virgil asked.

"If I could manufacture eyes for Ginger, then maybe," Godfrey figured. "I'm not sure how well the technology would work on a human brain, though. My knowledge of human biology is very limited, relatively speaking."

"Well, if you don't win this, it sounds like you'll probably be making billions anyway," Virgil shrugged. "Care to throw it to a guy who won't be?"

"You don't even have concrete plans for the money," Godfrey jibed.

"They're, like... cement plans. They're going to be concrete eventually," Virgil said, clearly not believing what he was saying.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Whatever happens tonight, I'm glad I've at least got one person I can trust a hundred percent out here. After Blueberry left, I wasn't so sure, but Mystery Pop's alright, too. I probably ought to touch base with Strawberry, just in case. Our relationship ain't the best, you feel me? Better safe than sorry.

 **Godfrey:** Winning this money will be life-changing for whoever manages to pull it off. Damn, I do feel kind of bad that so many of us won't be getting that life-changing opportunity, but that's the game we signed up for. I can't start feeling guilty again. Not when we're so close to the end.

* * *

Hildegard and Wisdom met up away from camp.

"How now, young Wisdom?" Hildegard prompted. "About what couldst thou possibly need to speak with me?"

"Well, Rhiannon clearly has some sort of plan if she's put Shadya as a Sacrificial Lamb, right?" Wisdom began. "I don't suppose you're in on this plan?"

"Lady Rhiannon and I have a close working relationship. Of course, we discussed this!" Hildegard insisted.

"But are you going to vote for Shadya?" Wisdom asked.

Hildegard froze.

"You're going to stay loyal to her?" Wisdom guessed.

"I did not say that! Do not put words into my mouth!" Hildegard shouted.

"Well, would you be willing to let me know which way you plan on voting?" Wisdom inquired. "If we vote together, we'll be the majority either way, right? Maybe we could continue working together afterward? Wouldn't that be something?"

"Dost thou taketh me for a fool?!" Hildegard scoffed. "I know thou worketh closely with Godfrey! I bet that thou art simply trying to trick me into telling you what to do so that the two of thee can vote the other way!"

"What good is just sticking with Godfrey going to do me?" Wisdom asked rhetorically. "Wouldn't it make more sense to expand one's opportunities? Especially at this point in the game? Every relationship matters, you know? Why not make good use of what we can do?"

"How would it benefit me?" Hildegard challenged.

"Weren't you listening? It's a free majority, right?" Wisdom winced. "And one less person to make you a Sacrificial Lamb if I won Big Kahuna, you know?"

"Can thou guarantee that?" Hildegard doubted. "Whomst else wouldst thou select?"

"Well, that all depends on who goes home tonight, doesn't it?" Wisdom figured.

"I shall think about it," Hildegard sighed. "Surely thou understandeth the weight of such a decision."

Wisdom nodded. "I think this could really work, you know? Let me know soon? We're voting in the not-too-distant future, right?"

"I will let thee know," Hildegard complied

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** So now young Wisdom is making deals. Or, at least, deals that may be worth considering. I did not think I would be in such a position of unsureness coming into this vote, and yet, here I am.

 **Wisdom:** Hm, I suppose Hildegard could still lie to me about how she's going to vote, huh? But why would she? What good would putting herself in the minority do? Unless... she's making deals with Godfrey, too? Should I talk to Godfrey? But then I'd have to tell him I was going behind his back, huh? Should I just not overthink this? I probably shouldn't, huh?

* * *

Night had fallen, and the final six had gathered at the shrine. Chris stood at the lectern, and Shadya and Virgil sat in the seats behind him.

"Welcome to the elimination ceremony!" Chris announced. "In just a few minutes, Godfrey, Hildegard, and Wisdom will cast their votes to eliminate either Shadya or Virgil! Before that happens, though, I'm going to let both of the Sacrificial Lambs plead their case to those voting. Give one last speech that might change their minds. Virgil, you can go first."

"Shoot, I didn't really think of anything to say," Virgil admitted as he stood up. "Well, if I'm arguing why you should not vote for me and vote for Top Banana, it seems kind of obvious. Top Banana has had non-stop control over this game, and even when she hasn't been in complete control, either her allies have, or she's found a way to keep herself safe anyway. I don't doubt she's probably going to give a hell of a speech pleading her case. As for me, I'm, like... I was in the minority in my first two votes, and I would have been voted off if the Lollipops had lost more than twice. I'm not going to be any threat to you. I... guess that's it. Get rid of Top Banana while you still have a chance to."

Virgil sat back down.

"Thank you, Virgil. Shadya, your turn!" Chris grinned.

Shadya stood up. "Hildegard, even despite your past actions against me, I have remained loyal to you and have kept you from any sort of danger. The last time you were in any remote danger of going home was in the first vote on Kairi Island, where I helped eliminate your rival Kun instead. I will continue to keep you safe in this game if you vote to keep me. Godfrey and Wisdom, the very instant Virgil was selected as a Sacrificial Lamb, he approached me in an attempt to keep himself safe, claiming he was willing to throw you both to the wolves if it kept him in the game." She pulled a Reese's cup out of his pocket. "I believe this will serve as proof enough that this claim is truthful. Virgil, I'm afraid, is not someone you two can trust. That is all."

Shadya sat back down.

"Alrighty!" Chris began. "With that being said, it is now time to begin the voting period! Just like on Whenua Island, votes will be cast in the confessional booth. Hildegard, you may begin."

Hildegard stood up from her chair and made her way to the confessional booth close by.

* * *

After all three votes were cast, Chris returned to the lectern upon the stage.

"The votes have been cast!" Chris announced. "And..."

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"By a unanimous vote, Shadya, you have been eliminated!" Chris announced.

Shadya threw up in her mouth and forced it back down.

"Never joke about that again!" Shadya snapped.

"No joke, I'm afraid. I can show you the voting confessionals," Chris offered.

Shadya pinched her arm forcefully. "Why am I not waking up?!"

"It's not a dream, either. You've lost, girl. Hehaha," Chris laughed.

"Laugh at me again. I dare you!" Shadya shouted.

"If you'll just follow me. The rest of you can come to see her off, too," Chris said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** This was my decision, and I will stand by it, but it really sucks seeing Shadya so upset. She's going to find success in other ways, though, I know it. _(After a pause, she buries her face in her hands and lets out a heavy sigh.)_

* * *

Chris led Shadya and the final five to a pulley system at the edge of the plateau. A shoddy-looking wooden box was attached

"This is the Elevator of Losers!" Chris announced. "As it happens, the bottom of Makani Island is also where we've been keeping everyone who's been eliminated from the game! And since we aren't really at sea level, this is how we'll be sending you to join them, Shadya!"

"I will be doing no such thing," Shadya scoffed. "I am human perfection! Sixth place is six places too low!"

"Were you expecting zeroth place?" Virgil snickered.

"I have earned the right to place higher than first!" Shadya insisted.

"In a different game, maybe, but here, it's the end of the line for you," Chris chuckled. "Hey, is that an African swallow?" he pointed behind Shadya.

"Ridiculous. African swallows wouldn't migrate to- AH!"

Shadya turned around to where Chris pointed, only for her to push her into the box, which immediately began its descent down to the bottom of the mountain.

"Well then..." Chris turned back to the contestants. "How about that Big Kahuna challenge? Let's get that going!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Hildegard:** Truthfully, I had always intended to vote for Lady Shadya! I spake with good Lady Jessica, and we agreed that this was indeed the time to take power for ourselves! The others are all keen to work with us, so I feel safe in voting for Lady Shadya!

 **Wisdom:** Hildegard says she's going to vote for Shadya, huh? Well, even if she doesn't, it's not like Godfrey would be against the idea, huh? Why not get rid of such a big threat like Shadya?

 **Godfrey:** Yeah, Virgil went behind my back, but I went behind his back, too, so it's not like I can exactly blame him. We were both in pretty bad positions. Besides, if Shadya leaves, any deal he made with her still won't apply, and I could always trust him more than Shadya anyway, so I vote for Shadya.

* * *

The final five met Chris at a giant dartboard that had been constructed during the elimination ceremony away from the shrine. Godfrey, Hildegard, Virgil, and Wisdom all stood near Chris with three color-coded lawn darts next to each of them, while Rhiannon sat in a camp chair nearby.

"Welcome to your Big Kahuna challenge!" Chris announced. "Rhiannon, as the outgoing Big Kahuna, you cannot compete in this challenge and will not be the Big Kahuna this next round."

"Kind of wish I knew that earlier, but okay," Rhiannon muttered.

"Anyway, this one's really simple," Chris began. "Each of the four of you has three lawn darts, and each of you will take turns lobbing yours at this big ol' target, here. Each of you has a different color to make it easy to keep track of scores: Godfrey has blue, Hildegard has yellow, Virgil has red, and Wisdom has green. Each ring in the big dartboard, of course, has different point values. White is 1 point, black is 3 points, blue is 5 points, red is 7 points, and the yellow bulls-eye is 10 points. Whoever has the highest combined score between the four of you will be the new Big Kahuna. Ties will be broken with one additional throw each. I finally know better than to ask if there are any questions, so let's begin!"

"Do mermaids give mammalian birth or do they lay fish eggs?" Wisdom asked.

"One of these days, Wisdom..." Chris sighed. "Virgil, start us off!"

Virgil took a lawn dart, stood behind the designated line, and tossed it. The dart landed in the black ring.

"Three points!" Chris announced. "Hildegard, your turn!"

"Good as the best!" Hildegard declared as she threw her first dart, which landed in the blue ring.

"Hildegard takes the lead with five points!" Chris announced. "Wisdom!"

Wisdom threw her dart, and it landed in the blue.

"Wisdom with five points!" Chris announced.

"Not bad, huh?" Wisdom smiled modestly.

"Godfrey, your first dart," Chris urged.

Godfrey threw his dart, and it landed in the blue ring.

"Five for Godfrey!" Chris announced. "Looping it back around to Virgil!"

"Come on, big doinks, no whammies..." Virgil told himself as he threw his second dart, which landed in the red space.

"Seven points for Virgil, bringing his total to ten!" Chris commented. "Hildegard!"

"Aaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!" With a battle cry, Hildegard threw her second dart, which landed in the blue.

"Five points, bringing Hildegard up to ten points as well!" Chris said. "Wisdom?"

Wisdom threw her second dart, which landed in the red.

"And that brings Wisdom's total up to seventeen," Chris nodded. "Godfrey."

Godfrey threw his dart, which landed in the bulls-eye.

"Ten points! That brings Godfrey up to fifteen!" Chris announced. "Alright, the last darts for everyone. Virgil, make it count!"

Virgil gave his dart a kiss before throwing it.

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The dart landed in the red.

"Seven points, bringing your final total to seventeen!" Chris announced.

"Tsk," Virgil reacted.

Hildegard, without even being told, threw her dart.

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The dart landed in the blue.

"Five points! This brings Hildegard's total up to fifteen, meaning she is out of the running!" Chris announced.

"Surely my proficiency with the lance should have aided me!" Hildegard objected.

"My turn, right?" Wisdom had taken her final dart and threw it.

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The dart landed in the bulls-eye.

"Ten points! Bringing Wisdom up to twenty-two and knocking Virgil out of the running!" Chris announced. "This is Godfrey's final dart. If he lands in the red, he ties with Wisdom and we go to a tiebreaker throw. If he lands in the bulls-eye, he wins Big Kahuna. If he lands anywhere else, Wisdom wins Big Kahuna."

"No pressure," Godfrey joked nervously. He took a deep breath before throwing his dart.

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The dart landed in the black.

"Three points! That is not enough! Congratulations, Wisdom! You are our new Big Kahuna!"

"Wait, really?!" Wisdom gasped. "How did that happen?"

"Good job, Strawberry," Virgil complemented.

"Yeah, nice work," Godfrey nodded.

"Well done, sweet Wisdom," Hildegard acknowledged.

"You've earned it," Rhiannon smiled.

"That's all I have for you tonight," Chris said. "Wisdom, enjoy your safety and power. Everyone else, stay on your toes. Hehaha. Night!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I'd be lying if I said I didn't half-ass that last throw. I want to keep up my trust with Wisdom, because she and I have never been amazingly close, and I know she isn't a fan of Virgil, whom I do trust. I want to keep us together if I can. Or, at the very least, discourage her from choosing me as a Sacrificial Lamb.

* * *

Chris sat in the military helicopter.

"And just like that, Shadya's closest ally puts her in the direct line of fire! That's what Total Drama does to you, folks! Hehaha," Chris laughed. "Now that Wisdom's in control, will she make good on her deals with Hildegard and Rhiannon, or will she stick with Godfrey and Virgil? And what will the others do to make sure they stay safe? Anything can happen... on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Makani Island:**

Godfrey - The Mysterious Roboticist

Hildegard - The Paladin

Rhiannon - The Porn Star

 _Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart_

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Ginger - The Snarky Robot_

 _Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger_

 _Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist_

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: To some extent, Shadya was always going to be the big bad of this story. I think the teenage sociality of Total Drama can be underexplored in TD fics, and I wanted a character akin to Season 1 Heather who could get people to take her side and do as she said through sheer aura of intimidation to hold a lot of the power in the game. Of course, with Heather, her making it as far as she did seemed contrived a lot of the time, so I wanted Shadya to be genuinely incredibly skilled at the game, someone that people would want to stick with and could feasibly avoid constant elimination all season long in spite of a poor social game and clearly being a threat. I wanted her to seem untouchable without seeming like a Mary Sue, and I think I succeeded on that front?_

 _Of course, characters like her are going to be easy to root against, and obviously, quite a few people did root against her, but I didn't want her to be completely one-note and inhuman, partially because I knew she was going to make it far, and partially because that seems too easy for a character like her, so I added the little bits about her being adopted and her relationship with her adoptive father and how she views her biological parents. I had intended to explore that part of her yet further, but I couldn't find a good point to do so, and I didn't want it to seem forced or overblown to the point where it came off like I was begging for the reader to feel bad for her. She is still an antagonist, of course, and while antagonists can be sympathetic, I don't think Shadya really needed to be, especially in light of all the skills and accomplishments she already had going for her._

 _So that was Shadya. I kept toying around with where exactly on Makani Island I wanted her to go home, but I think losing her first will allow for more dynamic gameplay for the final five. Let me know what you thought about Shadya and her role in the story!_


	23. What Do You Have To Gain?

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he sat within the military helicopter. "In the last episode, Big Kahuna Rhiannon saw a clear option for her Sacrificial Lambs. Godfrey and Virgil were the clear biggest threats in the opposing alliance, and the two boys were selected. Both of them took the opportunity to expand their options, and Virgil bargained with Shadya, promising her final two, while Godfrey bargained with Hildegard, claiming he'd play the third wheel to her and Rhiannon. Wisdom also took the opportunity to make deals outside of her alliance.

"Rhiannon ended up winning the Divine Intervention challenge as well, and both Sacrificial Lambs pleaded for her to use it on them. She claimed that she was firm in her decision to not use it, but, after discussing things with Hildegard, she decided to take Godfrey's offer anyway, saving him and putting Shadya up as a replacement, much to everyone's surprise. Shadya, of course, was not too happy about this, but she swore that she would get the votes against Virgil.

"In the end, Shadya could not get the votes against Virgil, and those voting took the chance to get rid of the biggest threat in the game. The Big Kahuna challenge followed, and Wisdom ended up taking the win! She's worked with Godfrey and Virgil in the past, but she's also made deals with Hildegard and Rhiannon. Who will Wisdom choose as a Sacrificial Lamb? Will Divine Intervention lead to any more shocking plays? And who will be our fifth placer? The answers to all this and more, tonight! On Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Rhiannon and Wisdom were the first two to eat breakfast.

"So, I guess it's kind of pathetic to tell you this now that you've won Big Kahuna, but I really would be willing to work with you going forward," Rhiannon said.

"Is that so?" Wisdom asked. "Well, you did get rid of Shadya, huh? Why would you do that if you weren't willing to explore new options?"

"Exactly!" Rhiannon affirmed. "So yeah, I don't suppose you'd be willing to nominate Godfrey and Virgil today."

Wisdom nodded. "So, it's a girls alliance, huh?"

"I hadn't really thought about it, but yeah, I guess so," Rhiannon figured. "Well, I'm definitely all about some girl power."

"No kidding?" Wisdom thought aloud. "Who would you vote out between Godfrey and Virgil?"

"I could go either way. Maybe I'll talk it over with Hildegard," Rhiannon admitted. "Unless you have a plan, in which case, I'm happy to hear it."

"I guess I'd lean a bit more towards Virgil going?" Wisdom answered. "But it's up to you and Hildegard, right?"

"It's your day as Big Kahuna. You're the boss," Rhiannon smiled. "If you want Virgil gone, I certainly wouldn't mind, and I doubt Hildegard would, either."

"I guess there's no point in insisting against just doing as I suggest if you said you could go either way, huh?" Wisdom figured. "So Virgil it is?"

"Sounds like it," Rhiannon nodded. "Man, I can't believe we're this close to the end. Does this count as the endgame?"

"It's the last island, right? What better point to call this the endgame?" Wisdom posited.

"I guess final five is a pretty 'endgame' sort of point," Rhiannon agreed. "Congrats on making the endgame! And the final four, too!"

"I guess I am guaranteed final four, aren't I?" Wisdom realized. "Things are only going to get harder after that, aren't they?"

"Who knows?" Rhiannon responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Rhiannon's kind of obvious, isn't she? But then, I guess she mentioned that she knew as much, huh? Still, at least she's making an effort with me, right? Has Hildegard spoken with me even once since we shuffled?

 **Rhiannon:** Getting rid of Shadya last night was the ultimate risk, but I was comfortable taking it because I knew I always had the chance to work over the others. Or, at least Godrey and Wisdom. I saved Godfrey with Divine Intervention, and Wisdom's offered to work with me before. I realize nothing is guaranteed, but I feel relatively confident moving forward, more so than I did when Shadya was around.

* * *

Godfrey and Hildegard had gone out to get firewood.

"So, has Rhiannon spoken with you about my final three offer?" Godfrey wondered.

"Verily, hence thy safety yesternight," Hildegard confirmed. "Such a gesture should be proof positive that we are willing to work with thee."

"Believe me, I'm incredibly grateful," Godfrey assured her. "So what do you make of Wisdom being Big Kahuna? It's not unlikely that you and Rhiannon will be Sacrificial Lambs."

"Well, if that is the case, do remember thy promise unto me that thou wouldst use Divine Intervention to save me if I were to save thee," Hildegard reminded him. "I know technically Lady Rhiannon saved thee, but only because of mine input!"

"Of course," Godfrey nodded. "My offer wasn't just because I wanted to save myself or lose Shadya, it's because I could always tell you two were good people to work with."

"'Tis not befitting of a paladin to boast, but thy claims that I am a good person are certainly not unjustified," Hildegard said proudly. "Lady Rhiannon still continues the nasty cycle of lust, but that is something she wishes to stop. Er, not that it is my place to tell thee."

"Mum's the word. And I'm _very_ good at keeping secrets," Godfrey assured her. "So, am I 'Sir Godfrey' yet, or do I have to work up to it?"

"...Thou art Sir Godfrey, but thou can lose it as quickly as thou hast earned it," Hildegard explained. "Elmer lost his title very quickly after feeling the need to be such a know-it-all!"

"I can see that happening kind of vividly," Godfrey chuckled. "Well, Lady Hildegard, I look forward to seeing where the game takes us. Hopefully to the final two."

"Thou intendeth to take me to the final two?" Hildegard asked.

"Well, that's the logical progression after the final three," Godfrey figured. "Don't feel pressured to drop your game-long relationship with Rhiannon just to say you'll take me, too. I get that I just joined your alliance."

"Worry not, I felt no such pressure," Hildegard told him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I am still not entirely sure how much I trust Sir Godfrey, but if he is to tell me that he wishes to take me to the finale, I shall not admonish him for it. I believe that now makes two of the four other contestants who wish such a thing, assuming he is being truthful. Actually, now that I think of it, that may be quite an assumption.

 **Godfrey:** Am I being honest with Hildegard? Well, it pays to keep your options open. If I'm not mistaken, everyone left in the game trusts me at least a little bit. I was already aligned with Virgil and Wisdom going into the island, and now Hildegard is calling me 'Sir' and Rhiannon is using Divine Intervention on me. Not the worst position I've been in this month.

* * *

Virgil later met up with Wisdom away from camp.

"So, what's the high life like, Strawberry?" Virgil asked playfully. "How do we lowly peasants look from up on high?"

"...What are you talking about?" Wisdom asked, confused.

"Ah, ignore me," Virgil dismissed. "So anyway, I wanted to see where your head was at going forward. Obviously, I'd still like to work with you and Mystery Pop going forward, since I trust you two the most out of everyone here."

"You trust me that much?" Wisdom asked.

"I definitely don't trust Spearmint or especially Cherry Pie," Virgil mentioned. "In fact, between the two, I'd definitely vote for Cherry Pie. She's definitely a bigger threat than Spearmint, plus she nominated me as a Sacrificial Lamb and then lied to me that she wouldn't use Divine Intervention. Not cool."

"Have you spoken with Godfrey about this?" Wisdom inquired.

"Not yet, and I am worried that Cherry Pie saving him with Divine Intervention is going to make him push more for a Spearmint vote," Virgil said. "Which, that's still a knock against our enemies, but it leaves them more of a chance to retaliate."

"Hildegard could win challenges, couldn't she?" Wisdom figured. "She's got armor and a weapon, right?"

"I mean, have either of those been of any use to her?" Virgil brought up. "It's almost brilliant, this knight shtick she has going on. It makes her goofy enough to not look like a threat, but having honest-to-god armor and stuff makes her just capable enough to not look like a viability, plus it makes any claims of loyalty on her part seem that much more genuine."

"Is it all an act? Or is she really just like that?" Wisdom wondered.

"I refuse to believe anyone just talks like that." Virgil shook his head. "And if she does, then I can't help but wonder about how badly she gets picked on at home."

"Didn't she mention that she does get picked on?" Wisdom brought up.

"If she did, I either wasn't there or don't remember," Virgil shrugged. "Either way, I probably shouldn't be so dismissive of her. She's made it this far for a reason."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** I have quite the decision later today, don't I? Everyone expects me to choose who they want as the Sacrificial Lambs, huh? What should I do? I can't please everyone, so what will be best for my game?

 **Virgil:** I guess Spearmint is a sort of threat by virtue of being no threat at all. Meanwhile, Cherry Pie is smart, sociable, and has been winning quite a few challenges as of late. Basically, it's Top Banana all over again: we've got to take out the strongest enemy while we can.

* * *

The final five met up at the ceremony shrine. Each of them sat in a camp chair while Chris stood behind the lectern on the raised platform.

"Welcome to the Sacrificial Lamb ceremony!" Chris began. "Wisdom, as the Big Kahuna, you must now select two of your fellow contestants to be Sacrificial Lambs. I trust you've come to your final decision by now, so please get up behind the podium and make your calls!"

Chris stepped to the side. Wisdom took the cue and made her way up behind the lectern.

"Well, no point in stalling, is there?" Wisdom gulped, cleared her throat, and then did the same two more times. "Would... Would Hildegard and Rhiannon please their seats behind me?"

The girls nodded in disappointed understanding as they each stood up and made their way to the uncomfortable wooden chairs at the back of the raised platform.

"There aren't a lot of people I could have chosen, you know?" Wisdom maintained. "So I figured, 'Wouldn't it make the most sense to keep safe the people who have worked with me longest?' That's fairly understandable, right? And hey, you can still be saved with... Divine Intervention, right?" Wisdom gulped. "That's all I have to say, I guess? We can still talk later, right?"

Wisdom stepped down from the raised platform and returned to her camp chair. Chris returned behind the lectern.

"And with that, our Sacrificial Lambs are up for the slaughter!" Chris announced. "Of course, you'll both have plenty of time to do whatever it takes to make sure you see another day in Total Drama Shuffle Party! With that, you are dismissed!"

* * *

 **Confessional** :

 **Hildegard** : I'd a feeling that Wisdom would select me as a Sacrificial Lamb regardless of any efforts to sway her. But it is as she said: Divine Intervention can save me or Lady Jessica! And I fully intend for this to happen! Lady Hildegard shan't bow so easily!

 **Rhiannon:** Well, I did what I could, but I think Wisdom was set on putting up me and Hildegard. It's a shame because I was willing to work with her going forward, but I guess we never have trusted one another, ever since Kairi Island. I can still turn things around, though, and I _am_ going to.

* * *

Rhiannon kept Wisdom at the shrine after the ceremony concluded.

"So, you really don't want to work with me," Rhiannon stated.

"Well, can you blame me?" Wisdom frowned. "There are only five of us left, what was I supposed to do? Choose one or both of my longer-time allies?"

"I don't blame you, but it does hurt that you would string me along like that this morning," Rhiannon sighed.

"Weren't you the one who approached me about working together this morning?" Wisdom pointed out. "How am I to blame, here? Aren't you the one who cornered me into a deal? What was I supposed to do? Tell you point-blank that I wouldn't work with you? Doing that would only hurt my game, right? That's only basic strategy, right? An unspoken agreement?"

Rhiannon was taken aback. "I guess that's fair, but it's also basic strategy for me to at least make an attempt to save your skin when you're in a bad situation."

"And who put you in the minority?" Wisdom challenged. "Aren't you the one who used Divine Intervention to save Godfrey? Aren't you the one who chose Shadya as a Sacrificial Lamb?"

"It was an incredibly calculated risk," Rhiannon insisted. "Maybe not calculated with perfect correctness, but I put a ton of thought into that move. Don't come talking to me about being bad at the game."

"When did I say you were bad at the game?" Wisdom frowned. "Rhiannon, I get you're upset, but would you not have selected me as a Sacrificial Lamb if you had the choice?"

"Oh, don't give me that," Rhiannon grunted. "You told me yesterday that you wanted to work with me, I told you that I wanted to work with you, and you immediately went back on your offer and put me in danger. I've done nothing to you."

"Did Kun do anything to you when he said he wanted to work with you, you said you wanted to work with him, and you immediately went back on your offer and put him in danger?" Wisdom's brow furrowed. "Rhiannon, what do you have to gain from taking your anger out on me? Do you think I'll use Divine Intervention on you if I win it?"

"Alright, fine! I guess I'm a chump and everything is my fault!" Rhiannon exasperated. "Congrats on second place."

Rhiannon walked away. Wisdom sighed and shook her head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Rhiannon's always prided herself on being good at the game, right? So I suppose that losing all control of her position must be stressing her out, huh? Well, if she didn't want that, then why did she put Shadya on the chopping block? Did she not think that my existing alliance would stick together?

 **Rhiannon:** _(She sighs.)_ The worst part of that whole exchange was when she brought Kun into it. Because she's completely right. That's basically exactly how I treated Kun after the first shuffle, even though Kun and I already had a rapport from the previous island. Meanwhile, Wisdom and I have never clicked the entire game. Of course, she won't work with me if a better opportunity arises. That's exactly what I would have done in her position! Ugh, I'm such an idiot!

* * *

Hildegard tended to the campfire while Virgil sat and watched while eating a box of sour straws.

"I see that thou still refuseth to heed my warnings about thy teeth rotting," Hildegard commented.

"Sure am," Virgil smirked. "I see you're still as carefree as ever."

"If thou wisheth to lose thy teeth and wear dentures before 20, be my guest," Hildegard tsked.

"I didn't know they had oral hygiene in whatever time period you're supposed to be from," Virgil remarked.

"The fantasy genre is eternal!" Hildegard insisted. "Final Fantasy X is set in the future! Although, that's a spoiler, actually."

"Nice job," Virgil chuckled.

"It came out when we were infants!" Hildegard added defensively.

"What's the statute of limitations on that kind of thing, I wonder?" Virgil mused.

"For something as well-discussed as Final Fantasy, not long," Hildegard mentioned. "But I digress. Where doth thou stand on tonight?"

"Like, which of you Lambs I'd vote out?" Virgil asked. "I'm leaning Cherry Pie, but if she saves herself, well, there's not much I can do there."

"Dost thou think that thou would be her replacement?" Hildegard questioned.

"Honestly? It's not unlikely," Virgil figured. "Strawberry and I have known each other longer than she's known Mystery Pop, but she's worked with him longer."

"That did not stop Lady Rhiannon from putting Lady Shadya at risk," Hildegard reminded him.

"Am I a bigger threat than Mystery Pop, though, is the thing," Virgil mentioned. "He did manage to deceive everyone for most of the game about who he was, but that's never really affected Strawberry's opinion of him. And what do I have going for me that he doesn't?"

"Perhaps more loyalty to young Wisdom," Hildegard smirked.

"...You think _I'm_ more loyal to Strawberry than Mystery Pop is?" Virgil doubted.

"How didst thou thinketh he was able to get Lady Rhiannon to save him?!" Hildegard drove home. "Because he promised the two of us final three!"

"...God damn it, he totally did, didn't he?" Virgil grumbled. "Fuck! I can't even blame him, because I totally tried to do the same thing with Top Banana and Cherry Pie!"

"How nice that thou considereth me worthy of making deals," Hildegard said flatly.

"I would have gotten to it if Cherry Pie hadn't shut me down so hard," Virgil grunted.

"Of course, I would not be averse to further deals," Hildegard hinted.

"Mm..." Virgil pondered this.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** The immediate idea is to make deals with Spearmint, but she's already made a deal with Mystery Pop, so what could I do to sweeten the deal? Especially when Cherry Pie hates my ass and won't work with me. I feel like, at this point, all I can do is stick with the alliance I've got and do whatever I can to make sure that alliance succeeds.

 **Hildegard:** As a good holy knight, 'tis my duty to always be honest! _(She giggles.)_ The fact that it could benefit my game by causing distrust against those who oppose me is an added bonus.

* * *

Godfrey, Virgil, and Wisdom met up away from camp.

"So, Wisdom, did you have any thoughts on which of the girls you'd rather see gone?" Godfrey began.

"Rhiannon, I guess?" Wisdom responded. "She's more of a threat than Hildegard, right? And haven't you noticed that she's getting a lot more confrontational? Ironic that it's her and not Hildegard, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm definitely on the Cherry Pie train," Virgil agreed. "It sounds like she actively dislikes all three of us right now. If she won Big Kahuna tonight, that wouldn't be good."

"Would it be much better if Hildegard won it?" Wisdom wondered. "Both of them would pick two of us as Sacrificial Lambs either way, right?"

"Cherry Pie is still a bigger threat, either way," Virgil stated. "She won both challenges last round, lest ye forget."

"Yeah, that's going to be tough to ignore," Godfrey agreed. "Rhiannon's definitely going to be the best bet."

"Well then it sounds like it's settled," Virgil grinned. "Now we just need to make sure she doesn't win Divine Intervention, and we're golden."

Wisdom glanced at Godfrey.

"What?" Godfrey asked.

"On the last island, didn't you suggest... making things more difficult for our opposition?" Wisdom reminded him.

"I also mentioned that I was having a moral crisis about it, but I guess that isn't as important to you," Godfrey said flatly.

"And didn't Hildegard make things harder for us while you hesitated?" Wisdom continued. "Who's to say we can't do the same? It's the final five, you know? Shouldn't we be doing whatever we can to win?"

"I mean, again, even if Cherry Pie does save herself, we could always just vote out Spearmint," Virgil mentioned.

"Do you think Rhiannon would vote for Hildegard?" Wisdom asked.

"If not, I'm pretty sure you break the tie since you're the Big Kahuna," Virgil figured.

"It'd probably be better to play it safe," Godfrey said. "There's no sense in making greater enemies out of either of them. If anything, it'd probably just spur them on to try even harder to beat us."

"You think?" Wisdom hummed.

"Better safe than sorry," Godfrey reiterated. "As Virgil said, one of them is going home no matter what. Hubris isn't going to do us any good."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** What's going on with Godfrey? He keeps saying that he needs to win for the future of robotics, right? So why is he so hesitant to start playing dirty when him winning may depend on it? If Rhiannon survives, she could win Big Kahuna, right? Why is he willing to risk that?

 **Virgil:** I mean, I definitely see where both of them are coming from. On one hand, we want to make sure Cherry Pie goes home, and that obviously can't happen if she wins Divine Intervention. On the other hand, I'm not sure it'd be the end of the world if Spearmint left instead. We'd still outnumber Cherry Pie two-to-one in the next Big Kahuna challenge, and Mystery Pop and I are no slouches, either.

 **Godfrey:** Of course, what the Lollipops don't know is that I have a deal going with the Knights of Goodness, and trying to sabotage them by any means could mean them severing that deal, which isn't very good for me. I'm not going to stop the Lollipops from doing what they want, of course, but I need to make sure I'm still in a good position. It pays to be prepared.

* * *

The final five met up with Chris in an area with five strange contraptions and several stacks of ceramic plates, bowls, and cups.

"Good afternoon, friends!" Chris greeted.

"Friends?" Wisdom cocked her head to the side.

"I've already sent you all friend requests. You wouldn't want to hurt my feelings by turning them down, would you?" Chris sniffled dramatically.

"I don't particularly care one way or the other," Virgil said.

Chris looked stony face for a second before continuing. "Well, anyway, here's how today's Divine Intervention challenge is going to work! Each of you is going to hold onto a handle on top of a wobbly base. On the other end of your handle is a platform that you'll be balancing these plates, bowls, and cups on. I'll keep on calling out for which items you're going to be stacking. If you can't get the item stacked in five seconds, or if any of your stack falls to the ground, you're out of the challenge! The last person standing wins Divine Intervention."

"Most interesting," Hildegard commented.

"You've had to balance strength, strategy, and sociability in this game... can you balance some tableware?" Chris chuckled. "Let's get this underway!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** One wrong move, and my chances in the challenge - and probably the game by extension - come crashing down before me. Now, more than ever, I just need to focus and keep my eyes on the prize.

 **Hildegard:** To be a knight takes great discipline and skill! I'm certainly no noble who has practiced walking with books upon her head, but I should be able to outlast the others in this challenge!

* * *

The five contestants took their spots and balanced their handles upon their bases.

"Alright, we'll start this off easy," Chris began. "Put a large plate on your base."

The stacks of tableware were within reaching distance of each of the contestants, so they were all able to grab a large plate while keeping their handles balanced and place their plates upon their handles' platform with little issue.

"Now do a medium plate," Chris continued.

The contestants did as they were told, once again with little issue.

"Another large plate," Chris instructed.

The contestants trepidatiously placed a large plate upon their medium plates, all while keeping the balance.

"Now place a medium bowl on your stack," Chris grinned.

None of the contestants seemed enthused about this as they took their bowls and stacked them onto their plates.

"Another large plate," Chris prompted.

The contestants all had a bit of trouble figuring out the best position for their plates, and some were more centered than others.

"And now a small plate," Chris grinned.

The contestants placed a small plate upon their respective stacks, taking care not to knock over what they already had.

"This is getting tense pretty quickly," Godfrey grunted.

"'Tis no feat... for Lady Hildegard!" Hildegard insisted.

"Medium bowl," Chris continued.

The contestants managed to get their bowl on their stack in time, with the exception of Virgil, who knocked over his stack.

"Virgil is out! His chance at winning Divine Intervention is gone!" Chris announced.

"How embarrassing," Virgil spat.

"Alright, now put a large bowl on your stack," Chris instructed.

The four contestants struggled, but all of them ultimately pulled it off, albeit some better than others.

"This challenge won't last much longer, will it?" Wisdom wondered.

"I don't know about you, but I can keep going for hours," Rhiannon insisted.

"Large plate," Chris commanded.

The contestants struggled to balance their plates on their stacks, and Wisdom even knocked over her stack.

"Wisdom is out of the challenge!" Chris announced.

Wisdom nodded disappointedly.

"Three contestants remain. Who wants Divine Intervention today?" Chris grinned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I guess it's all up to Mystery Pop to make sure Sacrificial Lambs stay the same. I honestly have no idea how this challenge could go, so all I can do is hope nothing goes wrong. At least not for him.

 **Wisdom:** Were these plates and bowls created solely for the sake of this challenge? Or were they created to serve as plates and bowls, and Chris is simply wasting them by letting them break? Have they ever been used to serve food? What would the person who made them think if they knew that their work was being used like this? It's kind of depressing to think about, isn't it?

* * *

Godfrey, Hildegard, and Rhiannon struggled with the increasing weight of their stacks but kept them held up.

"Now put a medium cup on your stack," Chris told them.

The contestants carefully did so.

"Medium plate," Chris instructed.

The contestants, teeth clenched, all managed to get their plates on top of their cups. All three remaining stacks were not as centered as their contestants would have liked.

"Hope you guys can keep it steady. I'd hate to be you if you were responsible for breaking all these nice pieces. Oh, and losing Divine Intervention might bite, too. Hehaha," Chris taunted. "Anyway, time to add a small plate."

As the contestants put a small plate on their stacks, Godfrey managed to knock over the medium plate he'd just put on, sending it and the medium cup it was atop to the ground.

"That counts! Godfrey is out of the challenge!" Chris announced.

"Well, no sense in letting the rest of these go to waste, I guess," Godfrey sighed as he began to carefully unstack his stack and put the pieces back on the platform next to him.

"It's down to Hildegard and Rhiannon! One of them will win the power to save herself or her ally," Chris commented. "Now add a small cup!"

Both girls carefully placed a small cup on top of their stacks.

"Best of luck to thee, Lady Rhiannon," Hildegard said to her friend.

"Likewise," Rhiannon nodded back.

"Well, this ain't good," Virgil muttered to Wisdom. "Don't suppose I can convince you to pick Mystery Pop as the replacement for whoever wins?"

"Can we talk later? When there's more privacy? And we don't need to whisper?" Wisdom requested.

"Fair enough," Virgil agreed.

"Alright, now a medium plate," Chris chuckled.

Hildegard and Rhiannon nervously took a medium plate and slowly began to stack it on top of their stacks.

"Three... two... one. Hands off!" Chris counted down.

Both contestants had their hands off of their plates at the count of one. Neither stack fell.

"A large cup," Chris grinned.

The contestants tried to balance a large cup on top of their stacks. One of them managed to succeed. The other dropped her stack.

"We have a winner!" Chris announced.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Hildegard wins Divine Intervention!" Chris called.

"Summer's day!" Hildegard cheered.

"Good job," Rhiannon sighed and then smiled.

"You'll have until the ceremony this evening to decide how you plan on using it," Chris said. "I'll see you guys then!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Once again, the victor am I! Thou may put the great Lady Hildegard before any trial, and she shall overcome! This shall be my ticket to the final four, and eventually, first place!

 **Wisdom:** So one of my Sacrificial Lambs won, huh? What am I going to tell Virgil? _Should_ I tell Virgil? Should I just let him assume the worst and not start anything with him? Or would that seem too cowardly? Should I just ask Godfrey what to do? _(She gulps.)_

* * *

Hildegard and Rhiannon gathered firewood away from camp.

"Congrats again on winning," Rhiannon smiled. "I feel like I didn't come across as genuine before when I said that. I was more disappointed in myself for losing than anything."

"All hope is not lost!" Hildegard encouraged.

"How? How do I not get voted out tonight?" Rhiannon asked exasperatedly.

"Do recall our deals with Sir Godfrey," Hildegard reminded her. "Does he not owe you his life in the game after thou saved him previously?"

"Wisdom's in power, though, not him," Rhiannon pointed out.

"Well, let us assume that she selects Virgil as her replacement," Hildegard began. "Sir Godfrey and I will be the votes to eliminate tonight."

"And what does he have to gain from not forcing a tie for Wisdom to break - likely against me?" Rhiannon doubted. "What does he have to lose by letting me go home?"

"The respect of one Lady Hildegard, Knight of Goodness!" Hildegard insisted.

"Somehow I'm not fully convinced that alone is going to stop him," Rhiannon said.

"Mm, perhaps not," Hildegard conceded. "...But what if 'twas not I who was safe?"

"I'm... How do you mean?" Rhiannon asked, confused.

"Sir Godfrey has promised that he would take me to the final two," Hildegard boasted. "If it was I versus Virgil, mayhaps he would opt to save me over him!"

"Are you willing to bet your game on that?" Rhiannon asked, concerned. "I'm not going to ask you to. You won Divine Intervention fair and square."

"...I shall think about it," Hildegard decided. "Although I wish for both of us to make it to the next round, that may or may not be feasible."

"I trust you," Rhiannon told her.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Verily, 'twas I who won the power of Divine Intervention; fitting for a holy knight such as myself. The obvious move is to save myself with it, but if I were confident that saving Lady Jessica would mean both of us could get by, then I could save her!

 **Rhiannon:** Obviously, I want to stay in this game and I want to win, and I appreciate Hildegard wanting to help me out, but... it just doesn't sit right, that she'd put herself in such a risky spot just to buy me another day in the game. She's told me about how many times she's applied for this show and how excited she is that she'd make it this far. I don't want to be responsible for her potential loss in any capacity.

* * *

Godfrey and Wisdom sat in the shelter together.

"So, it seems like you're going to have to pick a new Sacrificial Lamb tonight," Godfrey mentioned.

"You realized it, too, huh?" Wisdom sighed. "What choices do I have but you or Virgil? Why did Hildegard have to win Divine Intervention?"

"That's the nature of the game, I guess," Godfrey figured. "I hate to have to campaign to put Virgil in danger, but... I've been working with you for longer, and I think he's only working with you out of necessity, anyway."

"...Godfrey, could you answer me one question?" Wisdom inquired.

"Of course," Godfrey complied.

"Why did Rhiannon save you with Divine Intervention yesterday?" Wisdom asked. "She's the one who put you up in the first place, right? What could have changed her mind in such a short span of time? What did you tell her? What did you do?"

"I made a fake deal with her and Hildegard, of course," Godfrey told her. "I promised them final three if Rhiannon saved me and nominated Shadya instead. I still can't believe it worked, honestly."

"You must have been very convincing in order for her to believe you, huh?" Wisdom figured.

"What are you getting at?" Godfrey frowned.

"You've proven before that you're very good at lying, right?" Wisdom mentioned. "Is it so strange of me to wonder, even a little, if you're lying to me?"

"About what?" Godfrey winced, insulted.

"Whether or not you're _not_ working with them?" Wisdom clarified.

"Wisdom, what would I have to gain by betraying two people I actually have a connection with for people who have consistently been working against me?" Godfrey insisted.

"But it isn't consistent anymore, remember?" Wisdom brought up. "Rhiannon saved you; is that not a pretty big red flag?"

"Alright. Then what do you have to gain by betraying me?!" Godfrey scowled. "Shadya is gone and our alliance has the majority. This is all we've ever wanted in this game. What good is it going to do you if you pick me as the new Sacrificial Lamb?"

"It's going to have to be you _or_ Virgil, remember?" Wisdom frowned. "Wouldn't it make more sense to pick the one who I suspect might be playing both sides?"

Godfrey was at a loss for words.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** Oh no, this is exactly what Rhiannon wanted, isn't it? Take out the big threat Shadya, rope me in to replace her, and then make this public so my other allies don't trust me. Rhiannon's smart - I wouldn't put it past her. Well, either way, any incentive to stick with her and Hildegard might be dead and gone. Not that they need to know that.

 **Wisdom:** It pays to be cautious, right? Especially this late into the game? Godfrey's said before how badly he wants to win the prize money, right? Wouldn't it make sense for him to do whatever it takes to win? I have to pick someone as a replacement, you know? It's definitely the better choice at this point, no?

* * *

Virgil and Wisdom met in the Tent of Banquets

"Well, it seems like you're going to have to pick either me or Mystery Pop to be the new Lamb," Virgil prefaced.

"Do you think Godfrey is playing both sides?" Wisdom asked point-blank.

"Well damn, that's a question I didn't expect," Virgil said with an amused chuckle. "Actually, Cherry Pie sold him out to me earlier today. Can't say I can blame him, though. I did what I could to work over the other alliance yesterday."

Wisdom nodded disappointedly. "But you were a Sacrificial Lamb, right? Godfrey wasn't, so what good would it do him to go behind our backs like that?"

"Well, if Cherry Pie or Spearmint win Big Kahuna, it'd mean they'd probably prioritize us as _their_ Sacrificial Lambs," Virgil figured.

"Why are you so calm about this?" Wisdom asked.

"Believe me, I'm not happy with the position this leaves us in, but I've had more time to digest it," Virgil explained. "Also, I probably would have done the same if I were more confident in my ability to win them over. But hey, you're in a position to send him - and the others - a message."

"I am?" Wisdom asked.

"By... By putting Mystery Pop up as your replacement," Virgil clarified, bemused. "Maybe even call him out during the ceremony."

"Wouldn't that just make him and the Knights angry at me?" Wisdom quivered.

"Eh, good point. Sneakiness aside, we do still need Mystery Pop on our side," Virgil figured. "Having a majority is going to be important."

Wisdom nodded. "Tonight isn't going to be fun, is it?"

"I imagine Mystery Pop won't be happy with your decision," Virgil told her. "You probably oughta come up with what you're going to say to him."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Who would have thought that my ideal replacement would change so quickly? Am I jumping the gun? I've been wary of Godfrey for a little while now, but Virgil's declared me as his enemy in the past, right? _(She looks to be pondering deeply.)_

 **Virgil:** Obviously, I trust Mystery Pop more than I trust Strawberry, but that doesn't mean that Strawberry shouldn't trust me more than she trusts Mystery Pop. If she's considering having him be the replacement Lamb, I'm going to do what I can to convince her it's a good idea. _(He begins eating a box of red licorice.)_

* * *

Twilight shone over Makani Island. Hildegard and Rhiannon sat in their seats on the raised platform, while Chris stood behind the lectern.

"Welcome, one and all, to the Divine Intervention ceremony!" Chris announced. "Hildegard, you have won the power of Divine Intervention, and you can use it to save one of the Sacrificial Lambs from the slaughter! In doing so, the Big Kahuna - that'd be Wisdom - will have to choose a replacement Sacrificial Lamb. It is time to make your decision."

Chris stepped away from the lectern, prompting Hildegard to step up.

"Thou may be surprised to know that this was a decision for me," Hildegard prefaced. "And in the end, I have decided..."

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Hildegard sprinkled the Holy Water onto herself. "'Twould be in my best interest to save myself."

Rhiannon nodded neutrally. Hildegard made her way to the lower section of the shrine.

"Wisdom, you're up," Chris prompted.

Wisdom made her way to the lectern.

"Would..." Wisdom gulped. She took a deep breath. "Would...

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"Godfrey please take a seat next to Rhiannon?" Wisdom finished hesitantly.

Godfrey let out a disappointed sigh as he took his uncomfortable seat. Hildegard's and Rhiannon's eyes went wide.

"I guess you saw this coming, huh?" Wisdom prefaced. "But we've spoken about it already, right? So you understand why I've selected you? It was either you or Virgil, yeah? If there were more options, I'd pick one of them, you know?"

"If you say so," Godfrey glowered.

"And with that, Divine Intervention has been cast. I'll see you guys later tonight for the vote!" Chris established.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I truly did believe in mine own ability to stay safe tonight, but Lady Jessica insisted that I make no large sacrifice for her. Mayhaps she did not have as much confidence in me as she has in herself. Regardless, I shall take the spot I have earned in the final four.

 **Godfrey:** Well, this came right the hell out of nowhere. At least, it did a few hours ago. Since Wisdom all but confirmed to me that I was going to be the replacement, I've been able to think about what my pitch to Hildegard for not voting for me is going to be. I think I have something.

* * *

Godfrey met up with Hildegard by a relatively large number of trees.

"Frankly, I can little believe we still have trees after what we needed to use for shelter and firewood," Hildegard said.

"I guess they found some good locations," Godfrey figured. "So... it's me versus Rhiannon tonight."

"If thou thinketh that thou can convince me for a second to betray Lady Rhiannon...!" Hildegard shouted.

"Please, just hear me out," Godfrey pled. "At least wait to react until after I've made my pitch."

Hildegard looked at Godfrey expectantly.

"Wisdom has made it clear to me that she no longer trusts me," Godfrey began. "And I'm not just saying that because she picked me as her replacement. She outright confronted me earlier today about playing both sides."

"Thou art playing both sides," Hildegard pointed out flatly.

"On the contrary. I'm making new sides," Godfrey smirked. "See, the thing is, Virgil doesn't really trust Wisdom either. He hasn't ever since the beginning of the game. He's only working with her out of necessity. If I am eliminated from the game tonight, it will be you and Rhiannon versus Wisdom and Virgil. A tough split that could lead to Rhiannon _and_ _you_ both missing out on the final two. But if Rhiannon goes home, I can promise you a spot in my alliance with Virgil in which we vote out Wisdom this next round. She cannot be Big Kahuna next round, and she's hardly the most qualified person to win Divine Intervention. And I intend to hold true to my offer to take you to the final two."

"So doth Lady Rhiannon," Hildegard grunted.

"Lady Rhi- er, Rhiannon doesn't have any connection to Virgil," Godfrey reiterated. "And at this stage in the game, every vote matters immensely. Next round, only one person will be casting a vote. Do you want to risk being a Sacrificial Lamb and having Virgil be your only hope, only for him to send you home? If you vote to keep me, you will be guaranteed final three, and then I'll do everything in my power to make sure we both make final two. If you vote to eliminate me, you might not even make it past the next round."

"Thou doth not know these things for sure!" Hildegard accused. "Speak not of such certainty when no such thing exists!"

"Just because this is all hypothetical doesn't mean there isn't a very strong chance of it happening," Godfrey said.

"And, again, what makes thou thinketh that I would ever betray Lady Rhiannon?" Hildegard huffed.

"You voted for Shadya behind Rhiannon's back before," Godfrey pointed out.

"That was different! Thou were not there, Godfrey!" Hildegard shouted. "And yes, thy 'Sir' status has been revoked!"

"Honestly, that might hurt worse than you refusing to vote to keep me," Godfrey chuckled sadly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I think I made about the best pitch I could have. Whether or not Hildegard takes me up on this is entirely her decision, but I think it's a good plan that could benefit her as well as myself. I hope she realizes that she might not get a better offer in this game.

 **Hildegard:** How dare Godfrey bring up my moment of weakness in voting Lady Shadya! As if I'm one to so easily betray mine allies if it were to benefit me! A paladin takes care of her party. A paladin is Lawful Good. Godfrey, it seems, is True Neutral, maybe Neutral Evil! Such despicably unreliable alignments!

* * *

Rhiannon and Virgil stayed at the ceremony shrine.

"Well, I don't suppose there's anything I can say to convince you to keep me over Godfrey," Rhiannon mentioned.

"Is there anything you can offer me?" Virgil asked as he nonchalantly snacked on some chocolate nibs.

"I can't offer anything better than chocolate, but we can talk about the game," Rhiannon offered.

"Dark chocolate covered ginger," Virgil smiled. "I refrained from eating them while Gingersnap was still in the game, mostly because people saying her name made me crave them too much and I didn't want to eat them all and then have people still calling her that only for me to want some more. But anyway, what can you offer me that Mystery Pop can't?"

Rhiannon paused to think about it. "Is there anything you think I could offer you that he couldn't?"

"Nothing off the top of my head," Virgil said. "Well, it was nice knowing you."

"Don't act like I'm out of it yet! Hildegard won't vote for me," Rhiannon mentioned.

"No, but if she votes Mystery Pop, and I vote you, then Strawberry breaks the tie, and I know she's never been close personal friends with you," Virgil explained.

"Virgil, please," Rhiannon pleaded. "You know how badly I need this money. You know how much it could change my life."

"Sorry, but I'm not going to just lay down and die for you," Virgil said. "All of us could use the money. We're on the cusp of adulthood, and any amount of a jumpstart could help any of us immensely."

"And what would you spend the money on? Chocolate gold coins that are covered in real gold?" Rhiannon scoffed.

"Gold as an additive to dessert is overrated," Virgil dismissed. "I'll have you know that my parents intend for me to move out by the time I'm 18. I'm 17. I'd rather not be homeless, you dig? A million dollars could mean my own place, furniture, and bills are paid for, at least until I can get a real job to start paying bills."

"Virgil, please..." Rhiannon sighed.

"I'm not bending on this. I'm sorry," Virgil insisted. "You have my sympathies, but in this game, you need to be selfish."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I don't know if Virgil intended to or not, but he did give me a massive hint! He mentioned that Wisdom is going to break any potential ties. Of course, he's right about one thing: convincing Wisdom to keep me will be an uphill battle. But it's a battle that's sure as hell worth fighting!

 **Virgil:** Maybe in another lifetime, where Cherry Pie and I were on the same team from the very start, or at least met up on Kairi Island, I could see myself working with her. But as it stands, especially this late into the game, I just can't bend over backward for her. _C'est la vie._

* * *

Rhiannon and Wisdom were the last two to eat dinner as the sky grew dark.

"Wisdom, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier today," Rhiannon apologized genuinely. "The stress of the game had been getting to me. I know that's not really a good excuse, but I hope we can be good going forward."

"How forward do you think you'll be going?" Wisdom asked.

"I was hoping to discuss that with you," Rhiannon said. "The obvious outcome right now is that Hildegard votes for Godfrey, and Virgil votes for me. The Big Kahuna will cast the tie-breaking vote. If I can promise you that I will not pick you as a Sacrificial Lamb and will not cast a vote for you for the rest of the game, would that be enough to convince you to let me stay?"

" _Can_ you promise those things?" Wisdom doubted. "That's sort of a hefty promise, no? Are you willing to abandon Hildegard entirely and take me to the final two?"

"...If it will give me a shot of making it to the final two, then yes," Rhiannon said.

"Can you promise me one additional thing?" Wisdom requested.

"Of course," Rhiannon agreed.

"Would you be willing to forego using Divine Intervention on yourself if it meant I was the replacement?" Wisdom asked.

"Of course!" Rhiannon agreed. "If you would be the replacement, then you would be the sole person to cast a vote. And the other Lamb in this scenario, I imagine, would be Hildegard, since if Hildegard was the Big Kahuna I doubt she'd nominate me and Virgil rather than you and Virgil. I'm putting my trust in you. I'm putting my entire game in your hands."

"You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?" Wisdom acknowledged.

"I'm only a couple of votes away from having all I've put into this game be for nothing," Rhiannon said, trying to remain strong in lieu of oncoming tears. "I _need_ you on my side Wisdom. I'm willing to do whatever you want. Just please grant me at least one more day in this game. Please."

"I'll continue to think about it, okay?" Wisdom told her. "This is a huge decision, you know? Nothing that can be made lightly? Can you wait until the ceremony to find out my decision?"

"Whatever works best for you," Rhiannon agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Rhiannon:** I guess you could say I have practice in appealing to one's innate desire to be in complete control. I won't act like it wasn't embarrassing having to submit completely to Wisdom of all people, but we're long past the point of hesitation.

 **Wisdom:** So, even after I've named two Sacrificial Lambs and one replacement, my tough decisions still aren't over, hm? Can I trust Rhiannon here? _Should_ I trust Rhiannon here? Does the risk outweigh the reward?

* * *

Night had fallen, and the final six had gathered at the shrine. Chris stood at the lectern, and Godfrey and Rhiannon sat in the seats behind him.

"Welcome to the elimination ceremony!" Chris announced. "In just a few minutes, Hildegard and Virgil will cast their votes to eliminate either Godfrey or Rhiannon! Before that happens, though, I'm going to let both of the Sacrificial Lambs plead their case to those voting. Give one last speech that might change their minds. Godfrey, you can go first."

Godfrey stood up and walked up to the lectern. "Virgil, I trust you one hundred percent. I have ever since we clicked on Kairi Island. Hildegard, I've spoken with you already about why I think you should vote to keep me, but if I may add onto that: Rhiannon has proven her worth in challenges, she has proven her worth strategically, and she has proven that she can get people on her side. I can't imagine she doesn't know what will happen in the event of a tie, so it's very likely she's done whatever she can to save herself, and that could even mean casting you aside. I implore you to consider that."

Godfrey took his seat.

"Well alright. Rhiannon, you're up!" Chris announced.

"Okay, wow, first of all, I really don't appreciate being slandered like that," Rhiannon scoffed as she stood up and stood behind the lectern. "Anyway, I'll keep this brief. Hilde, you know I love you to pieces, and I firmly believe that our friendship will last us outside this game. Virgil, we've spoken. I respect your decision, no matter what it is. Wisdom, there comes a time in this game where you need to think about yourself and what will be the best for _you_. Thank you."

Rhiannon returned to her seat.

"Well put, both of you," Chris grinned. "That said, it's time to cast your votes! Virgil, please begin."

Virgil made his way to the confessional booth.

* * *

After both votes had been cast, Chris returned to the lectern.

"The votes have been cast!" Chris announced. "And...

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"By a unanimous vote, Rhiannon, you have been eliminated!" Chris announced.

Rhiannon's mouth fell open, and she could not stop tears from escaping her eyes.

"Lady Jessica, I..." Hildegard choked.

"You don't get to call me that anymore!" Rhiannon cried. "Not after you just doomed me to being Rhiannon forever!"

Hildegard could not stop herself from crying, either.

"Damn, what just happened?" Virgil asked, pleasantly confused.

"Perhaps the bond between those two was not as tight as they claimed?" Wisdom said only loudly enough for him to hear.

"If you'll all follow me, we can send Rhiannon on her way," Chris prompted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** _(Her face is red and tears have stained her face.)_ 'Twas a... _(sniffle)_ a last-second decision. I was geared up to stand stalwart by mine ally, but... Lady Rhiannon... the more I witnessed, the easier it was to believe that, mayhaps, she might have made a deal to Wisdom to which she'd hold true. 'Tis not as though she's never... _(sniffle)_ betrayed allies before. As she said, there comes a time where thou must consider what is best for thee and thee alone. _(She begins to cry again.)_ Jessica, I'm so sorry...!

* * *

Chris led Rhiannon and the final four to the Elevator of Losers.

"Well, if nothing else, at least you're used to getting fucked on camera! Hehaha!" Chris laughed.

Rhiannon looked aghast.

"Yeah, that was over the line," Virgil told Chris.

"Come on, I've been waiting all season to use that one," Chris insisted.

"Fine. I guess I'm just a big fat joke to everyone!" Rhiannon scoffed. "Get the rest of your laughs out now. I'm never contacting any of you ever again."

"Lady Rhiannon..." Hildegard muttered.

"You were a worthy adversary, Cherry Pie," Virgil told her. "Don't think for a second that you weren't a massive threat to win."

"I respect you as a competitor, but things just didn't fall into place for the two of us," Godfrey told her.

"Take care of yourself, won't you?" Wisdom smiled.

Rhiannon looked to the ground, and then to the final four. "Just..." she sighed. "I don't know. I don't have any more to say."

Rhiannon stepped into the Elevator of Losers, which Chris began to lower down by the pulley system.

"With all that said and done, you guys have made the final four!" Chris told the contestants. "Let's go crown a new Big Kahuna, shall we?"

"You made the right move," Godfrey told Hildegard as Virgil and Wisdom followed Chris.

Hildegard did not look Godfrey in the eye and simply hesitated before following Chris herself.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Virgil:** It sucks being in the minority with nothing you can do about it, but sometimes that's just the game. It's not that I'm averse to the idea of working with you at all, but this late in the game, there's really no good reason to go against the grain. Sorry, but I vote for Rhiannon. Good game.

 **Hildegard:** _(She sits there silently for several seconds, looking contemplative.)_ ...I... ..I vote for... ...Lady... ...Jessica... 'Tis... 'Tis for the best...

* * *

The final four met Chris over by three balance beams, each of which had large containers on one side and medium containers on the other.

"Alright contestants, it's time to determine who our next Big Kahuna will be!" Chris announced. "Wisdom, as our outgoing Big Kahuna, you will not be participating in this challenge."

Wisdom nodded.

"Godfrey, Hildegard, and Virgil, your task is this:" Chris began. "As you can see, we have some massive jugs out here."

Virgil snickered.

"One jug, of course, is full of colored water, with the other being empty," Chris continued. "Your job is to use the cup next to your jug of water and fill up the other, smaller jug on the other side of the balance beam. It should probably go without saying, but just in case any of you try being a smart-ass about it, yes, you _do_ have to actually walk across the balance beam. If you fall off, you have to start over from whichever side you started on. The first person to fill their smaller jug up to the line will be our next Big Kahuna!" Chris hesitated. "Any questions?"

"How important does a person have to be before they're considered assassinated instead of murdered?" Wisdom asked.

"More important than you," Chris retorted. "Any challenge-related questions?"

"Why don't you specify 'challenge-related questions' at the start?" Wisdom asked.

"You're not even competing in this one, but you know what, fair enough," Chris sighed. "Let's get this Big Kahuna challenge started!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I have placed an immense amount of trust in Godfrey. Should things go according to the plan he proposed, it shouldn't matter who wins Big Kahuna, as Wisdom will be leaving either way. Still, 'twould not hurt to ensure mine own safety.

 **Virgil:** _(He is eating a bag of gummy cherries.)_ This one seems kind of tedious, but I like to think I'm relatively patient. This late in the game, you can't afford not to be. Besides, it'd be tight to be in absolute power, even for just a day.

 **Godfrey:** If the last two rounds have proven anything, it's that the only person I can rely on to keep me safe is myself. People can and will turn against their friends and allies to get ahead. Not that I'm entirely innocent either, but if anything, that's even more incentive to win this challenge.

* * *

The three competing contestants each stood with one hand holding their cup and the other touching their large jug. Godfrey took the red station, Hildegard took the blue station, and Virgil took the yellow station.

"The challenge begins... now!" Chris called.

Each contestant filled their cup and headed for their balance beam. All three of them were careful not to lose their balance as each of them slowly made their way across the beam.

Virgil was the first to make it across successfully, and he poured the contents of his cup into the medium jug. He returned to his balance beam right as Godfrey made it to his jug. Godfrey made it back to his balance beam right as Hildegard made it to her jug.

"The gaps are forming. Will Virgil maintain his lead? Will Hildegard keep lagging behind?" Chris commentated.

"Methinks otherwise," Hildegard insisted as she removed her helmet and breastplate.

"Hildegard, shedding excess weight!" Chris noted.

"Thou worded that unflatteringly on purpose!" Hildegard accused.

Chris shrugged in faux innocence.

Virgil fell off of his balance beam, forcing him back to the medium jug side to start again. Godfrey successfully made it back to his large jug, while Hildegard took a slight lead over Virgil.

"Virgil has quickly gone from first to last place in this challenge!" Chris called.

Virgil shot Chris an annoyed look before focusing back on crossing the balance beam.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** If Godfrey holds true, then I could be guaranteed to make it to the final two. Of course, he may not hold true, so I must be the Big Kahuna! If I am, then he will have no choice but to enact his proposal!

 **Virgil:** Damn, one misstep, and you could drop from first place to last. I'm inclined to pick up the pace so that I can re-take the lead, but if I do, I could just fall off the beam again and fall even further behind. It's a tricky position.

 **Godfrey:** I just need to keep my eye on the ball. Ignore all other distractions, focus entirely on the task at hand. It's how I'm able to get so much programming done, even at lunchtime back at school.

* * *

All three contestants had their jugs about half-full. Just as Godfrey was about to cross to the medium jug side, he fell off the balance beam, forcing back to the large jug side to start over. Hildegard successfully crossed the beam, pouring her cup into the medium jug. Virgil did the same shortly afterward.

"It's still anyone's challenge!" Chris commentated. "The Big Kahuna is an especially enviable position tonight. Which one of you three is going to take it?"

"Lady Hildegard shall reign supreme!" Hildegard insisted as she stepped off the large jug side of the balance beam.

"Is that so?" Virgil smirked as he refilled his cup.

Godfrey poured his cup into the large jug and quickly returned to the balance beam.

"HEY SPEARMINT!" Virgil suddenly shouted.

"Ack!" Hildegard jumped. She lost her balance and fell off the beam. "Such a lowly trick!"

"More lowly than voting out your game-long allies?" Virgil questioned.

"Wouldst thou like to join her?!" Hildegard threatened as she got back onto her balance beam.

"You'll have to win Big Kahuna for that to happen, chief," Virgil taunted.

"And do that, I shall!" Hildegard proclaimed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Whoever wins Big Kahuna will have a lot of power, huh? The outcome of this challenge could dictate how the entire game goes, couldn't it? _(She begins thinking to herself.)_

* * *

All three contestants were very close to filling their medium jugs up to the line.

"It's neck-and-neck-and-neck!" Chris announced. "It all comes down to this!"

Virgil, Godfrey, and Hildegard all emptied their cups into their medium jugs, one after the other. They each returned to their balance beams.

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Virgil's foot slipped off his balance beam about one-third of the way across it, forcing him back to the medium jug side.

"Fuck's sake..." Virgil grumbled.

Godfrey and Hildegard both made it across their balance beam and re-filled their cups. They began their journey back across the balance beam to the medium jug.

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Both contestants made it across, only for Godfrey to maintain his slight lead and fill his medium jug up to the line.

"Chris!" Godfrey called.

Chris looked at Godfrey's jug to confirm that Godfrey had won.

"Congratulations, Godfrey!" Chris announced.

"Yes!" Godfrey cheered.

"You are this round's Big Kahuna!" Chris continued.

"Well done," Hildegard acknowledged.

"That's all I have for everyone tonight," Chris said. "See you guys tomorrow! Unless, I dunno, one of you die in your sleep. Which isn't likely, but I can't rule out the possibility."

"I'll sleep with one eye open," Virgil droned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** I should be relieved that my best ally is the one in power instead of one of the other two, but this late in the game, nothing is guaranteed. If he puts up Spearmint, and she saves herself with Divine Intervention, she'd have the sole vote. Tsk. Guess it's time to start schmoozing some more. Eh, tomorrow.

* * *

Chris sat in the military helicopter.

"It seems like Godfrey's taken a lot of power, but does being Big Kahuna necessarily mean absolute power?" Chris posed. "Anything can happen in the final four of Total Drama Shuffle Party! Who will make it to the final three, and who will be the next to fall? Find out, next time... on Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Makani Island:**

Godfrey - The Mysterious Roboticist

Hildegard - The Paladin

 _Rhiannon - The Porn Star_

 _Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart_

Virgil - The Sweet Tooth

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Ginger - The Snarky Robot_

 _Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger_

 _Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist_

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: I didn't want to eliminate Rhiannon directly after she took the big risk by taking out Shadya, because it felt like the too-obvious move to make, but it ended up making the most sense with the way the plot was heading. Rhiannon was always meant to be a big factor in the game, arguably one of the main protagonists of the season, and she was always meant to make it to the final island, but she was never meant to win. Having the hot, seemingly promiscuous girl end up being smart all along isn't necessarily a groundbreaking concept - hell, I've done it before - but I haven't seen an outright porn star included in an RTV fic before, and I thought it would be an interesting take because it's a subject that people don't tend to talk about despite it applying to most people. Besides, having one of the smartest, most strategic contestants in the season be a porn star just sound fun on paper._

 _Of course, she wasn't just sex and strategy. Her career did have a tangible effect on her and her motivation to win, but she also had a personality that lent itself to a lot of interactions with a lot of the cast. Her interactions with Kirkland, Elmer, Shadya, and, of course, Hildegard were some of my favorites to write in the whole season. But what did you all think about Rhiannon? o:_


	24. Slay The Beast And Be The Hero!

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he sat within the military helicopter. "In the last episode, Wisdom deliberated on whether she should use her powers as Big Kahuna to put her Apoy Island allies in power or to make a big move against them. She ended up sticking with the boys and putting Hildegard and Rhiannon up as Sacrificial Lambs. Meanwhile, Godfrey attempted to solidify his alliance with Hildegard, and Virgil basked in how good his position in the game seemed to him. Hildegard and Rhiannon, of course, wanted to do whatever they could to keep themselves safe.

"Hildegard ended up winning Divine Intervention, and though she thought about using it to save Rhiannon, whom she perceived as a more likely target for elimination, she used it on herself instead. After confronting Godfrey about his shady gameplay, Wisdom named him as the replacement. Godfrey appealed to Hildegard to vote for Rhiannon, and Rhiannon appealed to Virgil to vote for Godfrey. Both of them didn't seem too keen on flipping on their longtime allies, so Rhiannon, for security, appealed to Wisdom to break a potential tie in her favor.

"This didn't end up working for Rhiannon, as, of all people, Hildegard voted her out after Godfrey made a deal that the paladin just couldn't refuse. This may have proven prudent, as Godfrey won the following Big Kahuna challenge. Will Godfrey stay true to his deal with Hildegard? Who will win Divine Intervention? And who will be the next contestant to bite the dust? The answers to all this and more, tonight! On Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

Godfrey and Virgil ate breakfast together in the Tent of Banquets.

"So, I assume the idea for this morning is to have Strawberry and Spearmint as your Sacrificial Lambs, but if the idea involves me being a Lamb, I'd appreciate a heads-up," Virgil mentioned.

"Actually, I do have somewhat of a plan brewing," Godfrey told him. "Hear me out: yesterday, I made a deal with Hildegard to ensure that she would vote to keep me."

"I was awfully confused as to why she'd just ditch Cherry Pie, not that I was complaining," Virgil nodded.

"Anyway, the deal involved keeping Hildegard safe this round," Godfrey continued. "This is where things get tricky."

"...You're not trying to get me eliminated, right?" Virgil asked unsurely.

"Oh, no, absolutely not," Godfrey assured him. "I told Hildegard that she could work with you and me to get Wisdom out this round. She was guaranteed not to win Big Kahuna since she was already Big Kahuna last round. But here's where the plan gets weird."

"How weird are we talking?" Virgil asked.

"I nominate you and Hildegard initially," Godfrey proposed.

"That seems kind of counterintuitive to getting rid of Strawberry, I have to be honest," Virgil said.

"Think about it: both of you are probably better at challenges than Wisdom is, as am I," Godfrey explained. "If the two of you are the initial Lambs, then, if any of the three of us wins Divine Intervention, we can use it to free up a spot for Wisdom."

"What difference does it make if she isn't one of the initial Lambs?" Virgil questioned. "If she is up there with, say, Spearmint, all we have to agree on is that none of us uses it if one of us wins it."

"I did think about that, and I thought of a small problem," Godfrey said. "Let's say Hildegard and Wisdom are the Sacrificial Lambs, and Hildegard wins Divine Intervention. She'd be liable to save herself with it, at which point, I'd be forced to pick you as the replacement. Then she'd cast the sole vote."

"How is that any different from if Spearmint was up against me, and Strawberry was the replacement?" Virgil questioned.

"I guess, functionally, it isn't," Godfrey admitted. "Hm, now that you mention it, if I want to keep Wisdom oblivious, it'd make the most sense to put up her and Hildegard. Wisdom and I had a bit of a fight yesterday, and you and I have known each other for longer than I've known Wisdom anyway. See, this is why I'm glad I can talk to you about this."

"And hey, if I'm not one of the initial Sacrificial Lambs, then there's a two out of four chance of Divine Intervention just not being used," Virgil smirked. "And if Strawberry does stay oblivious, if all else fails and she wins Divine Intervention, she might just vote to ditch Spearmint."

"Also good points," Godfrey smiled. "I'm going to fill Hildegard in on this later. You should probably talk to her about all this after I've done that."

"Oh, should I? I was just going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs, but I like your idea too," Virgil snarked.

"I just want to make sure this all goes off without a hitch," Godfrey said.

"I see," Virgil nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** Well, I'm glad Virgil was receptive to the plan. I knew he and Wisdom had a bit of a past, but even so, backstabbing her and keeping Hildegard is kind of a weird thing to propose. Mostly, I just want to ensure that both people who join me in the final three are people who would one hundred percent take me to the final two if they have the power to decide so. That way, I'd be all but guaranteed to make it to the final two.

 **Virgil:** I'm not sure why Mystery Pop needs Spearmint to outlast Strawberry so badly, but I'm not sure I like it. I mean, either way, he and I should be the final two, and honestly, Strawberry's always going to be easier to beat, so why not get rid of Spearmint now? What difference is it going to make if he stabs her in the back after she was dumb enough to vote out her closest ally? Something's fishy, and not in a Swedish kind of way. _(He begins eating a bag of red gummy fish.)_

* * *

Wisdom approached Hildegard as the paladin carried firewood back to camp.

"Can we talk about something serious?" Wisdom requested.

"What doth thou mean by 'serious'?" Hildegard wondered.

"Firstly, why did you vote for Rhiannon last night?" Wisdom asked. "She would have gone home either way, right? Because if you voted for Godfrey, I'd break the tie to get rid of her, you know? So why damage your bond with her?"

"I had my reasons. I do not owe thee any further explanation," Hildegard said simply.

"Did Godfrey make a deal with you?" Wisdom pressed.

"...Again, I oweth thee nothing," Hildegard maintained.

"So he did, didn't he?" Wisdom figured. "What could he have offered you that would be worth voting out Rhiannon? Final two?"

"Let me guess: thou art also going to offer me final two," Hildegard said.

"'Also'? So he did offer you final two?" Wisdom acknowledged.

"Er..." Hildegard trailed off.

"You know he also has a final two with Virgil, right?" Wisdom told her. "They've been friends since Kairi Island, yeah? And why wouldn't he stay true to that rather than a deal with someone he only really started talking to on this island?"

Hildegard stopped walking, dropped her firewood, and began to cry.

"...Hildegard?" Wisdom asked, concerned.

"Art thou telling me that I betrayed my best friend for naught?!" Hildegard wept. "That Godfrey intended to betray me all along?!"

"Frankly, why wouldn't you immediately assume he would betray you?" Wisdom asked.

"It made so much sense when he said it," Hildegard said as she composed herself. "He truly made it sound like accepting this deal was my best shot at making it to the final two."

"Do you still think it is?" Wisdom asked.

"...Godfrey is the Big Kahuna. I've little choice but to continue as if he was telling the truth," Hildegard said. "Apologies, sweet Wisdom. If it were Virgil in the role of Big Kahuna, I may have been able to discuss ideas with thee, but as it stands, 'twould make little sense to do so."

Wisdom nodded. "Assuming you are chosen as a Sacrificial Lamb, what if I promised that I'd save you if I won Divine Intervention?"

"Over thyself?" Hildegard questioned.

"It's an act of trust, no?" Wisdom rationalized. "I'd be giving the sole vote to you, right? And you could still vote out Virgil, right?"

"Mayhaps," Hildegard thought aloud.

"Just something to think about, you know" Wisdom smiled. "You don't necessarily have to do as Godfrey says, you know?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Content. It seems Lady Wisdom has offered me perhaps a greater deal than Godfrey has. I believe my honorifics, or lack thereof, for the two of them should reflect how I feel about the idea. Nobody speaks on behalf of Lady Hildegard, not, in particular, a man who has spent the better part of a month feigning mental trauma! How dare I allow him to sink his hooks into my mind!

 **Wisdom:** If Godfrey can make deals behind the back of his allies, then why can't I? If he gets to be Big Kahuna, keep a loyal ally in Virgil, and work over Hildegard, then why shouldn't I do whatever I can to keep things from going south for me? The obvious conclusion, assuming he's being honest to Hildegard, is that I'd be his target, right? Then again, can I even assume he's being honest to Hildegard? How would that benefit him?

* * *

Godfrey approached Hildegard as she put her recent harvest of firewood by the shelter.

"Hey, Hildegard!" Godfrey smiled. "I'd like to pitch my plan for today to you."

"What is it?" Hildegard asked.

"As I said yesterday, the plan is to get Wisdom out," Godfrey recapped. "I want to keep her as in-the-dark as possible, so I'm going to select you and her as the Sacrificial Lambs. If Virgil or I win Divine Intervention, we just won't use it, and Virgil will vote for Wisdom. If you win it, I guess you can do with it as you see fit."

"And if Wisdom wins it?" Hildegard questioned.

"We make sure she doesn't win it," Godfrey said. "I'd say the odds are in our favor. I know she's won challenges in the past, but I feel like a lot of those boiled down to luck and/or help from others."

"Would Wisdom being a Sacrificial Lamb not drive her to win more than if she were not?" Hildegard mentioned.

"I did consider that, but I talked it over with Virgil, and I came to the conclusion that this will probably be the better setup for the plan going in," Godfrey explained.

"Well, of course Virgil would convince thee to do so! It means he won't be a Sacrificial Lamb!" Hildegard pointed out.

"Heh. I guess that's true," Godfrey acknowledged, amused. "But I agree with him that, if I don't pick him, Wisdom would be less likely to suspect anything."

"And thou art sure that this will result in her victory being less likely than if she was not a Lamb, to begin with," Hildegard reiterated.

"Honestly, I have no idea, but I kind of want to stick to one idea, because if I go back and forth on this, I'm just going to drive myself crazy," Godfrey admitted. "But I assume you're okay with being chosen as a Sacrificial Lamb as well? Obviously, you'd be safe no matter what, but the principle of the thing..."

"I understand thy plan, believe me," Hildegard said.

"Well that's good," Godfrey smiled. "Here's to the final two!"

Hildegard smirked and nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Ha! Lady Wisdom was indeed correct! Godfrey truly is attempting to play me for a fool and take Virgil to the final two with him! I will continue to pretend that I am on his side, but do know that I will do whatever I can to ensure that Lady Wisdom joins me in the final three!

 **Godfrey:** Alright, now that the plan has been established to both of my allies, it's time to set it in motion. Although... damn, is Hildegard onto something about Wisdom not trying as hard to win Divine Intervention if she doesn't need to save herself? I'd thought about it before, but it might actually be a bigger factor than I'd thought. Hm...

* * *

The final four met up at the ceremony shrine. Each of them sat in a camp chair while Chris stood behind the lectern on the raised platform.

"Welcome to the Sacrificial Lamb ceremony!" Chris began. "Godfrey, as the Big Kahuna, you must now select two of your fellow contestants to be Sacrificial Lambs. I trust you've come to your final decision by now, so please get up behind the podium and make your calls!"

Chris stepped to the side. Godfrey took the cue and made his way up behind the lectern.

"Alright, I guess there's no point in delaying what is painfully obvious, "Godfrey said. "I select Hildegard and Wisdom as Sacrificial Lambs."

Both girls nodded in understanding and took their seats in the uncomfortable wooden chairs on the stage.

"Obviously, we're running out of options out here," Godfrey rationalized. "Hildegard, we just haven't really been able to work together as much as others have been able to work with me. No fault of yours. Wisdom, obviously you selected me as the replacement Sacrificial Lamb yesterday. Again, little fault of yours since there were so few options, but I hope you understand why I've chosen you to sit next to Hildegard. That's all I have to say. Good luck to both of you in the Divine Intervention challenge."

Godfrey stepped down and returned to his prior seat.

"And thus, our Sacrificial Lambs have been selected!" Chris announced as he stood behind the lectern. "The Divine Intervention challenge will be held in a few hours, so stay tuned for that! Until then, you're all dismissed!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Shocker, right? But at least Hildegard's in my corner, right? ...She is, right? I shouldn't overthink it, should I? Relying on her to stick with me is my best option right now, isn't it? Should I talk to Virgil, too? I probably should, huh?

 **Hildegard:** It matters not whether I am chosen as a Sacrificial Lamb or not! All that matters is that I win Divine Intervention! Whoever wins Divine Intervention this round will have all the power, and I must make sure it is myself who is victorious! If Lady Shadya, Lady Jessica, young Tegan cannot win, then I shall, for their sake!

* * *

Wisdom met up with Virgil away from camp.

"What's the haps, Strawberry?" Virgil asked. "Desperate to make sure I won't vote for you if you're still in danger tonight?"

"Can you blame me?" Wisdom asked. "Would you not do the same if you were in my position?"

"You know what, that's fair," Virgil conceded. "Naw, you don't have to worry, though. Spearmint's always going to be a bigger threat than you are. No offense."

"None taken, but can you trust her?" Wisdom confronted.

"I... never claimed to," Virgil said, slightly confused.

"Are you not privy to Godfrey's deal with Hildegard?" Wisdom asked.

"I am not," Virgil lied. "Do tell."

"Did you know Godfrey has offered Hildegard a spot in the final two?" Wisdom asked.

"Well he can offer whatever he wants, but that doesn't mean he's going to go through with it," Virgil said. "He was probably just trying to get her to not vote him out last night."

"Perhaps, but is it worth the risk of letting her in the final three and having him vote her out?" Wisdom asked.

"Yeah, you'll have to excuse me if I have trouble believing Mystery Pop is going to betray one of his closest and most consistent allies for some chick he just started talking to the other day," Virgil doubted.

"So you'd vote for me if Divine Intervention isn't used?" Wisdom frowned.

"I didn't say that. I just don't think Spearmint's as dangerous as you're making her out to be," Virgil said.

Wisdom's brow furrowed. "So you're perfectly fine with Godfrey making final two deals without you because you trust him that much, huh?"

"What's wrong with that?" Virgil shrugged. "I do trust him. You don't?"

"Well, it seems I'm the only person he hasn't made a final two deal with, doesn't it?" Wisdom huffed. "Why shouldn't I be wary of that if he's offering one to Hildegard?"

"I guess that's fair, but I don't think you have anything to worry about tonight," Virgil assured her. "If any of our alliance wins Divine Intervention, then we can make sure either you or I would be the sole vote and just drop Spearmint."

"Hildegard is better at challenges than you are, you know?" Wisdom brought up.

"I guess, but that doesn't mean there's zero chance of me winning," Virgil figured. "Stranger things have happened. Either way, I don't think there's anything to worry about."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Damn, Strawberry's playing hard. Like I said, I can't necessarily blame her when she's the only one Mystery Pop hasn't made a final two deal with, real or otherwise. Either way, keeping the plan to get rid of her a secret is harder than I thought it'd be. If I let one contradiction slip, then I'm as good as a two-day-old donut.

 **Wisdom:** Ugh, why shouldn't Virgil be relaxed in the face of all this? He trusts Godfrey perfectly, and, again, why shouldn't he? Godfrey probably would take Virgil to the final two because he's loyal and not very good at challenges, huh? Of course, this makes things clear for me and Hildegard doesn't it? All we have to do is make sure one of us wins Divine Intervention, force Virgil as the new Lamb, and vote him off, huh? _(She smiles.)_

* * *

Godfrey and Hildegard sat in the shelter.

"Have you spoken with Virgil yet?" Godfrey asked.

"Not yet," Hildegard answered.

"He seemed to be on board with the plan, but I can't claim to speak entirely for him," Godfrey said. "I can assume he'd vote to keep you all I want, but anything can happen. It probably wouldn't hurt to talk to him."

"I know, I've simply yet to get around to it," Hildegard sighed. "This all assuming I don't win Divine Intervention."

"I, er, I guess," Godfrey half-agreed.

"Thou didn't think I would refrain from ensuring mine own safety if I were to win the Divine Intervention challenge, didst thou?" Hildegard asked. "Plan or no, 'twould be foolish to do otherwise."

"I guess the trust between you and Virgil would be even more important, then," Godfrey chuckled. "Trust for you to save him and for him to save you."

"Thou don't say," Hildegard said flatly.

"I just really want this to succeed," Godfrey said. "It's the best way for both of us to make it to the final two. I'm not entirely sure how the final three round will go, but either way, it should be easy to get rid of Virgil afterward."

"So I'm to establish trust only to break it the next day, aye?" Hildegard mentioned.

"I guess it does sound strange when you put it like that, but yeah," Godfrey confirmed. "But hey, what are you going to do when there are three people left in the game?"

"A point indeed," Hildegard nodded. "Either way, I should be guaranteed final two, aye?"

"Aye," Godfrey smiled. "I wouldn't ask you to vote against Rhiannon if I didn't fully intend to take you to the end. I know it upset you to do that, so I really appreciate you making that sacrifice."

"Thou... made some excellent points about how risky keeping her would be," Hildegard admitted.

"...Do you regret what you did?" Godfrey asked.

"What sort of question is that?!" Hildegard snapped.

"I've had to vote out a couple of my friends in this game," Godfrey told her. "It sucked, but each and every time, it was what I decided was best for my game. Hiram was mentally unstable. Roxie grew to hate me after she came to believe I was Ginger's robot. Ginger, of course, was the easier member of the Purple Pair to defeat, and getting rid of her made sure that I was able to make it to the next island at all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I understand where your head is right now, and if you want to talk about it, I'm open to listening."

"I shall refrain, but I appreciate the offer," Hildegard told him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** The more I speak with Godfrey, the less sincere he sounds. And now he speaks of how he relates to me?! 'Tis clear to me that he is very used to being in full control, likely because he works so much with computers or somesuch. Feh! Lady Hildegard is controlled by no one but herself! How does everyone not understand this yet?!

 **Godfrey:** I do still have regrets about some of the things I've had to do in this game. I don't have a lot of friends in real life since I spend so much of my time programming and engineering, so having to betray anybody sucks immensely. I... still think about Roxie a lot. _(He sighs.)_ The prize money is going to make it all worth it.

* * *

Hildegard and Virgil were the only ones eating in the Tent of Banquets.

"So... art thou still destroying thy teeth with sugar-laden symbols of gluttony and hedonism?" Hildegard began.

"I mean, I can stop eating them in front of you if you want," Virgil offered.

"Gramercy," Hildegard nodded. "Anyway, Godfrey says he wishes for us to establish more trust with one another going forward."

"That would be ideal," Virgil nodded. "And hey, you reaching out is a pretty good first step. I already trust you a little more."

"No kidding?" Hildegard commented.

"I mean, I have trouble trusting anyone who speaks ill of sweets, but that's more of a personal thing," Virgil chuckled.

"'Tis not that I dislike desserts!" Hildegard told him. "I simply believe that unnecessary excess indulgence is unhealthy, among other things!"

"Other things?" Virgil asked.

"Think no more of it," Hildegard dismissed. "I'm told that thy relationship with Wisdom has been strained in the past."

"Yeah, tricking my closest ally into splitting his vote so he could be eliminated first isn't a good way to get into my good graces," Virgil frowned.

"My then-closest ally was eliminated from this game second," Hildegard nodded. "'Tis truly unfortunate. Mercifully, we were able to eliminate her aggressor two days later."

"Lucky. It took until right before we merged to get rid of Dean, and then a few more days after that to get rid of Gretchen," Virgil said. "You're the last person left from your original team, right?"

"Verily. Fitting indeed, as I was the one to name the Knights of Goodness," Hildegard confirmed.

"I was the one to name my team, too, so that works out," Virgil smirked. "I mean, Strawberry is still here, but ideally not for long."

"Why dost thou refer to her as such if thou feels such disdain for her?" Hildegard asked.

"Force of habit, at this point," Virgil said. "I'd been calling her that since before she screwed my early alliance over."

"And thy nickname for me is Spearmint, aye?" Hildegard asked.

"Yep. I'm proud of that one," Virgil grinned.

"I will concede that it is clever," Hildegard admitted. "Didst thou come up with nicknames for everyone?"

"For most people," Virgil answered. "A bunch of the people who went home before the merge don't have any. Like what's-her-face who got voted out on The Best Team. Got nothing for her. And, hell, Elmer had so little going for him that to this day I can't think of anything to call him."

"Elmer. Truly, someone I have not missed," Hildegard commented.

"I thought you were his ally," Virgil mentioned.

"Thou were not there," Hildegard laughed. "Allow me to make clear the details for thee."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Though I doth not plan to stay true to this deal with Godfrey, t'would benefit me, in the long run, to make good with Virgil anyway. If he or Godfrey win Divine Intervention, then my fate would be entirely in Virgil's hands. Better safe than sorry.

 **Virgil:** I'm still not entirely sure why Mystery Pop insists on keeping Spearmint around when Strawberry's probably going to be easier to beat in the long run, anyway. I guess Strawberry's got his number now, for one reason or another. I can't help but wonder if it might benefit me more, then, if I'm in the final three with both of them. I doubt they'd bring each other to final two, you dig?

* * *

The final four met up with Chris at a spot that had a large circle drawn on the ground with a rope. Next to Chris were four leaf blowers.

"Alright, kiddos. It's time for that all-important Divine Intervention challenge!" Chris announced.

"Is the challenge to clean up your lawn?" Virgil remarked as he pointed his eyes at the leaf blowers.

"Don't think I won't make you," Chris droned. "Actually, this challenge is a challenge of endurance and resilience, and maybe even a bit of strategy. As you can all clearly see, each of you will be getting a leaf blower. You'll all be stationed equidistantly within this circle of rope. Your job is to harness the power of the wind itself to force your opponents out of the circle. By which I mean to force them outside of the circle with the leaf blower. Quite apropos to the island of wind's perseverance, no? If you step outside of the circle, of course, you'll be out of the challenge, but you'll also be out of the challenge if your leaf blower runs out of battery, so you can't just have the thing running constantly and expect to win that way." Chris sighed and looked at Wisdom knowingly. "Any questions?"

"Why bother including a rule wherein running out of battery means an automatic loss if someone whose leaf blower is out of battery wouldn't be able to blow their opponent or opponents out of the circle either way?" Wisdom asked.

"Oh, that's... Well, we can't count out the possibility that their opponent could step out of the circle on accident," Chris answered.

"How can we know if one's battery has depleted, or if someone is just withholding their power for later?" Wisdom asked.

"The light on the battery pack will go out once the battery's been all used up," Chris explained.

"This is a lot of explanation for such a straightforward challenge," Hildegard stated.

"Hey, she had legitimate questions this time," Chris maintained. "Anything else?"

Wisdom shook her head.

"Alright, let's get this challenge going!" Chris decided with a clap of his hands.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** A paladin such as myself has never used such a high-tech weapon before, but I will have to use the tools I am provided if I am to slay the beast and be the hero!

 **Wisdom:** Will being relatively lightweight be my undoing in this challenge? Hm, then again, has it ever in the past? But then, would it matter more in this challenge in particular? I guess there's only one way to find out, hm?

* * *

Each contestant wielded a leaf blower and stood equidistantly from each other within the rope circle.

"On your marks... get set..." Chris signaled the start of the challenge by blowing an air horn.

The contestants were all hesitant to make the first move, and all of them slowly inched forward.

"Oh, out upon it!" Hildegard decided. She aimed her leaf blower at Godfrey and began to blow.

The machine proved much more powerful than the average leaf blower, catching both the paladin and the roboticist off guard for a second. Hildegard bent her knees to remain steady, while Godfrey was forced to take several steps backward before he was able to do the same.

"Well, let the games begin," Godfrey decided. He aimed his leaf blower at Wisdom and began to blow.

"Ah?!" Wisdom gasped as she struggled to regain her footing.

Virgil glanced at Wisdom and turned his leaf blower against her as well.

"You too?!" Wisdom cried as she couldn't stop herself from walking backward.

"Ganging up on a small girl?! Despicable!" Hildegard scolded.

"She's our age. Leave her height out of it," Godfrey remarked.

Hildegard blew her leaf blower at Godfrey once again. Wisdom did the same. With two leaf blowers each pointed at both Wisdom and Godfrey, distance increased between the two of them until neither of them really affected the other. Virgil and Hildegard kept aim at their respective targets, and with Wisdom already having been blown back as much as she had, it wasn't difficult for her to accidentally step back out of the rope ring.

"Wisdom is out of the challenge!" Chris announced.

"Out on it!" Hildegard yelled indignantly.

"Since when does she care about Strawberry?" Virgil asked Godfrey.

"Since the final four, I bet," Godfrey muttered back.

"Victory shall be Lady Hildegard's!" Hildegard declared.

Hildegard turned her leaf blower against Virgil and walked towards him. Even though both of them were blowing at each other, and Godfrey was still blowing at Hildegard, Virgil had no choice but to back up as she approached him.

"Whoa now. Don't do that," Virgil said as nonchalantly as he could while struggling to keep his feet planted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** First out, hm? I guess there isn't much point in anyone pretending anything anymore, is there? Especially now that I'm all but guaranteed to be up for elimination tonight, huh?

* * *

Hildegard and Virgil continued pointing their leaf blowers at one another, while Godfrey continued to point his a Hildegard. Hildegard struggled to stay standing with strong winds blowing at her from two different directions, but she managed to keep her footing as she inched towards Virgil.

"Virgil, dude, just step away from the rope," Godfrey urged.

"Easier said than done, my man," Virgil grunted. "The second I break focus, I'm probably stepping backward and out of the ring, anyway."

"Listen to Godfrey. He has only thy best intentions in mind," Hildegard chuckled.

"That's funny. You're funny, Spearmint," Virgil said flatly.

Godfrey stepped closer to Hildegard, but she was not deterred to step away as Virgil was to her.

"Don't tell me... her armor matters," Godfrey grunted.

"Har! Why dost thou think I came so equipped?! To protect me from all who mean to harm me or my game!" Hildegard bragged.

Godfrey aimed his leaf blower upward at Hildegard's head, blowing her helmet right off.

"Out, fiend!" Hildegard scolded. She subconsciously twisted her body to face Godfrey better, taking the gust of her leaf blower away from Virgil.

"Oh, thank goodness," Virgil said with a sigh of relief.

"What are you thanking? You're out, dude," Chris chuckled.

Virgil looked down at his feet to see that he had indeed stepped over the rope.

"Well shoot, darn, and even drat," Virgil groaned.

"It's Godfrey versus Hildegard!" Chris announced. "Who will take Divine Intervention?!"

" _I_ will!" both contestants insisted in unison.

They both gritted their teeth as they aimed their leaf blowers at one another, struggling to keep their own balance all the while.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Well, as far as stakes go, this is about the stakiest challenge I've seen in a minute. Either Mystery Pop wins and the plan goes smoothly, or Spearmint wins, saves herself, gives herself the sole vote, and forces me onto the chopping block. I haven't been this scared for my life since I found out they stopped making Yogos. I still miss those things.

* * *

Hildegard managed to back Godfrey closer to the center of the ring, and get herself further away from the edge, in turn.

"Do you think one of them is going to wear their battery pack out?" Wisdom wondered.

"I don't know. Spearmint seems to be more capable of making the ground she wants to make, here," Virgil said.

Godfrey stepped to the side of Hildegard's airstream with his leaf blower still running, forcing her to take a few steps back before she was able to re-adjust herself.

"Oh! Is this the game thou wisheth to play?!" Hildegard challenged. "I hope that thou know that thy tactic is easily learned!"

Hildegard stepped to the side of Godfrey's airstream with her leaf blower still running, forcing him to take a few steps back before he was able to re-adjust himself. The two continued to walk in circles with their leaf blowers active.

"So, what, are we going until one of us runs out of battery?" Godfrey asked.

"Har! What dost thou take me for?!" Hildegard scoffed.

Hildegard walked towards Godfrey in spite of his efforts to circle around her, forcing the roboticist to walk back once again.

"If thou trusteth me, then thou hast no reason to keep fighting," Hildegard said quietly enough that only Godfrey could hear her.

"I could say the same to you," Godfrey responded.

"Of course, I am the one with initiative," Hildegard reminded him as she continued to inch him towards the rope boundary.

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Godfrey stepped to the side of Hildegard's airstream right near the rope, but Hildegard was able to rectify her aim and force him out of the ring.

"And that does it!" Chris announced. "Hildegard wins Divine Intervention!"

"Hey-ho, sing hey-ho!" Hildegard cheered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Ha ha! My safety is ensured! I dare anyone to attempt to stop me from carving a path forward towards ultimate victory! Many have tried, and all have failed!

 **Godfrey:** I guess she wasn't wrong about how, if I trusted her, I could have just let her win, but for one, a public display of trust like that in front of Wisdom would set off a ton of red flags, and for two, I don't trust her one hundred percent. That would be foolish, especially this late into the game. I'll have to touch base with her later.

* * *

Godfrey and Hildegard both sat in the shelter.

"Congrats on your win. One step closer to final two," Godfrey complimented.

"Thou certainly fought me for it," Hildegard noted.

"Well, I had to keep up appearances in front of Wisdom. Can't really blindside her if she's onto us," Godfrey rationalized. "Which reminds me, how was your talk with Virgil?"

"Quite well, I do say," Hildegard assured him. "I do believe trust has formed between us."

"That's good," Godfrey nodded. "Did he offer to share candy with you? That's a big sign of trust with him."

"Nay, and for the best!" Hildegard shook her head. "I would not eat something with no nutritional value in a setting where my body should be in top shape!"

"Fair enough," Godfrey chuckled. "Now that I think about it, I can't recall him offering me any candy."

"Mayhaps he plans on throwing thee to the wolves at his earliest convenience," Hildegard joked.

"True. Better watch out for him," Godfrey played along.

"...Has Virgil accomplished anything of his own in this game?" Hildegard wondered aloud.

"I want to say yes, but I can't think of anything specific off the top of my head," Godfrey answered. "But if he hasn't, I guess that means he's no threat to us, huh?"

"Perhaps not. How regrettable that one can work hard only for someone like him to make it so much farther than them!" Hildegard lamented.

"I mean, he's still a cool guy," Godfrey defended. "I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say it's insulting for him to have made it this far."

"He is the very picture of hedonism," Hildegard disagreed.

"He's still my friend," Godfrey frowned. "If you're going to talk like that about him, I'd rather you not do it in front of me."

"Be not so fragile in the face of criticism towards someone who isn't thee," Hildegard dismissed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** It's starting to sound more and more like Hildegard wants Virgil gone. And once she saves herself with Divine Intervention, Virgil will be the new Sacrificial Lamb and she'll have the sole vote. I don't want to push too hard for her to vote out Wisdom, lest I make her mad and not want to take me to the final two, but I also want for my plan to actually, you know, happen.

 **Hildegard:** I may not be holding my cards as close to my chest as I ought, but truly, what can Godfrey do to prevent me from eliminating Virgil? E'en if he doth catch on, he is powerless before the mighty Lady Hildegard!

* * *

Twilight shone over Makani Island. Hildegard and Wisdom sat in their seats on the raised platform, while Chris stood behind the lectern.

"Welcome, one and all, to the Divine Intervention ceremony!" Chris announced. "Hildegard, you have won the power of Divine Intervention, and you can use it to save one of the Sacrificial Lambs from the slaughter! In doing so, the Big Kahuna, Godfrey, will have to choose a replacement Sacrificial Lamb. It is time to make your decision."

Chris stepped away from the lectern, prompting Hildegard to step up.

"To the surprise of I'm sure nobody, I shall be saving myself!" Hildegard announced.

Hildegard dipped her fingers in the bowl of Holy Water and sprinkled herself with it.

"Wasting no time, I see," Chris commented. "Godfrey, it's your turn."

"Is that really necessary?" Godfrey questioned.

"It's your job as Big Kahuna, buddy," Chris grinned. "Unless you want to get disqualified for not following the rules..."

"Alright, geez," Godfrey grimaced as he made his way up to the lectern. "Well, I guess I have to outright say it. Virgil, you're literally the only person I can pick. Take your seat."

Virgil let out a small sigh as he made his way into the seat where Hildegard had just sat.

"All I have to say at this point is best of luck to both Sacrificial Lambs," Godfrey stated. "It's been an honor to play the game with both of you, and no matter who goes, this elimination is going to hurt."

Godfrey returned to his seat off the stage.

"Alright, that's going to be that, I guess," Chris said. "I'll see you all again tonight for the oh-so-painful elimination! Hehaha."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I do not know if Chris or the other producers anticipated such a monopoly of power to she who wins Divine Intervention in the final four, but regardless, I am proud to be the arbiter of everybody's fate tonight! This must be the point in the quest where the heroine gains the ultimate spell or the legendary sword! I did always wish to wield the almighty Gungnir.

 **Virgil:** Well, I've got _some_ kind of rapport with Spearmint, but I need to make sure everything is one hundred percent with her. Make deals, throw Strawberry under the bus, hell, I'll throw Mystery Pop under the bus at this point. It's not like he hasn't been making promises to eliminate me.

* * *

Virgil met up with Hildegard away from camp.

"I suppose thou wish to ensure thy safety tonight in light of thy status as a Sacrificial Lamb," Hildegard deduced.

"Actually, I was hoping to discuss the ins and outs of Brexit, but your idea works too, I guess," Virgil smirked.

"If thy strategy is to win me over by making me laugh, then thou will have to try harder," Hildegard said.

"But you _do_ acknowledge that what I said was funny," Virgil pointed out. "Anyway, look, I know you respect honesty, so I'm just going to give it to you straight: I want to take you to the final two."

"Quite a development given our lack of a working relationship all game," Hildegard mentioned.

"I'm not lying," Virgil insisted. "I know you and Strawberry have been talking, but can you really trust her? After she's spent the entire game actively working against you and your allies?"

"As if that matters at this point," Hildegard dismissed. "There art four of us left. Three of thee have been working together since the last island. That has not stopped all three of thee from attempting to make deals with me."

"Alright, but I've got something the other two don't have. And I'm not just talking about coffee-flavored hard candy," Virgil promised.

"And what is that?" Hildegard asked.

"They're the little candies that you suck on for like ten minutes and they taste like-"

"Thou know what I meant!" Hildegard snapped.

"Alright, alright," Virgil laughed. "What I have that the others have is... no challenge skill."

"That sounds like something thou dost not have," Hildegard pointed out.

"Nah, nah, hear me out," Virgil insisted. "The final round is almost always a challenge. Mystery Pop and Strawberry have both proven that they can win those. I haven't won jack shit since that sword-pulling challenge on the last island, and even then that was mostly because all the other pairs were dealing with the Gingersnap drama. Before that, it was the bear race on the first island. If you take me to the final two with you, you're going to have the easiest time winning."

"I... cannot refute that so easily," Hildegard conceded.

"And hey, I might even have sugar-free gum on hand if that isn't enough," Virgil added. "You'll never guess what flavor."

"Spearmint?" Hildegard guessed flatly.

"No, you're Spearmint. I'm Virgil," Virgil grinned cheekily.

Hildegard glared at him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Virgil:** Will I actually take Spearmint to the final two? I wouldn't have made it this far if I wasn't open to ideas. I'm not sure she'd be easier to beat in a challenge than Mystery Pop or Strawberry, but if I suspect that eliminated contestants might be voting for a winner like in Total Drama Action, then keeping my word to her might be more beneficial.

 **Hildegard:** I still have trouble trusting Virgil fully, but he doth make a good point about his lack of challenge skill. I've much to think about when it comes to tonight's vote. I pray that I make the correct move.

* * *

Godfrey and Wisdom both ate dinner in the Tent of Banquets.

"So hey, whatever happens, no hard feelings, right?" Godfrey offered her.

"Why do you say that as if you know I'm leaving?" Wisdom asked awkwardly.

"I said 'whatever happens'," Godfrey twitched.

"But why would you say 'no hard feelings' if you didn't think I was leaving?" Wisdom mentioned. "If you thought I was staying, you wouldn't need to tell me that, right?"

"I guess there's no sense in beating around the bush," Godfrey said. "I've made deals with Hildegard, and I imagine you have as well. Either she sides with me and Virgil, and votes for you, or she sides with you, and votes for Virgil. Losing Virgil would put me at an immense disadvantage. If that happens, then I'm offering you a preemptive 'no hard feelings'."

"Quite candid, are we?" Wisdom stated.

"And to think we were working so well together just a few days ago," Godfrey lamented. "Confiding in one another about our emotions and all that."

"They say this game does things to you, don't they?" Wisdom agreed. "Could this be what they mean?"

"Well, I'm not sure who 'they' are, but I definitely believe it," Godfrey said. "For what it's worth, I do consider you a friend, and, even if we're working against each other in the game right now, that doesn't have to change."

"You... think of me as a friend?" Wisdom asked.

"Do you not think of me as a friend?" Godfrey frowned.

"Could it be that 'friend' is a much more meaningful word to me than it is to you?" Wisdom explained. "We get along relatively well and all that, but we aren't super-duper close, yeah?"

"I suppose that's fair enough," Godfrey conceded. "In that case, have you made any friends in this game?"

"...I've made one or two," Wisdom smiled.

"That's good," Godfrey smiled. "By your meaning of 'friend', I've made one or two as well."

"Does Ginger count?" Wisdom asked.

"Considering how much I've learned about her and from her since the test routines, I'd definitely say so," Godfrey beamed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Is Godfrey just trying to get on my good side because he's afraid Virgil is going to go home? Should I be more wary of him? Or is he being genuine? Can you blame me for not being able to tell? He's proven himself good at manipulation in the past, no?

* * *

Night had fallen, and the final four had gathered at the shrine. Chris stood at the lectern, and Virgil and Wisdom sat in the seats behind him.

"Welcome to the elimination ceremony!" Chris announced. "In just a few minutes, Hildegard will cast her vote to eliminate either Virgil or Wisdom! Before that happens, though, I'm going to let both of the Sacrificial Lambs plead their case to those voting. Give one last speech that might change her mind. Wisdom, you can go first."

Chris stood aside, allowing Wisdom to stand behind the lectern.

"What is there to say that hasn't already been said?" Wisdom began. "She who wins Divine Intervention has all the power tonight, right? Who am I to try and convince Hildegard of anything when she's likely already reached her decision? Not that I don't think she should save me, you know? But why waste time?"

Wisdom returned to her seat.

"Er, okay," Chris said. "Virgil, your turn."

Virgil walked up to the lectern. "Like Strawberry said, we've already pleaded our cases to Her Knightliness. Of course, I urge our fair Lady Spearmint to think hard about what I offered her when she casts her vote. I think it'd be the most beneficial move for all four of us."

Wisdom rolled her eyes as Virgil sat back down.

"Damn, if I didn't know better, I'd think you guys weren't excited about one of you getting voted out," Chris chuckled. "Fair enough, I guess. Hildegard, go cast your vote."

Hildegard made her way to the confessional booth.

* * *

After the vote was cast, Chris returned behind the lectern.

"Hildegard has spoken!" Chris announced. "And she cast her vote for..."

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...

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"Virgil, I'm sorry, but your time is up!" Chris announced.

"Shit," Virgil swore. "You ever do that thing where you try to tell yourself that the worst-case scenario is going to happen, but in the back of your mind you're like 'Naw, my luck is better than that. I'll be good'?"

"Apologies, but I felt this the safest option for mine own game," Hildegard told him.

"Can't fault you for that," Virgil sighed. "Shit, I was so close, too."

"Well, since you guys don't want to waste time, we might as well make our way to the Elevator of Losers," Chris urged.

"Damn..." Virgil sighed.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Hildegard:** Truth be told, Virgil is the one person left in this game with whom I hold no trust in taking me to the final two! 'Twas not until the blade of elimination touched his neck that he begged for his life. Morbid though it may sound, I must be the one to drive that blade home!

* * *

Chris led Virgil and the final three to the Elevator of Losers.

"Shame to see you go, man," Godfrey tsked. "You've been a great ally and a great friend."

"You too," Virgil returned. He looked to Wisdom. "Good game, I guess. You screwed me over on round one and still managed to convince me I could trust you. I've got no one to blame for this but myself."

"You're still hung up on that?" Wisdom winced. "You think this is personal? Besides, I'm not the one who voted for you, you know?"

"Fie! 'Tis no personal matter for myself, either!" Hildegard reacted.

"It's the final four. I get it," Virgil assuaged. "Well, I imagine I'll be seeing y'all soon. Hopefully, things don't get too bitter without all my sweet talk." Virgil winked.

"Agree to disagree," Chris grinned.

Virgil stuck a lollipop into his mouth as he stepped into the Elevator of Losers. Chris lowered him down to the losers' area below.

"Alright, boys and- er, boy and girls. Are you ready for your challenge?!" Chris asked the contestants.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** Well, that's embarrassing. My most trusted and consistent ally went home during my reign as Big Kahuna. And I can't imagine either of the girls is going to be too keen on letting me into the final two. ...Fuck.

* * *

Chris led the final three to an area with a totem pole in Chris's likeness as well as three pairs of two large wooden pegs surrounding it. Each pair of pegs had one larger than the other and closer to the totem pole.

"Welcome to your final Big Kahuna challenge!" Chris announced. "As this is the final three, all three of you will be eligible to participate in this one."

"Oh, thank god," Godfrey said with a sigh of relief.

"What's the challenge?" Wisdom asked.

"Alright, here it is," Chris said. "All three of you will stand on the pegs in your bare feet while keeping a hand on the totem pole. If you take your hand off the totem pole, you're out of the challenge. If you take a foot off its peg, you're out of the challenge. Whoever lasts the longest will be the Big Kahuna, and will immediately eliminate one of their fellow contestants tonight."

"Wait, tonight?!" Wisdom gasped.

"That's right. One of you will be following Virgil down that elevator before anyone gets any chance to sleep or anything. Hehaha," Chris beamed.

"This doth not waver Lady Hildegard!" Hildegard insisted.

"So the final challenge is tomorrow?" Godfrey asked.

"Well, I keep saying things like 'tonight' and 'tomorrow', but there's no guarantee that this challenge won't last all night," Chris said.

"This seems like poor planning," Hildegard commented.

"Alright, the final challenge will be tomorrow, no matter how long it takes you guys to do this," Chris clarified.

The final three all looked at each other nervously.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** Is this meant to be some sort of torture for us to weather? Ha! I am a knight! I've tempered my body in the flames of adversity for years! I've taken math tests that will be harder than this!

 **Wisdom:** All three of us are playing, huh? So Godfrey could still win, huh? Do you think he'd take me to the final two? Is it worth the risk of finding out? What choice do I have but to give this my all?!

 **Godfrey:** Like I said, I can't imagine Hildegard or Wisdom is at all keen to take me to the final two. _Maybe_ Wisdom, if she gets the idea that Hildegard is better at challenges than I am, but those aren't exactly odds I want to put all my chips into.

* * *

The final three all took their positions standing on the pegs, each with a hand on the totem pole.

"Those pegs are just big enough to be stood on, but not big enough to support your whole foot," Chris drove home. "Have fun! Hehaha."

"I shall," Hildegard said.

"Three players remain, and each of them wants, no, _needs_ to win this challenge," Chris said. "Who will cement their spot in the final two, and who will lose it all just one episode before our final challenge? It's going to be a tough fight for safety on the next exciting episode of Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Makani Island:**

Godfrey - The Mysterious Roboticist

Hildegard - The Paladin

 _Rhiannon - The Porn Star_

 _Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart_

 _Virgil - The Sweet Tooth_

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Ginger - The Snarky Robot_

 _Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger_

 _Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist_

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: I think I've said in the past how the endgame of these kinds of stories needs someone more down-to-earth in order to keep things from getting overbearing. Virgil was never really meant to be a majorly important character, but I knew I wanted him to get far because I knew I'd have everyone else playing hard by this point, and I figured he'd be a more chill, laidback kind of presence that could help break up the constant gameplay. I think Virgil really leaned more into the social game than the mental or physical game, since, by his own admission, he never really won challenges, and he usually stuck by Jim, Nestor, or Godfrey and whatever strategies they'd come up with._

 _Of course, with purely social players, it's easy to fall into the trap of them feeling disconnected from the actual ~plot~ of the story, since this is a game and a lot of what goes down depends on how the game goes. I did sprinkle in little character moments regarding his sexuality here and there, and there were his on-again-off-again rivalries with Gretchen and Wisdom, but otherwise, I'd admit, Virgil didn't really have much of an arc per se. With Virgil, my main priority was to have his personality be his entertainment value. For some, it worked, for others, it didn't. I was going to drop him in the last episode, actually, but it didn't make as much sense with how the plot was going as I would have hoped. Regardless, now Virgil is gone. What did y'all think of Virgil?_


	25. It's Do Or Die Right Now

"And we're back to Total Drama Shuffle Party!" Chris said as he sat within the military helicopter. "In the last episode, Godfrey found himself in a position where he could only select people he'd made deals with as potential Sacrificial Lambs, and needed to keep everyone convinced that they were still his number one in spite of everything. Needless to say, some people were less than convinced. Hehaha. Hildegard and Wisdom formed a final two deal, recognizing that Godfrey was pretty likely to take Virgil to the final two with him, while Virgil drummed up a rapport with Hildegard to make sure that she would stick by him and Godfrey.

"The Divine Intervention challenge saw the final four using super-strong leaf blowers to try and get one another out of the ring. Hildegard managed to persevere her way into power, and she removed herself from danger and put Virgil in her place. This also granted her the sole vote of the night, which Virgil and Wisdom both clamored for. Virgil even offered the paladin a final two deal and reminded her that he didn't exactly have a challenge streak going for him, giving her something to think about.

"In the end, Hildegard recognized Virgil as the option she trusted less, and the candyman's game went rotten. The final Big Kahuna challenge went underway, and it's going to determine who will make it to the final two, not to mention they get to pick who'll make it with them. Who will our finalists be? Who will fall just short? The answers to all this and more, tonight! On Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

The final three contestants all stood on the awkward wooden pegs with their hands on the Chris totem.

"It's been ten minutes since the challenge has begun," Chris said. "All you guys have to do is stay standing on those pegs and keep your hand on the totem pole. But how long can you do that? Hehaha. How are you guys feeling?"

"Physically? Mentally? Spiritually? Financially?" Wisdom pressed.

"Yes," Chris simply responded.

"I will not allow myself to lose," Godfrey said. "The only way you'll see me step down is after these two have already done so."

"Quite a claim from someone who's made final two deals with both of us," Hildegard smirked.

"Well, clearly my deal with you doesn't matter if you're just going to lay it out like that," Godfrey grumbled.

"Did you think I didn't already know?" Wisdom asked.

"No, I figured you did, but laying it out there so casually sends more of a message than what's actually being revealed," Godfrey posited.

"And what doth thou claim I am stating?" Hildegard challenged.

"That _you're_ confident in _your_ final two deal with Wisdom," Godfrey answered. "If anything, you've just given me more of a reason to win, if I have no reason to believe that either of you would take me to the final two."

"So you're just going to assume that I won't, based on what she said without actually hearing any input from me?" Wisdom frowned.

"I'm assumed you wouldn't based on how the last couple of rounds have gone," Godfrey responded. "Of course, between the two of you, I think Hildegard is a bigger threat, so I'd be more inclined to take you to the final two than her."

"Surprise of surprises! Godfrey has been dishonest with me!" Hildegard reacted sarcastically.

"If Shadya were in the final three, and you won the challenge, would you take her?" Godfrey doubted.

"That, er, depends on who else is with us, and-"

"I think I've made my point," Godfrey interrupted.

"Interrupting people is rude, you know?" Wisdom told him.

Godfrey moved his shoulders in a slight shrugging motion while keeping his hand on the totem pole.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I become more furious with Godfrey each passing day! He acts as though victory is his birthright, as though his ends justify his means, as though he has done nothing wrong! He is not the final boss that I anticipated, but as the great holy knight Lady Hildegard, 'tis my job to vanquish evil!

* * *

 _So, I've made it this far in the game. Final three. I still can't believe I made it to the second island, let alone this far. Things weren't looking good for me back on the Knights of Goodness. Kun thought he could try and take control of things, which he couldn't, Liberty refused to contribute, Kirkland was never up to any good... It's a shame Tegan left as early as she did, but at least Rhiannon stuck with me throughout the rest of the game. Had we lost one more challenge before the first shuffle, though..._

 _I've been blessed in this game, I would not dare imply otherwise. I am religious, I've made this known in the past. I do believe that the Lord has had a hand in me making it this far. Whether or not it is His will for me to win, I'm still incredibly grateful for this opportunity, and for the fact that I have been able to spend so much of my time out here actually playing the game. This is something I've wanted to do for years and years, and it was frustrating getting my auditions turned down in the past. Perhaps this was the Lord's way of telling me that this was the particular season I was meant to be on. Perhaps the one to win. Winning would change so much for the better._

 _Growing up, it was always the same things. "Fantasy Nerd", "Goody Two Shoes", "not girly enough". These are titles I claim to wear with pride. To some extent, I do. They're a part of who I am. People always tell you that you should be proud of who you are because you're unique and all that, but then people always give me grief for being who I am. Maybe not the same people, but oftentimes it feels like the world is giving me two different messages, and I have no idea which one I should listen to._

 _I can't help but wonder if that's why I was drawn to fantasy in the first place. I've been an easy target for ridicule even before I dressed up and acted like a knight. Roleplaying is definitely a lot of fun, but, other than swapping out "you" for "thou" and other similar bits, the personality I've displayed in this game is still my own. I can, and often do, speak without thinking. I wish so badly to be able to control it, but it just sort of happens. As effortlessly as I can walk across a room or eat lunch, I can speak without thinking._

 _Not only does this get me in trouble with adults, but it also comes at the scorn of my peers as well. It was not an uncommon day when I was younger when a classmate would provoke me, intentionally or not, and I would shout at them, rarely articulating my thoughts and making a scene. I recall wondering just what was wrong with me that things like this keep happening to me. There's nothing wrong with my head. My parents definitely would have gotten me tested. So how does my brain completely disregard any and all consequences and simply act on its own whenever I have something to say?_

 _Okay, I lied earlier, by the way. It wasn't just when I was younger. It still happens to this day. Not nearly as often, as I like to think I've learned at least some from my mistakes, but I still tend to shout at others. In this game, I've been a character, intentionally playing up my tendencies to be loud or react to others' annoyances by calling myself a Lawful Good paladin, an over-the-top knight. Maybe people would think I'm just being in-character. Maybe they won't judge me as harshly as they might otherwise._

 _Am I deceiving everyone? Is this any different from what Godfrey did? Surely it is. I'm not hurting anyone by playing a bit. I was worried that bringing my lance into the game could go awry, but things have gone surprisingly well regarding it. Still, I look forward to the day when I'm comfortable enough with myself that I can talk to my friends without being a character._

 _Well, I managed to make it this far. Only two more people to defeat until I can claim that I am a winner. Until I can be proud of myself._

 _My name is Hildegard Devdan, and I will be winning Total Drama Shuffle Party._

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** When thou watcheth this show on television, thou believe in thy mind that thou could probably do the challenges so much better than those who art doing them. Thou art wrong. Standing on those pegs for but ten minutes is torture. But I shan't yield! To do so could quite literally be to forfeit mine entire game! Never!

* * *

The three contestants' faces all twisted in discomfort.

"Gonna be honest, I didn't expect all three of you to still be up here at this point," Chris teased. "It's been twenty minutes. I hope nobody's getting tired. Hehaha."

"I can sleep when I have guaranteed my place in the final two!" Hildegard insisted.

"So will you not sleep if you're eliminated?" Wisdom asked.

"Art thou planning on eliminating me?" Hildegard grunted.

"Godfrey just said he'd eliminate you if he won the challenge, right?" Wisdom mentioned.

"Dodging the question, eh?" Godfrey pointed out. "So you recognize Hildegard as the threat she is, too."

"I would not have thee poisoning sweet Wisdom's mind with thy manipulations!" Hildegard accused.

"Give her _some_ credit. She's smart enough to come to that conclusion without me spelling it out for her." Godfrey shook his head.

"Can you guys not speak on my behalf?" Wisdom asked flatly. "If you guys are so worried about making it to the finale, then why not focus on winning instead of pointless arguing?"

"Yeah, Hildegard, stop with the pointless arguing," Godfrey taunted.

"Thou will not get the best of me, foul villain!" Hildegard shouted.

"Just because I'm working against you, I have to be a villain?" Godfrey questioned.

"Thou art a villain because thou art manipulative, dishonest, and self-serving!" Hildegard insisted. "'Tis not a difficult concept to grasp!"

"They're not going to stop, are they?" Wisdom sighed to Chris.

"And here I thought keeping watch over this challenge was going to be boring," Chris chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** One thing I've noticed about Hildegard is that she hates being misunderstood. So I was thinking if I got her riled up a little bit... maybe it'd distract her from the task at hand, or the increase in stress would... Damn, now that I'm saying it out loud, it sounds kind of messed up. But I'll be a little messed up if it means I can shape the future.

* * *

 _It was a massive risk, doing what I did. But I'd already spent countless hours, often consecutive and sleepless, making sure that Ginger was perfect. I needed an environment in which she could be social, use problem-solving skills, and be physically active. Total Drama was a perfect fit, and, if things went well, we'd be walking home with a million dollars we could use to further my lofty ideas. Frankly, I'm surprised the show went along with my harebrained idea. Granted, Ginger's entire existence is something most people haven't seen anything like, but still, you'd think they'd give me_ some _catch._

 _What was important, however, was that I was around in case things with Ginger went awry. In order for easier social integration, I needed Ginger to believe that she was an organic human being, just like everyone else. If she or anyone else knew she was different, then she'd be treated differently and/or feel different. That's not what the experiment was for. I wanted to see a robot integrate themselves seamlessly into a human social sphere. Of course, with such a new technology, that's going to be easier said than done. So what I did was take up two contestant spots in this game._

 _Of course, this show seems like it goes out of its way to cast people who would make for good television, and, frankly, I'm not too special on my own, so I needed an excuse as to why I would be here. I couldn't give away that I was the one who built Ginger, of course, for numerous reasons. In fact, I had Ginger believe that_ I _was_ her _robot and that she needed to hide that, just in case anyone caught on to us. Feigning amnesia made a lot of sense. For one, whenever I was performing diagnostics on Ginger, I could leave her with the memory that she was doing so to me and erasing my own memories. For two, it would give the others a reason not to suspect why someone as plain as I am would be on the show at all. And for three, it allowed me to downplay my intelligence, so the others wouldn't see me as a threat._

 _Being out here was definitely a new experience for me. I don't get out a lot back home, mostly because I've been busy working on Ginger, but also because I've just never been very socially inclined to begin with. I used to have friends I'd eat lunch with at school, but I got into the habit of spending lunchtime on coding and planning and what have you, to the point where I just stopped hanging out with them, and they stopped inviting me to hang out. I see it as a temporary setback. I can make friends after I've brought the future into modern times. Hell, I can literally "make" friends if I wanted to._

 _Of course, the truth about me was eventually found out. How Ginger and everyone else reacted was definitely a hell of a learning experience. Hell, how people reacted when they thought_ I _was a robot was a learning experience. I knew I shouldn't have let myself get close to anyone, really, because I knew they'd eventually find out the truth, but Roxie... The wounds with Roxie still haven't healed. They probably won't for a while. I really did like her, and a part of me hoped that she'd be cool with whatever she found out about me. I... hope it was a learning experience for her, too, and for everyone else._

 _Despite everything, though, I've made it this far. I've buried the hatchet with Ginger, I still have friends in people like Virgil... But what really matters is the million dollars. So many upgrades, parts, tools I could get with that money._

 _My name is Godfrey Wakeman, and I will be winning Total Drama Shuffle Party._

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I think I'll let Ginger take the reins of the next project. I'm interested to see what ideas she has for making a robot that I might not have considered. Even if I don't win the million, I think we can figure something out with what little I still have.

* * *

"Half an hour and nobody's stepped down," Chris commented. "You guys really want this, don't you?"

"Can you blame us?" Wisdom asked. "A guaranteed spot in the final two is no small reward, don't you think?"

"Hildegard and I have both said we'd take you to the final two if we won," Godfrey pointed out. "Why keep going if you're already guaranteed a spot?"

"Hast thou any pride?" Hildegard scoffed. "Earning thy spot is far more satisfying than being handed a spot!"

"It's a lot less painful, though," Godfrey pointed out as he adjusted the positions of his feet without actually stepping off the posts.

"Is it any worse than the pain and isolation of your pitiful, meaningless existence?" Wisdom mused.

"...Where the hell did that come from?" Godfrey asked, bemused.

"You've never heard that song?" Wisdom asked.

"I can't say I have," Godfrey told her.

"Really?" Wisdom asked. "Is it not as well-known as I thought, or are you not as media-aware as I thought?"

"I'll confess I've no knowledge of that to which thou referest, either," Hildegard added.

Wisdom nodded. "Do you guys ever find it hard to connect with people who don't partake in the same media you do?"

"All the time," Hildegard agreed.

"I don't really watch TV or movies, or play video games," Godfrey answered. "I listen to music, but I mostly stick with the classics."

"Is Albuquerque not a classic?" Wisdom asked.

"Well obviously I haven't heard, like, every song ever made," Godfrey told her. "Hm, I wonder if robots will ever be able to appreciate music like an organic person."

"Could one truly program the ability to appreciate the nuances, to instill in them their own personal tastes, to sense the true beauty of melody and harmony?" Wisdom wondered.

"I've done a lot of things once considered impossible," Godfrey smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** At the end of the day, even though all of us are fighting for a million dollars, we've all been through this game together, huh? Do you think everyone who played will be friends after all this is over? Or at least most of us? _(She smiles.)_ That'd be nice, wouldn't it?

* * *

 _I still can't believe I even sent in an audition tape, let alone got accepted, let alone made it to the final three. The me of just a couple of years ago wouldn't have done that. She'd be too nervous. Not that I wasn't nervous going into this. I think it's pretty clear to everyone that I'm never one hundred percent sure of myself. It's too risky. What if I'm wrong? What if I make a claim and then some piece of information I had no idea about rears its head? What if I look like a complete idiot who doesn't know what she's talking about in front of everyone?_

 _I think like this a lot. Okay, I overthink. I get anxious. I second-guess myself. I repeat myself a bunch to stall for time for something to say. And then I can't think of anything to say. Needless to say, I get self-conscious about it pretty easily and don't really have a lot of friends. How can I when I struggle to hold an extended conversation? Not to mention I'm just not very captivating as a person. I'm not the prettiest girl in school, and I don't really connect with the same trends that a lot of people do. I do try to keep up with whichever TV shows are coming out, but that alone usually isn't enough._

 _That is how I got into Total Drama, though. Ever since I discovered it, I did find Total Drama particularly interesting. The idea that someone ends up leaving in almost every episode gave stakes to it all, you know? Every time someone leaves, everyone who stayed started to matter a little more, and you started to pick out your favorites over time, started rooting for or against people. It's kind of genius, isn't it? To think that I might have people rooting for or against me at this point. It's kind of hard to believe, even now._

 _I know I haven't been the most social butterfly in the game. I didn't really expect to be. But I still made a few friends out of this. Gretchen, Jeremy, Bunko... Dean. I've followed Total Drama communities online on and off, but nobody at school really likes the show the way I do. Being on the show makes that barrier a bit easier to overcome, doesn't it? These people like it enough to send in an audition, right? And, other than Jeremy who's outgoing and conventionally good-looking, the friends I've made are kind of outcasts, too, aren't they? It's nice getting to meet people who are kind of like me: Total Drama fans who might not have a lot of friends back home._

 _I still can't believe I managed to make moves in this game. This is the first time I've been out on my own, without my parents or anybody. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. Being more independent than I normally would be. Either way, I managed to give my early game alliance the initiative it needed by getting Jim to split his vote. The first shuffle was kind of scary, since I was separated from my allies, and then my new ally Kun was eliminated right after, but Dean joined back up with me, and then I made friends with Bunko and Jeremy... Even Shadya, whom everyone feared, couldn't take me out, even though she tried. And after we merged, people underestimated me in the face of bigger threats like Elmer, Gretchen, or Nestor._

 _I probably just got lucky, but it's taken me this far, hasn't it? Even on this island, I managed to vote out the biggest threat in the game and managed to make deals that would take me this far. It's been scary, as you'd expect social games with stakes to be, but I've still done what I could to play the game. I've still given it my all._

 _My name is Wisdom Cho, and I will win Total Drama Shuffle Party._

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** Of course, friends or not, I'm still in this competition, you know? Are the three of us not going to give our all in order to win? To do otherwise would just be a waste of our and everyone else's time, wouldn't it? So don't count me out, you hear?!

* * *

"It has been one hour, and all three of you guys are still at it!" Chris announced.

"Would any of us give up a guaranteed spot in the finale so easily?" Wisdom doubted. "What could be better in this game than making it to the finale? Winning is our ultimate goal, isn't it? And even if you don't win, you'll still be more easily remembered, no?"

"You make a good point, brah," Chris nodded. "Of course, only two of you are going to make it that far. One of you is going to have tortured yourself in this challenge for over an hour for absolutely nothing. Hehaha."

"Whoever loses shall do so knowing that he fought hard," Hildegard said.

"'He', huh?" Godfrey caught.

"'Tis naught but the use of masculine pronouns to represent the general lot of us all," Hildegard said innocently. "Overthink it not."

"I didn't realize it was still the 1900s," Godfrey remarked.

"To be fair, has she not always spoken archaically?" Wisdom pointed out.

"We all know what she meant," Godfrey insisted. "And here I thought Hildegard was so against people pretending like they don't understand you. I guess it's okay when she does it because she's so Lawful Good."

"'Twas but a jest! Thou art blowing it out of proportion!" Hildegard insisted.

"If you say so," Godfrey smirked.

"You know he's just trying to do what he's accusing you of doing, right?" Wisdom told Hildegard. "Would a grand knight like yourself give in so easily to his trickery?"

"I would not! Thou art correct, Wisdom!" Hildegard decided.

"'Trickery'? I'm not some mustache-twirling villain. I'm just trying to figure out Hildegard's angle, here," Godfrey stated.

"And what conclusion, pray tell, hast thou come to?" Hildegard scoffed.

"I'll tell you if you step down from the challenge," Godfrey smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** After an hour of this challenge, I think we all wanted to step down. But that simply will not do! Too much is on the line! I will stay standing until the others give up or I pass out!

 **Godfrey:** I guess it's far too late in the game to worry about how you feel about your opponents, or, rather, how your opponents feel about you. The girls know that, so they're trying to make me out to be a bad guy in order to avoid feeling guilty when the beat me. Of course, that might work if not for one thing: they will not beat me.

 **Wisdom:** ...Is the final round going to be a challenge, like it usually is? Because, no matter who makes it to the final two, how would they be able to run after this challenge? Surely our feet would be too sore? ...Or is that part of the challenge? _(She shudders.)_

* * *

The final three stood upon their pegs with gritted teeth and worse posture than they had when they started. The arms with which they touched the totem pole were bent down at the elbow. A cold midnight breeze blew past them, prompting them to shiver even more than they had been.

"The only thing forcing you to stay up there is yourself," Chris told the contestants. "You can step down at any point."

None of the contestants reacted.

"Damn, you guys are really focused," Chris pointed out. "Not giving me a whole lot to work with."

"'Tis not... about... thee..." Hildegard mustered.

"Fair enough," Chris said as he took his phone out of his pocket.

"...Chris?" Wisdom asked.

"Ugh. What?" Chris groaned.

"...Could you help me down?" Wisdom squeaked.

"At the risk of sounding insensitive... can you not step down yourself?" Godfrey asked.

Wisdom shook her head. "Pain..."

"Yeah, they told me this was going to happen," Chris acknowledged as he put his phone back in his pocket.

Chris made his way towards Wisdom. "Alright, arm around my shoulder. Yeah, like that," he coaxed as he eased Wisdom off of the pegs.

Wisdom grimaced as her feet hit the ground. She could only walk on her tiptoes as Chris guided her to a nearby bench.

"Wisdom is out of the challenge!" Chris announced. "It's down to you two: Godfrey and Hildegard. One of you will secure your place in the final two and get to choose who will accompany them."

"One step... closer." Godfrey forced a smile.

"Yea... to my victory," Hildegard added.

Meanwhile, Wisdom took deep breaths as she eased out the pain.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** It's kind of embarrassing being the first to step down, huh? But... I felt like I was going to pass out if I'd stayed up there much longer, you know? The pain... Again I must question: are the final two meant to do a challenge with such little time to recover after this?

* * *

"What do you... make of Wisdom... dropping?" Godfrey asked Hildegard wearily.

"What dost thou... mean?" Hildegard grunted through the pain.

"She must... really trust in the both of us..." Godfrey explained.

"Why shouldn't she?" Hildegard asked. "We art clearly not taking one another... to the final two..."

"Maybe we weren't... going in... but this... changes things," Godfrey posited.

"How so?" Hildegard doubted.

"One of us... will win... and that person... will compete in the... final challenge," Godfrey explained. "If that person... faces Wisdom... they'd be in... more pain than her... tomorrow... due to participating in this challenge... for a longer period of time."

"Art thou insinuating that... thou planneth to... take me to... final two... if thou won?" Hildegard doubted.

"Yep..." Godfrey confirmed. "Wisdom's... no slouch... She's won challenges... before. So if she had... any advantage..."

"How typical... Abandoning an ally... when it's... convenient..." Hildegard scoffed.

"First of all... Wisdom has openly worked against me... for the past few rounds..." Godfrey grunted. "Second of all... You're the one who... voted out... Shadya and..."

"Thou had best not finish that sentence," Hildegard glared.

"You can't just... deny your actions..." Godfrey scowled. "You hypocrite."

"I..." Hildegard wavered.

"You claim to be... a righteous holy knight..." Godfrey continued. "But you've played a... dirtier game... than I have."

"That is not true!" Hildegard shouted. "You... Thou deceived us all!"

"The only allies I've... backstabbed... were allies I barely trusted," Godfrey insisted. "Did you... deceive us in... how much you trusted Shadya and-"

"I did not!" Hildegard shouted.

"Then how can you... call me disloyal?" Godfrey spat. "Yeah... I lied about my identity... but I had... a good reason!"

"I had... good reason... to do what I did, too!" Hildegard cried. "Thou cannot... ignore that!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hildegard:** I experienced no pleasure in voting out mine allies! How dare Godfrey compare me to him?! This must be another of his manipulations! I shan't fall for it! The great Lady Hildegard has more resolve than that!

* * *

"I was building up to it... before... but I'll offer you... a deal..." Godfrey managed a small smile.

"I don't want to... hear it..." Hildegard growled.

"A final two deal..." Godfrey laid out. "No matter... who of us drops... we take the other... and eliminate Wisdom..."

"Am I allowed to intervene?" Wisdom asked Chris.

"I mean, as long as you don't push one of them off or anything, go for it," Chris allowed.

"I haven't been down for very long, right?" Wisdom called out to Godfrey and Hildegard. "Would there really be any notable difference in soreness or anything if I was in the final two? Besides, I did drop about before you too, right? Clearly, I'm not as good at challenges as either of you two, am I?"

"You had me in the... first half, but... that second part... is a load of crock..." Godfrey denied.

"How? She clearly... dropped out before we did..." Hildegard scoffed.

"But was it because... she isn't as good at challenges...?" Godfrey doubted.

"Why else would I drop before you guys?" Wisdom winced. "That blows my shot at safety, right?"

"Or does it?" Godfrey chuckled. "Both Hildegard and I... were planning on taking you to the... final two... I think we can all agree that's... obvious."

"So you accuse me of complacency?" Wisdom grunted.

"I still think you... dropped first... to conserve your energy... reduce your pain level..." Godfrey claimed. "You may claim it won't make a difference... but... as someone who's still enduring this pain... I sure would love to be... resting and... off my feet."

"Be-eth my guest," Hildegard chimed in.

"Come on, Hildegard," Godfrey continued. "Do you want to reward her... acting as if she's owed a spot in the... final two? How spoiled. After making it this far... solely for being no threat."

"...Why are you so intent on getting Hildegard to want to take you to the final two?" Wisdom asked. "Is it because you feel like you're about to pass out from the pain?"

"This challenge is... a veritable hell, but... I'm not giving up... anytime soon," Godfrey forced a smile.

"Nor am I!" Hildegard proclaimed weakly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** I think Hildegard and I both want off these damn pegs. She was clearly in extreme pain, and I definitely was. If a final two deal going through was going to get it over with faster, then I'm going to pitch a final two deal.

* * *

"You guys have been up there for an hour and a half!" Chris announced.

Godfrey and Hildegard were too spaced out to respond. Both contestants' faces were twisted in incredible pain. Their legs shook involuntarily, and they could not keep their backs upright.

"Godfrey and Hildegard, clearly in some kind of zen-like state," Chris commentated.

"There's no shame in stepping down, you know?" Wisdom urged. "Don't push your body past its limits, you hear?"

No sooner than Wisdom had finished her sentiment, one of the contestants collapsed off of the pegs and onto the ground below. The others all gasped.

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"Hildegard!" Wisdom cried. "Are you okay?!"

Chris walked up to Hildegard to check on her. "She's passed out, brah."

"Damn..." Godfrey whispered.

"This, of course, means that she's out of the challenge, meaning that Godfrey has secured his spot in the final two!" Chris announced.

"Yes..." Godfrey croaked. "Could someone... help me down...?"

Chris walked up to Godfrey and helped him off of the pegs and towards the bench.

"I'll give you a second to take it easy... and for Hildegard to come to... before you decide who will be joining you in our final round," Chris said to Godfrey.

Godfrey nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** Final two... holy cow. Deciding who to take with me is a harder decision than I thought it'd be. There are pros and cons to taking either of them. Hildegard is clearly in a worse state, but she's always been better at challenges than Wisdom, and she could just be extra motivated to do better because she passed out. On the other hand, Wisdom's had more time to recover from less pain than Hildegard, and she's won challenges in the past, but she isn't as good at them as Hildegard is. Either way, I just have one more ordeal to overcome.

* * *

An intern had provided three buckets of ice water for the contestants to soak their feet in as they sat on the bench. Hildegard had come to.

"How embarrassing..." Hildegard sighed.

"You did your best, you know?" Wisdom consoled. "You really didn't give up until you gave out, huh?"

"I should have been stronger..." Hildegard pounded weakly on the seat of the bench.

"Alright, now that we've taken some time to recover, it's time for Godfrey to make his decision on who will be joining him in the finale of Total Drama Shuffle Party," Chris announced.

"Alright..." Godfrey stood up and stood before Hildegard and Wisdom. "I'll be honest: I'm still not one hundred percent on who I want to take with me. So, in the spirit of previous eliminations on this island, I want both of you to pitch to me why I should take you to the final two."

"Thou just revel in the power dynamic," Hildegard scoffed.

"Is that the start of your pitch?" Godfrey asked.

Hildegard briefly panicked before clearing her throat. "Well, clearly I am in little shape to be performing any difficult tasks. As thou said before, sweet Wisdom has had more time to recover, and 'tis not as though she is unable to win a challenge. Thou knowest what sort of pain I am in. 'Twould be a fairer match."

Godfrey nodded. "Wisdom?"

Wisdom took a deep breath. "Well, even if Hildegard is in more pain now, will whoever faces you not be able to sleep it off? Does it really make any difference that I dropped out before she did? Besides, even though we've had a rocky past couple of rounds, we've worked together in the past, you know? We've had friendly chats about our feelings and stuff, remember? I... I guess that's all."

"Well, those pitches did skew me a bit," Godfrey admitted. "Not by much, though. I think I'm going to go with what my gut had already been telling me to do."

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"Congratulations-" Godfrey cut himself off. "Ugh, I really can't decide. I keep on second-guessing myself."

"Well, you'll have to pick somebody. Tonight, preferably," Chris instructed flatly.

"Wisdom," Godfrey said. "My gut says to take Wisdom with me. That's my final choice. I've already changed my mind about it, but I've made my choice, and I have to stick with it."

Hildegard buried her face in her hands and wept.

"Please, take it easy, alright?" Wisdom urged Hildegard as she rubbed her back supportively. "You need your rest, alright?"

"I'm sorry, Hildegard," Godfrey said.

"So, to clarify and make it official: you are choosing to eliminate Hildegard?" Chris made sure.

"...I am," Godfrey confirmed.

"...I deserve this," Hildegard choked up. "I betrayed those who trusted me the most. Perhaps this is the Lord's will. Perhaps this is why I passed out."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Wisdom:** So, wait... I made it to the final two?! I mean, I always figured the other two would take me if one of them won, but... No, this is not the time to doubt or second-guess myself. It's do or die right now. I just need to... go for it!

* * *

Godfrey, Wisdom, and Chris were all present as Hildegard stood by the Elevator of Losers.

"Good game, Hildegard," Godfrey said. "You were a worthy opponent, and a worthy ally for as short of a time as that lasted."

"You did great in this game. Third place is really good," Wisdom told her.

"Indeed, yet... it still hurts," Hildegard admitted. "Perhaps I must simply let time and prayer heal my wounds."

"Regardless of how it goes, thanks for playing!" Chris told Hildegard. "You certainly made the season more interesting by being here."

Hildegard smiled weakly. "I do appreciate that."

Hildegard entered the Elevator of Losers, and Chris lowered her down to the losers camp below.

"Congrats on making the final two, you guys," Chris told Godfrey and Wisdom. "Rest up for tomorrow's challenge. You're going to need it. Hehaha."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Godfrey:** It was a tough decision, but ultimately, I do feel like Wisdom made better points than Hildegard. I was leaning towards taking Wisdom anyway, mostly because I just like her more than I like Hildegard, but you know what? Wisdom's right: Hildegard's just a bigger threat, all factors considered. Now I just need to win one more challenge. Let's do it.

 **Wisdom:** It's pretty clear that Godfrey underestimates me. I guess that the most I've done to damage his game is making sure Hildegard took me to the final three instead of Virgil, huh? Well, either way, I'm in this to win it! I've made it this far, and I've had a few close calls along the way, but I am in the final two. Now I just need to win one more challenge. Let's do it.

* * *

Chris sat in the transport helicopter.

"After a grueling battle of endurance, we have our final two!" Chris announced. "Who will be our ultimate winner, and who will fall just short of joining the Total Drama hall of fame, not to mention the million dollars? It's the big one, folks! Tune in to the heart-pounding finale... of Total! Drama! Sh-Sh-Sh-SHUFFLE PARTY!"

* * *

 **Final Two:**

Godfrey - The Mysterious Roboticist

Wisdom - The Question Asker

 **Eliminated Makani Island:**

 _Hildegard - The Paladin_

 _Virgil - The Sweet Tooth_

 _Rhiannon - The Porn Star_

 _Shadya - The Multi-Talented Braggart_

 **Eliminated Apoy Island:**

 _Ginger - The Snarky Robot_

 _Nestor - The Total Drama Blogger_

 _Gretchen - The Self-Proclaimed Protagonist_

 _Bunko - The Ditzy Caricaturist_

 _Elmer - The Brainy Boyfriend_

 _Steve Jenkins - The Inflated Ego_

 **Eliminated Kairi Island:**

 _Dean - The Eternal Loser_

 _Roxie - The Edgy Haiku Poet_

 _Jeremy - The Passionate Mountaineer_

 _Liberty - The Sleepyhead_

 _Fred - The Energetic Blind Boy_

 _Kun - The Insecure Leader_

 **Eliminated Whenua Island:**

 _Louise - The Brawny Girlfriend_

 _Hiram - The Timid Mama's Boy_

 _Kirkland - The Cynical Klepto_

 _Rowan - The Lesser Target_

 _Tegan - The Scene Girl_

 _Jim - The Expecting Father_

* * *

 _A/N: You remember how I mentioned that Steve Jenkins was going to go home before the first shuffle even happened, but I liked writing him so much, and the readers liked reading him so much, that I kept keeping him around? Real talk: the same is true of Hildegard. She was originally just going to be a fun, over-the-top gimmick character to keep the early episodes a bit more fun and lighthearted, but I think she served that role well enough that the rest of the story benefited from her continued stay in the game. She had big interactions with so many characters because she was a big character who was prone to interaction, and, though I feared that keeping up her ye olde speech pattern would get difficult or annoying over time, I surprisingly never tired of it._

 _Of course, I am physically incapable of writing an endgamer without at least a little bit of depth, so over time, Hildegard established herself with traits like being religious, struggling with having to make tough moves when she aims to be a holy knight, and tactless to the point where it affects her relationships with others. She wasn't a five-dimensional character with flawless development or anything, but she didn't need to be. But that's all my perception. What did you guys think of Hildegard?_

 _Oh, and as is standard, I've set up a new poll asking which of the twenty-four contestants are your favorites!_


End file.
